All Episodes
Previous Next
April 15, 2021 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:14:34
20210415_TJDS_20210415_Podcast
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
It's Er Pacino.
Oh, hey, Al, how are you, buddy?
I'm eating a cow zone right now.
how the fuck you think I am.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Sounds delicious, buddy.
How's your news watching project going?
Well, you know, Jimmy, I had to take a break for a while.
Things got a little too heavy there.
So I was doing hot yoga, eating cow zones, doing some prank calls.
But now we started watching the news again, and I'm a little confused.
Oh, yeah, how so, buddy.
Jimmy, it looks like we have a problem with dirty cops.
Yeah, you could say that.
You could say that we have always had a problem with dirty cops of this country.
Yes, so what are they doing?
Are they full on the take or are they just having a little taste?
A taste of what?
Come on, don't be a wise guy.
A taste.
Just a little taste.
A little taste never hurt nobody, right?
That's always their logic.
Al, these cops are not pocketing C's drug money.
I wish that were the problem.
No, these cops are shooting and killing unarmed civilians.
What?
Whoa.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bit of a bigger problem.
Yeah, see that.
I get it.
So it's not like Serpico.
It's more like Magnum Force.
I love those dirty, hairy movies.
Clint Eastwood.
So.
So these cops are going around executing motherfuckers who got away with crimes like vigilantes.
No, Al.
No, not at all.
Well, what's their motivation?
Motivation?
Jimmy, for a film to work right, the antagonist, in this case, the dirty cop, must have a motivation that, although perhaps immoral, is still ultimately understandable and relatable.
Well, Officer Derek Chauvin, who is currently on trial, murdered a man named George Floyd by kneeling on his neck for nine minutes because Mr. Floyd was suspected of having a counterfeit $20 bill.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
What's the motivation there, Al?
You tell me.
This is hard.
Maybe the cop's mother was murdered by counterfeit money.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense at all, Al.
I know.
I'm doing my best over here.
It's been a long time since film school.
No, this isn't a film.
This is real life, Al.
It's not a movie.
That cop, like all of them, was motivated by a sense of power, having the power of life or death over unarmed people.
Well, that sucks.
The audience is not going to relate to that.
This latest killing happened because the cop claimed it was an accident.
She meant to shoot him with a taser, but accidentally shot him with the gun and killed him.
Oopsie.
Just a mistake.
Oh, come on.
Get the fuck out of here.
Who's directing this shit?
Alan Smithy?
That's lazy writing.
Or an accident.
Every incident must have a cause and move the plot forward.
That's like, oh, it was all a dream.
Throw that screenplay in the trash.
Again, Al, I feel I need to emphasize that this is real life and not a movie.
But yes, I agree.
If it were a movie, it would suck.
Well, but what do we do about it?
Well, Al, a lot of people are talking about completely defunding the police.
The idea being if we dismantled the way law enforcement is handled entirely, we'd have the opportunity to...
Okay, what?
A good cop.
What on earth do you mean?
That's the third act.
A good cop comes forward and through some sort of plot mechanism stops the killings and therefore redeems the police department.
There's just one problem, Al.
What?
There are no good cops.
Whoa.
Hold on.
I like this.
Dark plot twist.
Very nice, very sinister.
Al, your insistence on seeing this as a movie metaphor is straining the credulity of this sketch.
You know, kind of like an M-Night Shama Lama Lama ending.
Neo-Hitch Kakien.
Okay, I gotta go.
Look, call back when you've watched more news and fewer movies, okay?
Or wait, maybe a lawyer could save them and himself in the process.
I'm out of order.
You're out of order.
This now room temperature cow zone is out of order.
Aaron, the reason why I have you on today is because we're going to be talking a lot about
Russia, but the coverage of Russiagate.
So now there's a reporter over at The Intercept, used to be at The Young Turks and The Nation, and Ken Klippenstein, handsome young man, and he does good work.
He does those deep dives, right?
He does the freedom of information, access.
He knows how to work that, and he works it, and he always has information that other people don't, which is nice.
But he recently got a job at The Intercept, people were saying if you watched his Twitter feed over the last few years, you saw he was angling.
I don't want to read that much into his Twitter feed, but this is funny because, you know, when you get a job working for The Intercept, you're not allowed to tell the truth about Russiagate, Syria, force the vote.
There's a lot of things.
Hunter Biden.
You're not allowed to go against the establishment, right, and tell the truth.
So when he got hired at The Intercept, which is, you know, run by that billionaire, and yet they still try to ask, they still ask money to fund people to give them money as if they need money to run their goddamn thing, as if they're some kind of independent news source.
They're frickin'owned by a billionaire.
they don't mean that's a thousand million right isn't that what that is that's a lot of millions you don't need they don't need your 15 bucks um but they still do it they still ask you to give them money uh so yashi levine uh said uh so pierre is his name is Pierre Olmedar.
Is that how you say his name?
I think that's how you say his name.
Got another tech critic journalist on his payroll.
Wonder if Ken Klippenstein will prove his chops and do some expose on his billionaire benefactor.
And he shows his Twitter feed.
There's no results for Ken Klippenstein and Pierre Olmedar, right?
So he's not going to report on the guy who's hiring him.
So this guy who's a tech reporter isn't going to do any reporting on a tech critic.
Yashi Levine's referring to him as a tech critic journalist.
And it's obvious he got hired there because he's never going to do a story on Pierre Olmedar.
That's what Yasha Levine is implying, right?
Okay.
And so he comes back with, Ken says, I mostly cover national security.
I think this week's Amazon stories are the only tech ones I've ever done.
And those are good Amazon stories.
Okay.
So tech and national security, famously two sectors that never overlap.
Okay, so we're starting to sniff out the bullshit.
Okay.
Yashi Levine comes back even stronger.
He says, got it.
Then I hope Omadar's far-flung international influence apparatus will prove to be fertile ground for you.
And he links to stories talking about how Omedar helped fund the, should I, I don't know, the far right wing, some people accuse of being Nazis in Ukraine.
That he's, this is what the story, he's like, why don't you talk to a story about this then?
If you cover national security and not tech, then here's a great story.
And it involves the guy who's paying you.
So he's busting his balls.
And okay.
Okay.
And he's got him, right?
So I was expecting Ken Klippenstein to come back with, yeah, you got me or something or something clever.
You know, like, but he came back with, there's a much simpler reason I never covered Russia's stuff.
It's boring.
I'm glad journalists don't cover imperialism for the same reason I don't watch most YouTube shows because it's boring.
Imperialism and Smarialism.
Get the fuck.
Come on, get out of here.
So he's, this is first of all, again, what makes that funny is that you know he typed it with a straight face.
He wasn't giggling when he was writing that.
He was legitimately thinking he was going to get away with this, which is fucking funny because he's usually the guy catching other people doing stupid shit like this, right?
It's like if I did that and then he was catching me when I do stupid shit.
It's like that.
Because that's what I do.
I like to catch people.
He likes to catch me.
And here he is doing this.
Just say nothing.
Just go away.
You'd be better off saying nothing.
Why would you say this, right?
It's boring.
You know, the story that has dominated the media, the establishment media for the last five years, nonstop 24-7.
