All Episodes
Previous Next
July 29, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:18
20170729_0729_JDS_PODCAST
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Chuck Schumer.
Hello, Senator.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Jimmy Dore, you are a rascal, aren't you?
I see my reputation precedes me.
You could certainly say that.
You could certainly say that.
I know many of my colleagues who have spoken to you over the years, and suffice it to say, you are not to be trifled with, from what I understand.
Well, I just like having meaningful discussions with our lawmakers.
Well, look, I, for one, embrace any ally I can from the far-left progressive wing of the party.
No, I'm not a Democrat.
Nobody's perfect.
But we all need to caucus together if we are going to defeat this heinous, and like I've said before, rotten to the core bill that the Republicans are trying to shove down our throats.
I'm assuming you're calling to talk about health care.
Let me give you my thoughts.
If we are to have any hope of salvaging any part of Obamacare, we need...
Oh.
Well, then, what are you calling about?
I'm calling about this bill you are co-sponsoring that would make it a felony for a company or an individual to boycott Israel for any reason.
Oh, I see.
You, you, you.
You threw me for a loop there, Jimmy.
I didn't see that one coming.
Well, I'll tell you what I can do.
How about I transfer you over to one of my aides, and she can tell you everything you want to know about this bill.
Actually, I'd like to talk about it with you.
If it's all the same to you, Senator.
Okay.
It's true what they say.
You drive a hard bargain, Jimmy.
Go ahead, ask whatever question you'd like.
The ACLU has come out and said that this bill is an egregious assault on First Amendment liberties.
What do you have to say to that?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, it's not.
Nor would I support a bill that did that.
The purpose of this bill is to bring our domestic policy with regards to Israel in line with our foreign policy with regards to Israel.
Who is our greatest ally in the Middle East region, if not the entire world?
We are targeting the so-called boycott, divest, and sanction or BDS movement.
It is not, I repeat, not an infringement upon free speech.
All right, so let's break this down a bit, shall we?
Sure.
This bill makes it a felony to boycott Israel or Israel businesses, correct?
Correct.
Are there any similar statutes protecting other countries from a boycott?
Not that I know of.
Violators of this law, including individual citizens, would be subject to a minimum $250,000 fine and a maximum $1 million fine plus 20 years in prison.
You better believe it.
For boycotting Israel, meaning not purchasing goods made in Israel or refusing to perform in Israel if you are an artist.
Yes.
Am I missing anything here?
I don't think so.
Do you perhaps see anything wrong with this law at all?
No.
This is clearly a violation of the First Amendment.
What?
Get out of here.
So if I went shopping for sandals and I chose Birkenstocks over Tivas because Tivas are made in Israel and I posted that on social media as the reason, I could go to jail for 20 years.
Well, technically, yes, but that wouldn't happen, Jimmy, because you're not an anti-Semite.
See?
You have nothing to worry about.
Sorry, Senator.
I don't judge potential laws based on if I personally have anything to worry about.
This is one of the most unconstitutional things I've ever seen or heard of.
Unconstitutional.
I'll tell you what's unconstitutional, criticizing Israel.
No, it isn't.
Well, maybe not literally, but it needs to be stopped.
Any criticism of Israel is nothing but thinly veiled anti-Semitism.
We have said this over and over again, hoping for it to be somehow true.
Hate speech is not free speech.
Actually, yes, it is.
As atrocious as anti-Semitism is, it's not illegal to express anti-Semitic views.
And furthermore, criticizing Israel or U.S. foreign policy regarding Israel and Palestine is not necessarily anti-Semitic.
And an economic boycott is a legitimate expression of free speech.
The courts have validated this, Chuck.
Well, listen to you.
You surprise me with these anti-Semitisms, Jimmy.
I was not expecting this.
I thought you were an ally, but I suppose you're just another far-lefty with a seething hatred of Israel and probably Jews in general.
What a shame.
I am absolutely not an anti-Semite, and I am offended by the accusation.
I think the Nazi doth protest too much.
Careful, Jimmy.
I don't think they let you wear your hateful Birkenstocks in federal prison.
What?
Just saying your rhetoric sounds a little boycotty, if you know what I mean.
