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Dec. 10, 2020 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:56
20201210_TJDS_20201210_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy!
It's Mayor Pete Booty Chutch.
Oh, hi, Mayor Pete.
It's good to hear from you, buddy.
It's good to be heard from Jimmy.
I'm glad that I have a legitimate reason to call you on the floor.
Yes, the rumor is that Joe Biden's going to pick you to be the ambassador to China.
Jesus.
That is indeed the rumor.
Really?
You know, Jimmy, when I wrapped up my campaign for president of the United States of America, I envisioned the second best thing to be commander-in-chief.
And what's that?
Getting as far away as humanly possible from the United States of America.
And as ambassador to China, I would get to do just that.
This comes at a time when the U.S.-Chinese relations are kind of fraught.
Do you think you're up to the challenge?
Yes, I do.
Jimmy, the Chinese are an extremely proud people, which is something I've gleaned over the years from movies and television.
They need to know that the United States takes them and their needs seriously.
The choice of me for ambassador would do just that.
Oh, really?
How do you figure that, Pete?
Because the only public service experience I have is that I was the mayor of a city whose Chinese equivalent, in terms of population, would be a small fishing village.
I also served in the U.S. military, which China views as an imperialist war machine.
My appointment to the ambassadorship could only be viewed by them as a carefully crafted insult.
One so pointed and meticulous that they would have to regard it with begrudging respect.
And that would be a good thing.
and And also, I have the honor and opportunity to press President Biden's vision and agenda overseas.
What exactly is President Biden's vision and agenda, Mayor Pete?
Strength.
Firmness.
Fairness.
A sense of decency.
Yes.
Square dealing.
Is he a regional bank now?
Hope.
Change.
Freedom for all Americans.
Sandwiches.
Oh, yeah, right.
That's the sandwich thing.
Compassion.
Unity.
American values.
Strength.
Okay, you already said strength.
Mayor Pete, are you saying that spewing meaningless platitudes is really all there is to Joe Biden's vision?
Yes, I am.
Well, if in order to spread his agenda, Biden needs someone who's good at talking a lot, but saying nothing of substance, you are definitely the guy for that job.
Frank you.
Thank you, Jimmy.
I truly appreciate that.
What are you going to do to prepare for your sojourn to China?
Well, Jimmy, I'm happy to inform you that in South Bend, Indiana, we have our very own PF Changs.
And Chastin and I will be going there for dinner.
And we will be returning there for dinner until we have tried every single item on the menu.
Jesus.
And that is my pledge to you, the American citizen.
Impressive.
And because I have always been thorough in my research, we will then do the Cheesecake Factory and try all of the Asian offerings on that menu.
Oh, hey.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, get the Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp.
It's delicious.
You'll thank me later, Pete.
Huh?
Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp.
Interesting.
Jimmy, you are clearly a very educated and cultured man.
That's why it's always a pleasure to talk to you.
Now, I must go attend to my duties.
But until next time, Jimmy, knee how.
That means hello.
Yes, it does.
Establishment media sets on its lighting.
So good luck the bullshit we can't afford.
Watch and see as a jackdog comedian who speeds and jumps the medium and hits him head-on.
It's the Jimmy Door show.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, the Democratic-controlled house, the Democratic-controlled house, just passed Trump's war budget by a veto-proof margin.
I guess that's what Biden meant when he pledged 100 million shots in 100 days.
Am I right?
The Pentagon.
This is true.
The Pentagon revealed.
The Pentagon revealed it's all set to administer the first 40,000 doses of COVID vaccines as soon as they can figure out how to deliver something without killing a nearby wedding party.
Hey, I swear if I have to listen one more time to Donald Trump complain that the 2020 election was rigged, I'm going to have to do the same for all the times Hillary Clinton said 2016 was rigged.
Universal just bought Bob Dylan's catalog of songs for $300 million.
But the singer says he's still going to keep his leopard skin pillbox hat.
I don't know why that's funny, but it just saddens me to hear that Bob Dylan sold all his songs.
Now we get to hear those songs, you know, in like IBM commercials.
Oh, he already did one.
We get to hear those songs selling Chevy trucks.
A hard rain is going to fall.
It's kind of bad.
It's going to be for Chevy trucks.
Yeah.
Hey, whenever life gives you 100 reasons to cry, just remember, it can also give you 100 reasons to smile, thereby proving life is a non-stop exercise and pointless futility.
Hey, what's coming up on today's Jimmy Door show?
America closes down again, but regular working people are abandoned by their government.
How long before the pitchforks and guillotines?
The answer just may surprise you.
Plus, there's no stimulus in the Congress new stimulus plan, but there's always money for war.
Plus, shocking scientific data.
Wealthy people are climate change accelerators.
And Joe Biden's conflict of interest cabinet just got more conflict of interests.
Plus, we got phone calls from Pete Budigig, Joe Biden, and Matthew McConaughey.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Just so you know, that they've given you $1,200 while they gave $5 trillion to the richest people, and they don't care.
And other countries aren't doing this, okay?
And I'm going to show you what CNN, their business guy, has to say about this.
But first, I want to show you this.
