Sept. 1, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:26:15
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| A lot of people, when they do stand-up, they do jokes. | ||
| There's very few people telling long stories like you do. | ||
| Yeah, they're the best. | ||
| My favorite shit was that. | ||
| Carlin was that. | ||
| Carlin would do both. | ||
| He would mix it up. | ||
| He'd do, well, not jokes, jokes, but he would do that. | ||
| Carlin would do one-liners. | ||
| He did whatever he thought was funny. | ||
| I loved Sam Kinison. | ||
| Bill Cosby, though, was probably the most influential. | ||
| Bill Cosby, and oddly enough, Spalding Gray, probably the most influential. | ||
| What happened to that guy? | ||
| Didn't he die? | ||
| He killed himself, unfortunately. | ||
|
unidentified
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He killed himself. | |
| I don't know if he can prove that sort of thing, but they think he drowned himself. | ||
| He threw himself off the ferry. | ||
| He obviously had a lot of issues and whatnot. | ||
| I used to enjoy his things, his readings. | ||
| If you've never listened to, you can listen to Terrors of Pleasure, Monster in a Box. | ||
| Of course, he came to prominence swimming to Cambodia. | ||
| But Monster in a Box is fucking riveting. | ||
| And it's literally a dude telling a long story. | ||
| And I loved it. | ||
| It's like an hour and a half, two hours maybe or something like that. | ||
| It's great to have something different like that. | ||
| You sit there and you can watch a video version of it that I believe exists, but I always listen to it. | ||
| And it was just magical, the idea of like a dude who's essentially telling one very long joke that has highs and lows, emotional beats, and makes you sad, and it gets real. | ||
| Like every once in a while, he throws, and you're laughing, and he'll just stop you dead, but like, my mother killed herself, you know, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And he just derails the comedy. | ||
| And you forget, like, oh shit, this dude's not a comic. | ||
| He's literally storytelling. | ||
| And so I appreciated that, and I appreciated Bill Cosby. | ||
| One of my favorite comedy bits of all time is the one side of that album to Russell, my brother, who I slept with. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever heard it, but it's so fucking hysterical. | ||
| It's Bill Cosby's, I guess, how long was the side of a record back in the day? | ||
| 40 minutes or something? | ||
| 45. One side? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| 30 minutes? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Maybe 30? | ||
| Because you would flip sides when you had a good long record, right? | ||
| I want to say 30 minutes max. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
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But this piece... | |
| We should Google this. | ||
| Somebody's got a computer in this room. | ||
| This piece is the whole side of an album. | ||
| And it's essentially him telling a story about him and his little brother trying to go to sleep. | ||
| When they were kids. | ||
| And the interplay with their father. | ||
| And it's spellbinding. | ||
| He paints the picture, puts you right there in the room. | ||
| He never curses, dude. | ||
| Never uses a sexual innuendo. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| None of the tricks that... | ||
| If I had to do it straight like him, I could never have done it. | ||
| Still can't do it to this day. | ||
| And he drops science for that entire bit. | ||
| It is... | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| It's hysterical. | ||
| He's absolutely adorable as the kids, and he's playing both of them and stuff. | ||
| Do yourself a favor and listen to it. | ||
| That was very inspirational for me, too. | ||
| I was like, look, I could do this. | ||
| If this was kind of comedy, I think I could do this. | ||
| If you could tell long stories. | ||
| Even his Chicken Heart shit, the Go-Karts bit, his Fat Albert Buck Buck and the Ninth Street Bridge bit. | ||
| Bill Cosby's stuff is... | ||
| I know some people maybe aren't into him now, but... | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Before he did that show, even now, go listen to the albums. | ||
| Apparently, even now, today, stand-up is still great. | ||
| I've heard people that, like, Chris Rock was on TV talking about it once, about how he'd just gone to see him. | ||
| And he was, I think it was in the movie Comedian, the Jerry Seinfeld movie, I think that's what it is, which wasn't that long ago, you know, 10 years ago. | ||
| He said that Cosby was still so sharp. | ||
| He said, he goes, Chris Rock, who's one of the greatest ever, was like, I feel like a fraud. | ||
| He goes, I feel like a fraud after watching him. | ||
| He goes, he just went up no opener for like two hours, and he did two shows. | ||
| You know, Bill Cosby is an elderly gentleman. | ||
|
unidentified
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I was going to say, at this point, he's got to be like 70. But he's still up there killing it. | |
| And the crazy thing is, I don't even think he goes anywhere to try his shit out. | ||
| I think he just writes it all down, writes it at home, you know, and then he even said it, like he does stand-up on The Tonight Show, and he literally doesn't practice the stand-up. | ||
| He goes, I know what's funny. | ||
| Especially at that point. | ||
|
unidentified
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How crazy is that? | |
| I know it's funny. | ||
| I'm just going to write out my entire monologue. | ||
| He's an old master. | ||
| Bill Cosby would be a great guy if someone... | ||
| I wouldn't subscribe to all of his principles because he's really into clean comedy. | ||
| I really appreciate good, dirty comedy. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I appreciate good, clean comedy. | ||
| Again, he's a master. | ||
| Bill Cosby is a master. | ||
|
unidentified
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I can't do it. | |
| He's a master. | ||
| That's not my favorite. | ||
| I've got to be honest. | ||
| If I had a choice between listening to Cosby and Kinnison, one of the reasons why I would choose Kinnison is because he would go deep. | ||
| He would take me to crazy places, and that's what I want to do. | ||
| I've got a couple drinks in me. | ||
| I want to hear you talk about Jesus' last words. | ||
| Ow! | ||
| Not my left hand! | ||
|
unidentified
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Ho, ho! | |
| I want to hear you go deep. | ||
| Talk about necrophilia. | ||
| The relationship shit he did was really, really fucking genius. | ||
| Carlin in his book, in that sort of biography book, I think he talks about Kenison. | ||
| Either that or I was watching an interview that Carlin did with Jon Stewart before he was Jon Stewart, Jon Stewart, for some anniversary or maybe at Aspen Comedy Fest. | ||
| And he said that Kinnison was the one that made him step his game up. | ||
| Carlin was just like, he's very rarely a comic like Blown Boy, and he loved comics. | ||
| But Kinison was the one that made him go, oh shit, why didn't I do that? | ||
| Why don't you move to where the fucking food is? | ||
| Did you ever read his brother's book? | ||
| No, how is it? | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's called My Brother Sam. | ||
| It's very honest. | ||
| Very honest and very insightful. | ||
| But one of the things that he says is that Sam got hit by a car when he was a little boy. | ||
| I think it was a truck. | ||
| And after he got hit, he was never the same kid again. | ||
| All of a sudden he was angry and reckless. | ||
| So he literally became Sam Kinison because he got hit by a car. | ||
| They said before that he was like a normal kid. | ||
| But then after he got hit, all of a sudden he became like reckless and wild, which sometimes happens when people have head injuries. | ||
| Yeah, it's a head injury. | ||
| It's crazy because a head injury might have created one of the greatest comedians in the history of the known universe. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| For real. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's crazy to think because he was so fucking wild, man. | ||
| That's why Silent Bob wears a coat. | ||
| I wore that trench coat because of Sam Kinison. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
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I loved Sam Kinison. | |
| I had a poster in my room as a kid. | ||
| I don't even know how they fucking got him to do this. | ||
| But they had in school, they started this in school advertising shit even back then. | ||
| We're talking 1988. And they'd have billboards where they would put posters in where there was some celebrity talking about Reed and it was sponsored by some fucking company and shit. | ||
| Everyone made out somehow. | ||
| But ultimately the message was good, whatever the message was meant to be for a high schooler passing by in the hallway. | ||
| Sam Kinison was on one of them. | ||
| And to think about that, Sam Kinison on an inspirational high school poster, if you know Sam Kinison's work at all, it's just lunacy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| I don't know how it happened. | ||
| He must have had a hell of an agent or manager who was like... | ||
| I got you this gig, and I don't know if anyone remembers it but me, but I remember I was a huge fan. | ||
| I'd seen him on SNL, like he did that fucking crushing... | ||
| I'd seen him on the Rodney Dangerfield special, but on SNL he came out, and they had to bleep him and shit like that. | ||
| He was legendary already. | ||
| And there he was in this poster, and I remember going to the principal and being like, can I have this when they take it down? | ||
| And so he gave me the poster, and I had it in my room for the longest time. | ||
| And even though it was like... | ||
| He couldn't curse on it. | ||
| It was about, you know, fucking doing your best or whatever, being your own person. | ||
| It was classic Kinnison yell pose, you know, of the ah, ah. | ||
| So I had it in my room. | ||
| I started wearing trench coats because of Kinnison. | ||
|
unidentified
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He made it look cool. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| We went up to New York City to when they were in Manhattan down the village. | ||
| What was that place like? | ||
| Vintage, not vintage vinyl, it'd be a record store, but it was about clothes, old clothes, vintage clothes, and bought old trench coats and shit, trying to look like Sam Kinnis. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Is there a return of Jay and Silent Bob in the works any time ever? | ||
| No, we do the podcast now. | ||
| We've kind of taken the characters and turned them into, I guess, title more than anything else. | ||
|
unidentified
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Did you ever have a script for it? | |
| Like another one? | ||
| No. | ||
| There was like, no, there was no script for it, but like every once in a while you'd muse about like, oh, maybe this would be funny or I'd do this. | ||
| And they started getting more and more ridiculous, and that's when I knew it was time to stop. | ||
| Plus, we're getting older. | ||
| It's kind of tough to pull that off at like fucking age 40. I love it. | ||
| Yeah, dude, but don't rule it out. | ||
| If you smoke a fatty one day and you're sitting in a jacuzzi and you go, bing! | ||
|
unidentified
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It's the characters. | |
| I think people still like to get to see the characters. | ||
| People would love it. | ||
| I bet you can do that in cartoon form. | ||
| I would love to see it. | ||
|
unidentified
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You could live forever. | |
| That's true. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's easier. | |
| But I would love to see it from the place where you're at today. | ||
| I would love to see the newest version. | ||
|
unidentified
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The weed version of it. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| That might be the danger. | ||
| Jay and Silent Bob were not written by a stoner in the least. | ||
| That's what I wanted to ask you about. | ||
| So what happened at that point? | ||
| Maybe they don't work if they're written by a stoner. | ||
| I interrupted you earlier when you were talking about weed, when you were talking about what's the difference now. | ||
| Three years later, you've been smoking weed for how long now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I started in 1938. 1938? | |
| No, age 38. So that was, I'm sorry, 1998. You started in 98. That's when you really started smoking weed? | ||
| No, I'm sorry. | ||
| 2008. I took 10 years off. | ||
| Yeah, I was baffled because I thought I'd heard that Seth Rogen got you into it. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I was doing the math in my head going, wait a second. | ||
| How high are you? | ||
| Not very at all. | ||
| A, I'm bad at math, but B, I skip a decade in my head all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| I forget that. | ||
| You do that in checks? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| No, just when the conversation. | ||
| Always talking about something where I'm like, oh, but that was like 90-something. | ||
| They're like, Kevin, then we had a whole decade, and now we're into a new decade. | ||
| Because once you get into the bubble, you start making entertainment, there is no more calendar for you. | ||
| There's schedules, you know, shooting scheduled. | ||
| There ain't no more calendar. | ||
| You don't look at the calendar the way everybody else does. | ||
| And the idea of 2000 still is hard to sink in. | ||
| And then 2011? | ||
| What? | ||
| Really? | ||
| 2000 seems like we're living in the future. | ||
| You remember that ACDC song? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Ace Frehley song? | ||
|
unidentified
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Don't you know, I'm a 2,000 man. | |
| Freely's Comet? | ||
| Ace Freely. | ||
| I think it was on his solo when he was with Kiss and they all branched off into solo. | ||
| But singing about some guy in the future. | ||
| He was singing about a 2,000 man. | ||
