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Sept. 19, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:52
20190919_TJDS_20190919_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Wow, getting a call from Saudi Arabia.
This has got to be important.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hello, Jimmy.
This is Secretary of State, Mike Buffalo.
Oh, hi there, Mr. Secretary.
How's your state visit to Saudi Arabia going?
Very well.
We are having some extremely productive meetings, especially and most importantly, with the Saudi crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman.
Oh, yes, the despot who ordered the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi.
Right, exactly.
He, well, wait, no, shit.
Look, that situation, as President Trump has stated in the past, we are looking into that.
We are waiting for all the facts to come in.
This happened almost a year ago.
We're waiting for all the facts to come in.
And once they are in, we will make an assessment of the situation and a decision.
But in the beat time, we have to operate and coordinate with the Saudi royal family, who remain steadfast allies of the United States, especially with regard to Iranian aggression in the region.
Oh, thank you for lying to me.
My pleasure.
Hey, look, speaking of Iran, the reason for your visit that a Saudi, it was a Saudi oil field was bombed, correct?
Jimmy, as a good writer yourself, I'm sure you're aware of the advice to avoid the passive voice.
Therefore, we don't say the Saudi oil field was bombed.
We say Iran bombed a Saudi oil field because that is what happens.
And how do we know this is what happened?
I mean, come on.
Come on.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
Dude, it's so random.
*laughter*
Oh, that's some bulletproof logic you got there, Mr. Secretary.
Very interesting.
Especially since the Houthis, the Yemeni faction that the Saudis are trying to bomb and starve out of existence, claim that they, in fact, sent the drones that blew up the Saudi oil field.
They have taken credit.
Well, we know they're lying.
And how do we know that?
The Houthis are well-known liars.
As I said to CNN the other day, they've lied about many things on many occasions.
And how did we know they were lies?
because of their reputations as liars.
laughter laughter laughter So everything Houthis say at all about anything are lies.
Some of their statements I would categorize more as fibs.
Fibs might be more accurate.
But generally speaking, yes, they are a coalition of liars and fibers, yes.
I see, fibbers.
And besides, we are aware of the fact that the Houthi coalition does not have access to the type of drone weaponry that caused the destruction of that Saudi oil field.
And we know this because of satellite imagery and other intelligence gathering by various agencies.
So this drone or drones came from Iran?
Yes, unequivocally, yes.
I suppose you have some evidence of this.
What do you mean?
You know, drones or missiles flying from Iran to Saudi Arabia would have had to cross over the Persian Gulf, probably the most militarily surveilled body of water on earth.
Were those detected by either U.S. or Saudi radar or perhaps these all-knowing satellites you just mentioned?
Well.
Iran poses an existential threat to the state of Israel, our ally.
Secretary Pompeo, the guy from the band Blink182 just released Navy footage of a UFO.
But you're telling me the United States government doesn't have footage or other evidence of these drones?
Okay.
Look, I'm sure at some point this footage will be found and analyzed.
Will you show the public when it's found?
But in the meantime, we can all be assured that Iran is the culprit here.
Why?
Because Iran does all the bad things.
That's why.
Quite frankly, I wish you'd stop asking questions.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah!
Ha ha ha ha.
*coughs*
Yeah, I bet you do, because the last thing you need is for people to realize that Houthis bomb Saudi Arabia, meaning this is just another action in the pre-existing proxy war between the United States and the Saudis on one side and Iran on the other.
You do not want that scrutinized or defunded.
So you have to make Iran the boogeyman who launched a new attack.
Am I right?
Am I close?
Hey, did you see that Blink 182 UFO footage?
I mean, who knows what that was, dude?
Wild.
Crazy.
Okay, Secretary Pompeo.
Thanks for obfuscating with us today.
Please keep us posted with what's not going to be going on over there.
Sure.
Thank you, we'll do our best.
Hey, hey, new concept here.
I radiate UFOs.
I radiate UFOs.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to T. And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
Hey, we'll see you every Sunday in October at the Sycamore Tavern in Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard.
We're doing a live Jimmy Dore show every Sunday in October at the Sycamore Tavern in Hollywood.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all tickets.
First Sunday show already sold out.
No kidding.
All right.
So just a reminder, folks, it's not too late to send John McCain back to prison.
Hey, did you hear Ed Buck?
Did I say let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes?
I forgot to say that, but now I said it.
Hey, Ed Buck, a prominent Democratic donor, was arrested Tuesday and charged with operating a drug house.
You hear about that?
true story.
Cops said they confiscated two kilos of incrementalism, which is...
Now, remember, the most important thing about this year's Emmys isn't just the awards.
It's also about the trophy company that makes those awards.
That's a joke I don't get.
Maybe it's a paladrum.
If I had a time machine, if I had a time machine, you know what I would do?
First thing I do is I go back in time and write an instruction manual so I could use the damn thing.
How about that?
Hey, by the way, here, I didn't give you these last week.
Let's give it to you.
Here's some of my official Jimmy Door show takeaways from the last Democratic debate.
Not one question was asked about that kid who went blind after he only ate Pringle's French fries and whitebread for 10 years.
Not one question.
Not one.
I know.
Color commentator Ram Emanuel really looks sharp in his investment banker uniform, I thought.
I thought that was nice.
Hey, say what you want about Joe Biden, but he still isn't too senile to lie about Medicare for all.
And Elizabeth Warren's catchphrase, I have a detailed plan, roughly translates to: I cribbed Bernie's notes and took out all the parts Wall Street didn't like.