This is what other countries are doing during this coronavirus.
When they tell you to shut down your business, they pay your payroll for your company.
So nobody, there isn't stress.
Nobody gets screwed.
And there isn't going to be social unrest.
In Japan, they're paying 100%.
100% of the businesses, 80% for large firms, Netherlands, Norway, Germany, France, Italy, UK, Canada, the United States paying 0%.
All these other countries, 75%, 80%, 85, 87, 90%, 90%, 100% of their paying people's payrolls.
United States, zero.
Zero.
And they're not giving you a stimulus.
And 14 million people lost their health care.
40 million people lost their jobs.
60% of the businesses that closed are permanent.
And 19 million people are on the brink of eviction December 31st.
And here is what the CNN business guy said about stimulus.
Quality protection, a huge priority for McConnell.
I want to ask you about Bernie Sanders and other progressives that are not happy with the stimulus package because it does not include stimulus checks.
The same actually goes for Republican Josh Hawley of Missouri.
But would that idea have enough impact on the economy that it would lead to ultimately spiking this bill altogether, do you think?
Well, I think the criticism is right in the sense that this $908 billion package is not enough to get the economy through the whole pandemic.
And what's interesting is, as you mentioned, it's not just from the left.
We heard Senator Josh Hawley say that he told President Trump that he thinks Trump if stimulus checks are not included.
But, you know, the economist that I'm talking to, they say, listen, you know, we don't know that stimulus checks are really needed right now.
The economist he's talking to?
Who are you talking to?
Larry Kudlow?
Who are you talking to?
Ebernese or Scrooge?
The economists you're talking to right now?
The economist you're talking to right now?
Who are they?
Who are the economists you're talking to?
The economists he's talking to say we don't need a stimulus check right now.
You know, Americans can't afford groceries right now.
There's 19 million people on the brink of being evicted.
You have a $5,000 suit and a $200,000 consulting job at CNN.
And you're saying we don't need a stimulus check.
I wonder why.
Just imagine the culture.
Just imagine the culture at CNN where you're allowed to go on TV and say something like that, that he knows he won't be, A, get in trouble for, but B, he'll get rewarded.
This is nothing but propaganda.
This is worse than Providence.
This is worse than state-run media.
This is unbelievable.
You want to hear him again?
I'll play it for you.
They say, listen, you know, we don't know that stimulus checks are really needed right now.
A lot of Americans would probably just save that money rather than spend it.
Why would they save money?
Americans would save that.
There are 19 million people on the brink of being evicted right now.
They'd probably just save it.
14, 15 million people lost their health care.
They'd probably just save it.
This is the kind of, and nothing will happen to his career.
He'll get a raise after this.
He's going to fail up.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's not a member of Biden's cabinet soon.
And there's a lot of really good stuff in this package, including extending the unemployment benefits that I was talking about earlier, forgivable loans for small businesses, state and local aid from the federal government.
And so, you know, you don't want to just kill the whole build because of that single issue.
I mean, it's like if your house was on fire, you wouldn't turn away the one fire truck that comes up just because you think two are needed.
You would take the help and hope to get some more.
Yeah, like if that fire truck shows up to your house when it's on fire and it shows up with nothing but gasoline in it to spray on your house, you take it because it's wet, I guess.
You can't, yeah, you can't let the perfect get in the way of the useless.
So the media is part of the ruling class.
Do you see the problem here?
Do you see why we have a show?
Do you see why we have a show?
Why I don't have an MSNBC contract or a CNN contract?
Why they don't even allow me on CNN?
They don't even allow me on MSNBC.
Do you see why they don't allow anybody on like this ever?
They'll never let a progressive on MSNBC talk about the war.
CNN will never let...
Dr. Stephanie Kelton?
No, the guy.
Oh, Mark Blythe?
Richard Wolf.
Oh.
Are you talking to Richard Wolfe, the economist you're talking?
I'm going to guess that's not one of the economists you talk to.
This is their lead business guy saying, nah, we don't need stimulus checks.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the idea.
You can't let perfect get in the way of helpful or just good Matt Egan's CNN business.
Yeah, or shit.
You can't let perfect get in the way of absolutely useless.
They're all in agreement.
Every panel is like that.
They're all in agreement on some horrible idea.
The last time I showed you a three-person panel at CNN, they were all in agreement that pulling troops out of Afghanistan was a bad idea.
That's CNN.
More right-wing than Fox.
And by the way, is that the male face of that's the male Karen, if there ever was one.
Am I right?
Oh, well, that's totally the face of smuggler.
If can I ask to speak to the manager was a face.
There it is.
Let's see what it says.
Let's see what his bio says.
Matt Egan is the lead writer for CNN Business.
He provides analysis on the day's biggest business story.
He's covering everything from Wall Street and the stock market to energy.
Egan also tweeted throughout the day at the latest market moves and corporate news.
So nothing.
He has no accomplishments, none.
He was just handed this job.
He has no accomplishments.
Well, if you notice, he's only covering concepts, not people.
He doesn't understand the needs of people.
He only understands capitalism and the market.
Not one accomplishment.
You'd think they would list something he did of note.