Now since nobody's talking about Russia anymore, and Trump, the news ratings have taken a nosedive.
You mean that boring story?
The story that had propped up newspaper sales and clicks for five years, that boring story?
That's not the boring story he's talking about.
I'm sure there's another Russian boring story that he's talking about.
So Aaron Mate, our guest, jumps in and said, PSA, I guess that's that's for public service announcement.
No one is obligated to cover Russia's stuff, but don't rationalize saying zilch on this pivotal and destructive story by claiming it's boring.
It's in fact a third rail to illustrate, had you covered it properly, you wouldn't be allowed to work at the Kool-Aid drinking intercept.
That's called the Mate drops the hammer.
That's the hammer.
And he does it in such a Canadian way, such a nice way, too.
For instance, to illustrate, had you actually covered it in the right way, you'd be fucked right now.
You'd still be kissing Jet Uger's ass right now.
In fact, had you covered it correctly at TYT, you'd be out of a job there, too.
And Anna Kasperian would question your character because you outed their evidence-free conspiracy theory and their McCarthy smearing.
She would then call Ken Klippenstein.
I don't trust him.
He's not a nice guy.
Why?
Because he saw through our smears of Julian Assange.
Pierre Omadar co-funded Ukraine revolution groups with U.S. government.
That's what the documents show.
So that's what, so just so you know, Pierre Omedar's network, which owns Look Media, First Look Media and the Intercept, funded anti-Yanukovich projects.
Omadar provided 36% of the center USA's budget in 2012.
And in 2011, Omadar gave $335,000 to New Citizen.
Now, Aaron, what does this mean?
So in this case, so the U.S. under the Obama administration and Joe Biden, when he was vice president, played a critical role in basically fueling a coup in Ukraine in late 2013, early 2014.
They overthrew the Yanukovych government because Yanukovych was basically trying to play both sides.
He wanted to keep Ukraine neutral.
So, you know, making friendly with Russia, which is its neighbor, and also the U.S., which, you know, dominates the world.
But for that, that wasn't good enough for the U.S. So basically Yanukovych was accused of being pro-Russian, even though he wasn't.
And he was ousted.
And the U.S. poured billions of dollars, according to Victoria Newland, who was a top Obama official and now is back in the Biden White House into fomanting this coup in Ukraine.
And Omidyar is one of these billionaires like George Soros, who dabbles in the political field, including in countries targeted by U.S. regime change.
And he contributed some money to support these opposition movements that were involved in the coup.
And so that's what Yasha Levine is pointing to.
And by the way, this Ukraine coup is causing problems up until today.
It set off a proxy war that is ongoing.
Right now, Russia has moved troops to its borders, and that's prompting this freak out and the U.S. demanding that Russia pull its troops back from its own territory, which is strange.
The point is, this coup in Ukraine has been incredibly destructive for Ukraine, especially, where thousands of people have died for no reason, just because the U.S. couldn't tolerate Ukraine staying neutral when it's on Russia's borders.
And there are some just fanatics in Washington, a lot of them in the Biden White House right now, who want to bring Ukraine into NATO, which is just suicidal for everybody involved.
So that's the project that Pierre Omidyar, the owner of the Intercept, was involved in.
And, you know, that helps explain, perhaps, why the intercept, except for Glenn Greenwald, was so awful on RussiaGate.
And, you know, it's possible, you know, Glenn actually has said in the Intercept's defense that Omidyar did not interfere editorially.
So that's, you know, and Glenn would know he was at the top of the intercept.
He was, he was the founder.
But so even putting Omidiar aside, you still have this supposed adversarial website founded to challenge the national security state to defend whistleblowers, to expose state secrets.
Except for Glenn, the intercept decided to do the bidding of the national security state's biggest deception since the Iraq war.
That was RussiaGate.
They totally drank the Kool-Aid.
And that was the point I was trying to make to Ken in that tweet.
You know, I could have even been more Canadian.
If you have my tweet still up, I actually could make, I could make it even more polite, where I said, had you covered it properly, had you covered it properly, you wouldn't be allowed to work at the intercept.
I should have said, had you covered it properly, despite all the great work you've done, you still would not be able to work at the Kool-Aid drinking intercept because Ken has done great work and he does great work now.
And I don't want to take anything away from it.
What I objected to was him trying to claim to be above the Russia story and trying to pretend the reason he didn't say anything about it or cover it is because it was boring.
This is the most destructive story of the last many years and certainly the biggest story.
It dominated U.S. politics.
It had major impacts on geopolitical relations, heightening tensions between the U.S. and Russia.
It dominated U.S. politics.
It sidelined all the other issues that us as progressives are supposed to care about and that Ken covers.
They impeached the president over it.
They impeached the president over this hard shit.
It never stopped.
There was a sprawling Mueller investigation.
And as soon as that failed, they immediately latched on to this Ukraine impeachment thing.
And it was all dominated by the same Cold War derangement of where Russia was going to destroy our democracy through its sophisticated bots and memes.
It was a joke.
And so go ahead.
Yeah.
And so for a progressive to see all this, to know how, first of all, how dumb it was, how destructive it was, and how bad it was for the progressive cause because it pushed Democrats even more to the right.
It let the Hillary Clinton wing avoid any responsibility for their own failures and their own neoliberal legacy.
It criminalized leftist dissent.
So people like Jill Stein and Tulsi Gabbard were accused of being Russian agents for the crime of criticizing U.S. foreign policy.
Jill Stein was even investigated by the Senate Intelligence Committee.
I know.
And you're going to sit back and call all this boring.
It speaks to the other side of the cowardly part of our leftist media who we've talked a lot about the part that went along with Russia Gate.
The people who were so careerist and or so credulous that they bought into this garbage.
But then there are those who said nothing.
And that's what, to me, that's what this is.
This is Ken Klippenstein doing good work when it doesn't take any balls.
You don't have to go against the establishment, but as soon as you do, he's not going to do it.
In fact, he's going to try to bullshit you about it while he doesn't have any fucking nuts.
And that's what that is.
And I get you don't have any nuts because you won't get a job at the intercept if you write that story.
I probably would do the same thing Ken Klippenstein's doing.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to say I'm a fucking better person.
I'm not going to do that.
I would probably, if someone said, hey, Jimmy, you could get on your own HBO, another HBO special if you just don't talk about whatever, talk about Russia Gate.
And they'll give you no, I'll be like, all right, oh, fuck it.
It's fine.
Let's go.
Let's sign a paper.
So that's what this is doing.
I wouldn't fault you for that.
I wouldn't fault you for that.
Just like I actually don't fault Ken or many others like him for saying nothing about Russia gate.
The problem is when you try to pretend that you're above it.
Yes.
And that the reason you didn't do it was because of careerism.
Because then you're actually throwing under the bus the people who did take risks.
Like you, myself, like you.
And a few others.
And you, of course, too, Jimmy, who actually went out there and pushed back on all this when everybody was going along with it, when everybody was scared to challenge the literally, it was like a, it was cult orthodoxy.
And we were the heretics.
And people like Ken here with this tweet, and maybe he didn't mean it the way he wrote it, but the impact of that is to throw us under the bus.
And so that's what I took exception to.
Yeah.
