All Episodes
Previous Next
Feb. 10, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
58:51
20180210_0209_TJDS_PODCAST
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
George Clooney's on the phone.
Hello.
Hey, Cham.
How are you?
Look, I know Valentine's Day is next week, and I just want to say ahead of time, hey, bro, I'm sorry.
We're all rooting for you, though, champ, really.
What are you talking about?
Speaking of which, my wife, Amal, she just turned 40.
In human years, have you ever seen a 40-year-old gazelle?
Just like that.
I don't mention my two kids.
They're perfect.
The one snores like a hina.
The other glides on the kitchen floor like a goddamn pleosaur.
Can't help that.
Kids, right?
Have you ever seen our dog?
I didn't know you had a dog.
I can't find him anywhere.
Never mind that, Jimmy.
Time to focus.
I have something important to tell you.
Are you ready?
Uma Thurman's car accident was the biggest regret of my life.
That and giving Matthew Broderick the keys to my BMW in 1987.
I didn't know you had anything to do with that.
I gave him the keys to that Beamer 316 at the bar, dude.
No, I'm talking about Uma Thurman's accident.
I gotcha.
Also, I might have banged her once a few hundred times.
No, I'm talking about her accident on the set of Kill Bill.
Oh, gotcha again.
Well, in theory, I wasn't involved with Uma's accident, but I could have done something if my super PAC had been up and running, right, Champ Ranger?
Anyway, I feel a collective responsibility for what happened by not being there with my super PAC.
You have a super PAC?
Nobody ever really has a super PAC, big boy.
It's just, it's just there floating around.
You know what I mean?
It's like a big trash can.
And every few months, you dump in a lot of wrinkled old $100 bills.
And before you know it, millions of dollars are wasted on a shitty candidate.
No one wants to admit they hate.
But what could you have possibly done about Uma?
That's not the question we ask in such a situation, Jiminy.
What we should ask is how could you have possibly done?
And then you express your vulnerability as a sensitive leading man with a chiseled jaw with just a little cleft in his chip for texture.
Understand me, bud.
But I could have done something.
I could have written her a letter as my dog Einstein.
I just did that a lot with my wife, Amal, who is a celebrated lawyer.
She just turned 40.
She had a little like a champ, by the way.
You wrote her letters as your dog?
Yeah, it was wild.
Einstein, my dog, I'd say, hey, get me out of here.
I'm being held hostage in a little room and I need a lawyer, stuff like that.
And she was all like, but I'm a human rights lawyer and I'm in court right now, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Julian Assange, blah, blah, blah.
Stop pretending to be your fucking dog.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So what happened?
We got married and I saddled her with twins big time.
And all of a sudden, my life changed.
Oh, and Greece still hasn't gotten their Elgin marbles back.
Rough, rough.
Hey, Pale, I gotta go.
It's lunchtime, and the twins they like sea monsters.
My biggest commercial success was Ocean's Eleven.
Ocean's Eleven.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for the lefties.
The kind of people that are.
Commands maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk in your TV.
I mean, it's hard to talk in your TV.
And now here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
Yeah.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Hey, we're going to see you February 24th in San Diego and March 25th in Austin, Texas.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for tickets.
Our February 16th show's already sold out.
Hey, let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
George Bush is out.
He's opining on the Russia Gate.
And let me just say, I wish the thousands who died from George W. Bush's criminal incompetence were alive to hear his words of wisdom today, don't you?
I really do.
You know, I'm fine with a national prayer breakfast, but I think the only food served should be that which is acquired by prayer.
How about that?
Hey, did you hear it?
Say it is Black History Month, and in honor of Black History Month, the Trump White House is paying tribute to Ike Turner.
Wow.
Hey, did you hear the Eagles and Jimmy Buffet are touring together?
Whoa.
Yeah.
Ticket prices start at you gotta be kidding me and they go up to your entire 401k.
Hey, did you hear Steve Wynn's in hot water?
Steve Wynn, the guy who started the Bellagio.
He owns the Wynn Resounds hotels in Vegas.
Steve Wynn, he's stepping down as CEO of Wynn Resorts.
A casino owner facing multiple charges of sexual harassment has only one option.
Form an exploratory committee to run for the GOP presidential nomination.
Am I right?
Come on.
Am I right?
Hey, did you hear Newsweek fired a bunch of top editors?
Did you hear about that?
Yeah.
I never knew you could fire spellcheck.
Seriously.
Looking at some Newsweek headlines, you'd think they'd have the same editorial gatekeepers as Tumblr.
Hey, Adam Schiff asked people if they had his back because he was engaging in a Twitter war with Donald Trump.
To show your support, you can buy a t-shirt that has his new slogan on it.
I'm with him.
Hey, great approach, though, Adam.
You know what they say?
Fight fire with fire and you can be in Congress.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
NBC, often accused of working with the CIA, decided, F it.
We're just going to hire that former head of the CIA to give you the truth about everything happening in the world.
No kidding.
NBC hired CIA boss for a newsroll.
We'll talk about that.
Plus, hey, the FBI's got a great idea.
They're forming a task force to start monitoring social media for infidels.
Finally.
Finally.
Finally, the great people at the FBI.
Hey, is that a good idea or a bad idea?
The answer just may surprise you at how bad of an idea that is.
Plus, Amazon invents a vibrating wristband to help control workers.
Doesn't sound creepy at all.
Employer of the year.
Employer of the year, Jeff Bezos.
Plus, we got phone calls today.
Well, you heard George Clooney.
Plus, coming up, Vladimir Putin calls, Chuck Schuber, and Harrison Ford.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Hi, everybody.
I'm here with Ron Placone.
How are you?
Hey, Jimmy.
