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Nov. 18, 2021 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:11
20211118_TJDS_20211117_Podcast
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Hey, come see us do a live stand-up show in Portland, Oregon, the 26th and 27th of November.
That's Thanksgiving weekend.
See you there.
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We'll talk to you later.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Joe Biden.
Oh, hello, Mr. President.
Nice to hear from you.
Neo!
What?
Excuse me?
What?
Jimmy, that's Mandarin for what's up, Doc.
Oh, yes.
You just had your sit-down with the Chinese president.
I got it.
You bet your crab rangoons I did.
Did you know anyone have they don't even know what crab rangoons are in China?
No, I did not.
They never even heard of them.
It's an American invention.
Bomb me straight the fuck out.
I thought I was heading to Rangoon Central.
I was going to hit the mother load.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Anyway, what was I talking about?
Oh, yeah.
Yes, Jimmy.
I sat down with President Xi Jinping for a real heart-to-heart.
Well, Sino-American relations do need a bit of an overhaul.
Were you able to make any headway on issues such as climate change, trade, the pandemic, or arms reduction?
No.
Okay.
But it's a promising start, Jimmy.
Well, what did you focus on then?
Taiwan.
Right.
Okay.
Jimmy, do you know about Taiwan?
That whole issue makes me want to Taiwan on and forget that that little fucking island even exists.
Just kidding.
I don't drink.
And if I started now, I'd probably die.
Quite possibly.
This whole thing has been a headache since the 70s.
China says Taiwan is part of China, but Taiwan says, hell no, we're not, Jack.
In fact, we're China.
You're not even China.
It's very confusing.
To minefield, I got to maneuver around.
Chinese state media reported that you don't support Taiwan independence.
No, no, no.
That's not what I said.
I said we support China's one China policy.
Meaning China's assertion that Taiwan is part of China.
No, no.
Well, yeah.
But I also said we strongly discourage any attempt to change the status quo.
This makes no sense.
Look, Buster Brown, it's very simple.
The United States supports Taiwanese independence from China, while at the same time acknowledges that Taiwan is part of China.
Well, those two are opposites, Joe.
I know.
But how?
Look, my hands are tied here.
Our entire relationship with China hinges on this banana shit.
Luckily, I'm guided here by my Christian faith.
What?
What does that possibly have to do with anything?
Jimmy, as a devout Roman Catholic, my faith is dictated by the Nicene Creed, which clearly states that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are both three separate or at the same time three separate entities and part of one thing.
Okay, all right.
I got it.
And if you can believe that, you can believe anything.
Yeah.
After swallowing that humdinger, believing that Taiwan is independent and a part of China at the same time is a three-day weekend, my friend.
I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's what it means to walk in faith, to believe, and to repeat absolute horseshit.
Well, that's just great.
The point is, the United States is standing firm in its commitment to the two opposite things are true policy, or toe-tat.
We need to be friends with China, but also stand firm.
And they stand firm, too.
Also, we take a little shitty childish jabs at each other.
That's another thing we do.
Hopefully, you're above that.
Oh, hell no.
They're going to take me to the Great Wall of China later.
They fucking love to do that.
And I'm going to walk through it to the other side of the wall and say, hey, nice wall.
Unfortunately, I don't think it does what walls are supposed to do.
They hate that shit.
Okay, well, try not to accidentally get us into a war, please.
As long as they have egg rolls, I'll be chill.
Still mad about my rangoons.
All right, well, thanks for calling, sir.
Totat!
What is totat?
The thing I made up for the sketch.
Oh, okay.
Two opposite things are true policy.
Okay.
So there's a climate summit
happening, and Nancy Pelosi was taking questions with a couple other douchebags, and Abby Martin from Empire Files showed up to ask a question, and watch what happened.
Wait a minute.
I want a woman.
I want a woman.
A woman.
A woman.
Gender equality here.
Maybe I don't, but...
Abby Martin with the Empire Files.
Speaker Pelosi, you just...
Oh, shit.
Not that woman.
Can we get a man?
Is it possible to get a man?
Okay, here we go.
Presided over a large increase in the Pentagon budget.
This Pentagon budget is already massive.
The Pentagon is a larger polluter than 140 countries combined.
How can we seriously talk about net zero?
If there...
I think she...
I think Nancy Pelosi's acting like that scarf was her neck.
I think that's what she was doing.
This vibe...
Yeah.
Here we go.
Here we go.
How can we seriously talk about net zero if there is this bipartisan consensus to constantly expand this large contributor to climate change, which is exempt from these conferences?
Military is exempt from climate talks.
The biggest contributor to climate change.
They're exempt.
Isn't that awesome?
What a great point.
Now, of course, she's not going to get an answer.
But let's see just how much of a non-answer they give her.
So Nancy Pelosi has strategically walked away from her own microphone so she can't get back to the podium to answer.
She's too far away.
So she has to toss it to a male.
No.
A guy with a penis.
That's right.
That's right.
The woman couldn't...
Here we go.
I just want to use...
See, so Nancy Pelosi...
I'm too far away.
I'm not even by the microphone.
So she tosses to this hard on.
Ready?
Example, if I can.
You know the sea level rise is an important part of, you know, what's happening to the climate.
And I am not a defense person, but I've had so many talks with the Defense Department, with the Navy in particular, they have to respond i've talked to them about how they have to respond to a problem that they create uh Does he beat you because he loves you, or does he love you because he beats you?
Okay, here we go.
What's going on?
So I really do think that there is no reason why what we're putting together, you know, with Build Back Better and other things, can't respond to the Defense Department and have the same impact in terms of reducing emissions.
And I do think that the Defense Department is very much aware of the fact that they have to play a major role, both from a strategic as well as, you know, for the good of the world.