| A guy flying around in jet cars and shit. | ||
| I remember being, I was born in 70. And so it was very easy to do the math because, you know, every 10 years, whatever the decade was, you were kind of going to be that age or at least have the number involved. | ||
| So I would always say, like, in the year 2000, I'll be 30. Because I could do that very simple math. | ||
| And that seemed like such a far away fucking concept. | ||
| And now we're 11 years past it. | ||
| 11 years past, like the oldest I ever imagined I could be. | ||
| I tell people I'm 44, and then I have to go, ooh, that's not good. | ||
| It doesn't matter anymore. | ||
| How much longer is this going to last? | ||
| It does matter, man. | ||
| Do you feel pain or no? | ||
| Well, I'm still in very good shape, and I take care of my body, and I work out, but I have to. | ||
| If I don't take care of it, it drops off quick now. | ||
| That's what I'm noticing. | ||
| If I get injured... | ||
| And I can't work out for a couple weeks now. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| When I come back, it's like I'm fucking starting from scratch, man. | ||
| I come back, I'm a pussy. | ||
| Like, really, just two weeks. | ||
| Two weeks, I lose like half of my cardio. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Two weeks, you get exhausted like really quickly. | ||
| And it's like you have to build your body back to some sort of artificial level of functionality in order to do like martial arts and things at my age. | ||
| And if you don't, it's not going to work anymore. | ||
| Your shit's starting to break, son. | ||
| Your artificial functionality must look like... | ||
| It must look like the bionic man compared to my best. | ||
| My absolute best. | ||
| It's just a focus thing. | ||
| I started doing martial arts when I was a real little kid. | ||
| By the time I was 15 years old, when I really got obsessed, I was in the sophomore year of high school. | ||
| And that's when I really, really, truly got obsessed with martial arts. | ||
| From that time, I've always been training. | ||
| That's a long time. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| For me, it's like, you know, some people go and they play basketball. | ||
| Some people go and, you know, they'll meet some friends and they'll go play golf together. | ||
| I go and do jujitsu. | ||
| To me, it's a normal thing. | ||
| It's like, you know, going to and training in martial arts, it's like, you know, it's how I get my aggressions out. | ||
| It's how I straighten my mind out at the end of the day. | ||
| It's how when, you know, when you're in the face of something very difficult, like sparring with someone when you're doing jujitsu sparring, you're forced into this Sort of a moving meditation sort of a zone. | ||
| Where you can only think about what you're doing. | ||
| You have to figure out a way to manage your resources. | ||
| Because you're in a hand-to-hand combat battle with a skilled man. | ||
| And you guys are going back and forth with each other and you're trying to choke each other. | ||
| And it's very intense. | ||
| But in doing that very intense thing, you lose yourself in the movements and you hit this sort of a zen state. | ||
| And you can only hold it for like a certain amount of time before you get fucking exhausted. | ||
| And the key is holding that moment for as long as possible. | ||
| Keeping it going for as long as possible. | ||
| So you got to do like strength and conditioning and chin-ups and dips and fucking kettlebells. | ||
| And all this shit is just to get in there so you can go deeper and deeper with the jujitsu. | ||
| So you can Tap people when you weren't tapping them. | ||
| Avoid being tapped when you were getting tapped. | ||
| So you have to tune. | ||
| It's almost like your effort and your will is what powers your race car. | ||
| Instead of just being able to go to the track and get a new engine or whatever the fuck you do. | ||
| No, your effort and your will determine what your physical body can do. | ||
| So it's this crazy game that you get stuck and get addicted to. | ||
| And this game is jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Even this many years in, you're still learning. | ||
| Fucking love it. | ||
| I love learning new shit, man. | ||
| I love working with different kickboxing trainers and learning new shit. | ||
| Because when you learn anything, I believe it elevates everything. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| I believe that the more excellence you can get in your body, in your mind, in your day, the better everything is. | ||
| I think that the better you'll feel, the better you'll be... | ||
| You'll project better energy out there. | ||
| You'll be nicer to people. | ||
| They'll be nicer to you. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| I think in getting great at something, in finding, even in just attempting to improve at something, you're always going towards the right direction. | ||
| You're always using positive energy. | ||
| You're always using discipline. | ||
| You're always getting results. | ||
| In improving anything, when you see those results, That reinforces this notion in your whole existence to push forward and be positive and create and resolve things and figure things out and reach your pinnacle. | ||
| So I think all that stuff, that's why I got this tattoo. | ||
| I think it's all connected. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| The Book of the Seven Rings? | ||
| Book of Five Rings. | ||
| Five Rings. | ||
| Miyamoto Musashi. | ||
| I added two fucking rings in there. | ||
| Yeah, maybe you're the fucking next guy. | ||
| You're going to contribute to it. | ||
| What is the... | ||
| So wait, explain the title, The Five Rings. | ||
| You know, I don't know. | ||
| You'd have to really get into his... | ||
| I don't know how deep you got into it. | ||
| I don't know what he... | ||
| So wait, this dude was a ronin. | ||
| Yeah, he was Iranian. | ||
| How does the story end? | ||
| What happens? | ||
| He just fucking bangs bitches and writes poetry. | ||
| For real. | ||
| He just got tired of chopping people up and he wrote a book. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| He was just like, you know, I killed a lot. | ||
| Now I'm just going to lie. | ||
| Yeah, I wrote a book on how to be a carpenter and how to be a fucking philosopher and how to be in anything, really. | ||
| Follow that book. | ||
| It's an amazing book. | ||
| If you can figure out... | ||
| It's so hard when you translate from Japanese to American to really know his words. | ||
| You would really have to learn Japanese and understand the difference in the... | ||
| The way things are worded. | ||
| When you translate, you get a rough estimate of what the guy was saying. | ||
| It would have to be in the context of his culture. | ||
| And you take it in the context of the time that he existed. | ||
| And it's an amazing insight into an exceptional individual. | ||
| It's an amazing insight into a guy who had reached a height, clearly, that no one around him had with this sword fighting thing. | ||
| Which is so intense. | ||
| There's no room for bullshit in sword fighting. | ||
| You can't pretend you're better than you are. | ||
| There's no bullshitting. | ||
| There's no need to talk shit, okay? | ||
| This is all going down with steel that's going to be moving at like 50 miles an hour towards your fucking face. | ||
| You've got to be absolutely 100% sure of the correct technique, how to do, how to avoid, and get in there and get your shit done and survive. | ||
| This is not tennis, bitch. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| To live a life like that, fighting people with fucking swords, and to have done it successfully, I think it was 62 times was the number that he supposedly killed. | ||
| And then be like, it's time to become a writer. | ||
| Could you imagine somebody publishes that book and somebody gives him a bad review? | ||
| He's just like... | ||
| There's occasionally a guy like that that'll exist in martial arts. | ||
| There's these occasional guys that will stand out above and beyond all the rest. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie is the last one. | ||
| He's the premier member of the Gracie family. | ||
| You ever heard of them for the Ultimate Fighting Championship? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| You're completely out of the loop. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, I'm bare. | ||
| I'm virgin mind. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I knew there was people like you out there. | ||
| I knew. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard of you. | ||
| But that's not even just for UFC or mixed martial arts. | ||
| Any sports. | ||
| Any sports beyond hockey. | ||
| Beyond hockey. | ||
| I can do, but anything else. | ||
| Like, you know, they'll be like, oh, this guy. | ||
| And they'll say a name, and it's a name that I've heard for fucking years, but I don't know what sport the dude plays. | ||
| What made you be this? | ||
| What, that way? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What made you be this way? | ||
| Why are you broke, Kev? | ||
| No, it's not broke at all. | ||
| Look, I'm the worst. | ||
| Here's mine. | ||
| Professional pool and fighting. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all I watch. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I don't know anything else. | ||
| If you're a guy in another sport, either you have to talk a lot of shit, like that Ocho Cinco guy, or you have to get arrested for something. | ||
| What does he play? | ||
| He's a football player. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I was going to guess baseball. | ||
| And then Michael Vick gets arrested for killing dogs, so I know who he is. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| They're definitely the infamous O.J. Simpson. | ||
| Yes, I heard of that guy. | ||
| Yeah, you're not a boxer or a kickboxer, but I know some obscure little Japanese guys that fight in some weird circuit over in Japan. | ||
| I know the name of a lot of different fighters. | ||
| I've caught a lot of that information in my head, but no sports guys. | ||
| Never had that. | ||
| Never been a sports dude. | ||
| But you are, because you're hockey. | ||
| I could say I'm not a sports dude either, but I obviously am, because I'm into mixed martial arts. | ||
| I'm more about the philosophy of hockey than anything else. | ||
| What is the philosophy of hockey? | ||
| Hockey more as an idea. | ||
| The philosophy of hockey is kind of the philosophy of life. | ||
| You have a goal, someone's in your way. | ||
| Don't let them stop you. | ||
| Score. | ||
| That's very basic. | ||
| I don't think it needs to go much deeper. | ||
| I think that's kind of the beauty of the poetry of it. | ||
| Now, you tie that to one of the most graceful, beautiful games on the planet and played with physical excellence. | ||
| I mean, I understand it. | ||
| You've got to be on your fucking game to step into a ring with a dude who could fucking kill you with his fists. | ||
| But when you dial it down to a game that's less lethal and more just about moving a ball and or a puck around, that sport is probably the greatest athleticism, I think, to play any sport. | ||
| Because think about it. | ||
| Just to stand in skates, you're using more muscles than most people actually use on a regular basis. | ||
| So even if you're not doing anything in the game... | ||
| You already have to be athletically inclined just to stand there. | ||
| Now add to it, they play tops, what, two minute shifts? | ||
| Usually some one minute shifts too, hardcore. | ||
| Think about how hard you have to skate in order to go back and forth. | ||
| Think about the running that you'll do on a football field, or a basketball court rather. | ||
| Let's go with a basketball court. | ||
| You know, it's foot on track. | ||
| You're used to running. | ||
| Now try that with skates. | ||
| Now stop. | ||
| Now go back quick. | ||
| Now wait. | ||
| Go back the other way. | ||
| You're puck chasing the whole time. | ||
| Like, that's why they have those quick shifts because who could stand that? | ||
| You have to be so physically in shape to do that. | ||
| And it's beautiful to watch people do that. | ||
| Beautiful, graceful. | ||
| Look like they're skating across the giant diamond or some such shit. | ||
| And they're on water. | ||
| There's this miracle, this element of like, what do you mean it's water? | ||
| It's water, but it's hard water. | ||
| Everything about it really speaks to me. | ||
| God damn, you're making me a hockey fan. | ||
| I'm ready to go watch some fucking hockey. | ||
| It's humble, too. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Most athletes are very fucking big shades on, and they don't want to talk to cameras and stuff. | ||
| A lot of dramatics and whatnot. | ||
| Hockey players aren't like that at all. | ||
| Hockey players, man, you never have to hunt a hockey player down for a quote, I think, when you're... | ||
| I think most journalists will tell you that. | ||
| Like, their whole philosophy is very beautiful. | ||
| It's not like any philosophy here in regards to baseball or into football, any other sport. | ||
| Philosophy is as simple. | ||
| Sell the game. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Sell the game. | ||
| The idea of passing the game onto... | ||
| What I just did a few seconds ago, I sold the game. | ||
| So much so that you were like, yeah, I want to see that. | ||
| That sounds Somebody should take a clip, and somebody will take a clip of this and put it on the internet and use it as a promo for hockey. | ||
| They should. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| They've got to be way more famous before anyone will pay attention to it. | ||
| You have to be way more famous? | ||
| I think so, before people fucking pay attention to something. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| How famous do you think you are? | ||
| Are you not aware? | ||
| Not very. | ||
| Oh, wow, you're crazy. | ||
| Listen, you're famous as fuck, dude. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Now I'm like, no. | ||
| Listen, listen, dude. | ||
| I know it's uncomfortable and you want to be all underground and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Famous dude is Ben Affleck. | ||