Hey, also, my takeaway was Kamala Harris has a very creepy Halloween laugh.
And Bernie Sanders has a loud, scratchy voice, so that's why you can never have health care.
And finally, if you can't be civil when corporations and rich people steal your money and kill you, then what's the point?
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Maybe the most racist thing ever said in a Democratic debate comes from the front runner.
Plus, GM workers go on their biggest nationwide strike in 12 years.
And guess what?
GM is yanking their health care while they do it.
Plus, Japan has announced that they're going to be putting nuclear water from the Fukushima disaster.
They're going to be storing it.
They've run out of storage, so they're going to be storing it, you guessed it, right in the ocean.
I was so worried they wouldn't find a place for it.
Plus, Elizabeth Warren ties to Wall Street.
Should we be concerned?
And phone calls today from Chris Christie, Sean Spicer, Jeb Bush, and Mike Pompeo calls in to talk about the Iran war coming up.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
*Bell rings* Hello.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, yeah, little fella.
Well, going so fast.
Is this Chris Christie?
Oh, whoops.
I must have butt-dialed you there.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, you waiter.
Get your ass back here and take these nachos, Grande Imperial Deluxe, back to the chef.
Excuse me?
What's your problem?
What does it look like?
Are you talking to me, Chris?
Shut your saucebox.
I'll deal with you in a second.
So, what's the problem?
I'll tell you what the problem is.
They're not concealed enough into an undigestible cord and cheese brick.
Understand me?
Don't make me come back and bronchitis all over your arugula fucking losers with their white hats.
Hey, Sonny, you can eat that roll?
Well, then hand it over.
Don't look at your daddy like that.
I'll bury you.
Hello?
Who is this?
Can't you see I'm busy unwinding after a strenuous appearance on this week with George Stephalakidis?
What was so strenuous about it, Chris?
Well, breeding, for one thing.
I have big hair requirements.
I'm a hard breeder.
Meaning, I need more hair than regular people who don't frequent strenuous mental and physical exercise regiments like me.
Okay, well, what did you talk about on this week that was so arduous?
I never said he was I Jewish.
I said strenuous.
Big difference.
One has odds in front of it, the other has strength.
Turn your words there, Eisenstein.
And what'd you talk about on this show, Chris?
The last debate, Bernie Sanders was shouting.
He sounded like something was wrong with his voice.
May him sound funny, but getting infected ovumula.
You mean uvula?
You mean I?
So what about Bernie?
Oh, he was horrible.
He was unglued.
You got to use good glue, by the way.
At our house, we only bring the best glue for Thanksgiving, Elmers, made from cow milk.
Her name's Elsie.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, it explains why it tastes so good on wood chips.
Look, what's wrong with a politician getting passionate about important things?
What am I reading here?
Hey, look, what's wrong with a politician getting passionate about important things?
Because his eyes were bulging out of his head.
Looked like a glazed bovine on a silver platter, surrounded by baked apples and cameraized onions.
Oh, shit.
You hear that?
No, hear what?
Ah, there goes another staple.
I told the surgeon to use swing line staples this time.
You know, the guy with the chisel points for easier penetrations and whatnot.
What's your point, Chris?
Did I have a platform on a major network news show that's in the bag for Joe Biden in which I crap all over Bernie Sanders and they let me get away with it?
And I got paid for it.
Well, you've been lecturing a lot of people lately on civility and public discourse.
That's right, dickhead.
about it.
I just think it's interesting.
That's all.
Why?
Because you're notorious for being a jerk to people.
Hey, Bernie's eyes were bulging out of his head.
He looked like some Bibsqueak was trying to steal his nachos.
Or some reporter was asking a question about New Jersey corruption at a news conference.
Or some hot shot was razzing him at a baseball game.
Ah, Marta Mary, I'm dripping with irony.
So the GM workers went on strike.
First time they've gone on strike in how many years do we know?
I'll find out in a second to let you know.
But so here's a little, this is, this kind of summarizes it pretty well.
Let's watch this.
Why are GM workers going on strike?
Why are they going on strike?
Well, at the stroke of midnight Monday morning, how many, what does that say?
49,000 United Auto Workers went on strike at 33 general motors plants across the country.
This is kind of amazing, including 13 plants in Michigan.
And it's a reasonable fight.
We'll fight for what's fair.
The rebirth of solidarity, not only here in Flint, but across America.
It's the union's first strike against GM in more than a decade.
12 years.
Workers are disputing the new four-year contract proposal by GM.
What's some of their disputes?
Healthcare.
It wears it out.
Healthcare temporary workers, what do they want to do with temporary workers?
Temporary workers hired.
These people are hard workers and need to be treated fairly.
But to see them get the full wage and benefits.
So temporary workers don't get paid what a union worker gets and what a full-time workers.
So they're saying you're exploiting these people by calling them temporary.
Let's get rid of that.
I'm all for it.
They are making money and they just need to start sharing it with the workers.
Now we went without a raise.
So we're talking about pay raises.
This is another thing.
This is a third thing.
So healthcare, temporary workers' pay raises.
So General Motors made $6 billion in profits off of $150 billion in revenue.
They made $6 billion in profit.
$6 billion.
That's $600 million.
Right?
$6 billion.
10 times 600 million.
I'm not a math surgeon, but I think that's right.
And keep in mind, when everything was going down in 08 and there were the bailouts and all the loans and stuff like that, these workers sacrificed.
