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April 8, 2021 - Jimmy Dore Show
57:08
20210408_TJDS_20210407_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, it's Bernie Sanders.
Oh, Senator Sanders.
Hello, how are you doing?
Life is nothing but a parade of annoyances and irritations.
Ah, I see.
Good to hear.
Hey, I understand you sort of got into it with Elon Musk recently.
Yeah, on Twitter.
Elon Musk and I had a bit of a tete-tete.
A tete-a-tete.
A mild tet-a-tet, but a tet-a-tete just the same.
Over what?
Well, he's the richest man in the world now.
Uh-huh.
And he says that he's accumulating all this wealth so mankind can colonize Mars or some shit, spread throughout the galaxy, fly around like maniacs, that sort of thing.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
And I said, yeah, space travel's neat, but considering the extreme problems that we have here on this planet, it is obscene to hoard wealth for some hypothetical vision of the future.
People cannot pay their rent in this country, and Buck Rogers over here isn't lifting a finger to help, but instead shooting rockets into space like crazy just to look cool.
Bernie, have you ever been a fan of the space program?
To be honest, not so much.
I was never into it.
I never saw the point.
In the 1960s, the race to go to the moon was nothing but a way to compete with Russia, so to distract from poverty, Vietnam, and the civil rights movement.
That's all it was.
Right?
And yeah, we got to the moon first.
What do we got out of it?
Nothing.
Giant goose egg.
Some stupid rocks.
Some grainy footage of those two morons hopping around.
Hope you're happy.
Hope it was worth it.
But you don't think the exploration of space would be an ultimate good thing for humanity?
Nah, not really.
I don't think so.
Really?
Ah, fuck space.
Let's be honest.
At this point, space travel appeals basically the mad babies who want to make Star Wars real.
Yeah.
I mean, come on, grow up already.
Okay.
All right.
I see.
And even this notion that we should colonize Mars so that humanity has another place to live in case Earth shuts down is just ludicrous.
We're the ones shutting down the Earth.
Why don't we just stop doing that?
You know, it's like if a fire breaks out in an apartment building, instead of calling the fire department, some rich guy says we're going to build another apartment building in the middle of Death Valley so we can all go live there when this one burnts down.
Absolute lunacy.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
So you're saying we should tax Elon Musk.
You bet your ass.
All these billionaires combined have enough wealth to essentially solve every problem on earth.
And they know this.
And rather than doing that, they literally want to fucking leave the earth.
We can't let them do that.
Pay your fair share of taxes.
You'll have plenty left over.
If you don't want to play Captain Kirk after that, be my guest.
Jeff Bezos can get surgery on his ears and be Dr. Spock.
It's Mr. Spock or just Spock.
That's not Dr. Spock.
No, no, that's the guy who wrote the baby book.
But this isn't Spock the science officer.
You're telling me, in order to be the chief science officer of a Federation starship, you don't need a PhD?
Apparently not.
See, that's why this shit is so fucking stupid.
I can't even watch it.
I gotta go, Jimmy.
But remember, space is for losers.
Establishment media sets of arguments fighting.
So good luck.
Bullshit we can't afford.
Why is fomenting this?
Watch and see as it's jack off.
The median speeds and jumps the medium and hits them head on.
It's the Chimmy Tour Show.
*music*
Joe Biden, talking about that border wall.
Want to hear about it?
Here it is.
I did.
No, the Obama-Biden administration.
Trump campaigned on build that wall.
Are you willing to tear that wall down?
No, there will not be another foot of wall constructed in my administration.
Number one.
Number two, what I'm going to focus on and the fact is that somebody in this group written a lot about the border.
I'm going to make sure that we have border protection, but it's going to be based on making sure that we use high-tech capacity to deal with it.
What?
So no?
Longest no ever.
Wow.
So here, well, guess what?
Biden's Department of Homeland Security may resume border wall construction to fix gaps, report says.
So that must be.
Is that the high capacity part, Rod?
Is that what that is?
Must be.
Yeah, apparently.
I'm guessing all those gaps are less than a foot.
That's what he said.
Unless Joe Biden's lying to us, which that would never happen.
That would never happen.
That's from American Military News, by the way.
They're going to fix the gaps in the border wall.
They're going to literally go fix the gaps in the border wall.
Joe Biden is.
And again, why couldn't you just dig right under that?
You just get a shovel and you dig right under that, right?
Isn't that what you do?
You wait till nighttime.
You get a shovel, you dig a hole, and you go right under the fucking thing.
Or you get a ladder and you go over it.
This can't be that hard, right?
Obviously, it's not.
It's not that hard.
People are getting in the fucking country every day.
Secretary Mayorkas told ICE employees that President Biden has left room to make decisions on filling in gaps in the wall.
Maorca said Customs and Border Protection has proposed a plan for the border wall moving forward.
Well, what is it?
The president has communicated that the DOD, Department of Defense funds to the construction of the border wall is ended.
But that leaves room to make decisions as part of the administration, in particular areas of the wall that need renovation.
There's parts of that wall, Ron.
I don't know if you've seen it, but it needs a new kitchen.
It really does.
