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Sept. 9, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
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20170909_0907_TJDS_PODCAST
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Two live Jimmy Door shows in September, September 18th in Burbank, California, and September 25th in San Diego, California.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for tickets.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Door show.
Hello?
Jim, Jim, Jam, Jimmy, James, Jammy, James, Jimmy.
It's Harrison.
Ford, the actor.
From movies.
Harrison Ford, what a treat.
How have you been?
Pretty good, Jimmy.
Never been better, in fact.
I'll put it that way.
Wow, really?
What have you been doing lately?
Dabs.
Dabs?
What are dabs?
Figured you'd know what I was talking about.
I'm talking about dabs, honey, bubble young, earwax, shatter, toejamin Earl, crumble, crumblaya, Bruce Baum, Crazy Glue, Sticky Henderson, Earl and Lank.
Yeah, I think I might have heard of that last one.
Every day I drink two cups of black coffee.
I eat half a grapefruit, a little sugar on top.
Then I pull my dabbing rig up from the freezer, and I just, um, I just blast off, Jim.
Oh, all right, I get it.
I mean, I'm not exactly hip to it, but from the slang you're slinging, I can deduce that it's some kind of cannabis thing, correct?
You're goddamn right it is.
Gotta try it, Jimmy.
You'll love it.
In fact, that's why I'm calling.
Why don't you and the wife come out over to Jackson Hole this Labor Day weekend?
I'll take you up in my helicopter and you can watch me operate a butane torch.
Harrison, Labor Day was last weekend.
And secondly, why would you have a butane torch in your helicopter?
Aren't you in enough trouble with the FAA?
Oh, please.
I'm an FP, Jimmy.
Famous person.
Oh.
My face is my stay out of jail forever card.
Oh, yeah, I get it.
Not to mention, I'm seriously fucking rich.
Right.
So what do you say, Jay Hole?
Maybe next weekend we'll get higher than our ranker's nuts.
Star Wars reference that I know you don't understand.
I had no idea.
I know.
I had no, I thought a ranker was some kind of animal.
I'll have to get back to you.
Did I mention I'm mega rich?
Does that sweeten the deal at all?
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned it.
What else is new with you?
Got any more acting gigs coming up?
I mean, you're probably excited about that sequel, The Blade Runner, no?
Oh, yeah.
I remember thinking, man, I was...
Too bad, though.
It'll never get made.
What are you talking about?
It did get made.
It's coming out next month, I think.
You're kidding.
Harrison, you're in it.
I am.
Yeah.
You don't remember doing it, being on the set?
It's got Ryan Gosling and Jared Leto in it, too.
Oh, Jesus, those dinks.
And.
And I'm in it also.
Are you sure?
I saw the trailer.
It's you, buddy.
Ah, Jimmy.
There's the picture...
You know, I don't know.
I really don't like sci-fi movies anyway, so.
Oh, that makes me nervous.
Pray to God that Vangelis did the music again, right?
Maybe a CGI MM at Walsh.
Am I in it a lot?
So many questions.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Why is my career in this feedback loop with my career from four years ago?
I keep agreeing to these nostalgia pictures and I keep cashing these monster checks.
And for what?
What am I putting out into the world?
Spielberg was right.
Should have retired a long time ago.
I feel sick.
I think I'm going to squeeze.
Oh, fuck.
Hey, hey, you know what's good for an upset stomach, Harrison?
Probably a little of that dabaroo you were talking about.
No, Jimmy.
I think it's time I put down my rig.
What?
Maybe, in my advanced age, I should consider more seriously the positive effect my celebrity could be having.
Maybe I should narrate some more forest fire PSAs.
Or wait, maybe I ought to take one of my vintage airplanes and douse some of these California wildfires.
You think you can do that?
Well, sure.
I did the ice bucket challenge.
It'd be kind of like that.
Get up in my plane, drop some ice water on them shits.
Anything helps, I guess.
Or maybe it's not too late to join the humanitarian effort in Houston or Florida or the U.S. Virgin Islands or Puerto Rico.
Maybe I can rescue stranded hurricane survivors or some shit.
Couldn't be accused of phoning something like that in.
That sounds mighty gallant of you.
What the fuck?
I've got at least one more plane crash left in me.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-livered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
September 18th is our next live show in Burbank, California.
That's a Monday.
And September 25th in San Diego, California.
We're going to be there September 25th.
Those are both Mondays.
Go to Jimmy DoorComedy.com for links for tickets.
All right.
You know, we're in DC this week.
That's right.
The draft Bernie, the Convergence Convention is this weekend.
So the whole show, we're all out there.
We're doing a live Jimmy Door show with Lee Camp and Tim Black on Friday night.
And Saturday, we're hosting a town hall with Jama Suwan and Cornell West and Nick Brana.
But guess what?
We put together a show anyway.
We got a great show coming up.
Hey, we don't have time to get to the jokes.
Before we get to the jokes, I just want to remind everybody that Alan Greenspan is 91 years old, and we're really running out of good prison years for him, okay?
So who's ever in charge?
Let's get on that.
What's coming up on today's show?
Well, we're gonna Hillary Clinton wrote a new book.
That's right.
You know her new book, what happened?
That has been leaked.
There's been a couple of pages that have leaked.
We're gonna talk about it.
Plus, Paul Ryan talks to a nun.
What is he saying?
Well, the answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, we got phone calls today from Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Bernie Sanders.
That's right.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Door Show.
I don't know if you saw this, but Hillary Clinton's new book, What Happened?
What happened?
What happened?
And in it, she says Donald Trump is a creep and that her skin crawled during the debate.
He's a creep.
I don't know if I'm going to have to challenge the veracity of that statement, Hillary, because I saw this picture.
So I'm going to have to challenge the veracity of your he's creep and made your skin crawl.
Because he used to make you giggle like a little fun-having fun-time person.
Definitely fun-having fun-time person.
That's at his wedding.
You were happy to go to his wedding, weren't you?
You're all proud to stand next to him, giggle at him.
Look how funny he is.
You knew they were taking pictures, right?