I'm relieved he didn't include happy father.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Proud daddy.
Proud father and husband.
Hey, fuckface.
What's this guy's name?
Matt.
Hey, fuckface, Matt Egan.
Nearly 19 million Americans are going to lose their home in December 31st.
Did the economist you talk to not tell you that?
Hey, Matt, thousands are in cars form lines that collect foods.
Did the economist you talk to, they didn't tell you that part?
You know why that you know why they're in car in their cars in thousands in lines that get food?
Because it's all that money they're saving, Matt.
Because they're probably just saving their money.
They need to talk to an expert.
Can I just tell you that the uh, by the way, the name of his shampoo, pure evil, just so you know, pure evil.
Oh, that's what this guy calls him: pure evil.
Apparently, we should be grateful we're getting nothing because maybe they'll throw us a crumb in a couple of months.
$1,200 or less was sent out over six months ago.
Do these people think we're all sitting on piles of money and pretending to be poor?
Yes, I guess Matt Egan.
That's what he thinks.
People in America are pretending to be poor.
This is their business guy.
That's their lead business guy.
That's the kind of info you get at CNN.
But CNN says YouTube is dangerous.
You got to stop advertising on YouTube.
But so we could do this.
Record high unemployment, widespread food insecurity, small business shutdowns, and CNN has on an expert whose opinion on stimulus checks is that the economists I'm talking to are saying people would rather save that money than spend it, and it wouldn't help the economy.
It's unreal.
Another stimulus check is critical.
This is from fucking Newsweek.
Newsweek.
Could you be more mainstream, corporate, than Newsweek?
And their headline is that a stimulus check is critical.
More than 125 economists say, but the Jagoff from CNN, nah.
And you ever get a chance to go on CNN and you don't rip them a new asshole?
Look at that.
Another stimulus check is critical to economic recovery.
More than 125 economists say.
That's from November 24th.
CNN, no, we're good.
Another stimulus check.
Wow.
So this pandemic is 100% proof that capitalism not only requires human misery and oppression to work, but in fact, it thrives on it.
And then it tries to sell it back to you.
Hey, the stock market is at 30,000.
Billionaires have increased their wealth by almost a trillion dollars already.
Everything is for them.
The system isn't meant for us.
The United States isn't meant for us.
We have a special guest with us, everybody.
He's a stand-up comedian, commenter, activist.
He's the host of Redacted Tonight on RT.
He's the author of the new book, Bullet Points and Punchlines, and he's now co-host with Graham Elwood, what, Graham Elwood, of government secrets, which can be seen on YouTube.
Please welcome Lee Camp.
Hi, Lee.
Hey, guys.
It's good to be back with you.
Good to be back with one of the some of the few remaining truth tellers out there.
I feel like we're like one of those zombie movies in the end times where there's eight humans left.
It certainly does feel that way.
Even I actually a little bit worse, actually.
And we're out of bullets, so it's just we're using things like staple guns and stuff.
So let's, I just want to get into this real quick.
I'm just glad you're here.
And thanks for having me.
I just want to go through a couple of stories with you.
So I don't know if you've heard about this, but Hunter Biden's in trouble again.
And I'll lay it out for you.
This is from the Biden-Harris transition team.
They released this for immediate release.
It says, this is a statement by Hunter Biden.
He said, I learned yesterday for the first time that the U.S. Attorney's Office in Delaware advised my legal counsel also yesterday that they are investigating my tax affairs.
I take this matter very seriously, but I am confident that a professional and objective review of these matters will demonstrate that I handled my affairs legally and appropriately, including with the benefit of professional tax advisors.
I think he wrote that in a bathtub with a cigarette, but do you think he actually wrote that, Lee, or do you think he stole it from somebody else?
Just saying it might run in the family.
That's all I'm saying.
Hold on.
You're saying that the corrupt son of the corrupt guy who's represented the tax haven state of the United States for 40 years is having tax issues.
I mean, that's why Delaware exists is for this shit.
That's exactly why.
You're right.
That's exactly why they were invented.
Well, at the bottom, the Biden-Harris transition team has a statement.
I'll read it to you.
It says, President-elect Joe Biden is deeply proud of his son, who has fought through difficult challenges, including the vicious personal attacks of recent months, only to emerge stronger.
Wow, should the opportunity present itself where Hunter can do nothing and get paid for it, he'll be back out of his other opportunities where he's getting paid to do nothing.
What a guy.
So anyway, that's their statement.
Their statement is here.
They're really proud of him.
Isn't that no matter how bad, how many times he gets investigated or how much corruption he's involved in, Joe Biden just could not be prouder of his son.
Isn't that amazing?
I'm glad I'm not in a job where your father has to co-sign the bottom of every statement.
Lee was found in a glory hole.
Dad's still proud.
Still proud.
Still proud.
That's fucking hilarious.
It is great that we wouldn't be horrible to have a job where your dad had to sign all your statements.
And still proud.
Joe Biden is like the holdup.
He's like, the wrong son died.
The wrong son died.
No kidding.
Wow.
Only the good guy young Lee, you know that.
So Hunter Biden to step down from board of Chinese-backed private.