Better be careful what you say, Jimmy, especially once we get this bill passed in the law.
Yeah, you know, I'll take my chances.
Fair enough, Jimmy.
I have to leave you now.
I have to get back to my duties at the Senate, where the Democrats are guarding tooth and fang, the freedoms of the American people.
Ta-ta.
Ta-ta.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for up-minded, low-in-law lefties.
The kind of people that are combined maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you guys.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
It's a great one.
I hope you enjoyed the opening phone call.
The brand new Chucky Schuber.
Listen, I've just got back from Comic-Con.
I had to stab someone to cut line at the little lotta booth.
I don't even know what Little Lada is.
Hey, look, I'm all for Tras Jed their band of the military.
I don't know, does that shock anybody?
I'm all for it.
Why should they have to risk their lives fighting six immoral wars around the world?
Hey, while you're at it, extend it to the rest of the population, except rich people.
They should be on the front line.
Hey, did you hear Sean Spicer resign?
He says he wants to spend more time hiding in the bushes with his family.
That's right.
Funny, fun, funny.
Hey, did you hear HBO caught a lot of backlash?
They got a new series called Confederate.
They took a lot of heat, a lot of backlash, but they released a statement that calmed everybody down.
It says, don't worry, there's going to be lots of tits and swords.
Can I just remind everybody that the Intel community isn't actually a community any more than the NRA is a civic organization?
It's a military police state and a tool of corporate America.
Just a reminder: hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Johnny McCain.
Johnny McCain, what a courageous son of a gun John McCain is.
He actually acted like a human being for about three seconds.
Everybody's making a big deal out of it.
We're going to talk about that.
Also, hey, what do the media think is important to talk about in the news?
And what do people really care about?
Hey, those are two totally different things, it turns out.
We're going to talk about that.
Also, the Republican Party turns on itself, just as predicted by a certain Jagoff nightclub comedian.
Anyway, that's coming up.
Plus, we got phone calls today.
Lots of phone calls.
Sean Spicer, Barack Obama.
We got Jod Bader calls it.
That's coming up.
Plus, a lot, lot more.
Hey, what I'll let you know, our next live Jimmy Door show, which everyone loves, August 16th.
That's a 5 p.m. show.
It's in Burbank, California.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for more info and tickets on that.
That's August 16th.
It's part of the Burbank Comedy Festival, August 16th.
That's at 5 o'clock in the afternoon.
What day is that?
Is that a Wednesday?
Okay.
So we'll see you there.
That's our only live show happening in August.
So that's coming up plus a lot more.
us today on the jibby door show Hi, everybody.
I'm here with Rob Lacode and the miserable liberal Steph Semarado.
Howdy, howdy.
The Republicans failed to repeal the Obamacare.
What do you think about that?
I think it's fantastic.
The Republicans are in such disarray.
Their new slogan is: we're tired of running shit.
That's their new slogan.
Yeah.
The Republicans are in such bad shape.
Did you know this?
Donald Trump starts all his speeches to Republicans by, hey, haters and losers.
That's how he starts off his speeches.
They really, the Republicans are in such bad shape.
They're starting to get policy ideas from Game of Thrones.
That's so bad.
Here is John McCain.
Here's the moment it happened.
So John McCain's going to vote down.
Watch how it happens.
It's fantastic.
He's so dramatic.
He's so dramatic.
Watch how it happens.
You can hear an audible gasp.
Did you hear that?
There was a woman who went, I swear to God, you could hear it.
watch.
We'll do it again.
And then the Democrats started to applaud, and Chuck Schumer turned around and stop it.
He told them to stop applauding.
Remember that?
I don't have that video, but he did that.
Wonder why he did that.
Wait, it was okay to applaud when he went and screwed over everybody.
So it was okay to applaud when he screwed everybody over.
Yes.
He still has brain cancer.
That was why they did it the first time.
You can still applaud, like, whatever.
I'm gonna get it.
Yeah, how about a little, he's got brain cancer and he's voting.
Yeah, like.
So that was him doing that.
That was the big moment.
That was his big moment.
Courage.
