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Feb. 3, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:34
20180203_0202_TJDS_PODCAST
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, look, we have Mel Gibson on the phone.
Hey, Mel.
Oh, hi, Jimmy.
How are you?
Really good to talk to you.
I heard you got a new project you're working on.
Oh, really?
I didn't hear anything about that.
Oh, come on, Mel.
Don't be coy.
Okay, all right.
You got me.
We are in the early stages of development for my next project, like you said.
Which is a sequel to the Passion of the Christ, Passion of the Christ 2.
And it's totally real?
Totally real.
Not a joke.
I know it sounds like a joke or a sketch or something, but I guarantee you this is 100% real and really happening.
That's amazing, Mel.
What compelled you to make a sequel to this almost 15-year-old movie?
Well, as a devout Catholic, I felt that I could do more to tell the story of the life of Jesus Christ.
Or I should say, as a devout Catholic with an anger management problem, the story of the life of Jesus Christ.
You got a little bit of an anger thing yourself, don't you, Jimmy?
No, I do not.
Come on, I can hear the storms in you from here over the phone.
Okay, maybe.
I knew it.
I can always tell a fellow traveler.
What's your handle, Booze?
Not really.
Just medical marijuana and sugar.
Candy bars cool me down sometimes.
Ah, candy boss.
Good choice.
What's your poison, Twix?
I like a good whatchamacallit, or a hundred grand.
Ah, deep cuts very off the grid.
I buy them by the 12-pack, so I know I always have them around.
I'm gonna mail you a giant shipment of candy bars, Jimmy, as a prank.
You don't have to do that.
Well, you're the one who told me about it.
So if you get shaked by a pack of Snickers, it'll be your fault.
Okay, so what can we expect with this sequel?
Well, we'll keep the elements from the original that everyone loved.
The violence, the fact that all the dialogue is in Aramaic and Latin and no one can understand it.
The portrayal of Jews as baby-eating five-ish finals.
But then a few new elements and surprises.
For example, we all know that Jesus was resurrected.
That's no surprise.
I mean, that's why I'm going to heaven no matter what I do.
But did you know that when he was resurrected and returned to earth, that he was even more ripped than he was before?
I mean, he had abs before and pretty good definition, but when he came back, he had obliques and everything.
It was amazing.
We're putting Jim Caviesel through the ringer as we speak.
These workouts are intense.
We got a CrossFit guy and an exorcist working on him.
Is this in the Bible?
I mean, do you base these movies on the Bible?
You know, it's interesting, Jimmy.
The Bible doesn't actually say much about Jesus.
That's why we'll have to put these pieces back together on our own.
I see.
We do get admittedly a little loose with the scriptures.
I mean, I'm a paleo-Catholic with a deep respect for the word, but I'm also a Hollywood guy with a deep respect for story and spectacle.
You know, the number one criticism of the original Passion of the Christ was that there weren't enough explosions.
At first, I dismissed that criticism as ridiculous, considering there were no explosives in the first century AD.
But in the past 15 years, of slowly going insane, I've come around to see that point.
Okay.
There will be a lot more explosions in the second one.
Because keep in mind, he's resurrected now.
He just can do whatever he wants.
He can make explosions happen.
He can blow up bad guys.
He's basically a superhero now.
In fact, we are in talks to see if we can't include this project in the Marvel cinematic universe somehow.
Have a teaser at the end with Iron Man.
Maybe set up future films with Guardians of the Galaxy.
Are you kidding me?
Jimmy, please tell me your theology isn't so rigid that you don't realize that just because the guardians of the galaxy are not explicitly mentioned in the gospels, that doesn't mean the gospels preclude the existence of the guardians of the galaxy.
I really don't think.
Wow, it's John Calvin over here, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, Mel, I'll be looking forward to this project.
Thanks, Jimmy, and I am too.
I look forward to this being a huge success.
Then me falling off the wagon, then me going on a racist tirade in the most obviously audio-taped environment imaginable.
Then we'll all come crashing down again.
I'll treat my race problem and then make another movie about Jesus.
Sounds like you have sort of a regular cycle you can count on.
What can I say, Jimmy?
I love resurrections.
I love resurrections.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for up-minded, lowly-lovered lefties.
The kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Dog.
Here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Door Show.
You know, we're doing live shows.
We got a new one just added.
We're going to be in San Diego this month, February 24th.
That's in three short weeks.
That's a Saturday night, 7 p.m.
We're going to be in San Diego telling jokes at the Comedy Palace.
That's February 24th.
That's a Saturday at 7 p.m.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all tickets, and we'll see you March 25th in Austin, Texas at the State Theater.
Hey, let's get to the joke before we get to the jokes.
I don't know if you watched the speech.
Well, first, I watched Trump, then Kennedy, and then Bernie Sanders.
And I got to say, the headliner was really good, but the opening acts kind of sucked.
You know, Trump's State of the Union, a lot of people didn't like it, but it pulled very high with people who hate themselves and feel dead inside.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
*laughter*
Hey, by the way, the cable news networks all aired Trump's speech in its entirety, just like they did every night when he was running for president.
Dude, I don't know if you saw Joe Kennedy was drooling.
I didn't say that he had to drool on the side of the mind.
He was just drooling because he saw his check from Big Pharma had cleared.
That's right.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you trust fund baby Joe Kennedy the third.
He is now the Bobby Jindal of the Kennedy family.
All I ever wanted out of life was for someone with a trust fund to love me.
I don't know if you heard Robert Wagner's in trouble.
Robert Wagner, they're reopening the investigation into his wife's death, Natalie Wood.
They think maybe now he's a person of interest, is what they say.
And Robert Ragner is psyched because he hasn't been a person of interest to anyone in decades.
Super psyched.
Police are refusing to comment any further other than to say that the investigation was going swimmingly.
I had Hillary Clinton in hot water over her faith advisor sexual harassment.
Her faith advisor.
And she didn't fire him, by the way.
She gave him another job so he sexually harassed other people.
You know what?
My faith advisor told me to have faith that my ethics advisor was wrong about my faith advisor.