Parts of that wall, it's like, God, it isn't even a backsplash.
It's like, what are you guys doing?
Anyway.
Some of it needs a green screen.
Yeah.
But that leaves room to make decisions as part of administration.
Partly areas of the wall that need renovation or particular projects that need to be finished.
So you're going to finish parts of the wall that Trump started?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, here's from the New York Times.
Biden should finish the wall, or the next Trump will.
That's by Brett Stevens.
Wow.
That's by Brett Stevens.
So that's that guy they got who's controversial.
The date on that is not April 1st, is it?
No, it's April 5th, 2021.
Incredible.
So that's the logic here, Ron, is do Trump stuff or the next Trump will do it?
What?
Do the Trump stuff so the next Trump doesn't have to do it, basically, is what he's saying.
That is Remarkable.
I mean, that really is remarkable.
I mean, that's like that's the opposite of what politics is supposed to be completely.
Like, that's like, hey, I'm running for XYZ and I'm going to put in a bike lane.
I'm also running for XYZ, and I'm going to make a law that we can punch you in the face whenever we want.
I'm going to go with the bike lane guy.
Oh, a bunch of people went with the bike lane guy.
The bike lane guy won.
Congratulations, bike lane guy.
Where are our bike lanes?
No bike lanes, but turns out everyone can punch you in the face.
Wait a second, that's what we didn't want.
Yeah, but the next person who's like that other guy will do it, so I might as well.
So might as well do it.
This is stupid.
They're pretending to not understand how the most basic politics works, Ron.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
Exactly right.
He said nothing will fundamentally change.
He wasn't messing around.
Cue the woke border wall.
Hey, maybe Liz Warren can green up the wall, make it environmentally.
The wall is made from recycled bombs.
Isn't that nice?
Liz Warren, you know, or maybe we could make it LGBTQ friendly.
Yeah.
Isn't that nice?
No, that's that the colors of the LGBT is that it that's not what that is, is it?
It does.
I actually do like they should paint it.
It does look nice like that.
No federal taxes for dozens of big profitable companies.
FedEx and Nike are among those found to have avoided U.S. tax liability for three straight years.
Doesn't that piss you off, Ryan, when you actually have to pay taxes?
No, I find it thrilling.
I'm glad that my tax dollars help out the struggling mom and pops like FedEx and Nike and Amazon and Walmart.
I feel like I'm doing my part as an American.
When they say home of the free, they mean home of the tax-free, right?
Isn't that what they mean?
If you're rich enough.
If you're rich enough, you're good.
If you're poor, it's not home of the free, believe me.
Prison labor, the whole deal.
At least 55 of Americans' largest corporations paid no taxes last year on billions of dollars in profits.
Hey, why not make it 60 corporate?
Why not?
You want a nice even number.
The sweeping tax bill that was passed in 2017 and signed into law by President Trump, it reduced the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21%.
And now they're fighting to potentially get it back up to 28%.
So that's called the ratchet effect?
What does that cut to do?
I think so.
Yeah.
So that's what you're saying.
Yeah, where it's like you go so far and then you just go a little bit and then so it just keeps so when the Republican gets in he takes it this far and the Democrat gets back in he only takes it back this far and the Republican side takes it that bad and the Democratic so we just keep going further right and further right and further yes yeah that is exactly what has been happening yeah like my entire lifetime yeah both of our lifetimes dozens of fortune 500 companies were able to further shrink their tax bill sometimes to zero thanks to a range of legal deductions
and exemptions that have become staples of the tax code.
Oh, thank God.
Hey, by 2028, they're going to actually get money back, even more than the bailouts.
That's how.
Salesforce, Archer Daniels Midland, and Consolidated Edison were among those named in the report by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy.
By the way, these companies have sales and consolidated right in their name.
Why don't we just have one big company called Corporation, Inc.?
That would make it easier.
And then, honestly, that's what we could just call the country.
Yeah.
The United Corporation of America.
Yep.
26 of the companies listed, including FedEx, Duke Energy, and Nike, were able to avoid paying any federal income tax for the last three years.
Three years, even though they reported a combined income, of $77.
billion dollars many also received millions of dollars in tax rebates and they all i don't know if you know but they all have great business practices too by the way fedex union busters duke energy oh my god poisoning the nike oh that you we all know the nike huh they they everybody's it's quite a list the 2.2 trillion when when uh jim keating went
to uh jim keating went to live like the people with the people who make the nikes he lost 40 pounds i think in a month something like that yeah his i mean he shared a lot of stories on on on the show and yeah that it was hard to listen to i mean it was yeah it was heavy what he was sharing and it was hard to listen to the 2.2 trillion dollar cares act which we called out on this show and no other fucking show did the 2.2 trillion dollar cares act passed last year to help businesses
survive the economic devastation wrought by the pandemic, included a provision that temporarily allowed businesses to use losses in 2020 to offset their profits earned in previous years.
So because if you lost money during the pandemic, you can now pretend you didn't make money the year before, the year before, the year before that.
That's not, well, that's called a banana republic, I think.
I'm not sure.
I don't think that that's called corruption for sure.
Well, because you peasants better get your run in on time.