Oh, the courage it took not to take health care away from people.
It's like he thought he was in the movie Gladiator.
He caught Juan Keen Phoenix.
He's like, any tips?
This is going to be my moment.
And everyone, of course, is making John McCain out to be a hero because he did something decent once.
He's a hero.
What'd you do?
Nobody, I don't get a medal.
I don't come home and I don't get a medal for not cheating on my wife.
I don't get a medal for not kicking a dog.
Hey, what'd you do?
Not kill someone?
Here's a medal.
That's what they're doing for John McCain.
They're getting a medal for not killing people.
What the F, right?
Isn't that what it seems like?
Yeah, he's such a good guy that he didn't take health care away from us.
What a guy.
Oh, is it what courage?
Man.
He's such a maverick.
Here's what Bach says about it.
I like what they said.
They go, so when John McCain cast a performative last-minute vote against skinny repeal, it immediately overshadowed the two women Republican senators who did far more to halt Republicans' reckless efforts to repeal Obamacare.
Of course.
Collins and Murkowski.
Collins and Murkowski.
Of course.
They actually, they voted against it.
So John McCain, his initial vote was to open debate on taking people's health care away.
He thought, hey, I think we should talk about screwing people over.
I think we should talk about it.
Murkowski and Collins, no, let's not talk about it.
That's the courage.
There's where your courage is.
Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins repeatedly stood their ground against the three health bills their colleagues tried to ram through the Senate.
And Donny Tanahans says three Republicans and 48 Democrats let the American people down.
As I said from the beginning, let Obamacare implode, then deal.
Watch.
Spoken like a true leader.
What a leader.
Hey, let's let everything go to shit in our country.
I'm not going to try and fix it.
Well, yeah, you know, and now right now, I keep hearing the Republicans saying that, okay, Democrats, now it's your turn.
What?
Aren't they supposed to legislate collectively?
How is it that they're not able after eight years of saying this is an awful deal?
They had nothing to fall back on.
And now they want the Democrats to do more.
I just say single payer.
Single payer.
Single payer.
I'm with you.
Here's Mitch McConnell after he lost.
Oh, boy, I love this part.
I and many of my colleagues did as we promised.
And we lied to the American people about what we were actually going to do.
We said it was going to help them and make policies cheaper.
We were going to actually screw them and make their life miserable.
So that's what we promised.
Here it is.
I and many of my colleagues did as we promised and voted to repeal this failed law.
We told our constituents we would vote that way.
And when the moment came, when the moment came, most of us did.
So there you go.
Most of us did.
Most of us did.
That's a loser.
That's a guy who just lost.
Mark Kerrington vote.
Most of us did.
But we lost.
What does that even mean when he some of us made a political decision?
Some would say that's what we're elected to do.
Isn't that funny?
I thought that was funny.
Mitch McConnell, boy.
And he's to shape up or get more training from Master Splinter.
You know what I'm saying?
So there's a big moment.
John McCain's getting all the, he's so courageous.
I don't think it takes much courage to not screw over people in public.
And the way he, you know, again, you want to have, I'm just so sick of the way the media reports that stuff.
What do you guys think?
Well, you know what?
I don't think I was a big fan of Lisa Murkowski's before.
And I've seen Susan Collins.
I'm like, way to go, ladies, way to go to represent your constituency.
John McCain, I just, I think we've talked about this, that I think he felt the pressure.
And I think maybe he got a lot of shame on you phone calls and shame on you emails for him to take the stand.
But those two women, they're the real Mavericks.
Yeah, I'm with you.
I mean, you know, like, maybe John McCain had some moral moment.
Maybe, you know, I tweeted the joke like his heart grew three sizes that night or something.
But, you know, in reality, he's been behind repeal for so long that, yeah, chances are he hasn't had some 180.
He's still for it, or he wouldn't have voted to discuss it in the first place.
He's just not behind everything right now.
And, you know, he's not.
I mean, people are giving him credit, like, oh, this was his plan all along.
And I don't think so.
I do think public outcry had something to do with it, too, I think, because he likes the spotlight.
And I think that public outcry kind of pushed him that way.