Hey, here's an old joke: a bear and a faith advisor were taking a shit in the woods.
The bear turns to the faith advisor and says, Hey, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?
And the faith advisor says no and sexually harassed the bear.
laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Guess what?
Amazon is creating a healthcare company with Warren Buffett and JP Morgan.
Chase.
I bet it's going to be great.
Can you think of anything better than your employer telling you if you need an MRI or not?
That's, we're going to talk about that.
Plus, turns out Hillary Clinton protected a sexual harasser inside her campaign.
And she's still hashtagging the Me Too out of it.
But we're going to talk about that.
It's kind of shocking.
Plus, we got phone calls today.
That's right.
We got phone calls today.
Well, you heard Mel Gibson.
I love that guy.
He's such a good Catholic, Mel Gibson, isn't he?
We got phone calls today from Mel Gibson, Barack Obama, and Jeff Sessions, Jeff Beauregard Sessions.
That's all, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Everybody, welcome to the Jimmy Door show.
I'm here with the miserable liberal and Rod Placod.
I'm miserable.
Howdy, howdy.
Yeah, so guess what?
The big problem, and I always was amazed that American businesses don't push the government to pass single-payer health care because it's an incredible drag on our businesses in the United States.
Like, you know, Steve-O made the point on aggressive progressives the other day that my employer pays my health insurance.
Why?
He doesn't pay my car insurance.
He doesn't pay my house insurance.
He doesn't pay my life insurance.
He doesn't pay any other kind of insurance.
But for some reason, my employer has to pay my health insurance.
So why are those two things coupled together?
So that, again, that doesn't make any sense.
And so we've been, I always thought that the businesses in the United States would be the ones to make the push for single payer.
Guess what is happening?
Something a little similar, Ski.
Here is just it.
Amazon, Berkshire, Hathaway, and JP Morgan announced plans to create a healthcare company.
Yeah.
Hey, we're going to give you your flu shot now, but first pick your needle.
New one start at $12 or you can buy it used for as low as 99 cents.
Search the different vendors.
You get our Amazon Prime.
We'll get you that flu shot in two days.
No charge.
Anyway, next week's headline, Amazon announces new currency.
Get ready for Bezos Bucks.
It's coming.
And just to be clear, Berkshire Hathaway is Warren Buffett's company, right?
That is correct.
So the three companies are Warren Buffett's company, which made lots of money off predatory loans.
Also, Jeff Bezos' company, which he's the number one predatory capitalist in the world.
He's worth over $100 billion.
And his employees are on food stamps.
What kind of a person amasses $100 billion while the people who earn that profit for him are struggling?
It's a maniac, right?
And then you have J.P. Morgan.
And then you have Jamie Diamond over at JP Morgan, right?
So they're.
He's bankrupt, right?
Didn't the citizens bail him out?
The whole Wall Street crashed.
And yes, we bailed out the whole system.
So, but now those people are going to bring us healthcare.
This is true.
Amazon Berkshire, JP Morgan link up to form a new healthcare company.
This is hard as it might be, reducing healthcare's burdens on the economy while improving outcomes for employees and their families would be worth the effort, Jeff Bezos said in the statement.
Coming from him, I mean.
Hard as it might be, hard as it might be, success is going to require talented experts, a beginner's mind, and long-term orientation.
Now, none of that's true.
I mean, it might be true for this, for this kind of new thing they're going to put together over at Amazon and JP Morgan and Warren Buffett.
That might be true that they're going to need a beginner's mind, talented experts, and long-term orientation.
That might be true.
That might be true for them.
But we all know you don't need any of those things to fix the problem.
How do you fix the problem?
We already have Medicare in the United States.
You just expand it.
Trump said that when he got in office.
How come we just can't put anybody on Medicare?
And then they had to explain it to him that your donors, the donors to our party, don't want that.
Wall Street doesn't want that.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
So now these guys are, this is Jeff Bezos, and they're upending the insurance market now.
So that's, well, one more.
It says, the initial focus of the new company will be on technology solutions that will provide U.S. employees and their families with simplified, high-quality, and transparent health care at reasonable cost.
In the statement, JP Morgan CEO, JP Morgan CEO Diamond said the initiatives could ultimately expand beyond the three companies.
So they're talking about bringing in more companies to do this.
It's kind of like they're going to invent their own insurance program right now.
That's what this is, right?
So one little last thing.
Our goal is to create solutions that benefit our U.S. employees, their families, and potentially all Americans.
You know what solution does that?
What?
Single payer.
What?
We already have a program to do that.
You don't have to reinvent the wheel, but you do have to reinvent the wheel if you don't want government to solve problems, which is what this is.
So this is super rich billionaires, all three of these guys, super rich.
I don't know if Jamie Dimon's a billionaire.
I bet he is.
All these super rich guys.
You go, well, why wouldn't they just push for the government to have single-payer Medicare for all expand?
Because they don't want government getting their hands on their money.
That's number one.
They don't want the government getting their hands on their money.
Two, they don't want the government succeeding at socialism.
They'll fix it.
The market will fix this.
Are you telling me the guy, Jeff Bezos, who has an ambulance right after outside of his fulfillment centers because he won't provide working conditions at air conditioning to his employees?
He'd rather rush them to an emergency room when they pass out than provide air conditioning in his fulfillment centers.
So what kind of health care is that motherfucker going to provide?
So that's what I'm saying.
I have a feeling preventative care might not be a priority.
I don't know.
So preventative care for us is not the priority.
Well, they claim that this will be a non-profit healthcare thing, that this is going to be non-profit.
That's what they claim.
Jeff Bezos also claimed, Jimmy, he wanted to be more philanthropic, too.
He did.
He did.
In 1960, healthcare spending took up 5% of the GDP in the United States.
So 5% of our economy in 1960, 5% was spent on healthcare.
Now we're up to 17%.
Wow, that's quite a bit.
That's, well, it doubled.
And then, so it almost quadrupled.
So that's 100%, 200%.
That's almost almost a 300% increase percentage-wise, percentage-wise.
