Jimmy Dore Show - 20190207_TJDS_0207_Podcast

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Feb. 7, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show

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20190207_TJDS_0207_Podcast

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	Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
	The Jimmy Dore Show.
	Hello, this is Jimmy.
	Jimmy!
	Hello?
	Jim Jam.
	Is this you, Mr. Secretary?
	Please, Jimmy, let's dispense with pleasant titties.
	Just call me Rick.
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
	Okay, Rick, how are you?
	Oh, Jimmy, I'm amazing.
	Guess what?
	Well, what, Rick?
	Guess what?
	I don't know, Rick.
	You're just going to have to tell me, buddy.
	Yes.
	Lord, I don't know, Rick.
	You just didn't...
	All right.
	You're no fun, man.
	Last night, during the States of the Union show, I got to be designated survivor.
	Yeah, I heard about that, Rick.
	Congratulations, buddy.
	Isn't that great?
	Yeah, in case a dozen government officials got killed in an incident that would have also probably killed hundreds, if not thousands of others, our limp, smoldering, warbound nation would be led by none other than Rick Perry.
	Oh, you have a way with words, little man.
	I like the way you said that.
	Hey, Jimmy?
	Yes.
	Have you ever heard of the TV show Designated Survivor?
	No.
	With Kiefer Sutherland in the role of me last night?
	Okay, I guess.
	Well, that TV show was me.
	So did you see the State of the Union address, Rick?
	No, they thought it would be safer if I didn't, so I wasn't allowed.
	Extra security measure.
	Did he mention me?
	No, sorry.
	Oh.
	Where were you doing the speech, Rick?
	Well, that part was awesome.
	They took me to what I can only assume was a CIA black site.
	They blindfolded me and put me in a van, and we drove for a while.
	And then when they took the blindfold off, it was amazing because they had made the CIA site look like the inside of a Burger King.
	It had a staff and other customers and everything.
	Very cloak and dagger.
	Very missionary possible.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	And the windows were giant TV screens to make it look like I was somewhere in suburban Maryland, like a not good area.
	Amazing technology.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	Well, how long were you there, Rick?
	Oh, I'm still here.
	But Rick, the speech ended last night, buddy.
	Oh, it's not still going on?
	No.
	No, Rick.
	Well, they told me to just stay put until they come back and get me.
	Oh, and they told me not to walk out the door into the illusion, you know, Maryland.
	Because I guess in real life, it's like Beetlejuice out there or some shit.
	Rick!
	It's cool.
	I'm sitting here fucking up some cheeseburgers till they get back.
	Rick, I think you should call him.
	I can't.
	They didn't let me have my cell phone.
	How are you calling me?
	Oh, the fake Burger King store let me use their landline, Wank Wink.
	Raul's a cool man.
	I think he's special ops.
	Okay, Rick.
	So you know my number, but not your office?
	I've been calling you for like eight years, dude.
	I've only worked here for two.
	Anyway, it's okay.
	It really is.
	I don't know how to explain it, but it's like I belong here.
	Okay, Rick.
	Well, please check in when you get back, buddy.
	Would you?
	We'll do, Jim Jam.
	You enjoy your journey, okay?
	And I, as always, will treasure mine.
	Raul, another round of that tater top.
	It's the Jimmy Dore show.
	The show for...
	...the kind of people that are...
	It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
	It's hard to talk to you, T-Wales.
	And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
	It's Jimmy Dore.
	Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
	We have a live stand-up show, February 28th, an intimate show in the small room in Burbank.
	Now, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
	Hey, did you hear the Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks?
	He's running for president.
	Did you know that he got upset that we refer to billionaires and billionaires?
	He wanted us to refer to them as people of privilege.
	You're kidding?
	That's a true thing.
	You know, after his plea for more sensitive titles for billionaires, Howard Schultz proved that Snowflake Venti should have been the title of his autobiography.
	And one thing I'm not going to criticize, I criticize a lot of things about Donald Trump, but the one thing I found out that he spends most of his day doing nothing.
	And it's one thing I'm not going to criticize that guy is on his work ethic because the less that guy works, the better.
	Hey, let me sum up the State of the Union for you.
	If you didn't see it, we fought in World War II and some guy had a birthday.
	You know, at the State of the Union's address, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz applauded Trump's We Will Never Be a Socialist Nation line.
	Well, there you have it, kids.
	Don't get cancer.
	Hey, big shout out to Homeland Security for protecting the Super Bowl from terror threats so fans could safely use the parking lot for sex trafficking.
	I don't know about you, but those civil rights figures taking part in the coin toss really made me feel better about the teams being owned by racists.
	You know my biggest takeaway from the halftime show?
	Man, I miss Janet Jackson's boob.
	I mean, who here doesn't long for the more innocent days of football when Bob Dylan was doing Chrysler commercials?
	And you know, behind every brain-damage football pro is a devoted spouse and millions of emotionally regressive sociopaths cheering him on to early cripplehood.
	Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
	That last joke, a little bit of a downer.
	The red baiting McCarthy smears of Tulsi Gabbard is off the charts.
	If you stand up to the military industrial complex and the Democratic Party, you will be mercilessly smeared and red baited as a Putin stooge relentlessly.
	A New York Times reporter goes on Joe Rogan's podcast to smear Tulsi Gabbard, and she doesn't even understand what the words she's using mean.
	She melts down.
	We talk about it.
	Also, Rachel Maddow is convinced Russia is trying to freeze you in your home.
	Plus, we got phone calls today from Ricky Bobby Perry, Herman Cain, Liam Neeson calls in to talk about his current trouble with racism.
	Plus, a lot lot more.
	That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
	So, Tulsi Gabbard announced, and she said something that is scaring the crap out of the establishment, the military-industrial complex, and Wall Street, and the oil companies in her announcement.
	You want to hear what it was?
	Here it is.
	It's about a minute long.
	I'll play it for you.
	I will work to end the new Cold War and lead us from the abyss of a nuclear war that could destroy our world in mere minutes.
	Wow, she's going to end the Cold War.
	She's not going to ramp up the Cold War.
	That's scary to the military-industrial complex.
	I will build partnerships with other nations based on shared interests, leading with the foreign policy not based on conflict, but instead cooperation.
	What?
	No.
	No, they're trying, they're going to turn off our power grid.
	Come on, if it gets cold, they'll kill Russia's.
	They're all bad.
	It's horrible.
	What do you do?
	She doesn't care because it's warm in Hawaii.
	That's right.
	She doesn't care.
	She doesn't watch Rachel Maddow enough.
	She doesn't watch Rachel Maddow enough, Tulsi.
	I will end the regime change wars that have taken far too many lives, cost trillions of dollars, and undermined our security.
	Bam.
	Now that's the part that really scares them.
	And that's the part that, and you know, the corporate media is in bed with the people that she's against: Wall Street wars, the military-industrial complex wars.
	The people, they all spot the military-industrial complex, they all sponsor NBC and the corporate news.
	So the people she's going against basically run the news.
	I'll say that.
	Let's put it that way.
	They fund the news.
	They fund it.
	So that scares the hell out of them.
	By strengthening terrorist groups like Al-Qaeda and ISIS.
	And I will have the courage to meet with both friends and adversaries in the pursuit of peace and our national security.
	Which is the opposite of what the George Bush administration did.
	They would always say, we're not going to even talk to our enemies until they meet our demands first, which is not how negotiations work, which is why the Bush administration was horrible.
	It's one of the reasons.
	And then Barack Obama continued that policy.
