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July 30, 2020 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:07:49
20200730_TJDS_20200729_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore show.
Hey, you know what?
We haven't heard from friend of the show, Vince Vaughan, in some time.
Let's see how he's doing.
Identify yourself, please.
Hey, Vince, it's Jimmy Dore.
Oh, hey, Timmy, what's up?
How's it going?
Jimmy.
You sound a little down, Vince.
Well, you know what, James Doerr, Esquire?
I have to admit, I'm not my usual chipper self today.
I'm a little miffed, if I'm being completely honest with you, myself, and the God of all heaven and earth.
Well, why is that?
Why are you miffed?
I'm feeling a little excluded.
And feeling excluded is never a good feeling.
I think that's a universal the human condition.
I feel confident in saying that.
Obviously, I'm used to feeling excluded by the Hollywood establishment and the left coast liberal elite, but today I'm feeling excluded by my own tribe.
And it's different, Jimmy.
That stinks.
Wow, what happened, Vince?
Did you see?
Did I see what?
The travesty, the fucking travesty of justice.
You know what I'm talking about.
I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
They announced the list of conservative celebrities who would be speaking at the 2020 online Republican National Convention.
And instead of Trump loyalist Vince Vaughan, America's beloved double V, they got Ted Nugent, Scott Bayo, diamond in fucking silk, and Antonio Sabato, whoever the fuck that is, Junior.
Vids.
Those nobodies over me.
I was in old school, goddammit.
What has Scott Bale bitten lately?
Is there something in Charles even more in charge reboot bullshit on Netflix right now that I don't even know about?
How long has it been since Ted Nugent had a hit record?
The last time somebody said, let's play Wango Tango, unironically, Ronald Reagan had zero bullet holes in him.
Vids, but Vids.
You know what?
I don't care.
It's not even a real convention anyway.
I'll hold out until they get a stage.
It was going to be over Zoom or some shit.
I'm not doing that.
I don't Zoom.
That's gay.
What?
You know me?
I'm a proud Luddite.
People started getting email addresses.
I said that's gay.
Social media, not on it.
Super gay.
I even still use gay as a pejorative, even though I'm not supposed to.
I'm the last guy who says stuff is gay.
Vids!
What?
Vids!
That was a hoax.
It was fake news.
I know it got spread around as fact for a few days, but it's been debunked.
It's not real.
Yeah, I knew that.
Well, it did sound like you did.
Yeah, well, I was testing to see if you do it.
I mean, you're always the one falling for fake news, not me.
Actually, Vince, we double-check our stories over here.
Yeah, yeah, I bet you do.
Anyway, whoever fell for that was a sucker, and I am not a sucker.
Scott Bale, give me a break.
What did I just fall off the turnip truck?
I don't think so, Jimmy Dore.
So if you were asked to speak at the Republican convention, you would.
I mean, that's not necessarily the impression I was trying to give necessarily.
Yeah, okay.
For future reference, you may want to check, you know, our show.
Yeah, nice try.
I'll be getting my cold hard facts from Newsmax and Matt Drudge like I always have.
Oh, and hey, Vince, I'm seeing right now here, actually, that Ron Silver will be speaking in front of Congress about how Hollywoods are a bunch of pussies.
What?
What?
That's my goddamn pipe dream.
What are you talking about?
That's my thing.
Got you again, Vince.
Oh, you dirty son of a bitch.
Establishment media sets of artists fighting.
So good luck with bullshit they can't afford by momenting this world.
Watch and see as a jack dog comedian who speeds and jumps the medium and hits them head-on.
It's the Jimmy Door show.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
And I know things are really bad right now, and it's tough to do a comedy show in times like this, but thank goodness it hasn't reached the point where people have stopped posting pictures of their lunch.
A man in Hartford, Connecticut.
This is how bad things are getting.
People are going nuts.
A man in Hartford, Connecticut was arrested for cutting his landlord's head off over a rent dispute.
The DA says he's been charged with violating his lease and probably won't get his deposit back.
I bet he won't.
He will.
Did you know that Elon Musk, George Clooney is going to talk about this, Elon Musk, is going to sell his own brand of tequila?
No.
It's called, Are You Ready for This Tesla Kila?
After you buy it, your friends will think you're an asshole and you'll end up drunk and stranded on the road.
Did you know that for the last three weeks in Russia, tens of thousands of Russians have been protesting Vladimir Putin in eastern Russia?
MSNBC says Putin is probably behind this.
Okay, I'm going to skip that joke.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez puts Joe Biden and the Democratic Party ahead of the people.
Plus, DNC blocks Medicare for all from the Democratic Party platform, and Bernie Sanders delegates are fighting, but Bernie is doing nothing.
Plus, CNN lawyer attacks Julian Assange, and a supposed feel-good story exposes the failure of Joe Biden's America.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Vince Vaughan, Bernie Sanders, George Clooney, and Joe Biden, plus a lot lot more.
That's today of the Jimmy Door show.
So I've been urging people to pressure their favorite politicians instead of making excuses for them when they stab you in the front.
And it turns out Bernie's delegates, Bernie's own delegates, are the ones doing this.
Standing up, I mean.
So here, look at this.
Scoop.
More than 360 Democratic delegates, most of whom back Bernie Sanders, have signed on to a pledge to vote against the Democratic Party's platform if it does not include support for Medicare for all.
Say the petition's organizers.
A revolt is brewing among Bernie Sanders delegates three weeks from the Democratic National Convention.
They argue that single-payer health care is an urgent priority amid a worldwide pandemic and the biggest unemployment crisis since the Great Depression.
You would think that single-payer health care is an urgent priority amid a worldwide pandemic, but it turns out it's not.
I mean, for our rulers.
Remember, you don't live in a democracy, and this story is going to prove that.
Look at that.
A record 5.4 million Americans have lost health insurance study fines.
That's from July 13th.
This pandemic has shown us that our private health insurance system does not work for the American people.