Yes.
That was far.
He was great.
That was just when he was chasing Barack Obama around for his birth certificate.
That smear that you started.
So you can't say that when there's this picture, when you're at his wedding, arm in frickin' arm with him.
You can't say he creeps you out and made your skin crawl when that exists.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you also can't yell at Bernie for staying in the primary till the end when you did it in 2008 and justified it to anybody that criticized you.
Can't do that either.
Can't do that either.
So, okay, so here's from the parts of her book got released.
Oh, boy.
So here, can you say, I'll read it to you.
Because we agreed on so much, they didn't agree on so much.
They didn't agree on so much.
They didn't agree on banking.
They didn't agree on the minimum wage.
They didn't agree on fracking.
They didn't agree on free college.
They didn't agree on a lot of things.
Because we agreed on so much, Bernie couldn't make an argument against me in this area on policy, which is, again, just the black is white, up is down, and his side is out.
All Bernie did was criticize her policy.
That's all he did.
Isn't that wild to hear her say that?
Yes, you mean like she's fictionalizing what really happened in her book?
And the fact that she won't stop it.
Like, it's been a goddamn year already.
Cut it up.
Remember?
And she comes out now.
This is September now.
So the last time we talked about she was at that Codicon or whatever that thing is called.
Remember what they're sitting in the chairs, the high red chairs.
Oh, yeah.
And she, at that point, she blamed the DNC.
You remember that?
She said they had bad data.
They had no data.
Remember that?
Yes.
And then there was a bankrupt.
And then there was a guy who was in charge of the.
Yeah, they were bankrupt, she said.
And then the guy who was in charge of the, or one of the guys who had something to do with the dad at the DNC, started tweeting out stuff.
No, here's the data that we showed you that you ignored.
And then they made him take those tweets down.
Did you hear that story?
No.
No, you're not up on that?
I did not hear that part.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was back then.
So she's blamed everybody so far.
She's not in Russia.
Millennial feminists.
Millennial feminists.
That's a fun one.
That's my favorite.
That's you.
You're millennial, right?
Yeah.
And a feminist.
And you're a feminist, right?
I've been called that.
I feel like it's not.
I feel like a guy can't make that claim.
You know what I mean?
What is a feminist?
Maria Steinem said that.
But Bernie was an honorary woman.
Little feminist.
No, she said honorary woman.
Yeah, that's why it's a big deal.
Anyway, who cares?
So she goes, so he had to resort to innuendo and impugning my character.
You called him sex.
He's sexist.
He does.
He's racist.
He doesn't.
Black people doesn't know how to.
What didn't you say?
The only thing that you guys said about Bernie Sanders was impugning his character.
We've talked about this.
When someone's to your left, you don't attack his policies because his policies are better than yours.
So you smear him.
And that's what you guys did to Bernie.
What do you think we didn't see?
We didn't see the campaign.
And she's going to do it again right here, I bet you.
Well, you know, Jimmy, just that she says impugning my character.
Yeah.
I couldn't believe on so many times where they were on the debate stage together and how respectful and honest.
He's going out of his way to be a real human being, not making it gender politics.
I don't want to hear about your goddamn emails anymore.
What about this?
Yes.
The guy couldn't have been more magnanimous.
She couldn't have gotten an easier walk in the primary.
God forbid she had someone who actually had the fangs out for her or the claws out for her.
Anyway, let's get back to that.
Well, even when he was asked leading questions, too.
Like, he wouldn't take the, like, he wouldn't take the bait.
He's like, I'm not going to attack her character.
We're going to talk about policies.
And he would bring up the list.
He's like, I support $15 an hour minimum wage.
I support single payer.
I support, you know, she does not.
And I'm so sorry, Jimmy.
Just that saying resort to innuendo.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm running for office against you.
Thus, I'm impugning your character.
Yeah, that's it.
He ran against me.
So he's impugning my character.
Some of his supporters, the so-called Bernie bros, took to harassing my supporters online.
It got ugly and more than a little sexist.
More than a little.
So that means a lot.
It was sex.
So Bernie's supporters are sexists.
So now she's impugning and smearing not only Bernie, but half the goddamn party.
You know, Bernie won 23 fucking states.
Half the party.
She's impugning the people that she's pissed off that didn't support her in the general.
You wonder why?
Look, this is unfucking believable that she's doing this.
She's doing the same.
He's a sexist.
So do you understand why the people still voted for Donald Trump after you call him a sexist?
Because you call Bernie Sanders a sexist.
And if Bernie Sanders is a sexist and Donald Trump is a sexist and his supporters are sexist, the most progressive motherfuckers in the party, then I guess that's not what that word doesn't mean what you think it means.
And people dismiss you.
There's a little book.
There's a children's story.
Maybe your mom read it to you as a kid.
Maybe not.
It's called The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
So when you do that, that you're the boy who cried wolf.
And now you don't know why the right wing makes fun of you, why everyone makes fun of you when you do this and nobody takes you seriously.
Because there is such a thing in the world as sexism.
There is such a thing as misogyny.
There is such a thing as those things.
Bernie ain't it.
Nor his followers.
Were there people who were assholes to you on Twitter?
Join the goddamn club, you fucking victim.
Everybody's shitty to people on Twitter.
I get called everything.
That's what they're talking about.
Online.
Harassing my supporters online.
Your supporters are still fucking harassing people.
Still.
They won't let this fucking thing go.
You lost to Trump.
Go ahead.
Well, I got to be honest with you, Jimmy.
I don't know why you're saying this is unbelievable.
I mean, she blamed everybody over the span of several months.
This is like the greatest hits of scapegoats.
You really think this wasn't going to be compiled?
No, I guess you're right.
You're right.
You know what?
I just have to say it doesn't happen often, but she hasn't mentioned the Mexicans.
You know, she's mentioned the DNC.
She's mentioned Russia.
She's mentioned Trump.
She's mentioned Bernie being all the reasons why she couldn't get to office.
She hasn't blamed the Mexicans yet.
Or white women.
White women voted for Trump more than her.