So, you know, we've talked about briefly about how the new censorship is the government tells private corporations who to censor and they do it.
Right.
So Facebook is doing that at the behest of the government, turning off people's Facebook pages and things like that, especially if you're a Palestinian and you have something to say about Israel.
So, and we've also talked about the influence of the CIA in our media.
The church report with the commission, which was in the 70s, the late 70s, and talked about how the CIA had infiltrated newsrooms of newspapers and magazines.
And it was unbelievable, right?
And so here we are again.
We showed you before MSNBC's intelligence reporter is CIA.
We showed you that before.
This guy, he now works for MSNBC.
He was part of that incorrectly reported story.
The last latest incorrect Trump-Russia collusion reported story that they all got wrong somehow the same way.
Somehow they all got it wrong the same way.
CBS, NBC, MSNBC.
So there he is.
So we showed you that.
So it's still happening today.
And now, guess what?
Former CIA director John Brennan is now the senior national security and intelligence analyst for NBC News and MSNBC.
What could possibly go wrong?
So now they don't even need to get a reporter anymore.
They just go ahead and send the guy.
They just send the, it used to be like before with Trump, with the president, the president would hire a secretary of state, secretary of state would have a meeting with the head of the oil companies, then they'd go invade a country at their behest.
Now Trump just appointed the head of the oil company as Secretary of State.
That's exactly what they're doing.
We're like, well, we used to have the CIA would give money to one of our reporters.
They'd come on the air.
Now we just get the guy from the CIA and we call it news.
And we call it news.
Now, remember, the reason why we went to the Iraq war is because our news media lied to us and they led us into the Iraq war, right?
Especially Brian Williams at NBC News.
What he did was he would bring on generals, retired generals and military people, and they were supposed to give us a straight dope on what was happening in Iraq.
Turns out all those people that were supposed to be giving us a straight dope were actually being paid by defense contractors to advocate for more war and even specific types of weapons.
Brian Williams never told us that.
So we got lied to by NBC News about the war.
The guy who did tell us that NBC News was doing that won a Pulitzer Prize for it in the New York Times.
Brian Williams still never told you that, told us that, even after that.
So that's what's wrong.
And here we go again.
And if you want to know who this guy is, first of all, the guy, he likes torture.
He defended it.
There have been a lot of, this is from him.
There have been a lot of information that has come out from these interrogation procedures that the agency has, in fact, used against the real hardcore terrorists.
It has saved lives.
That's John Brennan, NBC news guy.
NBC news guy advocating for the darkest stuff you can as a human being, war crimes, torturing defenseless people.
That's what he advocates.
It saves lives.
But we have no evidence that he advocates torture for the softcore terrorists.
Not so.
It's just the hardcore wines.
He's hardcore.
He's a moderate.
The ones who use double dildos, I guess, when they're doing their terrorism.
That's a hardcore terrorist.
Here he is.
Here he is, Harry, as again, defending torture.
Brennan rejected allegations by the Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee that so-called enhanced interrogation techniques used on dozens of detainees produce no actionable intelligence.
Our reviews indicate that the detention and interrogation program produced useful intelligence that helped the United States thwart attack plans, capture terrorists, and save lives.
There he is again.
Hey, torture saves lives.
That's the guy in public with a suit on in front of cameras.
Torture's good, saves lives.
I got no problems with it.
He's now the NBC news guy.
That's who's going to, they called that guy to tell you the truth about what's happening right now in the world.
That guy.
That's the guy, the NBC News.
That's the guy they're supposed to be finding out exactly how hard he's lying.
They're not supposed to pay him money to come out and lie to you, but that's what they're doing.
And people say Alex Jones is crazy.
NBC News literally has the fucking CIA guy as their guy.
What?
You're supposed to quote the CIA guy and then tell me why he's lying.
You're not supposed to bring him on as a truth teller, which is what they're doing.
And I'm not saying that he's not only a truth teller, a liar, but he spied on your government.
Not for your government.
He spied on your government.
John Brennan spied on your government that was investigating CIA's criminality.
So they're all committing war crimes.
Our own Senate decides to investigate them.
They spy on the Senate illegally.
You think I'm kidding?
And then they deny it.
Here's John Brennan denying it.
As far as the allegations of CIA hacking to semi-computers, nothing could be further from the truth.
We wouldn't do that.
I mean, that's just beyond the scope of reason.
That's beyond the scope of reason.
That's beyond the scope.
You're a crazy person if you think that we would.
That's beyond.
They would never, I mean, except for, oh, that's, again, in front of cameras, defending torture, lying that it works.
Not only defending it, but lying that it works, and then lying that you're spying on our government.
That's amazing, right?
Yeah, well, here's the best part.
Now he can just substitute the word we for they, and he's got his first news report.
Yeah.
Oh, they never do that.
More at 11.
Here's Trevor Tim.
He says, hey, remember when NBC news analyst John Brennan blatantly lied to NBC's Andrea Mitchell about using the CIA to spy on Democratic staffers investigating torture?
Yeah, I remember.
The Guardian says John Brennan defends drone attacks as he prepares.
The guy's for drone attacks.
He's for torture.
He's for spying on our own government.
Glenn Greenwald said he also spouted, this is from an article when he was being nominated for the CIA post the second time.
The first time he was too toxic because he had worked in the Bush White House and overseen all the torture.
And this time, the next time, it was okay.
Barack Obama had completely rehabilitated all the Iraq war criminals and he became CIA head.
And so this is what Glenn Rent wrote back then.
He said he also spouted complete, though highly influential falsehoods to the world in the immediate aftermath of the Osama bin Laden killing, including claiming that bin Laden engaged in a firefight.
Didn't happen.
He lied about that.
And with the Navy SEALs, and he had used his wife as a human shield.