So I don't see what we're doing in any way or increasing the defense budget as being something that's inconsistent with climate action.
I don't see.
I'm an elected official and a grown-up adult person, and I don't see how giving people unlimited money to destroy the planet somehow compromises an effort to save the planet.
I really don't.
I really don't.
I really don't see it.
I mean, we'll fund the military up the wazoo, give them everything they ask for, and in return, they'll realize they have to change.
That's how it works.
Give them $29 billion more.
They've given the military since Trump was president like $160, $70 billion extra dollars every year.
Every year.
And that's in perpetuity.
He said, I don't see how that's.
Look, the Navy sails on water.
Climate change involves water.
So there you go.
By the way, that's Frank Pallone.
What's with the gym teacher haircut, Frank?
That's my question.
Hey, at the end of the QA, we're going to resume dodgeball, okay?
That's not a tie.
That's a lanyard.
Come on, people.
He missed his calling, though.
He should have been a corrupt yet sluggish police captain.
That's what Frank Pallone should have been.
There we go.
There's more.
You don't.
And maybe I just add that national security advisors all tell us that the climate crisis is a national security matter.
Listen, listen, I have a friend who's in national security, and they told me that climate change is bad.
I have a friend.
I have another friend in security, and they recycle.
So it's okay.
Everything's going to be okay.
Fuck it.
Well, listen to this.
So that was your first non-answer from the fellow.
Now here comes a non-answer from the lady.
It is, of course, a health matter for our children, the water they drink, the air they breathe, etc.
It is a job issue between clean technologies being the future of our workforce and the training for all of that.
It is a national security issue because of all of the conditions that climate crisis produces.
I won't go into all of them, but they do cause for migration, conflict over habitat and resources, and again, a security challenge globally.
And then the fourth, of course, the moral issue that we need to pass on this plant future.
Can you believe this?
In a responsible way.
This is amazing.
Recognizing what you said, we recognize that as well.
And a big user of fuel.
Do you recognize it, though?
Recognizing what you say, we recognize it.
I recognize it.
Like, first of all, let's talk about fuel.
Go ahead.
Talk about it.
There have been many initiatives over time, more successful with more technology to convert from fossil fuel to other sources.
So when we're out there bombing and dropping 26,000 bombs, it would be nice if they were bombing and being blowing.
You know, the tanks are running on vegetable oil.
That's what we're talking about.
We want wind power, our white phosphorus.
That's what we'd like to do.
Jesus Christ, these people.
A fuel to run the military because it would make the biggest difference.
Transportation, defense, these are two of the biggest to make the biggest difference in all of that.
And that is something we're very, very focused on.
As I say, the Defense Department sees this systemically.
Just talking.
Just talk.
Yeah, and we keep giving them hundreds of extra billions of dollars a year that isn't unnecessary for the Defense Department.
But why?
Because we're captured by them.
They own us.
This is them at a climate conference trying to not look like a fucking liar.
These are the people who are the actual murderers and criminals, war criminals who are robbing.
You remember, let's not forget what Truman was Eisenhower said that every bomb that's produced is food out of a kid's mouth.
I'm paraphrasing.
And she doesn't give a shit.
She doesn't give a shit about climate change, nor does she give a shit about the defense budget, contributing to climate.
She doesn't care to stop it as a national security issue.
And one way to do that is to stop our dependence on fossil fuels, which exacerbate the climate crisis.
With that, I thank you all for being here.
Unfortunately, they're telling us they have to clean the room.
Yeah, because there's a lot of bullshit around here they have to sweep up, apparently.
Oh boy, look at the time.
We're not allowed to talk about the defense industry at a climate summit.
I got to go.
No follow-ups, no follow-up questions.
So good work to Abby Martin, tip of the hat to her for doing that.
But again, the people who need to see that won't.
And the people who do see that probably already know.
So here's another story that people will say I'm an anti-vaxxer because I present a fact that happens.
And, you know, there has to be a lefty critique of the establishment's COVID handling and their vaccine rollout.
And people resigned from the FDA over the booster shots.
Just that person who was in charge of vaccines at the FDA resigned over the booster shots.
And here's a story about those booster shots.
This comes from 953WBKCKFEB, Town Square Media Inc., WBCK.
It says Saginaw Township School closed last Monday.
Schools closed last Monday due to reactions to COVID booster shot.
Okay, so here's a video.
Here's a and by the way, here's a video about it from a local news station.
Let's watch it.
It was something other than COVID-19 that forced the one Saginaw County School District to close their doors today.
Wow.
Oh, it was something other than COVID-19?
Hmm.
What could it be?
Either white supremacy or misogyny or transphobia.
Those are my three guesses.
Let's see the real reason.
Saginaw Township Community Schools closed for today.
At first, you might be thinking COVID-19 is to blame, but a district spokesperson tells me a large number of staff members had negative reactions to the COVID-19 booster they received over the weekend.
Now, according to the CDC, some of the most common side effects of the Pfizer and Moderna COVID booster are pain at the injection site, fatigue, muscle pain, headache, and fever.
Also, the chills and nausea.
For the JJ booster, the CDC says fever, fatigue, and headache were some of the more common symptoms.
Recent data from the CDC shows among 12,500 people who received a third dose of the COVID-19 vaccine, 79% reported those local reactions like pain and itching at the injection site, while 74% reported the systemic reactions like muscle pain and fatigue.
Okay, so that was so.
Here's the official response.
First of all, it was the booster shot.
I owe Steph $30,000.
I bet big.
I didn't think it was the booster shot.
I was so sure it would be one of those other three things I said.
I was putting my money on sexism.
