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Jan. 31, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:38
20190131_TJDS_01312019_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello.
Hi, who am I speaking with?
This is Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo.
Secretary of State Pompeo, this is Jimmy Dore.
Are we still doing this?
Yeah, absolutely.
For listeners at home, Mr. Pompeo has agreed to take a truth serum before our phone call.
Did you take the truth, serum, and are you ready?
Just took it.
Tastes like cherry.
Mr. Secretary, I'd like to ask you a few questions about Venezuela.
Absolutely.
Can you tell me about the Trump administration's current approach to the situation in Venezuela?
Certainly.
It is a position of the United States government that the people of Venezuela have not been well served by the illegitimate presidency of Mr. Maduro, and that the new interim president has the backing and support of the United States, and hopefully in the days and weeks to come, the international community as well.
The interim president?
Do you know his name?
No, we hadn't really heard of him, honestly.
In the past few days and weeks, during public comments, I've mumbled an attempt at his name, I think saying something slightly different each time.
No one noticed.
It's Guaido.
Sure.
And why is the U.S. backing him over Maduro, who was legitimately elected by the people of Venezuela?
Jimmy, I don't know if you saw the footage of Mr. Gogo giving a speech where he declared himself president in front of a crowd and then swore himself in as president of Venezuela.
Yeah.
for my own part I saw that and a tear came to my eye witnessing democracy in action in that manner.
laughter laughter laughter Democracy in action.
Yes, but I should probably clarify by democracy, I mean American democracy, and by action, I mean a coup whereby this unknown Yahoo is installed as leader of a foreign country with our backing.
Whoa, what?
Wow, this stuff is really kicking in.
Yes.
Whether by covert CIA action or direct military intervention, I'm not aware at this time.
But it should be clear to everybody that what we are looking at is the early pussy-footing steps towards regime change in Venezuela.
Oil-rich country, adversarial socialist government.
I mean, quite frankly, this should come as a shock to nobody.
I see.
I guess this explains the scribbling we saw on John Bolton's legal pad, 5,000 troops to Colombia.
Absolutely correct.
Many in our armed forces and national security apparatus feel that when these types of operations are undertaken, it behooves us to, quote-unquote, bundle various interventions.
So that is to say, if we are going to intervene in Venezuela, we might as well just go ahead and invade Colombia as well.
Who is advising these actions?
Well, these policies are informed by research undertaken by any number of private think tanks and military consultants, Heritage Foundation, American Enterprise Institute, Knights of the Golden Circle.
The Knights of what?
The Knights of the Golden Circle, which was a secret society in the Confederacy during the Civil War, who planned on completing the conquest of Mexico and then Central America, Cuba, and northern South America, thereby making the entire Caribbean basin an empire of black slavery.
Interest in this idea was revived several decades ago with the discovery of large oil reserves in Venezuela.
Wow, you know, I thought Donald Trump was going to be a non-interventionist type president.
Yeah, well, yeah, I say I'm not going to eat donuts on donut day at the office, but then I do.
Let's be honest, we simply haven't had a U.S. president who issued interventionist policies in decades, if not a century.
It's too enticing, especially when you see that giant map of the world and then throw in a man with absolutely no impulse control.
You know, give me a break.
You know, make no mistake about it.
We are going to war.
Okay, well, thanks.
Thanks, honest Mike Pompeo.
Thanks for taking the truth, Serum.
We learned a lot today.
So when does this wear off?
I have a press conference in about two hours, and I need to lie.
The serum?
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid it's permanent.
Well, son of a bitch, you got me.
But talk to you soon, pal.
Okay, bye.
Oh, and aliens are at Wright Air Force Base in Ohio, not Area 51.
Hillary Clinton tried to have Julian Assange poisoned, and I am having an affair with Kirsten Nielsen, and she's into freaky whipped cream stuff.
Boy, that serum's really effective.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for people that are comments maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore Show.
Next one in California is Burbank.
May 3rd, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all our shows and tickets.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, this just in breaking Bob Shell.
You heard it here first.
Sources close to Hillary Clinton say she's leaving open the possibility of giving Donald Trump another four years in office.
Hey, this Kamala Harris campaign is really picking up steam now, isn't it?
It's only been a week, and already her supporters are saying Bernie Sanders isn't a real Democrat.
I don't know if you heard, but during a White House press briefing meant to detail new sanctions on Venezuela, John Bolton was seen holding a yellow legal pad reading, quote, 5,000 troops to Colombia, end quote.
And you know, it was serious because it was under the heading, dumb war crimes I got to do this week.
You know, FYI, Democrats wouldn't have to worry about election spoilers if their party wasn't so rotten.
You know, that this country would ever allow billionaires to exist, let alone run for elected office, is testament to what a complete fraud our democracy.
Oh, can I get a medium dark roast, please?
Hey, I decided to unvaccinate myself because I've had it with all you polio haters.
I don't know.
That's a dumb joke.
Hey, I don't care what anyone says.
Howard Schultz's experience with coffee makes him more than qualified for some presidential runs.
Am I right?
Come on.
That's a coffee.
Come on.
That's a coffee joke.
Come on.
What's coming up on today's show?
We're going to debunk all the Venezuelan propaganda you've been hearing everywhere.
It's ubiquitous, but Duro's a bad guy, and we got to go save some people.
We actually talked with Abby Martin and Mike Preisner, Abby Martin from Empire Files, and Mike Preisner from Eyes Left Podcast, who have actually done journalism and been to Venezuela, and they're here to report back and correct all the inaccuracies being spewed by the corporate media.
Plus, we're going to hear from a reporter actually on the ground in Venezuela.
And what he says is happening in Venezuela just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, we got phone calls today from Mike Pompeo.
CIA chief Mike Pompeo takes truth serum and calls into our show.
Plus, Mitt Romney calls in Jeb Bush and Chucky the Shoom, master of the Senate, Chuck Schumer.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Door show.
I'm here.
We have special guests here from Eyes Left Podcast.
It is Mike Preisner.
And from Empire Files, it is Abby Martin.
Thanks for being here.
What's up?
Fantastic.
Well, Venezuela is what's happening.
It is.
And that's why we brought in our experts.
So I want to show you a video I got from, I found from Trump.
And he's actually going to explain.
He didn't mean to, but he's going to explain what's going on.
Can't wait.
And so let's see if this works.