So just letting you know, because some people have said to me, Jimmy, when you say you do better journalism than anybody at the intercept, don't you think you're, and I say, well, just show me their, could you show me their work they've done on Russia Gate, the biggest story of the last five years?
I'll show you my reports.
Let me see their reports because their reports are fucking garbage.
How about let's see their work on the Syria gas attacks?
I can show you my work on the Syrian gas attacks.
Let me see their fucking work on the Syrian gas attacks.
Let me see their work on the hacks of the DNC server.
I can show you my work on that and let me show you their work.
And it's much better.
So it seems like any subject I decide to devote my attention to, I can do a much better job than the intercept does.
And that's how shitty they are.
That's not how good I am.
That's how shitty they are on fucking purpose because they're an establishment rag punded by a billionaire who is a pro-Democrat, pro-establishment, and he wants his reporters to manufacture consent.
And that's exactly what they do willingly.
Am I anything you disagree with in that?
No.
And the through line is, is that on all those stories where they've been weak, those are the stories that require the most courage.
That's right.
So, you know, it's very easy right now to, you know, only a complete monster at this point supports the Israeli occupation of the West Bank in Gaza.
Like only the, you know, far-right Israel supporters still support that.
Everyone else knows and the progressive world knows that what's going on there.
So it's great if you cover it.
It's cool.
Do it.
But it's not like it requires much courage anymore.
At one point, it did require courage, you could argue.
But, you know, that's a non-controversial issue.
The issues, you know, and same with Yemen.
Everyone knows it's a mass murder genocide in Yemen.
But on the issues that require backbone, like, for example, Russia Gate, being told every single day that Russia is destroying our democracy with its social media memes and that the Trump campaign engaged in a conspiracy and that Russia put bounties on the heads of U.S. troops in Afghanistan and on and on and on and on and on.
Stories like that.
Or stories like Bashar al-Assad used chemical gas against his own people.
And that's why we have to bomb Syria.
And after we bomb Syria, we have to put murderous sanctions on it and occupy one-third of its territory and keep the country in ruins.
Okay.
Those stories actually require some courage.
And when you step out of line, like you have, and like my colleagues at the Gray Zone have, you get viciously attacked.
And so you'd think that of all the places that would be leading the pack in actually being adversarial would be a website that has all the money in the world and all the institutional protection in the world and that brands itself as being adversarial.
But the intercept has done the exact opposite, where it's required courage.
They've been subservient instead to the narrative.
Narratives that they should have been challenging, they've been promoting.
And that's Russia Gate.
That's Syria.
That's now China where we're hearing talk of genocide in Xinjiang.
That was forced to vote when you actually were trying to pressure progressives to put their money where their mouth is.
And everybody just fell in line.
Everyone fell in line to attacking the progressives and not stepping up.
And it's just, I don't mind if you don't step up, but don't attack those who do.
That's the issue here.
Yeah, don't try to, what's the saying?
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.
Right.
Don't tell me you didn't cover Russia Gate because it was boring to you.
Just say, because I would have gotten out and never got this fucking job.
Or don't say anything.
That's just, come on.
See, what offends me the most is when people piss on my leg and tell me it's boring.
That's just that.
That is egregious.
And that's what's happening here.
That's why this is so offensive because he's pissing on your leg and telling you it's boring.
That is exactly what's happening.
And, you know, just, you know, again, that's not my, that's not like my cousin saying that.
That's not like an actor saying that.
That's like a big shot reporter now over at the intercept, just publicly bullshitting about the relevance of the story.
You know, he does it.
So it's just like, hey, my credibility is situational.
Certainly I don't have any in this situation.
I'm a bullshitter when it serves me, just like a politician.
I'm just a big bullshitter as a politician when it serves me.
Yet I called myself a journalist.
And that's why it's fun for me, a fucking nightclub comedian, to be able to point like shit like this out.
It's just like, it doesn't take, you know, journalism doesn't take a lot of character.
They'll do a great job when it's easy, when it takes absolutely no balls, because most journalists are fucking nutless wonders.
And the ones who do have courage, like Glenn Greenwald, they all smear because they're jealous of him because they'll never do the work.
They'll never.
He's broken the two biggest stories of our generation and they'll never even come close.
Why?
Because they don't have the fucking guts to do it.
This is why he'll never be Glenn Greenwald.
This is why right here, right here.
Because I didn't say anything, Pierre.
I didn't say, I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
That's exactly what this is.
And I have the freedom in my garage to do better work on Russia than the people at the intercept.
And Ken, you can watch if you'd like to know what's happening in Russia or with Russia Gate.
You can watch our show because you'll never find it out at the fucking intercept or the Young Turks or the New York Times or MSNBC or The Nation or wherever the fuck else you want to go.
You know where you'll get it?
You'll get it at Grey Zone, the Jimmy Door show, Secular Talk, and maybe Matt Taibbi.
And, you know, look, I wouldn't care so much about this tweet if it was not part of a larger trend.
But it is.
There was a huge trend where you saw, you know, other people at the intercept, like Mehdi Hassan, who used his platform at the intercept with its adversarial branding, pretending to be against the establishment to Russia gate any chance he could.
Yeah.
You know, and constantly attacking those of us who push back on it.
You know, and what did he do?
He used that as a springboard to get on MSNBC, the leading Russia gate disinformation network.
And so that's what I don't like.
I don't mind if you're not talking about a story.
It's fine.
You know, RussiaGate or Syria, whatever.
It's not for everybody.
But don't use your supposed adversarial credentials to then try to shit on those who are actually being adversarial on these key issues.
It's disingenuous and it's slimy.
And I have no doubt that Ken will continue to do great stuff.
He does.
Like he's just had a series of great exposés about Amazon.
So I don't want to take away from anything that he does.
I just don't appreciate, again, him trying to take away from the work that others have done on issues that he has not addressed and not addressed purposely, I think, because they would impact his career chances.
As you can see at the intercept, where if you drink the Kool-Aid on Russia Gate, you get published.
If you drink the Kool-Aid on Syria, you get published.
Anybody who doesn't get pushed out.
In the case of Glenn Greenwald, he had to quit.
He had to quit his own outlet because they were publishing things about Hunter Biden's laptop possibly being Russian disinformation.
And then when he tried to look at the actual facts of that story, they wouldn't let him.
And we're actually trying to fact check him with people who are pushing out that bullshit line about the Hunter Laptop story.
So, you know, and meanwhile, the intercept, you know, they talk about how they defend whistleblowers.
The biggest whistleblowing story of the past year at least, if not longer, is the Syria OPCW cover-up scam.
And they won't cover it.
And they won't cover it.
Coming up is investigators.
I can show you my coverage of that.
I can't show you the intercept's coverage of it because it doesn't exist.
You know why?
That's probably because it's boring.
You don't acknowledge these whistleblowers' existence.
But come on, Aaron.
Whistleblowers are boring.
They're boring.
I'd much rather cover Job Amazon.
I'd much rather cover a Freedom of Information release on the Come on.
Whistleblowers that debunk the reason why we bombed a country twice.
Super boring.
Super boring.
By the way, Mehdi Hassan blocked me over Syria.
I'm blocked on Twitter from Mehdi because I was pointing out he was that, by the way, he was shitting on Seymour Hirsch.
Of course he was.