That's a statistic people love to ignore when they talk about single-payer too, when they talk against single-payer.
Yeah.
They love to ignore the fact that, well, we're already spending 17%.
The single-payer system would reduce that drastically.
And let's remember, we're already spending enough money on healthcare.
We don't have to spend more as a country.
In fact, we could probably spend less if we instituted single payer.
So this isn't about us spending more money.
Single payer is about spending less.
But let's get back to this because here's Warren Buffett, and he's going to tell you what he thinks is the best system.
This is him on PBS last June.
You can't have that five go to 17 and move on to 20 and 22 or 24 percent.
He's talking about the percentage of income that we spend on healthcare.
He says you can't have the 5% go to 17 and then the 23 can't.
There's only 100% of dollars.
You can't have it.
So that's what he's saying right there.
Here we go.
Because there are only 100 cents in the dollar and healthcare is gobbling up well over $3 trillion a year.
It's just about the same as the federal budget.
I mean, he's getting up there.
Are we now at the point where the country does need to think about some sort of single payer system in some form or another?
I like how she says, are we at the point now?
At the point now, 30 million Americans haven't had health care for the last eight years.
Are we at the point now?
I don't know if you're one of those 30 million Americans, I bet.
If you're one of those people who have gone bankrupt because you got sick, let's remember most people who go bankrupt when they get sick have health insurance.
If you're one of those people, here's a completely out-of-touch elite neoliberal, Judy Woodruff.
You think it's time?
It was time 40 years ago.
It was time in the 60s when they did Medicare for senior citizens.
They should have did Medicare for everybody right then.
How much longer do we have to wait?
Anyway, here we go.
My limited knowledge.
I think that probably is the best system because did you hear his answer?
Yes, single payer is probably the best system.
That's what he was saying in June 2017.
Let's listen.
He goes on.
There's a system.
We are such a rich country.
In a sense, we can afford to do it.
I like how he says we are a rich country.
In a sense, we can afford it.
In a sense, we can afford it.
Which sense can't we afford it?
Like in a certain scenario, we can afford it since we're the richest country in the world and much poorer countries can pull this off without a problem.
I like it.
He goes, in a sense, we can afford it.
In a sense, no, we can afford it.
It's weird to watch a guy put mealy mouth words around shit like that, isn't it?
In a sense, we can afford it.
We can totally afford it.
So this is everybody who speaks about Warren Buffett like he's some kind of genius and God.
And he, everybody, ultimate reverence.
He's the smartest business guy, hands down in the world, Warren Buffett.
Everybody worships this guy, and they do.
Through this whole interview, she worships him, which is fine.
And his idea is single-payer healthcare.
Isn't that amazing?
Yet we don't do it.
Isn't that amazing?
And she doesn't go, why don't we do this?
Because she knows why we don't do it because our politicians are bought.
And those are the same politicians who fund her show.
So she doesn't say that.
Every field of American business, it pays to bring down costs.
There's an awful lot of people involved in the medical, the whole, just the way the ecosystem works.
There's no incentive to bring down costs.
So right now, he's saying the way our healthcare system is structured, most people involved in it don't have an incentive to bring down costs.
The pharmaceutical makers, the health insurance providers.
So we should get rid of this system and implement single payer.
That's what he's saying.
That was just a few months ago.
That's what he was saying.
Now he's like, I guess we'll do it ourselves.
Like you're saying, with a single payer system, it'd be easier to figure out a way to get that.
It'd be more effective, I think.
Circle of competence, but I would say more effective.
There's the guy telling you that's a more effective system.
But yet, I don't hear him screaming, I'm with Bernie Sanders on single payer.
I don't see him going on TV rooting for this.
Right now, what he's doing is, no, no, no, we'll handle it.
He doesn't get Jeff Bezos to write a front page article, single payer now.
Is that what's happening at the Washington Post?
That is not what's happening at the Washington Post.
Isn't that weird?
No, it's not weird.
These are a bunch of predatory capitalists getting together, trying to solve a problem of predatory capitalism with some more capitalism.
We already have a program that works perfectly.
It's called frickin' Medicare.
It's the most popular health insurance program in the country, and it has the lowest costs.
Isn't that something?
Medicare.
Why don't we just expand Medicare?
Because we have a bunch of fucking predatory capitalists that run our newspaper, run our media, and own our government and our politicians.
Did you know that Warren Buffett is the second richest man in the country?
And that is at $78.7 billion.
So how is this man at one point saying that we're all for single payer?
And suddenly now he wants to go into business with Jeff Bezos and Jamie Dimon.
I don't want it.
Why do I want them to interfere in my health care?
I want single payer.
I know I'm with you.
So here, let's go to Bloomberg News and they bring on a super duper smarty pants guy to talk about this.
And here's what I'm saying.
I think it's kind of brilliant, really.
He thinks it's kind of brilliant what they're doing.
This is really brilliant.
How about Amazon?
Are they brilliant?
It's brilliant, especially for Amazon, which one might argue is the most brilliant company in the world.
Can people give more tongue baths to Jeff Bezos?
Everybody does this.
Everybody, oh, it's the most brilliant company.
It's a monopoly.
Half of all internet purchases in the United States go through Amazon.com.
And how did he do that?
By rigging the system, your free market, it got rigged by Jeff Bezos by undercutting local brick and mortar stores because he didn't pay income tax.
Stuff like that.
How about that?
How about paying people sub-living wages?
How about having ambulances outside of fulfillment centers instead of air conditioning them?
Stuff like that.
That's brilliant, brilliant.
And then he bought the paper of notes, so nobody will ever criticize him, especially politicians, because then he'll write horrible shit about them if they criticize.
It's perfect.
Plus, he's in bed with the CIA, so he's got all your data.
It's a perfect, oh, this guy's brilliant.
He's like an evil genius.
He's not brilliant.
He's an evil genius.
Because number one, Amazon's already moving towards broadening its services portfolio.
And everybody knows the scale of the healthcare industry is one of its greatest opportunities.
So far, it's done virtually nothing in terms of healthcare services per se.