	If we lack the courage to meet with those we disagree with, the only alternative is war.
	That's it.
	So this is what this, so when you do this, when you make, when you're a two-tour veteran who's a major and you have the, and you have the respect of people because you're a veteran and people know what that you know what you're talking about because you've been in iraq for two tours and you saw people your brothers and sisters die and now you come back and you are vehemently against those regime change wars what are they going to do and and they know you have credibility and people on both sides of the aisle like your message of anti-interventionism what are they going to do to you what are
	they going to do to you this is what they're going to do to you this is the same nbc that fired at schultz for covering bernie sanders this is the same nbc that fired phil donahue and jesse ventura for telling the truth about the iraq war and now look what they're doing to someone who's telling the truth about our regime change wars they said the russian propaganda machine that tried to influence the 2016 U.S. election is now promoting the presidential aspirations of 2020 Democratic candidate Tulsi Gabbard.
	If there were journalistic standards, you could probably go to jail for that.
	That's how bad that is.
	Like I thought, you know how in Germany, you're not allowed to even give a Hitler salute anymore.
	You're not allowed to do that.
	You're not even allowed to do that.
	Is it NBC who brought us Donald Trump?
	NBC, who brought us Donald Trump, who gave him his own TV show for years and years and years, even after he was chasing the president around racebaiting him for his longborn birth certificate, they didn't care.
	What was I saying right before you said that?
	That it could be illegal.
	Why wouldn't this be illegal?
	Why would it like this to be published?
	If there was, that's how bad this.
	I thought this kind of red baiting.
	And NBC does it right out in the open.
	So now you know that NBC News is in fact the enemy of the people.
	Is in fact.
	Now, I know you're not supposed to say that.
	For some reason, you're not supposed to be allowed to say.
	I asked my panel, they didn't know why.
	I asked everybody on the panel last Friday, why aren't you allowed to tell the people the truth?
	That corporate news is not your friend and is in fact working against you, lying and smearing exactly the enemy of people.
	They're the friend of murderers.
	They're the friend of the war profiteers and propagandists and liars.
	That's who NBC News is in bed with.
	And if you tell the truth about those people they're in bed with, this is what they do to you.
	This is what's happening.
	Katrina Vandenhoeff tweeted out, what you think of Tulsi Gabbard isn't the point.
	What matters is we're witnessing influential media outlet equating dissenting foreign policy thinking with the Kremlin essentially stigmatizing anyone who thinks differently.
	This is NBC News.
	What this is is NBC News meddling in our election, trying to foment discord by spreading propaganda, fake news.
	This is who's meddling in your election, the people who brought you Donald Trump.
	NBC.
	Chelsea Gabbard in 2016, when it comes to the war against terrorism, I'm a hawk.
	Complaining about dumb media coverage is fine, but when it comes to her views, she makes Dick Cheney seem like an iconoclast progressive.
	The next thing you're going to tell me is that Chris Christie's an anorexic.
	This is your mainstream news reporting.
	This is what gets done.
	And guess what he's doing again?
	The most important part of that quote would be the next part, which he leaves out on purpose.
	Second part of the quote, when it comes to counterproductive wars of regime change, I'm a dove.
	That doesn't sound like Dick Cheney, the war criminal.
	Sounds like the opposite of Dick Cheney.
	Didn't at one point he say something like, go fuck yourself, I'm a dove.
	Glenn Greenwald says, if you look at the number of journalists and activists who have been casually accused by leading Democrats and their media loyalists of being Russian stooges, Russian assets, or Russian agents, it's a true mania, rivaling the jingoistic madness of the, I just had it done to me.
	Somebody all day spent tweeting that I'm a Putin puppet.
	Somebody with a blue check.
	That happens all the time, by the way.
	That happens several times a day, but someone spent a whole day themselving.
	The Russian propaganda machine that tried to influence the 2016 election is now promoting the presidential aspirations of 2020 Democrat.
	Just let that sink in.
	They're doing that to a veteran.
	They're doing that to a veteran.
	That's not some jagoff.
	That's a two-tour veteran.
	And remember when everybody was upset that Trump was denigrating that Gold Star family?
	Do you remember that?
	Everybody, the whole world stopped.
	How dare you do that?
	Oh, turns out you guys don't care.
	That was all bullshit.
	You only pretended to care about that Gold Star family because it was Trump.
	Because you will do it to a veteran right now who's still alive.
	And here, and so in this article, do you know who they rely on for this information that Russia is promoting her presidential campaign?
	Do you know who they rely on for this information?
	I'm not kidding.
	This is the only knowledge.
	This is the only people they, an analyst at New Knowledge, the company the Senate Intelligence Committee used to track Russian activities in 2016 election.
	They told NBC News they've spotted chatter related to Gabbard in anonymous online message boards, including those known for fomenting right-wing troll campaigns.
	First of all, let's say everything they say in that is true.
	What?
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	This is your NBC.
	You can't even come up with a better lie than this.
	This is it.
	This is it.
	That there's some anonymous people on an anonymous chat board who started talking more about Tulsi Gabbard.
	Maybe because she announced for president, but this leads this leads to this headline that Russia is now pushing her camp this.
	And by the way, now we're going to tell you who New Knowledge is.
	Now, I already told you, we already did a whole thing about this group called New Knowledge, the company the Senate Intelligence Committee uses for its info on RussiaGate.
	This new knowledge, well, as the intercept points out, NBC News to smear Gabbard as a Kremlin favorite, relied on a group that is heralded as experts without telling its audience about the major fraud which this firm just got caught perpetrating.
	So this is a so this, these people that they quote new knowledge, completely discredited, already discredited.
	We covered it.
	And if you missed it, I'll tell you who they are right now.
	Oh, by the way, NBC News even tweeted out this.
	It says several experts who track websites and social media linked to the Kremlin have seen what they believe may be the first stirrings of an upcoming Russian campaign to support Hawaii Democrat Tulsi Gabbard.
	Several experts, LOL, Glenn Greenwald said, he says, by several experts, they mean one, a firm that just got caught fabricating Russian bots on behalf of the Democrats so severely that they got banned from Facebook.
	That's new knowledge.
	And number two, the other expert that they quote, you're not going to believe this.
	It's a guy who's just described as an Indiana dad and is an amateur, as an amateur who studies Russian bots as a hobby.
	Those are their two experts.
	One, a completely discredited organization, new knowledge, and then just some random dude in Indiana who's just a hobby.
	I'm an amateur.
	I have another job.
	What are your qualifications?
	I spend time on my computer.
	Yeah, that's it.
	I spend time on it.
	So this is one of the guys who runs New Knowledge.
	This is where they're getting their info.
	NBC News.
	By the way, that info, could it be any thinner?
	Talk about thinner than piss on a rock.
	Oh my God.
	There's some chatter.
	There's some chatter out of some anonymous websites about some stuff.
	There's some chatter, claimed the people who got caught making up chatter.
	That's right.
	So if you, the guy, this guy is one of the founders of that company, New Knowledge.
	And if you look at their backgrounds, these are all former deep state MFers.
	This guy used to work at the Special Operations Command and the CNO analyst for the U.S. Army.
	These guys are deep state guys.
	This guy, Jonathan Morgan, another founder of New Knowledge.
	This guy, special advisor to the State Department.
	Come on.
	He works at the Brookings Institute.
	These guys are all.
	And what is their game?
	So what they do, as we found out, is they're running a grift.
	So they're creating, they literally got caught creating Russian bots on the internet to influence a campaign in Alabama.
	They got caught doing that.