That also didn't happen.
So if you want what didn't happen, if you want to get your news report wrong and shaded in the CIA lies, John Brennan's your guy.
Brennan last year caught outright lying when he claimed Obama's drone program caused no civilian deaths in Pakistan over the prior year.
So it's been proven He knew, of course, it killed civilians.
And Brennan has also been in charge of many of Obama's most controversial and radical policies, including signature strikes in Yemen, targeting people without even knowing who they are, and generally seizing the power to determine who will be marked for execution without any due process, oversight, or transparency.
So that's Brennan was in charge of doing that.
So he's a really nice guy.
He's a really nice guy.
He's a killer, killing people, doesn't even know they are, targeting them, lying about it, lies about killing civilians to the public and to the press, lies about spying on our own government, spied on our own government.
That sounds like stuff Russia would do, except it's okay for that guy to do.
And now he's going to tell you that Russia is spying on our government, although he's the one who did it.
Isn't that wild?
Yeah.
In 1976, when he voted for the president, he voted for the communist.
He voted for the Communist Party in 1976.
I'm not kidding.
And then in 1980 is when he went and took his lie detector tests so he can become going to the intelligence community.
And he was asked about it.
Isn't that amazing?
And he still passed.
They said, oh, here's your security clearance.
You just voted for a communist.
No big deal.
Now, all you have to do is look the wrong way to Russian.
And you're, I ate some pot.
I ate pasta Putinesca.
Oh, my God.
All you have to do is say, hey, maybe we shouldn't start a World War III.
You're a Putin puppet.
No, I just said we shouldn't start World War.
Putin puppet.
Not a patriot.
Not a patriot.
This guy literally voted for a communist in 1976.
He's done a full 180, man.
He started as a communist sympathizer and now he's just an author of war porn fan fiction.
Yep.
You know, I talk about, boy, I would love to see how hard Chris Hayes wagged his finger at him for not voting for one of the two main parties, right?
That guy, he not only did he not vote for Jill Stein, this guy voted for a Communist Party.
How big of a finger wagging would he get from Chris Hayes today, huh?
You'd have to look him in the eyes for a while.
Yeah.
Could you look me in the eyes and tell me you voted for a communist?
So that's who he is.
Oh, by the way, so he voted for the communists in 1976, but now, but when there ever was an actual Cold War, now there's another one started by guys like this.
Isn't that ironic?
He's on both sides of it.
So he spies on our government, votes for communists, and now he gets to say someone else is spying on our government and is a communist.
Isn't that weird?
You'd think he would be disqualified.
He's disqualified in my opinion, but that's exactly the kind of scummy dudes they like in the intelligence community.
And it's exactly the kind of scummy dudes they like in the establishment press.
NBC's paying that guy to tell you the truth about something, which is not gunning.
He's going to lie to you.
And so here, get this.
Talk about how Orwellian this is.
Here, he's going to let you know that even if you don't know you're committing treason, you probably already are.
I have studied Russian intelligence activities over the years and have seen it again manifest in many different of our counterintelligence cases and how they have been able to get people, including inside of CIA, to become treasonous.
And frequently, individuals who go along that treasonous path do not even realize they're along that path until it gets to be a bit too late.
And that's why I'm starting the Ministry of Thought Police.
Right?
Yeah, dude.
Right?
That's what that sounds like.
That's what that sounds like.
You didn't even know you're committing treason.
Come with me.
What?
We have this machine.
It'll fix you.
Yes.
We figured out you didn't even know it, but you're working against our government.
What?
You didn't even know it.
But apparently, this guy gets to spy on our own government and vote for a communist party, but somehow he's not considered a Putin puppet or a Russian bot or anything.
Isn't that wild?
Yeah, it's okay now.
In fact, he gets to tell you who's the enemy of our, he's the enemy.
He spotted our own goddamn government that was investigating him.
And again, if you're no one ever has to pay a price at the top of government, right?
Nobody in the war crimers, nobody who got us into the Iraq war, lied us into the Iraq war into an illegal war, killed hundreds, if not millions, hundreds of thousands, not millions of people.
This guy spies on our own Senate intelligence committee that's investigating him.
Nothing happens.
He lies about it publicly.
Then all they have to do is just apologize.
Oh, okay.
David Petraeus.
David Petraeus, he reveals top-level secrets.
Nothing happens to him.
But if you're a low-level soldier and you take a picture onside of a nuclear submarine, you're going to be in prison.
And that's a fact.
That happened.
You take a selfie on a nuclear submarine, you're going to prison.
But if you're the general, you could give all our, you could give classified information to a reporter because you're banging her, which is what Petraeus did.
And there you go.
You don't even know you're committing treason.
These are the people who NBC wants on their news team.
Glenn Greenwald says, isn't it a little strange to constantly rail about state TV when it comes to RT and Fox and then hire CIA directors and generals as your news analysts?
Yeah.
That's a little strange.
Also, remember this, anyone who likes to rail about state TV should, I don't know what that is.
I didn't see that link.
He also says, just what NBC and MSNBC were lacking, the CIA's view.
So that's what I was thinking.
I was thinking they're just being resourceful here.
Instead of, you know, getting a press release and then copying and pasting it into a template, well, now they skip that middle step.
They got the guy.
He can just write it himself.
What's the point of having Ken Dillian NBC?
Oh, that's the guy we just showed you.
What's the point of having him to serve as a vessel for CIA messaging when you just get it directly from the horse's mouth under the guise of news?
Because that's what this is.
This is CIA talking points and they're calling it news.
Just like when Brian Williams used to bring on defense contractor paid generals advocating for more war because they're being paid to, and he doesn't tell you.
So NBC has a track record of doing the government's bidding.
They all do.
They all do.
