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Nov. 18, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:23
20171118_1117_TJDS_PODCAST
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello?
Hello, Babushka, Jimmy.
I enjoy this little game of charades we play.
Yes, I respect your talents.
This amusing exercise in thrust and parry we partake in, no?
Is this Vladimir Putin?
Well played, my friend.
You studied your opponent well and now anticipate his response three moves ahead.
But this three-dimensional game of chess, we compete, and it is tiresome, no?
Huh?
Oh, you're the sly one, Jimmy Dore.
The way you skillfully outmaneuver my jabs while secretly sitting trap.
You go this way, I go that way.
You say one thing, I say another.
You go high, I go low.
You say potato, I say potato.
You say tomato, I say red fruit of the solanum Lycoparsicum family.
Yes, we know each other well, do we not?
Or do we?
Yes, not no.
Yes, not.
It is so, yes.
And so it is not.
Yes.
And not no?
I think I'm tripping on something right now.
I could use a food tester.
Why'd you call me, Vlad?
You know, this makes half the country suspect me of treason and collusion, don't you?
What about me?
Half of Ukraine now think I'm Trump puppet.
Or White House youthful idiot or on Ivanka's payroll.
I can't keep track of this shit.
Why'd I call?
Very clever of you to ask American spy.
Yes, why did you call?
Once again, you forced me into a position where I must answer on your question and reveal my complete lack of understanding of proper preposition usage.
Let me start by saying that I think all those Jason Bourne movies are complete crap.
All right?
This dick has complete memory loss, yet we're expected to believe he can still drive a car.
Seriously, what the fuck?
I don't know.
I haven't seen any of those movies.
You haven't seen the Born Identity?
Nope.
Born Supremacy?
No.
Ultimatum?
Legacy?
Nope.
What about the last one?
Just called Jesson Bourne.
I'm sorry, no.
Jesus, how can anyone talk to you?
He's such an asshole.
Seriously, do you ever leave the house?
Of course I leave the house.
I have my live shows that I do, and sometimes I go to Culver City where I do another show.
Wow, Culver City.
That's not all I do.
We go all over.
We just did a show in Portland.
Wow.
I heard about Portland.
Bed bug capital of the world.
Nice.
That's quite a charge to make.
How can you be so sure of that?
Who do you think put them there?
Do I intimidate you, Jimmy?
Do you feel my power?
A mere turn of the phrase and you melt like butter in my pants, no?
I don't know what that means.
By the way, this is the part of my call when I usually tell you to go to my Amazonski.com link.
See?
Was that Spanish?
No, I don't encourage anybody to buy from Amazonski.
But if you do, we say, why not have some of these rubles go to a proto-fascist third-stage capitalist mafia police state show?
Does not change the way you shop at Amazon ski, but it is bigger to the show.
So why not click on little box next time you buy something from Amazonski.com?
When you do, they send us a little money and take down your name and make you and your family disappear or die in a suspicious food poisoning accident.
It's just that easy.
Thank you for listening, and we'll see you in Minsk.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for Lily Levin Luffy.
The kind of people that are comments may be on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Vale.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
Want to let you know live shows December 4th is our next live show in Burbank, California, December 4th.
That's the big room.
Also, November 20th, that's the small room at the Improv Lab in Hollywood.
See you there.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, right?
I don't know if you know this, but every American needs a gun for what?
To protect the rest of their guns.
That's what they need a gun for.
The only way Americans could be more in love with the intelligence community would be if they were to lie us into another war.
And this time against a country like whoops.
Yeah.
You know, if Louis C.K. were a war criminal instead of just a jerk off, he'd still have a thriving career hawking his book while wacky dancing with Ellen and Stephen Colbert on Natural TV.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Lots of today's show was recorded live in Portland, Oregon on November 12th.
We find out exactly what's wrong with the Democratic Party.
I know we thought we knew what it was.
It turns out a donor went on MSNBC and threatened the Democratic Party.
We're going to check it out.
Plus, the mainstream media is continuing to gaslight progressives about a rigged primary.
Who's doing it this time?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, Donner Brazil goes on Bill Maher, and it turns out exactly how you thought it would.
Also, Paul Ryan's blatantly lying about his tax plan.
Why wouldn't the news call him a liar?
We have special guests on today's show from the Humanist Report, Mike Figueredo, also from the Zero Hour, Richard Escal.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Jeff Sessions, Barack Obama, and you already heard Vladimir Putin.
Plus a lot, lot more that's coming up today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Dore Show.
I'm here with my pal Richard Escow from the Zero Hour.
Hi, Richard.
Hey.
Check out his podcast.
So we're talking about taxes today, and Paul Ryan.
So we know that the Republican tax plan is so bad and screws over regular people.
I mean, regular people, like people making less than $75,000, which is most of the country.
It screws them, right?
It raises their taxes in favor of giving stuff and takes away health care from people and in favor of giving tax breaks to corporations and billionaires.
That's literally what's happening.
And so Paul Ryan tweets this out.
He says, the day has finally come this afternoon.
The House will vote to cut taxes for hardworking Americans and reform our outdated tax code.
Let's get it done.
Now, what I said, what's weird to me is how an elected official can so blatantly lie like this and yet not one news outlet will call it a lie or call him a liar.
Isn't that weird?
Do you think if people started calling people liars when because that's a blatant lie?
He's not cutting taxes for hardworking people.
