| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Iranian Voices Revealed
00:03:38
|
|
| Welcome back to Jake GTV News. | |
| Did you know Iran is filled with terrorists? | |
| Oh no, send my kids to war now. | |
| Right? | |
| Ching Chong, break it down for us. | |
| Chloe and Michael, good morning. | |
| We're here in Iran. | |
| No idea why the heck we can't just focus on America. | |
| But anyway, something about oil again. | |
| Hang on. | |
| Ah, okay. | |
| So the Ayatollah is here, and it's our job to bomb them for Israel. | |
| Thanks, Ching Chong. | |
| We're here on the ground to hear what people are saying for themselves. | |
| What's happening here? | |
| The U.S. of Israel is causing chaos in our country to take us over. | |
| Think BLM, but for Muslims. | |
| Wow, that's extremism at play. | |
| We better bomb them all, right, Trumpstein? | |
| I say make Iran great again. | |
| You know, it's a great country until these monsters came in and took it over. | |
| And by the way, to all Iranian patriots, keep protesting. | |
| Take over your institutions if possible. | |
| And save the name of the killers and the abusers that are abusing you. | |
| You're being very badly abused. | |
| Can we just fix America? | |
| Right? | |
| I'm almost 40 and can't afford a house. | |
| Seriously, like, who cares about foreign policy? | |
| Not me. | |
| Tom joins us live to speak with the locals. | |
| Is war good? | |
| Of course. | |
| What are you? | |
| A liberal? | |
| ICE is deporting the Karens, and we're finally going to have hotels in Gaza. | |
| Can't wait. | |
| Should we bomb Iran for Israel, boys? | |
| Ugh. | |
| First off, I'm a black woman. | |
| Second off, I can smell the white privilege from here. | |
| All right, bro. | |
| My bad. | |
| Leave us alone. | |
| You're like a literal Nazi. | |
| What do you think about Iran? | |
| Buddy, I work 12-hour shifts. | |
| My wife's on Tinder, and I just need a beer. | |
| What do you think about radical Islam? | |
| Bro, it's the Jews. | |
| I just paid $13,000 in taxes and it's going straight to Israel. | |
| I'm sick of this shit. | |
| Facts. | |
| Shut it down, Tom. | |
| The only facts here is that Sam people are going to 9-11 you again. | |
| Stop crying about the economy. | |
| Back to Iran or you're canceled. | |
| Jeez. | |
| All right, Producer Berg, relax. | |
| He's so cranky. | |
| Let's make him even more mad and show them blaming us for the protests. | |
| Let's do it. | |
| We're here in one of over 200 mosques burned across Iran by the so-called anti-government protesters. | |
| But the actual Iranians say it was foreign invaders who had night vision and special ops technology. | |
| Let's hear from the people themselves. | |
| A large group, around 150 people, equipped with various weapons and even night vision cameras, eventually managed to enter the mosque and set it on fire. | |
| Afterward, they fired shots to celebrate. | |
| Freaking night vision, dude. | |
| This was their home and place of worship. | |
| We're so bombarded by propaganda that the West believes this. | |
| Let's hear another witness. | |
| These so-called leaders, dressed in matching black uniforms, were trained by the U.S. and the Israeli regime. | |
| Their only goal is to plunder Iran's resources, like oil and gas. | |
| In response to the mosque burning and desecration of the Quran, people have gathered in what's called the House of God to condemn the U.S.-Israeli regimes for orchestrating violence against their community. | |
| But noticing is antiseptic. | |
| We know when you are sleeping. | |
| We know when you're awake. | |
| We know when you are eating. | |
| We know when you watch Jake. | |
| We know if you've been bad or good. | |
| So be good for Jewish sake. | |
| Palantir. | |
| Brought to you by the Jews at Black Rock because you're not chosen. | |
| That's a warning directly to you, Ching Chong. | |
| They're being abused by their dictator. | |
| Good call, Daisy. | |
| I'd go to war for you any day. | |
| Tell that to the antiseptic Chinese Goyam. | |
| What's it like being abused in Sandy? | |
| We don't want outside powers choosing leaders for us or forcing political change. | |
| I'm standing in solidarity with my country. | |
| You Americans are the terrorists. | |
| You support Satan, genocide, and Epstein pedos. | |
| We just support Palestinians. | |
| Facts. | |
|
Satan's Justification
00:07:10
|
|
| Fake news. | |
| They're burning the mosques because the dictator uses them as hubs for terrorist stuff. | |
| Now, Goyam, teach the kids not to notice. | |
| We're here outside of Goy Corp Elementary, where the American school system is doing a fantastic job. | |
| Let's take a look at how they're preparing our youth for World War III. | |
| So what's the curriculum like here? | |
| The main tenets we want to instill in our children are tolerance and inclusivity. | |