Well, here comes former Trump campaign spokesman, and he was on the transition team also.
Listen to what he says about the healthcare thing not being repealed.
Need to get on the same page here because especially after these Republican turncoats shot down Obama.
Republican turncoats.
Turncoats.
Oh.
Republican turncoats.
That's who they are, Steph.
The Republican turncoats.
These people know that we're here to screw over people, especially sick and poor people.
And then you go and you don't do that.
Such a turncoat.
Such a turncoat.
Yeah, I love how Democratic they make this all sound.
Even just like the skinny repeal.
They're just like, look, we need to screw you over a little bit.
We know only 12% of you like this shit.
So how about only 16 million people lose coverage now?
Premium's only 20%.
Come on.
Like next, they're going to have like the repeal is going to go on a diet.
It's going to come back.
All right.
So only five of you lose insurance, but your insurance lobbyist gets to kick you in the nuts once a year.
Can you take that?
Come on.
So people keep forgetting the reason why it's so hard for the Republicans to repeal Obamacare and replace it with something, it's because Obamacare is their goddamn plan in the first place.
Barack Obama won't tell you that, but it's obvious to anybody who knows anything, that plan was cooked up at the Heritage Foundation as a response to Hillary Care, and then Mitt Romney implemented it in Massachusetts.
It was called Romney Care.
And then Barack Obama was like, well, I could do the lefty thing and do single payer Medicare for all, which as everyone knows is the way we should go.
Or, wait a minute, I won't be allowed to be president if I'm for that.
So I will go along with the corporatist Romney care, which is exactly what they did.
And we didn't get a public option either.
So that's the reason why it's so difficult for the Republicans to repeal and replace, because that's their whole ideology.
That's how bad the Democrats have gotten.
When they control every branch of government, we get a right-wing corporatist giveaway health care plan with no cost controls anyway.
The Democrats controlled every branch of government.
And what did they give us?
They gave us what these guys wanted to give us in the first place.
That's what we got by voting Democrat and having Democrats own the Congress and own the Senate and the House and the White House.
With the most eloquent speaker, the most stirring speech giver in my lifetime who could have pushed for anything and the people were ready for a revolution, we voted for change in 2008.
We didn't get it.
That's why you got Trump, you knuckleheads, because we voted for change and we still want change.
Anyway, that's what happens when you vote Democrat and they take over the government.
We get right-wing bullshit healthcare plans anyway.
Let's listen to what he has to say.
Need to get on the same page here because especially after these Republican turncoats shot down Obamacare last night, we got to get going on tax reform and we can't dork around any longer.
We can't dork around.
Oh, we can't dork.
We've been dorking around for six months, the whole half a year that Trump's been president.
We've been dorking around.
And now we can't do it.
No, sure, we can dork around on healthcare and repeal that whole thing we've been saying for eight years at the top of our lungs.
We dorked around on that, but we can't dork around anymore.
What?
There are people going to the doctor and affording it.
Stop dorking around.
Don't dork around.
So the thing happened.
They didn't pass the health care.
But who's responsible?
Well, Trumpy, he tweeted this out.
He says, three Republicans and 48 Democrats let the American people down.
As I said from the beginning, let Obamacare implode, then deal.
Watch.
That's really what a leader does.
You're doomed.
Like I said before, let's let the car crash.
Who cares?
I'm just a driving instructor.
Let it crash.
Teach people a lesson.
Yeah.
I say let everything go to shit in the country.
Teach them a lesson.
You don't want my shitty, not thought-out plan that screws over most of you?
Well, fuck you then.
Watch it implode.
So Trump so doesn't even understand what's going on that he doesn't even understand that.
Well, here's what he's saying now.
He says if Republicans are going to pass great future legislation in the Senate, they must immediately go to a 51-vote majority, not senseless 60.
I don't know how to break it to you, Trump.
But that vote last night was a majority vote.
They tried to get a simple 51.
Guess what?
The 51 was against your legislation.
Yeah, 5149.
So too bad for you guys.
Too bad for you.
Yet, doesn't even understand that they're not trying to get a 60 vote.
They're not trying to do that.
Jimmy isn't.
And they left a tweet up.
