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Sept. 6, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
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20180906_0906_TJDS_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore show.
Oh, hey, look, we have Vince Vaughan on the line.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy, it's Double V, baby.
Hi, Vince.
How are you today?
Jimmy, I am Woozy.
I believe the word is Woozy.
Why woozy?
Fumes, baby!
Fumes from fumes from what?
Well, I don't know if you're aware of this particular phenomenon or not, Jimmy Dore.
But if you pile a bunch of vinyl and rubber sneakers up on the ground, douse them with lighter fluid, and set them the fuck ablaze, and then stand around that pile for an hour, and then decide to roast Bratwurst on that fire in a sort of macho performative He-Man Patriot kind of way, and then eat the Bratwurst.
Well, let's just take some chemicals get into your system.
Okay, I see.
I just had a 10-minute conversation with H.R. Puff and stuff.
Really?
Yeah, did you know he's in a band?
They're extremely popular in Iceland, apparently.
Who knew?
Well, I guess you're burning these shoes as part of the Nike protest, correct?
You hit the nail right on the head, Karen Carpenter.
You bet your ass I am.
So I suppose you are opposed to the Colin Kaepernick's constitutional right to protest police brutality.
Not over the dead bodies of our brave soldiers, he doesn't.
He thinks he looks so cool kneeling down like that.
Whatever.
He looks stupid.
The first time I saw it, I was like, what?
Did Jim Crochie lose a contact lens?
Vince.
And the Nike rewards this shit?
This coward shit?
Give me a break.
I am done.
I'm burning all the shoes, Jimmy.
All the shoes, Jimmy.
What exactly do you think that will accomplish, Vince?
Well, it says a strong message.
Fire always does.
It says a message.
A message that some of us are still patriots that love our country.
And nothing is more American than white people showing that they're angry about a racially pinched topic than burning things.
Just an apple pie of intimidation tactics.
How noble of you.
Thank you.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I got to squirt some more fire juice on the justice pile.
Whoa, baby, that's a flame.
Ha ha!
The color of the smoke comes off this thing, Jimmy.
You should see it.
It's not normal.
And the swirling shapes it makes, I swear I saw the devil's face, Jim.
Just like on 9-11.
It shows you how evil these kicks are, baby.
Satan lives in them.
Well, Vince, I think it's a shame that you can't support someone's right to protest police violence.
What police violence?
Give me a break.
Cops are lambs, Jimmy.
They're kittens.
I know a ton of Chicago cops.
They're always happy to see me.
Hey, Vince Vaughan, they yelled gleefully.
They've never shot me before, and I'm armed.
All right.
Everybody needs to stop being a big crybaby, okay?
Being a special snowflake with their feelings, having a massive overreaction when something happens that they don't like.
Damn, I think I'm out of juice to speaker thing a little too much.
Vince?
Yeah, the smell's coming off this thing now.
Very new.
Previously unsmelled odors.
I can attest to that.
Not normal.
Vince, you should probably back away.
Never.
This is the stink of righteousness.
Also, I'm seeing things more clearly now.
More clearly than I ever have before.
Jimmy, here's baby Jesus.
He's beautiful.
And he's bowling.
Vince, you know, I really think...
Hi, Nana.
Hi, guys.
Vince, you got to get some water or something.
No, no water, only fire.
I see truth now.
Thank you, Colin Kaepernick.
You treasonous jerkface.
For from your iniquity has come enlightenment and revelation.
Vince, get help.
I see James Woods.
Oh, wait.
He's here in real life.
I forgot.
It's still amazing.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
Hey, next live Jimmy Door show, October 12th.
That's a Friday night in Burbank, California.
We'll see you.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for tickets.
October 12th, live Jimmy Door Show.
Special guest, Abby Martin, will be on that show, October 12th.
See you then.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
I just want you to remember while you're watching the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings that the Democrats just agreed with Mitch McConnell to fast-track 15 Trump judicial nominees.
Okay?
I just want you to remember that as you watch that, because I've been watching the Kavanaugh confirmation, and you know, political commentators that make it out like Democrats are actually fighting Republicans are like sports commentators treating the Harlem Globetrotters like a real game.
Hey, I don't know if you saw the Alex Jones-Marco Rubio exchange.
Did you see that?
Marco Rubio had to tell Alex Jones, don't touch me.
That was pretty, it got pretty intense.
We almost, it almost erupted into asshole on asshole violence.
Did you know that Amazon is now worth over $1 trillion?
Amazon is now worth over $1 trillion.
And I swear I'm going to promo code that jerk Jeff Bezos, a new asshole.
And now another amazing Twitter factoid.
Joan Walsh of Salon.com has blocked more people than Jack Cheese.
Cheese binds me up.
You know, Labor Day would actually be much nicer if this country had some real jobs to celebrate, am I right?
Boy, I hope we don't go to war with Russia before Putin can give me notes on my vampire script.
Hey, did you hear they're selling liquor at Disneyland?
Really?
They're now selling liquor at an amusement park.
You know, it's just a matter of time before they open great vomits with Mr. Lincoln.
Uh-oh, so guess what?
Another progressive candidate won an upset victory for a house seat.
Ayanna Presley in Massachusetts 7th District, super progressive.
She just won the primary.
You know, if this keeps happening, Congress might just begin serving the will of the people, and then we'll really be in trouble.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to take a look at the ridiculousness surrounding Colin Kaepernick's latest Nike campaign commercial.
And is it really disrespectful to the military?
Well, a general's going to tell us.