Millions of people have lost their jobs and their health care at the same time, said Judith Whitmer.
That's a Sanders delegate and chair of the convention's Nevada delegation.
There's people leaving the hospital now with millions of dollars in medical bills.
What are we going to do about that?
The warning is all but certain to set up a clash between Sanders' most dedicated supporters and presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden, who opposes Medicare for all.
At a time when the party is seeking to demonstrate unity ahead of its August convention, organizers also said they are not being divisive.
We're not giving you health care, and that's not divisive.
We're not giving you a UBI and that's not divisive.
What?
They say it's the party leaders overruling the grassroots are being divisive.
Exactly.
Telling people that can't have Medicare for all when the rest of the Western world has it, that's divisive.
Demanding it is not.
Demanding we have Medicare for all is not divisive because guess what?
The majority of the country wants Medicare for all, including Republicans, but about 90% of Democrats.
And so by not putting it in the platform, Joe Biden is being divisive.
You follow this logic?
I hope so.
So the progressive Bernie Sanders delegates who aren't going to, who are putting their foot down, they point to exit polls showing that majority of Democratic primary voters across the states are in favor of Medicare for all.
Last week, the DNC committee released a draft platform that did not include support for Medicare for all or other top progressive priorities, such as a jobs guarantee, a Green New Deal.
Nope.
Won't even, first of all, do you understand that the platform is less than meaningless, couldn't be less meaningless?
It doesn't mean anything.
And they won't even do that.
That's what I said last time.
Hillary Clinton wouldn't even give us lip service that she was going to give us health care.
She wouldn't even give, she would, the only time she got animated in the whole 2016 campaign is when she was screaming about how a Medicare for all will never happen.
It will never come to pass.
It will never come to pass.
They won't even give us lip service.
You have two parties in America: a crazy right-wing party and a moderate right-wing party.
You have no moderate party.
You have no centrist party.
You have no left party.
You have no center-left party.
You have nothing.
I mean, viable.
I mean, viable.
So they're not putting in Medicare for all or a Green New Deal or a jobs guarantee, despite Senator Sanders aid's efforts to include them as planks.
And what is Bernie Sanders supposed to do in that situation?
What Bernie Sanders is supposed to do is tell Joe Biden to go fucking pound sand.
I ain't telling my supporters to back you until you give people health care, you piece of shit.
That's what he's supposed to do.
You won't even give us lip service for it?
Fuck you.
That's what he's supposed to do.
But Bernie is a cuck, as Kyle Kalinsky has pointed out time and time again.
Bernie is a cuck and he's been cucked.
And so he ain't going to get you health care.
He's going to let the machine roll right on over you.
He's helping push the machine.
In the Democratic Party, there's an attitude that we have to write our platform to match the candidate, Whitmer said.
We want to get back to the way it should be, which is the people create the platform based on our values and principles and what we want the candidate to support.
DNC committee blocks Medicare for all from the 2020 draft platform.
That's our update.
That's from July 27th.
DNC committee blocks Medicare for all from 2020 draft party platform.
Thank you.
Democrats blocked an attempt to include Medicare for All in the party's 2020 draft platform.
Medicare for all advocates were thwarted by 125 DNC committee members.
The amendment, which will be further debated at the national convention next month, received 36 votes in favor.
What kind of a party has 90% of its registered members wanting a thing and it not giving it to them?
Overwhelmingly not giving it to them.
125, 30, overwhelmingly.
How is that a political, how is that a real political party?
That's not.
That's an organization set up by oligarchs to fuck you.
That's not a political party.
History will not judge this kindly.
DNC platform committee votes down Medicare for all amendment.
It's like opposing the New Deal during the Great Depression.
It's unforgivable.
And so do you understand why you're supposed to be pressuring your elected leaders, not apologizing for them or defending them?
Roots.org action co-founder Jeff Cohen wrote that the fact that our nation is the only advanced industrial country without universal health care cannot be blamed on Republicans' obstruction alone.
And it's also caused by Democratic leaders who've spent decades catering to corporate interests while collecting their campaign donations and refusing to fight for universal coverage.
The committee also voted down separate amendments, attempts to include support for expanding Medicare to include children.
No, voted it down.
Hey, could we expand Medicare to include children?
No.
Dropping the Medicare eligibility age from 65 to 55?
They said no.
You know, Hillary Clinton offered to drop the Medicare age to 50.
They won't even drop it to 55.
Do you know we're going backwards by huge leaps going backwards?
And your solution is still vote blue.
That's still your solution.
That's still what you think is going to get us because real change happens when you vote Joe Biden and Democrats.
Look at all the change we've had since the Democrats took over the House.
Look how they've given Trump absolutely everything he's asked for and an extra $132 billion for military spending that they gave to a guy who they say is a traitor to our country.
Plus they expanded his spying powers.
Plus, they gave him money to build his wall.
All at the same time, they turned their back on DACA.
They turned their back on a jobs guarantee.
They turned their back on Medicare for all, a Green New Deal, UBI, anything to help you.
The Democrats, no, you can't have it.
Isn't this awesome?
But you go turn on all the other, all the other YouTube lefty shows, and they're all telling you what great fucking people we have in the Democratic Party and how we got to stand by them.
Probably fundraising for them.
And now you know why we're probably fundraising for them.
And now you know why we're in the shit show we're in.
Because our fucking people who consider themselves lefty media are in bed with the fucking problem.
That's real.
They won't even legalize fucking marijuana.
I'm sorry, Steph.
They won't even fucking legalize marijuana, these pukes.
This is your Democratic Party.
You're not screaming.
Bernie Sanders isn't screaming at the top of his lungs that the Democratic Party has betrayed us.
No.
He's betraying you.
I'm sorry.
No worries.
I just wanted to go backwards, say expanding Medicare to children, right?
And they're not, no, we can't do this.
No, by the way, you know, just as you were reading that, I'm like, it just, how does that not like just knock the wind out of you?
I know.
They're not going to take care of children.