You're raising taxes on hardworking people and you're cutting taxes for that's why they call it the Working class because there's a class of people who actually don't fucking work, and that's the people who they're doing a tax cut for.
And so, why don't you think that news outlets don't call this stuff like this just lies?
Because that's what it is.
Well, it's totally a lie.
Remember when Trump got elected, and there was all this discussion of how now we're going to start calling lies lies.
Remember that?
Yeah, it seems so long ago.
Ryan, in fact, it's the opposite.
They keep acting like he's a legit, they call him a policy wonk.
He just not a policy wonk.
He makes shit up.
He lies.
He completely lies.
And the more you dig into, like, he'll put out these path to prosperity documents, right?
And the more you look into it, the more it's like totally, it's just made up.
It's like I could say, Jimmy, you know, if you gave me $100 million right now, every American would get $750 instantly overnight without me doing anything.
That's what Paul Ryan's documents are like.
There's nothing to them.
He is absolutely, this is an absolute lie.
It is flat out.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And you know who should really be calling it a lie?
Matt Iglesias.
Everybody who's out there saying, why don't people understand what this tax bill is doing?
should be saying the headline at Fox News.
By the way, Ezra called as a client at Fox is called A Riot of Policy Wonk 2.
Headline at Fox News, headline at Talking Points Memo, headline at Huffington Post, headline everywhere.
It should be Ryan lies about tax bills.
Yes.
Again, we like to call liars liars on this show.
We do it.
We have to do it every day.
My theory is that the reason why news people don't call politicians liars or lies lies is because if they did it, they would never stop.
They'd have to do it all the time because they're lying all the time.
So, but I think they still need to do it.
I think when someone's lying, you just go, that's a lie.
But what they'll do, things like Tom Brokaw will call it an overreach.
An over.
He was like, well, that's a little bit of an overreach.
Okay, that doesn't help the discourse, Tom Brokaw.
That actually doesn't, people don't know what you're talking about.
You know what I'm saying?
Overreach sounds good.
It sounds like, man, at least that guy was reaching.
Oh, yeah, he was trying.
Got to give him credit.
So I don't think Americans want their newsmen to water down the facts.
And that's exactly what Tom Brokaw and his ilk does.
Maybe we could come up with a phrase that news people would be comfortable using.
Like, excuse me, that's not exactly correct, which everybody can understand is a lie.
So, excuse me, Speaker Ryan, that's not exactly correct.
I would like to see it called a lie.
And I would say that I'll call him a liar.
By the way, as of this recording, 688 likes of that, so I'm pretty proud.
We live or die by our likes.
Live or die.
325 retweets.
Not too bad either.
Please make sure you subscribe.
They're subscribing people.
Check, make sure you're still subscribed to our show and click the bell so you get a notice, okay?
Our next live show is December 4th in Burbank, California.
That's the big room.
And then November 20th at the Hollywood Improv.
That show's probably already sold out because it's only 50 seats.
We'll see you then.
Thanks for being a patron and using our Patreon.
We gave away over three or gave you, we give you three hours of premium videos just this week alone.
Thanks for your support.
Here we go.
You need to say, down with the billionaires.
We can't stand the rich.
A lot of people want to be rich.
So is it the right message that the Democrats are going with?
It's so effing wrong.
I like how the host acts really upset that he said effing.
Whoa.
Watch, listen to her.
Listen to her.
She needs to say, down with the billionaires.
We can't stand the rich.
A lot of people want to be rich.
So is it the right message that the Democrats are going with?
It's so effing wrong.
Whoa!
I am so bleeping upset.
Whoa.
Mr. With you said a letter from the alphabet.
Hey, watch your P's and Q's, buddy.
With the effy.
Fucking unblamable.
All right, here we go.
Here's this guy.
I've talked to Schumer.
I've talked to Wyden.
I've talked to Pelosi.
I've talked to Debbie Wassum and Schultz.
I've talked to Sharon Proud.
I've talked to Elizabeth Warren.
I talked to Klobuchar.
I talked to okay, who the fuck the fuck?
He's just gonna, I'm like, well, how long is he gonna keep going?
She stops him.
And said what?
And I said, if you use the term billion again, I'm done.
Why?
Because I'm fucking one of them.
That's why.
Look at me.
God damn it.
I pay for sex.
What do you think?
I'm one of those guys.
It's hilarious.
Why?
Why would you not want people to use that?
It's aspirational.
I didn't start with anything.
Just penalize everyone.
I didn't start with anything.
Just a business my dad inherited to me.
And that's done well.
We all want to do well.
And we should be the party of doing well.
We should be a party of business and leadership.
We should be the party of do well.
And if you can't do well, you're deported.
We should be the party of doing well.
We should be a party of business.
Does this guy know that there's a Republican Party?
There's already a fucking party of business.
It's called the Republican Party.
Why else would you that's so?
Now we're supposed to have two parties that are pro-business.
They already are, right?
So the reason why half the country is poor or low-income is because both political parties represent management.
That's why.
And it's about time we had a party that represents workers again, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
We need somebody to represent Ron and Steph against an asshole like me, ladies and gentlemen.
He says, I will exploit the fuck out of those people.
I don't even pay her a salary.
That's how shitty I am.
I'm lying.
She writes the checks.
It's true.
I'm the vice president of this motherfucker.
50-50.
I do all the contracts.
She's my Hispanic union worker is the vice president of the goddamn company.