| I have stood beside Ben Affleck and that's fucking famous. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| G-Money, that's ridiculous superstardom. | ||
| You're not that, but you're famous as fuck. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| You're famous as fuck. | ||
| Everyone I know knows who you are. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You can't be silly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah, don't be silly. | ||
| I know you want to be humble, but you're being silly. | ||
| You're famous as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think most people go, oh, he looks familiar, but I don't think people know. | ||
| If they know your name, then you're famous as fuck. | ||
| I don't think anybody knows. | ||
| I think my name is easy to forget. | ||
| You're cute. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| No, come on, dude. | ||
| It's not a recognizable name. | ||
| You're out of your mind. | ||
| I bet my mom knows who you are. | ||
| Dude, so many people in this life go, oh, I love you on fucking King of Queens, Kevin James. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| To me. | ||
| Okay, but that's retards. | ||
| You're going to get retards no matter where you go. | ||
| They're unavoidable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| You can't factor them into the equation. | ||
| You get hit by a random asteroid. | ||
| That's what that is when someone comes up to you and calls you Kevin James. | ||
| That's just a rare, rare meteorite. | ||
| It has happened on too many occasions for me to feel comfortable with. | ||
| Well, you know, I fuck up with people's names, too. | ||
| I'm always confusing one person with another person. | ||
| I go, oh, yeah, shit. | ||
| You know, but that's not... | ||
| I'm literally still dying inside because I was thinking, oh, my God, it was our wardrobe person's name, Beth. | ||
| And I almost said Beth Pasternak, and I'm like, is that her name? | ||
| Remember, you're like, are you two-stone? | ||
| I wouldn't call it two-stone. | ||
| Just stoned enough. | ||
| If you're going to commit to a lifestyle, you give up on short-term a lot, where you're just like, I'm going to need help. | ||
| I do that a lot. | ||
| I don't know if you ever do this on stage, but I tell such long, fucking convoluted stories that invariably, once, twice per night now, I'll be in the middle of something and just be like, I don't freeze, I don't get scared anymore, but I just literally go, what the fuck was I talking about? | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| And someone will be like, it was J.M.U.'s in a bathtub. | ||
| I'm like, oh yes, thank you. | ||
| Anyway, and boom, right back into it. | ||
| As long as they can help you out. | ||
| As long as they're there to help, but if not, dude, there are moments where you're just like, oh my god, like I was on the Tonight Show earlier, and I sat down to tape the Tonight Show, and I wasn't nearly stoned enough for that, you know? | ||
| I wish I'd been more stoned because I would have enjoyed it more. | ||
| The whole time I'm sitting there just thinking, like, I look fat on the show. | ||
| I know I look fat right now. | ||
| I know I look fat. | ||
| And in the midst of it, I did have those moments where I wasn't stoned, but I had a moment where I was like, what the hell? | ||
| When you're on The Tonight Show and you have one of those moments? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goddamn! | ||
| Luckily, I connected it quickly, but I love doing it on stage. | ||
| I used to be like, oh, you can't let people know. | ||
| And I'm like, let's be realistic. | ||
| Like, A, I'm 41. B, I'm in the middle of a fucking labyrinthine story to begin with. | ||
| There's so many moving parts. | ||
| And B, C, you throw some weed on top of that? | ||
| You know, every once in a while, maybe a gear is going to slip and you're going to forget a detail. | ||
| But as long as the audience is there to rescue you, it's all good. | ||
| I love the fact that you're honest about it. | ||
| There's a lot of people that aren't honest about the positive effects of it, and they treat it like it's a trivial thing. | ||
| One of the things that I was upset with Dr. Drew about, and I do really love Dr. Drew, but he's like, ah, you want to go smoke your weed, smoke your weed? | ||
| He's like, look, I'm not telling you not to do it. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| But it's dismissive about it being a positive thing. | ||
| It's always like, yeah, you want to go do whatever you want to do with your life. | ||
| I'm for free will. | ||
| I'm for you having a good time. | ||
| And if you want to ruin your thing and go right ahead, I'm for... | ||
| But that's not... | ||
| You're not taking into account all the people that talk about these amazingly positive benefits that they have from it. | ||
| And you're one of them. | ||
| You're always talking about... | ||
| Mind medicine, man. | ||
| And some people will be like, oh, is it fuel your creativity? | ||
| I say, no, quite the opposite. | ||
| I don't think I've ever gotten a new idea from weed that I wouldn't have had otherwise. | ||
| What weed allows you to do is chase the good idea. | ||
| Embrace it rather than let it go for fear that someone will judge it or for fear that it won't work or, hey, this hasn't been done yet. | ||
| So I find weed doesn't make me creative as much as it knocks down the inhibitions that block creativity. | ||
| Like the reason you don't go further on that cool idea because you're afraid it's going to be judged or it won't turn out or who will ever buy this or what am I thinking or I can't pull something like this off. | ||
| Weed, you could smoke away those inhibitions. | ||
| It's very important, man, no matter how long we're here, to push down all those, even the dopiest fucking fears, the things that you're like... | ||
| Anything that boxes you in. | ||
| Like you were talking about, people like to sometimes keep that box tighter and tighter than their eyes. | ||
| But it's more important to kind of understand why things happen. | ||
| Who invented it? | ||
| What makes it work, so to speak? | ||
| Get to the bottom of it. | ||
| And weed makes you more introspective. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| You start looking in. | ||
| You start thinking. | ||
| It creates time for me, and it creates time to think. | ||
| We have cannabinoid receptors in our brains to respond to THC. We know that human use of THC goes back at least 10,000 years. | ||
| We're constantly finding old mummies with bags of weed with them. | ||
| There's people that believe that it had some part of the evolution of language. | ||
| Explain, explain. | ||
| The idea of this cannabinoid receptors, right? | ||
| The idea that you've got receptors in your brain tuned in to give you, to tune in to exactly what this marijuana plant is giving you. | ||
| And only that. | ||
| They do nothing else but that. | ||
| Well, they also, I think cannabinoids can be fired up when you have that runner's high, too. | ||
| I think somehow or another that's very similar. | ||
| And you were the one telling me, I think it was when you were on the show, you were the one telling me, like, the drug that, or the brain kicks in with something when you're about to die, they say. | ||
| Well, they believe it. | ||
| It's called dimethyltryptamine. | ||
| It's produced by the liver, the lungs, and they believe it's produced by the pineal gland. | ||
| They're actually doing these super specific studies on this shit right now because throughout all Eastern mysticism, they've always talked about the third eye. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Everyone's seen that image, right? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Well, that is where the pineal gland rests, and it literally is an eyeball. | ||
| I know that from that H.P. Lovecraft movie, From Beyond. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They were going after the pineal gland. | ||
| A little fucking thing came out. | ||
| Well the crazy thing about that gland is that in certain reptiles it actually has a retina and a lens. | ||
| Like it's a fucking eyeball. | ||
| So it is an eyeball. | ||
| It is an eyeball. | ||
| And they believe that this is what they call the seat of the soul. | ||
| They believe it is the factory of the most potent naturally produced psychedelic chemicals. | ||
| We don't know exactly because you have to cut into the fucking brain like within 15 minutes of someone being dead to find it I think. | ||
| There's some crazy roadblock to finding out exactly what today's technology, where the DMT is being manufactured in the brain. | ||
| So they're trying to figure out and invent new technology to directly monitor it so they can absolutely prove it. | ||
| But even if they don't prove it, where it's manufactured, it's known that it exists in the body, it's known that it's produced by several different organs, and it is known that it's intensely psychedelic. | ||
| What I found comforting about that was The way you presented it was, in the moment that you are dying, your body knows it and sends it in doses. | ||
| Send me an angel. | ||
| Yes, bitch! | ||
| It just dopes you the fuck out. | ||
| The notion that my body is like, he ain't gonna handle this. | ||
| Chubby can't handle it. | ||
| He's going to need to shut down. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| And then the doors of perception open up like fucking giant exploding kaleidoscopes of insane light with no boundary. | ||
| And you get shot through a fucking tunnel just like a DMT trip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you get transported into the center of the universe. | |
| Don't give up the fight. | ||
| How many psychedelic experiences have you had? | ||
| Never. | ||
| I mean, explain. | ||
| Mushrooms? | ||
| No, don't do that. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| But you like weed. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| And I'm not even judgmental about it. | ||
| Like, I can't say people would do, but I've never done it. | ||
| I don't know if it would... | ||
| I don't know how I would handle that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, you have much to learn, Grasshopper. | |
| We're ready to straighten you out. | ||
| Terrence McKenna. | ||
| I don't know how high the building goes, but, like, the floor I'm on is frightening enough, but manageable. | ||
| I can't imagine what it's... | ||
| Well, 98, three years, you're just sort of coming to grips with the whole thing. | ||
| You know, that your life is greatly enhanced and far more fascinating when you're high. | ||
| And then you start thinking about, well, why aren't more people talking about the benefits of this incredible drug? | ||
| And why is it being demonized? | ||
| And you start processing it in your mind. | ||
| Mushrooms are that times a million. | ||
| And then DMT is mushrooms times a million plus aliens. | ||
| So that's what it is. | ||
| Does anyone not come back? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You gotta be a weak bitch, but you might get lost. | ||
| You just look at everything. | ||
| I'm not scared of the woods, bro. | ||
| I go out in the woods. | ||
| I go out in the woods to learn something about myself. | ||
| And that's what it is. | ||
| It's like every intense psychedelic experience is like what you're... | ||
| The benefits that you're getting from marijuana is like a slow IV drip. | ||
| This is like someone's sticking a fucking turkey baster up your asshole and shoving it. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Plunging it into your central nervous system. | ||
| Oh, you're scary. | ||
| Well, it's supposed to be scary because, as you said, when you heard that your father screamed to death, you only get one shot at this. | ||
| And that fear is the fear of losing control, which is absolutely inevitable. | ||
| You know it, I know it. | ||
| What the psychedelic experiences are like is like it allows you to almost go through a death experience several times. | ||
| Not to the point where you feel dead, but to the point where your whole view of the world is so shattered. | ||
| Your ego is so... | ||
| Your actual worth and your actual peace in this puzzle is made so clear, and it's so humbling, and it's so confusing, and it's so enlightening, and it's so encouraging, and it's so loving, and it's so frightening, all at the same time, all impossible to describe. | ||
| The images and the feeling you get literally probably are responsible for human evolution. | ||
| They're selling the game right now. | ||
| Terence McKenna believed that the reason... | ||
| And he had this documented down to climate change. | ||
| He believed that the reason why human beings evolved from other hominids is that they started experimenting with new food sources and eating psilocybin mushrooms. | ||
| And he has it all down to when the rainforest receded and became grasslands because of the climate change. | ||
| That's when the monkeys ran out of food. | ||
| And they started in grasslands. | ||
| It's not as rich as the rainforest. | ||
| So they had to fucking experiment with new food sources. | ||
| And that's when all these cows were walking around eating the grass. | ||
| Cows shit out the shit. | ||
| Shit grows mushrooms on them. | ||
| Monkeys eat the mushrooms. | ||
| Monkeys figure out all kinds of different shit. | ||
| Like language and coordination and how to make tools and how to fucking throw rocks at things and kill them. | ||
| Tools. | ||
| We were just on the other day. | ||
| You know somebody needs a tool? | ||
| No, but my wife told me this story. | ||
| They fucking captured my imagination, which is kind of right up this alley. | ||
| Did you see this dolphin story about the cock shells? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, they use them to fish? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yeah, I did hear about that. | ||
| How fucking spellbinding is that? | ||
| These dolphins are taking these cock shells, which, that was the second most surprising thing about the story to me. | ||
| There was a picture. | ||
| These cock shells are fucking huge. | ||
| I think of cock shells as being like this, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some of them are big, yeah. | |
| In any event, these dolphins, they found them like, they thought they used to go under the cock shells to fish out anything that wasn't living in their fish or what have you. | ||
