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Nov. 30, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:59
20181130_1129_TJDS_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello.
Hello, my friend.
It is I, once again, Chuck Schumer, master of the Senate.
You know, you know, a lot of people call you a feckless hack.
Of the Senate?
Yes.
Well, I find that very inappropriate and totally at odds with everything this country stands for.
But if you honestly feel that way, I really can't stay mad at you, you big lug.
By the way, is there anything I can do for you?
No, I'm all right.
Nothing I can get you, a glass of water, take out your trash, feed the cats, straighten your pillows.
No, I'm okay.
Why the sudden desire to tend to my needs, Chuck?
That is my job as Master of the Senate, for I have been chosen once again to lead my mighty army of public servants to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Ah, geez, I'm so full of shit, aren't I?
Go ahead.
You can say it.
I'm full of shit.
Will you say it, please?
Oh, yes, yes.
Say it.
How about something else?
Oh, go, yes.
Anything.
Whatever you want, anything.
Okay, tell us how you feel about Donald Trump appointing Matthew Whitaker as Attorney General.
Oh, my, such a question.
Off the record, I am questioning that decision.
My official position on that is that I am questioning it.
No holds barred shoom, they call me.
And what about funding Trump's wall?
Oh, no need to worry about that, Jimmy.
We are not under any circumstances going to knuckle under to build any kind of wall.
I can tell you that right now, Buster Brown.
Good.
But we did offer Republicans a little pocket change to make them wonder a bit.
How much?
Oh, around $1.6 billion.
But I really held the line there.
Not even a half billion more, I huffed.
Not by the hair of my shitty chin chin.
Why would you even offer one cent for anything remotely related to a damn wall?
What if the president shuts down the government?
What then?
Shutting down the government would just cause uncertainty.
We must have order.
We can't have all those barefooters traipsing across the border without lights and our troops firing tear gas and rubber bullets every which way.
What are we savages?
What are we mountebanks?
So you're going to help Trump waste money on a wall while 600,000 go into medical bankruptcy every year?
Oh, goodness no, Jimmy.
I'm holding the line at $1.6 billion.
Nothing over $1.8 billion.
That's my final offer.
$4 billion.
All right, you strike a hard bargain.
$7 billion, but not a plug nickel more.
What do you think the GOP chances for 2020 are, Chuck?
Let me answer that question with another question, my good friend.
Have you entered the Onward Together sweepstakes?
Are you going to see a Broadway play and have a glass of Chardonnay with Hillary?
What?
Pinch yourself.
Because by entering today, you'll get a chance to pack your favorite pantsuit and pick a friend.
Because you're off to New York City to join Hillary Clinton for an evening you'll never forget.
Why?
To get a chance to meet Hillary in person and say thank you.
I don't know.
What's the play?
A reboot of Spider-Man.
Turn off the dark.
No?
Anybody?
Just tell us who's going to win in 2020, Chuck.
All I can say is Republicans should be very worried about 2020 because I plan on doing a lot more questioning and asking more things.
All right, you drive a hard bargain.
They're going to win.
There, I said it.
But I fought my hardest, and that is why I am Chuck Schumer, feckless hack of the Senate.
Thank you.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
Remember, February 1st is our next live Jimmy Door show in Burbank, California.
Live Jimmy Dore show, February 1st.
Tickets go fast.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for tickets.
Now let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, did you see Donald Trump?
Donna Tonahan's the president of the US of A, referred to Adam Schiff as Adam shit.
Woo!
That is so unbefitting the Office of War Criminal, am I right?
And I have no words for the phrase no words, but I do have thoughts and prayers.
Oh, but hey, you know what?
I took that Paul Krugman's masterclass in economics.
And, well, here's my notes from lesson one.
When you buy a turtleneck the same dark color as your sports jacket, your head looks like it's not attached to your body.
That's the one that had me laughing.
I guess it's already the holiday season because they started playing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on the TV this week.
And remember, kids, being different really sucks, and everyone will hate you, but it'll all work out at some point if there's something about you a powerful person can exploit.
Chuck Schumer talking about the proper dollar amount to fund Trump's border wall.
Hey, there's only one dollar amount that's appropriate to fund Trump's border wall, Chuck.
It's the same number that is appropriate to have of super delegates and the same number that represents how good of a leader you are on a scale of one to ten, and that number is zero.
Did you hear CNN started putting a live fact checker next to Sarah Huckabee Sanders whenever she talks?
I'll take blind leading the blind for 500, Alex.
Breaking newly discovered deleted scenes from Shawshank Redemption reveal 500 more yards of shit-smelling foulness.
Hey, just think if America wanted to invade itself, we wouldn't have to make up an excuse about us using chemical weapons on civilians.
And let me just say the next person who makes that absurd pepper spray is no big deal.
It's food argument should be required to prove it on air.
Hey, CNN, great job hiring Rick Santorum to come on and talk about climate change.
I guess Pat Robertson wasn't available.
I'd be outraged over Trump tear gassing immigrants, but I still haven't finished outraging over the dozens of times Bill Clinton and Obama did it.
I wonder if those kids know how fortunate they were to get gassed by the lesser of two evils.
Hey, did you hear about the new contest where you can join Hillary Clinton for a Broadway play.
Have you heard about this?
I'd like to attend Hillary's Join Hillary Clinton for a Broadway play and Chardonnay event, but I'm already booked for a lunch at an all-you-can-eat Romaine salad bar.
I hear the featured wine at Hillary's event is going to be Trader Joe's two-buck Chuck Schumer.