Don't worry, I'm going to win it back when Kamala gets the Democratic 2024 presidential nomination.
That's right.
We'll see who can accept reality, Steph.
For the record, COVID is to blame.
What with this being a COVID booster?
So is it called a booster because it boosts the number of staff sick days?
I'm not a pharmacist.
I don't know.
Is that why?
By the way, whoever put up that TikTok video, I do find it suspicious.
I mean, I wonder if, what was Vladimir Putin up to last Monday?
Is that what he was doing?
He has, has it whereabouts been accounted for?
Because that's who I think did that TikTok video.
So here's an actual last month.
So this is what the Saginaw Township Community Schools put on their out following the news release on their website.
STCS schools close Monday, November 8th.
All Saginaw Township schools will be closed today, Monday, November 8th, due to a staffing shortage.
What?
Why is there a staffing shortage?
There's a staffing.
Well, there's a substitute teacher staff shortage across the state, further complicating the staff.
Why is there a staff shortage?
It says it right there, too.
So it says, staff members will not report.
Child care and after-school programs, including swim school, are canceled.
The Board of Education meeting will take place.
The Board of Education meeting will take place.
A large number of our staff had a negative reaction to the COVID booster shot given at a voluntary clinic over the weekend, resulting in absences today.
There is a substitute teacher staff shortage throughout the state, further complicating the availability to cover the absences.
So there's a substitute staff shortage across the state.
Why is there a shortage?
Is it because they fired everybody who wouldn't take the jab?
I'm going to have a hard time not laughing about this all day.
Isn't it ironic that they're getting the boosters so they don't have to close down schools due to COVID, yet they have to close out the school due to the boost?
Come on, that's funny.
That is funny.
And why is there a substitute teacher staff?
I don't know.
My joke, my joke answer is because they fired everybody who refused the booster.
That's my joke answer.
I don't know why there really is.
Boy, I hope no one tells MSNBC's Joy Ann Reed about this.
70.
Well, first of all, the CDC reported the following: 12,591 vSAFE registrants who completed a health check and survey after all three doses of an mRNA COVID-19 vaccine.
79% and 74% reported local or systemic reactions, respectively.
So 74% of the people who got the dose reported bad reaction other than just arm pain.
After the third dose, 77% reported arm pain.
76 reported local or systemic reactions after the second dose, respectively.
Wow.
So that's a lot of people reporting.
That's wow.
That's high.
Why do you think that they had those bad reactions?
If you ask Joy Ann Reed, she'll tell you it's because they're racist, just like she said about Eric Clapton.
Eric Clapton had a bad reaction to the vaccine and he talked about it.
Charlotte Marie, he's racist.
That's their flex.
There's 76% of the people in Saginaw saying that.
Wow.
Why else would the boosters be causing a negative reaction?
Science tells us it's racism.
And by the way, in light of this news, I think the heads of the vaccine approval department at the FDA should probably step down.
Oh, wait, they already did that weeks ago because they felt it was unethical to push boosters on healthy adults under 60 without comorbidities.
Well, that's not what Jen Saki told me.
We do know that the head of the vaccine department at the FDA stepped down over the Biden's administration pushing the boosters.
We do know that as a fact.
And you know the worst part about this whole thing is Saginaw was where Gavin Newsom took his family to enjoy Halloween together.
And he abruptly disappeared for 10 days right after his booster shot.
Isn't that something?
I'm kidding.
This is, I'm kidding.
That's misinformation.
I love Gavin Newsome.
You know that.
The guy just didn't want to miss another family Halloween.
You know that.
So there it is.
There's a, I don't know what to make of that, but I thought there was an interesting story.
And they had to close down schools.
And by the way, did you know Saginaw is not that far?
It's 30 miles away from Flint.
Flint, Michigan.
What the F?
What is it with the trickle-down effects of widespread corporate and government corruption always hitting that area?
Oh, right.
There's a lot of poor people there.
That's what that is.
Maybe Obama could compassionately head out to Saginaw like he did to Flint.
Remember when he showed up and pretended to drink the water?
Right, right, right.
Maybe he should go out and pantomime getting a booster shot for the camera in Saginaw.
Well, I feel my original Pfizer shot wearing off after six months.
Would anyone happen to have a clean, safe syringe, a booster shot?
Well, that's refreshing.
Saginaw booster.
Okay, see you.
And he runs to a helicopter.
Let's look at the positives.
For the kids, it was a free day.
It was like a snow day, right?
That's why I want to look at it.
That's why I choose to look at it.
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So guess what?
Gavin Newsome, remember, he got the jab.
Gavin Newsom has not been seen publicly since receiving the COVID booster shot on October 27th.
A lot of people were speculating on what happened, right?
I thought he got face surgery.
I thought he got the plastic surgery.
That was my guess.
Other people were guessing he had a reaction to the booster because he got the booster.
Then he went underground, canceled all his public appearances.
And then his wife tweeted this out.
It's funny how certain folks can't handle the truth.
When someone cancels something, maybe they're just in the office working.
Maybe in their free time, they're at home with their family or at their kids' sports matches or dining out with their wife.
Please stop hating and get a life.
Well, maybe, but he's been gone for like 14 fucking two weeks.
Did he go to that same French restaurant, but he just decided to walk this time?
And then she deleted that.
So that's not suspicious.
Why would she delete that?
And why wouldn't he just do a video instead of you having to do a tweet?
Why wouldn't he just do it?
Hey, it's me.
I'm in my office working.
See ya.
Why would you have to do that and then delete it?
Something smells fishy.
By the way, so now we know how long it takes him to get his hair done.
Come on.
Am I right?
You know what?
I think I think he went on a space ride with Jeff Bezos and didn't tell anybody.