Yes.
Yeah.
FedEx took advantage of provisions in the CARES Act using losses in 2020 to reduce their tax bill from previous years when the tax rate was higher.
It said those provisions helped companies navigate a rapidly changing economy and marketplace while continuing to invest in capital, hire team members and fund employee pension plans.
Oh, they're so responsible over there at the FedEx, aren't they?
Oh, they really care about all the things that are important.
They cross their T's.
Here's the...
Yeah, I bet those things looking out for employees.
I bet they did that the least, though.
Yeah.
I bet they did that the least.
Oh, you mean the hired team members and fund employees'pensions?
Yeah.
I bet they did the least of that.
It's funny they didn't list that first.
Mm-hmm.
It helped companies hire team members and fund employee pensions.
the changing agoty in marketplace so here's the there's a long list of all these mfers who didn't pay any of the tax duke energy that it's basically they're getting a negative tax rate how could that be but that that's it there's their income three-year tax rate effective three-year tax rate minus 15 minus 12 0.2 percent for the dish network they don't have to pay freaking fedEx doesn't pay taxes look
at the nike god pensky automotive group those sons of bitches but you know what we got to do man we got to villainize the post office that's right that's the big problem the post office yeah don't even get me started on these teachers.
Oh, money grubbers.
They get summers off.
Right?
They get summers off, the teachers.
And they're still complaining.
They're still complaining.
Hey, you give me summers off.
I'll buy a pencil every now and again.
Oh, we don't have supplies.
Everybody who complains about teachers having summers off and making some.
I go, why don't you go fucking be a teacher then?
If that's the sweet job, why didn't you get it, dummy?
Why are you working your shit job?
Why don't you go get one of those cushy teacher jobs?
Yeah, no kidding.
Yeah, whatever you hear people say, like, what's wrong with you?
Go get one of those jobs.
Why wouldn't they let you become one?
Did they put up a fence?
What happened?
Do you have a felony on your record?
Why did you become a peach teacher then if it's such a sweet job?
Federal Reserve to lend additional $1 trillion a day to large banks, just so you know, who's running this country.
And we couldn't get people 12, we couldn't get people a $2,000 check one time.
We couldn't get people a UBI for the induction.
Nope, but it's a trillion dollars a day.
They spent $740 billion a year on defense, but they won't stop the healthcare system from killing us.
That's nice writing, Daniel.
Ah, tip of the hat to Daniel on that one, huh?
I say, Daniel, no, though.
I have to disagree.
If we had universal health care, at least a third of the people who died from COVID would still be alive.
I'm actually agreeing with Daniel.
Hello.
I'm back.
Wait, who is this?
It's me, Boehner, John Boehner.
It's Boehner time.
Get ready for the roller coaster ride of your goddamn life, you stupid sons of bitches.
What's happening, John?
Boehner's back, and he's got a book.
Boehner's book back.
Boehner book back, Boehner.
Boehner, Boehner, Boehner.
I'm on fucking fire and taking you on the road to hell, you bunch of asshat cry baby fuck tarts.
Anyway, buy my book.
I heard you were writing your memoir.
What's it called?
Oh, really?
Fuck off, asshole.
No, I just want to know the title of your book, John.
Oh, that's the title.
Oh, really?
Fuck off, asshole.
It's funny.
Rumor is you use a lot of expletives in your book.
Let me be diplomatic here.
That's horseshit.
And I do name names.
And then I call those names names.
This is funny to me.
This is good.
Can you?
10 years back, baby.
Yeah, I know.
Can you name a few for us?
Unfortunately, I can't reveal too much before my book drops.
I promise my publishers.
Michelle Bachman.
Fucking wild-eyed, crazy lunatic nut job, fuckhead.
Roger Ailes.
Head cult leader of the wild-eyed, crazy lunatic nut job fuckhead of crazy town.
Oh, Nassau.
Sean Hannity.
Fat, bulb-faced bucket of shit.
Pfft!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Nancy Pelosi.
Castrating witch demon without her broom.
And what about Joe Biden?
Joe, I really like the guy, but if you really want a party, you got to go hang with Hunter.
Why?
What about dealing with the Tea Party when they arrived in Congress?
As one of my old Boehnerisms goes, all you got to do is get the right stupid fucks on the boron bus and then help them find the right fucking seat.
Hey, would you like to hear an excerpt from the audiobook version of Oh Really?
Fuck Off Asshole?
Yes, I would.
Freedom means you can be a genius and invent some new shit and sell that products that makes you a gajillion millionaire.
It helps gazillions of people.
Mean you're firstly on your ways to becoming the first in your families to grow to college after sweeping out a shitty bar in Ohio and reach as high as you want no matter where you came.
Take it from me.
You never know where you'll end up.
That's freedom.
I raise some drinks to that any day.
P.S. Ted Cruz, go fuck yourself.
John, John, were you drunk when you recorded that?
Not Boehner's fault.
Boehner blames it on the Merlot.
Too much of a goddamn mouthful of Boehner.
Where can people get your audiobook?
Visit me on oh really fuckoffasshole.org where you can purchase a tape loop of me telling Ted Cruz to go fuck himself.