Hey, what's coming up on this week's show?
First, the good news: Bernie Sanders gets the Senate to vote to end the war in Yemen.
The bad news: Democrats and the progressives decide to get behind Nancy Pelosi for speaker and get behind a corporate Democrat for caucus leader over Barbara Lee.
And the Colorado Democratic Party turns its back on the Democratic voters.
We got phone calls today from George Clooney, Jeb Bush, Mitt Romney, and Chuck Schumer, Master of the Senate.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Door Show.
Everybody, welcome to Jimmy Dorrow.
I'm here at the Miserable Liberal and Ron Placone.
Hi, Jimmy.
Hello.
Ron's got a big CD release party coming up Thursday night.
Yeah, that's right.
Thursday night, November 29th, 9:30 at Sycamore Tavern.
That's here in L.A. And then a lot of 2019 dates, Florida, Texas, New Orleans, romplicone.com for all those tickets.
If you're in those states, go see them.
Guess what?
Big news.
Breaking Senate votes to advance Senator Sanders' resolution to end the U.S. military involvement in Yemen.
This is a historic moment that will allow debate on the Senate floor.
Bernie and other senators have been fighting for this for years.
Time for final passage.
That's a big deal.
The White House has promised a veto and the final passage.
Wait, has promised a veto and final passage is not guaranteed, but this is an incredible moment where the U.S. Senate agreed to debate ending a war.
Thank you to all those who have kept up the pressure over the years.
Yemen can't wait.
Wow.
Well, we've been in Afghanistan now 17 years.
Wow.
Wow.
17 years.
That's amazing.
So someone who was born right when we invaded Afghanistan is now a graduate going into college.
Pretty much.
Their whole life up to this point, we've been at war.
Wow.
Plenty of money for war, not enough money for education.
Not enough money for health care, education, clean water.
Is there a jobs program?
No, there isn't.
So today, every Senate Democrat voted to end U.S. involvement in Yemen.
Unbelievable.
When the resolution was voted on in March, 10 Democrats voted against it.
Our ideas are the ideas of the future.
I agree with that, Bart.
That's for sure.
The progressive ideas are, and if they aren't the ideas, and if they don't get implemented in the future, we will all perish.
Well, yeah, clearly.
The progressive idea, do something about climate change.
Do something.
The other one, do nothing.
So, yes, one has a future.
And then here's Chris Murphy.
Senator Chris Murphy says, I've been at this for three years and I am blown away by this.
By a big bipartisan margin, 63 to 37, the Senate just voted for the first time to move forward with a debate on ending American involvement in the Yemen war.
Thanks to Senator Mike Lee and Senator Sanders for their partnership.
Wow, I'm sure a lot of people are going to be upset at that.
You're not supposed to ever work with a right-winger to get anything good done.
And Mike Lee is, he's Ted Cruz's best friend.
So that's, well, I'm sure that's a big no-no to a lot of corporate Democrats.
Well, and Bernie's not even a Democrat.
Bernie's not even a Democrat, but I'm sure there's a lot of MSNBC wannabes who are going to be upset at Bernie for that.
You're never allowed to work with anybody outside anybody to the right of you to get anything done.
And that upsets if you're, I'm just letting him know MSNBC wannabes are going to be coming at him, which is actually good for Bernie and me when that happens because it really helps divide.
It really helps show who's who.
And that's good for us.
But this is a big deal.
Look at that vote, 63 to 37.
63 to 37.
So you know what that tells me?
And by the way, the majority in the Senate is Republican.
So what does that tell you?
That tells you the left and the right want to end the goddamn wars.
Now, this isn't a consequential vote.
This is just a vote to have debate.
So I'm sure that number will narrow if they ever have an actual vote to end the wars because a lot of these people are beholden to the military-industrial complex, which is why we have the wars.
So do you see if we didn't have the corruption of the bought congresspeople?
We could actually have a democracy instead of what we have, which is an oligarchy, which is a fact, right?
That's not my opinion that we have an oligarchy.
We literally live in an oligarchy, which is why voting doesn't make a fucking difference.
Have you seen voting make a difference in the last 10 years?
Or did we get exactly what the oligarchy wanted to give us anyway?
Bank bailouts, more wars, more foreclosures, more drilling, less regulation on Wall Street.
It didn't matter who we voted for.
We got all that stuff.
We had eight years of Barack Obama.
All that happened underneath him.
The Democrats went along with all the wars and did half of them.
Well, Jimmy, we only live in an oligarchy if you take dictionary seriously.
So just to be clear.
And so.
I don't ever remember anybody ever, no representative ever asked me about why the United States should participate in Yemen.
Nope, no, we've never asked that.
I never saw a politician that campaign on going to war in Yemen.
Have you saw a politician campaign on going to war in Yemen, going to war in Libya, campaign on going to war in Syria, campaign on keeping us in Afghanistan, campaign on keeping us in a rappress?
Have you ever seen anyone campaign on any of this?
No.
But it just keeps going, even though everyone's against it.
We're still in Yemen.
Everyone's against it.
We're still in Yemen.
Everybody's against it.
A lot of people voted for Trump on the right because he said he was an anti-interventionist.
And by the way, in Bob Woodward's book, he puts a passage in there to make Trump look like an idiot because Trump says, hey, why don't we just pull out of Afghanistan?
And Bob Woodward writes in the book, a couple of generals had to talk him down off that.
So there you go, baby.
This is great.
This is great news.
Senator Sanders working with Senator Mike Lee.