Just so you know what the problem is with this guy.
So he's getting all this money from people.
And I'm going to guess he wasn't paying the proper taxes.
That's what it looks like.
So here, BHR Partners, Baha'i Harvest RST, Shanghai Equity Investment Fund Management Company Limited.
Whew, that's a lot.
That's a mouthful.
So BH Partners, that's a private investment fund founded in 2013 by Chinese and American partners to make investments outside Of China.
BHR was founded in 2013 by two Chinese registered asset managers, Bohai Industrial Investment Fund and Harvest Fund Management, and two U.S. organizations, one of which is Rosemont Seneca Partners.
So that company, according to the Wall Street Journal, planned to raise $1.5 billion taking advantage of Shanghai's free enterprise zone to convert to dollars to be invested in foreign companies.
Business registration filings in China list Hunter Biden among the key officials at Bohai Harvest.
Boy, you know, Hunter's always been a small business guy.
I don't know if you know that.
So here it is.
Biden, so then you so I don't know why they're allowed.
Why do you think they're allowing us to talk about this when they didn't allow us to talk about that?
Right?
Remember, because here it is, Twitter, Facebook, clamped down on New York Post.
So there it is.
LOLing thinking about Twitter and Facebook applying these standards to the New York Times reporting of the Washington Post anonymous.
So I'm just showing you that the last time he was in the news, they suppressed the reporting of it.
And he's making the point that Washington Post always, everybody has unsourced stories all the time.
O Biden, Obama aides defend banks pay to Biden's son.
Wow.
It's basically now that the elections happened, you're allowed to talk about these things because it's already over.
He's already won.
So they can cover it.
But, you know, in Hunter Biden's defense, it's tough to know which forms of corruption are the wrong kind and which are the cool kind.
Because like Biden has, but Joe Biden has been funded by the banks and the credit companies in Delaware his entire career.
I mean, they have just completely basically bought him out.
They own him and that's his whole career.
And apparently that kind of corruption, totally cool.
But then you put your name on an oil interest in Ukraine and apparently that's wrong.
It's tough enough.
It is tough to know.
Can I use Air Force 2 for a private business gig in China?
Is that okay?
I don't know what people get upset about.
So this actually leads articles from the New York Times from August 24th, 2008.
And the headline is: Obama AIDS Defend Banks Pay to Biden's son.
Now, let's look at this article from 2008.
It said, during the years that Joe Biden was helping the credit card industry win passage of law making it harder for consumers to file for bankruptcy protection, Joe Biden's son had a consulting agreement that lasted five years with one of the largest companies pushing for the changes.
Aides to Barack Obama's presidential campaign acknowledged on Sunday.
Yeah, he did a hell of a job just sitting around depositing checks.
He just had a way about him.
He just had a way about him.
Hunter Biden, who works as both a lawyer and a lobbyist in Washington, a company official described him as having a $100,000 a year retainer.
These are all wonderful euphemisms for paying people off.
The word retainer, the word consultant.
Anytime someone's a consultant, what does Hunter Biden know that they need to consult with him about?
You tell me exactly, right?
He knows his father's...
He has access to his father's phone book.
I think that's...
They need it.
They kept him on the consulting board.
Now, this is from 2008 when they still report this stuff.
Mr. Biden's son, Hunter, received consulting fees from the MBNA Corporation from 2001 to 2005 for work on online banking issues.
Hey, what was that work, you think, Lee?
Hey, Hunter, is mobile deposit working?
It is.
Okay, cool.
Here's a bunch of money you don't deserve.
Hey, hey, weren't you kicked out of the Navy for doing drugs?
You can help us with this.
And by the way, I am all for people getting kicked out of the Navy for doing drugs.
I support that.
I just don't support getting paid crazy amounts of money to be a consultant afterwards.
I'm with you.
I agree.
The financial services industry began seeking relief from Congress in the mid-1990s from an increase in bankruptcies that was cutting into its profits.
Excuse me, Congress, we're trying to exploit these poors, and it's getting more difficult because they have nothing.
Do you have our back?
Of course we do, says Joe Biden.
You know that.
So Biden was one of the first Democratic leaders to support the bankruptcy bill, and he voted for it four times, 1998, 2000, 2001, and again in March 2005, when its final version passed the Senate with Biden's vote.
Biden's always been there when people need to be crushed, you know, when it's bankruptcy, locking them up.
He's always there, front and center.
Biden helped defeat amendments aimed at strengthening protections for people forced into bankruptcy who have large medical debts or are in the military.
This is the guy you just elected, just so you know.
Biden was one of the four Democrats who sided with Republicans to defeat an effort to protect debtors from the predatory lenders who helped push them into bankruptcy.
Hey, and we've got an eviction crisis coming up, folks, so buckle up.
So there you go.
I mean, Lee, there is Joe Biden's never, and Hunter Biden, they've been corrupt since the day he got out of college, 100% corrupt, and we're not supposed to be allowed to report on it anymore.
And I just, I think it's weird that they're allowing us to report on the tax scandal.
I guess they feel like it can't do too much damage.
Joe Biden's already elected.