And Mexicans did vote for Trump, right?
What was this?
Like 30% of the Latino population voted for Trump.
Am I wrong?
I thought it was higher than that.
Cool.
Let's Google it.
Let's get that accurate number.
But in the meantime, I'll read this.
It got ugly and more than a little sexist.
When I finally challenged Bernie during a debate to name a single time I changed a position or a vote because of a Financial contribution.
He couldn't come up with anything.
Nobody said health care real loud.
No one said that.
So really?
You don't support single payer just because you're dumb?
You don't support single payer just because you don't know how it works in the rest of the world?
Is that why you don't support single payer?
You're telling me you voted for the bankruptcy bill to remove bankruptcy protections from individuals from credit card companies.
You did that without a contribution.
You voted to let Wall Street charge people 35% interest on their credit cards.
And you know who gets charged that?
The people are in financial trouble.
And you voted for that without a donation?
You voted for the Iraq war without a donation from the military industrial complex.
You voted for the Patriot Act without a donation from Booz Allen.
Really?
That's how you really fucking feel?
Wow.
So nonetheless, his attacks cause lasting damage.
That's what she says.
Nonetheless, his attacks cause lasting damage, making it harder to unify progressives in the general.
So apparently, I was told by lots of people, people who used to be on this show, I was told that you can't vote for Bernie in the primary because he'll get killed in the general because the Republicans will attack him and he'll fold.
That'll be it.
He's never faced opposition like this.
But apparently, the most heavily funded, most well-oiled political machine in the history of our country couldn't withstand Bernie Sanders, an unknown independent senator from Vermont, running in a prime.
That was all it took to take her down.
That's what took her down.
It wasn't a concern.
So she would have been able to handle the right-wing smears attack, but she couldn't because she fucking lost to Trump.
But she was so, so this secular talk, Kyle Kalinske says, I love he tweeted this out.
He goes, Hillary, you can't run Bernie in a general.
He's so easy to attack and beat.
Also, Hillary, I believe because I was so easy to attack and beat and beat, I put the blame on Bernie.
That's exactly, by the way, in the bottom, she says, she made it harder to unify progressives in the general election and paved the way for Trump's crooked Hillary campaign.
You know what made it hard to unify progressives in the general?
When you picked a fracking lobbyist to be your transition team chief, that made, oh, Ken Salazar, remember that?
Maybe you should have done that at the DNC.
Maybe, you know what else made it hard to coalesce progressives around you in the general?
When you didn't let Nina Turner speak, but you did, you didn't let Nina Turner speak, but you did let Michael Bloomberg, a billionaire freaking fascist who instituted stop and frisk in New York City against black and brown people.
You let that guy speak, but you didn't let Nina Turner.
Maybe you know what else made it hard to coalesce progressives around you?
The fact that you picked Tim Kaine, someone to the right of you to run as your vice president instead of someone to the left of you.
These are all things you could have did to reach out to progressives, but you didn't.
Why?
Because your hubris made you into a political moron.
You're already political poison.
Hillary Clinton does not have the ability to make her poll numbers go up.
The minute she starts campaigning, her poll numbers go down.
They never go up.
They never get hired from the first day she starts.
Maybe that's why she didn't go to Michigan and Wisconsin, because she knew if she would have gone to Michigan and Wisconsin, her poll numbers would have went even lower.
So it just turns out she just couldn't beat Donald fucking Trump.
Real quick, got 29% of the Latino vote.
Donald Trump got 29%.
Donald Trump got 29%.
She doesn't mention them.
Isn't that funny?
But it's the sexist Bernie Bros.
She still, she puts that fucking word in there, Bernie Bros, and says more than a little sexist.
Why phrase it like that?
Why not say it was really sexist?
Why say more than a little?
What a weird phrasing, right?
She goes on, I don't know if that bothered Bernie or not.
He certainly shared my horror at the thought of Donald Trump becoming president, and I appreciated that he campaigned for me in the general election, but he isn't a Democrat.
That's not a smear.
No, the other thing was a smear.
All that other shit I said, though, was a smear.
That's not a smear.
That's what he says.
He didn't get into the race to make sure a Democrat won the White House.
He got in to disrupt the Democratic Party.
He got in because he saw that the Democratic Party was going to fucking lose to a right-wing demagogue.
And guess what you did?
You lost to a right-wing demagogue.
And Bernie was right.
And he tried to pull you to the left, and you wouldn't come.
He got in to try to save the goddamn Democratic Party, to try to return it to its roots.
He tried to make you a fucking Democrat, Hillary.
Isn't that ironic?
An independent ran in the Democratic primary to get you to be a fucking Democrat.
She goes on.
He was right that the Democrats needed to strengthen our focus on working families and that there's always a danger of spending too much time courting donors because of our insane campaign finance system.
So she makes, she's, again, she's a victim of the campaign finance system.
First of all, this is just her.
She doesn't care how much of a narcissist you think she is anymore.
She doesn't, she can't help herself.
She is very much like Trump in that regard.
She cannot help herself.
Do you know this is only going to appeal to about 10% of the population?
Even Chuck Schumer is done with this shit.
Even he said, you know, when you lose to Donald Trump, you can't blame anybody else.
When you spend twice as much money as he does, and you have everybody on your side.
Chuck Schumer said you blame yourself.
And Hillary Clinton said, hold my beer.
He also encouraged a lot of young voters to get into the political process for the first time, which is extremely important.
But I think he was fundamentally wrong about the Democratic Party, the party that brought us Social Security under Roosevelt.
And guess who tried to make it privatized?
Bill Clinton.
And guess who repealed the New Deal banking regulations to crash our economy?
Bill Clinton.
You can't bring up Roosevelt without bringing up the fact that your husband fucking repealed the New Deal banking regulations and that you gutted welfare at the same time you passed NAFTA, you son of a bitch.
Are you kidding me?
The party that brought us Social Security under Roosevelt, which we tried to dismantle, Medicare and Medicaid under Johnson, which Barack Obama also tried to screw over with his grand bargain, which is a cut to Social Security and Medicare, which the Republicans actually had to stop him from doing.