Can you put it up a little?
They're going to end up taking over the country eventually, but the people will appreciate it and they should pay us back.
But we have to go in to save these lives.
We should do on a humanitarian basis, immediately go into Libya, knock this guy out very quickly, very surgically, very effectively, and save the lives.
After it's all done, we go to the protesters who end up running the country.
They're going to like us a lot better than they will if we don't do it.
More importantly, we're going to save lives.
And we should then say, by the way, from all of your oil, we want reimbursement.
We should have said, we'll help you, but we want 50% of your oil.
They would have absolutely said, okay, 100%.
In fact, they would have said, how about 75%?
So, and isn't it sad?
We could have had anything we wanted.
We could have had 50% of those oil fields.
You know, the old days when you had a war, it's to the victor belong the spoils.
So we could have had something special.
When the so-called rebels came to us, we should have said, fellas, we're going to help you.
We want 50% of your oil.
They would have said, thank you very much.
We have a deal.
Write it down.
Sign it.
We have a deal.
We would have been a rich nation again.
They have tremendous oil reserves in Libya.
Instead, we help.
We get nothing.
We're very, very foolishly led.
So I don't know what you hear when you hear that, but what I hear is he thinks it's totally cool, as does the rest of the Western world.
Think it's totally cool for the United States military to go into a sovereign country, overthrow it if it's rich with oil.
And then we just, whoever is against the people who are in power now that we overthrow, we make a deal with those people for half their oil.
What do you think is going on in Venezuela right now?
Let me throw it over to Abby Martin and Mike Preisner.
Now, you were just down in Venezuela, and you have a lot of knowledge about Venezuela that other people don't have.
So am I right?
That's what's happening.
Yeah, and we just heard Trump comment on Syria saying there's nothing but sand and death in Syria's deserts.
So that he made that pretty clear.
He's also made several comments about how he heard from people who were smarter than him about why they were going into Iraq.
And he said, oh, it's about the oil.
I get it.
I get it.
He said, but that's what Bush did wrong is he didn't take the oil.
And he's even, you know, in an interview with Anderson Cooper, and he's like, excuse me, excuse me.
You see how fast they put up rigs there?
He's like, they'll do a hell of a job.
We'll just set up those rigs real quick and take the oil.
I mean, he's made that crystal clear in all of his talks that that is his goal is to take the natural resources, pillage, and plunder these markets.
And that's exactly what's going on in Venezuela.
Again, I want to remind your audience, Venezuela has the number one oil reserves in the world.
Northern Saudi Arabia.
Oil reserves.
And in fact, this so-called new president, Guyado, he's actually produced their kind of interim new constitution and plan for moving the country forward.
And the number one thing it does, just like the coup in 2002, is immediate privatization of the oil.
I mean, they're open about what they want to do really at the offset.
And so also what people don't realize is that a lot of what happened to Venezuela's economy is that Saudi Arabia started overproducing oil and still is to drive down the price of oil.
Now it's at like $28 a barrel.
It was over $100.
And they're doing this on purpose to bankrupt Venezuela.
And then the United States placed sanctions on Venezuela.
What does that mean?
Well, they made it illegal for Venezuela to get a loan.
So now they can't even finance their oil extraction and production because they're not even allowed to get a loan from the United States.
That's one of the things that's being done to them.
So do you see how this happens?
And then you go, oh, now the people are revolting.
I wonder why.
I wonder why.
You're bankrupting their goddamn country every which way possible on purpose.
Why?
Because it's got oil and you want to get your grubby fingers on it.
That's what this is about.
That's what this is about.
Yeah.
And this, and what's really happening is a U.S.-backed coup, an illegal criminal coup imposed by the Trump administration.
And this is absolutely proven to be a fact.
Dressed in constitutional garb.
It's actually, they're using the Constitution.
These are the same people who just tried to blow up Maduro on stage at a live televised press conference just weeks ago.
Yeah, what law-abiding constitutionalists they are.
They just tried to actually assassinate the sitting president.
And now they're using the Constitution.
It's quite fascinating.
But what's really happening is they are violating the Constitution.
The Constitution clearly is what Maduro and his entire cabinet are working within.
The National Assembly is kind of a rogue body that the opposition won an election, took control of the National Assembly, another body of government.
And since then, they've kind of seized the entire legislature.
They refused to pass bills.
They've tried to tank Venezuela's government economy because they've been collaborating with the U.S. Empire and the corporations and oligarchs within Venezuela that actually still control a large percent of the economy.
People pretend it's a socialized nation, that everything's nationalized.
No, most of the food and paper products, hmm, and that's what we hear about.
They don't have toilet paper.
Right.
Food is, you know, mass shortages of food.
Who controls those modes of production?
Oligarchs, corporations that are still privately owned, and all of the CEOs of those corporations are anti-Maduro, pro-U.S.
oligarchs who are working hand in glove with the Trump administration.
So this guy, Juan Guiado, no one knows who the fuck this guy is.
And he's never been elected.
He's not elected president.
It's like China imposing Nancy Pelosi as president.
Most people know who Nancy Pelosi is.
They pulled Venezuelans.
81% of Venezuelans had never heard of the guy, never heard of him.
So when they saw him announce that he was president, they're like, who's that?
I've literally never seen him.
And so let me guess who this guy is.
And I guess you know who he is.
So let me guess.
All right, because I don't know who he is, but I'm going to guess.
He was educated in America.
George Washington University.
Ivy League maybe.
And he's working for the CIA.
Okay.
Ding, dang, ding.
And guess what the mascot to his school in DC was called?
The colonials.
Oh.
I mean, can't make it up.
Oh, my.
You cannot make this up.
I mean, he's from this party called the Popular Will Party, which is founded by Leopoldo Lopez, who tried to seize power before 2002.
He was Harvard-educated.
So like all of these opposition leaders, they're obviously from an elite sector in Venezuela.
In fact, educated and trained at the Ivy League schools, the same people that train our corrupt elite politicians.
But yeah, so it's like, but the main.
Are you shocked at how American America is going along with it?
I mean, unbelievable.
I can't get not only are they going along with it, but if you stand up against it and call it for what it is, that you get called a Russian immediately.
They did it to Rokana.
They did it to Minnesota's fifth.
I forget her name.
Helen Omar.
Helen Omar.
And so they're doing it again.