Okay, but I just want to add to this, too, that the statistic is 2.5 million children are homeless.
2.5 million children in America are homeless.
And that the Democrats are completely inept on purpose.
On purpose.
They wouldn't even...
They're going backwards by huge leaps.
And that's what Joe Biden means when he says nothing fundamentally will change.
That's what he means.
No one's getting health care.
No one's getting a job.
And we're going to be more like Brazil every day.
And if you want to vote for that, you're a fucking idiot.
And it turns out half the country are fucking idiots.
The whole country is a bunch of fucking idiots.
That's how we got these leaders like that.
People think Barack Obama was a good guy.
And the other half of the country thinks fucking Donald Trump is actually sticking it to the establishment as he gives them everything they ever wanted.
Trump presided over the largest upward transfer of wealth on the history of our country.
Don't ever fucking forget that.
He is not your friend.
He is all talk.
He is a bullshitting con man, which is why you don't have health care, which is why you're afraid to get sick, which is why you're afraid to lose your house right now, which is why you don't have a job.
Bernie Sanders spokesman Mike Casca on many of his delegates pledging to vote against a Democratic Party platform that does impact Medicare for all.
He says Senator Sanders believes that the Democratic Party platform should advocate strongly for Medicare for all.
And that, of course, is a major reason why we fought so hard for the nomination.
The Senate appreciates that amid a deadly pandemic, which is creating a national health care emergency, his delegates understand that now, more than ever, we must guarantee health care as a human right.
Except you're not ever going to do anything to make sure that happens, Bernie, except fucking say shit like that.
What you should do right now is say, no, I'm telling my people to not vote for you, Joe, until you promise to give them health care.
At least promise.
I know you're not going to do it, but at least you have to promise, or else I'm going to look like a fucking idiot in front of my people.
Bernie Sanders does not care about looking like a fucking sellout in front of his own people.
He cares about looking like someone who stood up for you in front of the establishment.
That's what Bernie Sanders is doing right now.
She says Sanders will vote for the party platform.
Oh, you will.
Why not vote against it?
Make a stand because you're a fucking nutless wonder who props up the Democratic Party and squashes a third party movement.
That's what Bernie Sanders does.
And that might be hard to hear right now, but in a few months, you'll all be like, oh, God damn right, Jimmy Doe was right.
Sanders will vote for the party platform as a super delegate.
The fucking irony.
Per an aid to him.
As I said in my story today, the pledge by many Sanders delegates to vote against a platform without Medicare for all represents something of a split over strategy between him and his supporters.
You mean a split on strategy?
You mean like his supporters actually want to try to get it and he doesn't give a fuck?
You mean like that kind of a split on strategy?
Bernie's strategy is to do absolutely nothing to make sure Medicare for all happens.
His supporters actually want to pressure Joe Biden.
Bernie says, fuck you, go pounce sand.
His supporters say, no, maybe we should hold out.
Bernie says, fuck off.
You're not getting health care.
Vote for Joe Biden.
I'll be dead in a few years.
Who gives a fuck?
That's what Bernie says.
Ugh.
The Democrats are making a fatal mistake by turning their backs on Medicare for All.
This will backfire and they won't be able to blame Bernie Sanders this time.
He's a company man now.
Oh, yeah, is he?
All it would take is for Trump to come out and say, I'm going to expand Medicare to cover everybody in the middle of a pandemic.
I'm going to give everybody a UBI.
And if you want a job, we'll give you a job.
Oh, by the way, we're going to get out of Afghanistan.
First of all, just one of those things will win him in the election.
But what he ran on last time was giving you health care.
Trump ran on that and getting us out of the Middle East wars.
He ran on that.
And everybody decent jobs.
He ran on that.
He didn't do any of those.
And the country still wants them.
Joe Biden isn't offering you any one of those three either.
Neither is Trump.
People still want them.
That's how easy it is for Trump to win this election if he wanted to.
He's down by like 10 points.
All he had to do, come on.
One of those things.
Hey, I'm going to get us out of Afghanistan.
We're starting tomorrow.
I asked the generals to draw up a plan.
Hey, we're going to expand Medicare to cover everybody until this, you know, for the next two years, till we're out of this depression.
And we're going to offer a job to anybody who wants one during this depression.
And you got your new president.
That's how bad it is.
They won't even say it.
Trump was at least saying it in 2016, that he's going to give everybody health care, gets out of the Middle East wars, and give everybody a good job.
He was at least saying it.
Hillary wouldn't.
Now Joe Biden won't say it, and neither will Trump.
That's how good.
That's how good the Democrats are doing.
They won't even fucking legalize in the platform, which is meaningless.
Do you understand what a giant red, white, and blue middle finger the Democratic Party is giving to you right now?
Do you understand the giant red, white, and blue middle finger is jamming in your eye?
But you got to vote because, you know, Joe Biden, he'll at least listen to you.
You could really work.
He's not listening to you before you vote for him, you jackass, you unbelievable moron.
He's not listening to you before you vote for him, you stupid dupe on purpose.
You're going to be able to move.
Well, he'll at least get in the ring.
The amount of naivety and on-purpose stupidity of people who consider them left is mind-blowing.
They're as dumb as any Tea Party bagger, whatever, if any fuck.
They're even dumber.
No, you got to vote Biden.
Why?
Because he'll listen to us and we can work with him.
What?
What is your evidence for that?
Oh, I'm pulling it out of my ass.
Because that's never been the case.
Joe Biden has never listened to us ever.
And he's not doing it right now.
In fact, he's giving us the biggest red, white, and blue finger right in our eye.
Come on, Jimmy.
Why would the Democrat Party legalize Pot?
How is that going to continue to fund their prison?
That's right.
Right?
This is all about prison.
That's right.
100%.
He continues to be tied.
And if he picks Kamala Harris, they'll be on the same page about exploiting people.
Do you know what this is?
This is what's called a rapacious oligarchy, meaning the Democratic Party is not just wrong or corrupt.