That's going to, oh, that's going to, whew, that's really going to upset some people with no integrity.
But what do you think?
It's amazing.
Nobody in the country wants this.
We got it.
Everybody in the country wants Medicare for all.
We ain't getting it.
Isn't that something?
But I'm sure there'll be another millionaire celebrity on Twitter telling you to vote.
I just told the bellhop to vote.
I just told the bellhop to vote in an oligarchy.
You're welcome.
I just do it as an asshole because I'm a millionaire, and it doesn't matter what he does.
The voting doesn't matter to his life.
He's never going to get fucking medicine.
He's never going to get a living wage.
He's never going to get a well.
If only ending all wars would just be a ballot measure across the country.
Right.
Like that.
Then it's like, yeah, they'd end tomorrow.
Right.
It would be overwhelming.
It'd probably be like 90% plus.
Why don't we have a ballot?
They won't even have a ballot measure on Medicare for all in California because it would pass.
Ending the wars would pass.
Ending fracking would pass.
Free college would pass.
It's weird.
And they want me to vote on judges, but not on these right issues.
I'm a judge.
I'm going to vote on the judge in District 2.
What the hell?
I don't know what you're doing as a judge.
Are you kidding me?
But I could tell you, as far as what I want, I want peace.
And let me tell you something.
We have a supermajority Democrat here in California.
We have super majority with a Democratic governor.
And we don't have one goddamn progressive thing in this state.
So if you think the Democratic Party is your savior to end these wars or to implement progressive ideas, think again.
Think again.
What is this?
Doesn't this prove it that everybody wants to get rid of these wars?
Except when it comes down to it, they won't because they're bought.
And of course, CNN's not going to be saying what I'm saying.
MSNBC won't be saying what I'm saying.
MSNBC is for the wars.
CNN is for the wars.
Every piece of propaganda or news you see on CNN or MSNBC about the wars is for more war.
We got to go into Syria.
We got to bomb them.
Why?
There's a gas attack.
Not one critical fucking person allowed on those news shows.
Do they bring on Medea Benjamin?
No, but they'll bring on Bill Crystal, won't they?
They won't bring on Medea Benjamin to talk about the wars that they want to go into.
They won't even show her getting kicked out of a place.
Right.
But they will bring on bloodthirsty psychopaths like Bill Crystal all day long to advocate for more war and the head of the CIA to advocate for more war.
He's like the hipster of war, that guy.
He's just like, you guys are still talking about Russia.
I moved on to China.
Yes.
You kidding?
Come 2019.
I'm going to be on Mexico.
Wait for it.
Wow.
Okay.
So a bit of good news that actually reminds you of all the bad news.
Come on.
What's he doing?
Pick up the darn phone.
Why don't you?
Gosh, darn, gosh, darn.
In fall, the floods in Florida fervently quote frequently on Fridays.
Oh, hell to heck.
Hello.
Yeah, calm down.
It's who you think it is.
Okay.
But who is this again?
Oh, come on!
Ha ha ha ha!
I was just kidding, Jeb.
I know you.
I know who this is.
Oh, gee, Wiz, no need to apologize.
You're right.
Nobody knows who I am anymore.
I'm going to eat worms.
No, I'm not right, Jeb.
I was only kidding.
You back down too easily.
You should stand up for yourself more.
I know, you're right.
I back down too easily.
I should stand up for myself more.
Yeah.
Would you have any advice on how to do that, maybe?
You don't need my advice on that, Jeb.
You ran for president once, remember?
I know.
You're right.
I don't need your advice.
In fact, to heck with your advice, I'm never going to stand up for myself again just to show you how independent I am.
Okay.
Please don't hang up.
What makes you think I was going to hang up?
Because that always happens after I say, please don't hang up.
It's uncanny.
People don't respect me.
I wasn't even invited to my niece's wedding.
I mean, what the heck, right?
I'm sure there's a good explanation for that.
They got married in Maine.
Can you believe that?
You'll never see me there.
I can tell you that right now.
Well, with their ranked choice voting.
But don't you always stay at your family's compound in Kenny Monkport?
Duh.
You don't know anything about peninsulas, do you?
Walker's Point is like its own independent state, like the Vatican.
We don't have ranked choice voting on Walker's Point.
We didn't even have ping-pong until my mom died.
I can do whatever I want to in my rec room now.
You should come see my coin collection.
I have a 1914 D penny.
Pretty rare.
What do you have against ranked choice voting?
Voters.
Because when voters get excited about voting, you know something is going to happen here, but you don't know what it is.
Do you, Mr. Jones?
Ranked choice voting encourages the S-word.
Okay, I'll say it.
Socialism.
I hate Philadelphia.
Why?
Because a bunch of nice young people got out of a meeting and saw me on the street and asked to take a photo with me.
But here's the thing.
They were socialists.
And before they snapped their Instamatic, someone yelled socialism.
I was taken aback.
Excuse my language.
But were they nice?
Oh, they had a big old laugh at my expense, that's for sure.
They think they're so smarty pants.
Well, they just aren't with their big grown-up trousers.
They don't know who they're dealing with.
I forced a feeding tube down a brain-dead woman's throat, remember?
Do you lament the current state of politics, Jeb?
Oh, yes, I lament the current state of politics.
You know that about me.
That's well known that the current state of politics is something I lament about.
That's for sure.
Why, again?
Because it's terrible.
Well, at least I can take comfort in one thing.
What's that?
My son is a bigger lame-o than I am.
Lamo, lame-o, lame-o.