It's pretty disturbing just because Russia backed Maduro.
Even the New York Times had the audacity to gaslight us and say, Russia alleges that this is a U.S.-backed coup.
It's like, no, that's the reality.
This is not a Russian talking point.
And well, my whole thing is I thought they've convinced me that Trump is a Russian puppet.
So Trump is for the overthrow.
Russia's against it.
How could he be a puppet?
So either way, you're a Russian on this one.
Either way, you're a Russian.
If you go with Trump, you're a Putin puppet because he's a Putin puppet.
If you go with Russia, you're a Russian puppet because you're a Russian puppet.
This is what's going on.
This is what's happening, okay?
This is another siege of an oil-rich nation that the neoliberal establishment wanted to take over.
That's it.
It's a complete mess.
Other than North Korea.
Oh, yeah.
Let me ask you, because someone was asking me last night.
And they keep saying, yeah, but Maduro's not a good guy.
He jails his journalists and things like that.
Is this true?
Okay, so this is grossly overblown.
And every time that they say, oh, the opposition couldn't run in elections because they keep getting jailed.
Well, it's odd that every single opposition leader who has been jailed and arrested has been involved in a coup plot to overthrow the government.
And trying to kill Maduro.
Like one of the candidates that they complain, oh, he wasn't allowed to run in the presidential election in 2018, therefore it's invalid.
He was involved in a plot to assassinate Maduro.
So I feel like in the United States, if you're involved in a plot to kill the sitting president, you know, not only do you go to jail, but you actually can also run in the election.
I don't know.
I'd like to look that up.
I'd like to get some clarification.
There might be some precedence here.
I don't know.
Look, it's the country where you can say anything about.
I think that North Korea is probably the country that you can really make up anything about and people will just blindly believe it because it's so closed off and you can't like validate these things.
But Venezuela is pretty much the second country in the world that you can say fucking anything about and people will just lap it up.
I've had people telling me the last three days people are breaking into zoos, stealing animals to eat, eating their pets, eating rats.
I mean, it's unbelievably dishonest, this wall-to-wall pro-coup propaganda that we're seeing, and not just from the corporate media, from the quote-unquote progressive media, from quote-unquote socialists.
I mean, it is pretty sick.
You got to denounce Maduro.
We got to do something, right?
What the F is that about?
We've got to do something.
How about we got to denounce Trump?
And we got to denounce George Bush.
And then we got to denounce Dick Cheney.
And then we got to denounce what the fuck we're doing everywhere.
If this was about a starving nation, we should be invading Haiti and we should be invading Yemen.
Right.
Because Haiti is by far the most impoverished nation in that entire region.
Venezuela is nowhere near.
Oh, yeah, again.
It's nowhere near that.
I just saw a UN official on Democracy Now saying, yeah, he went and spoke to all the NGOs, went to investigate the quote-unquote humanitarian crisis there.
And not to say that millions of people are not fleeing.
That is absolutely happening.
There are millions of people in the street calling to ouster Maduro.
That is a fact.
What is not being shown in the corporate media is the millions of people who are pro-Maduro, the six, seven million strong in a country of 20 million eligible voters that are Chavistas, that are the bloc that support him and support the Bolivarian Revolution and movement and all the social gains that have been construed and constructed since Chavez's victory.
Yeah, and I did want to say one more thing about the journalist claim that journalists are being jailed.
I mean, we investigated that ourselves.
We actually have a short video on Empire Files about it where we go to every newsstand, right?
The claim is that anti-government media is shut down and journalists are jailed.
Well, we tested that.
We went to every newsstand we could find, bought every single newspaper that you could buy on the shelves, and we went through every single one.
And like 80% of them were like not only anti-government newspapers, but had headlines like Trump must take care of Maduro.
Like the headline of the paper saying, Trump, come and invade and take out the president.
That's like freely open and operating.
And like 90% of the television stations that people see in Venezuela are anti-government television stations.
So it's the pro-government media that's extremely marginalized in the country, but also targeted by violence by the opposition.
No anti-government media is being targeted by Chavez or by the government.
In fact, the opposite was true.
We, as we talked about on your show before, we had to leave the country because we were being threatened with assassination by people there, threatened with being burned alive, things like that.
Pro-government journalists, they doused with gasoline and almost set him on fire and killed him, but he escaped.
One of our colleagues at Telesur, their whole team was pinned down by gunfire and explosives by opposition protesters.
And the last coup plot that was uncovered in like 2017 or something, the main thing that they were going to do was bomb the Telesur headquarters, this major pro-government or government-owned state-owned news station in Venezuela.
So it's the opposition that's the one that wants to destroy pro-government outlets, just like they did in 2002.
When they launched that coup in 2002, which there's similar things happening today, where they launched that coup by having opposition snipers on a rooftop when there was an opposition protest and a pro-government protest, they killed people on both sides.
They're very good at killing people in their own demonstrations, just as they are people in the anti-government demonstrations.
And then when they launched the coup and they kidnapped Chavez and arrested his entire cabinet and announced that there is this new government, they went to every media station and made them show like cooking shows.
Like they would refuse to let any news outlet even report that a coup had happened.
So this is their trading true tactic.
So if people are concerned about press freedom in Venezuela, you got to be very wary of the opposition here.
Oh, wow, that's some good information.
And if people are concerned about democracy in Venezuela, you should be supporting the fact that they have free and fair elections that have been validated by hundreds of international observers.
It was the opposition that asked the UN to not come and observe the elections because they were working with Trump.
Trump begged the opposition to not run because then when you don't run in the elections, then you can discredit them and say, look, we can't run in the elections.
And Maduro just ran unopposed and he's a dictator.
That didn't work because an opposition member actually ended up running.
So Trump tried to restrate here.
Now, we have to look at this in the context of obviously the U.S.'s Role in regime change in Venezuela for a long time.
Obama exacerbated that.
He called Venezuela a unique national security threat in 2015, slapped, I think, six or seven sanctions on them.
Trump, on the other hand, is reinstalling the Monroe doctrine from the Reagan era.
I mean, he is basically, he just appointed Elliot Abrams.
This is the guy who oversaw death squads.
Wasn't he a criminal?
He fucking was in jail.
He was pardoned by George H.W. Bush and he leaves the wrong contrast shit.
Doesn't that go on your record even if he get parted?
That doesn't get expunged from your rights' record.