	That's why they got banned from Facebook.
	So, but they NBC still quotes them as if they're legit.
	And here's their con: this guy caught it, Yashi Levine.
	He said the New York Times, of course, does not point out New Knowledge's obvious conflict of interest in whipping up bullshit fears of cybermeddling.
	It wants to make money offering a solution.
	So this company that NBC News is still quoting, even though it's been totally discredited and banned from Facebook, this company created these bots, fake Russian bots, infiltrated elections.
	They actually did the thing they're claiming Russia's doing.
	They did it.
	And why are they doing it?
	Because they can then sell you the solution.
	You mean they don't tell you that.
	Of course they don't, because the Washington Post is also a liar and an enemy of the people.
	They're owned by Dr. Evil himself.
	And Democracy Dies in Darkness isn't a warning.
	That's a mission statement.
	And there it is.
	Facebook suspended the account of John Morgan, the chief executive of a top social media research firm, after reports that he and others engaged in an operation to spread disinformation during the special election in L Ben.
	So that guy, the guy NBC is basing this whole bullshit smear of Tulsi Gabbard on, is that guy who got banned from Facebook for doing the exact thing he's trying to sell you a solution for.
	He's a lying liar grifter.
	He's a scum of the earth, this guy.
	This guy is fomenting fear and red baiting so he can make money off it.
	He's the scum of the earth.
	That's who Jonathan Morgan is.
	Scum of the earth.
	Nothing lower than this guy.
	He's an enemy of America.
	He's the enemy of America.
	He should be in prison.
	This guy should be pilloried.
	Not Tulsi Gabbard.
	He's smearing Tulsi Gabbard.
	A congresswoman and a two-tour veteran from Iraq who's standing up to tell the truth about wars.
	This piece of shit is smearing her.
	He should be in jail.
	But NBC smears Tulsi Gabbard and not her.
	And now you know why NBC is also an enemy of the people and scum of the earth and not to be trusted ever.
	So here's the story.
	I don't even need to go into it, but here's the story.
	Secret experiment, secret experiment, an Alabama race, an experiment.
	That's how the New York Times put it.
	As Glenn Greenwald concludes, he says, in any event, NBC News to smear Tulsi Gabbard as a Kremlin favorite relied on a group that is heralded as experts without telling its audience about the major fraud, which this firm just got caught perpetrating in order to, on behalf of the Democratic Party, fabricate claims of Kremlin interference in the Alabama Senate race.
	Now, you have to remember, the Democrat establishment hates Tulsi Gabbard because she outed them for, she backed Bernie Sanders over Hillary Clinton, and she resigned from the DNC because she said the debate schedule was rigged in Hillary's favor and she was right.
	So she's already revealed the DNC to be scammers and cheaters and corrupt.
	So that's why they hate her.
	And of course, NBC News is in bed with the Democratic Party.
	So they do what they want and they just smear her.
	This is how this game works.
	And Glenn concludes by saying, that's because the playbook used by the Axis of the Democratic Party, NBC, and MSNBC, neocons, and the intelligence community has been, is, and will continue to be a very simple one.
	The playbook is a simple one.
	It's one to smear any adversary of the establishment wing of the Democratic Party.
	We've been smeared by Washington Post.
	We've been smeared by CNN.
	We've been smeared by other MSNBC wannabes.
	They're not even on yet.
	Why?
	Because we are adversaries of the establishment wing of the Democratic Party.
	Whether on the left or right, they smear you as a stooge or an asset of the Kremlin.
	A key target will undoubtedly be, and indeed already is, Bernie Sanders.
	So they're already doing that to Bernie too.
	Because Bernie's an outsider in the Democratic Party.
	So they smear him.
	To accomplish this McCarthyite goal, this Democratic Party coalition of neocons, intelligence operatives, and NBC stars will deceive, smear, and even engage in outright journalistic deception, as NBC once again just proved with this report.
	So I wasn't going to even do a show today, and then NBC was worse than I could ever, ever fucking imagine.
	And people wag their finger at this show ever?
	Wow.
	I mean, it gives us a lot to look forward to in 2020.
	I mean, it's only going to keep going.
	Like, hey, is Russia helping Bernie?
	There's a dude in Iowa who says yes.
	Cool, print it.
	Unbelievable, right?
	I mean, I can't.
	It's cartoon now.
	It's cartoon land.
	And again, I want to point out that you can bring this up in your own conversations.
	When it comes to Venezuela, Trump is backing the coup and wants to overthrow Maduro in Venezuela and take the oil.
	And Russia is stopping him.
	Now, if Trump is a Putin puppet, why is he opposing Russia in Venezuela?
	So if you're for overthrowing Maduro, you agree with Trump.
	Trump is a Putin puppet.
	You already admit that.
	So how could you be going along with a Putin puppet?
	And if you're against Trump in Venezuela, you're on the side of Russia.
	So now you're a Putin puppet.
	So no matter which side of that equation you're on, you are a Putin puppet.
	So can we stop this now?
	Of course we won't.
	But that's the easiest way to reveal you that this RussiaGate stuff is complete bullshit and people pushing it aren't thinking.
	The people who pushed Russia Gate, again, I'll explain to you what it is.
	Their lizard brain gets excited by Donald Trump and their critical thinking skills go right out the window.
	Some of the smartest people I know, Rachel Maddow, she's really smart.
	She's a maniac.
	She's like, she's worse than Glenn Beck used to be with his chalkboard and saying Muslims are coming.
	Muslims are coming.
	She's doing it.
	She's saying it's Russians.
	Listening to Tulsi Gabbard share her vision of peace.
	I would think that would be everywhere today, highlighted and examined and celebrated.
	NBC News changed the narrative.
	They got to change the narrative.
	Now everybody's talking about her rush, the story that they printed.
	So you can see how scared the power structure is right now.
	That's what that is.
	That's fear of Tulsi Gabbard.
	They didn't print that story because they had a scoop.
	They printed that story because they got to get rid of her.
	Well, that, and they love what it's doing for their ratings.
	You know, I mean, even though most of the public is kind of over Russia, the MSNBC audience, the people they're really catering to, are not.
	And they love that.
	They love that.
	They don't really care about defeating Trump because if they did, there would be if the corporate media honestly talked about what was going on in this country daily.
	I know.
	Whoever is the president, Donald Trump, it wouldn't matter.
	They would not get re-elected.
	There's no freaking way.
	If every day it was just Flint doesn't have clean water, Flint doesn't, whoever's president, nobody would get re-elected as president until this country got better.
	So if they really cared about defeating Trump, they would actually report honestly that they don't care, but they don't care about beating Trump.
	They carried, let me just say one more time.
	Please remember that the first order of business of the corporate media and the Democratic Party is not to defeat Republicans or Trump.
	It's first to make sure whoever represents the workers gets defeated.
	And then if we can defeat Trump and the Republicans, we'll do that.
	But if we can't, no problem, because that's basically our agenda, too.
	So the only time the Democratic Party gets serious about defeating someone is if they're to their left.
	Well, you know, Jimmy, I think I heard this.
	I think I read it.
	But isn't Steve Mnuchin Russian?
	And isn't that why he gave so much money to Kamala Harris?
	Yeah, Kamala Harris is a Russian.
	Yeah, and so now she's really just representing the Kremlin.
	That's right.
	She's a Russian.
	I got that from New Knowledge, I think.
	Well, Nancy Pelosi is also for the coup in Venezuela.
	So she's a Russian because Trump's a Russian and he's for it too.
	The Kremlin is against it.