They went without a pay raise.
They went without a pay raise for the good of the company and in good faith.
And now they're getting screwed over.
And now they're closing plants and using temporary workers, screwing with their health care.
Well, watch this.
Watch this, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's listen to what he says.
Shared it with VR workers.
Now, we went without a raise for almost 11 years with the bankruptcy.
So they went without a raise for 11 years.
Yeah, since in 08, they sacrificed all that, you know, because the company's company's in trouble.
There's bailouts.
There's this or that.
So the workers said, we'll go without for the good of the company.
For 11 years, they went without a raise.
And by the way, this hasn't mentioned it yet, but they had been in contract negotiations for over 18 months.
Come on.
Over 18 months.
Okay, here we go.
And so the people that are hired said newer employees make less and have fewer benefits under GM's two-tiered scales.
It's the same work and everybody should be getting the same pay and there should be no inequality here.
So what they do is like, hey, when they go to negotiate a wage with the union, you're like, hey, well, our newer hires, we can pay them less than the people who have legacy here.
And so they want to get rid of that, which is smart because everybody doesn't say work.
Why should they get paid less?
Okay.
And plant closures.
GM has plans to close four plants in the United States, including plants in Warren.
Hang on, I got to back that up.
Hamtrack?
Warren and Hamtrek.
GM says it has offered more than $7 billion in U.S. investments, along with more than 5,400 jobs, higher pay, and improved benefits.
That's what GM says.
It says it has solutions for some of the other plants lated to close.
Solutions.
Yeah, UAW contracts at Ford and Chrysler have been extended, and the strike outcome could influence upcoming negotiations.
Of course, it will.
Shutting down North American production at GM costs them $400 million a day.
So that's power.
So now they have power.
And the UAW, those striking workers, they get what they call strike pay from their union.
They get $250 a week, which is nothing, right?
Probably less than a day's pay.
You know, I just, from my personal experience working as a union teacher and representative, and when we had to be faced with the idea that we were going to strike, and it's a real emotional decision to have to make because you look at what you're not going to earn and the wages you're going to lose.
And because you feel like you're gambling, that you're going to do better if you can just hold out.
And I can't imagine what these families are going through.
Like you just shared that this has been going on since 2008.
They decided not to increase their wages so as to the sacrifice of what they're doing to invest in their company and show their loyalty.
And they have GM has no problem turning their back on their workers.
The people who generate.
And this is terrifying.
You know, when you see $250 a week.
And so they get a bailout from the government when they run their company into the ground.
And as Chomsky points out, you know, we didn't have to.
Why would we bail out that company and give it right back to the people who drove it into the ground?
Like, that doesn't make sense.
That you could have restructured it and you could have had it be worker-owned.
You could have had it make things that people actually needed, he says, you know, like high-speed rails, stuff like that.
You could have done a lot of things with that.
You didn't have to just give it back to the capitalist or money.
Just give it to them.
Try again.
Yeah, go again.
I'm sure you've learned.
And what do they do?
Of course, there's doing it all.
I guarantee you that CEO hasn't missed a bonus, but they haven't gotten a raise.
The CEO makes $20 million a year at GM, and the workers haven't had a raise in 11 years.
Gentlemen, there is no such thing as wealth inequality.
And so guess now what GM is doing to screw the workers even harder.
They're taking away their health care while they're on strike.
That's what they're doing.
They're taking away their health care while they're on strike, which I got to tell you, if there's anything that makes Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders' idea of Medicare for all look way more palatable, it's what they're doing to the workers at the strike.
So now your health care hinges on the good nature at the whim of your capitalist employer.
At his whim, you get to have your health care.
Isn't that something?
Because if you exercise your right as a worker to organize and strike, they'll take your health care away, which is why we don't see general strikes in America in the United States because we don't have health care.
Yeah, and now the union has to foot the health care costs.
Right.
So that $250 a week might go down further now.
Correct.
This is all by design.
So on Tuesday, GM stopped covering health insurance premiums for nearly 50,000 auto workers striking for fair wages and decent benefits.
The move shifts health care costs to the union, like you said, Ron, which will be forced to reach into its strike fund to pay the bills.
GM's decision to yank health care coverage away from their dedicated employees with no warning is heartless and unconscionable, said Mary Kay Henry, who's the president of the SEIU.
The auto workers nationwide strike, described as the largest in more than a decade, began just before midnight on Sunday after negotiations between UAW and GM broke down with union leaders and members accusing management of proposing insulting wage increases and paltry benefits.
Of course they are.
Again, nobody's ever going to power concedes nothing, right?
And what's interesting is I bet, like Steph was saying, that it's a hard decision to make to go on strike.
And I bet they got a lot Of the impetus and courage to go on strike from the striking teachers unions that have been successful.
And that's why they, I don't know if you noticed, when the teachers went on strike, they fixed those strikes.
They solved them right away.
They settled those strikes immediately.
And as we made the point on this show before, it's because strikes are catchy.
They start to catch on.
People see they have power when they organize and band together.
And this is a big deal.
This is the biggest strike in more than a decade, more than a nationwide strike, biggest one in more than a decade.
So I'm all for it.
Let's see what happens.
GM's move comes as the impasse between the union and management show few signs of ending.
We sacrificed for GM and now it's time for GM to share the wealth, said Stephen Frisk, who's a union steward.
They paid essentially no taxes last year.
GM.
And they act like they're broke.