He was instrumental in the coup in 2002.
He oversaw the regime change in El Salvador and Nicaragua that, or was it Nicaragua?
Anyway, it caused tens of thousands of deaths, torture.
I mean, the worst death squads in that era.
And he is basically appointed to oversee this new regime change operation.
But, you know, Trump slapped 63 new sanctions on Venezuela, John Bolton's rhetoric about the Troika of tyranny.
And then we've come to find out in corporate media at that Washington Post just wrote an article basically laying out, first of all, gaslighting us.
Oh, it's not a coup.
It's democratic and constitutional.
But then in the same article, they talk about how Trump's cabinet tried to, first, they tried to do this.
They tried to convince the Venezuelan people that Maduro wasn't legitimate.
When that didn't work, they were just waiting for someone like Wiado to carry out the final stages of the coup.
It's actually laid out in the Washington Post.
It's very fascinating how they just admitted it.
And, you know, we already know that they would not have done this without the green light from Trump because they need the legitimacy and backing of the U.S. government and its proxy regime change fronts, the Organization of American States, the Lima Group, all of those entities to really carry this out.
But luckily, Russia, India, Mexico, they're not going along with it.
Yeah, luckily.
So again, so if you were wondering what's happening in Venezuela, you're being hoodwinked again by the neoliberals and the bankers and people like this who think it's our sovereign our right to go into a sovereign country and steal their natural resources as long as we make a deal with some of the people there.
So that's what's happening.
And so please stop watching MSNBC and CNN if you want to know what's going on about this stuff.
You should watch them if you want to find out what the latest smears are on progressives.
That's when you go to MSNBC and CNN.
And I also want to, people keep, this keeps coming up with all these things.
Like, I remember Libya.
They go, first of all, I remember Iraq.
They go, oh, Saddam's a bad guy.
He's got rape rooms.
He's got, so he's a bad.
So you can't say he's not.
So if he's a bad guy, we're supposed to go in.
Qaddafi, Qaddafi's a bad guy.
He's oppressing his people.
Women can't, we got to go in.
Assad, Assad's a bad guy.
You got to admit, he's a bad guy, right?
He's a bad guy.
Putin, Putin's a bad guy.
This is the argument that people, whenever you're convinced by Western media that another leader of another country is a bad guy, be fucking suspicious of that.
Because the worst guy in the world is whoever is running our country.
Okay?
The worst guy in the fucking world.
They go.
So I've had people say, well, Putin kills the journalist.
He doesn't like him.
Now who's being naive, Kay?
Look what we did to Chelsea Manning.
We tortured in public.
Everyone knew it was happening.
Everyone knew that Barack Obama was torturing Chelsea Manning and no one gave a fucking shit about it.
And what did Chelsea Manning do?
Revealed war crimes of our goddamn government.
That's the punishment you get for that.
So this idea that there's a bad, that somehow someone's a good guy or a bad guy leader of a country, that that makes a bit of a fucking difference about what I'm supposed to think about what we're supposed to do with that country.
You've been propagandized.
If you hear yourself saying shit like that, oh, Putin's not a good guy.
Putin's a bad.
Putin's a thug.
Oh, Assad's a bad guy.
Assad's a thug.
Oh, but Maduro's a bad guy.
He's a thug.
You've been propagandized because there's never a bigger fucking dick in the world than whoever running this goddamn country at any given moment.
The biggest terrorist program in the world is our fucking drone program.
Okay?
We just set the Middle East on fucking fire.
But, you know, guys like, there's lots of guys out there who tell you that other people are worse than us.
So anyway, I just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah.
Well, the other thing, too, that's just so hilarious about how this bad guy.
Well, Pinochet was a bad guy who we put in power, the Shah of Iran.
Like, this is all we've ever done is gone, oh, democratically elected government doesn't want to give us their resources.
Oh, there's going to be a fucking CIA coup.
You're out.
And the person we put in there is always worse.
Yes.
We always seem to forget that when we're talking about all the bad guys, like unfucking real, what we've done.
Always worse, no matter when we intervene.
So go ahead.
Yeah.
And I do want to say that it's, you know, like you have, we have to respect the right of the Venezuelan people to choose who their leader is.
That's exactly what's going on.
And it's not for us to judge.
I mean, to be in America, the imperialist core of the world, and to say a developing country that's been ravaged by colonism for hundreds of years, that the guy they picked is the wrong guy.
Like, we don't know.
We're not there.
We're not actually part of their day-to-day democracy.
But that's the thing with Maduro, too, where it is true that even when the Iraq war was starting, that's a trap they try to get you.
And if they were any interview on mainstream media, the first question would they ask was, well, you know, Saddam's bad, right?
And then even if you're against the war, you have to say, well, yeah, he's bad, but we shouldn't do this.
And then the argument becomes about, well, what do you do?
So it was right then to just flatly reject that and say, I'm not going to say that's up for Iraq to decide if he's bad or good.
It's not up to me.
But here with Maduro, it is a little different because Maduro does have a much larger base of support than any of these other people that we mentioned in the Middle East did.
Do have a much richer and more flourishing democracy than any of these other countries.
And is actually an extremely progressive guy, you know, like wanting the things that like Bernie Sanders are fighting for, like a healthcare for all, education for all.
These are the ideas and the programs of this government.
But the important thing to remember is that Maduro is like not a figure like Chavez, who's just, it's all, it's like about him, right?
Where it's like he's this hero and like it's he's making all the decisions with a small cabal.
I mean, the democracy that we witness in Venezuela, Maduro is a figurehead that was selected by a mass movement that's incredibly politically active.
Like if you drive around Venezuela, everywhere you go in Travista areas, right?
So in the countryside and in the cities, you see like a mass meeting of like 200 people like under an overpass having a political meeting debating what changes they're going to put into the economy.
I mean, to see democracy at a grassroots level, we can't just look at, oh, Maduro's making bad decisions is this guy.
The entire country that wants to be involved in decision making is involved in decision making, debating it, how it's going to be executed and actually carrying it out.
So they kind of, when you say Maduro is bad, but we shouldn't overthrow the country, you're talking about millions of people that are involved in this political process.
You're not just talking about Maduro.
You're talking about a mass movement of poor people, predominantly poor people, indigenous, Afro-Venezuelan people.
That's who you're saying is bad when you say Maduro is bad.