It's not my shit show any longer, Sherlock.
And I'm gonna stay and hey, vulnerable Dems fret after getting a shock AOC's campaign cash.
What?
What?
As the midterm campaign's first fundraising deadline approached this week, several vulnerable House Democrats got an unwelcome surprise in their accounts.
$5,000 from Alexandria Casio-Cortez.
What?
Why would that be unwelcome?
By the way, that's more than people got for the stimulus.
Just so you know.
While some are grateful for the infusion of cash, at least three Democrats have so far either declined the initial transfer or said they would return the money because they're corporate Democrats and they have integrity.
So do you know what's going on?
You give money to AOC, and then she takes that money you gave her, and then she gives it to right-wing corporate Democrats, people who oppose the minimum wage, people who oppose Medicare for all, people who oppose student debt relief.
She gives them money so they can get re-elected.
The Ocasio-Cortez donation, these Democrats said, was unsolicited and came without warning.
So the right-wing Democrats, the corporate Democrats that she's giving campaign cash to, don't want to be associated with her because she is perceived as being far left.
And they don't want to be associated with her, even though she's.
Ocasio-Cortez is a prolific fundraiser with a campaign machine of her own that could be a major asset to Democrats as they attempt to hold on to their majority next fall.
In other words, she has large grassroots support that give her money, and this is what she's doing with it.
81% of these Democrats that AOC just donated to oppose Medicare for all.
That's $130,000 From small donors who overwhelmingly support Medicare for all transferred to Democrats who will do everything they can to oppose the program.
That's what AOC is doing with your donations to her, just so you know.
And when other YouTube hosts claim to criticize her or the Justice Democrats, but they don't tell you to stop donating to them, they're just giving lip service.
They're not serious about holding them accountable.
Until you tell people to stop donating to the Justice Democrats, you are not serious about holding them accountable.
This is Paula Jean Swearing.
She called out AOC finally for this.
You know, AOC didn't support Corey Bush in the primary.
She didn't endorse her.
Did you know that?
We had Corey Bush on this show.
AOC didn't support her in the primary.
Isn't that something?
Paula Jean Swearigen said this is not what we supported when we started.
Pretty sure AOC is baiting, is batting, is batting for what the party wanted her to do, not what will help to pass the policies we need.
I'm highly disappointed with my colleague, and I won't align myself with her anymore.
Paula Jean Swerigen said that about AOC.
Now the Young Turks will smear Paula Jean Swearigen as having a problem with women of color.
That's what the Young Turks do.
That's what Annika Spurton will do.
PAYGO is my not be sexy.
That's what she's going to do.
Pull her hair back like a ferret.
So I wonder, I want to see how Jenk Uger, Ryan Grimm, and Anna Kasparian smear Paula Jean Swearigen now.
I can't wait to see it.
You know what's coming.
Savage Joy Marie says, even if you're trying to rationalize AOC giving money to candidates, look at the candidates she gave the money to.
I'm in Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania, and Connor Lamb doesn't have a progressive molecule in his body.
No, he doesn't.
Connor Lamb does not have a progressive molecule in his body, and he even bleeds fracking fuel.
Daniel says, forcing a vote on Medicare for All is bad, but giving money to anti-Medicare for all candidates is good.
Nicely said, Daniel.
Lori Bryan says, AOC is going to have a much harder time raising funds now.
*laughter* Thank you.
No, she'll get Ryan Grimm and the Young Turks and all the other Jagoff YouTubers to keep running interference for her, pretending that no one notices what you're doing.
You broke my heart, Fredo.
You broke my heart.
AOC is becoming a progressive power broker, and that is a good thing.
She will need to work with others.
She is showing great leadership.
That's someone with a PhD saying that.
I hope they're saying that sarcastically.
Great leadership, giving money to people who are against everything you stand for.
Leadership.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
No, I want her brokering power with the grassroots, not kissing the ass of the people who co-sponsor up to 68,000 deaths for profit per year.
Well said, Red Beret.
So the Red Berets are getting Medicare for All in Washington State.
They're going state by state.
And, you know, I was on the fence about it because it's.
That's the only way that it's going to happen.
That's the only way that it's going to happen now.
And you know what?
And when we don't get it in the state of California, you know who you can blame?
The Democrats.
The Democrats.
That's right.
So I'm all for the Red Berets now.
I think push it.
The Overton window is so far right that it is a progressive position to defend AOC giving working-class donations to corporate Democrats, says Eddie.
Think about that.
It's now progressive to defend AOC funding corporate Democrats.
That's now the progressive position.
Jim Earl, Emmy Award-winning Jim Earl, makes it into the show.
He says, AOC donating money to corporate Democrat incumbents who are against Medicare for all is so maverick-y maverick-y, maverick-y.
Do it again.
Throw it away next time.
AOC.
Let me.
Okay, Mike, get ready for the big edit.
AOC is donating money to corporate Democrat incumbents who are against Medicare for all is so maverick-y.
Did I do it right?
You did it right.
It was hard to do.
I want to say Matt Vericky.
I want to say Matt Vericky.
Mavericky.