Is that what it is, you think?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, they've stopped suppressing some things.
But yeah, that last one you just talked about with Joe Biden, it perfectly shows how it's both sides of the coin, right?
He's elected.
He gets his office by getting funded by credit card companies.
And then what happens with credit card companies?
They put people deep into debt, but those people can get out of that debt by declaring bankruptcy and not owe them that money.
So then Joe Biden helps pass bills that doesn't allow that.
So it's, you know, that is the, that is the definition of corruption.
It is a giant circle jerk.
You're getting paid by the people that are benefiting from the bill.
It's called crony capitalism, right?
Yeah, which is also just capitalism.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
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And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
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We give you Lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Hey, President-elect Joe Biden's on the line.
Hello.
And furthermore.
Hello.
Hey, this Joe Biden returning your nice message.
And yes, Joe Biden is concerned about his extended car warranty.
Do I give you my social security number now or two minutes from now?
Please call me back in my secret number, Magnolia757.
Joe, you called the wrong person.
I'll get off it, man.
There's no wrong person.
We're all in this together.
Just folks looking for a better break.
I grew up in the land of cow farms and brutal country justice.
And I promise to fight for the brakes that unites us all in a bigger break.
We're moving on up, man.
To the east side.
Yeah.
Remember that song?
Yes.
I fucking don't.
What matters is this?
What?
What matters?
I'm not going to go there, Jack.
Why for?
Because Biden Harris is going to pay off $10,000 of your student loan.
I know what you're thinking, but $10,000 doesn't even pay off a fraction of what I owe in interest.
Then what's the point?
The point is this, man.
Dare to dream.
So look, here's the thing.
I have no plans to step down.
Secondly, five-point beta.
I know times are tough.
The challengers are jaunting, but I know we can do this.
Okay, but do what, Joe?
It!
We've done it before, and we will do it again.
That's great, but what specifically are you talking about?
I'm talking about this is the America, man.
We're the United States of Americans.
From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of New Jersey.
Like my dad used to say, son, I understand you're dying from poverty and lack of health care, but don't expect me to solve it.
But we're the richest nation in the world, Joe.
My dad used to say to me, Joey, stir prune juice with marmalade for five minutes.
You'll take me later.
And I did.
Simple as that.
But what does that mean for the average person, Joe?
Let me tell you something my dad used to say.
Joey.
You got to sing to that groundhog if you want him to give back your lunch money.
Now go fetch my anti-gravity machine because we're going to have lunch on Pluto.
And we did.
Simple as that.
What's your plan to help 12 million Americans who owe $5,800 in back rent, Joe?
Look, first of all, this malarkey that they owe $5,800 in back rent is malarkey because it's mostly interest.
And like my dad used to say, get that muffin out of your nose, son.
And I did.
Simple as that.
We're all Americans, man.
Like my dad used to say, son, we always live in a town where you can find a dead whale in the river.
And he was right.
Can you tell people why you picked Raytheon board member Lloyd Austin for Secretary of War?
Oh, come on, man.
It's not called the Secretariat of War anymore.
So stop it.
You nubs, I was going to pick Florney, didn't you?
Well, I didn't.
I chose someone equally as fucked up.
Fake out.
He's only been retired for the military for four years.
Isn't his nomination a violation of the National Security Act of 1947?
No, come on, man.
If you don't like Austin, then you ain't black.
You know, it's like my dad used to say, son, you and I are going to blow up Wilfred Brimley's donut tower.
And you know what?
He was right.
Damn straight.
Yeah, I'll see you later, Fat.
This curry went right through me.
Keep the faith with the, you know, the thing.
Got some climate change news.
Turns out, guess what?
I knew you knew the rich were contributing to climate change way more than their numbers, disproportionately.
But wait till you find out how much more disproportionately they're contributing to climate change.
Wait till you find this out.
So this is from the BBC News.
Climate change, global elite will need to slash high-carbon lifestyles.
How dare you tread on my right to take a private helicopter to the grocery store?
I got to go get some groceries.
And I live in the Hamptons.
What am I supposed to do?
Drive in a car like a commoner, like a poor study compiled by the UN Environment Program underlines the chasm between the level of emissions consistent with keeping temperatures down and what's happening in the real world.
Get this.
Here it is.
Here's the big, here's the big part of the story.
The global top 10% of income earners use around 45% of all the energy consumed for land transport and around 75% of all the energy for aviation, compared with just 10% and 5%, respectively, for the poorest 50% of households, the report says.
Hey, rich people are wrecking the environment.
Who would have guessed it, huh?
Who would have guessed it?
You know what the best part is?
They're the ones who can afford the electric cars the easiest.
That's the irony.
That's the irony there, Brownie.
The study finds that the global COVID-19 shutdown will have little long-term impact on the climate.
Hey, there's another silver lining gone.
If the world wants to keep on track to restrict the rise in temperatures this century to 1.5 degrees Celsius, then these high carbon footprints will need to be significantly curved to around 2.5 tons of CO2 per capita by 2030.
For the richest 1%, it would mean a dramatic reduction.
The wealthy bear the greatest responsibility in this area.