But you know, given the smartness at that place, that they've been working on all kinds of ideas.
They also have over half a million employees.
So they have huge health care costs themselves.
So they've joined with two other gigantic employers to test what is, I think, the future model of American healthcare, which is combining insurance and healthcare provision.
In other words, the same company owns the insurance company and the doctors.
Oh, according to SmartyPants, that's the future of healthcare in America.
Medicare is the insurance company and they pay the doctors.
Oh, we already have that system.
He's going, this is brilliant.
They're going to do Medicare privately.
It's brilliant.
You know, this system we've had since the 60s.
Well, it's brilliant how smart these guys are.
They're going to do it.
It's unbelievable.
That basically aligns the incentives and gets rid of a huge amount of waste.
So they are doing what we all have to do in this country.
And I hope it works because it could be a great role model.
Well, and that brings up the good.
It could be a great robot, except we already have a role model.
It's called Medicare for All.
By the way, which never comes up in this discussion.
Well, does even the needs of the people come up in this discussion?
No.
Does it sound like, like, to me, I got the impression, okay, my boss is going to also own the doctors that I'm supposed to meet.
So my boss.
So when they don't want to treat me, my boss doesn't want to give me health care.
Right.
So what recourse would I have then?
I don't know.
You could quit, I guess.
Yeah, you're right, Ron.
Yeah, our role model is every other industrialized nation in the world.
That's our role model.
And, you know, it's nice they're throwing a nonprofit label on this, but I'm not going to be fooled.
I mean, especially this guy mentions all the hands Amazon has stake in.
They would find a ton of backdoor ways to make money off of this, and they would.
And just having that nonprofit status means very little.
Keep in mind, the NFL was a nonprofit up until recently.
So I'm not that.
I'm not Rob.
Placode with a devastating argument.
Oh, the NFL was a nonprofit.
What is this venture going to be?
Is it going to be an app on your phone?
Is it going to be Alexa?
I need a refill of my antibiotics.
Is it going to be a wider array of doctors or a specific network of doctors?
We don't quite know.
We don't know those things.
I don't think it would be all of those things to some degree.
I suspect the key point is that when you aren't, when you cut out all these intermediaries in the healthcare system, you can make people healthier and save money.
Kaiser Permanente.
He keeps describing Medicare for all, and then he keeps giving a bullshit, half-baked capitalist view of it.
So, oh, if you get rid of all the middlemen and all the bullshit, it's much cheaper.
You don't like Kaiser Pemberton.
No, Medicare.
Like Medicare.
The least expensive, most popular health insurance program in the country.
Won't even mention it.
Watch, watch.
He goes on to talk about Kaiser.
He's a great example of this company that's been around for many, many, many decades and is the role model for American healthcare.
And I've heard it said.
Again, not Medicare for all.
It's not the role model.
Isn't this amazing how this guy can continue to say these capitalistic, fuck, this is the, oh, that's the, this is the role model.
Not Medicare, this, but this is Bloomberg business news.
You're never going to get that.
That's why we have a show, by the way, because this is how they report shit like that.
You know, we're going to the Kaiserization of the American healthcare system.
We just don't know it yet.
But because Amazon is such a creative company, to see them in this mix is really gratifying and also, as with everything with Amazon, scary.
And also potentially.
I agree with the second part.
Oh, man.
This is such a great Amazon.
This is so gratifying, but also scary because I know what this means.
What the F?
This is crazy.
Profit margins at the end of the day.
No, because, I mean, certainly they think it's going to save them money because think of if you have half a million employees or more than half a million, you're already suffering from this enormous, chronic, tragic inefficiency of American healthcare, which makes us competitively disadvantaged around the world, and which frankly is not nearly enough on the front burner of American political and policy discussion.
Why is that?
Why, quite frankly, is it not nearly enough on the front burner?
They leave out all the important parts of this conversation.
This is what happens when you get your news from Bloomberg.
It has nothing to do with Obamacare.
Like, that's like a tiny step in the right direction, maybe, but we have a fundamental reform needed.
And they're saying, you know what?
We have a fundamental reform needed.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
And I'm making the case and I'm going to keep ignoring the actual solution that we already have.
I'm going to keep ignoring it.
And I'm going to keep pushing this capitalistic solution.
That really isn't a solution.
This guy is, this is unbelievable.
You know what's weird?
If you copied and pasted like some of the things he said, you would actually have a really good answer.
Maybe it was just like, so what are your thoughts on this?
And then you just have, this is scary.
Cut.
Obamacare was a slight step in a better direction, but we need true reform.
Cut.
Cut.
Yes.
Yes.
So it's interesting.
It seems like last year we were just talking about Amazon disrupting the pharmacy business.
And now it looks like they're going to try and disrupt all of healthcare.
So we've got this press release this morning.
The DSA tweeted out, we can do better than a healthcare system run by a rent seeker, a slumlord, and a Wall Street bank.
It's called Medicare for All.
Oh, capitalism, baby, huh?
This is capitalism fucking papering over its huge problems.
There we are.
They're trying to paper over it.
Oh, we'll do it.
Why don't you?
And remember, they don't want the government to do it, even though everybody knows that the way to do it is to have the government do it, to have single payer.
These guys are like, no, nope, nope.
I'm the richest guy the world has ever seen.
There's no way I'm letting that happen.
I'm going to control the health care.
I'll control who gets to see a doctor.
I am Jeff Bezos, and you will respect my authoriti.
And if you don't, I will get the CIA's data and use it against you because I got it.
And Barack Obama made it possible for the CIA to spy on you.
That's right.
Barack Obama, right before he left office, gave those powers to Trump's CIA.
Yeah, that's the world we're living in.
This is the world we're living in.
One guy in bed with the Pentagon, the CIA, he owns the paper of note, Washington Post.
By the way, they just hired Max Boot to write opinions today.
Max Boot, there's nothing a warmonger can do to hurt his career.
Max Boot just got a job at the Washington Post.
Max Boot, the guy's been wrong about everything.
It was pro-Iraq war, pro-torture, pro-killing everything in the world.