MSNBC fired Phil Donovan because he was against the Iraq and Iraq war.
Anybody who's against the ROAR had to get out of there.
And that's why when you watch MSNBC today, and you know they're not doing their job because anybody who tells the truth and speaks truth to power gets fired from that station.
Ashley Banfield, Ed Schultz, Phil Donahue.
Anybody who tells the truth gets fired from that network.
And the minute Rachel Maddow says something that costs that station a nickel, that costs Comcast a nickel, she will be fired.
The minute she says something that costs them a nickel, she will be fired.
He also goes, this is from RT.
I like this.
It says, internal Pentagon documents referred to.
So they talked about this.
They did it in the New York Times at an expose on how the intelligence community infiltrates the news again.
And in it, that RT is requesting their reporting and they say internal Pentagon documents referred to them, meaning people from the CIA who they get on television, as message force multipliers.
or surrogates who could be counted on to deliver administration themes and messages to millions of Americans in the form of their own opinions.
Propagandists.
Propaganda.
PR writers.
That's called a propagandist, right, Ron?
Yeah.
Yep.
So if you want propaganda, you should watch NBC News and MSNBC.
If you don't want propaganda, you have to go to YouTube.
And they are throttling the hell out of our show, by the way.
Our show used to regularly get 200,000, 300,000 views.
And CBS News and MSNBC News used to get literally four and 500 views on their videos.
Because nobody goes to YouTube to watch those goddamn channels.
And now, and now we're lucky we break 60, 70,000 views.
And Rachel Maddow, I mean, MSNBC and just generic CNN clips are getting million views.
No one wants to see Wolf Blitzer.
Nobody.
Nobody wants to see Chris Cuobo or the people who host the CBS morning show.
Nobody's clicking to see them.
They're being force-fed those videos.
And they're throttling us.
I'm not making this up.
So there's a little bit more.
This is from RT.
You know, the presence of former military and intelligence officials in the newsroom was once thought controversial.
You would think, right?
Yeah, it seems like a no-brainer.
Can you imagine when you were reporting on Vietnam?
If you just had, yeah, your newsroom was populated with generals and CIA people who lied us into it.
Isn't that amazing?
In 2008, the New York Times wrote an investigative analysis outlining the George W. Bush administration's use of military analysts to shape terrorism coverage.
Oh, that came, so that should have been first.
And then that's what Internal Pentagon documents referred to them as Message Force Multiplier.
So I had that switch, but there you go.
So thank God NBC is giving the CIA heads a job.
We're also hoping they'd be on the unemployment line, right?
Very progressive of them.
Very progressive of them.
I wish somebody would invite an event another YouTube, but it's not happening.
It's not going to happen.
People keep saying, go into this platform, go to that platform.
We're going to have to eventually.
We rely on your, right now, we don't rely on YouTube's advertising because we can't.
Because at one point, their advertising was zero dollars for shows like us.
And they've admitted that they're throttling.
They're doing things to stuff like this.
And now they're going to be doing it under the guise of fighting Russians.
So they're throttling independent news shows.
They're unsubscribing people.
And this is what they want you to watch.
They want you to watch John Brennan on NBC.
I'm not making that up.
That's happening.
You can disagree on why it's happening.
It's happening.
And you could call anybody you want, a conspiracy theorist.
It's not a conspiracy that it's happening.
Oh, we get emails and there are screenshots with those emails.
So, I mean, unless a large, large group of people all over the world are playing a really good prank on us, it's happening.
So this is just, I happen to be on my phone on my YouTube channel today, and I noticed underneath one of my videos, the recommended videos, right?
So here's videos from the last couple of weeks.
Pope Shames of Sex Abuses in Chile, 45,000 views.
Daily Beast makes strong push for WWE 3, 64,000 views.
A lot of people say, well, that seems pretty good.
Those are big clickable stories, right?
I expect it to generate a lot more traffic than they did.
Because look what we used to get.
This is a year ago, right?
Rachel Meadow has lost her mind and people are noticing 351,000 views.
That's just a regular.
Why Brexit is good for working people is clear in clear, simple terms.
368,000 views.
Why would that be clickbaity?
That's just a story.
That's what we used to normally generate because our show is fucking popular and people like this show.
And people are getting news here that they can't get other places.
Like we just showed you what NBC is going to be feeding you for the next year.
And look at this at the bottom.
Julian Assange explains why the Democrats are doomed.
200,000 views.
That's just a regular normal video.
That's nothing special about that video.
I mean, that's a, I don't know what, 300,000?
They're throttling us?
200,000.
I mean, it's crazy what's happening.
Here's what Secular Talk says.
Secular Talk says they demonetize us.
They use the algorithm to deprioritize us, our content, even though it's colossally popular.
Now, this is a blatant attempt to crack down further on independent outlets under the guise of policing foreign spies and fake news.
And what did he talk?
What did he link to?
This story, which we're going to do a video on ourselves.
Top Intel Dev Warrens, foreign spies could be manipulating YouTube.
Wow.
So I don't know how much more they can throttle our shows, but they are.
So, and how do they do stuff like that?
Well, so when your video of this ends, the next video up will probably be an MSNBC video or a CBS news video or a CNN video.
And then our videos will never get pushed like that.
And only people who already know about our show will be able to see our videos or be pushed our videos.
People who are already subscribed, they push those other videos.
So it's happening.
So, and that's, I mean, right now, independent news is more important than ever, especially, and it's patting myself on the back, but especially shows like this, especially shows like Kyle's.
Because Kyle has got the Russia narrative correct.
Secular talk has that issue correct.
I can't think of another lefty show that has it correct besides Kyle and this show.
Can you think of another lefty show that has Louis Camp, of course?
Yeah, that would be.
I don't know.