And I don't need you starting any kind of rally bullshit, all right?
We're starting a union.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'll close the whole show down.
But, Jimmy, we actually do have two.
I'll go hang out.
Hang on.
I'll go hang out with Bill O'Reilly, and we'll sit around trying to talk our right hands into jerking us off because there's more business opportunities in it for if it does.
Hey, would you like to get a network show?
I'm sorry, Steph.
I cut you off.
By the way.
Don't cut me off again.
Yes.
Sometimes I cut Steph off and people really let me have it.
Because I'm delicate.
Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
She's not fucking delicate.
Steph is not a shrinking violent.
She has busted everybody's balls on the show at least twice hard.
It's true.
Steph, Steph's favorite's favorite catchphrase to me is: handle it.
What are you doing?
I have to handle it.
I have to handle it.
That's what she handle it.
Oh, fuck shit.
Your dad was a dick to you.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know when that happens.
Yeah.
You know.
I was going to say that we do have two parties.
We have a conservative party, right?
And fascist party.
Yeah.
Yes.
It'd have been more interesting earlier.
Sorry about that.
Well, the way I'm, but my joke, what was it?
It was something like that.
It probably won't work now.
My joke was: there's a, you know, the Conservative Party is in disarray in America, and the Republicans are fucked up too.
It works.
Ah, still works.
It works.
That's a little, that's more of a pity applause than a real applause, but I appreciate it.
Jimmy, can I ask you, is this Stephen Effen Klubeck, whatever his name is, right?
Is he like the poster child for the rich and the wealthy going, uh, all we need to do is all be a well-doer party.
He's creeping me out.
Am I supposed to be on board with him?
I think he has a son named Franklin that I used to read about as a kid.
Anyone else?
A couple people.
Who's that?
It's a millennial thing.
I'll tell you about it after the show.
I totally agree.
The turtle.
The turtle.
All right, here we go.
Back to this jack off.
Ready?
Business.
And leadership.
And it is very, very disturbing when I hear the billionaire or billionaire word.
And I told him to stop it.
Knock it off.
I told, I warned him, knock it off.
Just like Hillary Clinton told Wall Street, cut it out.
Everyone wants to do really well.
And this is the world of guys like me making it impossible for other people to do well by rigging the tax system fucking over unions and exporting all of their jobs to poor people in more desperate situations.
What's your fucking problem?
Okay.
Thank you.
Yes, thank you.
Aspirations.
Then are you worried that the Democratic party is going too far to the left?
Where?
Where?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you an MSNBC host.
Thank you.
Still can't find room for Chomsky, but this motherfucker gets that amazing.
We can't bring out Chomsky.
Is there a billionaire asshole we could bring on instead?
Got it.
Done.
Okay.
So here we go.
The Democratic Party's moving too far.
The Democrats aren't far enough to the right.
They only compromised and shifted to the right on living wages, education, tax cuts, the environment, health care, and war.
But they haven't used a Republican talking point against the Democrats in 48 hours, so I guess they're good.
Okay.
So much so, it drives me nuts.
By the way, saying the Democratic Party is too far to the left is like saying Kevin Spacey is too apologetic.
You know what I'm talking about?
Come on.
I know I already hit that joke earlier, but it's still solid.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Now, I did the same thing Kevin Spacey did.
There was a drunk guy trying to pull his pants down, but that's because we were videotaping and we were trying to humiliate him.
And I was also 14.
So it would make me quit the party.
And I've made it very clear, I'll cut your money off.
Yeah, I'll cut your money off.
And like a good trust fund teenager, they fucking listen.
Yes, the Democrats listen.
You know what Bernie Sanders says?
I'll go to the people.
Fuck you.
I will raise a billion dollars, $27 at a time.
And you know why Bernie picked 27?
because that's his social security number.
He's old.
It's funny.
It's okay.
He's old.
Does he have more to say to this guy?
And others will do the same.
We've had enough.
We've had enough.
I've had enough of this shit where I have a billion dollars.
And I can't tell the fucking government what to do.
I have had enough of this.
I will move somewhere where I can tell, look, I will go to Barbados and buy that fucking government and stick it right in your face.
I am a CEO and I am tired of nobody in politics looking out for my interests.
Ron, stop being funnier than me.
Oh.
LAUGHTER I'm a CEO looking for a party that finally looks out for my interests.
You already did that joke.
Let's see if there's any more.
We need a new brand.
And what is that brand?
Because right now there is an opportunity.
If Democrats lose, for example, in the state of Virginia, if that isn't a wake-up call, that the Democratic leadership needs to get together and say, we've got to find a middle ground.
Because if the Democrats continue to go far to the left, you've got that whole group in the center that just aren't going to go the way of Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders.
And they're going to fracture the party even more.
It's fractured.
So it's only that she's 100% fucking wrong.
That's not a big deal because the people the farthest to the left won on election night last week, ladies and gentlemen.
Right, Mike?
Yes.
Didn't we?
Democratic Socialists of America won seats across the country.
Yep, yep, right.
That's huge.
That is huge.
Really?
So the corporate Democrats, it wasn't a big rout for the corporate Democrats.
It was actually the fucking far left won that election.
They got a guy in Philadelphia who sued the cops and is a Black Lives Matter lawyer.
He's now the DA.
*crowd cheers*
So it's just weird how they talk about the brand.
Watch this.
Fractured.
It's broken.
We need a new brand.
need a new brand.