Once again, all the Democrats and fake resistance people are screaming their heads off about something Trump did.
Of course, completely ignoring, once again, that Obama did the exact same thing.
We're going to take a look at it.
Plus, Chuck Todd is upset about conspiracy theorists.
Chuck Todd from NBC News is upset about people spreading conspiracies.
We're going to take a look at the biggest conspiracies ever spread by NBC News.
We got phone calls today from Chuck Schumer calls in.
Plus, Vince Vaughan calls in.
And Rick Perry, the Secretary of Energy.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Door show.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Door show.
I'm here with Ron Placone and Steph San Morano.
Hi, Steph.
Hi, Jimmy.
All right.
So here we go.
Colin Kaepernick is now the Nike spokesmodel, I guess.
So he's going to be the face sentence that says, believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.
Now, Colin Kaepernick decided to, you know, make a statement about police brutality by not by kneeling during the national anthem.
And a lot of people have a hard time with it because everyone knows that because they say it's disrespecting the military and it disrespects the national anthem and it disrespects the flag.
You know, with a flag and, you know, the flag, which is a symbol of freedom and liberty and soldiers.
And everyone knows when soldiers go over to fight in other countries, they're fighting for our right to fall in line and shut our mouths.
I mean, wait a minute.
Isn't that what they're fighting for?
They're fighting for us to shut up, right?
When they go, Steph, when they go over, when a Green Beret goes over there and they fight, or a Navy SEAL, they're fighting for us to shut up and fall in line, right?
And not to fight for our right to vote for the lesser of two evils.
That's right.
They're fighting for that right.
And so that, I mean, it's just, it doesn't take much to make a joke out of the people who are upset with Colin Kaepernick doing it.
Like, that's the coolest thing in the world that a guy who's a millionaire celebrity sports person would give a crap about people he doesn't even personally know people who are targeted by police brutality so that's pretty cool and what is he sacrificing well he sacrificed his career he won he's not being hired so now he has to sue the nfl so he sacrificed the coolest thing in the world a career in the nfl in his prime that's what he's sacrificing and
Just to remind everybody that he decided he wanted to do something that was also respectful.
So here, this is what, where does that come from?
So why is he kneeling?
People, so I just want to break it down.
He's kneeling because he got together with this guy who's a Green Beret.
This guy's named Nate Boyer.
And he told Colin Kaepernick that kneeling would be a respectful way to protest police brutality.
He said it would be a respectful way.
That's a Green Beret.
So he was originally sitting for the National Anthem.
Then he hooks up with this guy who's a Green Beret, Nate Boyer.
Nate Boyer says, hey, more respectful would be kneeling.
So he's doing that on the advice and counsel of a Green Beret.
And again, this is the United States and we have police brutality.
We have an over-militarized, out of control, shoot first, ask questions later.
Their safety is more important than your safety.
Policing culture in America.
And so Nate Boyer's down with it.
He's a Green Beret.
And let's remember where this all started.
Why did, why does, how did this even become a controversy?
I mean, because I remember when I grew up watching the NFL, they'd have the National Anthem and then the players would come out on the field.
They weren't even out on the field.
But that all changed in 2009.
Did you know that?
This is a recent phenomenon.
So we're in these endless wars and the Iraq war, everyone knows, was a lie and people are dying for it.
And the guys who lied us into it don't go to jail.
So people aren't signing up for the military.
There's only the most desperate people now.
People who can't get a job and people who can't afford college.
Hey, we have an economy that makes good jobs rare and college unbelievably expensive.
Ooh.
So there's going to be a lot of people falling into the, so the military decided to attract people to sign up for their military.
Remember, we don't have a draft because if we had a draft, these wars would be over tomorrow.
But since we don't have a draft, these wars can go on forever, which is what they are going on for.
But they're having a hard time getting people to sign up because it's such a shit sandwich of a job.
So they started doing this, having the players come out.
So the NFL is getting paid by the military to promote signing up for military service.
That's why when you go to a football game, it's more like a war rally.
You get, why is the military at the football?
Why the F is the military at a goddamn football game?
It's a goddamn football game.
It has nothing to do with the military.
It has nothing to do with our invading other countries and occupying them.
It has, the football has nothing to do with that.
Nothing.
The reason why they're there is to get young kids to sign up to go kill other people because grown-up people don't want to do it.
That's why that's, that's what this, oh, by the way, here it is.
So let's remember, NFL's tangled ties with the national anthem don't run deep.
The league's players began sharing the field with the Star Spangled Banner only since 2009 during a United States military advertising campaign.
So the military was given millions of dollars to the NFL as an advertising campaign.
They're advertising for people to come join and be killers and get killed.
That's what they're advertising.
And the NFL said, give us your money.
What else you want?
Oh, could you have the players come out during the national anthem?
That'll help get, oh, sure.
Because I didn't, so this is all propaganda.
This isn't really patriotism.
This is the NFL taking money to run propaganda.
And when Colin Kaepernick actually makes a stand and does something real, which isn't propaganda, he gets outed for it.
He gets blackballed.
So I think it's great that Colin Kaepernick is the face of Nike.
And I have a lot of problems with Nike, but that's my problems with global capitalism.
Global capitalism involves taking good jobs in the United States, turning them into crappy jobs, meaning you take away the union, you take away the good pay, you take away the benefits, and then you ship them to a poor people in a more desperate situation in another country.
That's global capitalism.
So that's what Nike does.