That's it.
One more time.
AOC donating money to corporate Democrat incumbents who are against Medicare for all is so maverick-y.
I got it, right?
I finally got it.
I finally got it.
You're just not seeing her long game.
Wait for it.
Ah, shit.
Too late.
We're dead.
Nice move.
Nice visas, Quimby.
Oh, every.
Okay.
You have serious people here complaining about how exhausting that people keep calling the squad out.
Do you realize how exhausting it is not to be able to afford the minimum to be homeless, to have unpaid bills, to receive calls and letters from debt collectors?
Get out of here with your privilege.
What will Bernie and the squad run on in 2022?
Hope and change?
They're going to run on now's not the time.
That's what they're going to run on.
Now's not the time.
That's what they're going to run on.
Now's not the time.
There's still work to do, and we have to prevent a Trump presidency.
Our very democracy is at stake.
We're going to be hearing that every election cycle indefinitely.
Nobody ever takes a step back and realizes our fake joke of a democracy isn't at stake.
And even if it was, it's not worth saving.
Hey, David Axelrod, Farbar Barack Obama advisor is on the phone.
Hello, David.
Hi, Jimmy.
This is David Axelrod.
66 years old and 6 feet 2 inches and pure man.
Senior practitioner fellow for the University of Pacific Nonpartisan Institute of Policy, Pragmatics and Politics designed to promote passion for politics, principles, Production and public policy process.
Designed to do what?
Promote passion for politics, principles, production, and public policy process.
What exactly does that mean?
Fuck if I know.
Jimmy, I am also David Axelrod, author, believer with a capital B, proud husband, proud father, dog owner, lover of long walks and sunsets on the beach, host of the Axe Files, and host of my newest pod blog, the Rod on Rod pod blog.
The Rod on Rod Pod.
The Rod on Rod pod blog.
Rod on Rod is where I, David Axelrod, interview, discuss, and debate myself for 90 lonely minutes.
Why?
Because no one ever wants me to come on my pod.
No one ever wants to come on my podcast.
On Rod's pod blog, Rod on Rod, we get down dirty and raw with each other.
Watch Rod get rowdy and rock out with his bad side, drink fortified wine, and talk shit about hot rods, broads, and hot dogging it.
This is exactly the kind of crap he's, but doesn't Steve Schmidt come on your podcast all the time.
The axe files or hacks on tap?
Either one.
Steve Schmidt no longer wishes to attend my process.
What does that mean?
It means he doesn't like it when I FaceTime him with a blow-up doll.
Hello, this is to inform you your social security number may have been compromised.
I asked for his complete name and social security number, and he falls for it every time.
Pretty funny.
Hey, I'm also a senior political commentator for CNN.
Hey, I don't want to embarrass or put you on the spot here, but can you comment on why CNN's ratings have dropped by nearly 50%?
Yeah, it's pretty much my fault.
All me.
I'm the guy.
Geez, I'm sorry, David.
You didn't have to say that.
I guess people used to come for the non-stop coverage of Donald Trump.
Now they only get to be saying stuff like, as a messenger, Pete Butta Judge is in a league of his own in terms of content and tone.
I mean, that's like going from crack to milk duds in five seconds.
So that's happening.
Sorry.
Hey, why don't you come on over to my crib for some mud slides?
It's the full-flavored sipping experience only David Axelrod could provide.
Be sure to bring your special aid.
Yeah, yeah.
No, thanks.
I don't drink mud slides.
You might be interested to know that I just upgraded one of my closets to a bar area with get this, a wine refrigerator.
Jesus Christ.
New laminate wood floors throughout white lacquer campus.
Wow.
And marble backsplashes accent the kitchen with a heated breakfast bar for those rushed to process mornings.
Hey, thank you, David.
Hey, before you go, what's your biggest hope for the Biden administration?
That he starts a war with Russia.
CNN's about to cut my salary, and I got a new oversized bathroom with a dual sink vanity, marble floors, large spa tub, and a glass-enclosed shower to pay for.
I'm hurting here.
I'm going to hang up for these foolish tears starting.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Bernie Sanders went on with Mehdi Hassan.
And the progressive Democrats are so shitty that they're making Mehdi Hassan look like a journalist.
That's how shitty they are because all he has to do is ask a question.
Apparently, they didn't use.
So Mehdi's starting to ask them the questions that they wouldn't get asked in lefty media.
He's asking them now.
They don't expect it when they go on and they're like, I'm sure Bernie's like, I'm on fucking MSNBC.
Why are you doing that?
Well, watch this.
Watch.
Let's get to it.
You mentioned the grassroots movement.
A lot of frustrated progressives, especially online, and you know this, often ask, why can't you, Bernie Saunders, use the leverage that Joe Manchin often uses to get his own way on issues like the $15 minimum wage or expanding health care?
Why can't you throw your weight around, they say?
Threaten to vote against Joe Manchester successfully.
I like how he says the online progressives.
Did he say that?
The online progressives have given, especially the online progressives.
Especially the online progressives, because the offline progressives, Ron, way more tame.
They're very chill.
They're way very, the progressives who aren't online, they're passive.
The online progressives.