Isn't it just because Donald Trump isn't a math scientist?
He's probably not a math scientist like myself.
I used to be a math surgeon.
A little different.
So Trump is blaming the three Democrats and the 48 Republicans.
It's always everybody else's fault.
But if you report.
48 Democrats or Republicans.
What did I say?
You said I meant it the other way.
We know.
I'm sorry.
I'm not a math surgeon.
So listen to what he has to say, because of course Trump is going to blame everybody but himself, but who's he really, who's really the fault?
It's really Trump's.
He didn't do anything.
Well, here, he'll tell you.
And reversing Obamacare, he would say, well, he's trying.
He couldn't be trying any harder.
It's his fellow Republicans who are letting him down.
That is an extremely, I think, disingenuous argument.
Because what Trump was doing this week, this is the final push for his one signature agenda item so far that's come to a vote.
Yesterday, he was tweeting about TV shows.
He was attacking his attorney general.
Two days ago, three days ago, he was telling Boy Scouts about a hot cocktail party in New York.
I mean.
Come on, what's wrong with that?
That doesn't help get healthcare passed.
The Boy Scouts, he's trying to get them on his side.
So they go home and then they tell their parents, but I must say, like Trump, because of that cocktail party story.
I got to go speak to the Boy Scouts.
They need to sway some swing voters.
Give me a couple of stories from that party in the Hamptons.
I got to keep it, PG.
He's got more to say.
You know, when we had Obamacare, there was 10 months of a legislative push backed by the president barnstorming the country and explaining to the American people why they should want this bill.
Trump didn't do any of that.
He just tried to bully people on Twitter and then got distracted by attacking members of his own administration, including his acting FBI director and his attorney general.
So the fact that that didn't push this agenda over the line shouldn't come to any surprise as any surprise to anyone who understands how Washington functions.
Yeah, when you think about it, I didn't think about it until I saw that guy say that or heard him say that.
I do remember Barack Obama barnstorming the country to selling his Obamacare to people.
And remember, that's when he had to tell them, if you like your plan, you can keep it.
Boy, did they stick that in his ass, right?
Remember that?
They would never let him.
I can't keep my shitty plan, right?
That's what, that's what, so yeah, you could keep, yeah, you can't, you can't keep plans that are so shitty, they're now illegal.
That's, that's what, boy, did they, so remember, that's when he said that, when he was going around trying to drum up.
So that's what you do as a president, especially if you're popular.
You go around, you try to get, you try to gin up support for it.
Well, this bill, this Trump healthcare bill was like, what, 12, 13% approval?
One of the most unpopular bills ever.
Could have used a little bump.
Could have used a little help.
Yeah.
Maybe you go out, you help, you stump for it.
No, he didn't do anything.
He didn't do anything.
He did tweet about Jeff Sessions.
He did attack his own attorney general.
Isn't that awesome?
It's like he has this.
I know he has a personality defect.
Like, we can all agree on that, right?
But he has ADD at the nth degree.
You know, he can't focus on anything.
The most important legislation that he could focus on this week, he's incapable.
He's hanging out with Boy Scouts.
And he doesn't know how to conduct himself while giving a speech to them.
This is the leader of the free world.
The Boy Scouts had to apologize for him.
The Boy Scouts literally apologized to anybody who was offended at the president's speech at the Boy Scouts.
And you know what?
The Democrats lost to him.
Oh!
Keep that in mind.
I always think of that Dylan Radigan quote about just think about how repulsive the Democrats had to be for people to even entertain the idea to vote for Trump.
That's what Darlene Radigan says.
Or I'm paraphrasing, but he's very close to what he said.
So who's really to blame?
Of course, it's Trump.
Trump didn't do a goddamn thing for this.
He doesn't even know what's in it.
He doesn't even know you'd only, you only need a majority to pass it.
He didn't even know that.
He didn't even know he lost.
Why or how, what the numbers were.
He doesn't have any idea.
So think about that.
Think about that.
And if you're a Trump voter, and I know there's some Trump voters who watch the show because they appreciate my integrity and my honesty in taking shots at the left, well, this is a, you know, the Trump, first of all, this is horrible for you.