Mehdi Hassan was shitting on Seymour Hirsch.
Again, that's what these people do.
They shit on journalists who are way, way better than they will ever be.
And so they try to tear them down.
Seymour Hirsch, Mehdi Hassan isn't fit to piss on his leg about that.
I'm so glad you raised that because that is another curious trait of this class of journalists we're talking about.
So you have those who drank the Kool-Aid on RussiaGate.
Then you had those who said nothing out of careerist cowardice.
And then you have those who are so motivated to drink the Kool-Aid that they'll throw under the bus, not just whatever, people like me.
Okay, fine, you know, whatever.
Like I've only been in the game a couple of years.
I haven't done that much.
See, we're talking about Seymour Hirsch here.
This guy's broken every single major story you can think of, won all the awards, multiple books.
He's been around forever.
He's a legend.
And you have people who feel confident to diss Seymour Hirsch because they don't like the fact that he is undermining the pro-war narrative in Syria.
It's pretty unbelievable.
And by the way, Seymour Hirsch, he constantly gets vindicated.
He got vindicated on the Osama bin Laden story when he reported that bin Laden, you know, the details of how the U.S. got bin Laden, that actually there was a walk-in in Pakistan, a source told the U.S. there.
And Saudi Arabia was actually helping to pay to keep bin Laden where he was.
All that was corroborated later on.
Same with Syria, where Hirsch reported a bunch of stuff about the alleged chemical attack in Ghouta, completely vindicated afterwards.
And of course, do these people ever acknowledge that?
No.
No.
No, they'll never acknowledge.
How many times were you smeared on Twitter as an Assad apologist or Tulsi Gabbitt or me?
I was smeared by that as people who work for the Young Turks as they were pushing another evidence-free conspiracy theory in Syria about the gas attacks at the Young Turks.
They were smearing me on Twitter for actually debunking that fucking thing and calling me a conspiracy theorist.
That's the kind of journalism you get at the Young Turks and the intercept.
Mehdi Hassan blocked me for my coverage on Syria for pointing out that he was wrong about Seymour Hirsch.
And so anyway, that's.
And listen, Jimmy, the people who smear critics of war and just factual reporters on war as Assadists or if we were talking about the Iraq war back in 2002, 2003, as Saddam lovers, the people who do that and the people who get scared and cater to that by saying nothing and then tacitly dissing those who do push back, as we're talking about here, the people who say nothing actually do a huge disservice.
It's not just that you say nothing and there's no consequence.
What you're actually signaling is that these smear tactics work.
And I saw that with Syria, where Max Blumenthal, Ben Norton, Ronnie Akolik, my colleagues, they were constantly vilified as dictator lovers and genocide apologists, all this crap.
And all they were doing was factually documenting that the CIA and its allies were pouring billions of dollars into a dirty war.
And that was benefiting mostly Al-Qaeda and ISIS, which is exactly what U.S. officials, including Joe Biden, have admitted in their own words.
Joe Biden apologized for admitting that.
The difference with him and the gray zone is a gray zone is unapologetic about speaking the truth.
And for that, my colleagues got totally attacked, and he creates this chill factor.
It works.
And the fact that they could do that with Russia Gate.
Yep.
Not just the biggest national security scandal of recent memory, but also the dumbest.
It was so fucking stupid.
This idea of Russian memes brainwashing millions of Americans and there being a secret conspiracy.
It even worked there.
It even worked to intimidate people there.
So if it works there, it can work with almost anything.
And it will.
It will continue to do that so long as you have people not willing to speak up and push back.
If I could, I like how you fit in pushback right at the end there.
That was nice.
Pushback.
On purpose.
But here, I was just, as you were talking, I was thinking, I wanted to rewrite this tweet, and I would say there's a much simpler reason why I never covered Russia's stuff.
I'm a nutless careerist, and I wouldn't have got hired, but a big tip of the hat should go to people who actually did have the balls to cover it.
I will always respect them.
That would have been a nice tweet, right?
It would have, but, you know, in my case, I don't even care about getting acknowledgement.
I just don't.
When I see, though, you know, the topic being insulted, and when I see this cowardly way to justify avoiding covering it, that's what.
That is appreciated.
That is a way.
Yeah.
All right.
So there we go.
And Ken Klippenstein is going to have a wonderful career at the billionaire-funded intercept, never pushing back against his editors or the establishment narratives.
So that's fantastic.
Good for him.
Good for him.
He's going to have a great career.
He's going to have a nice house.
His kids are going to go to private schools.
He's going to be taking European vacations.
Everything's going to be great for him.
He's working for Pierre Omadar.
Omidiar.
Is that how you say it Omidiar?
I always keep, I say it wrong.
You were saying it right during the thing.
Oh, thank you.
So congratulations.
So congratulations to Ken.
And I look forward to reading his next article.
Hey, Senator Mitt Romney's on the phone.
Hello, Mitt.
Hi.
Hi, Jimmy.
Mitt Romney here.
United States Senator from the great state of Mass.
I mean, Utah.
Husband, father, grandfather, godfather, uncle, second cousin, once removed, dog owner, hamster lover, bird aficionado, avid model builder, stamp collector, ham radio operator, and loyal brother.
What's happening, buddy?
Puzzle maniac, puppet master, amateur carpenter, weekend grease monkey, lover of all things golf, tennis, and badminton, parrot fancier, and expert collector of vintage license plates.
Do you have any hobbies, Jimmy?
Yeah, I have one in particular that interests me.
Yes, I do.
Boring.
I'm calling because my wife Ann and I join with all Americans in offering our hopes and prayers to the families of whomever was shot and or killed by whomever today or this fiscal quarter and so forth.
That's very touching, Mitt.
And the same goes for anybody who might be in the hospital because they hate a can of tainted peaches.
But that's not important right now, Jimmy, because I'm calling to tell you about my important new plan or act.
You have an important new plan?
What is it?
Oh, it's not just a new plan, Jimmy.
It's a new bill or act or something that would go through Congress somehow and get passed and become law.
I'm not familiar with all the details of democracy yet, but I did write this plan of mine.
It's all about securing the American family.
You know how important a family is, Jimmy.
I bet you were even part of one at one point in your life.
There's nothing more fundamental to the security of this nation than family security.
You'll never guess what it's called.
The Family Security Act?
You fucking asshole.
told you.
I guessed it.
Well, you're very clever, my friend.
Anyway, my plan is known as the Family Security Act.
There was some confusion that we should call it the Family Security Plan instead, since it's a plan.
Or maybe the Family Security Plan Act.
What do you think?
Why is your Family Security Act so important to you, Mitt?
It's obvious, Jimmy.
In order for our civilization to maintain itself, in order for our society to survive, we simply must produce more resource-sucking shit machines.
Resource-sucking shit machines.
That's a technical term, yes.
It's of the utmost urgency, Jimmy.
Our nation's birth rate has been dangerously declining for over 20 years straight.
Wow.
How do you think?
Why do you think that is, Mitt?
I've done a lot of personal research on this subject, and the only conclusion I can draw is Americans are really bad at humping.
Well, what are the details of your plan?
Every family would get a $250 a month per child allowance for five children up to $15,000 a year.