And so that's what the opposition means also.
When the opposition says Maduro has to go, they don't just mean Maduro has to go.
They don't even just mean Maduro and his cabinet has to go.
They mean that they want to disappear from the political map, these millions of people who support Maduro and support the Bolivarian revolution.
That's who they want to push away.
And that is fascism, to say that the most popular, largest political force in the country, the Chavista movement, which say Maduro only has 30% of the support in the country.
There's not a single party or individual that has 30% of support in the country.
That's a large number.
that's millions and millions of people, that is unparalleled in the entire country.
And so that's why the very dangerous thing here that people have to worry about is if this coup actually goes through, the U.S. uses whatever kind of military action, whether it's through its fascist collaborators in Colombia or Brazil to do it, whether it's their own military.
The only way that they can actually hold power and take it away from this mass movement of people, you know, millions and millions of people, is through imposing like a fascist-style dictatorship like we saw under Pinochet and Chile.
They can't rule by any other way because they're the minority.
They're hated.
I mean, they're hated much more than, you know, supposedly Madero is hated.
And one last comment is that before Chavez, the reason why Chavez won with such, you know, rambunctious support and millions of people behind him in the streets and caused this revolution in the first place is because the regime that was installed before Chavez, this U.S. puppet regime, Rafael Caldera, I think, there were thousands of people being massacred in the street.
Inflation was already the highest in Latin America.
Unemployment was through the roof and abject poverty was abysmal.
And so you look at, you know, people are using those arguments now, which is quite funny because that's literally how it was when the U.S. puppet was in there before.
And not to say that there isn't a crisis in Venezuela.
People like to construe what we're saying now by saying, oh, you're saying my own eyes are lying to me.
These people aren't fleeing because of this and that.
No, obviously there's a crisis.
The problem is you are only hearing one side of what is going on.
And there is an entire other side that millions of Venezuelans will tell you themselves that there is an economic war being perpetrated by the U.S. government and the oligarchs in the country that are exacerbating the crisis much more than it has to be.
And that's why you see, you know, anyone who's honest about Venezuela will be honest about the fact that there's not just some general shortage of food where people are digging through trash eating.
There's a general shortage of certain products.
And when you understand who's, you know, producing those products, it becomes a little bit more clear that it's more complicated than what the corporate media is painting.
So I just encourage people again, that UN guy who went and investigated the claims himself, he said there is no humanitarian crisis.
Not to say there isn't a crisis, but there's no mass starvation.
It's a crisis that's blown out of proportion to foment this kind of international outreach.
And that's the truth.
And we were there with our own eyes.
And my question is: CNN goes there.
They saw what we saw.
Why the fuck are they lying about this?
Why do you think?
Because they're elitist media protecting their own class.
Yes, I agree.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com, clicking on join premium.
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Hey, Chuck Schuber's on the line.
Hello.
Well, hello, young man, and you are welcome.
For I am Schumer, Chuck, master of shutting down the shutdown.
Now, now, now, but I thought Democrats crowned Nancy Pelosi, master legislator, as queen of shutting down the shutdown.
Okay, can we get one thing straight?
I get the word master.
She just gets the word astute.
Okay.
She's the astute whatever, while I am the master of the Senate.
Not to take anything away from the speaker.
I give all the credit in the world to Speaker Pelosi.
But what?
But I was there first.
Where is there?
In the belly of the beast, I walked right up to Mitch McConnell, and you know what I said?
No, tell us, Chuck.
I said, You doing anything this weekend?
Me and the wife were thinking of the Metier on the 7th again.
Their poached pineapple upside down cake is to die for.
And the chef there has a relationship with Seared Bluefin Toro that will simply delight.
What with his buttered jure, hominy, cilantro, tamarind broth?
But nothing too spicy.
My GRD's been acting up again.
Wow.
It sounds like you really put your foot down.
Did I ever?
No more subpar four-star restaurants for me, Mr. Fella.
I need real nourishment to master the Senate.
And Speaker Pelosi?
Okay, I'll admit it.
She deserves a steak.
Nay, a top-notch tenderloin.
For we are great leaders.
Only we could stand up to someone like that.
It took superhuman strength to offer Donald Trump $1.6 billion.
And we did it.
Yes, the two of us.
Was it really that hard to do, Chuck?
A mere mortal such as you, looking in from the outside, can never know the hardships we endured to reach this point.
You have no concept how much power and intellect it takes to stand up to a complete network.
I have spent so you and Pelosi are taking credit for ending the shutdown.
I mean, what about those FAA employees who risked their jobs by calling in sick and forcing a slowdown?
Oh, we're going to crack down on these lollygaggers.
I am going to set up a committee to investigate these hoodlums.
Because of them, the wall was not part of the deal to open up the government.
Mercy, land sakes.
So you still want to give him $1.6 billion for his idiotic wall?
Jimmy, I never go back on an offer.
It goes against process.
And that money is not for a wall, okay?
Oh, then what's it for?
Enhanced barrier techniques.
Enhanced barrier techniques?
The word wall is too rude.
In this age of instant accountability, we simply must prepare for 2020 by battling the greatest threat to democracy since Pearl Harbor.
And that is what?
Incivility.
We must stop once and for all this rude trolling by these SDR bros, these Martin Luther King bots, these Malcolm X brains.
I plan on introducing a bill that will ensure we never have another shutdown again.
Ensure?
How?
By caving at every possible opportunity in a civil process respecting manner.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment for a squirrel to bury some acorns in my skull.
*laughter*
Well, here's another journalist who doesn't work for CNN, who's actually in Venezuela right now.
And he was on RT, and this is his report.
Listen to what, listen to what, how, so it sounds like people are breaking in the zoos, eating animals.
It sounds like just like unbelievable pandemonium down there.
Well, this guy, let's listen to what, here he is.
Let's listen to what he actually says is happening.
Right now, Juan Waido is speaking in the east of the city among supporters, once again calling on the military to overthrow Maduro, as well as making other announcements.
Meanwhile, life continues as normal in most parts of the city.
Businesses are open.
People are buying things.
People are going about their business without any real interruptions, although, you know, as if nothing had happened the past three days, despite the violence that we've seen the past few nights.
Wow, so it sounds like crazy down there.
Yeah, it's totally nuts, right?
Totally nuts.
Yeah.
So that's a different perspective you're not hearing on MSNBC or CNN.