| But they've discovered that they're using them as tools, as trapping tools. | ||
| Like using them to kind of herd fish and then cup them and then eat out of it. | ||
| So using them to capture and to dig. | ||
| And very specific. | ||
| Not just like, oh he's balancing a conch shell. | ||
| They're using it. | ||
| They're figuring tools out. | ||
| How do dolphins get so fucking smart without thumbs? | ||
| It's really interesting when you think about it. | ||
| There's no refrigerators in the ocean. | ||
| You don't have to open doors. | ||
| But they're supposed to be really intelligent. | ||
| We don't exactly know how intelligent some people... | ||
| Because I think their cerebral cortex is some large percentage larger than a human being. | ||
| Something like 40% larger than a human being. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So what would that mean? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what it means. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| I think they just have, like, such a different world as far as their coordination and their physical movement. | ||
| And, like, Neanderthal had a bigger brain than a human being. | ||
| And they were dumber than us, for sure. | ||
| But they needed a bigger brain to operate that fucking ridiculous body. | ||
| Like, Neanderthals were very different than people. | ||
| They were 5'2", 200 pounds of solid muscle and bone. | ||
| They were these big, like, half-chimp people. | ||
| You know, like, if you look at, like, drawings of Neanderthals, like, they don't really resemble... | ||
| I mean, they do, but they don't. | ||
| You know, they look clearly different. | ||
| They're standing upright, kind of. | ||
| They would have fucked us up. | ||
| If it was just one-on-one brawls between Neanderthals and people, most likely the Neanderthals would have fucked us up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some serious genetic... | ||
| What was I talking about? | ||
| What did I talk about? | ||
| That's what it sounds like. | ||
| Yeah, what was I talking about? | ||
| You were talking about Neanderthal man, big brain. | ||
| Needed big brain to operate that big body. | ||
| Oh, so if dolphins' brains are larger, it could be just to operate that incredible body they have. | ||
| You just hit a pothole, my friend. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Thank you for rescuing me. | ||
| I was there to save you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And that's the beautiful thing about letting the audience know that you're high. | ||
| When you do those Q&As, do you let them know, listen, I just need you as a net. | ||
| The nice thing about always talking about being stoned is people just assume that at all times you are. | ||
| So there's a nice blanket for everything. | ||
| Did you ever get to the point when you first started getting high where you got too high and you got really paranoid? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Well, not paranoid. | ||
| Did you almost quit? | ||
| No, not quit, but I thought I died one night. | ||
| I thought I was going to die. | ||
| I got really stoned with my friend, Jim Jackman, and he came over and we were out on the deck at my house. | ||
| Night out stars and shit sitting there smoking. | ||
| And I had already smoked before he got there and then he came and I was like, I'll smoke another one. | ||
| This is in the days before I would smoke that much. | ||
| So two joints within the span of like, what, an hour and a half or something like that. | ||
| And by the time I got to burn down to the bottom of the second one, I was like, really, really, really, really, really fucked up. | ||
| And I kept telling him, I was like, I think this is it, dude. | ||
| I gotta lay down. | ||
| Like, I think my heart might stop tonight. | ||
| And he's like, you want me to do anything? | ||
| I was like, no, let me just lay down. | ||
| And I laid down next to the pool, just on the deck, looking up at the stars. | ||
| And I was like, I'm too high. | ||
| Dangerously high. | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| I'd never really experienced that again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think it was? | |
| Baboon Heart. | ||
| What was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Baboon Heart. | |
| The movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Baboon Heart. | ||
| Is that what I have? | ||
| My mother never told me? | ||
| He's a silly boy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do I get to fuck Marissa Tomei as well? | |
| Was that what it was? | ||
| The boy had a baboon heart? | ||
| Yeah, he had a bad heart and his parents told him he had a baboon heart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They told him he had a baboon heart. | |
| Those rookie highs, you don't really achieve those rookie highs once you get a tolerance. | ||
| Those rookie highs are like getting shot into the center of the universe. | ||
| Chris McGuire, when we got Chris McGuire high one night behind the comedy story, do you remember this story? | ||
| You were there with me. | ||
| Chris is a buddy of mine from way back who never gets high. | ||
| He's a comic and usually has a couple of beers. | ||
| He'll get high if you force him to. | ||
| All right, I'll take a hit of this. | ||
| He was a stone-cold rookie, and he took two hits. | ||
| It was probably Trainwreck, because that's all we ever smoked. | ||
| This ridiculous super space philosopher weed. | ||
| And then I came back to him like 20 minutes later. | ||
| He goes, I got a problem. | ||
| I got a real problem here. | ||
| He goes, this is not weed. | ||
| Somebody put something in this, man. | ||
| Somebody put something in this. | ||
| I'm telling you, this is not pot. | ||
| I've been hiding before. | ||
| This is not pot. | ||
| This is serious, man. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Somebody put something in this. | ||
| I'm like, no, dude, dude, dude, dude. | ||
| The weed's that good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The weed's that good. | ||
| And he's like, no way. | ||
| That can't be real. | ||
| He didn't believe it. | ||
| He didn't believe it. | ||
| Because that rookie high, that rookie high is terrifying. | ||
| I mean, you might as well be on ecstasy. | ||
| It was pretty intense. | ||
| I can't say that I miss it, though. | ||
| Like, I enjoy, you know, I never feel, I always say, I don't get stoned. | ||
| That's for teenagers. | ||
| I get centered. | ||
| I enjoy where I get now. | ||
| Great place. | ||
| Great for conversation. | ||
| Great for, like I said, knocking over the inhibitions and whatnot. | ||
| I'm not quite, I don't know if I'm ready to open the third eye, but if anyone sold me closer to it, it's you. | ||
| You don't need to do it. | ||
| Nobody needs to do anything, man. | ||
| That's all nonsense. | ||
| You can find your own place without doing it. | ||
| But you can give it a shot, but it sounds appetizing. | ||
| I mean, it's like, look, I am something of a journeyer now, and at the end of the day, it's not that far removed. | ||
| We're not talking, it's not you going like, you should do some bumps and fucking rails, dude. | ||
| You're talking about another thing that's very close to what I'm doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I 100% recommend mushrooms. | |
| It's very much the same as what you're doing. | ||
| It's all the same thing. | ||
| It's forcing you to be... | ||
| Can you put it in a shake? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I make an orange kind of juice thing where you grind it up into an orange. | |
| If you want to eat it, it gets really crazy because it lasts for like six hours. | ||
| It's like a slow DMT release. | ||
| What do you do with it instead? | ||
| You can't eat it, though. | ||
| If you eat it, you have to eat it with an MAO inhibitor, and you've got to know something else how to brew that correctly. | ||
| You can't eat it. | ||
| When you take it in orally, you see, DMT exists apparently in so many different plants that our body has a built-in defense mechanism for it. | ||
| It's called monoamine oxidase. | ||
| So when you eat something, like say if you eat grass that has DMT in it, sheep, if they eat that grass, will die. | ||
| It's really kind of crazy. | ||
| Like, sheep, if they eat grass that has DMT in it, they just fucking fall on their back and stick their legs up and they tremble in the air. | ||
| It's really kind of nutty. | ||
| But human beings have figured out a way to process it in our stomachs, and that's what this monoamine oxidase is. | ||
| That's why we can eat it in so many different plants, but yet it's not psychoactive. | ||
| Well, these guys in the Amazon, they figured out a way to make it psychoactive when you eat it by combining this This is a plant that has this one drug with an MAO inhibitor, so it kills the monoamine oxidase in your stomach, and it allows your stomach to absorb this drug directly. | ||
| So you have to take something in order to take something? | ||
| And you're going to puke, and you're going to be in the jungle, there's no refrigerators. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| This is all bad. | ||
| It's a big step. | ||
| It's a big step. | ||
| You've got to be a real seeker if you want to do this. | ||
| Wait, I thought we were talking about mushrooms. | ||
| You're selling me on some fucking, like... | ||
| That's the oral DMT. Some mosquito co-shit. | ||
| That's the oral DMT. What do you mean, oral DMT? Do mushrooms first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't even go... | |
| Well, wait. | ||
| Mushroom you chew, right? | ||
| Yeah, you just need a little mushrooms, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or you can make it interesting. | |
| Your first trip, don't get crazy. | ||
| But you could put... | ||
| Could I make, like, a strawberry milkshake with a mushroom in it? | ||
| You could eat it with applesauce. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Will it be the same effect? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, it won't be like, you ruined it. | ||
| You really shouldn't have food in your stomach, but as long as that is the only food, it'll probably diminish the effects very slightly, but ultimately it's all going to get into your bloodstream. | ||
| Scott, did you ever have a bad trip? | ||
| Bad trips are actually, it doesn't seem like it at the time, but they're actually almost all beneficial. | ||
| As long as you don't go completely crazy, what you learn from a bad trip is that you've got some issues, man. | ||
| You've got some shit that's bugging you. | ||
| You've got some imbalances in your mind and you're not focusing on them. | ||
| That's usually what it is. | ||
| My heart is racing, right? | ||
| Nightmarish form. | ||
| It comes up in nightmarish clarity. | ||
| That's what psychedelic experiences really do. | ||
| When you have something that's really fucking with you, it's such a primary focus inside your mind that when you open up these doors to psychedelic dimensions, your mind is going to grab that shit and shove it in your face and go, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Why are you hiding this from me? | ||
| Why don't you get this shit out of the way? | ||
| Why do you think Oscar De La Hoya came clean and said that he was wearing women's underwear in those photos and it was real? | ||
| Because every night that the fucking truth is knocking him on the head, dude, you were in chick's underwear, just fucking say it! | ||
| I can't! | ||
| He can't! | ||
| I can't! | ||
| Tossing and sweating. | ||
| If he ate a pot brownie, he would have been forced to admit it, like, right away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It just strips you down. | |
| Strips you down. | ||
| You have a strong mushroom trip, man. | ||
| It strips you down. | ||
| You see what they describe as the wiring under the board. | ||
| You see things in a different perspective. | ||
| It's an impossible perspective. | ||
| First of all, it shouldn't exist. | ||
| And second of all, it shouldn't be so easy to get to. | ||
| All you have to do is eat this stuff. | ||
| You eat this stuff and wait an hour and 20 minutes, and all of a sudden you're literally in an impossible described different world that shouldn't exist. | ||
| It can't be real because it violates everything you know about life. | ||
| When you're closing your eyes, everywhere you look is something more and more impossible, and there's information coming at you, all the answers to all the world's problems, but it's like slippery fish, and you're standing in a river, and you can't Fucking hold on to many of it. | ||
| There's just too many fucking fish coming your way, man. | ||
| And there's the water and the information is hitting you like the fucking river. | ||
| You're selling the game. | ||
| You're selling the game. | ||
| It's not for everybody, but it's for you. | ||
| That's what I would say. | ||
| It's not for everybody, but it's for you. | ||
| There's great men who have learned incredible things from psychedelic trips. | ||
| And there's a guy named Graham Hancock who's going to be doing the podcast soon. | ||
| He contacted me in an email. | ||
| I just emailed him back. | ||
| And he's this genius writer who wrote these fascinating books about ancient human history called Fingerprints of the Gods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's all about these ancient structures that point to the very plausible idea that the human race has been around way longer than we like to think and that civilization has had peaks and valleys where we were almost wiped out and we had to rebuild anew. | ||
| It's kind of like what you were talking about before, like, return to the cities and be like, where did these buildings come from? | ||
| Sure, but in his case, it was more of like, I think what he, they're mostly pointing towards giant cataclysmic disasters that have, you know, all but wiped out a huge percentage of the human race, and then people have to start all over again. | ||
| I mean, the concept of what if today, okay, 2011. Like the Matrix, like the third Matrix movie, where Was that it? | ||
| Was that what happened in the third Matrix? | ||
| In the third Matrix, they were like, this is, you know, permutation of a fucking equation. | ||
| Essentially, the message was, this happened, this is the 16th time we've done this. | ||