They have made record profits for the last four or five years.
When their CEO, Mary Berra, is making over $20 million a year and they say they don't have enough money to pay their employees on the floor.
Then I have an issue with that.
And I think all of us do.
And this is from the Washington Post says, which reminds us of something very important about healthcare reform.
No matter what form it takes under the next Democratic president, we have to move away from the ridiculous system where the insurance you have and whether you have insurance at all is dependent on the benevolence of your boss.
And I couldn't agree with that more.
Why is your health care tied to where you work?
Would you have your car insurance tied to where you work or your house and homeowner's insurance tied to where you work?
But, Jimmy, the problem is a lot of Americans want the choice to either just have health care or have health care, depending on whether their boss wants to give it to them or not.
They want to have that choice.
And I want to say that.
Mayor Pete says, I trust American people to vote with their feet.
He trusts all the CEOs at the private dinner.
Yeah.
So there you go.
Another reason why we should have Medicare for all because it hinders when you don't have it, when people rely on their health care from their employer.
This is what hinders actual direct action.
People putting on the yellow vests and getting in the street because they got, I got a kid with diabetes.
I can't lose my health care.
If I don't go to work, I'll lose my, you get that.
I get it too.
That's why a lot of other countries do it way quicker.
Yeah.
A lot of other countries, because they're able to, they do it way quicker.
You know what?
Oh, go ahead.
Well, like places like France and Germany.
They strike quicker.
Quicker, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
They don't like, they go on strike because they know it's effective and they're able to do it because they do have health care.
They strike all the time.
You know, the train work, Italy, France, they're always striking.
Go ahead, Steph.
Well, I was just thinking about the whole idea of it's nice that Mary Barra is a female and still able to show her grit and exploit the workers.
So that's one thing.
She's got equal rights going for her there too, which is fun.
But did anybody scream at the top of their lungs, where are you going to find the money to bail out GM?
Where's that money going to come from?
Where are you going to find that money to bail out corporate give corporate welfare?
And they don't pay taxes for a year.
Hey, did you pay taxes last year?
I paid taxes last year.
I didn't pay taxes last year.
But GM doesn't get it.
So they get to continue to have bad financial practices.
They get to pretend that they're capitalists when they're just trying to screw the consumer and absolutely bend over their employees.
That is not the model that we should be loyal to.
And yes, I am so proud of these union workers.
And I'm never going to buy GM.
I know that already.
I'm never going to.
Well, I will when the union settles their contract.
I want to support union workers.
Right.
It would be great to support them.
But everybody who supported them since they were bailed out in 2008 and they haven't had a wage increase.
Right.
I know.
Imagine what it's like to work at an auto worker that doesn't have a union.
Because everywhere, I mean, if you go to Japan, their unions are on the board of the company, right?
Same thing in Germany.
You know, where they're all union workers.
But which company?
I think it's, I believe it's Nissan, where like every shop is unionized except for like one in the U.S. So there's 50.
So the last time I checked the statistic, it was 50, 50, they had 50 plants worldwide and only three of them were non-union.
And those were the three they had in the United States.
Yeah.
So there you go.
And they sell it to, you know, they sell it to Americans as right to work.
You get right to work.
Now you get right to work for lower wages.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're all for the strike.
And look, that's another reason why we should have Medicare for all.
Single payer not tied to your goddamn employer.
And let's remember that these people have children.
Yes.
And can you imagine if you have a child and you live anywhere in Flint, Michigan, and you tried your child has somehow been poisoned by the water, you know, that you think you should get clean water in your community.
If you have a kid and your child is sick and you're working in Flint, Michigan, and you are working for GM, you need health care for your children.
You need health care for your children.
Everybody needs health care for their children.
Yes.
No matter where you're living.
I agree.
I agree.
But how awful that they're being held hostage by this move.
Yes.
And how outrageous that more government officials aren't explaining to GM.
The government officials are in bed with GM.
They're not in bed with the workers.
Although people would say that the union, you know, the union's political action is always not the best either.
Sure.
You know, they'll support neoliberal bullshit.
You know.
Well, sometimes the members are consulted and the people at the top just make the decision.
That's right.
Well, that's how I felt.
Yes.
That's what happened with the teachers' union.
I wasn't ever consulted about who they were going to throw their support.
They decided to put their support behind Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders.
And that's not what the rank and file wanted.
And, you know, this also connects to superdelegates.
Superdelegates can do anything that they choose to do.
They have no loyalty to the constituency that there's.
And Bernie started that system.
Just remember that they appointed, they had, they all got together and they all agreed to this bullshit system of fucking superdelegates in the second round, which they should have never agreed to.
But they did.
Why?
Why would you fucking say yes to that?
You're supposed to say no, super delegates.
They went, okay, well, compromise.
Superdelegates in the second round.
And now all they have to do is have a second ballot and the superdelegates are going to choose.
And Bernie and all those people on the unity commission signed off on it, which I think is a huge tactical mistake at the very least.
You know, Jimmy, I just want to go back because you have this in front and it says, you know, that you have to be dependent on the benevolence of your boss.
And a lot of people don't understand why it's so important to have a union because when you need to have a collective bargaining unit and you need stuff like this, instead of going, please, may I have a raise?
Could I please have a raise?
Please, may I have a little bit?
My daughter's sick.
I need an operation, so please.
Well, I mean, we've had nonstop union busting since 1980.