	We're all Russian puppets.
	Isn't that awesome?
	I thought there was a red under my bed last night.
	It was just my cat, but I was alarmed.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	You know, oh, boy.
	Okay, there you go.
	I bet you're not going to hear this story reported correctly anywhere else except on a few YouTube channels.
	And that's pretty much all I need to know about them.
	Hello.
	I don't have much time.
	I'm only going to tell you this once.
	So listen very closely.
	I am not a racist.
	Oh.
	And you must leave immediately to go someplace for further instructions because your daughter has been taken.
	Who is this?
	Liam Neeson.
	Who else would sound like this?
	The only one who comes close will be Kristen Bale.
	And that's only when he played Batman.
	But is this really Liam Neeson?
	Of course it is, you stupid Dago.
	And I'm not racist.
	Okay, thanks.
	At least not now.
	But maybe for a week or two when I was hunting black people on the streets.
	Look, I can explain this.
	Would you like me to explain this?
	Because I can do that pretty easily without making myself look twice as bad in the process.
	I can do that.
	Sure.
	You don't have much time.
	I have a very particular set of skills.
	No, explain the hunting down black men in the streets thing.
	Oh, come on.
	Wouldn't you want to be hunted down and killed by People Magazine's 2004 sexiest man alive?
	I mean, if you had a choice between that and some average nutjob, there, we all better know.
	But why?
	I don't know.
	It's just a popularity contest, Jimmy.
	It's not important.
	No, no.
	Why roam the streets wanting to kill black men?
	I was really mad.
	It was just a phase I was going through.
	A phase.
	Look, I had to go on Good Morning America and talk about this.
	Haven't I suffered enough?
	I don't watch Good Morning America.
	I would have said the same thing about a Lithuanian, a Brit, an Irisher, a German, or even an Armenian.
	So it wasn't about this guy's skin color then.
	Of course not.
	Me asking about the attacker's skin color doesn't mean a thing.
	I could just as easily have asked if the guy was wearing a kilt.
	Then I would have gone into the Scott areas of the city looking to caution Scott.
	They call it cosscotting.
	Those kilt-wearing bastards.
	Or a Dutch guy.
	Was he wearing wooden clogs?
	Those clog-wearing, cheese-eating, Gouda bastards.
	I'll cut them.
	See, it's all the same.
	Though I've never seen a black Scott, do they even make those?
	Look, that was all 40 years ago, right?
	Of course, Jimmy.
	That's the whole point, right?
	But it sure seems Like yesterday.
	And you really thought revealing all this now would help sell your movie?
	Look, Jamie, I was just trying to draw parallels between myself at a young age and the character I play in Cold Pursuit, who savagely kills 30 people with a snowplow.
	Are we good?
	Sure.
	Liam, what's your plans for the future?
	I'm currently undergoing sensitivity training.
	Following that, I'll be shooting a new film called Your Next Asshole.
	Okay, I think he handled it well.
	Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
	We're not playing that game.
	But here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
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	Hey, Ring Ring.
	Hey, Herman Kane's on the line.
	Hello, Herman.
	High, high, high.
	999.
	999.
	No, no, no.
	It is III, Herman Cain.
	And I feel fine, fine, fine.
	You know why?
	Why, why?
	Does it have anything to do with Donald Trump considering you for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board?
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Could you stop that, please?
	I'm trying.
	What makes you think Trump will choose you?
	Three words, Jimmy.
	Opportunity zones.
	Shall I explain?
	Let me explain.
	We got to produce more opportunity zones, Jimmy.
	Or to put it in terms you can understand, zones for opportunity.
	Okay.
	And how do we do that, you ask?
	Yes.
	By creating distinct areas or regions or zones.
	And within those areas or zones, we will insert opportunity.
	Opportunity, Jimmy, comes from the Latin opportunitas, where apor means nine and tunitas means nine nine.
	Put them together and you hear a knocking sound.
	999.
	And that sound will be what, Jimmy?
	Opportunity.
	Yes, opportunity will multiply.
	Thrive.
	Multiply, thrive.
	Can you say that?
	Of course I can.
	Thrive will create more opportunity.
	So much opportunity that more opportunities will burst from each distinct zone, thereby creating more opportunity zones or ozones.
	We need more ozone.
	999.
	Did you say 999 again?
	I don't believe I did.
	Why?
	All right, what about affordable housing, Herman?
	We have to think beyond affordable housing, meaning we pass it up entirely.
	Because if these people can't take advantage of these opportunity zones, so to speak, then they should all just die of exposure.
	999.
	Why do you keep saying that?
	Saying what?
	Never mind, never mind.
	The problem with you, lunatic liberals or lunerals, is you sound like an out-of-tune orchestra playing the I Hate Trump symphony.
	Why don't you go poke holes in a potato and make a whistle out of it?
	What are you saying?
	I'm a plain speaking self-made man, Jimmy.
	If you can't understand what I'm saying, then maybe Raspberry Steam Clock Cow Moo, right?
	Hey, listen, Herman, what do you think of Volcasio-Cortez's new Green New Deal?
	She is economically illiterate.
	How?
	Clickety clack, click, clack.
	All right, but how is she economically illiterate?
	How?
	She can't math.
	That's how.
	Thrive zones of opportunity.
	What's how?
	You don't understand.
	You can't tax us rich people.
	It's not your money.
	It's our money.
	No, no, no, nine.
	If we can't tax people.
	If we can't tax rich people, Herman, then who can we tax?
	The people living in those opportunity zones because they have thrive.
	Follow me?
	I'm confused.
	Let me help you out, Jimmy.
	You have your thrive zones of opportunity, and within each O-zone, there exists another zone of thrive and another equally powerful zone of opportunity, B. When those two areas meet, two electrons are lost and one proton is gained, setting off a chain reaction of prosperity.
	I am certifiably grade A American USDA choice off my fucking rocker insane.
	Mark Carling Orson, come in, please.
	Hey, listen, the cold weather snap really screwed some people up.
	I don't know if you saw there was a cold weather snap.
	And I don't know if you saw my favorite news person.
	Hey, there's a polar vortex coming over the Midwest.
	Who do you think's responsible?
	I don't know, maybe.
	And it is like negative 50 degrees in the Dakotas right now.
	What would happen if Russia killed the power in Fargo today?
	I love how they de-platformed Alex Jones and Rachel Maddo was like, I'll take that baton.
	Conspiracies every night, all night.
	Oh, Alex Jones been deplatformed.
	We got rid of that crazy conspiracy there.
	Is Rachel Maddow?
	Hold my beard.
	Oh, no.
	You have been unplugged.
	Oh, I've been unplugged.
	So let's play.
	The Russians shut off the computer.
	Oh, my God.
	Right after I talked to Kami.
	So let's want to hear that again because I do.
	And it is like negative 50 degrees in the Dakotas right now.
	What would happen if Russia killed the power in Fargo today?
	Wow, what if Mexicans at MS-13 came over and gang raped your grandma on Christmas Day?
	It is Christmas right now.
	I'm not making this up.
	Well, you know, these temperatures look awful similar to what temperature it is in Moscow right fucking now.
	This is Russian weather!
	laughter
	Boy, how much Russian vodka do you have to drink to watch this show?
	You convert those numbers to letters.
	It spells Putin's dick across America.
	It does.
	Well, Rachel Maddow should just put on a leather jacket and a pair of skis at this point.
	Am I right?
	And jump that fucking shark, baby.
	Okay?
	RussiaGate has officially jumped the shark.
	Is it not?