According to the official Romney algorithm method, that comes to around $62 per hump per week, depending on your woman's fertility quality.
The whole purpose is to strengthen the family by paying females to stay at home and pump out babies.
Mitt, that sounds really sexist and heartless.
Do you think women will go for this?
Well, of course they will.
It's deficit neutral.
How?
By getting rid of food stamps and outlawing abortion.
Why?
I don't know, Mitt.
Sounds kind of like the handmaid's tale.
Oh, nonsense.
Horse hockey.
In the handmaid's tale, the women never got paid.
And don't worry, guys.
My aunt provides time-tested guidelines for performing the act through a series of helpful pamphlets I've compiled titled Mitt's Tips on Doing It, Humping with Mitt.
Let's fuck with Mitt.
And remember me on the downstroke, Mitt Romney's Guide for Turning Your Woman into a Human Salad Shooter.
Illustrated.
Well, good luck with that, Mitt.
And thanks for calling.
Thank you ever so much, Jimmy.
Now let's make some babies.
Oh, Jimmy, one more thing.
What's that?
Go fuck yourself, you shameful turd muncher.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcompedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Hi, everybody.
I'm here with Ron Placone and Aaron Mate, world famous Russia Gate debunker.
And the reason why we have him with us is because this story is in the news.
This is from CNN.
It says Biden is keeping Trump's pick for Moscow ambassador in place.
What?
Wait a second.
That guy's a Putin puppet.
Why would Biden keep him in place?
QA.
Hitop talk to him.
Wait, let's wait for it.
You know what?
Let's wait for the Mueller report.
So let me just, here's what Max Blumenthal said.
He said, because Putin clearly had compromised on Trump, subverting U.S. policy under the influence of malign Russian interests, Biden is keeping Trump's ambassador to Moscow in place.
So Max is just a little too clever for his own because most people aren't going to understand what he's saying.
And so I'll have to explain it to you.
He's making fun.
He's saying that, well, Putin had all this compromising material on Trump, which is why everybody in Trump's administration was working for Russia.
Why would you keep that guy?
Oh, my God, blah, blah, blah.
So that proves that this RussiaGate stuff was complete bullshit.
Here, just let me get through the story.
The Biden administration recently decided to keep the Trump-appointed U.S. ambassador on the job in Moscow for the foreseeable future.
In other words, RussiaGate was a four-year theater show.
That's what that is.
John Sullivan has been on the job for almost a year and a half.
He is viewed by the Biden administration officials as a steady hand as the administration.
Trump's fucking ambassador to Russia for a year and a half is somehow not compromised.
And he can work.
He's a steady hand.
So somehow a guy who's not compromised was working for Trump who was compromised.
What?
That doesn't, does that make any sense to you, Aaron?
Well, it makes sense if you can escape the Russiagate cult, which, and it's very simple, that really, while Democrats and their media allies were committing themselves that Trump was a secret Russian agent, Trump was presiding over the continuation of the bipartisan U.S. foreign policy consensus, which is hawkish confrontation with Russia to help basically help justify our ridiculous military spending.
And everyone was ignoring all those dangerous things Trump was actually doing because it undermined the narrative.
And that's another example here.
This undermines the narrative that Trump's Russia policy was doing Putin's bidding because here Biden is keeping on Trump's ambassador.
And of course, that connection will never get made because it undermines the narrative.
And our media exists not to cover facts, but in this case, to push influence narratives.
Basically to do our media exist to do exactly what they constantly accuse Russia of doing.
Which is waging a disinformation campaign against the American public.
To sow discord and divisiveness.
That's right.
I don't know.
This all makes perfect sense to me, actually.
Clearly, you guys didn't see the Rachel Maddow spiderweb map that I saw the other night.
Because you can, if you see that map, you will see that John Sullivan is not in the web.
No web, no problem.
End of story.
I love how they say they're going to keep John Sullivan on as the ambassador to Russia because he's seen as a steady hand.
Unlike the sleight of, and just like that, and then unlike sleight of hand, which just made the last four years of conspiracy theory go poof.
Like the power grid.
Yeah, just like the power.
There's more to this story from CNN.
The Biden administration has already made it clear that they will break from President Donald Trump's approach to Russia.
Trump famously said he believed Putin believed Putin that Russia did not seek to interfere in the 2016 U.S. president election, despite a finding from U.S. intelligence agencies that it did.
Jesus Christ.
Please ignore how generous we're being with the word interfered.
These moves come as Biden is currently weighing a package of sanctions and other moves in response to a U.S. intelligence review of Russia's malign actions, including election interference.
This should be filed under huge waste of money and time.
That's what that was.
Senior administration officials have met over the last week to discuss the potential response, which the White House has also said would include an unseen component.
Meaning we'll make it up later.
Officials now are weighing how the potential new sanctions and other punishments might provoke further escalation.
So back to you, Aaron.
Anything you would like to add to this?
It's just ridiculous.
Again, if you still believe in Russia Gate after Joe Biden keeps Trump's ambassador to Russia in his cabinet, you are a dupe of the highest order.
Go ahead.
If you look at the history of lobbying of Congress and you look at some of the key moments of the highest amount of expenditures, you will see near the top, if not at the very top, one of the most lucrative moments on lobbying was when the Congress was weighing to expand NATO.
Why?
Because that was a boon for weapons manufacturers.
Increased hostility to Russia is dangerous for the world because we're talking about ramping up tensions between the top nuclear powers.
But it's very profitable for those who profit from war.
And it's also, accordingly, very profitable for this class of think tanks in D.C. who basically take government officials once they get voted out of office or their term expires and gives them these sinecures as fellows, senior fellows, and gives them basically these fancy titles to just come up with talking points about why we have to keep spending money on weapons.
And that is who all this is done to appease.
These people who are driving these policies come from that world and they'll go back to that world after their time in government is done.
And on the occasion when there's someone who deviates slightly from the consensus, like there's a report in Axios yesterday that Biden is considering appointing someone to the National Security Council who believes in engagement with Russia, you know, having negotiations, arms control treaties, all these things that by the way, Trump destroyed.
The New Star Treaty, he basically killed until Biden renewed it.
He killed the open skies treaty, killed the INF treaty.
So someone who wants to re-engage with those treaties, he's being considered for a job.
And the Beltway is freaking out.
And they're calling them a Putin puppet and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And that's because there are people who profit from war.
And that's what these policies are there to serve.
And the narrative is so thin.
The best that they can come up with is these undefined election interference allegations.
Like this latest intelligence report that came out a few weeks ago, it didn't even specify their evidence for all their claims about this Russian influence campaign in 2020.
And they invented a whole Bunch of other claims about Russia possibly producing a documentary about Joe Biden.
And it's all fiction, but the aim is to justify aggression towards Russia and also to taint any criticism of favored domestic elites.
So you can't criticize Hillary Clinton's corruption or Joe Biden's son getting a lucrative energy board company seat in Ukraine because all that is Russian disinformation.
So it's just an influence narrative aimed at the American public using Russia as their boogeyman.
Actually, we tried to make documentary, but it was just footage of him eating oatmeal the whole time.
Scratch project.
Well, that's really interesting stuff, Aaron.
But you know what I say?
Boring.
You guys are good, man.