So here he's asking them, hey, why don't you ever use your leverage?
Why don't you ever do that?
Joe Manchin does it for nefarious purposes.
You won't even do it to help people, Bernie.
Why won't you do that?
Well, if you look at the results of what happened, look about the president.
Is that two looks?
Was that two?
Look, if you look, look.
But I think what most people would tell you is what we did in the rescue plan was the most significant legislation for working class people in the modern history.
That's not, that's not the question.
And no, it wasn't.
What are you, are you comparing it to the other pandemic bill during a depression?
There's never been a time like this, Bernie.
That's why there's never been a bill like this.
They keep using that talking point that I think started with Rachel Battow.
Yeah.
Why are you doing this?
The question is, why won't you use your leverage, like Joe Manchin, to get stuff that everyone knows that you should?
He's not answering the question.
I don't know what he's telling you that this legislation, which we all know is woefully insufficient, woefully insufficient, is somehow a savior.
You know, people are still going to get kicked out of their houses.
People still can't get health care.
People are still fucking broke.
People are still going to get kicked out of their apartment, Bernie.
No matter what bullshit you tell Mehdi Hassan, no matter how many times you say that this bill is the most progressive piece of legislation, there is still pain being inflicted by your party on Americans right now.
This country.
And we're moving forward in a similar direction.
We can't get everything we want.
That's simple, simply the Reality.
Any one person can say no.
We can't get everything we want.
You especially can't get everything you want if you don't do anything to get what you want.
If you're not willing to use your leverage, which is what Mediasan just asked you, you're not going to get anything you want, which is why you didn't get anything you wanted.
There's no public option.
There's no $15 minimum wage.
There's no health care.
So this idea, he's just bullshitting you now.
Straight up, right, Ron?
Is this a straight-up bullshit?
Yeah, I mean, none of those points make any sense whatsoever.
And they're all just recycled.
And the Democratic Party is like, it's like the worst grocery trip ever.
Like, all right, I'm back from the grocery store, kids.
Are you excited?
I'm excited.
We're so hungry.
Did you get $15 an hour minimum wage?
No, no, no.
What about health care?
We've been wanting health care for so long.
No, no, no, no health care.
Oh, well, what about are you going to help people?
Is there going to be a recurring UBI?
I've been craving a recurring UBI for so long.
We're in a pandemic.
No, no, none of that.
But look what I have.
Here's some drilling permits.
You love drilling permits, right?
Oh, my God.
We're drilling permits.
They're so gross and there's no vitamins.
This sucks.
We need to hire someone else to do the shopping.
Watch what he says right at the end here, too.
Watch this.
He says erection.
We can't get everything we want.
That's simple, simply the reality.
Any one person can say no.
So what he doesn't realize, what he just did there was reveal that he's not willing to do what Joe Manchin.
Any one person can say no to a bill, which is what Joe Manchin does and gets what he wants.
And Bernie will never, yes.
Bernie, that means you could say no.
You're the one person, that one person who could say no.
That's you, Bernie.
And you were supposed to say no during the CARES Act and you didn't.
And you're supposed to say no now, and you're not.
You're the one play.
You're the one doing the dirty work of Joe Biden to kill the $15 minimum wage.
You brought it up in a way that you knew wouldn't.
This is straight up gaslighting.
And this is the kind of shit we used to rail against from the corporate Democrats.
And now every time Bernie opens his mouth, this is what he's doing.
He just said any one person can hold up the legislature.
That means you can do that.
If Joe Manchin could do it, that's the question.
Joe Manchin can hold up this legislation, Bernie.
Why won't you?
He'll never answer that question.
You know why?
Because there isn't an answer.
Because the real answer is, I'm a nutless wonder who cares more about being treated nicely by the Democratic Party and the establishment than I do about fighting for you.
And I know that's hard for people to watch this show to take, but I think a lot of them are starting to come around to it now.
I know everybody hated me when I said this last year.
And now everybody's like, yeah, he's, yeah, I hate to have to apologize to Jimmy Dohert.
He was right.
And he won't fuck.
He's acting like he works for Joe Biden, Ron, and he doesn't.
He's pretending like his job is to service Joe Biden's agenda instead of service a progressive agenda and push Joe Biden at every turn.
He's not doing any of it.
Here we go.
But right now, I think we are moving forward.
We're going to push it as hard as we possibly can.
And by as hard as we possibly can, that means not at all.
We're not going to push for anything ever.
I'm never going to put a hold on a bill like Joe Manchin threatens to do or how Rand Paul does every other five minutes.
And I'm proud of the direction in which we are moving.
And just on Joe Manchin, you say you support getting rid of the filibuster, but Senator Joe Manchin has said he won't agree to that.
He doesn't back a $15 minimum wage increase.
He doesn't back the 28% corporate tax rate that's proposed.
When you were running for president, you said you would go to West Virginia and rally working people there against Senator.
Pressure, Betty, let me just ask the question.
Let me just ask the question, Senator.
Do you think President Biden should pressure Joe Manchin in the way you said you would?
Or will that just make him defect to the Republican Party?
Some people say.