Yeah, you know, Ronald Reagan was like the pack offer to that when he went against the airlines, and it's just been escalating since then.
So basically, like my entire lifetime, there has only been anti-union propaganda front and center, company to company.
And I've shared this before as I was a teacher, and I would go to the lunchroom with other teachers.
I remember sitting across from, I was surrounded by people who were in a wonderful school.
We were unionized.
I would say 98% of us were union at our school site, but there were a few people that weren't.
And I remember one of the non-union workers looked at me and said, I just don't see why we even need a union.
Oh, you mean healthcare?
And so, of course, you know what I said.
Hey, Kathy, why don't you go and test that free market theory out in the real world if you don't need your union?
Why don't you go to a charter school and see how that works out for you?
And I would say each time that I spoke to somebody who didn't support the union, they stayed at the school that had a union.
And you want to know why they stayed there?
Because of the benefits and the job security that the union had negotiated on their behalf.
None of them wanted to go test the free market.
None of them wanted to leave the school district because if you invest a certain amount of time in a school district, you move up on the pay scale.
They didn't want to test their free market.
It was easier to not support my union than it was to test their own personal theory and undermine my union.
So I had a great disdain for non-union workers who at a union school.
Get the fuck out.
There are plenty of places who want to exploit you.
Go.
All right.
So solidarity with the strikers.
This is going to be real interesting.
I think we're going to see, I hopefully, we're going to see more and more stuff like this, hopefully, because this is exactly what needs to happen.
Workers need to take back control or some control.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
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Hello.
Vote for me on Dancing with the Stars tonight.
Oh, I'm Sean Spicer.
Vote for Sean Spicer.
Why should you vote for me, you ask?
Yeah, why?
Because I'm bubbly, I'm sincere, and a good sport.
How's that different from any other terrible dancer on that show?
Because I'm like the only true Christian on the show.
Mike Huckabee agrees with me, and well, I agree with him.
What does Mike Huckabee know about dancing?
He's a pastor, and he knows what he's talking about.
And have you seen him dance?
Big, hairy man, but he's light on his feet, just like original recipe Jesus.
And why should people vote for you against the other contestants?
Simply put, the rest are a bunch of satanic devil worshipers.
They dance with their private parts out.
Do you want your children to see that?
I don't want your children to see that.
I want your children to watch a wheezing liar with the agility of the popping fresh toeboy humiliate himself in front of millions of people.
Vote for me, or God will kill your firstborn.
You tweeted, quote, clearly the judges aren't going to be with me.
Why'd you tweet that?
Because I'm sending a message to Holly Weird that those of us who stand that those of us who stand for Christ won't be discounted.
And may God bless you, Jimmy.
And that's God with a capital G, which rhymes with P, and that stands for pool.
Huh?
I'm still rehearsing my Music Man routine.
I guess I let the cat out of the bag with that one, right?
The kids love the Music Man.
Go to sweep it.
Sweep the damn show.
What makes you such a good Christian, Sean?
I'm like the Bernie Bush in the Bible.
I stood behind one at the White House once.
Yeah.
No, you hid behind one.
That too.
Just like Jesus did.
He hid behind the burning bush because reporters kept outing him.
The burning bushes in the Old Testament.
Jesus wasn't even around then.
You don't know your Holy Trinity like I do.
Jesus spoke through the bush.
It was the very first ventriloquism act.
You know that's true because the Bush insults the audience and Jesus says, that's the way to speak to these fine people, Bernie Bush.
And Jesus turns to the world.
Ah!
Ha ha ha ha!
laughter laughter Thank you.
And then, Jesus.
And then Jesus turns water into wine and drinks it while the Bernie Bush sings, Mama loves shortening bread.
And then Jesus says, follow that motherfucker and drops the mic.
Then Moses walks on stage and eats it big.
True story on my father's grave.
How do you hope the public reacts to you going on Disney with the stars?
I'm hoping the show will let Americans see a different side of me.
As White House spokesman, my image was one of an angry leprechaun standing behind a podium yelling at people.
Now, I'll be an angry leprechaun standing behind a dancer, yelling at people while I'm having a stroke.
Vote for Jesus tonight or go to hell.
It's in the Bible.
Swear in my father's grave.
Oh, Jesus, that was hard to get through.
Well, everybody's talking about this moment.
Let's talk about this moment real quick.
So here's Joe Biden.
And Joe Biden was asked a question about the legacy of slavery.
He's the frontrunner, everybody.
Now, hey, listen, swallow it.
Swallow it!
That's such a great campaign slogan.
Swallow it and vote for Joe.
Who are you doing?
Everybody!
So here's the short version of what he said.
We bring social workers into homes of parents to help them deal with how to raise their children.
It's not that they don't want to help.
They don't know quite what to do.
Play the radio.
Make sure the television.
Excuse me.
Make sure you have the record player on at night.
Make sure the kids here.
Make sure you put hot coals to warm up the bed.
Make sure the family gathers around the radio at night.
Okay.
Make sure you have the Victrola on.
LAUGHTER Oh, man!
So here's the long version of that.
That's the short version.
The long version is actually a little worse.
But can I say one thing really quickly?
You have to remember that this is at a university that was originally an all-black university.
So you would think somebody on Biden's staff may prepare him.
Hey, they might ask you some race-related issues tonight.
Now, this is how this man responds.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
And by the way, I hope everybody refilled the ink wells for their fountain pens.
All right, here we go.
So here's the long version of that.
Biden 2020 phonographs for America.