| Like, we keep putting you guys into the Matrix. | ||
| I think that's based on the yuga. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's based on an ancient Hindu system, or it's an Indian system. | ||
| I don't know the full thing. | ||
| Our friend Duncan's an expert in this shit. | ||
| But the way he explained it to me is that this is Kali Yuga. | ||
| And the Kali Yuga is the most chaotic... | ||
| The next stage of the human existence, and we have this normal, natural progression from sensible to wild to crazy to completely out of control, which is where we are now, until the next stage is some sort of an enlightenment, some sort of a learning from this, some sort of a next passage that goes through, and that the idea is that humanity is in this continuous cycle. | ||
| And that it's, you know, we like to think of ourselves as having a direct linear projection from monkey to human being in 2011. But in fact, it may have hit this peak thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago and then been shut down by some horrible disaster that killed almost everybody. | ||
| And that almost everybody forgets about it because you kill like half the fucking people. | ||
| And man, you know, good luck. | ||
| Good luck piecing things together, writing things down. | ||
| You know, paper gets... | ||
| Disappears. | ||
| They burned the library of Alexandria. | ||
| They lost all the records for Egypt. | ||
| Everything they have left is just shit carved in snow, or carved in stone, rather. | ||
| It's like, you know, you want to really get the full history of the human race. | ||
| It's really complicated. | ||
| It's like, we don't really know what happened 10,000 years ago. | ||
| We don't really know what happened 15, 20,000. | ||
| And in the course of the universe, or the course of the life of this planet, that's a It's almost like as a race, we have woken up at a certain level where we started writing things down. | ||
| We'll call it a thousand years ago, whatever the fuck it was, where people really started writing things down. | ||
| It's almost like we're just slowly piecing this fucking thing together as it's moving. | ||
| It's moving in a direction. | ||
| People are just starting to write things down. | ||
| Okay, this is what happens and this and this and this. | ||
| Then the next people come along and they go, okay, they already figured this out. | ||
| Okay, what else can we figure out? | ||
| Then we've got to figure this out. | ||
| And they're all moving along as life is moving. | ||
| Constantly trying to re-add to this fucking pile of awakening. | ||
| To try to describe this life that we're just born in the middle of, mid-momentum. | ||
| Hit the ground running. | ||
| As soon as you could walk, you'd go off to school and you're a fucking cog in the wheel. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And very little time to sit down and think about what the fuck it really is. | ||
| I like the notion of it's all occurring. | ||
| We're waking up. | ||
| The renaissance of sorts. | ||
| Somebody writing it down. | ||
| Number one, I thought that was really sweet. | ||
| But number two, the notion of doing that while you're moving forward still. | ||
| You can't stop time and tell people, like, wait. | ||
| Let me catch up and write everything down so far. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you'd have to start fucking swimming. | ||
| You're absolutely right. | ||
| That was kind of evocative. | ||
| That was a really beautiful image. | ||
| Well done. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| I'm a writer. | ||
| I appreciate some good words, man. | ||
| It was well done. | ||
| You took me right fucking there. | ||
| You sold the game. | ||
| I mean, but that is what we're doing, right? | ||
| Yeah, we try. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Boy, now you're making me think a lot. | ||
| It's moving in a direction. | ||
| If you just look at the idea that we're constantly creating new things, constantly trying to improve on the technology, it's going to reach some fucking nutty point sometime in the future. | ||
| Machines take over. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ray Kurzweil, he's one of those futurists that believes in it. | ||
| There's a lot of other guys who have a very unrosy prediction. | ||
| There's a lot of people that think that we have been so desensitized by the Terminator being a movie that we think it's silly. | ||
| That we don't recognize that this is a fucking real problem. | ||
| That Skynet could be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| What are we thinking that we're going to create something that's going to have autonomy? | ||
| We're going to want to know if it can turn itself on. | ||
| We're going to want to figure that out. | ||
| We're going to want to know if we can make something that can repair itself. | ||
| We're going to want to know if we can make something that can clone itself. | ||
| Given enough time with human beings munking around with shit, we're eventually going to hit that point, man. | ||
| You're talking about singularity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It's inevitable, it seems. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| In our lifetime. | ||
| It's a captivating notion. | ||
| I read the, I forget either, Time or Newsweek did a wonderful article on it, but the way they described it, I thought it was very evocative in as much as they said, Think about how, like, the first computer, you know, filled a couple rooms, and its equating power wasn't even a tenth of what your phone can do right now. | ||
| And that was going back to, what, how many years ago was that? | ||
| 50, 60 years ago? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, in that piece, they said, imagine... | ||
| What's going to be in 30 years from now, from this moment. | ||
| They're like, this won't exist. | ||
| The phone, the computer, the piece. | ||
| I mean, Steve Jobs said it himself a couple months back when he was talking about doing the cloud. | ||
| He's like, the hardware is not the soul anymore. | ||
| It's just a conduit and whatnot. | ||
| It's not going to be ringtones. | ||
| You know what the future's going to be? | ||
| You're going to be able to talk to each other. | ||
| I'm going to be able to go, dude, where are you? | ||
| And people are going to get upset if you don't let them do that. | ||
| Like girls are going to get upset. | ||
| Why can't I just talk to you whenever I want to talk to you? | ||
| What, like shining? | ||
| Yeah, like you want the fucking cell phone. | ||
| You want the ring. | ||
| You want a ring so you can look at it and decide whether or not to answer. | ||
| But if someone can make the cell phone ring, like instant communication. | ||
| I thought you were saying, like, in the future, we won't need phones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll talk to each other. | |
| Yeah, I could just be like, hey, what's up, Kevin? | ||
| It might not even have to be a phone. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It might not even have to be a phone, but I think initially it's going to start out with ringtones. | ||
| The first thing that's going to be the dam is going to break is instead of a ringtone, why can't they set it up so I can talk to you in the ringtone? | ||
| Hey, Kevin, it's me, Joe. | ||
| Pick up the phone, dude. | ||
| This is fucking super important. | ||
| I hate to be bugging you, but pick up the phone. | ||
| Almost like an answering machine. | ||
| Like a pre-ring. | ||
| That's what you're hearing when the phone rings. | ||
| You're hearing your friends say, dude, pick up the fucking phone right now. | ||
| Almost like old school answering machine. | ||
| You know, that would be the first option. | ||
| And people would get that because they'll say, Honey, what if it's an emergency and some shit goes down and I need to get in touch with you? | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then people are going, What the fuck? | ||
| Where are you, bitch? | ||
| I'm fucking calling you right now. | ||
| I'm going to keep calling you. | ||
| You're with that fucking dude. | ||
| And you'll be able to harass that person, literally yell at them until they shut their fucking phone off. | ||
| That would be step one. | ||
| And then eventually there will be no more phone. | ||
| They're going to figure out some way, whether it's a neural implant or, you know. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's neural implants. | ||
| They were implying 30 years from now the phone will be insertable into your head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| And it'll be tiny. | ||
| It'll be like this. | ||
| And there's that material. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| It's the shit that's like as thin as saran wrap. | ||
| Fiber optics? | ||
| I don't know if that's it. | ||
| It's this new material. | ||
| It's about thin as a... | ||
| It probably can't be that new. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Fiber optics is old as fuck. | ||
| I don't think it's this. | ||
| I'm talking to myself. | ||
| It's thin. | ||
| They showed a piece of it. | ||
| Looks like a piece of saran wrap. | ||
| But the strength of it is like fucking concrete. | ||
| Like 16 layers of concrete. | ||
| And they're saying it also has foldability. | ||
| So you can roll it up and bundle it up. | ||
| And it's also made of sand or whatever. | ||
| You know, fucking silicon. | ||
| So it's conductive. | ||
| So they're saying... | ||
| Imagine you had... | ||
| Alright, like this. | ||
| Yeah, this looks kind of... | ||
| I don't know what these are, but... | ||
| These ties. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I want to smell it. | ||
| If you had this... | ||
| And you could do this with it, or you could just roll it up real tight and stick it in your ear. | ||
| This would be your phone. | ||
| They're like, shape is no longer a problem. | ||
| This is the material. | ||
| It's like when you watch the fucking Batman Begins. | ||
| He's got that memory cloth for the cape where he puts a little electric charge to it and it tightens. | ||
| Same thing here. | ||
| You don't need to tighten it. | ||
| They're like, it's all flexible. | ||
| Everything, all the conductors are inside, so it'll do exactly what it needs to do. | ||
| Don't they have that for... | ||
| Armor for motorcycle riders now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think they have some shit when you hit the ground, the impact flattens it out. | ||
| It makes it hard. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if that's in testing or if that's actually for sale. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that's testing. | |
| I saw that video. | ||
| But one of the things they've come out recently with, and I know a lot of people say, Man, you guys always talk about the fucking singularity. | ||
| I'm tired of hearing this. | ||
| That's like the number one complaint in the podcast. | ||
| And I admit it. | ||
| Because I fucking drone on about it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I really do think about it every day. | ||
| And when I see things like this. | ||
| Okay, look. | ||
| Artificial skin made from spider silk. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Bulletproof. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Dude, I'm going to get bulletproof skin. | ||
| It's going to be awesome. | ||
| I can't wait until this is legal. | ||
| I'm going to get a full body. | ||
| They're going to skin me. | ||
| They're going to try to keep me alive while they skin me. | ||
| And then they replace your skin with bulletproof spider silk skin. | ||
| How crazy is it? | ||
| How many people are going to sign up for that? | ||
| You don't want to be an early adoptee. | ||
| It's like fake lips. | ||
| Read the ingredients, dude. | ||
| Wait until they get that shit down, you know? | ||
| You don't want to have fucking big stitches under your armpits. | ||
| Yeah, they left giant fucking scars, dude. | ||
| I like my new skin. | ||
| It's bulletproof and everything, but I fucking hate the scars. | ||
| Read how they make it, dude. | ||
| It's goat's milk. | ||
| They put this enzyme or they... | ||
| They fucked with the genetics, the DNA, if you will. | ||
| It's amazing, man. | ||
| Of this weird... | ||
| Goat's milk made it more like spiders. | ||
| So whatever they milk out of the goat, they spin into this fucking hard-ass substance. | ||
| Five times stronger than Kevlar. | ||
| How dope is nature? | ||
| This crazy little giant little fucking insect thing with this weird abdomen produces this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| There was a line in this great Batman, well it was a Swamp Thing issue that Batman was in years ago that Alan Moore wrote. | ||
| Where Swamp Thing, you know, he's an elemental. | ||
| He's got the power of nature on his side and whatnot. | ||
| Big Swamp Thing fan back in the Dizze. | ||
| So he attacks Gotham. | ||
| They have his woman. | ||
| They've tied up Abby Arcane. | ||
| They've kept her in jail. | ||
| They've arrested her because she's cohabitated with a vegetative humanoid. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, the Swamp Thing. | ||
| And so they put her in jail. | ||
| She was supposed to be arrested in Houma and they arrest her in Gotham instead. | ||
| And Swamp Thing is like, we want her released. | ||
| And they were like, we can't. | ||
| She's, you know, she committed a crime. | ||
| She's going to be healthier on trial and whatnot. | ||
| And Swamp Thing slowly takes over Gotham. | ||
| He warns them. | ||
| He appears from... | ||
| He can make himself, as you know, out of any vegetative material whatsoever. | ||
| Turns into a giant head and is just like, release the woman or I will take the city. | ||
| They end the one issue, part one, of you see Gotham start falling into jungle. | ||
| He just over-vegetates everything and people just go back to fucking nature. | ||
| He takes the city and turns it back into the jungle in the last panel. | ||
| There's a high view of all this, of course, and standing on a gargoyle is the one motherfucker who does not want anything to go back to the jungle. | ||
| And it's Batman. | ||
| Powerful fucking book. | ||
| But at one point, second issue, Swamp Thing has this line where he goes just like, if nature but shrugged, you'd all be gone, or something very powerful like that. | ||