Hey, you guys want to write something?
You want to write for us over at the Washington Post?
That's because Jeff Bezos is pro-war, baby.
That's right.
Because he's in bed with the Pentagon and the CIA, baby.
War makes a lot of money.
And apparently that's all Jeff Bezos cares about because he's a fucking maniac.
Richest man in the history of the world.
His employees are poor.
Here's a great way to help support the Jimmy Doer show.
You know, we do not encourage anyone to shop at Amazon.com, but sometimes you have no choice, or sometimes you're going to anyway.
And if you're going to shop at Amazon.com anyway, we say have some of that money go to a progressive cause like the Jimmy Doer show.
So then we'll take some of that Amazon money and make videos about how horrible Amazon is.
It's a great symbiotic relationship.
So the next time you're going to buy something from Amazon, please think of the Jimmy Doer show.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, click on our Amazon link, and when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
Help fight back and support the show at the same time.
Hey, it's former President Barack Obama.
Hey, Barack, how's the retirement going?
Retirement.
My best guy.
I got speeches at the Wazoo Bozo.
Jimmy, may I make an important announcement?
Sure.
The Obama Foundation is now hiring and will soon be accepting applications for the internship program in remedial caving in remedia caving and caving to the 10th power.
Pete Sweber requires some experience in caving.
How much do your internships pay?
Very funny, Jimmy.
Oh, by the way, I'm not just a former president.
I'm also a Nobel Peace Prize winner, you smoke.
Say it.
And Nobel Prize Prize.
You can't even say.
And Nobel Peace Prize winner.
I'm also a doctor of laws and a doctor of science.
You've been awarded many honors.
Yeah, we know.
Also won a daytime Emmy Award.
Did you know that?
I don't watch the daytime Emmys, so no.
That was right before I won the Nobel Peace Prize.
And those three words I invented, yes, we can.
I like to think the phrase had something to do with that.
Because I proved yes, we can was true even before I ever did anything.
I should get another prize just for that shit, too.
Like the Nobel Pushing the Envelope Prize or something.
And that brings me to my most recent award: the John F. Kennedy Profile and Courage Award.
You know what that means, Jimmy Dore?
Winner of no awards to speak of.
What?
I'm back and in your face.
Back from what?
Being aloof, standing on the sidelines in a dignified manner as required by the prestige of my former office, commenting on shit while appearing above it all.
The last night you saw me center stage and all my inspiring glory.
You mean what people are saying about Joe Kennedy?
Joe Kennedy's dead.
I'm talking about Joe Kennedy III.
Best state of the union response ever.
Democrats were awestruck by the nonspecifics, empty phrases, and complete lack of direction.
He's like me.
I couldn't take my eyes off the corners of his mouth.
What was all that about?
Oh, that was just a special homage to Ted Cruz.
Joe knows we're all playing on the same team.
He survived the pretend the drill's not there challenge every politician has to go through.
And when his investments in big pharma are fully exposed, he'll know exactly how to handle it.
Pretend it's not there.
Works every time.
Oh.
Haven't we had enough of entitled rich people with the third after their name?
Nonsense, Timmy.
Last night you just saw Democrats rediscover my visionary vision through the eyes of a guy who looks like Conan O'Brien.
He comes from a compelling family history.
It takes a lot of imagination to name three generations of sons after the same guy.
Where would we be without Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III or even Thurston Howell?
Thurston Howell III wasn't real.
Right.
And they said if you, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.
Wasn't real either.
Get rid of the loser.
It's still not too late for Democrats to unite behind an ultra-rich white guy from a political dynasty.
And here's the best part: he's a former prosecutor.
Join me in saying, yes, we can.
It's time for a change.
Joe Kennedy and Ulpra in 2020.
Joe Trump.
Wake up and smell electoral success, Jimmy Dore.
So the thing I like about the hashtag Me Too, it's another opportunity for us to reveal just what a complete, unbelievable, phony, and empty vessel Hillary Clinton is.
What, Jim?
Huh?
What do you mean?
Well, headline in the New York Times: Hillary Clinton chose to shield a top advisor accused of harassment in 2008.
That's the New York Times.
Remember, to oppose Trump, you have to get a subscription to the New York Times.
That's the best way to oppose Trump by the New York Times.
Oh, those people who did that are, oh, they're hating that.
Ah.
Could there be a more flawed, a more flawed messenger for feminism than Hillary Clinton?
Could there be a more flawed?
She spent most of her life shaming sexual abuse victims, people abused by her husband.
Then she spent the rest of her career bombing poor brown people around the world, brown women.
We know who gets hurt in wars, women, children, Honduras, Libya.
And now she had a sexual harasser in her own campaign, and she didn't fire him.
In fact, here's what she tweeted out.
A story appeared today about something that happened in 2008.
I was dismayed when it occurred.
Yeah, I bet.
But was heartened the young woman came forward, was heard, and had her concerns taken seriously and addressed.
Except I didn't fire the guy.
I gave him another job.
I let him prey on other people.
I didn't get rid of that guy.
I didn't out him.
She just gave him another job.
Here at the bottom, she says, I called her today to tell her how proud I am of her and to make sure she knows what all women should.
We deserve to be heard.
Yeah, it's easy to say now, except when the time mattered, you didn't do anything about it.
In fact, here's from the New York Times, a senior advisor to Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign who was accused of repeatedly sexually harassing, repeatedly sexually harassing a young subordinate, was kept on the campaign at Mrs. Clinton's request, according to four people familiar with what took place.
Mrs. Clinton's campaign manager at the time recommended that she fire the advisor, Bern Strider.
But Mrs. Clinton did not.
Did not.
She's a regular Roger Ailes.
Instead, Mr. Strider was docked several weeks of pay in order to undergo counseling, and the young woman was moved to a new job.
Let me tell you something.
He never underwent that counseling.
Nobody ever followed up to make sure he did that, and he didn't.
And he wasn't fired.
That's hashtag Ms. Hillary Clinton.
You're with her, right?
Because she's not with you.
She's not with you, even if you're a woman who's sexually harassed.