They're evil.
And Bernie is supporting evil.
Bernie's been doing evil a lot lately.
He voted for the CARES Act.
That's evil.
He did it.
This is evil.
They're now evil.
They're now advocating for locking up human beings in cages to benefit the bank account of some other people.
And they're using marijuana to do it.
That's the Democrats.
Evil.
Not just wrong, not just corrupt, but actually evil.
And how you could look into anyone's eye and tell them they have to vote for that.
You are soulless.
You know, right before you do that, your soul leaves your body.
Did you know that?
That's why it feels so fucked up when you say it.
When you tell somebody they'd have to vote blue, you know why it fucking feels weird right now?
That's because your soul has to leave your body first.
105 to 60.
They voted down.
105 to 60.
That's your party?
The platform was unlikely to ever endorse full legalization since Joe Biden, the presumptive nominee, does not back the policy.
Dennis Obutsky, a delegate who introduced a legalization amendment, noted that the current document is a step backwards from the 2016 platform, which supported providing a reasoned pathway for future legalization.
Iowa County Supervisor Stacey Walker argued that the current federal laws disproportionately affect black people.
I'm imploring all of you to approach this with an open mind and heart.
Do something big here, Walker said.
Take one small but meaningful step towards changing the course of history.
If my black life matters to you, you will consider this amendment.
No.
Your black life does not matter to the Democratic oligarchs.
Don't be silly.
Breaking by 117 to 34, the Democratic National Committee Platform Committee, the Democratic National DNC Platform Committee, members vote to oppose proposed language that would express the party's opposition to Israeli settlements in the West Bank and support conditioning aid to Israel in response to annexation.
They voted that down.
They can't even say in a platform that Israel should have to follow the law.
They can't even do that.
So there you go.
There's your Democratic Party.
That's kind of jaw-dropping, huh?
Because you're going to turn on every other show, and they're going to tell you you have to vote for Joe Biden.
They're going to have to tell you that it's okay.
They're going to tell you that Bernie Sanders is fighting for you.
They're going to tell you that they're not.
None of them are.
Nick Barana was on the show.
Representative Pramila Jayapel, whose number one issue is Medicare for All.
She's not fighting anymore.
She already told Nick she's not going to do that.
She's not fighting for Medicare for All anymore.
She's not fighting for anything.
She said she's waiting until January.
So while people, while 23 million people get kicked out of their house, some people say 27 million, and they still don't have health care in the middle of a pandemic, and nobody has a job, and we're still in seven wars, your progressive elected officials, they're done.
They're not going to work for the rest of the year.
They're done advocating for you.
They're just going to do whatever the fucking Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi tells them to.
That's what they're saying.
And you got to vote blue, no matter who.
You got to vote Democrat for real progress to protect people.
Oh, Bernie Sanders is calling in.
Hello, Bernie.
Hello, Jimmy.
I am calling to remind you listeners the next 100 days may be the most important 100 days in the history of our country.
All right.
Satisfy you.
So why don't you fight it out through the convention?
Because I don't think Joe Biden would have withstood the strain.
Regis Philbert is a better condition than that guy.
Regis Philman just died.
See what I mean?
So are you supporting the 700 delegates who just pledged to vote against the party's platform unless it contains Medicare for all?
I'm very, very close to that.
Only now it's masks for all, not Medicare for all.
Masks for all is not Medicare for all, Bernie.
Hey, Dr. Doctor, may I speak, please?
Every credible doctor and scientist tells us that wearing masks is critical to saving lives and stopping the spread of COVID-19.
And so roughly, therein lies the basis for my masks for all bill.
But wouldn't Medicare for All cover masks for all?
What the fuck is your problem?
It's the same acronym, MFA.
You could even replace the F with the number four, like the other one.
See?
So are you supporting the delegate revolt for single payer or not?
That's a fair question, Jimmy, and I'm glad you asked.
As you know, I have initiated a committee to look at the setting up a task force exploring the subject.
It's called the Mask Medicare for All Unity Task Force.
When can we expect the results of this task force?
About a month from now.
And when's the convention, Bernie?
About a month from now.
But that's no time at all to do anything.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, now you want to do something.
Fine.
Is there no end to your complaints?
But what happened to your revolution?
As I said from the beginning, this racist about me.
So should we support the delegate revolt?
We must unite behind Biden to meet our greatest challenge.
Okay, I'll forget about Medicare for all and vote for Biden.
No, that's just an occult.
You idiot, think for yourself.
You're right.
I'll think for myself then.
No, don't think for yourself just because I tell you to.
I'm kind of confused now.
Of course you are.
And when you're confused, that's the time to unite behind Joe.
Two days ago, you tweeted Medicare should be expanded to cover everyone.
All right.
Well, who are you going to believe?
Me and my Twitter posts.
So let me get this straight.
You won't back the delegate movement to include Medicare for all on the platform, but you are demanding the Senate pass a bill this week to expand Medicare for all?
Yes.
But, but, but I. Dylar.
Look.
In four years, we've gone for Medicare for all will never happen.
The masks for all might happen.
So put a rag over your face, shut the fuck up and vote for Joe before I beat the living shit out of you.
You understand?
Okay, thanks, Bernie.
See quest out.
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She pronounces her name Stephanie.
Well, whoop D fucking do Jimmy Door Show podcast.
If they had an extra super bonus double platinum membership, I'd get it.
They got off my cable.
So Jimmy's podcast is the only way I know what's going on in the world.
Like that we live in a police state.
There's no difference between the Democrats, Republicans, and shadow governments after our pot.
Premium memberships for the Jimmy Door show.
Because with that titanium replacement spine, Jimmy has, it's not like he can get a day job.
Now back to the Jimmy Dore Show, already in progress.
Wow, is that George Clooney on the phone?
I hope he doesn't call me his little pop-tart and ask how my money maker is shaking.
Hello.
Hey there, my little pop-tart.
How's your moneymaker shaking?