Oh, that's his name-oh, please don't hang up.
Hello?
Oh, heck to hell.
So, well, last year, you see this guy?
That's the chairman of the Democratic Party in California.
Last year, a big pharma lobbyist was elected as chairman of the California Democratic Party.
That's that guy, Eric Bauman.
He's now accused of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and intimidating a witness.
Eric Bauman's taste is for younger males and big pharma cash.
Eric Bauman, he helped stop this guy, the chairman of the Democratic Party, helped stop Bernie Sanders' endorsed proposition to allow California to negotiate for lower pharma prices.
He helped stop it.
The chairman of the party.
How many Californians died because they couldn't afford their medicine since then?
That's a question.
I don't have an answer for it, but you know it's a big number.
The leader of the California Democratic Party doesn't care how many people died.
He was getting paid not to care.
Eric Bauman is a bully.
Bauman has taken a leave of absence while the multiple charges get investigated.
Progressives tried to prevent him from becoming the head of the party.
I was part of those progressives.
We went and voted in the Democratic leadership election.
But the California Democratic Party has the equivalent of super delegates known as appointed delegates who thwarted the progressives because we showed up in much bigger numbers than the corporate Democrats, and we thought we took over the party in California.
Let's remember, California is the fifth largest economy in the world.
So we showed up after Bernie inspired everybody in the 2016 election.
We showed up in January of 2017 to take over the Democratic Party in California and make it progressives.
We showed up.
We overwhelmingly voted for progressives to be our delegates and take over the party.
They have super delegates called appointed delegates and they pushed us back.
So sorry, you're out of luck.
The corporatists did not let go of the Democratic Party.
And so here we are with a super majority Democrats in California and a Democratic governor named Jerry Brown and fifth largest economy in the world.
And we still don't have single payer.
We still don't have free college.
We still don't have a living wage.
We still don't have a ban on fracking.
And we still don't have a housing policy.
We still have unaffordable housing.
We still have homelessness.
We still have every horrible problem.
Just like as if Mitt Romney was running the state.
Now, Eric Bauman, he's being replaced by Vice Chair Alex Rucker, who herself is being investigated for corruption.
It's almost like there's a pre-rec to be considered.
Yeah.
Alex Ruker took money from profiteers who are gouging people that need dialysis.
This is supposed to be a Democrat?
This, yeah.
The charges against Bauman were brought forward by Vice Chair Daraka Larimar Hall.
He's a former Bernie Sanders delegate and the youngest person in the leadership.
The California Party is a hive of corruption.
Party leadership protects each other while maintaining an incumbency protection racket.
The leaders of the party are bought off by the people that want to prevent Californians from getting health care.
Progressives have been trying to clean up the party.
We have a big chance coming up with this new chair election.
So we'll see what happens.
I think I'm technically still registered as a Democrat.
So I registered as a Democrat so I could, A, vote for Bernie in the primary in California, and then so I could do that, vote for the progressive Democratic, what do they call them, delegates.
So I'm sure, I guess I'm still registered Democrat.
Do you have to unregister?
I don't know.
So there we go.
There's Eric Bauman, California Democratic Party chair and bully, and a guy who's responsible, I would say, for people who, if you died because you couldn't afford your drugs, which we know a lot of people do in America, they can't afford their medication, so they die because of it.
They die because they take, they don't, I couldn't afford my heart medicine, so I just took half of it.
You've heard those stories all the time.
They're ubiquitous.
That guy.
These are the people.
These are the creatures, the Cretans running the Democratic Party.
Nancy Pelosi also doesn't want you to have the health care that she has.
She has Medicare.
She doesn't want you to have it.
Why?
Because she's corrupt and she's a narcissistic megalomaniac, just like that guy.
Just like that guy.
What kind of a guy wants to be a Democratic politician and then deny you health care?
That's some kind of a, that's worse than being a Republican.
To me, it is.
To me, that's like you're a traitor.
Republicans aren't traitors.
They tell you who they are.
This guy is.
He's a traitor of the people.
And I give a, you know, this show also runs on radio in Los Angeles and New York and across the country.
And there was someone in Los Angeles who, when I was giving Eric Bauman a hard time after he got elected to the chair of the party, this California activist, she was giving me a hard time.
How dare you say that about Eric Bauman?
Somebody at KPFK Radio.
Do you believe that?
Is that what their activism revolves around?
Like, oh, how are you an activist?
Well, I yell at comedians if they give establishment politicians a hard time.
Doing the Lord's work.
It's not easy.
Someone's got to do it.
There you go.
Eric Bauman.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
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Thanks for your support.
Hey, look, it's freshman Senator Mitt Romney on the phone.
In your face, you Sicilian island monkey.
I'm president of the United States.
I finally made it.
You're a freshman senator, Mitt, and you're not president.
Yet.
Small technicality.
I'm one of the most powerful men in the world.
I can't wait to get my assigned locker.
But you're still just a freshman senator.
Right, just.
You have no idea the kind of power I will yield or wield.
What's the word?
Wield.
And boy, am I going to stir up some righteous shit?
Just like I did to my freshman year at Cranbrook.
Dear old Tranbrook, first off, me and my pals are going to haze every homo we see walking past the frat house.
I can call them homos now because we didn't know they were homos back then.
We just called them queers.
There's a frat house in Congress?
Yes, there's a frat house in Congress, you idiot.
It's called Congress.
Hey, Jimmy, what's your favorite cheer?
I don't know.
We are the wolves, and we are proud.
We are not quiet because we are loud.