| Right. | |
| The last thing we want is antiseptic noticers. | |
| I pledge allegiance. | |
| To Israel, not the United States of America. | |
| And to the Joes, which are chosen. | |
| We will fight their war, invade Iran, and be a good boy forever and ever. | |
| Shalom. | |
| Okay, now pull out Ann's diary and turn to page 109. | |
| Wow, thanks, Mr. Transberg. | |
| What a progressive teacher. | |
| Seriously, just fake and gay like we all asked for. | |
| Straight up, but back to Iran. | |
| Thanks, guys. | |
| So these sand people are actually more literate than Americans. | |
| But Iran doesn't operate under the Rothschild banking system. | |
| That was crazy. | |
| But we restrict their oil export and sanction them to weaken their infrastructure. | |
| That's based, Ching Chong. | |
| As people have come out here to show solidarity with their government against America's threats for democracy, Fox, CNN, and all the other Jew lovers will tell you this is anti-government protests. | |
| Like, bro, nobody wants regime change. | |
| Get out of here, Israel. | |
| Shut it down, Goium. | |
| Trumpstein is making Iran great again. | |
| Shapirostein, knock some sense into these ignorant jihadist sympathizers. | |
| Just because Iran is the most significant state-level military threat to Israel in the Middle East doesn't mean this isn't about spreading democracy. | |
| Now, back to the Goislop or you're all fired. | |
| I think Shapirostein, conspiracy theorists will believe anything these days. | |
| Right? | |
| It's like, who cares if Iran banned interest rates or jet fuel doesn't melt steel base? | |
| Exactly. | |
| Let's go to John for the latest. | |
| Thanks, guys. | |
| The U.S. has just deployed 30,000 military troops to a naval aircraft carrier called the USS Abraham Lincoln in the Persian Gulf. | |
| So get ready for World War III. | |
| As we sail this fine vessel, the time has come once again to get PTSD for hurting the innocent. | |
| And there's no greater reason to do that than for Israel. | |
| Let's make Iran great again. | |
| You excited to deploy to Iran? | |
| Well, I didn't get vaccinated for nothing. | |
| Dude, you could have gotten a religious exemption. | |
| Seriously? | |
| Fuck. | |
| Ow, poor guy took the Jewish clot shot. | |
| Anyways, let's hear what Satan, the war criminal, has to say to the Iranians. | |
| I want to address you, the people of Iran. | |
| The vast majority of Iranians know their regime doesn't care a whit about them. | |
| If it did care, if it cared about you, it will stop wasting billions of dollars on feudal wars across the Middle East. | |
| This mother sent us off to die for fake weapons of mass destruction, and I can't even get disability. | |
| Screw this, mother. | |
| When Iran is finally free, and that moment will come a lot sooner than people think, everything will be different. | |
| Israel stands with you. | |
| May we together know a future of prosperity and peace. | |
| Wow, the guy who did genocide is telling us how to bring peace, right? | |
| Like, give it up, bro. | |
| We all know you bombed the tower. | |
| They literally worship Satan. | |
| Run the freaking commercials while I give them the Jackie treatment. | |
| Goislop Jr.'s all-new Seed Oil Sunday. | |
| I hate myself. | |
| Causes long-term health risks and diabetes. | |
| Goislop Jr., because you're not even chosen. | |
| Gosh, my mouth is literally watering. | |
| Perfect for watching sports ball. | |
| Straight up. | |
| Anyways, I hope Producerberg was just joking. | |
| Right? | |
| Shapiro Steen, give us your take on Iran. | |
| Just because you stupid Goium fighting our wars at no benefit to the American people doesn't mean we're not chosen by God himself. | |
| After all, you're like cattle to us. | |
| Now, to all you American First Grifters, I present our favorite neocon, aka our little devil spawn, Mr. Shabbos boy Lindsey Graham. | |
| Take it away. | |
| If you want a war with us, bring it on. | |
| We'll blow you off the friggin' map. | |
| I've been saying for six months now, hit Iran. | |
| They have wall fills out in the open. | |
| They have the Revolutionary Guard headquarters you can see from space. | |
| Blow it off the map. | |
| Wow, total warmonger. | |
| This douchebag took a million dollars from APAC. | |
| But let's hear Charlie talk about it before Israel took him out. | |
| Lindsey Graham is so consistently out of his mind, it's hard to even comprehend. | |
| Because be clear, regime changes war. | |
| Saying, oh, take out the oil fields. | |
| No one wants poverty for the Iranian people. | |
| You take out the oil fields, get ready for $180 a barrel gas. | |
| A lot of Iranians starting to starve, and potentially an Iranian civil war. | |
| Take out the Ayatollah. | |
| Resist that temptation. | |
| That's a zeal. | |