He was in Jeff Bezos' penis rocket this whole time.
But he's come back.
This is from him coming back today in public life.
Oh, finally.
Yeah, this is him coming back.
Wow.
But the absence came at an, this is from the LA Times.
So this isn't me.
This is even the LA Times is saying shit.
They said, but the absence came at an inopportune time for two reasons, both of which pertain to COVID-19.
Because Newsom's latest public appearance took place October 27th when he received a COVID-19 booster shot.
Just two days later, his office released a statement saying he was scrapping his Gladgo trip due to family obligations.
You were just fucking locked down for a year and a half with your family, ballbuster.
You fucking don't need more time with your fucking family.
All right, here we go.
No further details were provided.
I wonder why.
The lack of clarity and timing sparked rumors that he had a bad reaction to the aforementioned shot.
Vaccine skeptics who require much less yarn to weave conspiracy theories have used the situation to question the shots on social media.
Well, aren't you fucking doing it right here in this fucking article?
They just do it at the top of that paragraph and then they bitch at people for doing it at the bottom.
The lack of clarity and timing sparked rumors that he had bad reactions.
And then some other people are spreading fucking rumors that he had a bad reaction.
You guys are doing the exact shit you're shitting at people for doing.
Isn't that amazing?
It's crazy.
You guys just spread a rumor and then you get, then you shit on people.
Oh, those, but those people are assholes.
We're not vaccine skeptics, but I bet somebody.
That's nuts.
Vaccine skepticism remains an issue right now, just as we're heading into the holidays when people will be in close contact.
On Tuesday, Newsom himself called the prospect out of a winner surge, my biggest anxiety.
Meanwhile, COVID-19 hospitalizations are increasing in parts of the state.
Right-wing media has taken notice with Fox News declaring Mass California's COVID rate is now twice Florida's because it is.
Because it is.
Is that a conspiracy?
Facts are a conspiracy.
That's a right-wing fact.
That's a fucking fact.
We discovered it yesterday.
How about you ask, how about you try to figure out why Florida's rate is lower than California's instead of fucking acting like that fact is somehow right a right-wing.
Can a fact be right-wing?
So it goes on.
The Mass California's COVID rate is now twice Florida's, which it is.
And pushing the false narrative that COVID-19 interventions are ineffective.
Well, I don't know what lots of COVID-19 interventions are ineffective.
I don't know which ones they're referring to.
They don't say which ones are false.
I don't know which ones because that thing before this was factual.
That thing you say they're saying, that's ineffective.
That's a fact.
So it's fucking, it's amazing.
Corporate media.
It's unfucking.
Because they get their money for Big Pharma.
So here, LA said Newsom, this is the LA Times tweeting.
Newsom said that after the state's recall election, he worked on signing bills.
Oh, that's loud.
I got to keep signing.
I'm working on that.
Then by the time he scheduled his scheduled trip to Scotland for the UN Climate Summit rolled around, his children were fed up.
Oh, he's such a family man.
The kids literally, they kind of had an intervention.
They said they couldn't believe I was going to miss Halloween.
Halloween.
That was on the 31st, folks.
Oh, my God.
I remember one time my dad missed Halloween.
I'm just now getting over it.
Did your dad ever miss Halloween?
You know how kids love to spend time with their parents on Halloween.
What the fuck?
I woke up the next morning with something that is probably familiar to a lot of parents.
That not in your stomach, that I had no damn choice.
I had to cancel that trip.
You fucking liar.
So here, by the way, so it never dawned on you to post a selfie or something.
No cameras around to film him signing all those.
Right.
No cameras around to film him.
So here, by the way, so here he is.
I guess this is today.
Yeah.
So he finally came out of his cocoon.
And boy, I do like a guy whose teeth are wider than his shirt collars, right?
Don't you?
And here he is.
Let's go.
What happened?
Oh, I know what happened.
You got to wait for it.
I don't know.
I was sort of bewildered.
I drove into the office every single day, into the Capitol, walked the halls of the Capitol.
Oh, no photos of it?
Spending time with my team, quite literally every single day.
Nobody did it at all.
And I didn't see a lot of other folks.
And then I started seeing some things bubble up on social media.
Where's the governor?
I'm like, what is that?
I'm just out choba Wood.
You know, come on.
I'm just Claring Brush.
You know me.
I'm just out there working.
And then I said, holy smoke, what's going on?
Holy smoke, you see what's happening on social media?
I better keep hiding.
I better keep being mischievous.
Fuck.
I better be like a mischievous raccoon going after the cat food.
Yeah, so you saw shit on social media.
Why didn't you do a fucking video?
Why don't you do a selfie?
Why don't you tweet it?
What are you doing?
You saw shit on.
Oh, holy smokes, boy.
Jesus Christ.
Gee, shucks, the governor of California disappears from the public spotlight and people notice.
Who'd have thunk it?
Maybe he did mushrooms for the first time and he couldn't handle it.
Someone was saying crack.
I was in my office the whole time.
I was just working so hard.
And before you know it, 14 days had passed.
Sometimes you just got to really.
I just had a really great Spotify playlist, and you just have to, you know, I do work.
He's at work.
I've been doing work on port.
I'm doing all-cutter work.
I was too busy working to come out and make people think it didn't come.
I didn't get it from the jab.
I was too busy working.
I knew I was promoting vaccine hesitancy, which I'm supposed to be against, but I'm promoting it because I went underground hiding like little possum.
Her statements about the work we were doing last week.
So I don't know.
I think what we're experiencing is remarkable mis and disinformation.
Yes from you.
I think.
Where the fuck were you?
I was really where I was working.
I just didn't think to squelch any of the rumors, even when newspapers started to put it in headlines where the F is the freaking governor.