Do you see how bad the Democratic Party has gotten?
You don't even realize the shit you're bragging about.
You and fucking Barack Obama tried to dismantle.
Peace between Israel and Egypt under Carter.
Broad-based prosperity and a balanced budget under Clinton, which thanks to a dot-com bubble.
And rescued the auto industry, passed health care reform, passed health care reform.
So this gives a perfect example to make one of my favorite points.
When the Democrats had control of the House, the Senate, and the White House, they passed health care reform.
You know what health care reform they passed?
They passed the Republican health care reform.
They passed RomneyCare, which was thought up at the Heritage Foundation.
They didn't pass the fucking Medicare for All, the single payer, the Democratic, that's the Democratic version of health care reform is single payer, Medicare for all, or at least a public option.
Barack Obama didn't give us that either.
So the health care reform she's bragging about is Romney care, the shit that fucking right wing thought up that we implemented because the Democrats are so bought and paid for now.
It's unbelievable, this list of shit she's trying to talk about.
And imposed tough new rules on Wall Street.
Oh, my God.
Hold on, Jimmy.
That one's accurate.
I mean, people were so happy with the tough new rules on Wall Street that Obama imposed, they decided to occupy them because they were so impressed.
Brock's whole cabinet was filled out in an email that came from Citigroup.
He then appointed the same people who drove us into the ditch to drive us out.
He didn't prosecute one Wall Street criminal, not one.
And he made every bank bigger.
He did the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do and what people expected him to do, which is why we got Trump.
I am proud to be a Democrat, and I wish Bernie were too.
I wish you were a Democrat.
You're a Republican.
You're a Republican.
You are a Goldman Sachs Republican with a rainbow flag.
That's what Graham Elwood said today on aggressive progressives, and I concur.
I love what this guy, Amir I follow.
He says, this level of denial, dishonesty, and viciousness would be shocking if this weren't written by Hillary Clinton.
Denial, the level of denial, dishonesty, and viciousness.
Here, I'll give you one last thing on this because Jake Sullivan, my top policy advisor, told me it reminded him of a scene from the 1998 movie, There's Something About Mary.
A deranged hitchhiker says he's come up with a brilliant plan.
Instead of the famous eight-minute abs exercise routine, he's going to market seven-minute abs.
It's the same, just quicker.
Then the driver played by Ben Stiller says, well, why not six-minute abs?
That's what it was like in policy debates with Bernie.
We would propose, we would, we, this is Hillary speaking, we would propose a bold infrastructure investment plan or an ambitious new apprenticeship program for young people, and then Bernie would announce basically the same thing, but bigger.
First of all, Bernie introduced an infrastructure plan a year ahead of Hillary Clinton.
So that's just a blatant lie again.
So on issue after issue, it was like he kept proposing four-minute abs or even no minute abs.
Magic abs.
That's a great analogy, actually.
I mean, using healthcare as an example, you know, Hillary was going to try to work within Obamacare while still keeping the insurance companies happy, whereas Bernie wanted to do single payer, something that like magic abs has never happened anywhere else.
So in it, she says Bernie would announce basically the same thing, but bigger.
So whatever they would announce, she's accusing.
It was exactly, as you know, if you follow the campaign, it was the exact opposite.
She started to ape, and the only time she started to ape all of Bernie's positions, she was a moderate.
She was proud to be a moderate, and then all of a sudden she was a progressive who got things done.
Who's aping who?
Bernie never called himself a moderate who wanted single payer.
He called himself a progressive.
So our friend Katie Helper, she rewrote that paragraph.
So let's go down to the good part.
That's what it was like in policy debates with Bernie.
We would propose a $12 minimum wage, and then Bernie would announce his support for Fight for 15.
On issue after issue, it was like he kept proposing bold and exciting ideas we would begrudgingly adopt.
That's what that's like minimum wage or TPP.
Minimum wage or the TPP.
So that's if Hillary had a better editor, that's what Katie Helper says.
If Hillary, because that's how it should read.
But of course, she, again, black is white, up is down, in is out for Hillary Clinton.
Bernie Sanders, most popular politician in the country.
This is from a Harvard Harris poll, August 2017.
He has a net favorability of plus 18.
That's Bernie all the way on the right.
This is Bernie here.
Next to him is Elizabeth Warren.
She has a net favorability of 4%.
So the next closest, most popular politician is Elizabeth Warren.
Bernie's support is quadruples hers.
His net favorabilities quadruple hers.
I don't know if you look over here.
Who's this?
Nancy Pelosi, minus 16.
Hillary Clinton, minus 11.
Go win a presidential campaign with negative favorabilities.
Oh, you can't do it.
Didn't do it.
Can I point out something, Jimmy?
Yes, you can point out something.
Number three is Mike Pence.
So everybody that keeps saying that impeachment would be a good move politically, number three is Mike Pence.
I'll just say it one more time.
Number three, Mike Pence.
How pathetic the Democrats are that Mike Pence is more popular than Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.
And so is Rex Tillerson, who's the guy from Exxon who's our Secretary of State.
Wow.
The only one more unpopular than Nancy Pelosi on this is Steve Bannon and Mitch McConnell.
Mitch McConnell has a minus 30 net favorability, and the Democrats still couldn't beat him.
Think about that.
So they got that new website, Verit, right, that Peter Douche launched to support Hillary Clinton.
And Peter Douche, by the way, is now tweeting at it.
It's funny.
Not Peter Dowell, but Peter Douche.
And he says, Bernie Sanders only appeals to the friends 92% of the Democrats.
Peter Douche.
And then you get an authentication code to make sure it's not a fake news.
Did you know that?
When you make posts, you have to authentication code first.
It's the weirdest website.
By the way, I just want to just, here's some more of the people in denial.
This is Nomi, Nomiki Konst, right?
And she's a friend of the show.
She tweeted out a fun fact.
She goes in 1983, neoliberals manifesto, Peters, blamed unions, said Social Security was wasteful and called for a war on public schools.