First of all, talk to Joe Manchin, but second of all, there is a lot of work being so he's not going to, he's just going to ignore everything he said while he was running.
He's just going to ignore all that shit he said, Ron.
Is that what he's going to do?
He's going to pretend he didn't say any of that stuff.
I just love how they're talking about like, oh, we're pushing as hard as we can.
We're pushing.
It's like this box.
It just won't move.
We're pushing it as hard as we can.
And the box just won't move.
Well, what is the box?
It's the parliamentarian.
Oh, my parliamentarian.
We can't move this.
It's like pushing a boulder up a hill.
And then you open it and you're like, this is an empty box.
There's nothing in this box.
You can actually knock it over.
The parliamentarian has no real power.
What the hell are you people doing?
What are you doing?
They're doing nothing, Ron.
They're doing nothing except lying to us when they're asked about it.
And that's what, I'm sorry to tell you, that's what Bernie's doing right now.
Internally, in terms of bringing the Democratic caucus together, once again, we passed the most significant piece of emergency legislation, which, among other things, will cut childhood poverty in half.
No, it won't.
I expect that the second reconciliation bill will be very profound in creating millions of good-paying jobs.
And by the way, I'm going to do everything that I can along with others in making sure that we do pass that 15.
That's just a lie.
You're a liar.
Ron, would you agree that's a straight-up lie?
I don't think we're going to see a $15 minimum wage.
Is that a lie that he says he's going to do everything he can to get the 50?
Because he didn't do fucking anything last time.
They had that vote that he knew wasn't going to win.
He took it out of the bill.
They did it completely the way to make it fail.
I mean, I certainly have no defense for any of it at all.
I mean, it's.
Let's see.
Let's see how this ends.
You support internal pressure, but you support internal pressure on Joe Manchin, not publicly going to West Virginia and calling him out as you say.
Oh, I think there are variety.
I think there's a variety of shit I won't do.
There's a variety of things that I'm not willing to do ever.
Remember, I used to open every speech by saying it sounds like you're ready for a revolution.
And then I told you to vote for Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden.
And now I'm telling you to don't criticize them.
Now I'm telling you to eat a shit sandwich and enjoy it because I'm telling you to.
It doesn't make me happy.
I wish Bernie wasn't this shitty.
I wish Bernie would actually fight for something once.
It doesn't bring me joy.
I'd rather see him fight and get a $15 minimum wage.
I'd Rather see him fight and get us Medicare for all, student debt relief.
I'd rather see him get us a public option.
They're not even talking about it.
He won't put a hold on a bill like Joe Manchin.
He won't, in fact, he won't do anything.
He won't tell his followers to go to West Virginia.
He won't tell his followers to do anything.
Just like AOC or any other progressive, they won't tell their followers to do anything to demand action from the establishment, right?
Why?
Because they're actually tools of the establishment.
Bernie right now is a flat-out tool of Joe Biden and the Democratic establishment.
This is garbage.
This is not him fighting.
This is not him pushing Joe Biden left.
This is him telling you to shut up while you try to push drive while we try to push Joe Biden left.
Ron?
Yeah, I can't dispute any of that.
I mean, man, why would I want to?
I mean, it's just, it's a trade.
And the one thing that I also noticed in that, he's like, oh, so you support pushing Joe Manchin internally, but not externally.
How is that even possible?
How would you push Joe Manchin internally?
Like, hey, I mean, do you really think that the Joe Manchins of the party, that the Joe Manchins of the system, know that they're not supporting the thing that 90% of the base wants?
Do you think that they don't realize that?
They don't realize that that's just thumbing the nose in public opinion.
And we're supposed to take that, by the way.
We're just supposed to accept that.
We're supposed to accept that, oh, there's a bunch of Joe Manchins in the party who don't give a shit about anything the base wants, and that's fine.
That's fine.
Don't criticize them.
Or if you do it, do it internally, whatever that means.
What does that mean?
Externally, it's the only option.
It's the only option.
And honestly, we're the only option.
We, the people, are the only option.
We need a general strike.
David says, isn't asking politicians to use their power considered violence?
Ben 9 says, I'm not the president.
Ask Joe, is a fucked up response to a question we are all asking.
This is not Bernie.
This is some vague semblance of the fighter we saw in 2016.
It's time to move on to better role models.
I'll just say politicians aren't role models.
They are the best, at best, politicians are tools for change at worst and at typical, they're at typical roadblocks for change.
And that's what Bernie's doing right now.
He is propping up the Democratic roadblock to $15 minimum wage, a public option, student debt relief, Medicare for all, and ending the wars, which no one ever talks about because they got rid of Tulsi.
So no one will ever talk about ending the wars.
They're all imperialists.
That's the one thing you can't, you can't cross the intelligence community or the war machine.
And Bernie's not doing that either.
I've come to the conclusion that the guy was never a fighter, just a dude with good intentions who talked a big game, but never had the balls.
That's exactly true, Rolling Stoner.
I agree with the Rolling Stoner.
So that's very sad.
Again, it brings me no joy to have to comment and to tell you what's happening with Bernie Sanders like this.