We came from Cranbrook to do our best, and we are better than all the rest.
Go Cranbrook.
The clapping part is always the hardest for me.
You really got to concentrate on it to get the claps evenly spaced.
I was very popular at Clanbrook, at Cranbrook.
I chaired many important committees at Clambake.
Much like I anticipate I'll do in Congress, Brooke.
Like what?
I was head of the robotics club.
The students recognize that my stiff and stale qualities were more than a mere affectation.
They were innate.
I've dug deep down into my psyche for this position.
And as usual, I brought more to the game than expected.
I was the world's first homophobic robot.
Congress is still heavily divided.
How can you make your mark under these conditions?
I believe divided Congress will force people to work together, Jimmy.
And by together, I mean you whips will come begging for our attention like usual while we shit in your mouth.
William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner mouth.
But really, I look forward to collaborating with the president until he burns down the White House and I'm chosen by the Praetorian Guard to be emperor.
But did you once say, Trump, that Trump is, quote, a phony, a fraud?
His promises are worthless as a degree from Trump University.
Yes, and I look forward to working with the president in every phony and fraudulent way possible to promote our worthless promises.
And you can take that all the way to Bank Capital and deposit it for later asset amortization.
Google it.
Now look at me, Jimmy.
I'm doing the robot.
Seep, sop, sore.
Beep, bop, beep, boop.
Yeah.
Hey, everybody, welcome to Jimmy Dorso.
I'm here at the Miserable Liberal and Ron Placone.
Hi, Jimmy.
Hello.
So the Democrats had a blue wave.
It was very nice.
The Michigan governor, who she won, she's a Democrat.
She beat Rick Schneider, who's that horrible guy who did the Plint water poisoning.
So they got rid of him.
They brought in a new female governor of Michigan.
She appointed the CEO of Blue Cross in Michigan to her transition team.
Thanks for voting, Democrat.
Now get this.
In Denver, in Colorado, the Democrats took over the legislature.
Look at that.
With legislative control, how will Colorado Dems approach business policy?
This is from the Denver Business Journal.
Well, David Sirota, who's who lives in Colorado, his wife, I think, just won her thing.
Isn't she a congressperson now?
He says Colorado Dems won the legislature on a promise to finally pass Democratic bills like paid sick leave that were blocked by the GOP Senate.
Days after the election, Democrats say they may water down those bills now that they have the power to pass them.
This is from the article.
It says, Zensinger and other Democrats have said many of those bills will come back, but they will be negotiated more with business leaders now that they look likely to pass rather than to die in a Senate committee.
It's right there.
That those bills are going to come back, but they will be negotiated with business leaders now that they look likely to pass rather than to die in a Senate committee.
And Representative Tracy Kraft Tharp, an Arvedia Democrat who is considered to be the most pro-business Democrat at the legislature, said Tuesday, for example, that she is already working on a wide group of stakeholders to come up with a paid family leave bill that businesses will not consider to be an onerous one-size-fits-all solution that stops them from coming to agreements with their employees on a case-by-case basis.
My job will be to find common ground to be able to work with both the Republicans and the Democrats, Kraft Tharp said.
That's not what people voted for.
And do you see what suppresses the vote for Democrats?
This is what, not the Green Party, not Jill Stein, not Susan Sarandon.
This.
They vote in Democrats because they want those policies.
And Democrats go, guess what?
We're also corrupt.
So now we're going to actually do what the Republicans wanted.
Remember when the Republicans had control?
They wouldn't do a goddamn thing we wanted.
And now we're going to do everything they want.
That's what suppresses the vote.
And that's what's happening right now in Congress.
Now the Democrats are getting behind Nancy Pelosi in Congress as the leader.
They're not even having someone run against her.
This is happening.
Well, go ahead.
Well, I was just going to point out, not only is this not what people want, but they're not even doing what they say they're doing.
They're talking about finding common ground.
And that paragraph above, I heard pro-business and business leaders mentioned a bunch of times.
I don't see workers mentioned anywhere.
Anywhere.
So it means they're not even at the table.
So not only are you doing a watered-down thing of what people want anyway, you're not even doing that.
You're just giving the businesses what they want.
And guess what, Jimmy?
Also, according to the Denver Post, the Democrats are firmly in control of every branch of state government in Colorado.
And this is what you get.
So I live in California.
We have a supermajority Democrats.
We have a Democratic governor, Jerry Brown.
We don't have Medicare for all.
We're the fifth largest economy in the world.
We're the fifth largest economy in the world.
So naturally, you wonder, how would we pay for it?
Think about that.
You know, we have prisoners fighting our fires.
Half the people fighting the fires are prisoners because, you know, the fifth largest economy in the world.
You couldn't possibly hire firefighters for this.
This is what's up.
This is what suppresses the vote.
This is why people didn't vote for Hillary Clinton because they knew this was coming.
This.
This is why the people didn't vote in Wisconsin and Michigan and Pennsylvania for Hillary Clinton.
This is the reason.
This is here you have you here.
You have it.
So now we have Democrats in total control in Colorado, Democrats in total control of California.
And what do we get?
We have to rely on ballot measures to get progressive legislation passed.
We have to rely on ballot measures to get medical marijuana.
We have to rely on Ballot measures to get rent control.
We have to rely on ballot measures.
Why do we have to rely on ballot measures?
We have complete control.
Democrats.
Oh, that's right.
Democrats are owned.
Democrats are also owned.
So here, I love what my friend Greg says.
He says, GOP, we're in power.