I haven't watched Tim Black, but I'm guessing.
Well, I was going to say, Jimmy, the one bright side of all this is if somebody clicks on our Rachel Maddow is losing her mind and people are noticing video, the next video that comes up will likely be an example of what we're talking about.
Got to see the positive.
Yeah, got to see the po.
Oh, the humanist report, I'm pretty sure, also is getting the Russia story, right?
Yes.
I don't have time to watch a lot of videos.
So I love those guys.
I love all those shows.
And I watch them as much as I can, but you know me.
So we rely on you to make this happen.
And they're making it harder than ever.
And this kind of a story should highlight if it doesn't have your hair on fire, it should.
And that's why I just want to say thanks for supporting you because we rely on you.
Right now, we can't rely on other things.
We rely on you to support this show.
Thanks for being a patron.
We give you tons of extra content.
We also have live shows.
We're doing one February 24th in San Diego.
We're doing March 25th in Austin.
And we're doing February 16th here in Burbank, California, plus more stuff.
There's all the links.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Thanks for your support.
Hey, everybody, this is the part of the show where I usually tell you to go to our Amazon.com link.
You know, we don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon.
But if you do, we say have some of that money go to a progressive show like the Jimmy Dore show.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon.
Doesn't cost you anything, but it's a big help to the show.
So the next time you want to buy something from Amazon, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Our Amazon box is right on the front page.
Click it.
It takes you to Amazon.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
But we have a new thing, a new way if you could help support us.
Well, you can become a premium member.
You already know about that, and I'll tell you about it at the end of the show.
But we started a Patreon, right?
So because a lot of people feel more comfortable using Patreon than using PayPal or Amazon.
So that's another way you can help support the show.
We have a Patreon link.
Just go to patreon.com/slash jimmydoor, patreon.com/slash jimmydore.
Go there.
You can become a patron of the Jimmy Door show.
And you know what matters more now than ever because our show has really blown up and gotten way more popular since we've been going on YouTube.
But we've gotten over a quarter million subscribers.
And so things are really happening.
And except YouTube pulled our funding out from underneath us, right?
So they don't want independent news anymore.
And YouTube's offering establishment news.
They're actually offering for a fee.
So they're funding independent news people like us.
So that's why we're offering Patreon.
That's why we're offering a premium.
That's why we offer the Amazon all these different ways.
And plus, we have the t-shirts.
We have all these different ways where you can help support the Jimmy Dore show.
So thanks for doing that.
And if you're more comfortable with Patreon, use our Patreon link.
If you're more comfortable using our PayPal, become a premium member.
So there's lots of different ways to support the show.
Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
Hey, this episode of the Jimmy Door Show was brought to you by the new Showtime comedy series, our cartoon president, our cartoon president, is the only show that dares to wonder what Trump's life is like inside the White House.
What is he doing between the time he spends live tweeting in the news and rare occasions that he's not?
How does he balance work, fat life, and family life?
And how does he make his kids feel like valued members of his team?
How does he make valued members of his team know their kids are more valuable than the team that they are?
Showtime and Stephen Colbert present the president in a way that's hopefully pure fiction.
It's our cartoon president.
Don't miss a new episode Sunday at 8 p.m. only on Showtime.
It catches the series premiere on YouTube.
Now that's the Kremlin phone ringing.
I wonder who this could be.
Hello.
Hello, GB Door.
So we meet again on the phone, huh?
What a coincidence how you should be so near your communication device, just as I am calling you.
Perhaps some sort of investigation is in order, no?
Vladimir Putin, what have you been up to lately?
Oh, the usual taking shirt off and swimming in Icy Lake, playing reef at Volgograd in front of young women dressed in Soviet uniforms to mark historic Battle of Stalingrad, that kind of stuff.
Thank you for asking, Jimmy.
Why do you do that at Volgograd when you're commemorating Stalingrad?
Oh, brother, because we renamed Stalingrad to the nicer name of Volgograd 57 years ago, because Joe Stalin did a few bad things.
But during holidays, we still call it Stalingrad.
What did you mean by hot chicks?
All I can say is they were Stalin-esque.
Russian women love Joseph Stalin.
He's back, yo.
Before I go on, may I say something that needs to be off of my chest?
Yes.
Uma Furman's car crash was the biggest regret of my life.
It's true.
You're behind everything.
Hey, I wouldn't ask my actors to do anything I wouldn't do myself.
But I'm not perfect.
I can't be everywhere at once.
I tested that stunt out my own self.
2003 was a busy year for me.
What with masterminding John Kerry's electoral buffet?
I mean, it was obvious that was my monstrous Hundred work.
Why else would a Democrat lose to someone like George W. Bush?
Your presidential election's coming up in March.
What's your strategy for victory?
Low voter turnout.
Russia owes so much to American democracy.
Why are we not friends?
Our intelligence community isn't liking Russia lately.
That's weird.
Because I am a friend of FBI and CIA and MSA.
And also the Toy Hoy.
What does the Toy Hoy stand for?
It stands for that's one I haven't heard of yet.
Very secret.
In fact, it is so secret it doesn't exist until someone starts talking about it.
Then it automatically receives funding and respect.
But right now, we can't talk about it because that would be compromising an out-of-control spy agency with unlimited funding.
So which one of your opponents is your biggest threat in the election?
Right now, it's a race between old demon lady who lives in Hut near Swamp, a guy named Vasily the Unlucky, and a giant turnip.
So I'd have to say, giant turnip, he seems in better health than the rest.
And people really like turnips around here.
So there's that.
But I think even he's losing favor with the people.
Why?
Did the old demon lady put an evil spell on the turnip or something?
Don't be silly.
The turnip just came out against universal health care.
That is end placone.