| But it's the if nature but shrugged line that always got me. | ||
| Because he was talking about... | ||
| We think we command everything. | ||
| We think we've mastered shit. | ||
| We know what we're doing, but it's just like you talked about before, a cataclysmic event that wipes out half the planet or something like that. | ||
| That's if nature but shrugs. | ||
| It happens out here. | ||
| You know, when we feel the tremors, the earthquakes, we're reminded all the time that surface fleas, as George Carlin described us. | ||
| But when you see nature going crazy with the weather and whatnot, you start sitting there going, Oh, like, do you remember that George Carlin bit where he talked about how the planet's fine? | ||
| The people are fucked. | ||
| I mean, it's a legendary bit, but yeah, you know, he starts theorizing on like the planet, trying to pick us off with disease and shit like that. | ||
| And you start... | ||
| Every time I see a natural disaster, it's all I can think about. | ||
| It's just like the planet's after us again. | ||
| They found the world's largest pyramid by volume in Guatemala. | ||
| Apparently they found it a couple years ago. | ||
| It's enormous by volume. | ||
| It's like a ziggurat? | ||
| Or is it a pyramid? | ||
| It's like a Mayan pyramid. | ||
| You know, the Mayan pyramids, they weren't smooth like the Egyptian pyramids, but they all went into that same shape, essentially. | ||
| Well, they found it in Guatemala, covered in jungle. | ||
| I mean, this is just a totally lost, amazing civilization covered in jungle. | ||
| And they think there might be thousands of these. | ||
| Thousands of these all throughout South America. | ||
| Thousands of lost temples and pyramids, this incredible civilization that existed that made these immense structures in a place that's so nuts that the jungle just overgrew everything to the point where they thought it was a mountain. | ||
| They thought it was a mountain and they start excavating it and find out it's the biggest fucking pyramid by volume on earth. | ||
| When did this happen? | ||
| 2009, apparently. | ||
| They had it on CNN. Somebody just posted it recently and I tweeted it. | ||
| It says, the thing on YouTube is world's largest pyramid discovered. | ||
| They lost this whole thing, man. | ||
| People had moved out of there so much to the point where there was nothing living there. | ||
| It was just trees and the whole thing just filled with grass and trees and someone had to come along thousands of years later and kick something over and go, what's this? | ||
| Dig a little hole. | ||
| Hey man, this is a brick. | ||
| Hey, bring over a shovel. | ||
| And the next thing you know, they're like, what the fuck is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You maniacs. | |
| And they start slowly taking away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You blew it up. | |
| Do you imagine what that experience must be like of finding something like this? | ||
| That'd be phenomenal. | ||
| I mean, well, it's the opposite of whatever Geraldo Rivera felt when he opened up Al Capone's vault and was like, nothing. | ||
| There's nothing in here. | ||
| But the shock that this could be left behind, the shock that this is, you know, thousands of years ago, we can't even really wrap our heads around that. | ||
| They built this shit and then it all went bad and the fucking jungle overtook the land. | ||
| Do you go to Atlantis? | ||
| Do you go as far back as Atlantis or no? | ||
| Do I believe in Atlantis? | ||
| Well, there's some archaeologists that believe they found it off of Spain. | ||
| In fact, they have concentric rings that they've found in a satellite view of the ocean. | ||
| Somehow or another, they can see the topography of the ocean from space. | ||
| And in this satellite view, they found this place that literally matches the geography, matches the area that it would be, matches the local layer, matches, you know, there's folk layer that is attached to it, you know, that you could be attributed to history, you know, you could say it's actual history. | ||
| So they believe that they have found Atlantis. | ||
| And what had happened to it? | ||
| This place was also very subject to tsunamis. | ||
| It's had many tsunamis before. | ||
| And they think that's most likely what happened. | ||
| Was that, you know, these people lived on a part of the sea. | ||
| They had an advanced civilization. | ||
| It got really prosperous. | ||
| But they weren't aware yet of tsunamis along those lines. | ||
| Like, if you go a few thousand years without a tsunami, it's not unheard of. | ||
| The blink of a word. | ||
| The world doesn't... | ||
| What hasn't happened in a few thousand years that we're unaware of and suddenly is going to happen again? | ||
| Well, especially on the West Coast, man. | ||
| I mean, we know that some big ones have hit, I believe, up as far north as like Seattle and Portland, Oregon. | ||
| Like hundreds of years ago, that place got fucked up by tsunamis. | ||
| It's real possible. | ||
| I mean, the ocean is gigantic and it's right there. | ||
| But if... | ||
| My point is that if a few hundred years go by and there's no tsunami, that's not unusual. | ||
| So if this civilization was allowed to prosper and grow in a few hundred years, it could have been super advanced. | ||
| We know that they could do a bunch of things back in, you know, 10,000 plus years ago that we didn't think they could do. | ||
| And we're more and more figuring out as time goes on that they might have been way more advanced than we ever gave them credit for. | ||
| They might have even had telescopes. | ||
| There's people that believe that they found lenses that they could attribute to being ground down. | ||
| And some say that they're not strong enough to actually work as a telescope, but it could have been one of many. | ||
| They could have evolved it. | ||
| If they came up with this initial idea and you found a bad version of it, just the fact that they had figured out that they could make something out of crystal and look through it, that's some pretty advanced shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What are you looking for? | ||
| What are you doing with that? | ||
| You sure that's just ornamental? | ||
| Were they making telescopes? | ||
| Were they making microscopes? | ||
| What the fuck were they doing? | ||
| How much is left? | ||
| They're examining. | ||
| And the unexamined life is not worth living, so they're philosophical people. | ||
| They were looking for answers. | ||
| So it wasn't enough to just be like, feed me, give me sex. | ||
| It was enough to be like, I want to look beyond our world or deeper into our world. | ||
| And a totally different way they did it from the way we did it. | ||
| We have this whole petrochemical way of viewing the world, and we think that's the only way to do it. | ||
| And it may not be. | ||
| It may be that there are some civilizations that have reached some staggering heights without the use of that, and we just don't know how the fuck they did it. | ||
| We don't know how they moved a lot of the great stones to make giant structures throughout history. | ||
| That's this guy Graham Hancock. | ||
| That's like his specialty on this thing. | ||
| And he wrote a book called Supernatural all about his experiences with this ayahuasca, this drinking this brew, and all his experiences with psychedelics and how empowering they've been to him and how he believes that it's very likely that they are the source of human culture and human knowledge and human growth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It started there. | |
| Source of self-awareness that it probably started with psychedelic experiences. | ||
| And he's not the only one to say this. | ||
| McKenna believed it, as I said before, and a lot of people echo it. | ||
| But I just think... | ||
| I think everyone who's creative, everyone who is an artist, everyone who is a thinker, you deserve to go through an experience with someone who knows what they're doing. | ||
| That's why it should be legal, and there should be shamans, and there should be someone who runs a center that can evaluate whether or not, first of all, you're psychologically capable of handling such an experience, but give you the proper dosage, give you supervision. | ||
| It should be something that people encourage because it makes you a better person. | ||
| Back in the day... | ||
| That person existed. | ||
| He was the medicine man or she was the medicine man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shaman. | |
| Exist in the Amazon right now. | ||
| The guys that make the ayahuasca. | ||
| Well, I guess there's no money in shamanism. | ||
| Is that why? | ||
| It's too tricky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, there's no money in it. | |
| And if there was money, they'd put you in jail. | ||
| If you started getting money for being a shaman, they'll fucking lock you up. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Shaman what? | ||
| What are you giving these fucking people? | ||
| Lock them up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shaman? | |
| Check his house. | ||
| Shaman. | ||
| Yeah, I guess you can't practice medicine, especially holistic medicine. | ||
| They get weird. | ||
| First of all, I guarantee you, on Twitter tonight, you will be getting thousands of people telling you to do mushrooms. | ||
| Yeah, no doubt. | ||
| That's going to happen. | ||
| I'm telling you, look, I'm 41, you've got me a lot closer than anybody else. | ||
| And my wife, who I've been married to and fucking for 12 and respectively, 13 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, I get laid, everybody. | |
| She told me years ago, she's like, you would really love mushrooms. | ||
| I can't believe you've never done mushrooms. | ||
| She's like, we should get mushrooms and do them together one day. | ||
| I said, no, I don't think I can. | ||
| You're a very unusual thinker, and I think it would only aid in your thought process. | ||
| It'd be fascinating. | ||
| You're so down-to-earth as it is, dude. | ||
| You're such a normal guy. | ||
| I don't know how you managed to navigate the entire system. | ||
| And you're in the movie system, which I think is even more ridiculous than my system. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, I'm in the fringes. | ||
| I'm in sports commentary and stand-up comedy. | ||
| And occasionally Fear Factor. | ||
| I'm fringed. | ||
| You're deep into the belly of bullshit. | ||
| But I stay on the fringe of it. | ||
| But it's amazing that you've been able to do that. | ||
| It's amazing you've been able to work with A-list actors. | ||
| You just have to give up ego, and you have to be willing to accept less. | ||
| You've got to manage your expectations. | ||
| Something I learned by being with my wife all these years. | ||
| This was a chick who didn't want to marry a fat guy, but she met one who she really liked. | ||
| He is good in all other ways except for that one. | ||
| She managed her expectations, and it all worked out for her. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I can deal with that, but the rest of the package is good. | ||
| You manage your expectations and you can do that sort of thing. | ||
| So for me, I always try to keep the ego in check, manage the expectations. | ||
| Expectations in this business are everyone should be paying attention to me, I should be at the epicenter of everything and I'm what's hot and blah blah blah. | ||
| And I've always accepted the fact that that was never going to be me, so I was always content to just dwell out here on the fringes. | ||
| And when you're out here on the fringes, I wouldn't say you're incorruptible, but People aren't that interested in corrupting you. | ||
| And you can also watch the corruption go on deep in the center of the bullshit, as you say. | ||
| And so while you're kind of not above it, but just outside of it, it's a lot easier to see it happening and stay away from it. | ||
| When you see a movie like Conan, do you go, oh, that must have been a mess to work on? | ||
| No, when I see it, I was just... | ||
| I mean, I didn't see it, but if I saw a movie like Conan, I would be like, oh man, could you imagine how many people put in so much time into this? | ||
| And then it didn't take off. | ||
| I see the expenses. | ||
| All I see now is the money. | ||
| I watch any movie and I'm just like, oh man. | ||
| The dude was a perfect Conan, too, though. | ||
| Could've done it, should've done it. | ||
| Why didn't that work? | ||
| Dude, I saw that trailer and I was just like, alright, I'm a huge fan of the Arnold Conan. | ||
| That was my Conan. | ||
| I wasn't aware they were making the Conan movie until I saw the trailer. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| Why would anyone bother? | ||
| And I watched it and I was like, oh, you know what? | ||
| This is a lot closer to the real Conan than fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan. | ||
| It was very close. | ||
| It just got stupid too many times. | ||
| It just lost. | ||
| It went off the track and into the woods too many times. | ||
| But the dude as a character was great. | ||
| He would have been an awesome Conan. | ||
| Under the right direction with the right script. | ||
| but I read something that the guy who made it wrote, and he talked about his original script and how it got butchered all the way. | ||
| And that makes sense. | ||
| When you see something so disjointed, so many parts of it were awesome. | ||
| Like the little kid in the beginning, that was fucking badass. | ||
| You didn't see it? | ||
| You're talking about the new Conan. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't see the new Conan. | ||
| Save it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But if you do see it, there's part... I'm a huge fan of the old Conan. | |
| Well, I'm a Robert E. Howard fan, man. | ||
| So you go back even deeper. | ||
| All right, so as a Howard fan, Did you see, what was that movie about him? | ||
| With Renee Zellweger and Vince D'Onofrio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| I bought that movie. | ||
| I have it in the back of my fucking shelf, my DVD shelf, and I've never watched it. | ||
| Something World, I forget. | ||
| But anyway, as a fan, as a Howard fan, did you like the Arnold Conan, or did you feel like... | ||
| Is it like reading The Shining book versus Kubrick's Shining movie? | ||
| It's like they cartoonified it, for sure. | ||