She tweets that out.
That's what happened to the Democrats.
They became neoliberals, and they didn't like unions.
They didn't like Social Security, and they didn't like public schools.
What's the point of being a Democrat?
You know, you're just a Republican.
So this guy, who's another one of these tools, these Hillary Clinton tools who just can't let it go, one of these corporate Democrats who hates progressives, he writes, people who think documents from 1983 are relevant to today's political landscape.
If nothing else, it's amusing to watch.
1958 next.
That guy's book collection has to suck.
Yeah.
That guy has a shitty book collection.
Because those books aren't relevant today.
They were written in the past.
Well, you know, he doesn't have 1984.
You know, aha.
Hey, by the way, Eric, you know what they say?
Those who don't learn from the past go to work for David Brock.
And that's what he does.
All right.
Oh, by the way, this is that Facebook thing that was going around.
Universal health care coverage is a very radical idea, a pie in the sky, a pony.
Yeah, it's like magic abs.
Look at all those.
Yeah.
Look at all those nations that are magic abs.
Everybody has this pony that we can't seem to get.
Oh, the only one?
USA can't have a pony.
Isn't that funny?
Okay, so there you go.
Any last words?
I'm done with, I'm done with it.
I'm so, so goddamn sick and tired of these corporate Democrats, and I'm so sick and tired of Hillary Clinton and her fucking sycophantist supporters.
Oh, it's so painful, the Democrats, huh?
Hey, everybody, this is the part of the show where I usually tell you to go to our Amazon.com link.
You know, we don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon, but if you do, we say have some of that money go to a progressive show like the Jimmy Door show.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, doesn't cost you anything, but it's a big help to the show.
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Our Amazon box is right on the front page.
Click it.
It takes you to Amazon.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
But we have a new thing, a new way for you to help support us.
Well, you can become a premium member.
You already know about that, and I'll tell you about it at the end of the show.
But we started a Patreon, right?
So because a lot of people feel more comfortable using Patreon than using PayPal or Amazon.
So that's another way you can help support the show.
We have a Patreon link.
Just go to patreon.com/slash Jimmy Door, patreon.com/slash Jimmy Door.
Go there.
You can become a patron of the Jimmy Door show.
And you know what matters more now than ever because our show has really blown up and gotten way more popular since we've been going on YouTube.
But we've gotten over a quarter million subscribers.
And so things are really happening.
And except YouTube pulled our funding out from underneath us, right?
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And YouTube's offering establishment news.
They're actually offering for a fee.
So they're funding independent news people like us.
So that's why we're offering Patreon.
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That's why we offer the Amazon, all these different ways.
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We have all these different ways where you can help support the Jimmy Door show.
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If you're more comfortable using our PayPal, become a premium member.
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Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
Hello.
Hey, babes.
How's it hanging there, Sport?
Is this George Clooney?
I don't know.
Let me look.
Oh, yes, me.
Hey, what's up, Jimmy Boy?
Oh, things are going great for us.
We're doing lots of live shows and getting more subscribers every day.
Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, guess what I'm doing with all my tequila money?
I'm going to give one mil to the Southern Law Poverty Center or whatever it's called, and another 20 big large to the crap.
Oh, the Clooney Foundation for Justice.
Wow, that is impressive.
How much did you sell the company for?
About a billion.
Oh, my God.
You ever take $100 million?
No.
But you get fucked hard by the taxes, right?
Oh, yeah.
It ain't all profit, boss.
You ever try Shimaid cheese?
Seriously, it's light years away from cheddar.
So what are you up to?
Well, I just told you.
Man, Beyonce are doing a telethod for a hurricane relief.
That's what it is.
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, well, we got a gig at flappers coming up.
Oh, it's fucking cool, Daddy O. Hey, I photo bombed Matt Damon.
He was having dinner in Venice.
Ever been there?
The Venice next to Santa Monica Venice?
Big thud on that joke.
Von Meister.
Hey, my kid eats like a damn moose.
The other one just sits there all elegantly.
It's like they both have different personalities.
I guess that's natural at three months, right?
Well, we don't have kids, so I wanted to know.
Ah, my bad, dude.
Didn't know you guys were barren.
Yeah.
Uncool of me.
I apologize.
Let's change the subject.
Right now, I'm looking classic in my Armani tucks.
What are you wearing everybody?
Sport, sport.
What are you supporting sport?
I'm wearing my shorts.
Wow.
Awkward.
Seriously, nobody wearing.
George, have you ever thought about running for office?
Oh, heck yeah.
Being president sounds like fun.
Just fun.
A lot of fun.
There's a lot of stuff this country hasn't come to terms with.
Gotta lift up that curtain and look underneath that thin veneer.
My son's a damn moose.
Millie agrees.
Don't you, Millie?
Millie, baby.
Come here.
I love bashtowns, but there's a lot of drooling going on in that whole situation.
Yeah, yeah.
We got a little chihuahua named Brownie.
Ah, one of those small, yappy things.
No offense, bro.
But Millie Krapp's chihuahuas.
She's great, though.
God love dogs.
Who's the flavor of the month, Door?
I don't know.
I'm the flavor of the month, and that flavor is delicious.
What's your flavor, Jimmy Boy?
I really don't have a flavor, George.
Ah, come on, knickknack patty whack.
Give this dog a bone, baby.
All right.
Well, I like justice.
I got you, pegged Sheamus.
You're no nonsense, and I like that.
There's so much we can learn from you.
The truth is, most actors I know are assholes, right?
I never wear makeup in the movies, even for stuff like bullet wounds.
Starting to show my age, but I'm at the stage in life where I'm comfortable with it.
Plus, worth a couple of billion.
I used to go to Heft's grotto, and all the chicks would stand around me for pictures like I was a cardboard cutout of myself.
I partied a lot in college and sold men's suits.
I didn't take school seriously.
Sometimes when I cough, I think of my uncle Harry.
He was a good man, but hard to figure out.
Spencer Tracy is my hero.
He never wore makeup.
Hello.
Hello.
Is anybody there?