Hello, Jimmy.
Great news.
I don't know if you heard, but the FBI is setting up a task force to monitor social media.
You know, in case the commies, even though there aren't any communists anymore, you know, the Reds, you know, the Russians, what could go wrong?
So just like we've been saying, it's incredible to me that people who do what they consider to be lefty news shows have no sense of history because they don't know what they're doing is fueling their own demise by pushing Russia Gate.
Number one, I've seen people on lefty news shows who push Russia Gate talk like it's someone else fucking doing it.
It's mind-blowing.
Again, there's only a handful of lefty news shows that aren't pushing the Russagate thing that I know of in the whole goddamn country.
So why would this be a bad idea to then let the FBI have a task force to monitor social media?
What?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because the FBI spied on Nelson Mandela in 1990 as a communist threat.
Really?
That was just a one-time thing.
Yeah, they never did anything else weird.
I mean, hey.
The Bureau also considered Americans calling for an end to apartheid to be funded by the Communist Party USA.
Two bad apples.
Just two.
Going so far to label Representative Charles Hayes, a Democrat from Illinois, a former member of the Communist Party.
The document reveals that just as it did in the 1950s and 60s with Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement, the FBI aggressively investigated the United States and South African anti-apartheid movements as communist plots imperiling American security.
This is what the intelligence community does.
You're a communist and we're investigating you.
Milson Mandela.
And anybody who is against the apartheid state in South Africa, you're a communist.
What?
Ultimately, what the documents reveal is the FBI's unflagging conflation of social justice efforts with security threats.
Oh, just like we've been saying, you knuckleheads on the left pushing Russia gate.
What you're doing is fueling the FBI to shut you fucking down because you have no sense of history and Trump excites your lizard brain so your rational thinking skills and your critical thinking skills go out the window and you push a Russia Red Scare 2 and you don't even realize you're sowing your own demise.
FBI's unflagging conflation of social justice efforts with security threats and the FBI's cartoonish obsession with Communist Party subversion in the United States, even as the Cold War itself crumbled into obsolescence.
Didn't matter there wasn't even a Cold War anymore.
They had a cartoonish obsession with communism.
The African National Congress was also considered, quote, you ready for this?
A known Soviet front group by the FBI.
That was a long time ago.
They didn't do that.
I mean, there was no.
They never said like the FBI or anyone.
They never accuse people of infiltrating Black Lives Matter.
That's never been.
They never.
Here's Chomsky to let you know about what the FBI did.
Here it's kind of interesting because you can't do experiments in history.
But here, history was kind enough to set one up for us.
The Watergate exposures happened to take place at exactly the same time as another set of exposures, namely the exposures of COINTELPRO.
Oh, sorry, I have to explain that.
It's interesting that I have to explain it because it's.
So he says to the reporter interviewing him, it's interesting that I have to explain that to you because he was in the middle of explaining to him that real subversion never and real Melfit never gets reported in the press.
He said, they talked about Watergate, but they never told you about COINTELPRO.
And that guy says, I never heard of it.
He goes, well, you're proving my point.
That's way more significant than Watergate.
That already makes my point.
COINTELPRO was a program of subversion carried out not by a couple of petty crooks, but by the National Political Police, the FBI.
The National Political Police, the FBI.
Under four administrations.
Under four administrations.
Again, in the late Eisenhower administration, ran up to...
The Socialist Workers Party was one tiny fragment of it.
It began by the time it got through.
I won't run through the whole story.
It was aimed at the entire new left, at the women's movement, at the whole black movement.
It was extremely broad.
Its actions went as far as political assassination.
Now, what's the difference?
It covered everybody, the women's movement, the black civil rights movement, anybody on the Socialist Workers' Party, anybody, anti-war people, anybody.
You're just all of a sudden you're a red, and we're investigating you and we're surveilling you to the point to where they did assassinations.
The FBI's use of its counterterrorism authorities in recent years, but that was old time, right?
That was old.
That was before.
Yeah, that hasn't happened.
That hasn't happened.
We're not seeing history repeat itself in real time.
Not at all.
The FBI's use of counterterrorism authorities in recent years have demonstrated a deep-seated political bias.
The FBI has consistently monitored groups it conceded were nonviolent on the grounds that violent activists might someday overtake them.
This is what dictators say.
We're doing this for your own safety.
We're getting out rid of outside agitators.
This could be true of any civil society group, but the FBI doesn't monitor just any group.
It singles out for counterterrorism investigation groups like Anti-War School of the Americas.
Watch, that's one.
So there's the new School of America that we train basically people to go kill their own guerrillas to go kill their own people.
Or Occupy Wall Street movement.
Those are the kind of groups that the FBI singles out for counterterrorism investigations.
Occupy Wall Street.
Just as was true in the time of J. Edgar Hoover, the FBI has an institutional bias toward believing that movements for economic justice, racial justice, or peace are inherently suspicious.
This is serious.
So there is zero reason to believe that its social media task force would not hold those same political biases.
And to make matters worse, many arguing for such actions demonstrate these very political biases themselves.
Given the Bureau's investigation into the Trump campaign's possible collusion with Russia, the FBI has acquired a semi-heroic status among some on the left who wrongly view it as a check on Trump.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The FBI is not a check on Trump.
The FBI is a goddamn rogue organization that undermines the left constantly.
And you prop them up at your own demise.
I'm the fucking dumbest guy with a news show and I know better than that.
You know why?
Because I don't allow Trump to excite my fucking lizard brain.
Neither does Ron.
You don't let Trump steal your critical thinking skills so you unwittingly end up pushing a Red Scare McCarthyism and World War III.
Yeah, and let's just point out again, like these organizations, the FBI, they don't like Trump, but they don't like Trump for all the wrong reasons.