| Conan was much more ruthless and brutal and bloody, and it was way crazy. | ||
| They softened him, you feel? | ||
| Oh yeah, both of them. | ||
| Both of them softened him. | ||
| He was a compassionate guy and he always did the right thing, but he was fucking hacking heads off left and right. | ||
| He was just a barbarian making his way through magic and sorcery and monsters and fucking hordes of ogres. | ||
| They were just crazy ass fucking wild stories. | ||
| Robert E. Howard was a bad motherfucker, but he was ultimately crazy and wound up blowing his own brains out. | ||
| I think he was like 36 or something. | ||
| He was fairly young. | ||
| The World, that's the name of the movie, I think. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He killed himself. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He just was so into his fucking, his world of fantasy. | ||
| He was so good at it, but his real life just sucked, man. | ||
| His real life, he just was miserable. | ||
| He hated it. | ||
| And he made this character, whatever pain that he was going through in his real life, he poured it into this character being powerful. | ||
| There weren't just straight sci-fi fantasy books. | ||
| They were so consistent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, there were some great ones, man. | ||
| I fucking loved them. | ||
| You would buy them the paperbacks with the Frank Frazetta fucking oil paintings on the cover of them. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, I mean, those were books, man. | ||
| That was some amazing shit that I did. | ||
| Did you read the comics as well? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| One of my saddest moments of my life is when I was so poor, when I was a struggling comedian, that I had to sell all my comic books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| Which ones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Conans? | |
| I sold everything. | ||
| I sold my Spider-Mans, my Conans. | ||
| Mostly Marvel. | ||
| I had Marvel and then I had a lot of like creepy and eerie, you know, those independent magazines. | ||
| Would you make rent? | ||
| Just rent for a month? | ||
| Barely. | ||
| I probably got some food out of it. | ||
| I got 150 bucks for everything. | ||
| I mean, I'm talking years of collecting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The guy totally screwed me, but I needed the money. | |
| It's probably hard to sell, man. | ||
| You know, I mean, he's probably got to go through a lot. | ||
| He needs to make some money off of it. | ||
| I put together, we were trying to make Clerks. | ||
| I knew I was going to need money to make it. | ||
| And I was a big comic book fan. | ||
| I hadn't been collecting hardcore for that long. | ||
| It was more all modern age stuff. | ||
| I didn't go back and buy any gold or silver age. | ||
| But still, I did an evaluation of the collection, man. | ||
| It was like, I don't know, $20,000 and change or whatever. | ||
| $20,000 worth of comic books? | ||
| Based on the book value. | ||
| Book value. | ||
| So I said, okay, I'm going to go in the, yeah, of course, maybe over street. | ||
| I might have used on that point. | ||
| So I go, okay, this collection then, I'll sell it for $10,000. | ||
| And so I go to a bunch of comic book shows and a bunch of comic book dealers and stores, and this is 1991-92. | ||
| Let's say, no, 93-94. | ||
| No, 92-93. | ||
| 92. And I give them my full catalog of everything I have with all the prices next to it, all the guide prices, and then the wrap-up of $10,000. | ||
| And it's a collection that's worth more than that. | ||
| You can have it for $10,000. | ||
| And nobody, of course, bit. | ||
| The only people that bit was this comic book store in Middletown, which was called what? | ||
| Holy crap. | ||
| I'm getting old and I can't remember. | ||
| But in any event, they took... | ||
| They took my comics. | ||
| They gave me $2,000. | ||
| Wait for it. | ||
| In store credit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So what I would do is sell my store credit to my friend, Walt Flanagan. | ||
| I'd be like, you go in Comics Plus. | ||
| That's the name of the store. | ||
| You go in Comics Plus. | ||
| You buy $100 worth of comics. | ||
| Use my credit. | ||
| Then give me 80 bucks cash. | ||
| So he was always getting like 20% off. | ||
| So I wasn't even getting the full 2K. Wow. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| But it paid for clerks. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| It paid for a few bills that paid for clerks until Miramax picked clerks up and then there was that. | ||
| So, you know, I never felt bad letting go of a collection because it ultimately financed the thing that made everything else possible. | ||
| And then years later, you know, I always figured, like, if I want the books, I'd go back and get them. | ||
| And I collected the ones I did want again. | ||
| But then years later, I just bought a comic book store, and that was like buying an Insta collection. | ||
| You bought a comic book store? | ||
| Yeah, I got one in Red Bank, New Jersey, called Jane's on Bob's Secret Stash. | ||
| We had one out here in Westwood for a little while, but my friend got bored of running it, and then we wound up shattering it. | ||
| But the one back east has been open since, like, 97. That podcast, Tell Them Steve Dave, that my friend's got the show of on AMC, they record that at that comic book store. | ||
| How much better are comic books on weed? | ||
| I haven't really written... | ||
| I haven't read one yet. | ||
| I've written a bunch, and they're so much more fun to write on weed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you haven't read any since you've been smoking weed? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've been in a real non-audience mode for the last few years. | ||
| I don't read as much as I used to. | ||
| I don't watch TV as much as I used to. | ||
| You just create your own shit? | ||
| I've been on a real creation jag, and you know, it comes and goes, I think, in cycles. | ||
| The longer you stick around, the more you realize it. | ||
| Creatively fertile, like in the early part of my career, And then I get into career management, middle of the career, and perhaps not as fertile. | ||
| The ideas aren't as cool. | ||
| Maybe you start thinking more about like, well, I gotta eat. | ||
| I gotta make sure I got another job after this. | ||
| But now I'm back into a creatively fertile period where it's just like, let me try this, let me try this, let me try this. | ||
| You get a certain amount of respectability where you really do whatever you want. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| That's what you hit. | ||
| That's why I'm like, you're crazy to say that you're not famous. | ||
| It's the name. | ||
| I never thought about it. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It's all nonsense. | ||
| But what's important is that you're doing something very different. | ||
| The whole way you're doing it. | ||
| The way you're doing it with constantly putting out these podcasts. | ||
| Just doing a podcast like this, you realize how much of who you are you put out there. | ||
| You're putting it out there every day like that. | ||
| Think about how bottomless we are in terms of like, if you can, think about how many podcasts you've done. | ||
| Couple that with all this stand-up you've done. | ||
| Couple that with every real conversation you ever shared with somebody in your fucking life, and you're still not done. | ||
| You still have so much more to say. | ||
| We're unfathomably deep human beings or deep creatures who can keep finding things to talk about. | ||
| We talk because what else is there? | ||
| If we're not communicating with ourselves, with each other, what are we doing here? | ||
| Well, especially now with the internet. | ||
| I mean, that's the big difference between now and 20 years ago. | ||
| That's why I say 20 years ago I'd be fucking freaking out that I didn't have the internet. | ||
| Because you can choose the community. | ||
| You can choose a community that you interact with. | ||
| And I bet you find, even though you have a lot of fucking people on your Twitter, I bet you find they're predominantly cool, aren't they? | ||
| Yes, across the board. | ||
| That's why I love Twitter because it's so positive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything about it makes you feel good. | |
| You have 1,800,000 plus of your fans tuned into you where you could tell them things and you could clue them in on stuff all the time. | ||
| And they're excited and happy. | ||
| It's all positive. | ||
| And they're predisposed to say something positive. | ||
| Every once in a while, of course, you get a random sniper jackass, but generally it's just like, oh my god, I just watched Clerks and it was great. | ||
| I've never seen it before. | ||
| I had a real shitty day. | ||
| Listen to the podcast. | ||
| Feel great. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Today has been the last two days. | ||
| Well, I mean, last week, two weeks, well, with the Canadian tour, but the last day, like not even full day, last 12 hours, Red State been on VOD since I woke up this morning, which was about... | ||
| I think I got up at four. | ||
| Ironically, I wake up around 4.20 every day. | ||
| I got up around four-ish and I started reading positive feedback because people can watch it on VOD at their fucking house or on their computer. | ||
| So people are watching it, tweeting me while they're watching it. | ||
| And, dude, it's like a never-ending series of great job patting you on the back. | ||
| Like I was saying before, it costs nothing to encourage an artist. | ||
| And the yield, the potential yield... | ||
| It's indescribable. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| You encourage an artist. | ||
| One day they write that song that becomes that most important song in the world to you on that day that your parent fucking dies. | ||
| The song that says it all that you'll always be dialed into. | ||
| That person maybe writes a blog that puts the shit you always wanted to say right into perspective and you meme it out to everybody. | ||
| It becomes your mantra or they make a movie that is that movie that changes your life. | ||
| Whatever, man. | ||
| There's all upside to encouraging an artist. | ||
| Nothing good comes from the flip side. | ||
| Discouraging an artist. | ||
| Now, people will be like, well, you should discourage some fucking artist like Huey Bull or Kevin Smith. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's nothing bad. | ||
| Nothing good comes from that. | ||
| You tell some motherfucker you stink, don't do it anymore. | ||
| What are they going to do? | ||
| They stop, and maybe you don't like them, but maybe they don't inspire somebody else or make somebody else think, hey, I can try it. | ||
| You say that, but what about the concept of the salmon needing a waterfall to climb up to ensure that the strong genes survive? | ||
| And if every person had told you, oh, for Kevin Smith, those haters fueled you and gave you extra inspiration to push further ahead. | ||
| Do you work like that? | ||
| Do you feel like you work like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some people do. | |
| No, I try not to. | ||
| It's definitely a negative way to do it. | ||
| I know a lot of fighters use that as motivation. | ||
| I think you have to in that world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, a lot of fighters like their haters. | |
| And also, but think about it, as a fighter, you have to get over... | ||
| I know you say the primal brain is somewhere in there, but you've got to get over the brain that we've been dealing with for so many years, which is like, don't get hurt. | ||
| Don't go in there. | ||
| Don't run from danger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Protect oneself. | |
| So right then and there, they're working differently than anybody else. | ||
| They're going over their programming. | ||
| They're rewiring going in a different way. | ||
| And they have to try to stay zen in the moment and not freak out and let the adrenaline and everything just overwhelm them and go into full panic. | ||
| We had Shandling. | ||
| Gary Shandling was on our show at the house one day. | ||
| He likes to box. | ||
| He's a big boxer. | ||
| He was talking about almost the same thing you were in terms of you're there and not there. | ||
| It's about being there and letting go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it comes out of you. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget how he described it in terms of just not being where the punch is going to be. | ||
| And knowing that sooner or later you will get punched. | ||
| But... | ||
| The more you're in this moment... | ||
| Once again, it's so... | ||
| What I find fascinating about it is people who can fight or people who get in a ring and get physical and not just like, oh, we play some pickup basketball and shit. | ||
| But usually people get into boxing, fighting... | ||
| They could be so poetic about it because you are channeling into something, I guess, that most people don't. | ||
| We don't live in a world where we go around fighting people or getting into physical altercations involving our body. | ||
| So I think you guys do dial into something because every one of you is when you describe it for just a second. | ||
| I go like, yeah, man, I should fucking fight. | ||
| But I know I am not that guy. | ||
| In a minute, I'd get in the ring and be fucking taking... | ||
| The thought of getting hit would make me queasy and I'd pass out. | ||
| But fighters, people that do it, people who've actually been in a ring and fought or continue to do it are so poetic about it that they can almost sell you on it to the point of like, wow, I should give that a shot. | ||
| But I know I'm not made for being hit. | ||
| I won hit and I'm gone. | ||
| It's not for everybody. | ||
| Nothing's for everybody, right? | ||
| But what it really is about... | ||
| But it sounds like you want it to be for you. | ||
| Because you listen to it and go like, oh my god, could you imagine being zen about fighting? | ||
| About being there and not being there in that ring? | ||
| About... | ||
| Having to zone out but be very present so as not to get fucking killed by choice. | ||