This wasn't good for anybody.
So that's why it has such a low approval.
Everybody knew this was a bill that was screwing them over.
So you voted for Trump.
He didn't drain the swamp.
He did drain it and he filled it back up with more Goldman Sachs people than before.
He's not the guy we wanted him to be, right?
You wanted him to be this great deal maker.
He's going to really stick to the Chinese and he's going to have better trade for us and we're going to get on our feet again.
He's going to save good jobs.
And he's not doing any of that.
He's not doing any of that.
In fact, even on what was it, was it American Heroes?
What was it that he hired a bunch of foreign workers at his hotel just recently during American Worker Week or something?
Anyway, I had to accept that I was a Chump for voting for Barack Obama.
Maybe it's a little early for you to accept that you were a Trump for voting for Trump.
But if you voted for Hillary, you're definitely a Chump because what did it get you?
You got Trump anyway.
And you didn't even get to vote your conscience.
Ah, right?
I voted my conscience.
Steph, you vote your conscience.
I voted my conscience.
And I have to tell you, I regret that I voted ever for Clinton.
Horrible.
Me too.
I want to blame it on youth.
I know.
You know what?
Yeah.
I never vote.
I mean, I wasn't old enough to vote for Bill.
Oh, you're lucky because you would have.
I voted for Clinton.
Yeah, I know I would have.
I voted for Clinton.
I wasn't smart enough.
I was starting to sniff him out back in the 90s.
When Al Gore ran is when I would realize, oh, these guys are horrible.
So anyway, there you go.
That's who's to blame.
Trump.
Trump didn't go out and try to get this passed.
Why?
Because it's super unpopular.
B doesn't give a shit.
He doesn't care.
He's still president.
He celebrated losing by firing Reince Priebus.
LAUGHTER MUSIC "Denis" by Ben Thede.
Hey, everybody.
I'm here to let you know about how I shave.
Are you interested?
I use the Dollar Shave Club shaver, and it is fantastic.
I want to tell you the thing I like about it the most.
This is, I've actually caught myself telling other people this in regular conversation, is that they have such a nice handle.
It is, of all the razors I've ever used, the Dollar Shave Club handle.
It's got that heavy, solid feel, like it's made of a real, it's not plastic, and it's, it feels like a substantial razor.
It's got heft.
I know this, I don't, if you shave, I think you'll know why this is important.
And it just, it feels like you're using a real, it is, you are using a real thing.
It's, it's, I can't, it's hard to explain, but you'll, if you get the Dollar Shave Club razor, you'll know exactly what I mean.
And it is the smarter choice.
Do you want to go stand in a some kind of drugstore in front of a locked case, you got to call the guy.
That's why I started going through Dollar Shave Club because it comes right in the mail and it's just a couple of bucks a month and they send you the blades.
By the way, here's a deal.
So if you want to get your razor blades, your razors and blades through the mail for a limited time, new members for the Dollar Shave Club, you can get your first month of the executive razor with a tube of Dr. Carver's Shave Butter.
Have you had that?
For only $5, and that comes with free shipping.
After that, raise just a few bucks a month.
It's really quite a deal.
I love the Dollar Shave Club.
And it's just every month, there's your razors.
There's the great handle.
And by the way, that's a $15 value and you get it for five bucks.
You get the executive razor with a tube of Dr. Carver Shea Butter.
And guess what?
In your first month's box, you're going to get an awesome weighty handle, a full cassette of four cartridges, and a tube of their sheave butter.
That's what I mean.
This weighty handle.
You'll know what I mean once you pick it up.
You're like, oh, that's a nice handle.
After your first month, replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price, and there's no hidden fees, no commitments.
You can cancel anytime.
Isn't that great?
So you can only get this offer, though, if you go to dollarshaveclub.com/slash Jimmy.
That's really, go to dollarshaveclub.com/slash jimmy.
That's dollarshaveclub.com slash Jimmy.
And that's how you get this great deal.
So you get a $15 deal, and it's for five bucks, and it's free shipping, and it's a great way to help support the show.
And it's a great shaver.
It's the one I actually use.
Dollar Shave Club.