I knew it was coming.
It's still funny.
Hi, George.
What's happening, buddy?
George Clooney, how are you?
Having a little showdown, you might say.
Elon Musk.
Don't know if you've heard of him.
The electric car guy.
Correct the Mundo, Kimo Sabi.
And of course, you're familiar with my world-class man's drink, Casamigos, Tequila of the Stars.
Yeah, yes, your tequila company.
Yes.
Well, this Musk cat, he's been trying to cut in on my action.
You know what I mean?
Uh, how?
He's starting his own tequila brand called Keslaquila.
No.
That's a cheap pun, right?
He took the name of this of his car and put tequila at the end.
What's that about?
And he's threatening your business?
All because I badmouthed his dumb stupid little electric cart 12 years ago.
What did you say about it?
I bought one of those things and it kept breaking down.
I was spending more time on the side of the road than driving it.
But you know what?
That's when I got the idea for a specialty brand of tequila brewed by Hollywood's George Clooney on the rocks by the shot or straight from the bottle.
The rest is history.
Wait.
Well, what are you going to do about it?
Just take it slow and easy, my friend.
The clune way.
I'm going to sue the living fuck out of that little shit sting.
Well, good luck, I guess.
Hey, champ.
Confession to make.
I didn't blast you on the horn to talk about cars you'll never be able to touch, drive, or afford, right?
I called to invite you and your very, very, very special lady to join the Kloon Meister and Barack OF Obama for a virtual front racer to help Joe Biden's campaign.
So, bud, you with me.
A virtual fundraiser for Joe Biden?
He needs more money.
Campaigns cost money, bro.
You don't think Casamigo's got success through word of mouth, do you?
You ever drink tequila?
Uh, yeah.
It tastes like turpentine until you mix the crap with lime and juice and sugar.
No, Amigo.
It took millions in advertising and some tight shots of my iconic salt and pepper beard to get that ball on the road, Jack.
Casamigos, smooth going down, smoother coming up.
But he's already got 100 ultra-rich donors.
Turn the record over, honey.
I'm tired of that tune.
Ah, is this going to be another billion-dollar Democratic campaign while one-third of the country is facing eviction?
Oh, come on.
You can't afford $250 for Zoom tickets.
No, and neither can most of the country, George.
Well, then, I'm guessing the $250,000 tickets are out of your range as well.
Yes.
Yes, they are.
That's $250 large, Daddy.
Got that?
Barack O'Fucking Obama and yours truly, the Klunmeister.
No go.
I'll take a rate check on that one, George.
Oak to the doke, dickhead.
*laughter*
Don't ever say I didn't give you the heads up.
And don't you worry, James.
Come January, we're going to take care of all that health care and legalizing weed stuff.
Till then, don't get sick, Dick.
Got a Mosey.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and an interview in the New York Times.
This is from April.
This is from April 13th.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has never spoken to Joe Biden.
Here's what she would say.
In an interview, Miss Ocasio-Cortez said she intended to support the presumptive Democratic nominee, but the process of coming together should be uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Let's see how uncomfortable she's making it for Joe Biden.
Question: Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez' endorsement of Joe Biden a sure thing?
I've always said that I will support the Democratic nominee.
Sure thing.
What happened to making it uncomfortable for everyone involved?
Oh, she doesn't really mean that.
She just says those things.
That's not real.
That's theater.
That's what AOC does.
She does theater.
This is theater.
That's not fucking real.
She's not making it uncomfortable for anybody.
You want to know how I know?
Let's watch.
Let's read the rest of the interview.
By the way, power concedes nothing without a demand.
It never did and it never will.
AOC and Bernie and the rest of the progressives in Congress and Senate are demanding nothing, which is why you have nothing.
Which is why you don't have health care, which is why you don't have a jobs guarantee, which is why you don't have a Green New Deal, which is why you don't have a UBI in the middle of them shutting down your economy and turning it into a Great Depression.
That's why.
Because they don't demand anything.
It's all lip service.
When AOC says she has to make this process uncomfortable for everyone, she means no one.
She's lying to you.
How do I know she's lying?
Can you give me some examples of areas that you want to see him get uncomfortable?
She says they floated this olive branch to the progressive left of lowering the Medicare age to 60.
It's almost insulting, but I'm going to support it anyway.
Right, AOC?
It's insulting, but I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm really a party climber.
The party is the most important thing, and then me second, and my constituents a distant third.
That's what she's saying.
I think Hillary was looking at policies that lowered it to 50.
So we're talking about a progressive concession that is 10 years worse than what the nominee had in 2016.
And yet, she's still going to back it.
She's not telling anybody.
She's not making Joe Biden nervous for one second that he needs her support.
Question, but Biden has gotten to this point by rejecting those things.
AOC says, I think the ideological argument is a false one.
And I think that's backed up by exit polling.
While Biden is the nominee, we also know that he didn't win because of policy.
I don't think he won because of his agenda.
In state after state after state, Democratic voters support a progressive agenda, which is why you should hold out your vote in support of Joe Biden and say, I'm standing with the people.
But that's not what AOC is doing.
She's saying, fuck the people.
I'm going to do what the party tells me to because it's easy and I'm a corporate climber and I'm theater.
He won for a lot of different reasons, but I don't think he won because Americans don't want Medicare for all.
This is AOC speaking.
And in this moment, I wouldn't be surprised if what we're seeing with coronavirus didn't further change people's views and further supportive progressive agenda.
It doesn't matter.
First of all, she's pretending like, oh, but if we get enough people behind it, you have 90% of your own party is for it.
And you don't ever go, wow, maybe this is broken.
Maybe I should not support this, just as a human being.
Any number of communities, whether it's the Bronx, Latinos, or whether it's people of color, whether it's women, whether it's young people, whether it's people, it's student debt, whether it's working class people or people with no health care.
All those people, you're going to say, go fuck yourself because I got to support Joe Biden.