Jimmy, I can't believe he hung up on me.
It's not an ego issue, which has always been an interesting thing.
What happens is you get a modicum of success, and then it becomes the strangest shit you've ever seen.
I'm from Kentucky, okay?
We try not to live in trailers.
That's not something we do.
We don't brag about being in a double wide or the largest trailer.
And then all of a sudden.
Guess what we're talking about?
Paul Ryan had a problem with a nun.
So all different sects of the Catholics have been coming at Paul Ryan for a long time, ever since he got in power, about how un-Catholic his policies are.
His economic policies, his tax policies, and his healthcare policies, right?
So here a nurse stands up to him at a town hall, and she asks him a good question.
I know that you're Catholic, as am I. And it seems to me that most of the Republicans in the Congress are not willing to stand with the poor and working class, as evidenced in the recent debates about health care and the anticipated tax reform.
So I'd like to ask you how you see yourself upholding the church's social teaching that has the idea that God is always on the side of the poor and dispossessed, as should we be.
Spoken like a great Dominican non-Come on, Sister, Jesus didn't wait for government to cure the lepers.
He just did it himself.
So now watch this bullshit answer.
And I debated about how much of this to play and what not to.
So I'm going to play a lot more.
I'm going to play probably two minutes of this guy's response.
So here it is.
Sister, this may come as a surprise to you, but I completely agree with you.
Where we may disagree is on how to achieve that goal.
Yeah, like she, the goal of helping poor people, like her way to achieve that is to actually help poor people.
You give them assistance, you give them health care.
His idea in how to help people is you take stuff away from them.
That's Paul.
It's a little different tactic.
She wants to help them to give them a quality of life.
He wants to help them die off.
So you don't have to worry about giving them a quality of life.
So their goals are the same.
They want to help them.
They just want to do it differently.
He wants to help them die, and she wants to help them live.
Those would be two different things.
But overall, they agree.
He's right.
Overall, they're on the same page.
Different approaches.
Exercise prudential judgment in practicing our faith.
And for me, the preferential option for the poor, which is something that's a key tenet of Catholic faith, that means upper mobility.
That means economic growth.
That means equality of opportunity.
That to me means working with this guy over here at Gateway Tech to make sure that we can close the skills gap, to make sure that every person who wants...
What he's saying right now, this is all, this is nothing.
So this is the part I wanted to cut out because it's nothing.
These are just empty platitudes that mean absolutely nothing.
Career and job can get the benefits.
We actually just passed this bill in July.
Before that, we passed another skills bill.
That means to me, taking this 20th century poverty.
By the way, when a politician passes a job skills bill, what that means is I'm going to give a tax break to my buddies who give me campaign contributions.
I'm going to give them a tax break to train workers instead of making college affordable for people or letting people go to college for free.
I'm going to give money to corporations.
You train everybody.
You educate them.
And whenever a politician says what that means to me, it means they're about to make a side note that has nothing to do with anything.
Right.
Yes.
Yeah, when he goes, well, what that means to me.
What that means to me.
And you know what?
Ultimately, I'm thinking when I'm watching this, I'm like, Paul Ryan can say all these platitudes as much as he wants to say.
However, but at some point, aren't they worried that their constituency is just going to get so sick and die?
Who's going to vote for them?
No, they're not worried.
We're in the 32nd year of the war on poverty.
Trillions spent.
And guess what?
Our poverty rates are about the same as they were when we started this war on poverty 32 years ago.
So what Paul Ryan is saying, you know, all that money we spent on our poor people, giving them medicine and giving them food and housing?
They're still poor.
So we shouldn't have done that.
We shouldn't give people housing.
We shouldn't give them health care.
We shouldn't give them education.
And we shouldn't give them nutrition because we gave them assistance and they're not rich yet.
Look, we've been giving them assistance for the last, I don't know, four.
Look how much money we spent over the last four decades helping poor people.
And guess what?
They're still poor people.
That's what he's saying.
There's still poor people, you guys.
So because they're still poor people, we should stop taking care of poor people.
See, Paul Ryan says taking care of poor people doesn't work.
Why?
Because we've been spending money on poor people and they're still poor people.
Why doesn't this cure poverty?
Maybe it's because I support a system that will inevitably have poor people in it.
No, it's because we're trying to help people.
The status quo isn't working, sister.
So we have to do something that's even worse.
That's what he's saying.
That's what he's saying.
See, again, yeah, he's right.
We should have just not fed those people.
We shouldn't have given them housing.
We shouldn't have given them medicine.
We should do nothing for them because they're not going to get rich from it.
If you give a poor person health care, that doesn't make them rich.
So don't give it to them.
So he's saying spending money taking care of the poor is wasted if they don't become rich or if they don't get out of poverty.
You go to help a poor person, that's evil.
That's what he's saying.
And the nun looks very convinced by his answer.
Oh, yeah, you see the nun?
The nun sees right through his bullshit.
She sees right through it.
You know who doesn't?
Half the morons in that audience and Jake Tapper.
So the status quo isn't working, sister.
What I think we need to do is change our approach on fighting poverty instead of measuring success based on how much money we spend or how many programs we create or how...
You don't want to judge it on that.
Really?
That's what you want to judge it on.
We spent $2 trillion over the last 32 years taking care of poor people.
And to him, that is a failure.
The richest country the face of the earth has ever seen actually tried to take care of their poor people over the last 32 years.
And guess what?
That was a failure as far as Paul Ryan's concerned because all we did was take care of them.
You know what?
I want to say a quick side note.
Since Walter Becker from Steely Dan passed away recently, Don Fagan in his book says that whenever you hear a Republican talk about their ideas, it sounds like somebody describing a really boring dream.
This is a prime example of that.
What did you dream about last night?
I had this dream where I supported this policy that we could help hungry people by not feeding them.
It made no sense.
It was such a weird dream.
Let's listen to more.
People are on those programs, you know, measuring on inputs.
Let's measure success and poverty on outcomes.
Is it working?
Are people getting out of poverty?