I don't know.
You think you must be conspiracy theorists, right?
You know, when the guy who's running the fifth largest GDP in the world disappears, I don't know.
Maybe people are going to get concerned.
I don't know.
We have a bigger GDP than Russia, California.
Listen to more of his bullshit.
Listen to this.
This is what a guy looks like when he's bullshitting.
This notion of vaccination, misinformation is pretty well defined and documented, and it's alive and well in this case.
It's just rather extraordinary.
And so I think it's a good question.
And so, you know, I could have squelched it like that, but just by peeking my head out the window and waving.
I decided not to.
I decided to let it keep bubbling and bubbling and bubbling.
I had my wife do a tweet and then delete it mysteriously without explanation.
I don't know.
Everyone else is an asshole.
I think it's a question for all of us.
It's a question in your industry.
It's a question in mine and in whatever professional endeavor.
How we push back against lies, misinformation.
How politicians push back against lies and misinformation.
It's a problem in his industry, certainly.
Politics.
We always have to be worried about how we're going to push back against lies and misinformation.
You guys are the purveyors of it.
You guys have laboratories set up concocting misinformation and lies.
Intentional and otherwise.
And it's hard.
It's a fire hose.
And if you want to go down that rabbit hole of conspiracies and the like, it's a challenge.
And that's nothing to do with the governor's office.
It's more.
But you know what?
Hunter Biden had more convincing lies about his laptop.
That's what I think.
And I had to spend Halloween with my kids.
Why?
Because your kids wanted an extra spooky Halloween.
They wanted to see their dad after his face surgery or his Bell's palsy.
What was it?
It's much more profound than that all across this country.
And obviously, we're seeing misinformation weaponized.
He's a victim.
He's a victim.
United States, the perpetuation of the big lie, and how a jaw-dropping number of Republicans believe it.
And this notion of voter fraud.
This has nothing to do with that.
He's bringing up, he's bringing up stop the steal.
What else?
So that's how you know he's bullshitting.
That is a guy.
You're talking too much.
Why would you need to talk that much if nothing happened?
This is, oh, a guy's got 18 tells.
That guy's throwing off 19 of them right now.
When a guy lies, he's got 18 tells.
That's from that fucking movie, right?
Sicilians, heavyweight champion liars.
Guy's got 18 tells, women, 21.
Guy's got 18.
He's throwing off 19 of them.
Dude, you're too much information.
Too much going into others.
Oh, boy.
Safety of vaccines.
It's alarming what's going on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're alarmation.
And so I think that's a very good question.
Is it alarming as you signing the bill that will kick old people out of nursing homes during a pandemic?
Because they passed a bill that would stop that and you vetoed it.
You mean you were doing that kind of work, making sure old people weren't protected during COVID pandemic for being kicked out of a nursing home.
You mean that kind of tough work?
You mean you got it?
You got to fight against that kind of misinformation or is that accurate information that you're a piece of shit who doesn't give a fuck about anybody about but because you're a politician.
Come on.
Don't be a sucker.
I've been a sucker for politicians.
Believe me, I fell for Bernie.
So don't do it.
Here he is.
This is, I got to tell you, I am jealous of his neck.
Deeper question than the issue that you bring to the fore.
And it's one we're all going to have to ponder and work against.
Yeah, this is a big, this is a big problem for everybody.
The fact that you disappeared after you got the booster for two weeks is not everybody else's fucking problem.
Maybe you should hire, maybe you should get a new press secretary.
Maybe you should get a new consilier, a new pandemic consiliere, because that was bullshit.
And now he's trying to make it look like, damn, right-wingers, huh?
Fucking right-wingers.
Okay.
The governor's back and he's going to be in trouble.
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The governor's back.
Okay.
So that was Governor Newsom.
So there was an election in Nicaragua.
Now, you know, the United States, anytime there's a government that wants to help the people in Central America, Latin America, South America, what do they do?
They try to overthrow that government and install a puppet of the United States and corporate America so they can extract the wealth out of and the natural resources out of that country and give it to corporations instead of give it to the people like in Venezuela right with their oil okay so uh now we're doing it to Nicaragua again no ever since I was a kid, we've been messing around with Nicaragua because Nicaragua wants to try to help their people.
And you can't do that.
You have to become a servant of the United States and the corporations that are inside the United States.
So Antony Blinken, who's the Secretary of State, Antony Blinken, Antony, that's his name, not Anthony, Antony Blinken, Antony.
He, this is the press release from the State Department.
It says new sanctions are following the sham elections in Nicaragua.
Because you know how pristine our elections are.
You know how pristine our elections are, right?
Okay.
It's not like the guy with the most money.
Anyway, the United States, this is from his press.
This is from that press release from the State Department.
The United States is at, by the way, let me bring in, let me bring in some people who know a little bit about this so they can comment on it as we go along.
Let's welcome our guests.
We have the co-hosts of the progressive talk show, The Convoke Couch, which discusses daily news cycles and introduces new grassroots personalities.
Please welcome to the show Fiorella Isabel and Craig Pasta Jardoula.
Hello.
How are you, Convo Couch?
We're doing great, Jimmy.
Thanks for having us on.
Yeah, thanks for having us to talk about foreign policy and imperialism, especially these elections that are being called a sham when you just mentioned yourself.
Our elections are so pristine here in North America.
And so you were down at the election.
So let me just read Anthony Blinken's press release.
He says the United States is acting to promote accountability for Nicaraguan officials in the wake of the November sham election in Nicaragua.
Who promotes accountability for the United States politicians when we illegally invade other countries and kill a million people?
Does anybody ever promote accountability for us?
You know how George Bush and Jake Cheney are in jail right now?