All those different people, whether it's in the Bronx, whether it's Latinos, whether it's people of color, women, young people, students with debt, working class people, or people with no health care.
You're telling them, oh, fuck off.
Go pound sand.
Joe Biden ain't going to give it to you and we're not going to help him.
And you know, I'm not trying to be divisive, she says.
But when you talk about lessons from 2016, one of the most divisive things that we can do is just smother and silence legitimate points of critique.
Especially from people whose lives are most at risk in this administration.
You're selling out the people whose lives are most at risk, left and fucking right, without a fight at all, AOC.
It's plain to see.
Because for some people, this argument of returning to normalcy sounds like an argument of respectability, politics, and civility.
And for other people, it sounds like, well, will my child be put in a cage?
Question, what if Biden doesn't do it?
Here we go.
What if Biden doesn't do it?
What if he doesn't get uncomfortable?
And, you know, only gives kind of aesthetic, in-name-only concessions to the left.
He's not even giving that.
He's not even giving that.
What would you do?
What would she do?
Like a true automaton, she says, I will be supporting the Democratic nominee in November.
I just hope the nominee supports our communities too.
I will be supporting the nominee in November.
I will be supporting the party nominee in November.
I will be supporting the party nominee, the party, the party, the party.
I have my allegiances to the party and my allegiance is to me second and my allegiance is to the people third.
The allegiance is always to the party.
The party, I will be voting for the party.
I will be voting for the party.
So if Joe Biden does fucking nothing, what are you going to do, AOC, to get him to move?
I will do nothing to pressure Joe Biden.
Absolutely nothing.
And guess what she's doing to pressure Joe Biden?
Absolutely nothing.
Guess what she's doing to pressure Nancy Pelosi?
Absolutely nothing.
Guess who you have advocating for you in Congress?
Absolutely no one.
Question, has the Biden campaign reached out to you even?
No.
Why would they?
You already pledged your support to him.
You fucking go-along, spineless, nutless wonder who is a party dupe on purpose.
Why would Joe Biden ever reach out to you?
You already pledged your vote to him and you know how politics works.
So now he doesn't have to reach out to you.
And you know that too.
But you're such a lemming.
You're such a sheepherder of progressives into a fucking anti-progressive party that you don't mind that you're transparent in your fucking bullshit.
Because that's what this is, AOC.
Complete bullshit.
This is you selling us out in favor of your place in the party.
That's what this is.
Power concedes nothing without a demand.
It never did and never will.
You know why Joe Biden hasn't called you AOC?
Because you already pledged your support to him, the party, to corruption.
Why?
Because you're corrupt also.
Because you'll go along with Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden while selling out your constituents.
For what?
I don't know.
I guess it's because you really want that committee assignment.
And again, you can watch any other YouTube show and they won't say this.
They'll tell you all the stuff that she's trying to push back.
She's not.
The way you push back is you tell Joe Biden, I'm telling my people not to vote for you until you take care of them.
We're not taking a step backwards.
That's what you say.
We're not going backwards from 2016.
That's what you say.
But that's not what she's saying.
What is she saying?
She's saying, I will be supporting the Democratic nominee in November.
I will be supporting the Democratic nominee in November.
Say it with me.
I will be supporting the Democratic nominee in November.
I will be supporting.
What if they fuck you?
I will be supporting the Democratic nominee.
What if he's worse than Trump?
I will be supporting the Democratic nominee.
What if he plans to make marijuana illegal twice?
I will be supporting the marijuana.
What if Joe Biden literally sticks his finger in your fucking eye?
Not figuratively, but literally, I will be supporting the party nominee in November.
You know what I like is I'm going to try to do more positive news stories, right?
Because it's such a shit world where even your progressive politicians are stabbing you in the front, stabbing you in the front.
When Bernie Sanders votes for the CARES Act, the largest transfer of upward transfer of wealth in the history of humankind, Bernie Sanders is stabbing you in the front.
When he tells you to vote for Joe Biden and you're irresponsible, he's stabbing you in the front.
When he doesn't use his movement to get you even health care in a pandemic, Bernie Sanders is stabbing you in the front.
So here's some good news.
Oh, good.
We've got some good news.
This is some good news that comes to us from a reporter called Chloe Thibault.
And she's an Emerson College graduate.
Boy, Emerson College, pretty prestigious.
Emerson College.
Wow.
Woo.
Here's her big feel-good story.
You ready?
Feel-good story?
We all need a pick-me-up story these days.
So this morning I'm introducing you to born and raised Maynard Jackie Hart.
She's 84 years old and just got hired as a housekeeper at a motel on Southwest Harbor in Southwest Harbor.
That story coming up today at 5:30 and 6:30 on New Center, Maine.
Hashtag wake me up.
Retirement is just a fantasy.
Doesn't that make you feel good?
Isn't that a pick-me-up?
Work until you die.
Doesn't that feel great?
Isn't that a pick-me-up?
Hey, here's a pick-me-up if you're into the capitalist death cult.
This 104-year-old just started training at an Amazon warehouse.
Don't worry, Granny.
We will tell you if anyone gets COVID.
Don't you feel great?
She's 84 years old.
She's 84 years old.
This is their pick-me-up.
This 85-year-old responded to a Craigslist ad for a pooper scooper because his savings was drained on medical bills.
How uplifting.
This 90-year-old died in the middle of his shift at Ralph's.
What a blessing to go out doing what you love.
That's another pick-me-up story.
As long as we know that when we die, profit margins are high.
What else can we ask for?
That's a real story from Chloe Thiebau.
I was really hoping for a pick-me-up, Jimmy.
That's a real story.
Here's just a little clip.
I'm lucky to have a job.
I do what they want done and do how they want it done and do what I'm told.
Anything else you want to know?
Real pick-me-up.
Well, I feel better.
I feel better.
Here's some of the responses to Chloe's tweet about this pick-me-up story.
That's really sad.
She's 84 for F's sake.
She should be spending her days relaxing and doing a hobby she loves.