Go to dollarshaveclub.com/slash Jimmy.
You got to do the slash Jimmy.
Okay, thanks for supporting the show.
Hey, everybody, this is the part of the show where I usually tell you to go to our Amazon.com link.
You know, we don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon.
But if you do, we say have some of that money go to a progressive show like the Jimmy Dore show.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, doesn't cost you anything, but it's a big help to the show.
So the next time you want to buy something from Amazon, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Our Amazon box is right on the front page.
Click it.
It takes you to Amazon.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
But we have a new thing, a new way for you to help support us.
Well, you can become a premium member.
You already know about that.
And I'll tell you about it at the end of the show.
But we started a Patreon, right?
So because a lot of people feel more comfortable using Patreon than using PayPal or Amazon.
So that's another way you can help support the show.
We have a Patreon link.
Just go to patreon.com/slash jimmydore, patreon.com/slash jimmy door.
Go there.
You can become a patron of the Jimmy Door show.
And you know what matters more now than ever because our show has really blown up and gotten way more popular since we've been going on YouTube.
But we've gotten over a quarter million subscribers.
And so things are really happening.
And except YouTube pulled our funding out from underneath us, right?
So they don't want independent news anymore.
And YouTube's offering establishment news.
They're actually offering for a fee.
So they're funding independent news people like us.
So that's why we're offering Patreon.
That's why we're offering a premium.
That's why we offer the Amazon all these different ways.
And plus, we have the t-shirts.
We have all these different ways where you can help support the Jimmy Dore show.
So thanks for doing that.
And if you're more comfortable with Patreon, use our Patreon link.
If you're more comfortable using our PayPal, become a premium member.
So there's lots of different ways to support the show.
Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
Hey, welcome back to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
Let's get back to the studio right now.
Sean Spicer's on the horn.
I wonder if he's upset about something.
Mellow.
Yeah, you can take this job and shove it, bloated freak.
I'm done with you and your circus sideshow with a family, and I'm going to live the life I've always wanted as a professional dancer.
Yeah.
Sean?
I'm now your puppet, you pumpkin-headed slug.
I'm a man with body issues, and there's no need to go into that right now.
The point is, I'm trying to make is that I flew too close to the sun.
But like Icarus, I will rise again and be victorious.
I thought Icarus fell into the ocean and drowned.
Yeah, he ignored the advice of his father, and his wings melted, and he died.
No, no, Jimmy.
He each one who turned into a swan and raped a bovine of some sort, and then Achilles exploded from the head of Apollo.
And then Apollo got lost in the middle of a gigantic corn mason island and froze the chest to death.
I think you're wrong about that, Sean.
No, you're wrong.
It's what I call alternative nyth.
But why'd you call me a circus freak?
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
I'm just hinting it's hard losing a job you never wanted to begin with.
Now I know how most Americans feel.
Well, that's too bad.
I know.
And speaking of venting, now might be a good time to make sure all the air vents in your home bomb shelter are up to snuff.
Why is that, Sean?
No reason.
Oh, and stock up on water and canned goods.
But I don't have a bomb shelter, Sean, and neither do most Americans.
Oh, well, that kind of sucks, right?
Hey, you're not recording this on live audio or video right now, are you?
Of course I am.
Aren't there more important stories to focus on besides a simple shake-up in the White House Communications Department?
Oh, you mean like climate change and police shootings?
Close, but I'm talking about how Steve Annan has a tiny penis.
There's a lot of stuff to drill down on that story.
What does that mean?
I'm trying to unpack the story so you can understand it.
Unpack what?
All the dots.
I'm going to connect to you, morons.
Don't you get it?
All the dots?
Yeah, you can't unpack a story until you drill down on it, right?
And then after you unpack it, you have to unwrap things.
Then there are all those dots you got to connect.
And then you whiteboard those dots.
Does that clear things up for you?
Not really.
You really haven't said a goddamn thing.
Really?
Say hello to NMS NBC's new senior political correspondent.
You're telling me you might be a consultant on MSNBC?
Why not?
Have you seen who they're hiring lately?
A guy who smuggles snakes and potato chip cans just replaced Chris Hayes.