	Okay, I'm sorry.
	the gay colors.
	What if a Muslim terrorist wants to blow up buildings in America?
	And what if they do it on a really cold day and you have to stand outside because a building is destroyed and you just cranked up your heat to 86 so you're wearing shorts.
	What happens then?
	What if the earth was collapsing and your advertisers are the oil and military lobby, so you can't talk about why it's really happening?
	What about that?
	What if the Russians cut the power while you were watching porn right before you came and then you had blue balls forever?
	That's terrible.
	That is real.
	What if the Russians cut the power right in the middle of a shower and you had soap in your eyes and then the water got cold because they killed the fuck up?
	Then you're going to have cold soapy eyes.
	She has more to say.
	This is okay.
	What would happen if all the natural gas lines that service Sioux Falls just poofed on the coldest day in recent memory and it wasn't?
	What would happen?
	What would happen?
	What would happen if poof?
	What happened if you went to bed tonight and your house just went poof?
	Did you ever think about that?
	We'll start thinking about it.
	And she keeps this chart up like it's some proof of something.
	Like, look at those temperatures, told you.
	It doesn't.
	What would happen if a bunch of people didn't want a pipeline going through their native indigenous land because a white community voted to have its sidestep from it?
	And then what would happen if Tiger Swan was hired by those police to fucking gas and throw water at those people that just wanted drinkable water?
	What would happen then?
	What would happen?
	MSNBC would not cover it.
	Oh.
	That's what would happen.
	So what's the purple area?
	Our power, whether or not to turn them back on.
	I mean, what would you do if you lost heat indefinitely as the act of a foreign power?
	I don't know.
	Maybe I'd burn some wood, I guess.
	But you know what?
	Putin already fucking gathered up all the wood, I met you.
	That's what Glenn Greenwald said on Twitter today.
	I bet Peter Putin already cut all the wood.
	It is a polar vortex, right?
	Who owns all the cold air?
	It's fucking Russia, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's what they did.
	They always went into bobsledding, don't they?
	You know what I mean?
	I always went to the other big bobsled team.
	Can you imagine if Russia hacked into our health care system and denied 30 million people health care or something?
	Could you imagine that?
	Russia.
	Can you imagine if Russia contaminated Flint water and it's still dirty five years fucking later and nobody fixed it?
	Fucking Russia.
	Russia.
	God damn it.
	My wife didn't come last night.
	Fucking Russia.
	True story.
	That's my job.
	Oh!
	Go!
	These are jokes.
	These are all jokes.
	He kept saying Russia.
	That's an Albanian bond.
	I totally can't.
	You know, I can't, you know, if I don't have that Tulsi Gabbard saying I'm great thing playing, I can't come.
	know that.
	Here we go.
	I think there's more to this.
	On the same day, the temperature in your front yard matched the temperature in Antarctica.
	I mean, what would you and your family do?
	I don't know.
	Shit our pants and vote for Hillary again?
	That's what we do.
	That's who we do.
	Oh my God.
	So Rachel is playing Mad Libs.
	You just insert some outside group, make up some terrible catastrophe, and then add a weird twist.
	Like Russians destroy power grid.
	On a super cool day, okay.
	Iran blows up the Super Bowl before the halftime show by Maroon 5.
	So what...
	So where did this came from?
	So here's the thing that's actually horrible.
	Even more, like that's cartoonish about Rachel, right?
	So that's cartoonish.
	But now it's when she actually becomes horrible, right?
	Even more horrible than scaremongering America about Russia.
	I mean, I thought we got past all that.
	We realized Russians are people too.
	Sting did a song about it.
	But Rachel's trying to ramp that back up, so we hate everything Russian.
	It's xenophobia is what it is.
	She's doing it.
	She's a road scholar.
	I know she knows what the fuck it is.
	And she's doing it anyway, right?
	That's how far gone she is.
	And where this came from, it came from the worldwide threat assessment that the, this is from the director of national intelligence puts out, right?
	And it's from Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.
	That was from January 29th.
	And in it, they said that our power grid is susceptible to Russia and China.
	They said that.
	They've been saying that for a long time.
	But this is the first time they kind of declassified it.
	And the guy who said it, if you notice who wrote the report, it's a guy named Daniel Coates.
	So who is Daniel Coates?
	So Rachel never mentions who wrote this report.
	So this report was written by a guy named Daniel Coates, right?
	He was a senator, congressman.
	He was ambassador.
	He's been in and out of the intelligence community.
	He supported the 2003 Iraq invasion under the pretext of uncovering Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.
	And he was as an ambassador during the lead up to the Iraq war.
	He pressured the German government not to oppose the war, threatening worse U.S. relations with Germany if they didn't support.
	So this guy is a WMD guy.
	That's who Dan Coates is.
	He's a WMD guy.
	And even worse, he opposed the fucking Iran nuclear deal that Obama got.
	Remember, everybody's like, this is the thing that's going to save the world.
	We've got to have this.
	And now Trump is trying to undo it.
	Well, this is it.
	And he opposed that.
	That's what kind of a maniac Dan fucking Coates is.
	And then he got appointed by Trump.
	So Rachel Maddow doesn't say anything like that.
	She goes, well, of course, we shouldn't put too much weight on this because Dan Coates is a fucking liar.
	And he led us into the Iraq war.
	And we should always be skeptical of our intelligence community.
	Well, I think Dan Coates is a motherfucker and a liar.
	And Rachel Maddow never told you that.
	She's not even a little skeptical.
	She's not even, I'm sure our power grids are susceptible, just like the rest of the fucking world is susceptible.
	You know what else Russia has?
	About 15,000 nuclear fucking bombs that they can explode at any time.
	Why would they fucking do that to our power grid, you stupid, fear-mongering knucklehead?
	They could just explode us with nuclear bombs if they wanted to.
	Plus, we have nuclear bombs.
	If they did that, do us, we'd fucking, you motherfucker.
	So this is why Rachel Maddow sucks.
	This is why she's leading us into another war.
	She is trying to start a fucking war.
	And you know what she gets out of it?
	She gets number one ratings, baby.
	She's the number one fucking cable host.
	She used to do great segments about how the FBI was fucking us over.
	And she didn't get any ratings.
	Now she's doing this 24-7 and she's the number one host and she doesn't give a fuck.
	You think I'm kidding?
	Watch this.
	So watch this.
	So she got called out on it, right?
	So she got called out on it.
	And WikiLeaks says, U.S. largest audience TV host, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow.
	This evening, Russia will freeze you and your family to death.
	So that's WikiLeaks.
	So Rachel, instead of taking her lumps and going, God, I went a little bit overboard today.
	Wow, I really, I Glenn Beck did.
	She's like Glenn Beck.
	Remember Glenn Beck with the chalkboard?
	Yeah, she's moved past the chalkboard.
	She got a higher budget.
	Glenn Beck used to get a chalkboard and say, Muslims are coming.
	The Muslims are coming.
	And she's doing the Russians are coming.
	She's exactly like Glenn Beck, and she probably has little character.
	So Rachel Maddow doesn't take her lumps.
	What does she do?
	She goes, oh, you mad?
	Touche.
	Ha ha!
	I'm going to lead us into World War III.
	Are you mad?
	That's what she says.
	So then she knows she's taking heat for this.
	So then she tweets this out.
	She said, unclassified director of national intelligence report this week says for the first time that China and Russia can cut portions of the U.S. electoral grid or power supply at will.
	So that's, and again, she's saying the director of national intelligence, that guy, Dan fucking Coates, that's who it is.