The next one, 84-year-old cleans toilets to survive during the pandemic in the world's richest country.
It's not a pick-me-up story, you absolute ghoul, says Natalie.
I'm assuming your company is owned by Sinclair because this is revolting.
Here's if you were born in 1958, your current earnings, $31,000, here's what your benefits would be.
If you retired at 62 in 20, you'd get $800 a month.
If you waited till you were 66, you'd get $1,100 a month.
If you waited till you were 70, you'd get $1,500 a month.
I say take the $800 as soon as you can.
Take the money as soon as you can because you can die tomorrow.
Just take the money, take it, take it.
Senior citizens are replacing teenagers as fast food workers.
Wow.
Cradle of the grave minimum wage.
Senior citizens are replacing teenagers as fast food workers.
Amid a tight U.S. labor market, restaurant chains are recruiting at churches and senior citizen centers and AARP.
This is a effing failure of a country.
And here's Joe Biden.
You want to hear what Joe Biden?
Here's Joe Biden.
When I argued that we should freeze federal spending, I meant Social Security as well.
I meant Medicare and Medicaid.
I meant veterans men.
I meant every single solitary thing in the government.
And I not only tried it once, I tried it twice, I tried it a third time, and I tried it a fourth time.
I'm one of those Democrats who voted for the Constitutional Amendment to balance the budget.
I've introduced on four occasions.
Four occasions, entire plans to balance the budget, knowing I'm not president and I'm not the leader.
But for illustrative purposes, I tried with Senator Grassley back in the 80s to freeze all government spending, including Social Security, including everything.
Senator, we have a deficit.
We have Social Security and Medicare looming.
The number of people on Social Security Medicare is now 40 million.
People, it's going to be 80 million in 15 years.
Would you consider looking at those programs?
Age of eligibility, cost of living, put it all on the table?
The answer is absolutely, you have to.
I mean, one of the things that my, you know, the political advisors say to me is, whoa, don't touch that third.
Look, the American people aren't stupid.
It's a real simple proposition.
We have to do.
You and I were talking about Bob Dole earlier.
I was one of five people.
I was the junior guy in the meeting with Bob Dole, George Mitchell, when we put Social Security in the right path for 60 years.
I'll never forget what Bob Dole said.
After we reached an agreement about gradually raising the retirement age, et cetera, he said, look, here's the deal.
We all put our foot in the boat one at a time.
And he kids, he stepped like he was stepping into a boat.
And we all make the following deal.
If any one of the challengers running against incumbent Democrat or Republicans attacks us on this point, we'll all stay together.
That's the kind of leadership that is needed.
Social Security is not the hard one to solve.
Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room.
And you've got to put all of it on the table.
Everything.
Everything.
You've got to.
We can't keep giving health care to people in the richest country in the world.
Social Security, we can cut that.
No problem.
Medicare, we're going to have to really hurt people.
Why?
Because my donors want it.
There's your pick-me-up story.
There's your guy Bernie's working for instead of fighting against.
We're going to have a task force.
You mean you're not going to fight him?
You're not going to tell him that if you don't give people health care, you're going to tell your people not to vote for him and vote for a third-party candidate because you are a third-party candidate?
No.
He's going to tell you to vote for the problem.
So the only hope is to get in the streets.
Go to peoplesparty.org.
They're going to Congress people's houses every Saturday.
They're going, this Saturday, July 25th, do it.
Do it.
Wow.
It's a real pick-me-up.
She went to Emerson College.
She went to Emerson College.
She went to, here it is.
She went to Emerson College.
There it is.
This is your pick-me-up story.
That's fair.
Hashtag wake me up.
Wow, does someone need to be woken up, huh?
I mean, I'm just looking at that, Jimmy, and I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, if that's my mom.
Right?
Like, if I'm in this place, if that's my mom.
In four years, she just, she got a job cleaning toilet or being a mate.
That I can't take care of my mom?
Like, and that my country can't take care of my mom?
Like, it's just, it's off the chart.
Cut off the chart.
Of course, we can.
We're just, we're just being ruled by rapacious oligarchs, Steph.
We're being ruled by people who are evil.
And that's just a fact.
Your democracy has already been taken from you.
This idea that you're going to vote your way out of this is not real.
Thank you.
And it's just sad that there isn't a leader in this country worth a shit.
There isn't a leader in this country that has the balls it takes to get anything done.
I've got more balls.
I tell the truth about Russia Gate, and the other people who know the truth are afraid to tell it.
The politicians who know the truth are afraid to tell it.
They're gutless, ballless, fucking self-serving climbers inside the party.
I don't care if they don't take corporate money.
They don't oppose Nancy Pelosi.
They're all gutless cowards, and especially your favorite ones.
To my lefty YouTubers, your favorite progressives are fucking stabbing you in the front, left and right, you suckers.
You were wrong about RussiaGate.
You were wrong about Syria.
You're wrong about Libya, Venezuela, gas attacks, and you're wrong about fucking CARES Act and this and what's happening right now.
And go ahead, go ahead and make videos about how we're wrong, and then you'll never make the video about how y'all goddamn right Jimmy was right.
They never do the correct video.
They never correct it.
They never go back because they don't have integrity.
But that's okay.
That's okay.
Boy, if there was a group of lefty YouTubers that actually, I don't know, were lefties, that would be very comforting to me.
But since there isn't, it's very uncomforting.
It sucks the fun out of this.
So like when I could travel and do live shows, I could meet real fucking people who appreciated what we did.
Veterans, lots of veterans who appreciate what we do.
And it fuels me.
But this, I can't, I can't keep talking into this camera because when I'm talking to this camera on YouTube, I think about all the other YouTube shows that are letting you down.
And there's nothing I can say.
They won't even pressure.
What you're supposed to be doing is pressuring who?
Your favorite politicians.
Not the ones you hate or the ones who disagree with you.
The ones that agree with you.
That's the ones, the ones you like.
Those are the ones you're supposed to pressure the most because those are the ones you have influence on.