Let's pass the most right-wing legislation our caucus can bear.
Democrats, same.
Yeah, that's funny and painfully accurate at the same time.
I'm depressed.
That's exactly what happens.
That's exactly what happens.
the Democrats passed the most right-wing legislation that the Democratic caucus will put up with.
So, you know, I have to laugh, otherwise I'll slip my wrists.
The Democrats, Blue, we came out.
Remember all those celebrities on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram telling everybody, vote, make sure you vote.
I told a bellman to vote today.
I told my bartender to vote today.
I made sure I told everybody to vote.
Everybody came out and voted, and now they're getting it stuck in their ass.
But it doesn't matter to millionaire celebrities because they don't give a fuck because none of this is going to affect them.
They don't need a family leave act.
They're millionaire celebrities.
Deborah Messing doesn't need paid family leave act.
She's a freaking millionaire.
And they don't even know.
They don't even have any idea this stuff is going on.
This is why you got Trump, but everybody.
This is why you got Trump.
So now in Colorado, they voted overwhelmingly for Democrats, and they're still going to get fucked.
And then a right-wing demagogue comes along who outlefts the Democrats, says, I'm going to give you health care.
We're going to get rid of those immigrants taking your job and we're going to end the wars.
And then they vote for them.
Then you go, well, they must be racist.
No, they voted for Democrats.
They didn't do anything for them.
They voted for Barack Obama overwhelmingly.
He gave them Mitt Romney care anyway.
Didn't vote.
Didn't matter who they voted for.
The banks got bigger.
The wars got bigger.
The Bush tax cuts got made permanent.
And we got Romney care anyway.
And they cracked the heads of Occupy Wall Street anyway.
Didn't matter who you voted for, Mitt Romney or Barack Obama.
We got the same shit.
Didn't matter if you voted for Bob Dole or Bill Clinton.
They deregulated Wall Street, exploded the prison population, gutted welfare, and passed NAFTA.
What the fuck else was Bob Dole going to do that was worse than that?
Oh, privatized Social Security.
Bill Clinton tried.
This is the problem the Democrats aren't going to ever address because this means going against the why are they doing this?
So why when the Democrats were voted in to do stuff like paid sick leave, why won't they do it?
Because their donors said not to, because they have no interest in doing it.
95% of all the congressional races go to the person who spends the most money.
They're going with the most money.
That's what this Democrats have not addressed this.
In fact, the progressives are getting behind the biggest corporate money grabber in all of Congress, Nancy Pelosi.
Right now, the progressives are vowing to support her, not run against her, not hold her feet to the fire to support her.
The progressives in Congress, Pramila Javral, Alexandria Casu-Cortez, they're all supporting Nancy Pelosi for Speaker.
This is the shit.
And what has Nancy Pelosi vowed?
She's vowed to kill Medicare for all.
She's vowed to keep the wars going.
That's what the Democrats are doing exactly.
This is honest.
I would slip my wrists if I don't laugh at this.
Well, it's one of those things.
Whenever I point out, it's like we have two right-wing parties, and that's it.
And if I honestly believed that that represented our populace, if that represented the population, I would just be like, man, I guess I really live in a country where not many people think like me.
I guess, man, I hope that changes someday.
But that doesn't represent the population at all.
It represents the business interest of a few.
And now we're seeing that play out once again.
I mean, really, we need a representative of the people to go and speak to the businesses to make sure that they get a fair date.
They get a fair shape.
It doesn't say anything about what people want.
Like nothing.
Like that paragraph doesn't even just like, well, we got to get the business leader's take on this.
Why?
Why do we have to get their take on it?
But when, so now that these bills were killed by the GOP, now the Democrats have control of the legislature.
those bills are going to come back, but they will be negotiated more with business leaders.
And so I'm holding the progressive politicians' feet to the fire, and we will be attacked for that.
And if you want to defend this shit show of corporatism, that's good.
Good.
I don't want to be in your fucking club.
I'm not in politics.
I come from nightclubs.
I'm a Jagoff nightclub comedian, and I'm not beholden to anybody, and I don't want access.
That's not what I'm about.
I'm about telling the truth and holding politicians' feet to the fire and watch people attack us for doing this.
They attack David Sirotta all the time for doing the same thing.
And Glenn Greenwald.
Well, we'll see what happens.
This is horrible.
We need a real revolution.
And those who make peaceful revolution impossible, these corporate Democrats, make violent revolution inevitable.
Who said that?
JFK.
Right now, we're talking about the Democratic Party.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
You got progressives getting behind Nancy Pelosi without extracting anything for that, like her being for Medicare for all or for her ending the wars or for her coming out for a living wage or for her coming.
Nothing.
They got committee appointments.
And I'm told that this is a huge deal.
Do you know that Nancy Pelosi can kick them off those committees anytime she wants?
So if anybody does anything on a committee that pisses her off, she could just tell them you're off.
And by the way, there's no committee bill that gets to the floor of the Congress without Nancy Pelosi's, she could say no.
So this is the definition of incrementalism, what's happening right now with the progressive takeover of the Democratic Party.
Now, I'm for the progressive takeover of the Democratic Party.
I've had Justice Democrats on my show from Corey Bush to Ocasio-Cortez to Rokana to, we've had everybody who's wanted to come on, we've had him on.
And so we support the progressives, no matter where they are.
We also recognize that this may be a fool's errand to try to take over the Democratic Party because here we are.
Two corporate Democrats were successfully primaried in 26 or this last election cycle.
Two.
That's it.
Climate change is going to kill us in about five minutes.