So I have a lot of problems with that.
that but this is good what they're doing let me throw it over to my panel steph what do you think it's good uh you know jimmy i was just sitting here and i was thinking about you know the nfl is getting paid like you mentioned they were starting They started to get paid in 2009 to have these players out there.
So, what kind of government do you, what kind of government, what's it called when a government is propagandizing its own people?
Yes, but then also vilifying you if you're not in lockstep with your patriotism.
That's exactly right.
Ron?
I see both sides of it.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What's my original question?
Your original question: Is it a good thing that Colin Kaepernick's doing this?
Oh, that he's kneeling?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That he's working with Nike.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I see both sides of that because, you know, especially since.
Let's bring it back to, do you think it's.
Oh, so do you think it's do you think it's a bad idea that he's the spokesperson?
I would say I think it's a bad idea.
I'm a little torn.
Like, I see the perspective of it is Nike.
They are super despicable.
Not that they're the only company doing despicable things, but I mean, especially since we've had Jim Keating on this show.
Right.
He really lays it out.
And if anyone's seen those videos, they're tough to watch.
It's tough to listen to him talk about the stuff Nike does.
So I do see that perspective.
The other side of it, though, first of all, this is a big F you to the NFL in a really funny way.
And also, he's taken their money to hopefully do something very positive with it.
So he donates, but people don't realize, even though he's been blackballed, he still donated over a million dollars during his time that he's blackballed to needy people.
Yeah, he made that commitment.
And then after he was released from the NFL, he still fulfilled that commitment, which is outstanding.
So I really think, you know, I was just thinking about how you're like, you know, I don't know how I feel about certain things, you know, about Nike.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, but like, how do you feel about when you fill up your tank from BP?
How do you feel about when you go to Starbucks?
Exactly.
Because they have prison mates doing their thing.
Or Victoria's secrets.
Or use an iPhone.
Right.
I mean, so capitalism has exploited every employee, it seems.
Right.
So, like, somebody doing this is pretty spectacular because he has been completely shut out from his career.
So here's the three.
So here's the thing about this.
So the first thing is that I was, I'm like, so Nike made a political, they made an economic calculation that they would make more money doing this than not.
They're not really making a stand.
They're actually figured out that they would make more money because I remember Michael Jordan used to say, they asked him, why isn't he weigh in on politics?
And he would say, hey, Republicans buy Nike's too.
That's what Michael Jordan used to say.
So I think my first reaction was, oh, Nike made a calculation that this is going to make them more money.
Because if this was going to actually cost them money, there's no way Nike would do this, right?
So they've made a calculation that this would cost them money, which made this seem less special to me.
But then Jenk Uger made a point to me and he said, yeah, but you know what this means?
This means that we win.
This means that once capitalism, once the money, like the reason why gay rights happened so quickly was because the money was behind that and that issue, right?
So corporate America was behind it because they had a lot of valuable gay employees and they wanted to keep them and have them happy and healthy and all that stuff.
And so Jenk Uger is making the point that now that Nike's behind it, that means that corporations are against racism.
They're against police brutality.
And that's what this means.
And so in a sense, this means that we've won.
That, you know, there's way more people who are going to respond positively to this.
There's way more people that are going to respond positively to this than negatively.
And Jenk was making the case that 80% of the youth is progressive, which I don't know about those numbers.
I'm not saying they're wrong.
I'm not saying they're right.
I don't know.
But I mean, I certainly don't know how you track that right now.
Right.
So he said, so his thing is that, no, this is a good sign because it means that it's now economically feasible.
It's better economically to not be racist.
It's economically better to stand up against police brutality.
And it's economically better to stand up against the NFL.
So Nike, you know, they're bigger than the NFL.
And so they're going to, who do you think is going to win?
The NFL or Nike?
I think Nike is going to win.
What do you think?
Do you think Nike's going to win this or do you think the NFL is going to win this?
Oh, absolutely.
And the other fun part, too, is that Nike really likes to be, or not, or the NFL really likes to kind of be besties with Nike.
That's why this is a particular, you know, F you to the NFL, which is really cool.
Right.
Would I feel a little better if it was Adidas instead?
Yeah, but it wouldn't be as effective because Nike's bigger.
Right, right.
Well, I mean, is Adidas any better of a corporation?
I mean, isn't everybody except for New Balance?
I think New Balance still makes some of their shoes in the United States.
But let's get into some of the dumb reactions.
So here's someone named Britt McHenry.
Do you know who this is?
I do not.
Neither do I, but she's got a blue check.
And she tweeted out Caller Kaepernick's made a guaranteed $39 million in the NFL.
Now he's pocketing more money in a Nike ad because he knelt on a football field.
That's sacrificing everything.
No, what he sacrificed was his career.
This wasn't a guarantee that he was going to get this.
He sacrificed his career.
That's everything.
His whole livelihood.
That's what they mean.
He doesn't have a contract in the NFL.
So that's what we're talking about.
And I appreciate you pretending not to know what he sacrificed.
It doesn't look shitty on you at all.
That's disrespectful to our military members who've disrespectful to our military members who've truly sacrificed everything.
Again, by the way, the national anthem and the flag isn't just for people in the military.
It's for me.
It's just as much a symbol for me as it is for a military member.
And like Bob Costa said, why do we only ever, at sporting events, why do we only ever give tribute to military people?
There's lots of people who contribute to our society.
There's social workers.
There's teachers.
There's firemen.
Why don't we ever represent?
Why don't we ever give a tribute to these people?
Why are we tending the only way you can serve?
Well, because the military industrial complex is paying for you to think that.