Yeah, and the New York Times or the Washington Post.
People tell me all the time, they're like, well, what should we do?
You know, like we see millions of people marching in the streets.
Like, it's like showing the women's march.
Right.
And then saying, okay, so Nancy Pelos is going to be president and China is going to come with their military.
And you guys support that, right?
Because look at these people.
They're protesting.
So we got to do something.
I mean, it's just, it's comical.
How can we not learn from what we've done a million times?
Well, it's amazing.
I can see the government and the people who want to do coups because they're disingenuous.
But regular people are so easily fucking fooled every fucking time.
Look what he just said about Libya.
That we went and did Syria.
Now we're going to do fucking Venezuela.
What the fuck?
Every fucking time.
It's not even a new story.
It's in the same thing.
Like the next set.
They don't even hear their own sentence like Russia interfered with our election.
So we better go interfere with Venezuela.
They don't even understand.
You just said it.
Yeah, this is different.
How?
Russia did it with what?
That $4,700 in ads they bought on Google?
Is that their high-speed dildo ads?
Well, that's why I switched.
That's why I switched.
I switched.
I was going to go Hillary and then I saw that Trump dildo.
I was like, so here's a little more from our friend down in Venezuela.
Well, Juan Waido was speaking to an opposition march in the east of the city, in the middle-class eastern part of the city, when he made this self-swear, he self-swore himself in as president of Venezuela.
Of course, the reaction.
It's pretty ballsy.
Only the CIA has that kind of stones.
And guess what?
I'm the new president.
They know.
It's just unreal.
I'm president though.
Who said I did?
I did.
They say Alex Jones is crazy.
I'm the president now.
What?
Don't worry about it.
Who said?
Mike Pompeo.
Among his supporters was jubilant and enthusiastic, though they're, you know, among the six million people who voted for President Nicolas Maduro.
Evidently, there is a sense of rejection and confusion of how this previously unknown figure who was just elected by the National Assembly on the 5th of January and was unknown to the country beforehand, who won 97,000 votes in 2015, but has not otherwise won an election, is now the president of the country.
And these people, the Chavistas, this large block of the population, obviously rejects Huaido and his pronouncement.
It's important to note that after his announcement, Waido literally disappeared and was not seen in public until today when he's giving his press conference.
Wow.
Oh my God.
I love it.
It's like watching Goodfellow.
You know what I mean?
Like, hey, you insulted him a little bit.
You know, and then the guy disappeared, went on a trip.
Just blowing the line.
I'm not making mention.
And it's like as if all of a sudden, it's like all of a sudden I declare Casio-Cortez as president.
And then she went and swore herself in.
I'm the president now.
That's it.
Everybody deal with it.
And then Facebook switched it from Trump to Casio-Cortez.
Because Facebook switched it immediately.
And Instagram.
Isn't that amazing?
Twitter.
There's leadership between the government and Facebook.
The government is, Facebook is the government.
Yes.
So let's see what else this guy says.
Which is a strange behavior for someone who is now supposedly the president of the country.
Great leadership.
Yeah.
I'm the leader of Guy Gadzo's height.
So, but the U.S. coup is not going as planned.
It's not going as planned down there, right?
So he's going to tell us.
It's really important to note that things are not going to plan as Washington had foresaw it.
Really, this coup, as we're seeing in progress, has hit roadblocks.
I mean, as is indicated by the fact that you did not have the massive unanimous international response they were going for.
You have countries like Mexico and Uruguay calling to mediate.
You have the armed force.
And most importantly, the armed forces, despite how many times Juan Waido calls on them to overthrow Maduro, remain with the constitutionally elected president.
And that is a key factor in maintaining this government.
So the fact that Juan Laido, Mike Pompeo, backtracked on his initial refusal to withdraw U.S. diplomatic personnel and are now withdrawing some of them.
That's a huge change in U.S. policy.
And clearly there is chaos in Washington with regard to what is the next move on the ground because they clearly are unable to unseat Maduro at this time.
Nicolas?
Jeez.
That's good news, right?
I mean, it's good.
I guess that's what happens when you have a self-sworn-in president, just Irish goodbyes himself out of the country.
President Ghost.
There's a little bit more, I think, he guessed.
Mauro, though extremely unpopular, does have a solid floor, around 30% of the population.
He is unpopular, but the opposition is equally or more unpopular than Maduro.
It's important.
So that's the thing.
So yes, Maduro is people's lives are hard right now.
So the government is unpopular, except he's more popular than anybody else, right?
There's no one more popular than him, like as you were saying, and he's going to explain it more.
A data analysis, which is an opposition-aligned pollster, released a poll in October, which showed that the National Assembly, who is now headed by Juan Guaido, has a 70% disapproval rating.
Opposition parties have disapproval ratings of up to 80%.
So the majority of the Venezuelan public may reject Maduro, but they equally represent a largely ineffectual, U.S.-backed opposition leadership, which they not only perceive as incapable of really bringing about real change, but not actually having their interests at heart, given that most of these leaders are, you know, as Juan Waido, educated in elite universities.
Juan Luaido was at George Washington University.
He also studied at the neoliberal IESA think tank with the home of Venezuela Chicago boys.
These people are not, they have not been to the barrios.
They're not in touch with people's ordinary problems.
And that's why this same poll showed that 86% of Venezuelans say that the number one issue is either the economy or social issues like crime, access to social services.
So the issue is not necessarily overthrowing the government because they don't view that as resolving those issues.
Though they definitely, there is immense discontent and dissatisfaction with the leadership of Nicolas Maduro.
So that's a little different, huh?
I mean, that's you don't, yeah, you don't, the other side of the story is, yeah, the people who want to overthrow him even more unpopular than he is.
Yep.
And go ahead.
Yeah, and you know, he mentioned that.
You know, the opposition politicians, they're not in touch with working and poor people in Venezuela, which is the country, right?
And that's also who we are never allowed to hear in corporate media.
You know, you only hear the voices of these elite people who went to school in the United States or people that are kind of, you know, like the PR interviews.
But you never hear from working class Venezuelans who support the government.
You're only onto your website.
And more than that is that that day that the coup was declared, right?
All the mass media in the United States, all the U.S. media showed this massive opposition demonstration where this guy took his oath of office.
None of them showed that the exact same day, not far from there, there was a pro-government demonstration that was literally the exact same size.