She's with the dude.
The complaint was taken to Mrs. Doyle, the campaign manager, who approached Mrs. Clinton and urged that Mr. Strider, who was married at the time, be fired.
According to her campaign chairperson, her campaign manager said, fire the guy.
And Mrs. Clinton said she did not want to.
And instead, he remained on her staff.
Isn't that awesome?
Well, you know, it's going to get more awesome.
We haven't gotten here yet, so I don't want to jump ahead.
But when we talk about what this guy did, what this guy's job was.
Oh, okay.
We're going to get it.
It's going to get better.
Here we go.
Mr. Strider, who was Mrs. Clinton's faith advisor.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
He's a faith advisor.
Again, anyone who's publicly religious is full of shit.
And there you go.
He's a faith advisor.
He's a full of shit person.
I'll be your faith advisor.
And he was also the founder Of American Values Network.
Those are always the types, right?
The silent centers scream the loudest.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Silent Center screamed the loudest.
And here he is.
He founded the American Values Network and sent the candidate scripture readings every morning for months during the campaign.
He was hired.
So after this happened, after this was known that this guy's a harasser and her own campaign manager recommend that Hillary Clinton fire her, him, she, A, doesn't fire him.
B, he doesn't go to the counseling.
C, five years later, she hires him again.
Five years later, he was hired to lead an independent group that supported Mrs. Clinton's 2016 candidacy, Correct the Record, which was created by close Clinton Alley ally David Brock.
So maybe technically Hillary Clinton didn't hire him for correct the record.
But David Brock, who's also scum of the earth, who sluts shames female victims of sexual harassment, David Brock, that's her close ally.
So we got both of them doing it really well.
So that guy goes from Mrs. Clinton, who shames women who are assaulted, and they go to David Brock, who wrote a book on how to assault a woman who's already been assaulted, how to slut shame a woman.
He wrote a book on it, how to slut shame.
Well, and hey, that correct the record thing was kind of a good business move on their part.
Aces in their places.
Hey, Mr. Strider, you're great at harassing people.
Now you get to do it on social media because that's what correct the record is, and that's what they do.
That's all they do.
There wasn't any rush.
The Russian bots didn't throw.
They had these motherfuckers.
Anyway, guess what happened when he went to work at Correct the Record?
What do you think happened when he went to work at Correct the Record?
You think he harassed anyone there?
Yes.
Of course he did.
Spoiler.
He was fired after several months for workplace issues, including allegations that he harassed a young female aide, according to three people close to correct the records management.
Hillary Clinton, the enabler.
She's like the Catholic bishop.
She's like the bishop.
Hey, this guy's ah, let's you shut up and go over there.
And please don't do it.
Go to another parish and do it to somebody over there.
That's exactly what Hillary Clinton did.
And he did it again.
Get this.
Here's a kicker.
This was in that article for some reason.
Lena Dunham, one of Mrs. Clinton's most visible celebrity supporters in her 2016 presidential bid, told the Times that she warned two Clinton campaign aides against associating with Mr. Weinstein, meaning Harvey Weinstein.
Quote, I just want you to know that Harvey's a rapist and this is going to come out at some point.
Ms. Dunham said she told the campaign.
And then Hillary said, that's never ever going to happen.
And she went on to be buddy buddies with Harvey Weinstein.
She did not distance herself from him until the New York Times broke that story.
So when she says that, who's she lying to?
The Russians?
Republicans?
Sean Hannity?
No, she's lying to you.
She's lying to you, along with everyone else.
She's lying to you.
She's lying.
Oh, I was so glad that woman came forward so I could brush it under the rug and send that guy on to another company where he could sexually harass young women there.
I'm Hillary Clinton.
Hillary, that is what you did, right?
That is right.
You swept it under the car.
Even though your campaign manager recommended that you fire that guy, you didn't fire him.
You kept him on and you let him go be a predator on other young women.
Is that what happened?
Tell me the truth, Hillary.
Is that what happened?
Yes, that is.
Yes, that is.
Right?
And when Lena Dunham said that stuff to you, you ignored it.
Is that correct?
Is that correct?
Yes, that is correct.
Yes, that is correct.
So I saw someone say, hey, you know, that was 10 years ago and things were handled different back then.
That's what people are saying about this because people can't do enough excuses for one of the richest, most powerful people in the world who constantly shits on poor people who are also vulnerable.
That's who she is.
Can I add a quick thing to that?
Wait, wait, let me just say this.
Okay.
Because they say it's 10 years ago, Ron.
It's a long time ago.
Things were done differently.
Except, I don't know if you know that the Me Too campaign was created by a black woman 10 years ago.
Just so you know.
Ron?
Well, isn't like times were different then and it was a different time.
Isn't that something that the right wing throws at us all the time?
Yes.
Like, isn't that a typical right-wing apologist excuse?
And it doesn't even work.
Doesn't even work.
Because there you are.
That's that excuse doesn't.
You're right.
You're right, Ron.
So that's kind of stunning, huh Steph?
Did you know any of that?
Did you know that she covered up for a sexual harasser in her own campaign?
Not only cover it up, but gave him another jug, made sure he could go on to harass other people in other places that correct the record.
This guy's been around for a while in the Democratic Party.
Uh-huh.
He's been around.
Strider has served as an array of positions.
The director of policy for the U.S. House Democratic Caucus.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Faith advisor.
Ready?
He was, he's, this gets great here.
Senior advisor to Nancy Pelosi.
Oh, Nancy Pelosi's got a sex harasser in her campaign.
And of course, you know, you already know he was the director of the U.S. House Democratic Faith Working Group.
I went to, by the way, real quick, I was at the Pasadena City Council meeting last night.
Ron wanted to talk about getting municipal broadband.
And while they were taking the role of the city council, there's only like six city council people in all of Pasadena.
When they were taking the role, they called one person's name, Joe Smith, and he went blessed to be here.
And I'm like, get the, you did not just say that.
Yeah, I rolled my eyes too.
Blessed to be here.
Blessed to be here.
Fuck off.
So that means anybody who isn't here isn't blessed.