You guys never miss a callback.
laughter So here's a headline that's making a lot of people upset.
This is from The Hill.
It says, progressives fight over leverage amid ever slimming majority.
Democrats will need near total cooperation among everyone in their House and Senate caucuses to pass any bills on their own without GOP support.
That's an interesting article headline.
Progressives fight for leverage.
First sentence, everyone has leverage.
That's what everyone, what?
Progressives fight for leverage.
Everyone, every one of them has leverage.
Every Democrat, they now need your vote.
They now need your vote.
It means only a handful of Democrats can hold up a bill.
It also means that they will be all under more pressure than ever to stick together.
Who wrote this at the Hill?
Did they watch the Jimmy Door show?
I think they did.
You watch the Jimmy Door show late November and now decide in April to write this article.
Are you shitting me?
You're writing this article now?
Who the fuck wrote this article?
Scott Wong.
Scott Wong and Christina.
It always takes two people to write something like this.
Really?
I could have wrote this fucking in my sleep.
It means only a handful of Democrats can hold up a bill.
Okay.
That handful could be progressives holding out for things that actually help people.
That could be.
We have really thin margins, says Representative Dan Kildie, Democrat from Michigan, the Democrats' chief deputy whip and a member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus.
We have really thin margins, meaning the progressives have all the leverage in the world and they're not going to use it.
But you know who will?
Joe Manchin.
Kristen Sinema will.
Given the party's razor-thin margins, Kildie is offering this advice to his colleagues: keep your powder dry.
And I would like to find how big do you think the room is where the progressives keep their powder dry?
How big is that fucking room?
I'm going to say it's a couple of football fields, couple of football fields wide.
Holy shit, keep your powder dry.
House Democrats already started the year with the thinnest majority in generations.
Before three members resigned to join Biden's administration and the death of Representative LC Hastings of Florida last week, Democrats only could lose up to four of their own votes.
Holy shit!
Since Democrats took back control of the House in 2018, the 92-member progressive caucus led by chairweb and Pramila Jayapel has not been following the model of the conservative House Freedom Caucus.
No, they haven't.
You mean they haven't been fighting for anything?
They've been going along with their leadership.
Asked why progressives have not flexed their political muscle more and threatened to kill Democratic bills to get more of their priorities.
One progressive House aide replied, Democrats believe in government.
What's the cost benefit of blowing up a bill?
What's the cost of abandoning all the policies you guys were elected on?
Interesting how corporate Democrats have the opposite approach that progressives do.
Corporate Democrats always turn the screws on the established, on their leadership, not the establishment, on their leadership.
Hey, the squad can't do this.
They only have four people.
The squad can't do this.
They only have six people.
The squad can't do this.
They're only 12 people.
Hey, the squad can't do this.
They're only 30 people.
The excuse will always be the same.
And people will keep dying.
Remember what Ilhan Omar tweeted out?
She said, yes, we can with a slim Democratic majority in the next Congress.
Anything can be possible.
It will literally take five courageous progressives, members to get concessions on progressive policy.
Now it's just four.
It's just four.
So you, Jay of Powell, AOC, and anyone else, pick one.
Pick Mark Pocan.
Pick Jamal Bowman.
Pick Corey Bush.
Pick Rokana.
Pick Ayanna Presley.
Pick some anybody.
You got it.
You guys have all the power and they're not going to use it.
But you know why?
Because they want to make Jenk Uger and Ryan Grimm look like fucking dickheads and they want to make Jimmy Doer look like a genius.
I can't think of any other reason why they wouldn't do this, but that's the result.
They're making those guys look like complete and utter dickheads.
And they're making me look like a genius.
And I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Oh, here, speaking of guy looking like a dickhead, here he is.
He's tweeting this out after saying we shouldn't criticize them after lovingly begging them to do something.
Jenk Uger tweets out this article and says, this is signaling near complete surrender of progressives in Congress.
And the reporters barely noticed.
Oh, Jake Uger's on it, though, now.
He's only six months late to the party, but he's on it now.
Those shitty reporters over at the Hill, they couldn't figure it out, huh?
The headline is exact opposite of reality.
Not asking for big progressive priorities means you definitely will not get them.
Worst strategy ever.
First of all, you don't need to put near.
This is signaling complete surrender, not near complete.
This is complete surrender.
But I like that Jenk Uger is now on board with the Jimmy Door and finally has the clarity to see the situation in the House of Representatives for what it was, the same situation we saw last November.
Here at the Jimmy Door show, what he's talking about, we saw last November, and then he worked to undermine us when we were saying these things.
Up until five seconds ago, now Jenk Uger's on board with the Jimmy Dore show.
Isn't that something?
TYT is now on board with the Jimmy Dore show.
This is violence, Jenk.
Does Jenk have a problem with women of color?
I think he does.
I think he has a problem with women of color.
Jenkins, he's well-known sexist.
Everyone knows Jenk's a well-known sexist.
That's why Bernie had to unendorse him.
That's why the Justice Democrats fired him.
That's why Bernie unendors him.
Everyone knows he's a sexist who has a problem with women of color.
Obviously, that's what this is.
It's almost as if, holy shit, progressives aren't going to win a fucking thing unless they apply political leverage.
Huh.
Force the vote.
Hey, Jenk is always late to the party.
Laugh my ass off.
Guys, I don't think they actually have WMDs.
Guys.
And of course, here's Jimmy Door's tweet about it.
And let me just bring in my panel to talk about it.
I have Aaron Matei, world-famous comedian, along with world-famous comedian Ron Placone.
Award-winning journalists, Ron Plico.
I'm sorry, award-winning journalists.
Now, award-winnings, do you guys think that the reporters at the Hill just missed the story?
Or what do you think?
What do you think?
I think what's happening here always happens.
You have people who point out the obvious from the start.
In this case, you.
You were calling a long time ago for progressives to actually use the leverage they have, starting with the vote to elect the speaker.
And then, you know, at the time, similar to what we're talking about before, where people are just too cowardly to step up and state the obvious and fight for what is right and fight for what is achievable.
People sort of coward, but then six months later, when things sort of tail off and the true face of the Democratic Party becomes even more visible, then it's safer to state the obvious.
So this is just people joining the party late, as always.
This is just Jenkin Uger and TYT being more nutless wonders running interference for the establishment and their favorite politicians while taking 24 million in corporate cash.
That's exactly what this is.
By the way, so Jenk Uger saying this on April 12th, look what he was saying on March 29th.
I'm shocked by this.
I want to give Senator Schumer tremendous credit for this.
First time I'm beginning to believe he actually wants to pass the $15 minimum wage.
That was March 29th.
He was believing Ryan Grimm's bullshit article that Chuck Schumer was going to try to pass the $15 minimum wage.
He was retweeting it credulously and then giving props to Schumer.
And here he is just what?
13 days later going, this is complete surrender.
What part, how long is it going to take you to figure this out, Jank?
Just 13 days ago, you had no idea that the Democrats were against all this shit?
And then it took 13 days later for you to figure that out?
Are you being dumb on purpose?
It's amazing how many people's paychecks depended on them not understanding how leverage works.
I'm just waiting for the day when Jenk posts that tweet.
I still hate Jimmy Doerr, but I have to admit he was right.