UNEP executive director Inger Anderson wrote in a foreword to the report.
The wealthy bear the greatest responsibility in this area.
Unfortunately, they also give the littlest shit.
They do bear the most responsibility while at the same time simultaneously carrying the least.
The UNEP report shows that the overconsumption of wealthy minority is fueling the climate crisis.
Yet it is poor communities and young people who are paying the price, said the head of the climate policy at Oxfam.
Because rich people are just going to go to space.
If countries invest in climate action, this could reduce expected emissions in 2030 by around 25%, enough to give the world a 66% chance of holding temperatures below 2 degrees Celsius.
Can I just say there are way too many ifs in that paragraph?
We got to knock back a few of these ifs, folks.
If countries invest in climate change, if, if it predicts that while carbon production will have tumbled by around 7% this year because of the pandemic, this would only reduce warming by about 0.01 Celsius by 2050.
Wow.
Wow.
So, in other words, we can't just go back to normal and we can't afford for nothing to fundamentally change.
But guess what?
we're going to do both those things.
Thank you.
Failed planet.
We're a failed planet.
How billionaires saw their net worth increase by half a trillion dollars during the pandemic.
That's from October 30th.
40 million Americans filed for unemployment during the pandemic.
40 million Americans.
But billionaires saw their net worth increase by half a trillion dollars.
This isn't the first time billionaires have seen gains while others dealt with loss, and it tends to tie back to two things.
First, the government disproportionately gives more aid to larger companies.
Then, when the stock market bounces back, the unequal bailout means that the wealthy still have money on hand to invest and thus profit, while the middle and lower classes do not.
Wealth-friendly tax laws and loopholes then keep those billionaires at the top.
Knowing all of this, some are advocating for policies to help level the playing field and create change.
So, there you go.
Now, you know how the wealthy disproportionately contribute to climate change.
Just in case you didn't have enough bad news.
So, Joe Biden has some more appointees to his cabinet.
Joe Biden has some more appointees to his cabinet.
I bet they're real winners.
I thought they tried to do it.
Could they be the dregs of society?
Could they be directly from the swamp?
Could they be?
Well, let's see.
Biden plans to tap Lloyd Austin, former Iraq commander, as defense secretary.
The retired four-star Army general would make history as the first African American to lead the Pentagon into illegal wars, murdering and slaughtering innocent people all around the world for corporate profit.
That's great.
Now we have a black guy doing it.
What's that joke?
There's that joke.
You know, the Democrats would brag if the Democrats were around in 1860, they would be bragging about their first transgendered slave owner.
That's what this is.
Look, we got a black guy.
He's going to go kill everybody everywhere.
He's going to do illegal wars.
He's going to push imperialism.
Isn't that fantastic?
Surrey, give me something that's wrong with American liberalism in one headline.
There it is.
But where did this guy work at, though?
I mean, I see his four stars, so he's got to be a super duper decent human being.
I'm sure he got all those medals for saving lives, not terrorizing the fuck out of people.
Let's see where he did work.
Oh, my God.
He got a job at Raytheon.
They make money off of killing poor black and brown people.
Isn't that weird?
He used to work for them, and now he's going to go use all the in the it's so great to see diversity among our warmongers.
Oh, yeah.
Now, if you ever don't want to approve a bloated Pentagon budget, you'll be called a racist.
Isn't that nice?
So, if so, if I go against the Pentagon budget, they could call me a racist now because they got a black guy doing it.
See how neoliberalism works?
That's just liberalism.
That's just straight up liberalism.
So, he was the general Iraq, and that went swimmingly.
I've got high hopes for this guy.
Let's see.
Lloyd J. Austin III is a member of the Raytheon Technologies Board of Directors.
He brings expertise in government, senior leadership, and international affairs.
General Austin has been a member of the Raytheon Technologies Board.
He is a retired four-star U.S. Army general with nearly 41 years of military service, including three years as the head of U.S. Central Command.
He also was the combined forces commander in Iraq and Syria, and he has the extensive operational experience, having commanded troops in combat throughout his command.
In other words, he has all the qualifications to be a warmongering psychopath.
Just what we need.
Today, he serves on the board of directors of Nucor Corporation, Tenant Healthcare Corporation, and Guest Services Inc., and on the board of trustees of the Carnegie Corporation of New York and Auburn University.
Because if there's one thing higher education needs more of, it's Raytheon.
We're looking for the bomb makers of the future.
So, if you get good at killing people and terrorizing other countries in imperialistic illegal wars, look at all how capitalism rewards you.
Look how neoliberalism rewards you.
Isn't that amazing?
The guy's a professional killer.
He's on a health board.
That's the irony there, right?
He's a professional murderer.
And he's on a health company board, Tenant Healthcare Corporation.
You kill him, and then we'll fix him up.
Wow.
He works for Raytheon.
He works for the Army, right?
The Pentagon.
So Raytheon makes the bombs.
He then goes uses them and then he works for Tenant, who fixes up the, it's amazing.
Quite a scam they got going.
Here's some more people from Biden's cabinet.
Are you ready?
More people from Biden's cabinet?