Oh, no, that never happened.
You know how they committed, they organized a torture program internationally and they all went to jail.
Oh no, nobody's in jail for that.
Nobody even got prosecuted.
There was never even a hearing about torture.
So I don't know why we feel like we get why we have the right to promote accountability for other countries, but we don't ever have accountability for the United States, ever, ever.
We don't even give our people health care.
You know that?
Where's the accountability for the lead in the Flint?
There's no accountability ever anywhere.
Today, the Department of the Treasury's Office of Foreign Assets Control imposed sanctions against the Nicaraguan public ministry and nine Nicaraguan government officials.
So on November 7th, the Ortega Murillo government held an election that denied Nicaraguans their ability to vote in free and fair elections following months of repression and the imprisonment of 39 individuals, including seven potential presidential candidates, opposition members, journalists, students, and members of a civil society.
It sounds bad.
Now, let me bring two people in who are actually down there to watch that election.
Now, what can you tell me?
How much that's 100% garbage, right?
What the State Department is saying?
And why do they care about Nicaragua so much?
They really don't give a shit about the elections in the United States.
So this is them acting at the behest, once again, of U.S. corporations.
So what did you find out about the elections when you were there?
All right.
Well, I'll start off by saying that recently Joe Biden signed the Renaissance Act.
The Renaissance Act is the act that allows these sanctions to happen.
Rocana recently released a statement as of two days ago justifying these sanctions because they're trying to paint Daniel Ortega, who is the current president of Nicaragua, as a dictator, of course, as somebody that jailed his opposition.
Well, one of the biggest lies of this whole thing was that he jailed his opposition.
He didn't jail his opposition that were pre-candidates is what they call themselves.
So you're a pre-candidate for president, Jimmy, because if you ever want to run for president, you could.
That's what they mean by pre-candidates.
None of these people filed to run for office.
And also, in 2018, there was an attempted and failed coup that the United States backed in Nicaragua.
And in that coup, a lot of these coup plotters that are actually in prison, you know, they were involved in that.
And so what happened is they try to do it again.
When Daniel Ortega gave them amnesty, to the dismay of many of the Sandinistas who actually wanted to hold him accountable, he said that please, all I ask is that you never try this again, is that you never try to overthrow our government.
Because in any major country in the world, when you try to overthrow the government, you're going to be in trouble.
So that's why these people are behind bars.
And so the State Department, the mainstream media narrative managers and the propagandists made it out to be like he's just jailing people who are on the ballot.
But Pasta can tell you when we went in there, there were six candidates on the ballot and none of them were in jail.
Yeah, also the fact that a lot of these people, these pre-candidates, you know, and that's what they just throw out there.
They throw that sentiment out there like, oh, it's pre-candidates making that kind of viable.
They're not.
They would never register.
But a lot of these candidates, they didn't want to disclose their funding.
And a lot of the funding we found out, Ben Norton has done some amazing work on this, comes from NGOs like the NED.
And these groups have always overtried to throw the government there.
So this whole false narrative that the fact that he jailed his opposition is just completely false.
And he did show restraint and he did give some of them amnesty.
So right off the bat, when they say that he just eliminated his competition and that's why he was able to win the election, it's completely and utterly false.
As a result, the U.S. Department of the Treasury announced sanctions against the Nicaraguan public ministry and nine Nicaraguan officials.
The public ministry played a primary role.
The public ministry played a primary role in the regime's arrests of potential opposition presidential candidates.
Now, that's what you just talked about.
They're not even presidential candidates.
I mean, I got, if I could write this funny, I would be famous.
I wouldn't be doing a show in my garage.
I'll tell you that.
The public ministry played a primary role in the regime's arrest of potential opposition presidential candidates, other leaders of civil society, the private sector, students, and journalists in advance of the elections.
The U.S. Department of the Treasury designated the nine Nicaraguan officials pursuant to EO 13851.
I guess that's executive order 13851 for being officials of the government of Nicaragua or having served as officials of the government of Nicaragua at any time on or after January 10th, 2007.
So their crime was being a part of the government.
That's what that says.
So Antony Blinken of the State Department, who works at the behest of criminal corporations in the United States, is Now, trying to overthrow a democratically elected government that's supposed to help, that's trying to help its people and not the government, not the corporations of America.
And to do that, they're making up crap like this.
This is the kind of stuff with a straight face they put this out there.
Yeah.
These nine individuals facilitate the Ortega Murillo regime's repression, including its human rights abuses, or manage instant.
We're the biggest penal colony in the world, the United States.
We put black and brown people in prison at such higher rates than their population.
The oppressive gut regime is right here in the United States.
The oppressive regime is right here in the United States.
The state gives guns to homicidal maniacs and they go out and they shoot black and brown people without with impunity from coast to coast.
And they also shoot white people with impunity from coast to coast.
So this idea that there's another government that is more corrupt than the United States, that has worse elections than the United States, and that is more repressive than the United States is ridiculous.
Okay.
These nine individuals facilitate the Ortega Murillo's regime's repression, including its human rights abuses, or manage institutions that finance the undemocratic Ortega Murillo regime or otherwise sustain it at the expense of the Nicaraguan people.
They care so much about the Nicaraguan people, Steph.
You know that.
Antony Blinken and Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, they don't care about the American people because they don't give them healthcare in the middle of a deadly pandemic, but they do care about the Nicaraguan people.
They care a lot about them and their freedom, turns out.
Turns out.
I bet they don't imprison half as many people as we do in the United States.
I bet that, huh?
With these new sanctions, the United States, joined by our international partners, continues to take concrete actions to respond to the Ortega Murillo government's attacks on civil liberties and free and fair elections.