| And you have to learn how to harness all of your potential, everything together, psychological, physical. | ||
| You've got to tune it all together. | ||
| You gotta make sure that your mind doesn't overwhelm your body with information. | ||
| You gotta make sure that you keep your heart rate steady and stay calm and see things exactly as they are, not exaggerated because you're under some adrenaline, heightened fear. | ||
| You gotta keep it together, man. | ||
| But what it really is is a vehicle for developing your human potential. | ||
| Martial arts or something, anything that's really difficult, man. | ||
| I think anything that's really, really, really fucking hard to do. | ||
| In doing so, you learn a lot about yourself while you're doing it. | ||
| And you learn about your potential. | ||
| You learn what you could push yourself through. | ||
| You learn how much focus you have in you. | ||
| You learn how to project it, how to keep it strong, how to keep it going, how to stay heightened, stay in a heightened state. | ||
| And that's what you get from that. | ||
| You learn excellence from anything, whether it's martial arts or fucking playing the violin or anything. | ||
| When shit's really difficult to do, you learn something about yourself in it. | ||
| Mastery of it leads to mastery of other things. | ||
| And even if it's not mastery, once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially from a bad motherfucker chopping people up with a sword. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, normally you get kind of that homespun wisdom from, you know, a little bald man who's chubby who sits on a hill. | ||
| But this dude's like, no, I know a lot about life because I ended so fucking many of them. | ||
| So sweetly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A slice of a razor-like sword across the neck and you watch the head separate from the body and fall down. | ||
| Like a lover's kiss. | ||
| The body twitches before it falls and a couple spurts of blood come out of the blowhole at the top and then it crumples. | ||
| Kaplunk. | ||
| You're making things awkward. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the end of the podcast, folks. | ||
| This is the longest podcast in the history of podcasts. | ||
| How long did we go? | ||
| If you really get through it all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Almost four hours. | |
| If you really get through it all, ladies and gentlemen, God bless you. | ||
| You're beautiful. | ||
| iTunes, we're probably going to have to chop this up into part one and part two. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's going to take a while because you can't edit that big of a file. | |
| Do you monitor while we do the show? | ||
| Monitor? | ||
| In terms of can you read feedback? | ||
| No, we did that before, but it was always nigger, cunt, nigger, cunt. | ||
| Really? | ||
| After a while, there's a lot of people just trying to get it. | ||
| What about Twitter? | ||
| I use Twitter. | ||
| Twitter's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, like Twitter, I'll monitor while we do the show. | ||
| But when there's a chat and you want people, like people want to like send you something that you'll read, they'll just say the most obscene, ridiculous, retarded shit. | ||
| So there was like a lot of people doing that, flooding things. | ||
| I was wondering if anyone, here we go, just listen to Kevin Smith and Joe Rogan, mind-blowing podcast. | ||
| Can I get my old song back, man? | ||
| No, dude, you gotta go with the 8-bit version. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| It's not me, bro. | ||
| The MIDI version, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is awesome. | |
| I want to make a version of the last four minutes of Freebird. | ||
| Can we do that? | ||
| Can we make that my new interview? | ||
| I just want the last four minutes. | ||
| Just the last four? | ||
| Yeah, Freebird. | ||
| Freebird. | ||
| Leonard Skinner. | ||
| You know, that crazy guitar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I live tomorrow The end. | |
| You know where the end comes? | ||
| I don't even have it on this guy. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, this has been an amazing podcast. | ||
| I've had a great time. | ||
| If you're still alive out there, if you're awake, if you haven't listened to us and driven your fucking car off the road and into the woods because we droned on and on for four hours, I'm sorry. | ||
| Anybody out there? | ||
| Anybody at all? | ||
| Remember the fucking day after? | ||
| When I was a kid, they did this TV movie about nuclear war, because we were all afraid about dying in nuclear war. | ||
| Stop, Drop, and Roll. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| But they made this movie called The Day After on ABC, and they were like, Viewer discretion is advised. | ||
| Like when that deep voice guy came into play first. | ||
| And they were telling you, this is intense. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| This is what could happen if America witnesses or feels the effects of a nuclear attack. | ||
| And they, at one point, they're, you know, on the microphone going like, this is blah, blah, blah, wherever we are, Idaho. | ||
| Is anybody out there? | ||
| And then, you know, they'd wait for a response. | ||
| No fucking response. | ||
| This is KDK, blah, blah, blah, in Idaho. | ||
| Is anybody out there? | ||
| Anybody at all? | ||
| Oh, it was so haunting as a kid. | ||
| I was like, could you imagine? | ||
| There's only like 12 people left in this fucking town. | ||
| And they're trying to reach other people in the world. | ||
| They don't even know if anybody's fucking left because they saw mushroom clouds and shit. | ||
| Terrified me as a kid. | ||
| But when you were just like, if anybody's listening, remind me of that. | ||
| Like, is anybody out there? | ||
| I think it was John Lithgow who said it too. | ||
| You pulled me back to Lithgow circa 82, bitch. | ||
| That's how class you are. | ||
| That's what kind of performer you are. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It was great, man. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I'm honored. | ||
| I'm really honored to be your friend. | ||
| It's cool as fuck. | ||
| Likewise. | ||
| Let's do it again all the time. | ||
| I told people, I said, but you're busy. | ||
| You've got a thousand things going on. | ||
| But I said, the last time you won my thing, I said, I want to do a podcast every week with Rogan just called Centered, where we just get stoned and they go, that's called the Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| I was like, oh, I didn't know. | ||
| Well, we could combine our forces, dude. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| I'd be more than happy. | ||
| We might just get weed legalized in half this country. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| Look, for sure. | ||
| We're poster children. | ||
| Yes, we are. | ||
| We both work. | ||
| Because most people look at stoners. | ||
| We work. | ||
| We're productive. | ||
| We're well-spoken. | ||
| I don't know about well-educated. | ||
| And nice. | ||
| And pretty nice guys. | ||
| And we're nice people. | ||
| Yeah, we're nice people. | ||
| You've got it going on, though, too, because you've got the strength. | ||
| Well, that's the confusing thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can protect us. | |
| Yes. | ||
| We need... | ||
| Yeah, we're like, look, he's smart, but look at those guns. | ||
| We're okay behind him. | ||
| I flipped the switch. | ||
| It's confusing. | ||
| I'm confusing people. | ||
| Alright, whatever. | ||
| Thank you very much for coming here, man. | ||
| We had a great time. | ||
| It was an awesome conversation. | ||
| Thank you, everybody, for all the love on Twitter and on Facebook and all that shit. | ||
| I think we're in a rare era, a rare time, and this time is what brought me and you together. | ||
| This crazy internet we've got going on here. | ||
| I'm very happy that it's all free. | ||
| We're going to keep it free forever, and don't ever worry about that. | ||
| I'll pay for bandwidth. | ||
| We'll figure it out. | ||
| This podcast, I think one of the best things about your podcast as well. | ||
| It's free Free. | ||
| Go get it, bitches. | ||
| That's the motto. | ||
| You gotta get it free for everybody. | ||
| They'll pay you back in other ways. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But just don't get it up front. | ||
| You'll get it on the back end. | ||
| You earn your place in their life. | ||
| Pay as you exit as the little rascals. | ||
| Remember they did that show and they were like, you know, don't pay. | ||
| Pay as you exit. | ||
| And they were all worried. | ||
| I think Spanker was like, get out of your mind. | ||
| They're never gonna pay. | ||
| And then at the end of the show, as bad as the show was, they all paid. | ||
| That's hippie bohemian shit, man. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Thank you very much, buddy. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| Thanks for having me, bro. | ||
| Thank you to The Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, and enter in the code name ROGAN, and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy from Matt. | ||
| Then you'll come. | ||
| Holla at your boy. | ||
| And I have some dates coming up, but I can't read my Twitter page. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| We've got Washington, D.C. September 30th. | ||
| Tickets just went on sale today. | ||
| There was a pre-seal yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where? | |
| Synagogue? | ||
| Where are you playing? | ||
| The Warner Theater. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| Synagogue? | ||
| Synagogue's a nice place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like the Warner. | |
| It's called Synagogue? | ||
| Yeah, the 6th Street Synagogue, I think it is. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| It's literally a synagogue. | ||
| It's about 600 seater. | ||
| I did a show there, a Q&A, I think last time I was in D.C. It was cool. | ||
| That's not where we played Red State. | ||
| We played Red State, I believe, at the... | ||
| At the Warner. | ||
| But we played, I did a Q&A at the synagogue. | ||
| It's a nice place. | ||
| Not, you know, it's 600 seats, but it's pretty cool. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| And then Houston, Texas, goes on sale Tuesday, so I'll let all you guys know. | ||
| Where are you going there? | ||
| The Verizon Wireless Center. | ||
| Center, motherfucker. | ||
| How many seats is that, bitch? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a couple thousand. | ||
| Look at this guy pulling out his fucking performance. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm just kind of balling. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Filling seats. | ||
| I actually should tell you that I started doing Q&As at the end of my shows. | ||
| One of the reasons, because I saw you doing it and I thought it looked cool as fuck. | ||
| It's fun, isn't it? | ||
| The ability to just let people walk up to you and ask questions. | ||
| You know who I saw do it? | ||
| It stayed with me my entire youth. | ||
| My grandmother used to watch Carol Burnett's show. | ||
| At the end of the show, she'd stand out there and do a Q&A. Yeah, at the end of her show. | ||
| Sketch show. | ||
| Not every episode, but when she did it, it was fun because she was literally no masks, no disguises, no costumes. | ||
| She literally came out on stage and was sitting there talking to the audience. | ||
| She'd tug her ear, say goodbye to her grandmother, whatever that meant. | ||
| But it was, I don't know, it was just informal, casual, and she seemed so fucking quick. | ||
| Like, she always had a great answer and stuff. | ||
| And Shandling was on the show, when Gary Shandling was on our show a couple weeks ago, he said that he was talking to Carol Burnett about that show, and she said, she goes, do you know how that worked? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We only used the funny questions. | |
| Ha ha ha! | ||
| She whispered it to him like it was a fucking great recipe or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's hilarious. | |
| Duh. | ||
| But I liked it. | ||
| I always liked it as a kid. | ||
| That was my favorite part of that show. | ||
| It was like, oh my gosh, he's going to literally talk to the audience. | ||
| Phil Harmon used to do that after every taping of news radio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He would Q&A with the audience? | ||
| He would do it all the time. | ||
| Next time we do this, we just got to talk about Phil Harmon. | ||
| Yeah, he would even do stand-up. | ||
| He would go out and do impressions because he had a crazy Clinton impression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, yeah. | |
| You know, I was thinking about... | ||
| I don't have a small penis. | ||
| Monica Lewinsky has a big mouth. | ||
| That was a good Phil S. Clinton. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And he would go and do Q&A with the audience, but he was very sharp and very quick. | ||
| And I actually started, I never, for the first time, like the first season, I never talked to the audience very much. | ||
| I would say hi and whatever, but I never would do like stand-up for them. | ||
| Then after he started doing it, I was like, yeah, we could just fucking fuck around and talk to the audience. | ||
| So Andy would go up and do it and I would do it. | ||
| It was a good time. | ||
| Especially because A, captive audience. | ||
| B, predisposed to like you. | ||
| C, you're trained pros. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| And they like it. | ||
| It's fun for them. | ||
| It's like all of a sudden we've gone off the normal pattern of what's going to happen here tonight and they're just having a good time and fucking around. | ||
| Dude, you're the shit. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| We're going to do this all the time, folks. | ||
| This is a new empire we're building together or something. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Brick by brick of weed. | ||
| This is the end of this podcast. | ||
| Thank you very much for getting here. | ||
| And we'll see you soon. | ||
| Sunday with Patton Oswalt, ladies and gentlemen. |
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