That's why.
Because it's propaganda because they have to keep the war going.
That's why people think that.
That's why people equate the military with the flag and the national anthem and no one else with it.
We're all equally a part of the United States.
We're all citizens.
So she says it's disrespectful to our military members.
Well, here's a general.
Here's General Wesley Clark.
And he says, I don't see kneeling as disrespect for our armed forces or veterans.
It's a statement about the discrimination, prejudices, and injustice.
Justices that still age American society.
Nike and Kaepernick are on the right side of history.
Hashtag take a knee.
So there's a general.
So here's an here's a here's one of the blondest people in America.
And here's a general.
She's saying it's disrespectful.
The general says it isn't.
I'm going to have to defer to her, Jimmy.
So Again, I don't understand.
So you're upset about Colin Kaepernick because he's bringing attention to racism, racist policing in America.
So this is just people who just like, it touches their lizard brain and it excites their racism.
Like they have a little, you know, in them, and then it just, this risk brings it out.
Why would you be upset at this?
This isn't disrespectful to the military.
There's a general tell.
We all know it.
This is just like a weird, this is, if you're upset at Colin Kaepernick, it's like this weird kind of racism that you might not even know that's what it is.
Why are you upset?
It's not disrespectful to the military.
You know what's disrespectful to the military?
Turning a football game into a war rally, having to pay the NFL to do propaganda on people who want to watch a sporting event.
They're doing to recruit 17, 16, 17, and 18-year-old boys to go fight in illegal, stupid wars and get killed and kill poorer people than them.
That's what's disrespectful to the military.
They're not about, it's again, it's not a Department of Defense.
It's a Department of Office.
We've been invading countries all over the goddamn world.
When was the last time we were invaded?
9-11, a couple of guys with box cutters, hijacks and planes.
What, after that, before that, I don't know, 1812?
Well, I think it's important to reiterate the 2009 thing as well, because a lot of people like to throw that argument that I feel is a straw man argument out there where it's like, well, they can be told that they can't kneel and they can be fine because technically they're employees.
Freedom of speech doesn't apply here.
And I'm like, well, were they consulted when they were made marketing voice for the military?
I don't think so.
Hey, by the way, if they make you, if they play the national anthem at your work and they make you stand and salute, you don't have to.
They don't have to.
If they play the national anthem at your work and they make you stand and salute, you don't have to do that.
That's not patriotism.
That's fascism.
That's what they do in North Korea.
Jimmy, I want to add to what I think is actually disrespecting our military is seeing them become homeless.
You know, let's talk about a real issue that you should be up in arms about is the amount of people that have worked in our military who have provided these services to defend our country in these crazy wars.
And when they come back, there's no safety net for them.
There's no mental health services for them.
There's no services for their family.
There's no securing a home for these people.
There's no securing educational access for these people.
And that's what really disrespect of our military is about.
And also responding to one of the blondest people in America is Bernice King.
And what did she say?
She said, Britt.
Britt, you know, Britt is the blondest person right here.
She's the one who's pretending that he didn't sacrifice anything.
And she's pretending that it's disrespectful to the military, no matter how many military people tell her it's not.
So Bernice King said, Colin is not protesting the anthem because she had a tweet.
By the way, she deleted it.
This Brit, the blonde Brit.
And the tweet said it was disrespectful to the national anthem.
Well, Colin, she says, Colin is not protesting the anthem, but racism, which continues to plague our nation and world.
My father was devoted to eradicating racism and expressed concern about white moderates who are more devoted to order than to justice.
You're here.
I invite you to study Martin Luther King at the King Center.
I like that.
White moderates more devoted to order than to justice.
And that's what this is.
And here's some more dumb takes on this.
Standing is a sign of honor and respect.
Those in a courtroom stand when the judge or the jury enters or exits the courtroom.
Guests stand when the bride walks down the aisle.
You stand when you recite the Pledge of Allegiance and you stand during the national anthem.
That's somebody named Dummy.
And then she said, so what you're saying is kneeling to pray is disrespectful to God?
Here's my favorite.
Here's the people burning their Nike shoes.
By the way, I heard, I haven't seen an actual news report, but someone tweeted out that a bunch of people are up at the emergency rooms because they're burning their Nike clothes without taking them off first.
I don't know if that's true, but here we go.
These people are not geniuses.
Here we go.
I'm going to enjoy.
Hell, I'm going to go buy some Adidas.
You know how many other sneakers there are to buy to choose from?
You're going to go ahead.
You're going to go ahead and say, hey, buy them our shoes.
We stand with people who kneel for the national anthem.
Well, sorry, Nike.
There you go.
There you go.
He's done.
He's burning his Nikes.
So someone else said, this is what you do when you can't find a cross to burn.
I liked his monologue there.
It was like he either wasn't prepared or is the slowest reader ever.
I'm not going to stand with people that are like, hey, you're going to.
Yeah.
And for some reason, his audio got cut off at the end.
There's a little bit more to that.
I don't know what happened.
But yeah, it was funny.
His big pause.
It's like they're saying, hey.
My mind.
So this is my favorite thing, by the way, now about this.
So get this.
Nathan Peterman, this is the Buffalo Bills.
They tweeted out.
Nathan Peterman has been named our starting quarterback for Go Bills for the Buffalo Bills.
Nathan Peterman.
He started one game last year.
He threw five interceptions.
He's their starting quarterback, which means there's two quarterbacks worse than him on the team.
So this guy, Jimmy Trana, says, I'm not a lawyer, but can't Colin Kaepernick just show up to court with this tweet and win his case against the NFL?