All the wrong reasons.
They don't like him because they're worried he'll say something they don't want the public to hear.
That's why they don't like him.
But focusing progressive energy on a defense of the FBI's integrity has serious drawbacks.
No kidding, you think?
The FBI was recently exposed for having drafted a report on black identity extremism, which seeks to blame African Americans concerned with police racism for violence committed against police officers.
So pushing Russia Gate, you're also pushing this.
Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, any other jag off on the internet who considers themselves left.
If you're pushing this, you're not.
You're doing the bidding of the right wing.
They seem to blame African Americans concerned with police racism for violence committed against police officers.
Trump's second Muslim ban cites as its justification two terror plots manufactured by FBI paid informants.
During his nomination, Trump's FBI director, Christopher Wray, declined to say whether he'd refused to spy on mosques.
Ray did tell Congress that the FBI was investigating anarchist extremists motivated to commit violence by Antifa ideology.
This is the FBI that the left is defending right now because of Trump.
Thanks to Russia Gate, there's increasingly less space for criticisms of these actions to be aired.
Whatever conspiracy theories the right may promulgate about the FBI, it isn't very concerned with surveillance of left-wing movements or Muslims.
And the left will find it difficult to try to raise public trust in the FBI while raising awareness about its continued threat to civil liberties.
The FBI needs heavy scrutiny from the left.
Such a great point.
And that includes the FBI's social media task force.
Efforts to counter Russia propaganda have not focused merely on Trump.
Some of the leading fearmongers about Russian interference have consistently conflated political views that they don't like with a foreign attack on our democracy.
Some of the leading fearmongers about Russian interference have consistently conflated political views they don't like with a foreign attack on our democracy.
It's worth repeating.
Yes.
It's worth repeating.
Yes.
RT's coverage of Occupy Wall Street, social media ads promoting Black Lives Matter, and congressional attempts to block U.S. military aid to alleged neo-Nazi militia in Ukraine have all been cited as examples of Russian propaganda reach within the United States.
So when RT covers Occupy Wall Street, that's considered propaganda by the FBI.
Black Lives Matter ads on Facebook, that's also considered propaganda by the Russians.
Of all the possible bodies to be given the power to delegitimize online speech, the FBI may well be the worst.
But go ahead, go watch your other lefty news shows.
You know, the ones who are pro-fucking Palestinian bombing and they're also pro-Russia gate.
You're not a left show and you're not a critical thinker.
You're just boring and wrong and you're destructive.
I mean, the biggest theme here, and it's a cliche, but in this case, it's very, very true.
Those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
And, you know, if anyone tuning in when you don't realize that throughout most of it, I was sarcastic to the nth degree.
We are seeing history repeat itself in real time, except instead of the civil rights movement, it's now Black Lives Matter.
And instead of the Black Panther Party, it's Dapple.
The same thing as Occupy Wall Street.
Instead of the Socialist Worker Party, it's Occupy Wall Street.
Yes.
There are parallels.
And the fucking left, the people who call themselves lefty news people are right now in the middle of propping up the FBI and Russia Gate.
Instead of pushing back and telling people, this is ridiculous.
Do you know everything Russ is accused of doing in our election, we do everywhere else?
Even if Russia did it, we do it everywhere.
This is standard operating procedure.
And so when you push this, you're pushing bullshit propaganda.
People say, oh, you know what, Trump, though, I know why Trump's a Manchurian candidate, Ron, because he did money laundering for Russian oligarchs.
And so Russian oligarchs work for oligarchs work for Putin.
So that's why he's a Putin bot.
And the oligarchs only live in Russia or here, right?
Right?
They don't live anywhere else.
Bill Clinton got half a million dollars put right in his pocket by the Kremlin Bank.
That was nothing, though.
They all fucking do it.
They put $142 million into the Clinton Foundation, but that was because they want to do charity, right?
What the fuck?
And yeah, you should be pissed off about this.
Yeah, because people on the left are doing this to themselves.
And when they wake up, it's going to be too fucking late.
It's already too late.
They're already not talking about the shit that Trump's doing in lieu of talking about this shit.
Russian bots on Twitter.
You're a news show and you're doing that as a serious fucking news show segment.
Jesus F and fucking Christ.
I didn't go to Harvard.
I didn't go to fucking Cornell.
I didn't go to Princeton.
I went to Illinois State and Columbia College.
And so why it makes me so mad is because I know those people who went to those better colleges know fucking better than what they're doing.
And for them to let their lizard brain be excited because of Trump and then I'll have them deceive everyone who tunes to them for the news is disgusting.
And an unbelievable letdown that will have unbelievable destructive consequences.
It's already having consequences.
Alternate's being throttled.
Truth dig, truth out.
We're being throttled.
It's already happening.
If you turn on a news show and they spend 45 minutes out of an hour talking about Trump and Russia, stop watching that fucking news show because it's polluting your brain.
And even if the people doing it are well-intentioned, they're fucking you.
Hey, guess what?
You know, we've talked about the success of capitalism, right?
The success in the United States of capitalism has taken the richest country in the world and rendered 63% of its residents unable to afford a $1,000 emergency.
So that's capitalism success story.
Another big success story would be Walmart, right?
Such one of the biggest retailers in the country.
And, you know, lots of their workers are on food stamps and relief.
Huge asset to every community.
Huge asset to every community.
And Amazon, we've showed you how lots of their employees are on food stamps and what have you.
And they have no anyway.
But guess what?
They have a new thing.
Amazon patents wristband that tracks work warehouse workers' movements.
Totally not creepy.
Not disturbing at all.
Not at all.
Amazon has patented designs for a wristband that can precisely track where warehouse employees are placing their hands and use vibrations to nudge them in a different direction.