And what I believe, when you look at it that way, I actually have a commission that Petty Murray and I set up that's underway right now.
Yeah, when you look at it that way, you'll never give another nickel to a poor person.
If you look at it that way, hey, I gave you money and I gave you medicine and I gave you shelter and you're still poor.
Shame on you.
It's not working.
What the heck?
This is literally his, this is, and of course, Jake Tapper doesn't break in and stop him at any point.
So you're saying the way to help poor people is to take stuff away from them, Paul?
We need to make sure that we bring people into the workforce.
The poverty, the poor are being marginalized and misaligned in many ways because a lot of the programs that we have, well-intended as they may be, are discouraging and disincentivizing work.
We were just no problem.
Yes, that's the problem.
We have poor people because we have welfare.
See, we didn't have any poor people.
There was no need.
We invented welfare, and then all of a sudden there's a bunch of poor people.
First of all, there isn't even welfare anymore.
The Clintons got rid of it.
What we have, we have food stamps.
They call it SNAP.
Oh, and we also have corporate welfare.
Oh, sure.
And they'll spend trillions on corporations.
It's just not at the disenfranchised.
And nor will the GOP or Democrats ever come up with a jobs program.
No, of course not.
So these people, these programs disincentivize work, yet you have no jobs program and there aren't any jobs for people.
Well, that's a complete lie anyway.
Right.
Most people on assistance are either actively looking for work or are working.
Like what he just said, that's just a straight-up lie.
Yes, that's just a straight-up lie.
It's true.
We were just talking about...
We were just talking about tax reform, and I was telling you about...
These successful small businesses in Wisconsin, they got a 44%, 44.6% tax rate.
That's not the highest tax rate payer.
I mean, Aaron Rodgers, who deserves every salary, is not the highest tax rate payer in this state.
You know who it is?
It's a single mom getting 24 grand in benefits with two kids who will lose 80 cents on the dollar if she goes and takes a job.
We have to fix that.
Yeah, and the way you fix that, Paul, is you make it not punitive for someone receiving assistance to go get a job.
Not take away their assistance.
Because if you take away their assistance, you're screwing her again.
Now you're putting another big tax on her.
So his big idea is these people would go work.
There's these great jobs just laying around for people.
That's why, but they won't take them because they're lazy.
That's why they're on.
So that's the same old BS.
That's that Ayn Rand theory of, you know, Adam Carolla's mom was depressed.
She had depression and she was a single mom.
And she had to go on assistance to help Adam Carolla, Mr. right-wing libertarian.
So what I'm saying is there's lots of people in desperate situations who temporarily need help.
We're the richest country in the world.
We spend the least redistributing our income.
We can handle it.
The problem with America isn't we're helping our poor too much.
The problem isn't in America isn't that we're investing too much in our workers and low-income people.
That's not the problem.
The problem is we're spending a trillion dollars on bombs every year, wasting it on nothing.
So this is all him doing mental gymnastics, trying to figure out how we can screw over the poor, put the economic burden on the working class, and give tax cuts to the richest people.
That's what this is.
This is evil.
This is, I'm going to use all my mental acuity, hide behind religion to do it, to screw over poor people.
That's what this is.
He's got more to say.
And that is why we have to fix it, not by just kicking people off callously, but by making sure that we can customize these benefits to help a person get from where she is to where she wants and needs to be.
That means we have these benefits phased out in a certain way that fits her needs.
What?
What?
We have these benefits phased out that fits her needs.
Whose needs are you talking about?
He's talking about a single mom.
You're going to take away her benefits.
That fits her needs.
This is your big plan.
Again, no jobs program.
He doesn't have a plan to fix the...
That's why they're on assistance, Paul.
People don't go on assistance because there's a bunch of jobs laying around that they don't want.
It sounded like he was saying customize kicking her off.
Yeah, he's going to customize kicking her off.
We're going to give her a 20-minute warning and let her know.
So when Jesus took the fish and loaves and made enough for everybody, he was disincentivizing work.
Yeah, he really is.
That's the story from the Bible that Paul gets.
Yeah, well, he made them stop eating at some point.
He's like, I'm sorry, this is.
Get your own bootstraps.
The model I'm talking about is one you're familiar with.
It's the Catholic Charities model.
Crystal Ray Parish, right four miles that way.
Crystal Ray Parish has Catholic charities that does a fantastic job in spite of government doing wraparound benefits for the poor to make sure that they get to where they are from where they are.
Okay, Catholic charities doesn't do the job they do in spite of government.
Catholic charities does the job they do because of government, because they get half their funding from the goddamn government, Paul, you fucking liar.
Catholic charities wouldn't be able to do what they do without the government.
And the lady who's a Dominican sister, who's the head of Catholic charities, said that what you're doing is evil, you fucking liar.
And Jake Tapper sits there, lets him say all this shit.
Jake Tapper has no facts.
He has no assistants.
He has no helpers.
He has no interns.
He has no producers.
Nobody can give him facts about any of this shit.
By the way, Paul Ryan's been saying this shit since 2012.
And that nun knows he's full of shit.
If only government would actually help do that as well, I think we could go a long ways in fighting the root cause of poverty.
Before they instituted Medicare, that's healthcare for senior citizens.
The poverty rate for senior citizens was 33%.
33% of all seniors lived in poverty.
So when you retired, you got poor because you got sick and you didn't have any money to pay your bills.
So they instituted Medicare.
Do you know that a decade after they instituted Medicaid, do you know what the poverty rate for senior citizens was?
It was 11%.
It went from 33% to 11% just by instituting Medicare.
And this guy is a fucking lying used car salesman who's demonizing the poor and doing mental gymnastics to hurt them even more while giving tax breaks to plutocrats and predatory capitalists.
That's who Paul Ryan is.
And guys like Jake Tapper, let him fucking do it on his show.
Because apparently Jake Tapper doesn't know anything about what I just told you.
He doesn't know that every Catholic organization has denounced this guy, including the Catholic Bishops, the Conference of Catholic Bishops.