Yes.
So it's obvious there's collusion happening and that Colin Kaepernick is being shut out of the NFL.
And he's got it.
So he's got a lawsuit against it.
And he should win.
But, you know, of course, lawsuits, we don't know.
But there you go.
There's some of the dumber takes.
Well, we even laid it out last year when the Tennessee Titans needed a mobile quarterback, which is Colin Kaepernick.
Like we laid it out and other shows laid it out too.
And instead, I think they called somebody from the arena leagues or something instead.
No kidding.
So they ran the kind of offense that suited Colin Kaepernick's playing style, the running mobile.
Mobile, yeah.
Mobile quarterback.
I used to call it run and shoot when I was a kid.
And they didn't.
And they didn't go get him.
They went and got someone way worse than him.
So this is obvious what's happening.
And I hate to tell, I don't know how to tell you, but if you're upset about Colin Kaepernick protesting police brutality, you're a bootlicker.
You're a goddamn bootlicker.
And if you think you're supporting The military.
The military is supposed to be supporting our right to peacefully protest in the United States.
That's what it's all about.
They're supposed to be defending the Constitution, which is freedom of speech, which is the freedom to dissent.
That's what the whole deal is in the United States.
So this is you're a bootlicker or you're or it's this is exciting you're inner racist or both.
You could be a bootlicker and a racist.
I know many people like that.
So that's what's going on here.
And thank God for Nike for doing this and making all the bootlicking racists' head explode.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
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Hello.
Hello, man or woo man of the house.
This is Department of Energy czar, Rick Perry, here for all of the above Ernerg.
Would you be interested in taking a poll about RNA?
Okay.
Thank you.
Are you happy with your current energy provider?
Not really.
Would you like a better return on your electrocidity investments?
I guess so.
Here now is a short survey regarding our energy and meeting our current energy needs.
Are you ready?
Okay.
Which one of these energy sources should the United States of Americans concentrate on the most?
A all B, new Carler.
C, pure clean coal.
D, solar.
Ouch, the sun hurts my skin.
E, wind.
Ah, goddamn, I got something in my eye because the wind blew it in there.
Or F, all of the above except solar and wind.
I chose solar and wind.
May you please hold a moment while I check your responses with the answer key.
Answer key.
Okay, I am returned.
You answered wrong.
You can't chose solar and wind.
Why not?
Because it's multiple choice, and you can only choose one.
And solar and wind are two.
That's not how you do multiple choice.
I'm an expert on multiple choice.
It's my test of choice.
If I had a multiple choice about my favorite kind of tests, guess what my favorite answer would be?
Multiple choice?
Yes.
Because why?
Because it's your favorite type of test?
Because it's my favorite type of test.
That's why.
That's how I became Yale leader at Texas AM.
Multiple choice.
Okay, but the rest of the energy sources you gave all create dangerous pollution.
Isn't that a big problem, Rick?
No, it is not a big problem because of this reason.
The problem with energy isn't pollution, it's the distribution.
Think about it.
Then how do you solve the distribution problem?
Easy.
We privatize our distribution needs to the hundreds of Amazon fulfillment centers around the country.
In the futures, all of the above will be packed in boxes and delivered by drone except solar and wind.
But wouldn't it be dangerous to use drones to deliver explosive material to people's houses?
Of course not.
We do that every day in Muslim countries.
And so far, not one American consumer has filed a lawsuit.
All of the above.
Think about it.
So wait, what are the choices again?
That's easy.
Oil, nuclear, and pure clean, pure clean something.
What was it again?
Not fair.
This wasn't a multiple choice.
Think about it.
All of the above.
All right.
Oops.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to Jimmy Door Show.
I'm here with Steph Samurano and Ron Placone.
Hello.
Hello.
So here we go again.
You know, the theme of this show is that Trump is a symptom of our problems.
Trump is a problem, but he's a symptom of a greater problem.
And the greater problem is what led us there.
And that is that both political parties have stopped representing their electorate, right?
So the Democrats turn their back on working people.
When you have two parties in bed with the military-industrial complex and they both turn their back on workers, you get a right-wing demagogue.
So that and half the country not participating in elections.
People who voted twice for Barack Obama didn't show up to vote for.
So that's so we got to keep the eye on the problem.
And the problem is right now, the Democrats are going along with Trump, too.
They just increased his military budget by $80 billion.
He's a maniac.
Let's give him $80 billion more for war.
Hey, he's a mentoring candidate.
He's actually working against us and working for Russia.
Here's $80 billion more for Obama.
And we're going to expand your spying powers too.
Go ahead, Trump.
So we like to look at the process to see what I'm doing to see the problem now.
So we like to look at the problem that gave us Trump, and that's what no one's doing.
Everyone, all the neoliberals are trying to pretend that Trump is the problem and that everything he's doing is unique to Trump, which what I predicted, what we predicted on this show, is that Trump will put an ugly face on the horrible stuff that our government is already doing.
Here's another example.
This is from CNN, breaking news.
President Trump is canceling a planned pay raise for federal workers, saying the nation's budget can't support it.
So here's a tweet.
So let me get this straight.
We could afford a $1 trillion tax break for the wealthiest 1% of this country, but we can't afford $25 billion for a pay raise for federal employees, aka those people actually doing the work for this country.
This is BS, and it is BS.
And this is another, this is stupid.
This is a horrible thing that Trump is doing.
It's counterproductive.
They're not going to pay workers.