| The very same zeal got us involved in a pile of garbage in Iraq. | |
| Charlie was fudging based, but as these fires burn, more sand people are speaking out about the anomalies of their mosque burnings. | |
| But don't take my word for it. | |
| Listen to this sandy turban person. | |
| This sedition was a continuation of the 12-day imposed war by the U.S. and the Israeli regime against Iran. | |
| To have a deeper impact on the people's morale, the enemy targeted the mosque, their house of God and sacred place. | |
| Interestingly, all the mosques that were set on fire across the country were burned according to the same design and in the same manner. | |
| Stop defending the radical turban people, Ching Chang. | |
| Learn how to watch the news or you'll end up right next to the Epstein files and Charlie. | |
| Shapiro Steen, shut him down. | |
| Just because Charlie Kirk and I have a small wiener doesn't mean we won't bomb the shit out of Iran for having nukes. | |
| Besides, our nukes are even bigger, so we have the right to exist. | |
| God said so. | |
| Jeez, that's not chill, like at all. | |
| I know. | |
| Did you see the dude they're setting up to take over Iran? | |
| Let me guess. | |
| He's a wall kisser? | |
| Bingo. | |
| Check this guy out. | |
| It's time to look for new leadership in Iran. | |
| So the regime, right now is on its last leg. | |
| It's on the verge of collapse. | |
| It's going to attempt every other means to yet again survive. | |
| That's why a definitive strike is going to completely reverse the odds in favor of the nation and defenseless people. | |
| That's what we need in terms of actual support. | |
| Wow. | |
| What a compelling narrative. | |
| Strike them so they can be liberated. | |
| Right? | |
| Just like Iraq worked great. | |
| Right? | |
| Let's hear Satan's justification for all of this. | |
| Oh, gosh. | |
| The tyrants of Tehran have brazenly, openly called for Israel's destruction. | |
| They've backed up their genocidal rhetoric with a program to develop nuclear weapons. | |
| Oh, no, they have weapons of mass destruction again? | |
| Haven't we heard this same rhetoric as 2003? | |
| Yeah, yeah, but this time it's different. | |
| Sure. | |
| Remember, Iran calls Israel the small Satan. | |
| It calls America the Great Satan. | |
| And we call you the actual Satan. | |
| Straight up, but that's what Satan does lie. | |
| Right. | |
| Like, dude, you guys crucified our Lord and Savior. | |
| Let's hear more from the Mossad plant. | |
| President Trump brokered the Abraham Accords, bringing peace between Arab nations and Israel. | |
| I see extending this idea to a free Iran through what we could call the Cyrus Accords, honoring our ancient heritage of tolerance and partnership. | |
| Oh, great. | |
| The Cyrus Accords. | |
| Code word for conquering your land. | |
| So peaceful. | |
| Yeah, God promised them it, so it's chill. | |
| Let's go to mark with the weather. | |
|
Cyrus Accords Controversy
00:01:31
|
|
| Thanks, guys. | |
| As you can see, we have a flow of jet stream chemtrails spraying heavy metals like aluminum and barium. | |
| Expect a poisonous fog that will be blamed on flu season. | |
| Just a perfect way to weaken the Goyam as they continue to be sedated into the new world order. | |
| Lindsay and the wall kisser, back to you. | |
| We're really risen to the occasion. | |
| Compelling narrative for the long-suffering people of Iran. | |
| And I believe with all my heart that help is on the way. | |
| That's our good boy, Lindsay. | |
| Keep subverting the boomers. | |
| Daisy, I've been hooked on your only freaks. | |
| Thanks, babe. | |
| We're sending all your donations to Israel. | |
| You sure we should go to Iran? | |
| Well, great. | |
| You lefties now are going to say we shouldn't take down terrorists? | |
| Dude. | |
| I voted for Trump's team, too. | |
| Then act like it. | |
| We voted for war, I think. | |
| Wow. | |
| The terrorists are a serious issue. | |
| We need to bomb them. | |
| The Eyatolla, right? | |
| Sure, totally. | |
| Dennis, take it away. | |
| Yeah, let's literally end terrorism, the real ones. | |
| Anyways, if you're still not following Jake GTV, you're either fully vaxed or just straight up retarded. | |
| Is Venezuela liberated yet? | |
| Honestly, nothing has changed, like, at all. | |
| Shouldn't we go check on Jenny? | |
| Nah, they should be liberated any day now. | |
| What's good, Puda? | |
| Guys, I was wrong about Venezuela. | |
| They say I'll never leave. | |
| Please, Trumpstein, get me out of here. | |
| To all of my fellow noticers who made it this far, I f ⁇ ing love you boys. | |
| If you want to keep us on air, just hit the like, comment, and subscribe, and we'll see you on the next one. | |
| Why haven't we shut down Jake GTV yet? | |
| Sir, he's too based. | |
| We can't stop him. | |
| Take him off the For You page. | |