That's what she's...
The problem is the Democratic brand.
It's not like you guys invented the world's greatest candy bar and you named it Cancer.
You're the Democrats.
You guys are shit to the fucking core.
You don't represent anybody except the same people the other party represents.
They have a branding problem, Mike.
They have a branding problem.
Do you think that's a branding problem the Democrats have, Mike?
Well, you know, if you listen to someone like Tom Perez, then they do stand for something.
They stand for hope and values.
When we put open the ballot, we win.
That's my Tom Perez.
I don't know.
Yes.
That's very good, Tom.
You got to put our values on the ballot.
Put our values on the ballot.
If you don't have the hand gesture, then you're not fully capturing Tom Perez or Hillary Clinton.
Needs to be simple.
Keep it simple.
Tax reform.
Keep it simple.
Keep it simple.
Cut my taxes.
I give you a million dollars.
You cut my taxes by 10.
It's all by 10.
It's simple.
The fuck?
That's what he's saying.
Okay, here we go.
Infrastructure.
No bumps in the road.
What more do we have to say?
I don't know.
Maybe you could say shit like universal health care, Medicare for all, free college, a living wage, fight for 15.
Carb check, strong unions.
You could say that.
Jimmy, if we do all of that, though, then this guy won't be able to buy another private jet or another mansion.
So maybe we're being too hard on him, you know?
I'm with you.
They need to have a new brand created.
A new brand created.
Is the Democratic Party in worse shape than Republicans?
They're both insane.
Yeah.
That's the one thing he's right about.
Yeah, you know that.
That's the one thing he's right about.
And then this woman who I follows, she said this about him.
He's just another greedy, bloated parasite sucking the life out of the planet while using his ill-gotten gains to further rig the system against the rest of us.
We should tax him and all his cronies at a full 100%.
Yes!
Hey, after the show, what do you say?
We go find the richest house of town and fucking burn it to the ground.
What do you say?
And we send a message to those motherfuckers.
If I was crazy, I would actually do that.
But you know, I'm kidding.
You know, I'm kidding when I say that, right?
And then we...
As a goose.
Thank you.
All right.
So, so, so this, so she responded to him, and then guess what?
Jagoff Klupichek or whatever his fucking name is, he responded to her.
He says, creating 20,000 jobs, taking care of people, putting many kids through college, you must be a Bernie person who wants everything for free.
Get a job and add to the GDP.
It's okay to make money.
You realize when you grow up, everyone wants to do well.
So I responded to him and I said, when you say free stuff, you mean health care and education, not trillion dollar Wall Street bailouts and billion dollar oil subsidies.
Because I'm not talking about giving away free stuff, as Bernie says, wrong.
I am just suggesting your tax dollars could use for voluble public services instead of wasting billions on Wall Street, oil wars, and corporate subsidies, because it's the billionaires who are getting the free stuff.
*crowd cheers*
And let's find out.
Mike, did you figure out that guy, Klubeck, what he actually does for a living?
He runs, this is from Wikipedia, Diamond Resorts International.
And Diamond Results as a National is a timeshare that people use when they go on vacation.
So when he says he creates 20,000 jobs, he means that there wouldn't be those jobs if he didn't invent going on vacation.
Because that guy, it's what he's saying.
If I didn't invent timeshares, no one would go on vacation and then there wouldn't be jobs.
People would still go on fucking vacation and there would still be 20,000 jobs, you fucking dickface, and you know it.
You didn't create that job.
People wanting to go on fucking vacation created those jobs.
You stood up to fill a need that was in the economy.
That's how the economy works.
You don't create a job.
A fucking need is in the economy.
You show up to fill that need.
It could have been you or some other dumb motherfucker to fill that need, okay?
Some other guy.
Maybe the other guy here had his collar that lifts up to his earbuls.
Who fucking knows?
And by the way, there's such a, do you want to say something?
I just want to say how much I love this audience because I heard somebody shout out effin'timeshare laughter laughter laughter And here's what his company really does.
Diamond Resorts was compelled to settle with the state of Arizona for $800,000 in December of 2016, just freaking last December.
The state has received hundreds of consumer complaints against Diamond Resorts.
Consumers complained that Diamond used deceptive sales practices and made numerous oral misrepresentations and false statements during timeshare sales presentations.
What?
No way!
A timeshare company being shady does seem really out of character.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
So it turns out he's full of shit and he's a scammer like all of them.
And here's someone else I follow.
Charlotte Alter says, a trans woman beat the guy who introduced the bathroom bill.
A gun victim's boyfriend beat a delegate with an A grade from the NRA.
A civil rights lawyer who sued the police department just became the top prosecutor in Philadelphia.
Something's happening here, folks.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Right, Mike, wouldn't you say, what would be your assessment of this last election?
My assessment would be that the people voted for the farthest left candidate they could find.
What is your assessment?
My assessment is that if you don't give anybody a reason to vote, then they're not going to come out and support you.
So the Democratic Party, they try to appeal to the so-called moderates, but the problem is that in doing that, they're just making sure that their actual base, progressives, stay home.
And they don't get that.
So they think move further to the right.
So if we've learned anything or we should take away anything from this last couple of elections, it's that you have to be progressive and give voters a reason to come out.
It's that simple.
Hey, everybody, the holidays are just around the corner.
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Hey, everybody, this is the part of the show where I usually tell you to go to our Amazon.com link.