So everyone who makes their money not working gets more money, but the people who actually work don't.
So that's horrible.
That's bad what Trump is doing.
So people always say, you don't do any stories about horrible.
This is stupid, horrible.
Pretending we don't have the money to pay workers.
David Axelrod, remember Barack Obama's former staffer?
He says, to state the obvious, denying federal workers a pay raise because you've lavished a trillion dollars of tax cuts on corporations and the wealthy, creating massive new deficits is beyond outrageous.
I agree.
I agree, David Axelrod.
That is outrageous.
That is horrible what Trump is doing.
And then my friend Kamala Harris as a cop says it's almost as shitty as bailing out the banks while 10 million people were losing their homes.
Nailed it.
So again, he's trying.
So here he is pretending that Trump is the monster.
And here she is reminding, no, we got Trump because you guys were fucking monsters.
That's why we got Trump, because you guys were monsters and they had nowhere to turn.
So people went against the establishment.
That's why Trump became the nominee and the Republican Party beat all those establishment guys, every one of them.
And that's why Bernie Sanders had to be cheated out of winning his primary.
And then, of course, Hillary Clinton lost to the anti-establishment candidate because she was the emblematic of the establishment.
So thank you, Kamala Harris is a cop.
And then Eric Holder said, Trump decides no raises for federal employees.
What about your trillion-dollar tax cut for corporations and your fat cat friends?
You gave them a raise.
How much did Trump get in the tax cut?
Trump cancels pay raises for federal employees.
So that's Eric Holder, who spent his entire life defending from criminal prosecution fat cats and corporations and Wall Street criminal bankers.
Now he's pointing the finger at Donald Trump.
It would be funny if it wasn't so distasteful.
I just want to remind Eric Holder and David Axelrod that Barack Obama, amid deficit fears, Obama freezes pay of federal workers.
President Obama on Monday announced a two-year pay freeze for civilian federal workers as he sought to address concerns over high annual deficits and appealed to Republicans to find a common approach to restoring the nation's economic and fiscal health.
So after giving trillions of dollars to Wall Street, we have deficits.
And now who's going to pay for it?
The federal workers.
Guess who's doing the exact same goddamn thing?
Trump.
Trump cancels pay raises for federal employees.
He freezes their pay because of deficits.
Guess who did the exact same goddamn thing?
Barack Obama.
Guess who tries to act like this is new?
Eric Holder and David Axelrod.
So, I mean, we could do this all day.
Here's part of that.
The hard truth is that getting this deficit under control is going to require some broad sacrifice.
And that sacrifice must be shared by employees of the federal government.
Mr. Obama told reporters.
You know who doesn't have to require some broad sacrifice?
You know who doesn't share in sacrifice?
Wall Street bankers.
The people whose tax cuts you made permanent.
Matt Stoller says 14,000 retweets for an Eric Holder tweet criticizing Trump for something Obama also did.
This is pathological.
This is pathological.
Let me throw it over to my panel.
This is pathological.
Well, how many times do you talk to your friends that were supporting another candidate and you say, hey, the reason why we have Trump is because of the Democrats lost to Trump and they just kind of, they don't have anything to say.
And right now, there are more people that would rather talk about the tears of angels about John McCain's death than really talk about the shitstorm for regular everyday Americans.
That's exactly right, Steph.
And when you're saying that they're going to go ahead and hold off paying the federal employees a livable wage, they've got plenty of money for war.
Plenty of money.
Just gave him an $80 billion extra for war this year alone.
They got the money.
We have the money.
We have the money to end home.
We can end homelessness in America for $20 billion.
End it.
We can end world, you know, you can end world hunger for $30 billion.
So anyway, Ron.
Yeah, I mean, people love to have amnesia.
And this is certainly, I mean, this is just what got us here because people felt desperate.
So they bought some snake oil from Trump.
Trump sold a bunch of lies, but the platform was set for him to sell those lies.
He ran to the left of Hillary Clinton.
Donald Trump ran to the left of Hillary Clinton on trade.
He did.
On healthcare.
He said, we're going to give everybody health care and government's going to take care of it.
He didn't do that.
He's doing the exact opposite, but he ran.
He offered people something.
Hillary Clinton didn't offer anybody anything.
You know what she offered competence.
I'm going to be competent.
I'm qualified.
So this is pathological.
And this isn't stopping.
And they're never going to stop doing this.
Right now, people, they're still top to bottom.
The establishment reporters, establishment news people, they're all pretending that the problem is Donald Trump and not what gave us Donald Trump.
And we aren't what, and that's why we're here.
That's why we have a show to remind people that Donald Trump is not an anomaly.
He's the logical conclusion of 40 years of neoliberalism that threw workers overboard a long fucking time ago.
And the reason they do that, the reason the establishment press pretends like Trump's some anomaly and everything was hunky-dory until Trump got here is because their paychecks are dependent on making it seem like this system should be revered.
Yeah.
It shouldn't be revered.
It should be exposed.
That's why you can only tell the truth if you're on a comedy show.
Words of wisdom.
So Chuck Todd tweeted this out.
Now, you know the biggest...
Chuck Todd tweeted this out.
He said, I missed the days when people muttered nutty conspiracy theories to themselves while meandering down a sidewalk.
Now they share it on Twitter with millions of followers.
And for some reason, some folks amplify it.
Treat these tweets the way you'd treat the sidewalk mumbler.
Look away.
So that's Chuck Todd telling you like, I'll be the arbiter of what's crazy and what's not.