So the article written in Think Progress says his response harkens back to an argument the House Speaker has made for years, namely that small government policy proposals, which often include slashing programs that aid lower-income Americans, will somehow help the poor.
The argument was a big part of his effort to pass a budget bill in 2012 when he claimed that small government approaches mirrored the Catholic concept of subsidiarity.
Yet Ryan's version of Catholic theology, which parallels a decades-long conservative effort to craft religious ideology that blasts the undeserving poor, was immediately met with resistance from, again, from the nuns.
Sister Simone Campbell and her lobbying group, Network, launched a cross-country campaign called Nuns on the Bus that spoke out against Ryan's budget, which she described as immoral.
His understanding of subsidiarity was also panned in Catholic publications.
Subsidiarity is a concept that all decisions should be made as close to the ground level as possible and only as high up the chain of command as necessary.
And the Catholics have showed that he's misrepresenting that idea to forward his bullshit Republican trickle-down economic agenda that hurts everyone except the wealthy.
Ryan's response is, oh, also awkward, his response to that nun, because for starters, Christo Ray, remember he said what they're doing, they're doing right here at the Christo Ray Parish.
Christo Ray Parish no longer exists.
It merged with another parish.
And Catholic Charities nuns said that what he's doing is bullshit.
And Catholic charities couldn't do what they do without the goddamn government in the first place.
When Ryan championed President Donald Trump's budget proposal, which slashed welfare programs earlier this year, an anti-hunger faith group released a study estimating that every religious congregation in America would need to raise $714,000 a year for 10 years to shoulder the burden of caring for the poor.
Every religious institution, every church, synagogue, mosque, would have to raise $714,000 a year for 10 years to pay for the money the government was slashing.
That ain't happening.
Oh, there's your good Paul Ryan's bullshit Christian commitment to the poor.
This is from the National Catholic Reporter.
It says, Speaker Paul Ryan's Catholic challenge.
More than 90 Catholic theologians and scholars at the Jesuit University argued Ryan was profoundly misreading church teaching and distorting Catholic social doctrine to fit his political agenda.
We would be remiss in our duty to you and to our students if we did not challenge your continuing misuse of Catholic teaching to defend a budget plan that decimates food programs for struggling families, radically weakens protections for the elderly and sick, and gives more tax breaks to the wealthiest few.
Subsidarity is not a free pass to dismantle government programs and abandon the poor to their own devices.
His Georgetown critics also called out Ryan's infatuation with the libertarian icon.
In short, your budget appears to reflect the values of your favorite philosopher Ayn Rand rather than the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Her call to selfishness and her antagonism toward religion are antithetical to the gospel values of compassion and love.
That's what the Catholics say about Paul Ryan.
You know what Jake Tapper says to Paul Ryan?
Not a fucking thing.
So I just want you to, every time you see Paul Ryan talk like that, and that's a used car salesman.
That is bullshit talking points put together in a corporate think tank to do mental gymnastics to defend giving tax breaks to the richest people in the world.
While half the country in the richest country in the world remains poor or low income and needing medical care.
That's what's who Paul Ryan is.
So every time you see that or you see Republicans or Democrats, you've heard Democrats say that bullshit too.
Equality of opportunity.
That's both parties talking right there.
Equality of opportunity.
That's the Democrats and the Republicans.
That's the corporate class.
That's who Paul Ryan represents.
That's who Chuck Schumer represents.
That's who Nancy Pelosi represents.
The corporate class.
The white-collared suburbanites.
That's who they represent.
Nobody is representing workers anymore.
Nobody's representing the people that none is talking about.
Nobody.
And nobody in the press is standing up for them either.
No one.
When's the last time you saw CNN or MSNBC do a special on income inequality?
What was the last time you saw MSNBC, CNN, New York Times, Washington Post have Paul Krugman come on to talk about how inequality was inevitably going to lead to fascism, which we have now with Trump?
No, they don't talk about that.
Was the failure of the Democratic Party and the elite to address problems in our economy that led to this?
No, no one will ever say that.
We still got another goddamn book from Hillary Clinton pointing her finger again at everybody else, Bernie Sanders.
Anybody trying to fix the problem, they'll wag their finger at.
You know, Jimmy, every time I see Paul Ryan, I just immediately go to when he was running for vice president with Mitt Romney, and he was doing one of those propaganda junkets where they would go to a soup kitchen and show them handing out food.
Except what Paul Ryan decided to do, that he would help wash dishes, except they were already cleaning up.
They were already cleaned.
Yeah.
And I think they should show that every single time so you know exactly who this asshole is.
That's true.
That's true.
That's who Paul Ryan is, that used car salesman piece of shit.
And don't ever forget it.
Well, according to this caller ID, it appears Bernie Sanders is on the line.
I wonder if he wants to talk about Hillary Clinton's new book.
Hello, Bernie.
Yes, what?
Hello?
I refuse to talk about that damn book.
There is no way on earth you can ever make me talk about that book.
Mom!
No way!
Forget it.
I will not do it.
Yeah, hey, we understand if you don't want to talk about the book, no problem.
Is she completely mental?
It's got more excuses than the Nixon memoirs.
So you're pretty upset about it?
No, here's what I'm saying, Jimmy.
I have no comment on her book at this time.
I prefer to concentrate on the important issues which face the bottom 99% of American wage owners.
So you have no reactions to her blaming you for her loss, blaming you for Donald Trump's victory.
Look, I refuse to get caught up in character judgments and so on and so forth.
I refuse to get involved in the endless and destructive name-calling like others have become so accustomed to.
What name-calling?
Well, for instance, the descriptive Monicazilla comes to mind.
I find that wholly inappropriate, and I refuse to sink to that level, even if it does fit, and it does.
But I have no comment.
You know, there's a lot more of that phone call.
How do you hear the whole thing?
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All right.
Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Ron Placone, Brian Granillo, Jim Earl, and Steph Zamorano.
All the voices performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
We'll see you September 18th and September 25th.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Door saying you be the best you can be.
I'll keep being me.
I'm not getting it.
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out.
Do not do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not in it.
Do not freak out.
don't bring up Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
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