	And he's a Trump appointee.
	It's amazing how much shit she won't tell you about a Trump appointee when she fucking agrees with him.
	Isn't that amazing?
	Yes, because that's what this is.
	We interviewed a Wall Street Journal energy reporter about it Wednesday night, which caused RT Sputnik and WikiLeaks to all freak out.
	No, that's not what caused them to freak out.
	It was you saying Russia is going to freeze us to death.
	That's what caused them to freak out.
	It wasn't that you had a Wall Street Journal reporter on that to spew some more bullshit, by the way.
	Did they still say Russia hacked the Vermont grid?
	Because that story is still up at the Washington Post.
	That is still up.
	A totally bullshit story that Russia hacked the energy grid in Vermont, completely debunked, total fake news.
	Wall Street, Washington Post still has it up.
	Did they lose their Facebook page?
	No, they didn't lose their Facebook page.
	That story is still fucking up.
	They have an editor's note at the bottom.
	At the bottom of the article, it says, this article is bullshit.
	And they leave it up.
	So Rachel Maddow now wants us to rely on intelligence, the intelligence community, the intelligence community, which we just found out.
	An FBI guy admitted, we just saw the former director of FBI admit that it was the FBI's directive to keep progressives out of government.
	You saw that video I did.
	So now Rachel Maddow just takes anything they say uncritically.
	You know what that's called?
	That's called being a stenographer to power.
	That's not called being a journalist.
	And guess who knows that?
	She fucking does.
	So these are the people Rachel Maddow now accepts their work uncritically.
	People like this.
	As Director Tennant has pointed out, Secretary Powell presented evidence last week that Baghdad has failed to disarm its weapons of mass destruction, willfully attempting to evade and deceive the international community.
	Our particular concern is that Saddam Hussein may supply terrorists with biological, chemical, or radiological material.
	So these are the guy can't even make eye contact.
	He's lying so hard and he knows it.
	And now he's the liberal hero.
	And now Rachel Maddow loves this guy and she just repeats whatever this guy or Dan Coates or anybody else in the intelligence community says whenever it lines up with her point of view.
	That's called a hack.
	A hack is unable to tell the truth unless it lines up with their already fucking preconceived view.
	That's what Rachel Maddow is.
	And that's what we're living through.
	And it's amazing that still people like Lee Camp and I have to struggle to get the truth out.
	But people like Rachel Maddow, who was fucking literally doing McCarthyite smears on the regular, gets promoted as the number one person, and she'll never lose her fucking Facebook page.
	We know that.
	You know how cynical all of this is?
	Do you remember for one week after the election who they blamed Hillary's loss on?
	It was FBI.
	No, it wasn't Russia yet.
	It was the FBI.
	It was James Comey.
	For one week, the Comey's like fucking Comey, Opri opened the investigation.
	He lost the election.
	And then the whole Democratic elites realized, oh, going against the FBI in the deep state is probably not the best idea for us.
	It was fucking Russia.
	And for one week, they were like, it was fucking Comey.
	Then Comey became the hero and they said it's Russia.
	Yes, very well said.
	It's again.
	And we're living through another red scare.
	I never thought it would happen.
	I mean, literally, I just saw that Good Night and Good Luck.
	Well, how many years ago?
	We just had that Trumbo, what was that other one?
	Yeah, I mean, like, you know what's funny is I saw, you know, so they had that movie, The Post, right?
	And so I saw they had the crew with, what, Steven Spielberg, not the crew, but the cast, and they're all being interviewed, and nobody says, hey, by the way, this is happening right now with Julian Assange, and we should all stand up for him.
	None of them said that.
	They all say it's different.
	They all go, even Tom Hanks is like, no, it's just a little.
	He's viewed as a hero now.
	And it's the same thing with Julian Assange, and none of them have the balls to be like, look at Assange.
	And by the way, they prosecuted Danielle Ellsberg.
	He got prosecuted, and another guy also did too.
	Thank you very much.
	Tony Russo went on to be the manager of the White Sox.
	I'm sorry, it's Tony LaRussa.
	Different guy.
	That's different.
	Diverging.
	Dipper guy.
	Totally different guy.
	But a hero nonetheless.
	He was the motherload of heroes.
	I love what Maya says.
	Maya says a top-rated daily news show has spent close to two years now devoting a majority of its airtime to proof by assertion and arguments proponing a xenophobic conspiracy theory calculated to benefit a political party.
	Nothing amiss there, right?
	Yeah, very well said, Maya.
	Very well said.
	And let me just say this is from one show.
	I've played this before.
	This is from one show.
	Someone put this together.
	People over at thenewsSomething.com.
	And here we go.
	Ready?
	Here we go.
	Russia.
	Russia, Vladimir Putin, Russia, Russia.
	Russia hates Russia.
	Russia.
	Russia.
	Putin.
	Russia's Russian-Russian.
	Moscow.
	Moscow.
	Russia.
	Russian pro-Russian.
	Russian Russia.
	Russia.
	The Russians.
	Russian.
	Russia.
	Russians, Russia.
	Russians, Russian, Russian, Russian, Russian, Russia.
	Russian, Russian, Russian, Russian, Russian, Moscow.
	Russian, Russian, Russia.
	Putin?
	Russian, Russian, Russian, Russia, Russian against us.
	Russians.
	The Russians rush against the U.S. The Russians.
	The Russian government scheme.
	The Russians.
	Vladimir Putin.
	Russia.
	Vladimir Putin.
	Rush Putin.
	Putin and Russia.
	Russia.
	Moscow.
	Russia.
	Russian, Russia.
	Russia.
	The Russians.
	Russians.
	Russians.
	Russia.
	Russia.
	Russian and Russian.
	Russia.
	Russia.
	Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Russia, Russia, Russia and Russia.
	The Soviet Empire.
	The second of the 20th century's great evils, communism.
	Russia.
	Communism.
	Russia.
	Assault by Russia.
	Russia.
	Russia.
	Russia's been Russia.
	Roger Putin despises the West in general and the United States in particular, Soviet Empire.
	Russia.
	Russia.
	They're the adversary.
	They want to bring us down to the Soviet Union.
	Undermine the West.
	Soviet communist communists on the left.
	Russia.
	That doesn't for us tonight.
	We will see you again tomorrow.
	And believe it or not, that program was about Sweden.
	Also, there are no cuts in that segment.
	That was straight through.
	Rachel Maddow watches James Bond movies like their documentaries.
	She's so obsessed with Russia, they filed a restraining order against her.
	And segment.
	Oh, the crowd knows who this is.
	Wow, wow, wow.
	So this is Barry Weiss.
	And she went on the Joe Rogan show.
	And Joe Rogan dismantled her.
	All he had to do was ask, just ask obvious questions, and she melted down, right?
	So here's how she, here's how they're talking about.
	First, we'll start.
	Barry Weiss.
	She's a New York Times columnist, in case you don't know.
	Okay?
	And so here we go.
	Crumb's whole thing was: screw the center.
	I just need to make my base go ape shit crazy for me.
	So now she's going to tell you why we can't have a progressive as the Democratic nominee.
	And it's because of the Trump one, and here's she's going to tell you.
	They're still apeshit crazy.
	And no matter what.
	I know, and I'm worried that the left, the Democrats are going to try and replicate that strategy and be like, we just need to make our base go ape shit crazy.
	Yeah, why would you want to replicate a strategy that won?
	I'm afraid that they're going to do that, and then we'll win.
	And what the hell then?
	I don't know.