What I tweeted out was I missed the days when guys like Chuck, who were actively propping up Trump via the Trump, via the Pied Piper strategy, would call progressives nutty conspiracy theorists because they thought the media and the DNC were cheating Bernie and rigging a primary.
Then Weekly Leagues proved it was true.
Hashtag Pied Piper.
But here's the, so I show you that because the real slam dunk is coming right here.
And it's Glenn Greenwald.
And he says, remember those days when people muttered nutty conspiracy theories about Saddam having an alliance with Osama bin Laden, building a major nuclear arsenal and participating in the 9-11 attack?
But they didn't mutter those on sidewalks, but on major news outlets, and then they all got promoted for it.
Yeah, that's what the biggest conspiracy of my life was the Iraq war.
And then the war crimes ordered afterwards to cover it up because that's why they ordered those war crimes.
Torture.
That's why they don't torture people to get information.
You torture people to get them to say something you want them to say.
So I thought that was a bit of a slam dunk for Glenn Greenwald.
What is this?
So he doesn't realize that just a few years ago, every news organization in the country was pushing a debunked, now debunked conspiracy theory at the top of their lungs.
Do you know that Brian Williams on NBC News, the host of NBC News, got fired for lying about the Iraq war?
Do you know, but that wasn't the biggest lie.
He was there.
That's called stolen valor, what Brian Williams did.
That would got him in trouble.
He said he took enemy fire when he didn't.
But you know what his real crime was, Brian Williams?
He used to bring on generals, retired generals onto his news show.
And what we thought they were doing was giving us the straped dope about the Iraq war so we, as an informed electorate, can make our informed opinions and decisions about it.
But what Brian Williams didn't tell you was that those generals weren't objective observers, that they were in fact being paid by defense contractors to come on his show and lobby for more war and even sometimes specific weapons of war made by the defense contractor that was paying the general.
Brian Williams never told you those generals were being paid by defense contractors.
That's called a breach in ethics.
He never told you that.
You know who did tell you?
The guy who told you won the Pulitzer Prize for it in the New York Times.
Brian Williams still never told his listeners and his viewers that the people coming on to talk about the Iraq war were being paid by defense contractors.
He never told them.
And now Brian Williams has another show on MSNBC called The 11th Hour, where he gets to have orgasmic moments looking at missile launches.
So I don't, I don't get like what, like, Chuck Todd, not a smart guy.
So if you ever watch broadcast news, Chuck Todd is William Hurt.
He's not the brightest.
But he gets the job because why?
Because he's willing to do the, he doesn't even, he doesn't even probably know why that's stupid, what he tweeted.
I guess he doesn't remember what NBC News was doing during the Iraq war.
And right now, what everyone's doing, pushing this Russia Gate thing, which let's be honest, has zero evidence of collusion.
Lots of evidence of financial misdealings between Trump and everybody else.
And all, yes.
So again, right in the middle of pushing another conspiracy theory, he tweets this out.
I'll throw it over to my panel.
Anything?
Chuck Todd is like that little kid that like parrots a combination of things they heard adults say and then they repeat it and they get praise from it.
Like people think it's funny and pat them on the back, but they don't really know what they just said.
Right.
Like Chuck Todd is the newsman version of that.
And to like constantly berate anybody with a dissenting opinion and saying that we're mumblers or we're crazy isn't serving democracy.
So when you push it, when you push a war or a conspiracy for a war, you're called a patriot.
When you push back against a war, an illegal war, that's bullshit, the news calls you a conspiracy theorist.
CNN, because we push back against the lies that are the Syrian war, they've called us at this show that.
Why?
Because we go against the war narrative.
Chuck Todd pushes the war narrative, and that's not conspiracy.
That's not crazy.
He's sane.
The Iraq war made a lot of sense.
He's sane.
Libya overthrowing Muamar Gaddafi illegally.
That made a lot of sense.
Now they have open slave trading happening in Libya.
It's a failed state, haven for terrorists.
Same thing in Syria, doing the bidding of the terrorists in Syria trying to overthrow a secular government.
It really is incredible where we have every American right now.
The majority of Americans are what?
$500 away from a disaster in their life.
Right.
And there's this constant increased spending of our military budget.
And people think you're crazy when you want peace.
Yes, when you want to end the wars.
Well, let's read.
So here's some of that con you remember the crazy conspiracies that people mutter on Twitter?
Well, here's one from NBC News.
There was constant discussion about him hiding out in caves.
And I think many times the American people have a perception that it's a little hole dug out of a side of a mountain.
Oh, no.
This is it.
This is a fortress, a complex, multi-tiered bedrooms and offices on the top, as you can see.
Secret exits on the side and on the bottom.
Cut deep to avoid thermal detection.
A ventilation system to allow people to breathe and to carry on.
The entrances large enough to drive trucks and even tanks.
All made up.
None of that's true.
All made up.
None of it is true.
That's all a big, crazy conspiracy.
That's tinfoil hat, crazy conspiracy stuff, except it's happening right on meet the press.
And watch how, yeah, now this guy's going to pop.
Now watch the deaf secretary of defense is going to even add more to the lie.
Even computer systems and telephone systems, it's a very sophisticated operation.
Oh, you bet.
This is serious business.
And there's not one of those.
There are many of those.
There's none of those.
These guys spun conspiracy, crazy, wacky conspiracies, and guys like Tim Russert helped them.
Guys like Chuck Todd helped them.
Guys like Brian Williams, they did the conspiracy spinning for them.
These guys are crazy tinfoil hat.