You know, Jimmy, which reminds me, speaking of minimum wage, remember when AOC was telling us that the reason they couldn't use leverage to fight for a floor vote on Medicare for all is because they were going to save it for the $15 minimum wage?
That just happened recently.
And they didn't do it.
They didn't do it.
Have you ever had like a friend in your life, or maybe not friends, the wrong word, but like someone in your life?
And I'm sure like a journalism you have, and God knows in show business we do all the time where it's like they want to do all these things and they have these project ideas and then slowly but surely you realize they're a complete bullshitter where it's like, yeah, no, no, we're going to, we're going to do this script.
I got this funding.
I got this investor.
He's at HBO and I'm telling you.
And then like a couple months later, you realize like, oh, no, there was no, there was no funding.
There was no nothing.
That's how I feel whenever I hear these things like, no, we're going to fight for the $15 this way.
No, we're going to use our leverage this way.
I feel that same way where it's like, oh, shit, I need to block your number.
You're so full of shit.
I can't do this anymore.
Like, that's how I feel about our government.
No, this is going to work.
My cousin has, we have a meeting set up with a guy from Showtime.
He used to work at Showtime.
We have a meeting that definitely set up.
Where is this meeting?
It's at an IHOP on Sunset Boulevard.
Okay, I don't think that's a real meeting.
Then you show up at noon and the person's already drunk and they're like, he had to cancel last minute.
I'm so angry at him.
And then they're on the phone.
They're like, why did you cancel our meeting?
You're like, bro, I can hear the dial tone from here.
You're not talking to anybody.
There's no one on the other line.
You know what's nice when those things, I remember when you get those phone calls and they actually pan out.
Like, I remember Butch Bradley called me in like 1997 or 8 or something.
And he was like, hey, I'm going to shoot a comedy special.
Do you want to be part of it at the Laugh Factory?
I got a bunch of money from this guy.
And I'm like, you're full of shit.
He wasn't.
He got a bunch of money.
He hired a fucking crew.
He paid us all way too much money.
And we got to shoot a special.
It was fucking awesome.
It was awesome.
Butch Bradley.
I should send that guy a birthday gift every year.
Why don't I?
Oh, former Secretary of Energy Rick Perry is on the phone.
Hello, Rick.
Alexa, I command you to please call the Jimmy Dore show for to whom I will impart the great wisdom I have learned from my former Office of Sector of Energy, Electricity, and all things atomic and nuclear.
Hey, hey, Rick, this is Jimmy Dore.
Thank you for your service, Alexa.
And greetings, Jimmy Dore.
Have you heard the good news?
The Japanese are going to pour 1.3 gazillion tons of nuclear radioactive water into the ocean.
Right in the, I know, I know, right in the ocean.
Here I was worried they wouldn't find a place to put it.
They're going to dump it right in the ocean.
It's terrible news.
Why?
Because you can't just dump a million tons of radioactive water into the ocean, Rick.
Fake news.
We're going to put all of it through one of those water pitchers.
Yeah.
And then some guy's going to pour it one gallon at a time off the Fukushima pier so it will diversify into the current of all time into the great majesties of the ocean.
It's radioactive, Rick.
It's full of tritium.
It'll kill sea life.
Who knows what it'll do worldwide?
Tritium is just one of those big word things invented to scare people because it was banned in 1998 and glows in the dark and gives you cancer.
Yeah, and that's not good, Rick.
That's bad.
Oh, contrarian, Pierre.
Quite the opposite is the reality.
For by pouring 1.3 gajillion tons of radioactive water into the water of the ocean, it will help energize with our world's dapplated food sources.
Yeah.
Jimmy, imagine being able to grow seaweed with three eyes instead of one.
The possibilities are endless.
Rick, why would anybody want seaweed with three eyes?
Because they glow in the dark.
Think of it.
Hey, I lost my keys and it's dark.
Somebody get the three-eyed seaweed out of the refrigerator.
Think how many electricities Americans could save in each energy sector with glow-in-the-dark three-eyed seaweeds.
The future is not tomorrow, Jimmy, for it is in the present, now.
And what was the future is now a thing with no name.
So I will call it the now.
It's three eyes or nothing at the Rick Perry dinner table.
Hey, China and South Korea say it's extremely irresponsible to dump this water.
That is so nonsensical.
The Empire of Japanese has sworn on their honor to dilute the amount of tritium to 60,000 becquerels per liter.
A becquerel is a big word, I know.
So let me unpack it for you.
There is nothing to worry about.
One becquerel is equal to just two dental x-rays.
It's not so bad, I guess.
Every minute for the rest of your life.
Okay, well, that's terrible, Rick.
So I urge all Americans to stay calm and do not panic, especially with the Lord Jesus Father, Dad, God, looking down and guiding us through our joint journey with his big glow and the dark flashlight, which, by the way, is not suggestive of anything.
Goodbye for now, Jimmy Dore.
Drink the tritium water and keep burning your natural gas for the benefits of all humanities.
For our future is now, and a president is ahead of us via Condito's amigo.
Wow.
I'm here with Ron Placone and Aaron Matte, the world-famous Russia Gate debunker.
Guess what?
Joe Biden has announced, this is from the AP, President Joe Biden will leave the United States troops in Afghanistan beyond the May 1st deadline that was negotiated with the Taliban by Donald Trump.
An official says Biden has set the 20th anniversary of the September 11th text as the new withdrawal date.
Wow, that's not creepy at all.
Let's ring in the 9-11 anniversary with a parting gift.
What in the F and F that is 20 years later, countless lives lost and trillions spent, and we finally gotten the message.
Might as well wait for the day that started all this, though.
Why wait?
Why not just do it now?
We're going to get out about seven.
Why not now?
Ah, you can't just stop killing people willy-nilly.
That's not safe.
Somebody might get hurt.
Barack Obama tweeted this out in October 2012.
Vice President on Afghanistan.
We are leaving in 2014.
Period.
Period.
And can I tell you something?
He didn't even bother deleting that tweet.
He didn't even bother deleting that tweet.
Maybe September 2021.
But you know the thing, President Biden.
That's what Biden would say.
Hey, there you go.
I'm sure, Joe Biden, this is what I think about when Joe Biden tells us we're leaving Afghanistan.
Hey, remember how no one in Afghanistan caused 9-11, but we invaded them anyway?
Good times.
Good times.
Yeah.
Hey, CNN politics is reporting concerns mount that the United States withdrawal from Afghanistan could risk progress on women's rights.
Of course.
It's about women.
Imperialism for women's rights is the new greening of the military.
By the way, September, September, that's plenty of time for a new excuse to pop up or to find other places to send those troops.
But here it is.
Concerns mount that U.S. troops.
So if we stop killing people in Afghanistan, it's going to hurt women's rights.
By the way, Biden just proposed $753 billion.
That's an increase of about $20 billion from last year.
Remember, he said he couldn't, he couldn't reduce, he couldn't relieve $50 billion.
If he was going to release $50 billion in student debt, you're going to have to have town halls and committee meetings and all kinds of discussions and op-eds.
But if you want to add $20 billion to the budget of bombs that we don't need, nothing just happens like that.
Nobody even, did you hear anybody even scream about it?
Did Bernie scream about it?