Here's some more people from Biden's cabinet.
Are you ready?
Breaking, Biden's health and human services pick backed Medicare for all and pressed Obama to take action against pharmaceutical companies.
Now he will be in position to grant states Medicare for all waivers and to take the action against big pharma that he said he supports.
Now, I'm just going to, David Sirot, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt here and say he's just reporting that he doesn't believe any of that.
Does he?
Because that's bullshit.
I've been in California.
I'd cover California politics.
I never heard that guy advocate for Medicare for all.
Well, let's take a look, shall we?
Does he advocate for Medicare for all?
Let's take a look.
So here, House Resolution Bill 676, expand and improve Medicare for ActOL.
Co-sponsors.
This was from 2011.
There he is.
There he is.
He's co-sponsoring it on May 13th, 2011.
There he is.
Huh.
Maybe he really is for Medicare for all, David Sirota.
Maybe he really is.
Except here's that same bill for 2013.
Where's his name?
It's not there.
Where's his name?
It's not there.
Isn't that weird?
Oh, here it is from 2014, 2015.
Where's his name?
It's not there.
It's not there.
Xavier Becerra co-sponsored Medicare for all legislation in the House of Representatives in 2005, 2007, 2009, and 2011.
After he became chair of the House Democratic caucus, he stopped doing that.
So he's just like Anthony Rendon here in California, who's the Speaker of the Assembly here in California.
We have super majority Democrats.
Democrats could do whatever they want in California.
We have Democratic governor, super majority in the House and the Senate.
They can do whatever they want.
And the guy who runs the House, the Assembly, is a guy named Anthony Rendon, who's been running on Medicare for All since 2007.
He became the second most powerful guy in the whole fucking legislature.
And now he does, I don't know how to do it.
Now he just doesn't know how to do it.
Same thing with our friend Xavier.
Doesn't know, oh my God, now I'm the co-chair of the Democratic.
I don't know how to do this.
Which is exactly what's happening today with the co-chair in the House, Mark Pocan.
He's pretending he doesn't know how to withhold a vote from Nancy Pelosi as Speaker to get us a vote on Medicare for all.
As soon as they get power, they all run on Medicare for All and they virtue signal.
But as soon as they can get you Medicare for all, they tuck their tail.
They're like, I don't know how to do this.
can't do this.
So what, so what, so what happened after 2011?
Breaking, Hillary Clinton supports universal health care in the early 90s.
So there's your two new appointments.
Enjoy them.
I hope you're happy that you voted for Joe Biden.
I did not.
I will never vote for another corporatist, warmongering maniac who's an enemy of workers and wants to expand the police state and the prison population.
Not doing it.
I'm not voting for my enemy anymore.
You can, and you can feel good about it.
I'm not doing it.
And you're never going to make me feel bad about it.
I feel great voting by conscience.
You can participate in the destruction of your own society.
Go right the fuck ahead.
Joe Biden is going to be more destructive than Donald Trump was.
He's going to start at least two new wars.
Mark my words.
He's not even president yet.
He's going to start two new wars.
At least.
At least.
Thank you.
At least.
And let's see what he does when 19 million people get kicked out of their house because you know what he did last time we were in a similar financial downturn?
He kicked those people out of their fucking house and made the banks bigger.
And they're going to shut your business down and then he's going to put you in prison if you try to go against it.
I just want to say, at least he's got an X in his name.
It is the sexiest name, the sexiest letter in the whole alphabet, only second to Z. Don't I know it?
Don't I know it?
Jimmy calls me Steph Zambrano.
He calls me the wrong name all the time.
You think after all these years that he'd get it right?
You would think.
You would think, wouldn't you?
So as a joke, I refer to Steph as Steph Zambrano.
I like to mispronounce words.
I like to mispronounce names.
It's fun.
Makes life fun for me.
So there used to be a baseball player, I think, on the Chicago Cubs named Zembrano.
And so one time my friend, a comedian friend, referred to Steph as Zembrano, trying to remember her name, but couldn't.
And then Zambrano was a baseball player anyway.
And so we all had a laugh.
And so for the rest of my life, I always refer to her as Zembrano.
And I'm sure I do it on air and I do it in real life.
And so I was on Ted Alexandro.
Alexandro's show, and he referred to Steph Zambrano.
And I was like, oh, that's my fault.
That's not his fault.
So I didn't even correct him.
I just let it go.
So I just want to remind you that even as they're denying you money for help, the Democrats, Nancy Pelosi, they won't do anything to help you.
They won't give you a cash payment, a stimulus.
Nancy Pelosi denied you a stimulus before the election to try to screw Donald Trump, and now she's getting half of what Trump offered before.
And this is the result of that.
This is the result of the Democrats voting for the CARES Act while giving $5 trillion to the richest people in the country.
They get you $1,200.
That's it.
This is the result of that.
This was predicted was going to happen on our show, and here it is happening.
There's thousands of people in lines all over the country to get food.
19 million Americans are going to lose their homes at the end.
They're going to be kicked out of their house.
Nancy Pelosi now backs a stimulus deal that's half the size of what the White House offered before the election.
So you ain't getting help.