You know, we don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon, but if you do, we say have some of that money go to a progressive show like the Jimmy Door Show.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, doesn't cost you anything, but it's a big help to the show.
So the next time you want to buy something from Amazon, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Our Amazon box is right on the front page.
Click it.
It takes you to Amazon.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
But we have a new thing, a new way for you to help support us.
Well, you can become a premium member.
You already know about that.
And I'll tell you about it at the end of the show.
But we started a Patreon, right?
So because a lot of people feel more comfortable using Patreon than using PayPal or Amazon.
So that's another way you can help support the show.
We have a Patreon link.
Just go to patreon.com/slash jimmydoor, patreon.com slash jimmy door.
Go there.
You can become a patron of the Jimmy Door show.
And you know what matters more now than ever because our show has really blown up and gotten way more popular since we've been going on YouTube.
But we've gotten over a quarter million subscribers.
And so things are really happening.
And except YouTube pulled our funding out from underneath us, right?
So they don't want independent news anymore.
And YouTube's offering establishment news.
They're actually offering for a fee.
So they're funding independent news people like us.
So that's why we're offering Patreon.
That's why we're offering a premium.
That's why we offer the Amazon all these different ways.
And plus, we have the t-shirts.
We have all these different ways where you can help support the Jimmy Door show.
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And if you're more comfortable with Patreon, use our Patreon link.
If you're more comfortable using our PayPal, become a premium member.
So there's lots of different ways to support the show.
Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
Oh, look, it's the Eternal Optimist and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Barack Obama.
Yellow.
Congratulations.
The world's richest 1% now control half of the world's wealth.
That sounds horrible.
Well, okay, then let me lighten it up for you.
Three American billionaires are now wealthier than half the U.S. population.
That's great news.
How's that great news, Brock?
Because we all have the limitless potential to one day become one of those three white men.
Even you, you're not white.
Don't you ever say that again, Jimmy.
You put boundaries around people and they can't grow into old white men with half the country's wealth.
Okay, well, what makes you think you'll ever approach that amount of obscene wealth?
I got book deals with the wazoo, partner.
Then comes real estate investments.
With global warming, the new breadbasket of the world is moving into the steps of Russia.
Now's the time to invest in some cheap Russian real estate.
But according to a new poll, 59% of Americans believe we're living through the lowest point in our nation's history.
You couldn't be more correct, Jimmy.
As I just announced at the recent bill and the Linda Gates Foundation conference in New York, the world has never been healthier, wealthier, or less violent.
And you can thank me and the Democratic Party for that.
By the way, Lincoln centers never look more beautiful.
Manhattan's really pretty this time of year.
You should buy a townhouse there.
But most Americans think everything's horrible.
Absolutely.
And that's Donald Trump's fault.
And the Russians and those burn bros.
They're so mean.
Why are they so mean?
You dropped over 26,000 bombs last year on seven different countries.
How is the world less violent?
Thank goodness for drones, right?
Otherwise, we'd have American casualties up and out the ass.
Know what I mean?
That's progress.
Stop being such a gloomy guss.
And you really believe the world's never been healthier and wealthier?
When's the last time you heard of somebody dying from an imbalance of bodily humors?
That virtually never happens anymore.
I guess so, but.
And what about dropsy?
Never hear that word anymore.
You're more likely to die of cancer than you are of dropsy, like 7,000 times more likely.
Things are looking up.
But what about climate change?
Poison drinking water, endless war, and the NRA.
Nonsense, Jimmy.
There's never been a better time to be alive.
Everybody's moving to better neighborhoods and making $60 million book deals.
We're all wealthy, tolerant, and highly educated.
What planet are you living on, Jimmy?
Planet poo-poo, everything?
I live in the Los Angeles area where there's over 60,000 homeless people, Barack.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Thank goodness they're in a warm climate, right?
It's time to reject cynicism and to look with optimism to the future.
Sure, we have challenges, but there's no reason to believe NASA won't invent a cloaking device so we don't have to see those negative people anymore.
We're going to lead the world in manufacturing homeless shields.
Mark my words.
Okay, well, thanks for the words of inspiration.
Don't mention it.
Remember, don't litigate.
Deregulate.
Richard Escow, I want to talk to you about this because you were instrumental in the Bernie campaign.
And here's Donna Brazil inside Hillary Clinton's secret takeover of the DNC.
So what they weren't cheating in certain instances, the whole entire primary was rigged, and meaning that Hillary Clinton's campaign was running the DNC.
They were in charge of all the hirings, all the firings, all the communications that the DNC put out.
And more importantly, they were in charge of where all the money went That got raised by the DNC.
People were told that money was going to down ballot races.
It didn't.
It went to Hillary Clinton's victory fund in Brooklyn.
Now, you would agree with all that, correct?
I absolutely would.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would.
Now, you know, I know there were talks.
I think there were people on the Bernie campaign who liked Donna Brazil and all of that.
But from where I sit, yeah, I agree with everything you said.
So now, one of the things the Hillary Clinton campaign did was expose the left media as not being left media.
They're corporate.
They're center-right, corporate.
They don't mind lying to screw over a progressive.
It's just the weirdest thing.
Like, for instance, here's, so now we agree.
So here's Ezra Klein from Vox.
Those guys box harder than anybody I know.
And he says, big picture, the DNC didn't rig the primary, but Democratic elites really did clear the field for Clinton, which ironically helped Sanders.