That's his new slogan.
Here we go.
Vice President, I want to come to you and talk to you about inequality in schools and race.
What was that?
I want to talk to you about inequality rate.
I'm white and rich.
Isn't that what it was like?
Stirring Vice President.
I want to come to you and talk to you about inequality in schools and race.
In a conversation about how to deal with segregation in schools back in 1975, you told a reporter, I don't feel responsible for the sins of my father and grandfather.
I feel responsible for what the situation is today, for the sins of my own generation.
And I'll be damned if I feel responsible to pay for what happened 300 years ago.
You said that some 40 years ago.
But as you stand here tonight, what responsibility do you think that Americans need to take to repair the legacy of slavery in our country?
Well, they have to deal with the, look, there is institutional segregation in this country.
And from the time I got involved, I started dealing with that.
Redlining banks, making sure that we are in a position where, look, we talk about education.
I propose that what we take is those very poor schools, the Title I schools, triple the amount of money we spend from $15 to $45 billion a year.
Give every single teacher a race to the equal race of getting out of the $60,000 level.
Number two, make sure that we bring in to help the teachers deal with the problems that come from home, the problems that come from home.
We have one school psychologist for every 1,500 kids in America today.
It's crazy.
The teachers are a kind.
I'm married to a teacher.
My deceased wife is a teacher.
They have every problem coming to them.
I know, it's horrible.
I know, it's horrible.
I can't make out what any of us are yelling, but thank you for yelling.
I appreciate it.
Because it makes me feel like you're involved, engaged in the show.
Here, he's going to, here you go.
Every single child does, in fact, have three, four, and five-year-olds go to school, school, not daycare, school.
We bring social workers into homes of parents to help them deal with how to raise their children.
It's not that they'll want to help.
They don't know quite what to do.
Play the radio.
Make sure the television, excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night.
Make sure the kids hear words.
Elizabeth Warren sitting there, record player?
Okay.
I can't wait for Joe's opening statement at the next debate when he complains about all the kids wasting their time on Atari.
So by the way, this is not getting the attention it deserves.
He was asked about the legacy of slavery and what is our responsibility to do to fix it, right?
You might not be responsible for slavery, obviously, but do we have a responsibility to fix what the legacy of slavery that people are still living with?
And his response was kind of ridiculous.
It was about how black people don't know how to parent their kids and teachers have to deal with the problems that come from the black homes.
It was kind of, well, it was kind of racist framing in a sense.
Well, this guy tells you what it is.
This guy, Yanan Girondes, he says, is this not one of the most explicitly racist moments of all time in a Democratic primary debate?
The record player moment may be what finally reveals Biden's bankruptcy, a staggering two minutes in our politics, America's gravest, most persistent injustice, recast as parental ignorance.
Also, how can your main takeaway about African American community be that there's too little listening to music going on?
LAUGHTER If those blacks would just turn on the music sometime, you know, you can tell, yeah, I love watching white people listen to music, by the way.
You ever see a group full of white people listen to music?
like...
It's funny to be.
He goes on.
He says, it's a whole new level of racism to say that the way to repair the legacy of slavery is for black people to stop refusing to give music to their kids.
This is easily the defining moment of today's debate, and it deserves more media scrutiny.
This is the frontrunner, currently the most likely nominee.
This is how he talks about African Americans.
Who are they?
Who are the beating heart of the party?
Let's be clear.
If you're for Biden in this contest, the casual, paternalistic, madman-era racism he flaunts, they can't parent.
This one here is clean and articulate and a nice looking guy.
It's a deal breaker for you.
Well, it should be, but it's not for a lot of people.
And here's what Nina Turner says.
She says it will go on and the mainstream media will pretend it did not happen because the reference was made about black people by a Democrat.
*crowd cheers*
Jimmy, I just love that strategically for Biden, you know, he gets the question.
He's like, ooh, segregation.
I'm not good on that.
I better pivot to something where I'm better, like how black people are shitty parents.
Right?
And then afterwards, like, oh, nailed it.
I got the record player reference in I wanted.
I wanted.
They say I don't prep, but I nailed it.
Well, you know what?
It's nice to know is that, you know, Donald Trump is just like this so like ferocious racist.
It's nice to know that Biden is kind of like this nice kind of racist, right?
He's avuncular in his racism.
Oh, watch your mouth.
I think that's the word.
My goodness.
I know.
Got me teethly.
I got.
Say it again.
Avuncular.
The password is avuncular.
Nice racist, avuncular.
So here is this guy.
He went on AM with Morning Joy or whatever it was called.
And this is what he said.
And this wasn't someone using a term wrong.
We just have to be really clear.
The whole trope for like all of American history, when you have asked questions about systemic racism, what has been done to black people for 400 years in this country, the basic trope of racism has always been what you are observing is actually their own fault.
And on Thursday night, Joe Biden, who wants to be the president of the United States and run against a white nationalist, reprised that theme and basically blamed black people's parenting skills and lack of music for the legacy of slavery.
He has to drop out.
So there you go.
You know he's not going to drop out though, even though he should, right?
Okay.
I think, you know, he's got to be thinking, I can't believe they're giving me a hard time just because I said that black parents should stop smoking crack and start playing records for their children.
That's a big deal.
So now you saw this.
So now Liz Warren falls for every stupid trick that Donald Trump.
You people are, you guys are more radical than I am.
How can that be?
I mean, I'm radical.
So Donald Trump got her to say this.