Like they were like the same size, these two demonstrations.
They deliberately don't show you the one and the voices of the People the other one, because there's like a motive there.
You only do that if you have like a deliberate plan for this, to be like actually the media being an arm of the Pentagon to say, Pentagon's like, we're going ahead with this coup, get to work showing our rationale for the coup.
I have to say, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to say, after listening to this conversation, I think like what I'm walking away with is that we should invade Venezuela.
Yes, yes, yes.
You get it.
You get it.
Yeah, Gyadov sent us a formal letter to Washington demanding immediate humanitarian aid to help his government and asked for a ship to come help with humanitarian aid.
What kind of humanitarian ships does the U.S. have?
It's only Navy vessels that are the only ships that we can send full of humanitarian aid.
So he's officially requesting military support.
So the invasion is on the table.
And Trump has been very clear that it is on the stage.
Well, Trump has wanted to invade for quite a while.
And right when this came up, according to reports that I read, he was like, why don't we just invade?
And they're like, first you have to get create unrest in the country.
There's a process to this.
First you have to get Saudi Arabia to cut the then you have to put sanctions on then you have to fuck stuff up then you have to get a puppet of us who went to college here who's probably connected with Thor Helveson somehow and then that's how this is how it takes a little bit longer but your instinct is right that's what they're telling Donald Trump your instinct is right we're gonna overthrow him for sure right and send one of those humanitarian aid aircraft carriers down right off the street get a little no-fly zone going on just to um but one last comment is that the u.s has been paying tens
of millions of dollars to the opposition since the election of Hugo Chavez in 1999.
And we have to understand where that money has been going.
It's been going to training and fomenting the opposition, right?
These kind of Guarimba, the more violent fascistic wing of the opposition protests that we were in the middle of, who actually just killed and burned the body of another pro-government protester just yesterday, which is really horrifying.
But we have to also kind of question what we're seeing online, because a lot of Venezuelans who are present in America, we know what kind of Venezuelans and Cuban exiles live in Miami.
So the Venezuelans who are in America and the Venezuelans who are very prominent on social media do not represent the Venezuelans who we are talking about, which are more poor working class.
Again, when's the last time you saw an Afro-Venezuelan being interviewed?
And some of these regions that we went to, it was all Afro-Venezuelans, which was pretty shocking because I literally only saw white Venezuelans before.
So there is a very visceral class dynamic to this.
And we just have to kind of question what we're seeing because again, where does that money go?
A lot of it's going to correct the record online.
And we don't know what's real and what's not when we see kind of, I'm Venezuelan, I live this every day, I'm eating rats.
It's like, I don't...
I know, I know.
I'm always suspicious of those people.
So there's a little bit more from this gentleman.
Mostly from the basis of Chavismo, both those who continue to support Nicolas Maduro, but those who historically voted for Hugo Chavez, which is the majority of the population, this majority of the
analysis poster who opposes U.S. sanctions they don't view kindly upon the United States coming in especially an extremely unpopular figure himself Donald Trump who has spoken nothing but terrible things about Latin American countries and their peoples to come and appoint a president you know obviously that is very poorly viewed here in Venezuela the question is you know Juan Lua Do if if I were Juan Lua Do right now and I wanted to be president of Venezuela I would go to the barrio instead of hiding for two days not being seen I would be in the barrios talking to people making myself seen and
talking to people about their ordinary problems.
He is not doing that.
He clearly is just getting his marching orders from Washington.
So Waido is not visible right now.
Let's go.
And that guy's from Venezuela Analysis, an excellent source on the ground.
Venezuela Analysis.
Unbelievable.
And also all the things that we're talking about, just really quickly a plug for both of our Twitter accounts and YouTube on the Empire Files, because we have a playlist for all our Venezuela coverage that really goes in depth to all the issues that we're talking about.
We've also spent the last week pulling clips and sound bites from all of the coverage, putting them on our Twitters to try to just counter this coup propaganda.
And it's really important that we do this.
I agree.
So check it out.
He's got a little bit more to say.
No, the atmosphere is definitely kind of an eerie calm in that sense that people reject.
Although there has been violence in various communities in the last three nights, the overwhelming majority of Venezuelans, they live through the violence of 2014, the violence of 2017.
They don't want their communities to be destroyed.
their public and private property be damaged, infrastructure, etc.
And they're not taking part in these violent protests.
And the desire of most Venezuelan people is to have their most pressing everyday issues resolved and not have any kind of violent outcome, which is very real, given the escalation that the United States is pushing right now.
Okay, so again, the violence coming from the United States.
Isn't this amazing?
It's the oldest story in the world, and it drives me nuts that people who follow the news closely have no idea what's going on in Venezuela.
And it's the same old fucking story as Iraq.
It's the same old story as Libya, Syria.
It never ends.
It's the same old fucking story.
And here we are.
There's natural research.
You know, when Trump says, oh, Syria is just sand and death, it's not what's in Syria that people want.
People want to put a pipeline through Syria.
That's a big deal, right?
So that's why it's that sand and death is important because the pipeline is going to go through there.
And it would be natural gas, which now Putin and the Russians supply to Europe.
And of course, they want to have that pipeline do it.
So that's what this...
So again, people even know that.
That drives me nuts.
And that's just one of the reasons we're in Syria, right?
There's Israel also wants us there to counter Iran.
And so again, it is...
By the way, none of these things have anything to fucking do with us.
We shouldn't be there.
None of those reasons.
Well, they have something to do with our corporate interests.
So that's what it is.
That's what it is.
Our corporations just like...
I mean, in Central and South America, there's a history of us going down there and getting their land for agriculture and all this.
It's unreal.
We just...
We're a corporation with an army.
That's what we are.
That's what we are.
Oh, God.
I had a question I wanted to ask.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Did I cut you off?
No, I'm on.
Well, I will say about the violence.
I mean, because he did mention in this clip that there is violent clashes in some areas, right?
A baroness, which is like a largely opposition.
So one of the responses have been, well, the government is just going out and killing the opposition now, right?
And then you hear again, like 14 people were killed over the last three days.
So it's this dictatorship going and murdering people just for protesting.
These are armed clashes.
And this was the case in 2017 and 2014, where there's deaths at protests.
There's deaths on both sides.
There's deaths of civilians.
And it's not a peaceful...