So what he just said is the DNC didn't cheat, but they did cheat.
And it actually helped Sanders, not Hillary.
In that way, they cheated and it ended up helping Bernie Sanders who lost.
Isn't that something?
Isn't that weird?
Do you believe that for a second?
Okay, this is what you see a lot.
There's a lot of parsing going on.
Okay.
So number one, the DNC did rig the primary.
You know, the Donna Brazil piece says, well, yes, I was very upset with this deal that the Clinton campaign made.
But on the other hand, I looked very hard for evidence that they rigged the primary and I couldn't find any, which is weird because she didn't look at her own emails.
Right.
Because her own emails show her giving debate questions to the Clinton campaign and not to the Sanders campaign.
So yes, there were multiple, as far as I'm concerned, the primary was not a level playing field.
Now, what Ezra is saying here, first of all, he makes that.
I love the way these guys always make these flat statements as if their word is bond, right?
So then he says, well, yes, Democratic elites did clear the field.
He's not saying rigging.
He's saying they were all afraid to run against Hillary because the Clintons are known to be, he's not saying this part, but the Clintons are known to be so vindictive that nobody wanted to run against her and risk the revenge that they would take should she wind up becoming president.
And yes, actually, that did help Sanders.
Sure.
He had a wide open field.
And okay, primaries are good.
Voters should have choices.
Well, thanks, Ezra.
We appreciate that.
And I've known Ezra a long time.
So I don't want you to get in a fight with Ezra if you've known him for a long time.
No, no, I've gotten in fights with him before.
Okay, but so my mic, this is what I said about it.
Bigger picture, your news media gaslights and lies to you every day because that's what that is.
That's gaslighting you, which is another form of lying.
He's making you think, oh, I thought it was rigged because Donna Brazil wrote a book that said it was rigged, that they had an agreement that the Hillary Clinton campaign would literally run the DNC and funnel all the money to her campaign and would do everything else.
And plus the superdelegates and all that stuff.
Because she was running the money in the DNC, she was able to tell those people who are politicians saying, hey, if you want money from the DNC for your race, you better be nice to me and you better back me, which they all did.
Isn't that something?
They all did.
So it was more than just a little bit rigged, Richard.
It was 100% rigged.
And then a guy like Ezra Klein comes along and gaslights, which is a form of lying because it makes you think, oh, I guess I didn't hear what Donna Brazil said.
I didn't read that article in Politico.
It's all somehow I'm crazy and that it was all okay.
It was really nothing big.
And so that's lying.
And that's Ezra Klein fucking lying to he's not lying to the Russians.
He's not lying to the Republicans.
He's lying to the progressives.
He's lying to you because goddamn guarantee it, every motherfucking Hillary Clinton backer knows that that thing was rigged.
And so now what they're doing is lying.
They're doing exactly what Sean Hannity's doing.
They're just as bad as the right wing.
I never thought I'd see it in my life, but Hillary Clinton has turned the left-wing media into worse than Fox news.
I got to disagree with you on one point.
I don't consider them left-wing.
I think that the Democratic establishment and their media cohort, they are really, and I know this is not a popular word to use.
I think they're really a neoliberal establishment.
I think these are people that are invested in a worldview of elites, of a pseudo-professionalism, of the idea that you talk in a certain way about policy.
You know, Bernie, they hammered Bernie during the primary because Bernie said we got to break up the big banks.
If he had used their code, maybe they would have been nicer to them.
If he had said, well, we need to look at the irreversibility of certain levels of bank fiscal accumulation, particularly as it relates to the leveraging of assets.
They would have gone, oh, that's wonderful.
But when he talks English, then you violated the code.
And I would say that, yeah, there's gaslighting going on.
You just have to look at, by the way, when Brazil wrote that piece, when that excerpt from her book came out, the fact that part of the gaslighting is this sort of eye-rolling style.
You know what I'm talking about?
This kind of, well, no, they didn't really reg the primary.
And what came out after Brazil's piece was, no, Bernie had the same deal.
That was for three days.
That's all they said.
And I'm talking about Josh Marshall and talking points.
I'm talking about all these people.
And they're all saying, well, no, Bernie didn't have the same deal because they had this.
Well, but they didn't really, I mean, they tried to push everything.
One of the pieces of that Clinton-DNC deal that's gotten very little attention, but I think is really important is that it gave the Clinton campaign the right to preview and reject any statement made, not just about her, but about any candidate.
So that means, and now you don't think that the entire staff of the DNC watched everything they said and did and made sure they didn't say a single nice word about Bernie because they because they, you know, this is a terrible deal.
This is a corrupt deal.
And by the way, they also have not been talking about, well, why did the DNC have to borrow money to begin with?
Why did it get in so much trouble?
It got in trouble because Barack Obama wanted his own operation because it was going to be a one-man show.
It was all about him.
It was not about parties or allies or down ballot races.
That's why the Democratic Party lost a thousand legislature seats during the Obama presidency, give or take.
So, you know, this is really about Democratic elites who not only aren't that responsive to the base, they don't really care necessarily that much about other Democratic politicians either.
Yes, unless they're allies.
So Barack Obama didn't care what was happening to the DNC.
It seems he didn't care what was happening to the Democratic Party because it was crumbling under his leadership, meaning he's the leader of the party.
If you're the president, you're the leader of the party.
And like you said, a thousand seats got wiped out in state houses from coast to coast.