So, no, go ahead.
Go ahead.
So, you want to hear this?
No, free and fair elections just makes me laugh when it's talking compared to the United States elections.
We put this down when we went there, Jimmy.
We didn't just go to observe the elections.
We went to scrutinize the elections.
The Comvo Couch, at the end of the day, doesn't care about their political ideology when it comes to looking at the elections.
We didn't care who was on the ballot.
We just wanted to make sure the framework, the process, and the procedures were in place.
And let me tell you this much.
If the United States had an election like the Nicaraguans did, 95% of our Congress wouldn't even be there because it's a free, transparent, and verifiable election.
So you basically.
Go ahead.
No, sorry, go ahead.
No, so you were there.
This is your groove.
This is your wheelhouse, election integrity.
And you're saying you witnessed, you observed the election.
You don't care about who won, who lost or whatever.
You say that it was on the up and up and it was much better than an election in America, correct?
Absolutely.
I mean, having observed the elections here the last few years, you know, we saw people in Santa Monica at colleges wait seven hours to vote in the Democratic primary, ordering pizza, ordering food because they were there for so long.
You go to Nicaragua, and first of all, it takes between two to five minutes to vote at the largest precinct in the country, which is located in Bilwee, which is where we actually went.
It's an autonomous area of Indigenous people.
They have their own municipalities, their own government, but their elections are all run nationally the same.
And first of all, you have to show an ID, which would be considered right-wing by our standards.
You have to show an ID.
Everybody's automatically registered to vote at 16 years old.
And when you get there, you can look up your ID via computer or it's listed on a paper as well.
And they have people helping you all over the place, guiding you.
If you have disabilities, they will literally take you in your wheelchair to where you need to be because they don't always have elevators at all for people there to go to.
And the rooms are called juntas, and they're divided by the closest distance from your home.
So everything is organized and set so people don't have to worry about, oh, where do I go?
Or they can track their vote much easier.
And when you go in there, it's a paper ballot.
There's no computer.
There's nothing connected to the internet.
And what you once again have to check in, and they have a list of IDs, pictures of everybody's ID.
And they once again have to verify that you are who you say you are.
And after you vote, you get this black ink on your thumb.
So that way you're not allowed to vote anywhere else and it stays with you for days.
So I guess by our standards in America, by what a lot of liberals say, you know, that their vote would be Jim Crow.
Their voting system would be Jim Cron steroids.
There's no vote by mail.
There's no drop-off boxes.
There's no, I mean, it's like they combine the Democrat and the Republican fights with the things they fight about elections and they made it one whole thing and they eliminated the internet.
So there is a way to go back and the counts are done wherever the person votes each time.
I want to talk about that.
That's where the vote is cast, it is counted.
And there is multiple parties in the room.
Remember in the last election, the general election, a lot of Republicans were kicked out and they put things on the windows so they couldn't see in?
Well, when we went in there, we always would check.
What party are you with?
Oh, you're a Sandinistas.
Oh, you're part of the opposition party.
Oh, you're part of the third opposition party.
And we explained that's like having a Republican, a Democrat, and a Libertarian in the room, or maybe a Green Party in the room.
They're all present there.
And where the vote is cast, it is counted.
And that just secures the chain of custody, which is so important when it comes to elections.
Because once you get these ballots outside the room, who knows where they're going, where they're stopping, what's doing with them, and where they end up.
So, you know, it's just a clean, secure system that I wish we had.
If we had half as good of a system as there, there wouldn't be so many questions when it comes to our elections, Jimmy.
It was solid.
And I said this before, the people of Managua, the people of Nicaragua, they have a voting system to be proud of.
So, and we're sanctioning them, and we're doing it under the pretense of that they ran a sham election.
And of course, people who are on the ground say they ran a great election.
And of course, this is, people don't understand.
Our government overthrows other governments on the regular.
That's what we do.
We're the most undemocratic terrorists in the world, the United States.
There's no bigger terrorist organization in the world than the United States and the United States military.
There's no bigger terrorist organization in the world.
None.
We make Russia look like a pimple on our ass with the amount of terror that we inflict, the amount of death that we inflict, the amount of violence that we inflict.
And this is violence, what we're doing to Nicaragua right now, because let's remember who gets hurt by sanctions is the people get hurt by the sanctions.
The government doesn't get hurt.
So what they're trying to do is put a hurt on the people of Nicaragua so that they will somehow get disenchanted with their government they just elected and so that they can now foment unrest inside Nicaragua and install a puppet government.
That's exactly what the United States does all the time.
That's what we're trying to do now.
If Trump was doing this, we'd all be screaming, what a fascist.
But since it's Anthony Blinken and Joe Biden, nobody on the left is screaming about this.
And you'll never hear the squad talk about it because they are also imperialists.
They are apologists for the imperialist class.
That is exactly what they're doing.
Okay.
And where the hell is Tulsi on this, too, right?
I know she's not in office anymore, but people are saying, Pasta, aren't you upset for what she said for Kyle Rittenhouse?
No, I'm upset what she hasn't said about Nicaragua here because this is going to hurt thousands of people.
Thousands of people are going to be without medicine, without education, without food.
We're going to try to starve them out.
Like you said, Jimmy, to turn them against their government.
And people need to speak up about this because this is imperialism at its finest.
The reality is, too, Jimmy, that the Sandinistas government has on data on paper.
You can, you know, you can ask anybody.
Ben Norton was there.
Caswa-Chan News was there.
A lot of journalists were there.
Election observers were there.
They were literally, we were all told by the Sandinistas, but also by the people who weren't even, you know, in love with Daniel Ortega that they had a fair and free election.
And they were specifically told that the reason a lot of people support the Sandinistas government is because he has increased the roads.