	We'll have a goddamn progressive as our fucking president, and then everything's going to go to shit.
	And apparently, the term apeshit crazy means what?
	Enthusiastic?
	Yeah, I put it on the ground.
	We can't have that.
	We can't have that.
	Rather than running someone that can win the center.
	Shut the fuck up.
	Incremental centrism makes me want somebody to win the center.
	Boy, because she thinks a centrist is going to beat Trump and a far-left person wasn't.
	Boy, if only we could run an experiment with a centrist running against Donald Trump only.
	Where would we find such a person?
	You got to get a centrist to get most of the votes.
	And you can repeat that in Ohio and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin and Michigan.
	Well then let me ask you this, how do you propose we keep the status quo?
	laughter
	Good question.
	So it gets worse.
	It gets worse from here.
	By the way, this is Barry.
	I think this is her MSNBC audition tape, by the way.
	Yes.
	Okay, ready?
	So who's in right now?
	So we have Kamala Kristen Gillibrand.
	Oh, monstrous.
	Monstrous.
	Ideas.
	So they, let's start again because she's in.
	So they start to talk about who's running for president on the left.
	And Joe Rogan, who's had Tulsi Gabbard on the show, so he knows what she's about.
	He knows that she, all those things that we all know.
	And so watch how he reacts.
	Right now, so we have Kamala Kristen Gillibrand.
	Oh, monstrous.
	Monstrous.
	Ideas.
	Ideas.
	Well, when she was 22, she had What does that mean?
	She.
	What does that mean?
	Okay.
	I don't know if you heard.
	Joe goes, what does that mean?
	And she says.
	What's a toady?
	I think that I used that word correctly, Jean.
	Don't know.
	When you don't, that's what's called a received opinion.
	Right?
	So that's not her own opinion.
	She's heard other people in her neoliberal bubble say that stuff.
	So she just repeats it.
	She doesn't even know what the insult means.
	She writes for the New York Times.
	Fucking, of course, she does.
	Of course, she writes for the New York Times.
	I'm Barry Weiss.
	I've got strong opinions.
	Wait, will you look that up?
	Just take a second.
	She literally tells so much.
	Can you check what Today means?
	Like toe in the line.
	Is that what it means?
	No, I think it's like a.
	It's trying to say it's a angry toad.
	It's like a CIA talking point.
	I think it's a CIA talk.
	Jamie, is there a word describing somebody who has no point of view of their own or someone just regurgitates views they read on Twitter?
	Oh, you have that?
	Is there a picture of me next to that?
	This gets worse.
	This doesn't get better, by the way.
	It's going to get worse.
	Watch.
	A-D-I-E.
	What does that mean?
	I think it means what I think it means.
	Ah!
	Three times he asked her, what does it mean?
	And she's scratching her head.
	She's chewing her pants.
	So they bring it up.
	She's a sycophant.
	She's a bad person who flatters or defers to others for self-serving reasons.
	A sycophant.
	Yeah.
	So she's an Assad sycophant.
	Is that what you're saying?
	Yeah, that's proof.
	It's proven.
	Say proven.
	Say proven about her.
	What did she say?
	I don't remember the details.
	I've read it.
	She's atrocious.
	A monstrous fuse.
	What are they?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I bet they're pretty bad, though, right?
	Right, Joe, don't you know about it?
	Can you look them up?
	They're horrible, I bet.
	Somebody look them up.
	What the fuck's going on?
	Wait a minute.
	Everybody at the New York Times always agrees with me.
	Say that before we say that about her.
	We should probably read it rather.
	Well, I have read it.
	So, Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan, comedian, Fear Factor host, Joe Rogan, who announces guys fighting in cages, is now schooling the New York Times journalists.
	Ah!
	That's how shitty they are.
	That's how easy it is.
	All my friends ask me, Jimmy, what do you do with the news?
	It's easy.
	This is what I'm up against.
	It's easy.
	Easy.
	So Joe Rogan just asked your, well, maybe we should know what we're saying before we say those things.
	I'm not a journalist, and I just spoke pot, and I'm pretty sure I'm better than you.
	Oh, it gets worse.
	It's not over.
	It gets worse.
	I just should write that.
	Oh, yeah.
	Okay.
	Just so we know what she said.
	Look up Tulsi Gabbert.
	I really enjoy talking to her.
	I like her a lot.
	Are you serious?
	Yeah, I like talking to her.
	Okay.
	I like talking to her.
	I don't know about.
	I think she's like the mother load of bad ideas.
	I'm pretty positive about that.
	You're positive that she's the motherload of bad ideas.
	Do you understand how words work?
	I'm pretty positive.
	The mother load.
	I can't even name one of the loads in the mother load.
	Google mother load.
	Google Tulsi Gabbert mother load.
	Tulsi Gabby Mother.
	Let me Google it.
	Right now, I think she's taking a load in her pants because she didn't expect pushback from Joe Rogan.
	Nobody ever pushes back at the New York Times.
	Everybody just lets me call Tulsi Gabbard a Tony.
	And everyone pats me on the head.
	It says, nice work.
	But maybe I'm wrong.
	Maybe.
	Maybe you're wrong about it.
	Maybe the mother load of bad opinions you just said.
	Maybe I'm wrong about the mother load.
	The fucking mother load.
	How do you say that?
	How do you say that so convincingly?
	Everyone in here is a fucking Russian apologist.
	I think.
	I'm not sure.
	I'm going to.
	Maybe.
	Could you look that up?
	Could you look up?
	Are you guys?
	Could you look up what you are?
	I just said something emphatically.
	I saw 10,000 guys shooting guns the other day.
	Oh, I don't know if I did.
	Maybe I didn't.
	It might have been water balloons.
	Anyway, but you know what I mean.
	Basically, it's the same thing.
	We don't like Tulsi, right?
	I work for the New York Times.
	We've been endorsing coups since 1954.
	We were on the Mosa Deck.
	We were on that.
	New York Times.
	We were for overthrowing him.
	Thank you very much.
	We were on upsetting the Middle East before people even knew there was a Middle East.
	So here it gets worse.
	You think I'm kidding?
	There's more to this.
	Watch this.
	Well, my take on her was that I think as a person who's coming from the left, who's also a veteran and is very articulate and sensible and a woman.
	And in talking to her, we didn't get into Assad or any of those things.
	But talking to her about what she feels is wrong with the current administration and the way things are running and a direction she thinks things can go in.
	She had some very promising ideas.
	I didn't know about this.
	But doesn't she also, did she ever apologize for believing in conversion therapy?
	Oh, so we just moved off your mother load where we left Assad and your mother load.
	And boom, oh my god, she just, oh, you ever get whiplassed when you switch fucking topics that fast?
	I thought we were talking about the Assad mother load.
	What happened to that?
	That's all gone.
	Now, does she ever apologize for this horrible thing that she fucking apologized for a million times that she did when she was a goddamn teenager?
	You mean that?
	Yeah.
	Yes, she did.
	Yeah, she did.
	And her voting record that now has a 100% approval rating from Human Rights Watch, that thing?
	Is that that?
	You mean the biggest LGBT organization in the world?
	You mean that?
	That one?
	Monstrous.
	Oh, no.
	So here we go.
	Here we go.
	I didn't even know she believed in conversion therapy.
	Am I crazy?
	Yes!
	No, no, stupid.
	There's a difference.
	No, you're stupid on purpose.
	And if you were crazy, you wouldn't be worried right now that Joe Rogan is exposing your bullshit.
	Because a crazy person doesn't know they're crazy.