30 million Americans don't have health care.
80% of workers live paycheck to paycheck.
50% of people in America are poor or low-income.
They don't have time to wait 10 more years.
You understand?
That's why we got Trump because people are desperate right now.
And you know who isn't desperate?
Nancy Pelosi, who's 100 millionaire.
Chuck Schumer, who's also that's who doesn't care.
That's who thinks we should wait a little longer.
So they had, so now they're all backing Nancy Pelosi for speaker.
That's done.
Try to run against Trump with Nancy Pelosi as the face of your party to lose.
She's less popular than Trump.
And so now what's left is the fifth spot in the Democratic leadership, which is the caucus chair.
So when Ocasio-Cortez primaried Joe Crowley, Joe Crowley was the caucus chair.
So now Barbara Lee wanted to be caucus chair.
She's super progressive, and she was against the Afghan war even.
She's got her head right.
She knows exactly what she's doing on foreign policy.
She has integrity and courage and clarity.
So why do you think they would go, okay, we're going to give the progressives the caucus chair just to shut them up?
They didn't even do that.
They ran this guy, Hakeem Jeffries, wins contested House Democratic caucus race.
Now, remember, it was Joe Crowley who used to have this position.
Ocasio-Cortez, the voters said, we want him out.
And we want progressives in power.
Well, they ran Hakeem Jeffries against Barbara Lee.
And you want to know who this guy Hakeem Jeffries is?
Here he is talking about Bernie Sanders in 2016.
Secretary Clinton has been right on the issues as it relates to a whole host of concerns, particularly dealing with the gun violence epidemic that continues to sweep many of the communities that I represent and many communities of color all the country.
And we know that Senator Bernie Sanders has effectively functioned as a wholly owned subsidiary of the National Rifle Association for the entirety of his career, both as mayor, a member of the House and the Senate, voting five times against background checks, voting twice to shield gun manufacturers from liability, voting confidentially to understand that that's the guy.
He's a member of the progressive caucus, smearing Bernie Sanders as a solely owned subsidiary of the NRA.
That's such a stupid thing to say.
Even Chuck Todd pushes back.
Watch this.
Gets those votes.
Can you really refer to him as a wholly owned subsidiary of the NRA?
Do you really believe the NRA thinks that Bernie Sanders is just one of their guys?
Even Chuck Todd wouldn't buy.
That's him.
This is, by the way, this is the guy.
This is the Democrat of color running against Barbara Lee.
I guess that's not sexist.
I guess he's not a Hakeem bro.
He's not a Hakeem bro?
No.
Because if you ran against Hillary Clinton, you're a Bernie bro.
But he's running against Barbara Lee, but nobody ever said that about it.
It's okay for him to do it.
Do you want to know who else this guy is?
This guy, Jeffrey's to keynote, pro-charter schools rally in Prospect Park.
He's Betsy DeVos.
That's who this guy is.
You don't like Betsy DeVos?
Well, you shouldn't like him.
Do you understand why half the country isn't voting?
This is the Democratic leadership now.
Nancy Pelosi, Denny Stoyer, and this freaking guy.
This guy.
This guy.
He's the keynote speaker pro-charter school rally in Prospect Park.
Do you understand why half the people don't vote now?
Do you understand why people don't see a difference between Democrats and Republicans?
Do you understand at a time when nine out of 10 Democrats want Medicare for all, this guy is not going to give it to you?
He's going to stand in your way.
He's not your friend.
He's not fighting for you, Democrat.
He's fighting against you.
He's fighting for the same people who own the Republicans.
He's a member of the progressive caucus.
This guy is a member of the progressive caucus.
The majority of Americans think we need a third party.
The majority of Democrats think we need a third party.
What we need is a charismatic leader like Bernie to lead it.
Someone like that.
And then it will happen.
It won't happen without.
And that argument that people make about ballot access isn't true.
The Greens have ballot access in 46 states.
You only need about 23 states to win the presidency.
Do you want to see some more about this guy?
So here he is on MSNBC.
This is the leadership of the Democratic Party, the leadership, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and this guy.
And now the progressives have to get behind them.
Watch this guy.
Watch what he's for.
Would you be pushing for things like single payer, more of the progressive agenda?
Well, I'm a pragmatic progressive.
I think that we all want to move toward universality of health care coverage.
Universality.
Not even universal coverage.
Universality.
I'm now inventing words.
But we have to start by strengthening the Affordable Care Act.
No, we have to start by passing Medicare for all, which is what nine out of 10 Democrats want.
The majority of Republicans want.
So what this guy is telling you is I am just as corrupt as anybody on the right.
That's what he's telling you.
The leadership of the Democratic Party is completely corrupt.
Nancy Pelosi is corrupt, which is why she's not giving you Medicare for all.
He is corrupt, which is why he's not for Medicare for all.
He's for strengthening the right-wing health care plan, which is a giveaway to the health insurance companies, which is his donors.
He's your enemy.
The Democrats are your fucking enemy.
The Democrats are your fucking enemy.
You want to know who else this guy is?
This is the stuff he used to say about Bernie.
He said Sanders not a true friend to blacks.
That's what he said.
That's what he said.
This is the guy.
You know what else he said?
Representative Hakeem Jeffries, the Brooklyn congressman and Clinton supporter, released a statement on Thursday calling Mr. Sanders a gun-loving socialist with zero foreign policy experience.
That's the new leader.
That's the new leader.
Jeffries beats Representative Barbara Lee by 10 votes, with Debbie Wasserman Schultz speaking on behalf of Jeffries.