That's like borderline shock treatment.
Like something you do to train an animal.
That's almost crossing into that line, isn't it?
You're right there.
You're right.
I mean, it's like in that territory.
Like that is beyond not okay.
We could have a playlist at this point, like just entitled Jeff Bezos is the shittiest boss ever with all like the stuff we've done.
The concept, which aims to streamline the fulfillment of orders, it's all about orders, fulfilling them, streamlining fulfillers, adds another layer of surveillance to an all-really challenging working environment.
You know, the answer, well, let's get to the whole problem before I give you the answer to this problem.
When someone orders a product from Amazon, the details are transmitted to the handheld computers that all warehouse staff carry.
Upon receiving the order details, the worker must rush to retrieve the product from one of many inventory bins or shelves, pack it into a delivery box, and move on to the next assignment.
Well, that doesn't sound awkward.
I mean, I worked in a warehouse.
You know, we rushed.
But it's funny, I'll often get a box.
Like Amazon will deliver a box and they'll put it inside a bigger box.
And then they'll fill it with that plastic, puffed up plastic so it doesn't jerk around.
It's already a box.
Like just put the address label on that box, but they'll take another shipping box, put it in that box.
I'm going to start videotaping it and putting it up on a channel just called Box in a Box.
I'm going to do that.
That's my new idea.
Box in a box.
Because we get a lot of things that are delivered to us because you can't get them any other way sometimes.
And they'll often put a box in a box.
And by the way, you know, well, let's get through all this.
The proposed wristbands would use ultrasonic tracking to identify the precision location of a worker's hands as they retrieve items.
One of the patents outlines a haptic feedback system that would vibrate against the wearer's skin to point their hand in the right direction.
Now, that actually sounds helpful.
I know that's that can't be, it can't be what it sounds like because it's actually if I'm if I'm looking for stuff, like if I go to my cupboard and if some oh, it's over here, this that's where the honey is.
Okay, I would appreciate that.
What if you need to sneeze?
What if you're in the process and you have to go because you have to sneeze?
I don't know.
Does it give you a little jolt?
Like, oh, nope, not supposed to go there.
Well, what's the result, Rod?
The result is humid workers can fulfill more orders until robots develop the dexterity to replace them altogether.
Sleep tight, sleep tight.
So, could you, I just, all these stories, you know, there's this thing called inverted totalitarianism that this guy from Canada, Shellon Woland, talked about.
And it's all about how some of it is about how that you feel insecure in general, which people don't want to engage in politics.
Then, then they look for politics just to protect them, right?
Which is why that makes them ripe for right-wing demigods, things like that.
And it just seems like we just have that.
Everyone seems to be stressed in the United States.
Everyone seems to be treading water, worrying about getting sick, about their job, about paying for this, paying for that, college, medicine, healthcare.
It just seems unbelievable.
Housing everyone seems, and of course, the income inequality is, you know, at record paces inside the United States, which is a great precursor for murder and violence.
And, well, I don't know.
So, this sounds again, it sounds horrible.
Everything they do sounds horrible.
Yeah.
Jeff Bezos is worth over $100 billion.
How much money do you need?
How much more money do you need to streamline?
Do you know what I mean?
Jeff Bezos read 1984 in high school and was really confused as to who the protagonist actually was.
And it's messed him up ever since.
Yeah.
Well, there you go.
Isn't that funny?
Let's end the segment.
Oh, okay.
I got to end this.
Every funnybody's got a buzz in my seat.
Jeff Bezos wants me to end this.
Time's up.
Thank you.
Wow, it's Harrison Ford on the line.
Hello.
Who's this?
Is this Harrison Ford?
No, this is Jimmy Door.
I know.
I don't mean, hey, am I talking to Harrison Ford?
I mean, hey, am I Harrison Ford?
Yes, you are Harrison Ford.
That's a relief.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
I haven't heard from Harrison in a while.
It must be because he hasn't crashed into anything lately.
Well, big wrong arena on that one, mister.
I'm constantly crashing into things.
You just don't hear about it.
Speaking of crashing, I'm teaming up with Liam Nason on a project.
Are you familiar with him?
Uh, yes.
It's an action movie.
The plot is basically the two of us in a big warehouse, and we're counting our money.
Then one of us trips over a gold bar and breaks his hip.
From then on, it's a subtle psychological thriller involving the question of early retirement and cannibalism.
Cannibalism, when is it okay?
And is it possible to get over the bad publicity?
Have you ever been forced to consume human flesh, Jimmy?
I mean, forced to.
No, me neither.
In my case, both parties consented to it.
That makes all the difference in the survival game, buddy.
And I'm an expert at survival.
I'm grizzled and scruffy and wear a white goatee.
I've peeked over the abyss into the valley of death too many times to mention.
Don't fuck with me.
I'll crash land a 1929 open-top pipeline on your ass so fast, your plastic bow tie will spin and emit puffs of white smoke.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call.
We have time in the podcast, but we save it for the premium.
And how do you become a premium, Bever?
You go to jimmydoorcombody.com, click join premium.
There's a couple of different levels now.
But if you just want to be an audio premium, just to have it go right into your audio holes in your head, you could get that, I think, still for the most affordable premium program in the business.
I think it's still $5 a month for the audio.
Plus, we offer video and lots more stuff if you become a Jimmy Door premium, Bever.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Check it out.
New website and everything.
Okay, hey.
All right.
Today's show was written by Rod Placone, Mike McRae, Jim Earl, Frank Cottip, and Steph Zavarado.
All the voices today performed by Mike McRae.
You can be found at MikeMcRay.com.
That's it for this week until next week.
This is Jimmy Door saying you'd be the best you can be.
And I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not getting it.
Do not freak out.
▲
Export Selection