	See, you know you're full of shit.
	That's why you keep using bullshit terms like, I don't know.
	Maybe, am I wrong about that?
	Could I be wrong about that?
	Maybe.
	I'm pretty sure I'm right about that.
	Here we go.
	I'm almost positive this is real.
	I can't stand it.
	Oh my God.
	And Hank, in the cafeteria at the New York Times, they just tell us to say Tody and apologist just to say this.
	I think the sign in the cafeteria of the New York Times says, I'm almost positive this is real.
	And they all tap it like before they go right, like the Notre Dame locker room.
	I'm almost positive this is real.
	And their editor gets them all the room at the beginning of Newsday.
	Let's try to kind of maybe get it right if you can or don't worry about it.
	When you say conversion therapy, you're talking about KPP.
	No, I didn't know that.
	I never heard that.
	I did hear something about when she was very young, she was like 22, she had said something about gay marriage and civil unions that she apologized for.
	Is she promoting her book?
	I'm pretty sure.
	And the subtlest words I've heard.
	Nice.
	It doesn't get better.
	Here we go.
	It's odd in Syria without informing top Democrats.
	Okay, so now the guy who works with Joe Rogan brought up her thing about Syria, and here we go.
	She said she went on a fact-finding mission in support of peace for Syrian people, but characterized U.S.-backed rebels as terrorists.
	You know why?
	Because they're fucking terrorists.
	And we've been arming and funding El News for Al-Qaeda and ISIS and Syria.
	The goddamn CIA admits it in her own fucking paper, but it's on page 68, okay?
	Yeah, so she doesn't know this.
	She doesn't know.
	Barry Weiss has not been told this.
	You know what, Jimmy?
	I just want to say that if anybody wants to smear me, go right ahead as long as my photo looks this great.
	Yeah, no kidding, right?
	Why can't gals smile more?
	Jesus Christ.
	I mean, don't you think most of the world's problems come down to gals just frowning too much?
	There was a time when we'd come home and you'd greet us with a smile and we'd forget about the coup that we just organized.
	Now you got the whole me too and all that BS.
	I don't get it.
	I don't get it.
	You know, my dad used to tell me there's two things gals can never keep low enough.
	They're weight and their voices.
	That is so horrible.
	That's the motherload of horrible things, I think.
	But I'm not, if you could look up what mother loads horrible means.
	Am I crazy?
	All right, here we go.
	Yeah, she's, I mean, she, ah, ah, e, ah.
	Yes, she said something sensible.
	Ah, e.
	So she doesn't know what to do, so now she's going to switch the conversation back again.
	Watch this.
	I can keep looking, but I just have time to research everything.
	all at the same time.
	I can come back on when I know more.
	Okay, but let's...
	I...
	I can come back on when I research my smears of a veteran.
	New title of her book is Read the Next Book.
	It'll have information in it.
	Ha ha ha!
	Read my next book when I come back.
	This said, I told you it didn't get better.
	This another time.
	Okay.
	But who do you think stands out for you as someone that would make a good president?
	Yeah, she once touted working for an anti-gay group that bad conversion therapy.
	Anyway.
	She once touted working for an anti-way.
	I got it.
	I just found something randomly written on the internet and I didn't tell you who it's from, but I'm just reading it off my phone.
	Thank you.
	You're welcome.
	She initially said she never apologized, which Tulsi Gabbers apologized endlessly for that.
	She was a kid.
	She was indoctrinated religiously.
	I was indoctrinated religiously.
	So I have a little sympathy and empathy for people who are also indoctrinated in religion.
	You know, when I was a Catholic schoolboy, I was against abortion.
	I didn't know better.
	And so that's what Tulsi Gabbard went through.
	And now she's a grown-up person who has a perfect rating from every LGBT organization as far as she's been voting for the last six years.
	And so that's why this is the, that's why this is our smears.
	So it's not that you can't criticize Tulsi Gabbard.
	There's everybody can be criticized.
	Bernie can be criticized.
	She can be criticized.
	Even me.
	And so here we go.
	Let's watch the rest of this.
	Watch this.
	Worked for an anti-gay group.
	She worked for them when she had a job there.
	You know, I'm worried.
	As a person who's been called out-right adjacent.
	Joe Rogan is dismantling her.
	Fucking dismantling her in the most polite way I've ever seen someone dismantle someone.
	It's so beautiful.
	Well, here's the thing.
	If he were to be argumentative in the slightest, you know, she'd be like, Joe Rogan, sexist, he attacked me.
	he threw his dick in my face and made me say, mother lode, you know.
	LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Yeah.
	I don't know if there's a word for that gal, but does the word smuggler exist?
	Smugnerant.
	Wow.
	From the Republican congressman, even.
	Smugnarant.
	It was his last campaign slogan, wasn't it?
	laughter
	So here, there's a little bit more left to this.
	Let's see it.
	I'm just looking at it.
	I'm not worried about labels.
	No, I'm not.
	I'm just looking it up.
	I'm just looking it up.
	I don't know why it's me.
	But you know what I mean?
	Rep Tulsi Gabbard in the early 2000s touted working for her father's anti-gay organization, which mobilized to pass the measure against same-sex marriage in Hawaii and promoted controversial conversion therapy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I'm right.
	F-Y-I.
	Just so you know, Joe, so you don't go spouting off bullshit, Joe.
	I'm here to inform you.
	She's the informer.
	Keep in mind, she has moved the goalpost now because initially it was about Assad.
	She abandoned that, moved over to conversion therapy, eventually looked up something that she could say, hey, I found this thing online that says the earth is flat, so that totally means it's right.
	No, yeah, and I think, and Tulsi Gabbard did work for her father, and her father did believe that shit, and she has apologized for it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I just know when she goes back to the New York Times, she's going to say, and then I was telling Joe.
	S-Y-I.
	Yeah, she puts her phone away like it's a gun.
	Do you see it?
	Oh, it's like her, it's like she's doing a mic drop.
	Yes.
	What is conversion therapy?
	Well, what is conversion therapy?
	It's when they try to convert someone who's homosexual into being a heterosexual and they do a bunch of weird shit to them and make them feel bad about themselves.
	Oh, summer camp.
	It's what they did to Mike Pence when he was about 23 years old.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I've been there.
	This show was more fun than I expected.
	I think the crowd feels the same way.
	You guys feel it in the same way?
	You having a good time?
	You having a good time?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Will you accept a long-distance call from the Secretariat of All Energy of the Universe, Rick Perry?
	Yes, I will.
	Thank you.
	And hello, Jimmy.
	This is not really the operator, but it is me or I. Sometimes me call incognito so as to mask my identity from the evildoers.
	Okay, I get it.
	What evildoers, Rick?
	The whole state of Nevada.
	Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
	How do you hear the entire phone call?
	You got to become a premium member.
	Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
	It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
	Today's show was written.
	That's right, it was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Samurano, and Mark Van Landowick.
	I want to thank my special guests on this week's show, Lee Camp from Redacting Tonight, Paul Gilmartin, Graham Elwood, and of course the miserable liberal.
	And everybody in Burbank at the Flappers Comedy Club.
	All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
	That's it for this week.
	You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
	Don't bring up.
	Don't don't bring out.
	Don't bring up.
	Don't don't don't don't dump the thumb up the don't freak out.
	Don't freak out.
	I'm not getting it.
	Don't don't you don't bring out do not freak.
	Don't freak out.
	Do not do not do not freak.
	Do not freak.
	Do not freak out.
	Don't break out.
	Don't bring out.

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