No peaceful protest has ever been repressed, to my knowledge, in Venezuela.
I've never seen any evidence of that.
The protest where there is violence from the security forces is when there are guns, explosives, all types of violence coming from the protesters.
in this protest when they claim that the government massacred 14 people or so in the last few days uh the protesters were dropping grenades on police from overpasses uh they this is where as abby mentioned they uh spotted someone who they recognized as a government supporter they murdered him and set his body on fire the opposition is a big fan of setting people on fire in venezuela which is which is pretty disturbing um and so when when people start to hear there's repression, there's deaths.
I mean, there's obviously a context to it.
And in fact, I will say that in 2017, when there were protest deaths and there was deaths on both sides, security forces were killed, protesters were killed.
Whenever a police officer or military was accused of excessive force or the wrongful death of someone, they were arrested and tried in court.
I mean, can you imagine that happening in the United States?
I mean, when do we see police?
But it's a dictatorship, yet over 100 security forces in 2017 were arrested and tried for being accused of excessive force.
And all you have to do is see some of these youth that we interviewed.
I mean, we went and just did man on the streets in Venezuela and one of the busy thoroughfares.
And these kids are like, you'd have to be fucking insane to call us a dictatorship.
They're like, and what place do you call a place that has 28 elections in the last 20 years a dictatorship?
I mean, it's just so amazing to hear from Venezuelans themselves to debunk it.
And that's why I really encourage, I mean, I haven't really seen anyone else go and really get the word from Venezuelans themselves.
Don't take it from us.
All these reports have Venezuelans speaking for themselves.
It's just the other side of the story.
Hello?
Ho!
Thank you.
Hello.
Yes.
Hello.
Who is this?
Bye.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
*phone rings*
Hello.
Is this Jeb Bush?
Maybe.
Well, is it Jeb Bush or not?
That is if you want it to be.
Do you want it to be?
Sure.
Okay.
Hello.
Hi, Jeb.
Hi, Jimmy.
I'm still relevant.
I still have something to give.
Yeah.
I'm not a mild-mannered dweeb, so stop it.
I've never called you that, Jeb.
Well, some people have, so stop it.
Not fair.
I'm very forceful.
So, you know, right?
Okay, you're very forceful.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yes.
Just checking to see if you were still there.
I could be electrifying.
As a matter of fact, as governor, I fixed old Sparky.
Remember that time with Terry Shibo?
I could have saved her with a few well-placed shocks to her whatevers.
I'm not a doctor, but I played one as governor.
I can act.
I can do a lot of things.
How come I'm not on MSNBC all the time, huh?
I'd be good on that channel.
I'm a blush.
We're great on camera.
Please put me on your podcast.
Well, you're out of it now, Jeb.
Oh, well, I'm not a mild-mannered dweeb, but I've killed people.
Won't anybody care?
Please care.
I care, Jeb.
I really do.
It's time for my comeback, right?
I can take on Trump this time.
Bush Schultz 2020.
What a dream team, right?
We agree on a lot of things like slashing entitlements.
You mean entitlement, slashing?
You mean like Social Security and Medicare, right?
No, I mean, we got to get our debt down.
And the only way to do that is to slash Social Security and Medicare.
Why do you hate me?
Hello?
Hello?
Did you hang up?
I can hear somebody breathing on the other line.
Oh, Mike, that's me.
Hello?
Hey, it turns out the oceans are warming 40% faster than scientists thought just five years ago.
So this is a real deal.
And if you think apocalypse is happening now with refugees, wait till you see it in just a few years, just a few.
So they have this Extinction Rebellion is coming to the United States.
So there's a Ron, tell us what this is.
A group named Extinction Rebellion.
Yeah, it's a group name and it's all around the world and they're staging protests for climate change.
And the first stateside one was this past weekend in New York City.
So this is the first one.
Nine arrested as environmental protesters, Drake Banner on Rockefeller Center's Prometheus.
So at the most famous ice skating rink in the world, they went there and police arrested nine of them.
They staged a die-in at the Rockefeller Center's ice rink on Saturday, including a 30-year-old protester who scaled the center's iconic gold Prometheus statue to hang a banner from it.
Cops surrounded Greg Swedock as he tied the climate change equals mass murder banner to the statue and fixed another item to its neck.
There's that big Prometheus.
And here they are on the rink.
And they're laying in a circle.
See, they have the circle around an hourglass.
That's the group symbol.
As he put up the banner, several protesters laid down on the ice in a die-in.
Swedok was arrested after climbing down from the 84-year-old statue, said to be the most photographed monumental sculpture in New York City.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, and if you caught it at the right time, you got to photograph it with the sign.
Right.
Police charged eight of the nine protesters with disorderly conduct.
So there's only nine protesters.
I think there was more.
Swedak is expected to.
A lot of people, if you watch some video of it that I don't have rights to, that people were cheering.
Swedok is expected to face reckless endangerment charges.
Swedak is a member of Extinction Rebellion and was promoting International Rebellion Week, which will take place in April.
So he's just getting the word out in January about something that's going to happen.
Come on, really, Jimmy.
You don't think there's anything ironic that he's being accused for endangerment as he's protesting?
I do think that's something ironic.
Similar protests were held in other countries, organizers said.
So there you go.
I'm looking forward to more extent.
We need people in yellow vests out in the world right now in America.
So we got to yellow vest the shit out of this place so that the Starbucks CEO knows what the fuck's happening about that.
Yep.
Okay.
This is all nice.
Unfortunately, climate change is an inevitability and there's nothing we can do.
I mean, there's things we can do, but we will not do it.
It's not too late yet.
It's not too late yet.
We're really messing with the clock.
We're pushing our chances.
Not happened.
They're not going to stop.
They're still building coal plants.
They're not stopping this stuff.
So start planning for it.
Ooh, look, that's junior senator Mitt Romney calling.
Hello.
Congratulate me, Jimmy.
For I have been finally elected president.
Mitt, the presidential election's a year away.
Well, I'll tell you about something even more important, Jimmy.
Even more momentous.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Don't freak out.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Samurano, and Mark Van Landowick.
Special thanks to Abby Martin and Mike Kreisner for sitting in and explaining to us what's going on in Venezuela.
Check them out.
Empire of Files is Abby's show, and I've Left Podcast is Mike Preismer's show.
Thank you very much for being our guests.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
I'm not kidding!
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
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