But guess who is?
Congress is deadlocked on COVID relief, but came together to fund the Pentagon for $740 billion.
Wow.
Now that's more than the next 10 countries combined.
China, Russia, France, the UK, India, whoever.
Count up the next biggest 10 countries.
Put them together.
That's more than them.
And we don't have a goddamn enemy.
No one's trying to invite him in the United States.
Uh...
Still haven't run out of bomb money in the United States.
United States is to bombs what a gambling addict is to a casino.
Under President Trump, when the Democratic leadership claims to have struck more confrontational posture, those same leaders have repeatedly handed him bloated military budgets, as we saw Wednesday with Congress' bicameral approval of roughly $740 billion in the military budget for 2021.
I like the use of bicameral.
That's nice.
Bicameral.
I didn't know that.
Touch your mouth.
I know.
Did you ever see bicameral toe?
That's pretty bicameral toe.
So look at that.
$740 billion they gave to the war budget.
They didn't cut it.
I didn't hear anybody screaming about it in the Democratic Party either.
Did you?
I did not.
I didn't even know what happened.
Did you know what happened?
Do you watch this show?
It's only Trump's threats to veto the National Defense Authorization.
That's the NDAA, the National Defense Authorization Act.
It is only Trump's threat to veto it over his objections to some liability protections for social media companies that cut through the noise.
So he's vowing to veto it because they're going to give liability protections to Twitter and Facebook, and Trump is at war with those people.
And so he's vowing to, he's going to threaten to veto it because of that.
Trump's veto threat, a must-pass defense bill on must-pass defense bill, meets GOP resistance because the National Defense Authorization Act includes a pay raise for military troops.
So now if you're against it, they're going to say you're against giving a pay raise to our troops.
Do you see how cynical this is?
As Congress races to pass the NDAA for 2021, it does so in a country that is hurtling toward months that could be among the most difficult in the public health history of this nation, according to the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
But come on, there's bombs we got to drop.
Yeah, we're heading into the most difficult public health history of our nation, but man, we got some bombs we got to drop.
Sure, the United States is an economy of death, both abroad and domestically, more so than ever before.
That's it.
I don't have anything else.
Along with this health crisis comes economic devastation.
Lines for food banks are stretching for miles, and one in six people is food insecure.
As of September, one in six adults say they live in a house that's behind on rent.
This is in the United States.
Tell me more about how great capitalism is.
Go ahead.
Tell me more about how great capitalism is.
At this rate, I think we're going to get one in six adults say they're behind a nearly $3 trillion in stimulus spending so far has come from bills passed in March,
including the CARES Act, which together combined corporate bailouts and tax breaks for the wealthy with measures that, while insufficient, provided expanded unemployment insurance and $1,200 in checks to Americans.
As the pandemic was raging, Congress had no problem passing legislation to continue U.S. military violence.
The Senate version of the NDAA passed in July 23rd in a vote of 86 to 14, while the House version was approved July 21st by a vote of 295 to 125.
This defense bill was approved December 2nd by both chambers of Congress.
But you couldn't get more than a one-time $1,200 fuck you payment to the people.
Nope.
You know, the government works really slowly, you know, unless it's for the war machine or Wall Street.
Ajuma Baraka says, did you see the news coverage of the legislation passed in Congress yesterday that authorized $740 billion for the Pentagon?
No, you are not supposed to be considered with that.
The ruling class bill is passed, but there is no agreement on money for the people.
That's right.
I can't believe, you mean CNN and Fox and MSNBC, they weren't all over this?
I didn't see anybody even on the floor of the house going, shame.
I didn't hear it.
Shame.
I didn't hear anybody waving their arms saying shame.
I didn't.
And so here's what we do spend money on, the Yemen war.
We're spending money on the Yemen war.
This person says, heartbreaking.
I'd never imagined that one day I will see children like this in Yemen.
This child is from Haljia, a government.
He is suffering from severe accurate malnutrition.
That's a person.
And we're helping do that.
That's the money that we have money to do that.
That's your country.
Bunch of fucking maniac terrorists.
Oh, hey, Matthew McConaughey's calling me.
I hope he doesn't use his status as a celebrity to lecture me on centrism.
Hello, hello, hello, Bandito, Bandito, Bandito.
All right, all right, all right.
You know what that pattern of threes means, cowboy.
Think about it.
No, I what it means we all gotta be aggressively centrist.
That's what I'm talking about.
Hello on the extreme left and hello on the extreme right ain't even on the damn pavement anymore.
You gotta be the change you want to be, but do it for the middle of the road, because why?
That's where the yellow line is.
Do you get my bet?
No, no, I don't.
When you run into an old pal and go, bandito, bandito, bandito, which bandito do they remember?
The middle one.
My work is to define the science behind the valuable, the science behind the disparate end elements of society.
The science of why they work.
I mean, literally, right?
I guess.
Yes.
I see the supply.
Understand the demand.
I see the credit sheet.
I see the numbers.
And the numbers work out, Jimmy.
And that's why I drive a Lincoln bandito.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorrComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landowitz, Steph Zamarano, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out!
Do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
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