We lost governorships.
Did he just not care or did he or did he do that on purpose?
Well, you know, I don't, I doubt that he did the losing of the legislatures on purpose.
A lot of people thought in 2012 were amazed that he didn't do more to get Senate seats or congressional seats.
But there you get into speculation and it sounds crazy to some People, but there is some theory that says that for a certain type of ideology, if you're a Democrat, it's better to have an oppositional Congress than to have one that agrees with you or that is part of the same party of which you are ostensibly the leader.
So, you know, look, I've had my differences with Nancy Pelosi, but in the two years from 2008 to 2010, the Pelosi Congress, the Democratic Majority Congress, was more progressive than the Senate, Democratic Senate, or Obama.
By far, they did a good job.
And yet, you know, you would see Obama during those years saying, well, my friends on the left don't like this, and my friends on the right.
You know, this sort of above-it-all bipartisan posture.
And, you know, right now in Washington, D.C., everybody's mourning the death of bipartisan cooperation on Capitol Hill.
I'm celebrating it because they did terrible things.
The bipartisan deal would have gotten us more Social Security, would have gotten us Social Security cuts.
It would have gotten us Medicare cuts.
It would have gotten us.
The bipartisan cooperation on foreign policy has gotten us intervention all around the world, destabilization of the Middle East, drone assassinations of American and other citizens.
So one thing I don't miss in today's environment is bipartisanship.
Yeah, well, they still do it.
They just did it this week in the banking committee in the Senate.
They came together, Democrats and Republicans, to agree on relaxing banking regulations.
A couple weeks ago, they came together to increase the military budget $80 billion a year.
Right, you're right.
You remember that?
No discussion about that, by the way.
There's no meetings, no Anderson Cooper town halls, no Chris Hayes going to West Virginia and rolling up his sleeves to pretend he works.
None of that.
They just did it.
And by the way, I don't know if you remember, everybody and their brother told Jill Stein that she was crazy when she said you could do quantitative easing to get rid of student debt.
They just did that.
They just passed $80 billion a year, which could have wiped out pretty much almost all the students in the country over a 10-year period.
They just did it.
So when John Oliver comes on our TV in the United States with an English accent, a country that has universal health care and free college, and he comes here and tells us we can't have nice stuff and we're crazy, that motherfucker's gaslighting people and he's doing it from the left, right?
Yeah, I mean, Jill Stein was wrong about the mechanism, but there's 1.4 trillion in student debt right now, and they're just passing a $1.5 trillion tax giveaway to rich people.
So obviously, we've got the money.
Yeah.
But the idea, John Oliver's critique of her was that that is just a crazy idea.
He wasn't like, well, of course we should.
He didn't go, well, of course, this makes sense and we should do this, and we could easily afford it.
She might be wrong about the mechanism, but we can find a way to do it.
That's not what John Oliver did.
John Oliver did his fucking whole program to make her look like she was crazy and we could never have nice things in America.
We could never have the stuff that other countries have.
And you're fucking crazy if you think that.
That's what John Oliver did, and that's why he's a motherfucker.
Well, I didn't see that particular, but there seems to be a cycle of liberal comedians.
And I don't, I consider you to the left.
Yeah, yeah.
That they say things that are like cathartic and you feel great and you feel like I love this guy.
And then it's like, oh, there's always this moment of for me.
The biggest moment of letdown of all of them was when Colbert on his grand finale show had Henry Kissinger, the worst monster, the worst moral monster in recent American history.
And by the way, there's a lot of competition for that slot.
And he's got the little comic thing in the Colbert gig.
You know, there's always that letdown.
I didn't know, but I'm sorry to hear it because I haven't seen Oliver's show in a long time.
But that's what you get, you know.
And I think part of it is that they get, maybe they get brought into that elite circle where you're, you know, you're hanging out with Bill and Hillary and you're hanging out with this one and that one.
I don't know.
I'm not part of that world.
Bigger picture, your news media gaslights you and lies to you every day.
*music*
So Bill Maher says the same stupid shit that everyone has been saying.
Here we go.
First of all, I feel like we spent all of 2017 still stuck in 2016.
Oh, says the guy who's been stuck in 1994.
With his Clinton worship.
You know what I'm talking about.
Can we put the Bernie-Hillary thing aside?
That great divide.
I mean, that's what all the controversy was between.
Hey, can we just try to not talk about what the problem is for a while?
That's what all the controversy was with your book, you know, that the elections where the primaries were rigged.
Yeah, let's get over the Bernie Hillary thing unless I can make a joke blaming Jill Stein for natural disasters.
You know, it doesn't matter, first of all, now it's over.
What don't you get?
The primary is 100% rigged and we can never have a progressive as the nominee.
It's over.
What's the problem?
I don't understand it.
That's what he's fucking saying.
Jimmy, it doesn't matter that the primary was rigged, but it does matter that Russia posted a couple of memes on.
That's the real rigging, everyone.
That's exactly right.
And by the way, let's remember, half of all those $100,000 worth of Facebook ads, half of them aired after the election.
And then half of those aired in South the Urd States.
So Tip Talk, Louisi, we buy computer ads.
Don't forget to ask.
I have to ask.
Is it okay if I do this?
Here we go.
There's a little more to this.
And also the policy differences between the Bernie folks and the Hillary folks were really small to begin with.
That awful!
That's awesome!
The policy differences are very small to a millionaire.