He has increased the schools, the access to potable water, and they have health care.
They have health care for all, something we don't even have here in the United States.
And that's to me, it just goes to show you Nicaragua is the second poorest country in Latin America, and yet they can provide people fair and free elections.
They can provide them health care.
They can give them a free public university.
That's one of the other things.
We spoke to a gentleman that lives there.
And yet, you know, we talk about democracy and humanitarian aid when we don't give our own people that.
So that just goes to show you.
And by the way, we weren't alone.
Like I said, there were hundreds of other people observing.
And one of the lies that we caught them is the New York Times woman was literally saying that they were closing polling stations, that they were, you know, preventing people from voting.
Something that we do here, that we have witnessed here happen.
That never happened.
And it was so easy to debunk these lies because we were all on the ground.
So going on with Anthony Blinken in the State Department's statement on Nicaragua, they say we welcome that Canada and the United Kingdom also impose targeted measures today.
As the OAS, that's the Organization of American States, which is completely corrupted.
The OAS General Assembly made clear on November 12th under President Ortega and Vice President Murillo, the Nicaraguan government moves toward further isolation if it continues to undermine democracy and deny Nicaraguans their human rights.
So there's, again, they can just, they just make these blood.
Again, if you cared about human rights, maybe you'd stop bombing the fucking rest of the world.
Maybe you wouldn't have turned Libya into a slave state.
Maybe you wouldn't have turned Iraq into a failed state.
Maybe you wouldn't have bombed 26,000 bombs in Syria.
I mean, we're the biggest, we have a drone program that kills 90% innocent people.
Joe Biden just killed 12 people, a whole family of aid workers in Afghanistan.
Nobody would give a shit.
This is your Democrat.
You vote Democrat.
You get good people.
These are murdering maniacs is what Joe Biden and Anthony Blinken is in the United States government.
Murdering fucking maniacs, imperialists who are going to other countries and fucking with other countries.
You think that Russia buying a Facebook ad is screwing with our elections?
Look what they're doing.
They're getting the whole world to impose sanctions on them.
That's what Anthony Blinken and Joe Biden is doing.
Like the pieces of shit that they are.
And TYT and the Intercept and CNN and MSNBC will tell you got to vote for that guy, even though he's a murdering maniac who's demented.
Okay.
You know, Jimmy, too, on your show, Mike Ravel was on and he said this.
This is very important for people to understand.
Sanctions are an act of war.
Sanctions are an act of war.
And there's no such thing as this bullshit statement that we're having targeted sanctions.
We're going to target this.
It's not going to, it's not, it doesn't work like they, that way.
The most vulnerable people, the poor people, those are the ones who suffer from sanctions.
So when we sanction the hell out of these countries, it is an act of war and it's one of the most racist things we can do.
We are starving out brown and black people all over the world.
So when the woke freaking crowd keeps crying about Kyle Rittenhouse, but it completely ignores this, it just burns my ass.
That's right.
That's right.
That's exactly right.
Because they're all about virtue signaling and they don't give a shit about the facts or actually helping people.
And there is nobody.
And if you're looking at how people are approaching the mandates and they're wanting nurses and EMTs and firemen to be fired and bus drivers to be fired, the least amongst us, the frontline workers, the people who are heroes, just those are shit libs.
There is nothing more vicious.
There's no one more vicious than a bleeding heart liberal.
Nobody is more vicious.
And this is proof of it.
So I love when they go, we welcome that Canada and the United Kingdom also impose targeted measures.
Yeah, we love it when other countries are willing to be hypocritical, murderous maniacs like we are also.
We like it.
The United Kingdom, if there's anybody who's against colonization, I think it would be, I think it would be the UK.
We stand with the region in calling for a return to democracy in Nicaragua.
When do we return to democracy in America?
Because we know we live in an oligarchy.
Our democracy was stolen from us a long time ago.
The Cambridge study proved beyond a doubt that we don't live in a democracy.
There's no democracy in the United States.
If you think there is, you're a chump.
Because if you don't make in the up, you're not in the upper 10% of wage earners in America, the wealthy, what you want reflected in legislation is never reflected in legislation ever.
You know who's is the upper 10% of earners.
That's it.
That's it.
We live in an oligarchy.
And it doesn't matter.
Right now, 80, 90% of the country wants single-payer health care.
We ain't getting it.
70, 80% of the country wants marijuana legalized.
We ain't getting it.
Right now, 70, 80% of the country wants student debt relief.
We ain't getting it.
70, 80% of the country wants a fucking minimum wage.
We ain't getting it.
We don't live in a democracy.
We live in a fucking oligarchy that is rapacious and also imperialistic.
We're the terrorists, ladies and gentlemen.
Not Nicaragua, not Ortega.
Us, the United States.
We're the terrorists.
Who's on the phone?
I'm getting a phone call.
Let's see who it is.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Jimmy Jimbo.
Yeah.
Gymnastics.
Okay.
Timboree.
Dr. Dr. Fauci.
Dr. Fauci.
Hey, I called you.
Oh, really?
You know why?
Because I care.
That's sweet.
I really want you to get your booster shot.
Well, I'm not getting one.
I got a joke.
Okay, hit me.
Tony the Fauch, Chucky DeShum, and RFK Jr. walk into a bar.
And jokes on you without a vaccine.
She's going nowhere, pal.
I don't care if you're a Kennedy or a construction worker dead in the water.
I noticed when I go to a restaurant now, they're asking for proof of vaccination and an ID.
All part of the plan, my stick-nap friend.
What are you going to do?
Stay home.
What's the end game of this plan, Dr. Fauci?
I don't really have an answer for you on that.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkomedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamorano.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
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