I am not a person of color.
I am not a citizen of a tribe.
Really?
I love to put my little Rachel in there.
Rachel always says that.
Really?
So I showed you this that Kamala Harris spoke at a Healthcare for Justice Labor Day rally at Kaiser Hospital where the workers got arrested demanding greedy multi-billion dollar Kaiser bargain a new contract.
She didn't say healthcare or Kaiser once.
Turns out she's a top recipient from Kaiser.
So there it is.
But if you look just a little higher, guess who's on it?
Elizabeth Warren got even more money.
And at the top, it's Beta Will Rourke, of course.
So here is Elizabeth Warren went on and she's...
So does this only apply in the primaries?
Or will you carry this over the general election or any other election you'll have going forward?
So this is for primaries.
Look, I do not believe in unilateral disarmament.
We need to win.
We need to win in 2020.
And when we hit 2020, and we're in a race against Donald Trump, when we're in a race for control of the Senate and control of the House and in control of state houses and the governor's mansions and all of those, the Republicans are going to be bringing a lot of money, a lot of power, a lot of dark money, a lot of super PACs all to the fight.
We play with the same rules.
And in that one, I say, we've got to be all in.
Let's go!
*Sings*
But you guys, don't you understand?
She's only going to, she only wants to take the dark money when it comes to the White House, the Senate, the House, governorships, state houses.
So when we do the dog catcher election, no dark money.
It'll be okay.
What the fuck is she talking about?
Every election we have, every election is for the White House and the Senate and the House and governorships and state legislatures.
When do we have an election that doesn't involve those people?
What the fuck kind of bullshit are you slinging?
Because it wouldn't get past me if she said it on my show.
Thank you.
I don't belong to a tribe.
So that one, I say we got to be all in.
Okay, all in means that we're going to take corporate money, big money, dark men.
That's bullshit, right?
I don't think that's right.
Okay.
And as Bernie says, you can't change a corrupt system by taking its money.
Thank you.
jimmy are you sure the full quote isn't you can't change a corrupt system by taking its money in the primaries Elizabeth Warren goes to bat for the medical device industry.
She did that.
She tried to get the tax taken off in Obamacare for the medical device industry.
Elizabeth Warren attends Martha's Vineyard dinner hosted by big bank executive Democrats.
Wolf of Wall Street, Robert Wolfe, hosts Wall Street critic Warren.
Former Wall Street CEO Robert Wolf told the New York Times after a Hamptons fundraiser, I think Senator Warren's views are more pragmatic.
I think she is very different in a conversation than she is on the stump.
So it sounds like she's got a private position and a public position.
Am I right, Malcolm?
Jimmy, she was just there to tell him to cut it out.
She's going to go to Wall Street and say, cut it out.
She didn't make any public announcement over the weekend regarding her participation in that donor event at Martha's Vineyard.
She did, however, post pictures on Twitter of a town hall she held in Martha's Vineyard prior to the dinner, noting that the event was what democracy looks like.
Hey, again, she's definitely better than all the other people running except for Bernie and Tulsi, but that's a big fucking drop-up.
Remember when they were saying, we're going to go to war with Iraq?
Iraq has the fifth largest military in the world.
There was a huge drop after that fourth military.
And that's what I feel like.
There's a huge drop after Bernie, Tulsi, and then Elizabeth Warren is way fucking, I can't, I don't know if you, do you trust her, Malcolm?
I don't know what it means to trust.
Do you think that she's going to fight the way Bernie or Tulsi would fight?
No.
Okay, that's what I thought.
To her bone, she's a tacapalist to her bone.
In recent months, Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts has visited New York at least twice for fundraising receptions, including one hosted by Meyer S. Fruker, the vice chairman of NASDAQ.
Now, that was in 2017 when she was raising money for her Senate campaign.
By the way, all that corporate money she raised for her Senate campaign, she's using in the fucking primary.
Am I right about that?
Yes, I am.
So here she is being asked about her military vote.
Now, Bernie voted against every budget of the military for Donald Trump, right?
How can you say a guy is a traitor and then give him $80 billion more to go bomb other countries?
He's going to be doing it at the behest of another country.
I thought he's a traitor.
Right?
He's working for Russia.
Why would you give him more money to bomb people?
He's just going to be doing it at the behest of Russia, right?
Oh, it's because you fucking know he's not doing it at the behest of Russia, and you're a fucking cock-sucking liar, fathead.
So here she gets asked about her vote, and here's what she said.
I have focused a lot on progressive domestic policy.
You also voted for a military budget increase in 2017.
How does that square with your progressive politics when we're talking about foreign policy?
If the question is, do I think we should cut the military budget?
The answer is yes.
Okay, that wasn't the question.
That's not the question.
I don't know if you heard the question.
She literally heard the question and then said, well, if the question is something else, it's not something else.
It's the fucking thing I just said.
What?
This is amazing.
I have focused a lot on progressive domestic policy.
You also voted for a military budget increase in 2017.
How does that square with your progressive politics when we're talking about foreign policy?
If the question is, do I think we should card the military budget?
The answer is yes.
Hey, if the question is what I did in the past, I say, let's talk about what I'm going to do in the future.
How about that?
That's amazing.
If the question is, do I enjoy chamomile tea in the evening?
The answer is yes.
Do you enjoy chamomile tea?
Here we go.
And I'm now on the Senate Armed Services Committee.
I've had this fight over and over.
But there's another part to it, too.