You know, the difference between $12 and $15.
I know, what the fuck is the difference?
What's the difference between having a living wage and not?
Is there a difference between having a living wage and not having a living wage?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Do you know that during, I was in, oh, I was in Philly during the Democratic National Convention.
And hey, oh, it's good to see you again.
And Hillary Clinton was having meetings with fucking fracking advocates.
That's what she was having meetings.
And we were crashing them, trying to get questions in.
And they were asked why they were, oh, God damn it.
That was really literally happening.
So that there's, there's a big, the fucking head of her transition team was Ken Salazar, who's the head fracking motherfucker in the world.
What are you talking about?
There's a little bit.
There's a hundred thousand percent difference, which is why Bernie Sanders was filling stadiums and Hillary Clinton couldn't fill the fucking laundromat.
Are you shitting me?
I was at those rallies.
I saw the difference.
I was there at West Hills.
All right, here we go.
That's another thing that could hold us back.
Well, you know, Bill, after the presidential campaign, we should assess what happened.
The Republicans did an autopsy report.
I assumed that the Clinton campaign would do their form of autopsy.
So look what's happening.
This is a fucking comedian who is having to be fucking straightened out by a corrupt motherfucking politician.
That's how shitty he is right now that the fucking cheating, lying DNC chair who oversaw a fucking rigged primary has to straighten the comedian out about the fucking truth.
Real time?
That sounds like old-time bullshit is what it sounds like to me.
Can you imagine me having a conversation with Donal Brazil and Don and Brazil actually straightening my shit out?
And I'd be like, I guess you're right.
I guess the Democrats were fucked up, Donna.
I guess you're right.
As chair of the Democratic Party, I felt the responsibility to tell my story.
I was chair.
I became chair because the party was hacked.
The country was hacked.
And so this notion that somehow or another I cannot tell my story, the story of the Democratic National Committee in a year that Donald Trump won by less than 100,000 votes.
The party needs to examine that.
And then I believe we can heal.
You cannot heal an open wound by just dressing it, you know, dressing it.
I have to analyze it, talk about it, all of it, and then I think we can move forward.
Okay, so you...
Is anyone else really confused by that?
That's exactly how you fucking.
What are you?
You don't just heal an open wound by fucking doing exactly what you're supposed to do to an open wound.
Hey, Donna.
There's metaphors in her book.
I don't know.
I'm with Bill Maher.
Donna Brazil shouldn't write a book about this.
Hey, tune in next week when we defend Milo Yellapoulis' right to free speech.
So Bill Maher says that doesn't matter, right?
He says that there was no difference.
It's over.
It's old news, but it does fucking matter, right?
So that's just an out-of-touch millionaire telling you what is the most important thing in the world doesn't matter.
That's called gaslighting.
And I can't wait.
I can't wait till I'm successful enough to where instead of illuminating truths, I use my comedy to gaslight the peasants and apologize for corruption.
I cannot wait for that to happen.
Oh, someday.
Oh, someday.
Oh, someday.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Well, hello there, young man.
This is the Right Honorable Jeffrey Barcall, Earth Wheelie Jackson, Holes Sessions III.
Kindly, may I present myself at your service, sir.
Oh, hi, Mr. Attorney General.
I called to clear some things up for your listeners.
My opinions at the congressional hearings may have painted me in an embarrassing light, understand?
Okay, but I just need to make your listeners understand that I wasn't lying during the hearings.
Sometimes people just can't recall things, is all.
I have been asked to remember, and I can only, to the best of my memory, not remember.
Are you getting all this?
I think so.
Let's not forget that the intentional failure to remember can constitute perjury.
So let's say I intentionally forgot something.
Well, then, I'm committing a criminal act, but I never intentionally forget anything.
Can you give us an example of how you might intentionally forget something?
Certainly.
Let's say you asked me where I left my keys.
And then let's suppose before answering, I hit myself over the head with long jockey, thereby causing short-term memory loss.
That would be a criminal act.
Okay, so where do you leave your keys?
Ow!
Jesus, what happened?
Where am I?
You still have long jockeys?
Aren't those racists?
Ow!
Hey, oh, I found my keys.
Are you going to replace Roy Moore in Alabama special election coming up?
I cannot recall where I put my keys again, sir.
But in our part of the country, it's customary to ask permission of a young lady's father before being creepy with her at the mall.
Is there anything about the Alabama Chief Justice you have more on?
Who are you calling a moron, sir?
I'm not calling you a moron.
I'm asking if there's anything about this you have more on.
You just call me a moron, sir.
You know, there's a lot more to that phone call.
We don't have time in today's podcast.
Of course, we have time, but we have to save stuff for our premium members.
It's a great way to help support the show.
Our audio premium is only $5 a month.
If you'd like video premium, that's $10 a month.
It's a great way to help support the show because nobody else is except you.
That's who we're answering to, our listeners.
Thanks so much for your support.
Our next live show in Burbank, California is December 4th.
That's December 4th for our next live Jimmy Door show in Burbank, California, and November 20th at the Hollywood Improv.
Links for tickets at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
I'd like to thank my guest, Mike Figueredo from the Humanist Report and from the Zero Hour Richard Escow.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McRae, Ron Placone, Brian Granillo, Steph Zamarano, and Jim Earle.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying.
You be the best you can be.
I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
not freak out Don't freak you.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out!
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freaking out.
I'm not even going to do not freak out.
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