These guys are crazier than Alex Jones.
You know why?
Because Alex Jones never started a freaking war and lied about it.
You know who did?
Don Rumpfeld.
You know who helped him?
Tim Russert and NBC News.
You tell me who's you tell me who's really detrimental to our society.
These motherfuckers, I think they are.
Everyone, most people I know watch Alex Jones as a comedy show.
People actually take Chuck Todd, Tim Russert, Donald Rumsfeld, NBC News, Meet the Press.
They take that stuff seriously.
So that's why when they spin conspiracies like this that are completely crazy tinfoil hat mental stuff, but why are they doing it?
Because they want to start an illegal war and then the media helps them go right along with it.
And then Chuck Todd has the balls to tweet out about someone else as a conspiracy theorist.
And you wonder why people get their news from YouTube.
And by the way, tip of the hat, Adam Johnson found that video and he tweeted it out.
Go ahead, Ron.
Well, I was just going to say the difference is these are establishment-approved conspiracy theories.
When you parrot uncritically establishment-approved conspiracy theories, you're just making journalistic mistakes.
Yeah.
It's those other theories that goes against the establishment.
Then you're bad.
That's when you're correct.
Exactly, Ron.
So they just all got it wrong.
It was just bad intelligence.
That's what Chuck Todd will tell you.
We just got it wrong.
So exactly what Ron says.
So when you're pushing the lie, the propaganda that props up the establishment and the government, you're just making journalistic mistakes.
When you actually call those mother effers out for their lies and journalists and mistakes, that's why they call you a crazy cuckoo conspiracy theorist.
Why?
Because you don't believe in conspiracies.
Oh, I forgot to mention that last night on the show.
So this happens a lot.
When people don't buy into conspiracies, like right now, I keep asking for evidence of collusion, of treason, of the fact that Trump is a Manchurian candidate.
I keep asking for evidence of this wild conspiracy theory people have.
It's ubiquitous.
People will literally say, oh, Jimmy, Jimmy's a conspiracy theorist.
And people will say, why?
And they'll say, because he doesn't believe that Russia hacked our election.
So what they're actually saying is they're calling people a conspiracy theorist who don't believe in conspiracies.
So do you see why that term was invented?
The Term conspiracy theorist was invented by the CIA to discredit people who are onto their bullshit.
And so now people use it just to discredit you if they disagree with you.
That's exactly what's happening.
And when the people get caught, so when the powerful people, the establishment people get caught making up conspiracies that actually lead to illegal wars, are they embarrassed?
They're not only not embarrassed, but they put on a black tie and go make jokes about it.
That's what they do.
those weapons of mass destruction gotta be somewhere nope no weapons over there Maybe under here.
And then they laugh right in your face.
He laughed right.
Hey, remember when we lied and everybody in the news repeated that Saddam was working with Al-Qaeda and had weapons of mass destruction and that we invaded them illegally.
We did it all for oil.
Remember that?
Wasn't that funny?
I'd like to know the people that attended that correspondence dinner.
How many of their children participate in the military and they think that's so funny?
I know, right?
Exactly.
Is there anybody there who's got a dead kid in the military who's laughing over these jokes?
I wonder.
Who's in that room that thinks it's so fucking funny?
We can't find the weapons of mass destruction.
Well, look, look where this is from.
This is from the rate.
This is from the Washington Correspondents Association dinner.
That's where this is from.
So all the reporters are in there laughing.
And now you know why the country is in the state it is because we don't have a fourth estate anymore.
The criminals bought the news people.
They're applauding a war criminal joking about the lie he told to get us to start an illegal war.
And this is the president that people say, you know, I really miss President Bush.
Like Bush was bad, but Trump is how many illegal wars has Trump started so far?
I think he's just maintaining.
In fact, Trump didn't want to bomb Syria and everybody was giving him a hard time about it.
They even helped to explode his military budget just in case.
They did, just in case, just in case Trump was a little bit more.
He's so crazy.
They help to increase his military budget.
That's how crazy Trump is, everybody.
And then let's praise him when he does drop bombs.
He's such a knee-jerk, crazy reactionary, but he's presidential.
When he bombs people.
Yeah, that Chuck Manson is crazy, unless he's bombing someone.
So there you go.
So now you know why people get their news from YouTube.
And now you know why Chuck Todd has that job.
Tuck Todd has that job, not because he's evil, but because he's dumb enough to push evil unwittingly.
That's why.
That's all those people are, except for Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes.
They know what they're doing, which makes them worse than Chuck Todd because they're smart enough to know that they are tools of an in they are cogs of an evil wheel.
Is that the right?
That's not right.
Yeah, I think Chuck Todd could have made a fine actor, but he had problems memorizing the lines.
So he's like, I can read this shit every day.
Okay.
Yeah, just read it.
This is my gig.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there you go.
There's your news media that doesn't spin conspiracy theories, except they spin the biggest ones always.
Now, now, Chuck Todd, I bet he's going to go tell you how much Medicare costs more than our regular system.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, it's Chuck Schumer, Master of the Senate.
Hello.
Hello, Jimmy.
It was I, Chuck Schumer, master of the Senate.
But I am no longer master of the Senate, for I am now Chuck Schumer.
Ineffectual waste of space in the Senate.
Let me see if I get this straight, Chuck.
You're utterly useless and admitting you're admitting you're utterly useless will inspire millions of disaffected voters.
Big blue wave, Jimmy.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoracomedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right, it was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Samurano, and Mark Van Landwich.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Do not do not.
Do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
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