That's what that means.
You're special.
God took special timeout for you.
And those of us who've ever attended church, you know, when somebody has to tell you in public that they're blessed.
They're blessing you.
They're bragging.
I'm suspect.
Immediately.
Humble brag.
Yes.
Oh, I'm blessed to be on the city council of Pasadena.
I won my race and now I'm powerful.
I'm blessed.
So anyway, there you go.
And that's now you know the rest of the Hillary Clinton bullshit story.
Is there anything else you need to know?
Is there anything else you need to know about her?
And by the way, she lost because she was a fucking horrible candidate and people can't stand her and they see right through her.
That's why she lost.
Not because of James Comey, not because of Russia.
She lost to Donald goddamn Trump.
And guess who did it?
The Electoral College.
Is she screaming about the Electoral College?
No, she's screaming about Russia.
Could you imagine if Russia had an election and the guy with less votes won?
And we were like, okay, that's cool.
Yeah, that's how it works.
Vladimir Putin got less votes and now he's president.
I guess that's called democracy.
You know, there is something like Bern Strider.
He was the president of the American Values Network.
Yeah.
See, I think we just didn't check what kind of values.
What kind of values?
His American sex harass values.
That's what he's talking about.
The American fraternity boys values.
That's what that's it.
That's what that's about.
So there you go.
God bless America.
Now you know why Hillary Clinton lost because people saw right through her.
She's horrible.
And she's the exact opposite of what she appears to be.
She's not on your side if you're a woman.
Hillary Clinton's been slut-shaming fucking women who have accused Bill Clinton of shit her whole life.
And then you go, well, that's not fair because it was her husband.
You can't blame her husband.
I can blame her for what she did.
And here it is again.
Got nothing to do with her husband.
And her knee jerk is to keep that guy on her campaign staff and then make sure he gets another job.
There's a record record.
Long list of reasons why she's with us t-shirts were never ever made.
Long list of reasons.
She's not with us.
That's why.
That would be the big reason why, Ron.
That's a big number one.
Yeah.
Hillary Clinton's not with you.
Hillary Clinton is with Goldman Sachs.
She's with Exxon.
She's with Big Pharma.
And she's with the military industrial complex for sure.
If there's anything she's with, she's with the military industrial complex and Goldman Sachs.
So that's why she lost.
And if you ever hear people saying, I heard someone say the other day, you know, now, especially with the DACA people, you know, they're being, their lives are being, you know, six-year-old brought here as six-year-old kids, and now that you should have voted for Hillary.
Someone actually said that on a news show the other day.
So you should have voted because of DACA.
How dumb could you be?
Pretty dumb, by the way.
Still defending voting for Hillary, even though it was Hillary who propped up Donald Trump.
She completely rigged the primary to screw over the only per to make sure the only person who could lose to Donald Trump lost to Donald Trump.
That's what Hillary.
And you still want us to vote for the person who cheated us out of Bernie.
You still want to vote for the person who completely got us Donald Trump.
Do you think we got Donald Trump because everybody loved what the fucking Democrats were doing?
Because everybody loved how Barack Obama handled shit?
Because everybody loved how Bill Clinton handled shit.
No, we got Donald Trump because Democrats got in power and fucked everybody over, you dummy.
And if we didn't get Trump this time, we were going to get a worse Trump next time.
Because your inability to think past one election cycle is why you're a dummy and no one listens to you.
It's unbelievable.
People still saying that with a straight face.
See, because of DACA, this is why we all should have voted for Hillary.
Well, you all did fucking vote for Hillary.
I don't know if you noticed that.
And you could have actually voted for a third party and made a difference with your vote, but you didn't.
You voted like a stupid corporate neoliberal.
You did the lesser of two evils.
By the way, the unions aren't even fucking behind you on that anymore.
Do you know the unions are against voting for the lesser of two evil now?
Even the unions are against it.
But you'll hear dummies on lefties news shows tell you that.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is why we should have voted for it.
We should have voted for Hillary.
Even though Barack Obama deported more Hispanics than all the presidents combined since 1890.
Barack Obama did that.
But they'll still tell you we have to have voted for Hillary.
If there is a way to double down on dumb, the people saying that have found it.
Well, Jimmy, let's be fair here, though.
I mean, her VP pick, Tim Kane, never flaked on DACA when it really mattered.
Yeah, so her VP pick wouldn't even stand up for DACA.
She picked someone to the right of her.
But it's never Hillary Clinton's fault.
You still, no matter what she does, no matter how many times she spits in your mouth, you still have to vote for Hillary Clinton.
No matter how, no matter what destruction is brought to this country, the enemy is neoliberalism.
Again, fucking dummy.
The enemy is neoliberalism.
The enemy isn't Trump.
The enemy, he's a symptom of the problem.
Again, this is hard for shitheads to get in their brain for some reason, Ron.
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think some shitheads have such a hard time thinking past one election cycle?
Why?
Oh, I know, because they're dumb.
That would be it.
And I'm a self-admitted dumb guy.
And when I'm fucking smarter than you, that's when you know you're stupid.
That's when you know you're stupid because you're doing it on purpose.
Even the unions won't fucking do the lesser of too evil.
But here we are, some kind of political commentators still saying that.
A year and a half after Hillary Clinton propped up Donald Trump and all her minions in the press propped him up.
But again, it's never her fault.
It's Jill Stein's fault or Susan Sarandon's or Jimmy Doors.
Somebody else with no money and no power.
Boy, you guys have your eye on the ball, you dumb neoliberal apologists.
Really have your eye on the ball, don't they?
I wish I had a good answer for your question.
Right.
Because I mean, I have these same conversations.
You know, I mean, I had the conversation.
I've been having a lot of conversations about net neutrality.
And they're like, you know, it'd be a lot different right now if Hillary Clinton was president.
And I looked at them and I'm like, you're right.
It would be different with net neutrality if Hillary Clinton was president.
We would lose net neutrality and then I'd have to listen to her supporters tell me why it wasn't a big deal.
So you're right.
You're right.
It would be different.