You're not supposed to lie for them over the CARES Act, which almost everybody did.
You're supposed to pressure them.
You already missed your moment to pressure them over the CARES Act.
You're going to keep doing it?
You're going to keep telling people you got to vote for Joe Biden, that somehow that's a better path forward?
That takes us another step closer to Brazil.
You're going to start demanding people like Bernie and the squad and Sharon Sherad, who just voted against defunding the Pentagon, who's a complete fraud.
When are you going to start pressuring those people?
Because that's what you're supposed to do.
You're supposed to pressure those people.
Thank you.
You really don't understand how politics works?
People who their whole, my whole life was stand-up comedy.
And if a journalist came into a comedy club and showed me how to tell a joke, I would fucking quit comedy.
But I'm a comedian and I easily, effortlessly are showing fucking people whose whole life is journalism how to do better journalism.
And they still won't.
They're still going to push a CIA talking point without being skeptical.
They're still going to push the two-party narrative as if it's real.
They're still going to defend their favorite politicians instead of pressuring them because they're stabbing you in the front constantly.
It's depressing.
Back in 2015, I felt like there was a group of us and we all got it.
And then Trump happened and they all went to shit.
Just like that.
They all became the worst version of themselves.
Reactionaries, conspiracy theorists without evidence, red baiters, McCarthy smearers, smearers of people doing good journalism.
Coddling the people who are betraying them in Congress.
They became the worst version of themselves.
And they failed.
They don't seem to have a shame button.
Could you imagine Rushigating at the top of your lungs for fucking three years?
The Mueller report comes out.
And you still Rushigate at the top of your lungs because you don't have a shame button.
And then after it's revealed that even CrowdStrike says, yeah, we're fucking lying.
We have no evidence that Russia hacked the DNC server.
Even after that, still doing that?
No shame button?
Not one video apologizing for all the horribleness you fucking inflicted on this country?
Not one video.
Not one.
They just keep going, making fun of other people.
Making fun of other people instead of themselves.
And that's why it's so easy for me to have a successful show.
I didn't dedicate myself to journalism, but it's easy to do a much fucking better job than they do.
People whose every breath is journalism.
That's all they wanted to do.
They went to college for journalism.
And they're fucking children.
They're naive, CIA-repeating dupes of the fucking establishment.
And they don't even know it.
Thank you.
And they don't have a shame button.
And they're always for war.
And they're always for war.
And who are they skeptical of?
Who do they put their most skeptical lens on?
People who are against war.
Isn't that weird?
While they're getting every fucking story wrong?
While they're misreporting Syria, while they're re-repeating fucking CIA talking points and smearing people who are sticking their chin outs to tell the truth.
And they call themselves journalists and they call themselves lefties.
They're nothing more than fucking useless tools.
And I guess I should say thanks because it helps my show grow.
But I couldn't give a fuck about that.
The game's over.
My show has grown.
It's done.
I don't care.
So if you guys are being shitty so that I could have most of your viewers, you can stop now.
You could go back to actually trying to do journalism and being real fucking lefties and having fucking try growing a pair, you nutless wonders.
Well, I didn't really believe in Russia Gate.
Did you do any videos about it?
No.
I didn't really, I never bought into the Russiagate.
Did you do any videos debunking it?
No, I didn't do it.
I just hate neutral.
Why?
Because you're a fucking nutless wonder.
And that's why the right laughs at the left.
Because you're a bunch of fucking cowards.
And you defend cowardice.
Okay.
Do you see why I don't like doing this fucking show anymore?
It's all this shit.
There's no good.
There's no good pick-me-up stories.
There's no positives.
I got Nick Brona coming out saying the most progressive member of Congress said she's done fighting.
In the middle of the fucking pandemic and a depression, she's done.
She's going along with the establishment.
That's it.
Bernie Sanders is now full steam ahead with the establishment.
He is Joe Biden's campaign manager at this point.
You know how many parties they have in Canada?
I don't know, about 50.
Do you know why Canada has a UBI is getting, you know why anybody telling you to vote two party to keep to remain inside this two-party system without revolting at the top of your lungs is either a coward or a dupe or part of the establishment or
wants to be part of the establishment.
Most of the people surrounding Bernie Sanders are fucking career climbers.
Most of the people who are who were for Bernie Sanders in 2016 are nothing but fucking career climbers, which has been laid bare to me this time around.
Okay.
Okay, good luck, YouTube.
I wish you all the best.
I wish you best of luck, YouTube.
I hope you get your head out of your asses.
And you actually decide to pressure your favorite politicians instead of kiss their ass and protect them when they're stabbing us in the front.
Oh, so Vice President Joe Biden's on the line.
Hey, hi, Joe.
Hey, good news, fat.
The polls are running.
And man, oh man, are they okay?
What polls, Joe?
No, I ain't going there with you, pal.
Just straighten up and fly right.
Come on, what day?
New polls.
Which ones?
Try to tell you.
I may have more god numbers ahead of that guy.
What's his name?
Trump.
Bigger numbers.
What do you think that means for your campaign?
I'll tell you what it means, you cloud up and woodchuck.
It means fuck Medicare for all.
There's another poll says healthcare is like number five on voters' lists of concerns.
Well, what was number one, Joe?
The coronavirus, you wigwamp.
But that doesn't make sense.
They're both healthcare issues.
Okay, I know, right?
Look, I'm going to win this thing.
Not only am I the man for this job, but I'm also the job for this man.
And that's the brass tax, Mac.
Who doesn't like toast?
All I got to do is watch Trump kill a bunch of more people, pop my head up every once in a while, like in a whack-a-mole game.
And when the time's right, unleash my October surprise.
What is your October surprise?
A stack of Trump's fat and gay for Putin memes like you ain't never seen before.
It'll blow your ever-loving mind.
Bam!
Has that kind of stuff ever worked?
Oh, come on, it worked for Putin.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landowitz, Steph Zamarano, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
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