We need to stop the control over our defense budget that's exercised by the giant defense industry.
As you know, we now have a Secretary of Defense who spent seven years as head lobbyist for Raytheon.
I asked for some simple conflict of interest rules that he would abide by.
For example, not to make decisions that involve Raytheon and Raytheon's bottom line.
And he refused.
The Republicans confirmed him anyway.
But this is what corruption is all about.
Putting lobby.
You fucking voted for it.
What are you talking about?
You voted for that fucking corruption.
How dare you say this shit?
Deflecting when asked, I'm going to be deflecting when asked about a question about my military vote.
I have a plan for that.
Jimmy, I went to him and I asked him a direct question and he wouldn't answer it.
She has a hard time justifying voting for the military budget, just as I would have a hard time justifying voting for an establishment Democrat.
The only difference is I don't fucking do that.
Here's Elizabeth Warren is quietly, quietly telling Democratic insiders with phone calls, texts, and handwritten notes, the Massachusetts senator is continuing an unusually determined outreach effort to show party officials she is aligned with them.
That doesn't feel good.
I got to tell you, that doesn't feel good.
I'm looking for text messages, voicemail that says you're standing with the people.
Yeah, maybe the people of Standing Rock.
I would like to see it.
Where was that text message?
Where's the text message saying you're standing with Bernie in 2016?
Where's that text message?
Hey, here's a text message.
She's standing with Hillary Clinton.
Warren and Clinton talk behind the scenes as 2020 race intensifies.
That's what they're doing.
And here's Nate's liver.
He says, Warren's starting a lot to lock down her private positions.
She's found the sweet spot between Bernie's Medicare for All happening and Hillary's single payer is never ever going to happen.
Expensive access for all, supplementing with GoFundMe for all.
But Warren has made little effort to, so this is, they're not highlighting their connection together.
She says, Clinton, who is perceived by many on the left as too centric, perceived.
Perceived.
I perceive Chris Christie as spending too much time at the buffet.
I perceive.
I perceive.
To the extent that Democratic primary voters fear a repeat scenario in 2020, and to the extent that she's competing with Sanders for the votes of progressives, there may be good reason for Warren to keep her distance from Clinton publicly.
You think?
Hey, Superman, do you want to go pick up that kryptonite?
No, not right now.
I'm running for president.
This is one thing you can't accuse Bernie Sanders of is cozying up to Hillary Clinton.
I actually do give a fuck about your emails.
Warren is literally following the Obama 2008 playbook of peddling vague populist rhetoric to voters while behind the scenes, simultaneously assuring the donor class she'll play ball with them.
You don't need a crystal ball to see whose interests she'll attend to once in office.
I don't know.
I think that's pretty right on.
I really do.
She's, hey, whatever you say, she's definitely third choice for me.
There's no fucking doubt about it.
I mean, hey, this is what I think.
Narutan said, I love Elizabeth Warren, have hosted her at Center for American Progress many times.
She would never say that about Bernie.
She would never say that about Tulsi.
That's what, that's what makes me suspicious.
Like someone who's really against the establishment, they should be allergic to someone like Naritandon.
Narutan should be like, eh.
And if you don't know who Naritandon is, as Hillary Clinton's appointee on the DNC platform committee, Naritandon voted against the $15 minimum wage.
She voted against the ban on fracking.
She voted against Medicare for all, against tuition free state college.
She's voted against standing against the TPP.
But Nara did vote for military action on Iran.
That is friends with Elizabeth Warren.
And by the way, Elizabeth Warren stood up and applauded Trump when he said we're not a socialist nascent.
And I don't know if you can tell, but guess who fucking isn't standing and applauding?
That was bullshit.
That was when she lost my support.
You're going to stand and applaud for that motherfucker?
Motherfucker.
Fuck you forever.
That's what I felt like.
Oh, Jimmy, I am a capitalist to the bone.
To my bone.
You may have to take a hard look at Amy Klobuchar.
Why black voters are so important for Democrats in 2020?
Elizabeth Warren struggled to draw black voters is a big problem.
If Bernie's support was half as white as Warren's, it would be mentioned on TV every night.
Warren supported 71% white, by far the largest of all top-tier candidates.
Media crickets.
So spare us that Warren and Bernie are the same crap.
The establishment is all in for her.
But you know we're going to get stuck with her.
You know that's happening.
You know it's going to go to a second ballot.
They're going to choose Elizabeth Warren.
Bernie's going to fucking endorse her like he did Hillary.
And we're going to be sitting here pounding sand, fucking yelling into the wind like we always do.
And then we're going to put on a yellow vest.
We're going to shut down that fucking inauguration.
How about that?
I'll do that shit.
I'll do that.
I'll do that.
What are you going to do when Elizabeth Warren chooses Hillary as her running mate?
I know.
So, Steph has a theory.
Steph has a theory.
Do you want to tell it theory?
You want me to tell it?
Go ahead.
So, the theory is that Elizabeth Warren picks Hillary as her vice president, and then Elizabeth Warren has an accident.
Elizabeth Warren commits suicide, and then Hillary becomes a president.
It's fucking perfect.
That's funny.
Come on, that's funny.
Come on, that's funny.
Hello?
Wow!
Hello?
Wow, wow!
I hurt my toe, Jeb.
Is that you?
I guess so.
What's wrong with your foot?
I said it was my toe.
Who cares, right?
I'm just a bush son nobody cares about.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Steph Semarano, and Mark Van Landowick.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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