Because Barack Obama was on the fence about net neutrality.
He almost lost.
It was at the 11th hour that he was like, okay, okay, I'll do net neutrality.
But he gave us a Jeep Pie.
That was Barack Obama.
And now Ajit Pai is taking away net neutrality.
Thank you.
So that's right, Ron.
You're 100% right.
They can't stop saying, see, it wouldn't be as bad if Hillary was president.
And then in 2020, what would happen?
And then in 2018, what would happen?
What would happen this election cycle, this off-year election cycle if Hillary Clinton was president?
What would happen?
D. I'm sorry.
And then what would happen in 2020?
They would get a worse right-wing demagogue.
We'd get a guy who's actually competent, unlike Trump, who shoots himself in the dick three times before he gets out of bed.
This isn't, by the way, it's not a Rubik's Cube.
We've been doing what you guys have been saying to do for the last 40 years, vote for the lesser of too evil.
And what did it get us?
It got us Trump.
And the fact that you can't put that together shows why no one fucking listens to you.
That's why.
And anybody who does is wrong.
So great.
That kind of voting has given us Trump.
It gave us the worst candidate in the history of our fucking party, Hillary Clinton.
Repulsive.
Couldn't beat a black guy with a Muslim name fucking 10 years ago.
But somehow now, she's even more repulsive.
But again, it's everybody else's fault, Ron and Steph.
It's everybody else's fault, except Hillary Clinton, except the people in power, except Debbie Watson Schultz and Don of Brazil and Tom Perez and Barack Obama.
It's everybody, it's the voters' fault.
It's James Comey.
it's Russia.
Any other stupid thing you guys could think of.
And here she is letting you down as hard as anybody could let you down.
And still, oh no, still should have voted for her.
Because DACA, even though Barack Obama deported more people than all the presidents combined since 1890, they don't tell you that.
Those fucking morons, when they talk about DACA and how we should have voted for her, they'll never tell you that part.
Oh, by the way, maybe, Steph, could you look up what the percentage of Hispanics voted for Donald Trump?
Because that would be interesting.
29% of the Hispanic vote, Trump got.
Huh?
Day?
I don't know.
Maybe because Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton deported their mother, cousin, brother, sister, grandpa.
Because Barack Obama deported more Hispanics than all the presidents combined since 1890.
He's called the deporter-in-chief.
He put it over 2 million people.
That's Barack Obama.
And that's why Donald Trump got almost 30% of the Hispanic vote.
They don't tell you that either.
Oh, that's why we should have done Dog.
Why don't you tell that to a Hispanic who voted for Trump?
That we should have voted for Hillary because of DACA.
Because that person will fucking tell you how stupid you are.
White guy grew up in a fucking cul-de-sac.
How about because Barack Obama deported my family and friends at a record clip?
You want to know who demonized Hispanics?
The goddamn Democrats.
Look at our other video.
Hillary Clinton voted for a wall.
The Democrats just voted to fully fund his wall.
But you got to vote.
You got to keep voting for those guys.
Why?
Because we're dumb.
Because we don't really see the game.
Until you realize the game that's being played, you will forever be bragging about voting for a corporatist warmonger who deported fucking Hispanics at a record clip.
They're not going to tell you this stuff on mainstream news.
They're not even going to tell you this stuff on quote-unquote lefty news shows.
They're too busy talking about Trump and Russia like fucking the idiots they are.
So if you want to get this kind of information, you have to come here because you're not going to get it even on the internet from lefty news shows.
You're certainly not going to get it from MSNBC or CNN.
So you have to make sure you're subscribed to the show because no kidding, they're unsubscribing people from the show.
So check right there.
Click, make sure you're subscribed.
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Hello.
Hello, son.
There's the honorable Jeff Sessions.
I won't take long.
I need to see your papers, please.
Your ID, passport, birth certificate, and your American flaglip hair pen.
Yeah, 30 seconds before we take you to the board and hand you over to drug laws.
But I'm in the United States legally, Jeff.
I was born here.
But your wife, doesn't she have a strange sounding name?
Stranger than Beauregard?
We have reason to believe you and your Mexican wife are operating a sanctuary city in your house.
You didn't receive a subpoena?
For what?
Harboring your wife and a dog named Brownie.
Both are of Mexican origin, are they not?
They were both born in Los Angeles.
In that case, I'm going to have to ask the city of Los Angeles to come with us, please.
Come with you where?
To a world of pure imagination of my creation.
What we'll see will defy explanation.
You're basing your immigration policy on a Willy Wonka song?
Sorry, but you're way over my head with that reference.
All I know is the only good chocolate is white chocolate.
And I intend to keep it that way.
First step is arresting everybody and sorting it all out later.
You can't arrest everybody.
This is supposed to be a free country.
Aren't we all prisoners, Jimmy, of our own freedom?
How is that?
Let's say, hypothetically, that one of us finds himself in a situation where they have to get up in front of the press and say mistakes were made.
And let's say hypothetically involves rape, theft, racism, or any other mistake category that invites itself to big gray areas.
Thank goodness for the freedom of forgiveness, right?
Hey, we don't have time to get the rest of that phone call in today's radio show.
How do you hear the whole phone call?
You got to get a podcast at today's Jimmy Door show.
And you can get a podcast at the Jimmy Door show for free at iTunes, Stitcher, or at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Hey, today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Jim Earl, Mike McRae, Ron Placone, Steph Zamorano.
All of voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
Today's show, produced by Brian Gradillo.
We'll see you in San Diego, February 24th.
That's a Saturday night.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
The links for all tickets, especially our one in March 25th in Austin, Texas at the state theater.
Hey, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorsey and you be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.
Do not freak out.
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
I'm not.
Not.
Not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Not.
Freak.
Not.
Not.
Freak out.
I'm not getting it.
Don't.
Don't freak out.
Do.
Do not freak out.
don't bring out don't bring up don't don't don't don't bring out don't don't don't Don't let the motherfucker don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not in it.
Don't you don't go for it.
Don't let you go.
Do not freak out.
Do not do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak.
Don't freak out.
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