Jeffries.
Thank you.
The Democrats don't care that Trump is president.
The Democrats don't care that Trump is president.
This proves that they like that Trump is president and they want to keep him.
It's great to fundraise against.
It's great to have a distraction.
So now nobody's talking about how bad the Democrats are anymore.
And why aren't they legislating in favor of the people who voted for them?
No one's talking about that.
They can distract you with Trump.
These motherfuckers don't care.
That's corrupt as they come.
So is Nancy Pelosi.
They're as corrupt as they come.
They're the reason we got Trump.
And it's amazing.
They got rid of Joe Crawley.
They replaced him with that guy.
That guy who's a keynote speaker at charter school organizations dinners.
That guy who calls Bernie Sanders.
That guy who has Debbie Wasserman Schultz on his side.
The criminal of criminals.
He's also a pragmatic progressive.
Yes, yes.
And when he works out, he is a walking sprinter.
Pragmatic progressive means I'm not for progressive stuff.
That's what that means.
So Zach Carter tweeted out, Jeffries is a big money Democrat and a member in good standing of Andrew Cuomo's New York machine.
There is no way to spin his victory over Barbara Lee as a sign the party is moving in a progressive direction.
Here's what the outgoing guy, Crowley, the guy Ocasio-Cortez's primary, got rid of the corporatist, who's the outgoing chairman of the caucus.
Here's what he had to say about it.
I'll read it to you if you can't read it because it's too small.
I am incredibly, I am incredibly proud that a fellow New Yorker and my friend will help lead the Democratic caucus.
New York and the country are in good hands with Hakeem.
The guy who's not for Medicare for all, which the whole country's for.
That's how corrupt he is.
That's corruption.
He's a corrupted, lying, corrupted.
This is why half the country doesn't vote.
This is why people don't see a difference between the Democrats and Republicans because this guy's fighting against you.
He doesn't want you to have a living wage.
He doesn't want to end the wars.
He doesn't want you to have the same health care he has in the richest country in the world.
He's in the progressive caucus, by the way.
David Dayon says, are you saying that for caucus chair, Democrats traded a member of the New York big money machine for a member of the New York big money machine?
Yes.
There's another way to describe it.
David Sirota says, Ocasio 2018 voters threw big money Democrat Joe Crowley out of office in a loud demand for progressive change.
And then rather than listening to that electoral message, House Democrats just replaced Joe Crowley with a Crowley-like politician.
Another way to describe it, the way the who called it, meet the new boss, same.
Same as the old boss.
Blue wave, baby.
We won.
Again, this is incrementalism that isn't even incrementing.
You know, in 2014, what Hakeem said regarding Israel, you know, when you live in a tough neighborhood, Israel should not be made to apologize for its strengths, Jeffries declared.
You know why?
Because the only thing that neighbors respect in a tough neighborhood is strength.
What Hakeem Jeffries is, is what we used to call a Republican until Bill Clinton came along.
That's what Hakeem Jeffries is.
A corrupted, bought, and paid-for Republican.
That's what Hakeem Jeffries is.
That's what Nancy Pelosi is.
That's what Chuck Schumer is.
That's why we need a third party.
And if we don't get it, get ready for more shit show.
Get ready for a violent revolution.
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable, said John F. Kennedy.
We don't have time for this.
This is ridiculous.
This is the new leader.
So I don't, again, I don't want to be a naysayer, and I don't want to dampen anyone's enthusiasm in our revolution or brand new Congress or Justice Democrats.
I'm for all those people.
I've said before, I've supported them, had them on my show whenever they ask.
But we don't have time for incrementalism, and that's what this is.
That's what the progressives are now pushing.
We're going to support Nancy Pelosi for a fucking committee assignment?
How do you spell failure?
Do you see the new leader?
This is a new caucus chair.
1.3% of his money in the last election came from small dollar contributions.
Almost none of it.
All his money.
He's so bought and corrupted.
Isn't that something?
Yeah, and just there's nothing pragmatic to just go back to his self-appointed term for himself.
There's nothing pragmatic about an incremental solution for a catastrophic problem.
Wade, so well put.
Say it again, Ron.
There's nothing pragmatic about an incremental solution to a catastrophic problem.
Whew.
you Thank you.
I don't know what to, I don't even know what to do because a third party needs a charismatic leader that can draw other people from the regular parties into the new party.
And does the third, and then if Bernie did that and he brought Tulsi with and all those people, Rochanna and Ocasio, imagine how popular that party would be immediately.
Well, he's the most popular politician in the country.
Imagine how much energy and enthusiasm and all the people who don't vote, how they would now start voting.
It's the only thing that's going to fix this because we've been trying it this way forever and it's not working.
Things are getting way worse.
In case you haven't noticed, 80% of workers live paycheck to paycheck.
Things are really bad right now.
You want four more years of Trump?
This is how you get it.
Incrementalism gets you four more years of Trump.
These are called Faustian bargains.
I'll support Nancy Pelosi if she gives me a committee assignment.
Nothing's changed.
Nothing.
And just as predicted, the money people are not letting go of half of the politicians in the country.
The money people are not letting go.
Well George Cloody's on the line.
Hello.
Hey, bud suck.
Actor, screenwriter, producer, director, activist.
These are terms often used to describe me.
Yes, I used to be the world's most sexy man, according to People magazine.
Whatever that rag anyway, so much fake news.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkomedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right, it was written by Frank Connop, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Samurano, and Mark Van Landowick.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
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