Did AOC scream about it?
No, they didn't say a fucking thing.
Just in time for the new Pentagon budget.
Yeah, there you go.
The United States is increasingly concerned by recent escalating Russian aggressions in eastern Ukraine, including Russian troop movements on Ukraine's border.
Russia now has more troops on the border with Ukraine than at any time since 2014.
Five Ukrainian soldiers have been killed this week alone.
These are all deeply concerning signs.
And so what do you know?
Biden's going to give them $20 billion more.
Why?
Because Russia, Russia has a GDP smaller than California.
But they will use Russia to justify $753 billion, which is roughly 10 times more than all the 10 next countries combined.
Go ahead, check my math on that.
I hope you do.
And write an article about how it's wrong.
Go ahead.
Please do.
Check my method.
Jimmy Doer said it was 10 times more than the 10.
It's actually just more than the 10 most lagma did.
Oh, that's much better.
Yeah, it's not 10 times more than the 10.
It's just more than the 10 times 10.
The Pentagon can account for $21 trillion, and that's not a typo.
For $21 trillion, that's not a typo.
That's from 2018.
That's from Truth Mother F and Dig.
Hey, the Pentagon has authority.
That's remarkable.
It is.
Go ahead, Ron.
It's just like, hey, where are my keys or my $21 trillion?
Has anyone seen it around?
It's got to be around here somewhere.
Check the couch cushion.
Boy, I've lost some shit when I was high, but I don't think I would ever lose $21 trillion.
You never lost.
Even if I was smoking the Maui Waui, I don't think I would lose $21 trillion.
I think I would know where that was at.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, I put it in my toilet tank.
You'd make a sticky note so you don't forget it at the very least.
$21 trillion.
I got to keep tabs on that.
You wrap the $21 trillion up.
You wrap it up in a plastic baggie and you put it in the back of the toilet tank, just like when you bring home a grill, you don't know that well.
Come on.
I'm trying to get Aaron to laugh.
He's not even listening.
I am listening.
And I was chuckling.
He only laughs at callbacks.
I know.
So now we have to call that back.
That's true.
Callback exclusive.
Boy, when you cannot laugh in my face that hard, that is fucking, that's painful.
All right, let's go back to what's happening here in the sketch.
The Pentagon's $35 trillion accounting black hole.
$35 trillion accounting black hole.
Wow.
We give the Pentagon $2 billion a day.
We should not be doing that.
That's public citizen.
So there's Biden's Afghanistan War, Aaron.
What do you make of that story from CNN?
Look, if Biden follows through on it, I'll be the first to apply.
We should know a couple of things.
First of all, there was a great report at the Gray Zone recently by Gareth Porter, who reported that actually before Biden did this, Trump signed an order last year calling for a full withdrawal from Afghanistan by the end of the year.
And it was handled with a guy named Douglas McGregor, who was briefly appointed by Trump to a top position at the Pentagon.
And McGregor was going through with this.
But meanwhile, a bunch of top generals went behind his back and basically forced Trump to back down and withdraw the order.
So if not for an intervention by some top-level officials, we actually already would be out of Afghanistan if Trump had gone through with this.
And that was thwarted, which just speaks to how powerful the forces are inside the military to keep U.S. troops in Afghanistan.
Now, I don't know if Biden is bluffing or if he's sincere.
If he is sincere, then he will face, I think, some continued obstruction and some hurdles to doing this.
But look, if he goes through with it, then, you know, again, I will applaud because look, you're talking about women's rights.
If you remember, Laura Bush was trotted out to sell us on the Afghan war before we invaded.
And she was saying that her message was we should invade for the women to help women.
So we have to invade to help women's rights.
And now we can't leave after 20 years to help women's rights.
You know, there are some issues.
When the Soviet Union withdrew in the late 1980s, early 90s, that left a major power vacuum.
And it was taken over by the worst fanatics in the country, the Taliban.
And that led to a lot of just horrific carnage.
And so we do want to avoid that no matter what happens.
And that has to be a part of any withdrawal.
But there's also been continued obstruction.
We've seen so many lies about this war.
If you remember back last fall, nobody really covered this except for you and a few others, but there were all those secret files, interviews with people talking about just all the lies that we were being told about Afghanistan and that commanders were basically inventing false statistics to help justify the occupation there.
They couldn't.
So we're going to see more of that.
They couldn't even delineate between who our friends were and who our enemies were.
They didn't even know who our enemies were in Afghanistan and who was on our side.
They had no idea.
They probably still don't have any idea.
So when you said that has to be part of any withdrawal, what has to be part of any withdrawal with the television?
Well, look, you just have to be mindful of history, where when the Soviets withdrew, it led to something awful.
There was a horrible fighting for control of the country.
The Taliban won.
And, you know, Afghanistan became an even worse place for a lot of people.
So we just like you have to try to avoid a similar outcome like that.
That's all I'm saying.
Not that we shouldn't withdraw.
Right.
That's all.
I'm saying we should withdraw and try our best to avoid that.
But if we can't avoid that, we have to, the Taliban controls more of Afghanistan today than they did when we invaded.
Well, yes.
And they're going to still control parts of Afghanistan.
I'm not saying that they won't, but we want to avoid the kind of like a resumption of an all-out internal war like what happened the last time when the Soviets withdrew.
And I don't know how that could be true, what I said.
How could the Taliban be controlling more of Afghanistan?
Didn't they control all of Afghanistan when we invaded?
I'm not sure.
Well, but the point is that initially the U.S. won some territory.
Right.
Right.
And then they lost it.
And they lost.
Yeah, no, it's been a catastrophe.
And of course, look, what was the aim of that war?
Supposedly, it was to go after Al-Qaeda.
What did it actually do?
At that point in time, Al-Qaeda was basically in two places.
It was in a remote part of Afghanistan and a remote part of neighboring Pakistan.
Where is Al-Qaeda now?
Everywhere.
And that's a result of this war and of its sequel, the Iraq War.
Literally, when we invaded, they had figured out that there was maybe about 80 guys in Al-Qaeda that were still in Afghanistan.
And we continued in occupation for 20 years to fight 80 guys.
We sent the U.S. military to fight 80 guys in Afghanistan.
That was the report.
That was the report of how many they thought, how many Al-Qaeda people were there.
Anyway, it's...
The reason that was rolled out is because that was used to undermine Trump's calls for withdrawal.
That wasn't the only reason, but it was part of it.
And we saw the impact.
Glenn Greenwald covered this very well, where basically a bunch of neocon Democrats joined with Liz Cheney and they passed measures that would make it a lot more difficult to withdraw from Afghanistan.
So we're going to see the same kind of phony deceptions and the same phony talk about respecting women's rights and all this stuff, things that none of these people care about and concern about the Russian bounties to try to slow this down if Biden is actually serious about a full withdrawal.
*Bell rings* Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
This is Brad Pitt.
Oh, hey, Brad Pitt.
How's it going, phone man?
Not bad, Brad.
How are you?
I'm doing all right.
We're gonna call up and see what you're mad about these days.
Well, there's quite a lot to be mad about if you're paying, if you are paying attention, Brad.
I assure you that I am not.
But come on, give me an example.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamorano, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
you be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not.
Do not not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
▲
Export Selection