It's just, you know, no one felt worse after the CARES Act and how he sold us out and how he sold out his own movement when he got nothing from Joe Biden.
He did nothing.
I felt horrible.
It broke my heart.
People pointed out to me that it was my daddy issues that I turned Bernie into my whatever.
I needed a daddy or whatever, whatever it was.
It was painful and I hated it.
And it ain't getting any better.
So all those people, I guess people who criticized me back then thought that Bernie would stop doing that or that the squad or the Justice Democrats would actually stop being just Democrats.
I guess they really thought that.
That's not happening.
Senate Democrats can now officially pass more bills with 51 votes.
Democrats just got an unprecedented Senate blessing.
What?
What happened?
The parliamentarian, Ron, the parliamentarian has advised that a revised budget resolution may contain budget reconciliation instructions, said a spokesman for the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer.
Wow.
After we hear what the parliamentarian has to say, we're going to then check in to see what Harry Potter thinks.
Because Harry Potter has just as much sway.
It's just the whole thing is just so ridiculous.
I mean, I just picture them all in this room, but they're like, what does the almighty parliamentariat have to say?
And then this big smoke monster from the show Lost just appears.
And then Nancy Pelosi's there like the almighty parliamentarian has ice cream freezers as far as the eye can see.
We must bow to the almighty parliamentarian, the person who's not elected and has no actual power, but can actually apparently dictate what policy does or doesn't happen.
Oh, and who can do something about the all-powerful parliamentarian?
The vice president.
Also, just for the record, not elected, really.
Elected by default, but not really.
Not really elected.
It was just shoved down our throats.
Well, here's what Andrew Perez says.
Senate Democrats can pass any bill with 51 votes because they can eliminate the filibuster with 51 votes.
This is a stupid sideshow that will allow Democrats to pass spending bills, but won't let them actually set policy.
Very well put by Andrew Perez.
David Sirota, friend of the show, says, I know we live in an era of absurd misinformation, but I remain amazed that the elite media continues to knowingly help Democrats pretend that the parliamentarian is an all-powerful being rather than simply an advisor who can be ignored or fired.
It's not just the elite media, David, but I get your point.
It's not just the elite.
I mean, I don't know.
Is the intercept still elite media?
Are they considered after they go full-on censorship of an actual story and become partisan hacks?
Are you still a journalist if you're a partisan hack?
I guess maybe.
I don't know.
Good news, everyone.
the Senate parliamentarian ruled that Chuck Schumer can pass bills that aren't Medicare for all and a $15 minimum wage.
All hail the parliamentarian, Ron.
Biden team prepares a $3 trillion in new spending for the economy.
Even Joe Manchin, who's fighting for $4 trillion, knows that $3 trillion is not enough for the infrastructure.
This is unacceptable.
Your proposal needs to include at least $10 trillion in infrastructure if you want to meet the scale of this moment.
That's from the Sunrise Movement.
Who can't wait to be co-opted, by the way.
And they're still and they're calling this shit out.
Even Joe Manchin knows that we should have $4 trillion.
Joe Biden, $3 trillion.
Isn't that amazing?
Bernie Sanders, we need $16 trillion Green New Deal.
Democratic primary Joe Biden said we need a $7 trillion deal.
Joe Manson said we need a $4 trillion deal.
Biden now says, how about two?
Who are you negotiating against?
Nobody.
Go do what you said in the primary.
Give us a $7 trillion bill.
Do what Joe Manchin says.
You do that.
He won't even have.
So do you think we would have got.
I guess this is the one time Joe Manchin isn't all that powerful, huh?
Right?
I guess Joe Biden could tell Joe Manchin to go pounce in when he wants to cut fucking money to give to people.
Isn't that amazing, Ron?
It's another great grocery store run.
We're going to need at least, at least $16 for this grocery.
Well, bring it $2.50.
Eat your drilling permits and shut up.
By the time they're done negotiating the infrastructure plan, we'll be a new drive-through for the local Wendy's.
Just the one location.
The real question is: are there any Easter eggs included?
Yes, and a Wendy's coupon.
But it's for a Frosty.
Which you can't get.
Can't get it.
You can't always get what you want.
You can't always get everything.
Because one guy could hold up a bill.
You mean like you could?
Don't say, don't tell people I could.
You mean you could do what Joe Manchin does?
Yeah, but I never will, ever.
I'll never ever do that.
Because they scared the shit out of me.
You know, I own three houses.
Oh, hey, Matthew McConaughey is calling me.
I hope he doesn't use his status as a celebrity to lecture me on centrism.
Hello, hello, hello, Bandy, no, Bandy, no, Bandito.
All right, all right, all right.
You know what that pattern of threes means, cowboy.
Think about it.
No, I what it means we all gotta be aggressively centrist, son.
That's what I'm talking about.
Hello on the extreme left, and hello on the extreme right, ain't even on the damn pavement anymore.
You gotta be the change you want to be, but do it from the middle of the road.
Cause why?
That's where the yellow line is.
Do you get my bent?
No, no, I don't.
Don't lose your grease, Jimba.
You'll need it on the road.
Keep the grease.
Take the long way in.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show is written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamarano, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
Do not do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
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