I'm going to make a buttload of money, baby.
Fun times at the Jimmy Door show.
Fun times.
So Donna Tonahan's had a political defeat.
His thing, we're going to repeal Obamacare and it'll be easy.
It'll be simple.
Remember, he said that'll be going to happen right away.
Here we are at the end of July.
I can't do it.
It ain't going to get done.
Ain't going to get done.
That's awesome.
Which is kind of like, I don't know.
I remember some YouTube show that kept saying that.
They kept saying that they won't be able to get anything if you're afraid of Trump.
So this is the, remember when people saying you got to vote for Hillary because of Trump?
And I was like, I'm not that afraid of Trump as you guys are because voting for Hillary would make things worse, worse.
At some point, we have to stop and send a message.
And we did.
And Democrats still haven't gotten it.
But I said the people who are, what about Trump?
This is exactly it.
So now you got all the Democrats banding together and Purple State Republicans and Independents all together.
They defeated it.
They defeated it.
It happened.
That's exactly what we said would happen.
That's what's happening.
Right?
What is that other major piece of legislative success that Trump has?
Nothing.
So he's had a lot of turnover.
Yeah.
So, I mean, HR's been busy.
So that's been that.
He's been hiring and firing a lot of people inside of his own administration.
Yeah.
So here's Mo Brooks.
He's a, I think he's a registered maniac.
I'm not sure.
But here's a guy who really wanted to screw over people with health care, really wanted to, and he's super upset at Mitch McConnell about it.
And listen to what he has to say.
Well, let's be clear about what's happened over the last 24 hours in the United States Senate.
It was an abject failure of the United States Senate to do what America needs to do it.
It was a failure from the newest member, Luther Strange, at the bottom to the very top with Mitch McConnell as majority leader.
And I hope that the Senate.
So guess what?
The Republicans self-described failures.
They got, I said this.
They got to govern, baby.
It's the worst thing in the world.
They're the dog that caught the car.
The Republicans are the dog that caught the car.
Now they got to govern.
I said all this stuff.
They're going to have to govern.
They're going to have to make people's lives better.
And if they implement policies that make people lives worse, then you crush them at the ballot box.
You know why Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton lost?
Because, and you know why the Democrats are wiped out?
Because they don't have policies to make people's lives better.
They have policies to make rich neoliberals even richer.
That's their policies.
So here they are.
They have to govern.
They're in disarray.
Would you call this disarray?
I think they've dorked out, if I could use a term.
I think they've dorked out.
Really?
I think they've dorked out.
So let's listen to what Mo.
So here's Mo Brooks saying that their whole party is a failure.
It will not quit.
I hope, and it urge the Senate to stay in Washington, D.C. until the job gets done.
You know, there's an old saying that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Now is not the time to leave the American people in a lurch.
Now is not the time to leave American health care at risk.
Now is not the time to continue to stress even worse the family budgets as parents are trying to take care of their kids.
So I hope they.
So again, it's just this, they get to do that, which is weird.
Like he goes, yeah, like he's trying to help save people money.
You're trying to screw them over.
There's no cost controls in your stupid bill, and everyone knows that.
Like they just get to come on TV and just lie like that.
That always blows me away.
Yeah, now is not the time to put people's health care at risk.
So we need to put this bill through that'll take it away from 33 million of them.
We need to do this.
Now's not the time.
Yes, people are hurting.
It's time to make sure they don't have access to health care, too.
So here goes on.
People quit.
And if they're going to quit, well, then by golly, maybe they ought to start at the top with Rich McConnell leaving his position and letting somebody new, somebody bold, somebody conservative take the reins so that they can come up with a plan that can get through the United States Senate and serve the needs of the American people.
The Republican Party is fracturing.
I forget who said that that would happen, but it's happening.
Now they're calling, they have complete control of government and they want to get rid of their leaders.
Oh, we got to get rid of Mitch McConnell.
That's Mo Brooks.
Got to get rid of him.
Where are you going to find somebody more conservative than Mitch McConnell?
Like, he's probably on a plane to Iran right now or something looking for somebody.
But what he's saying is that, well, if you're such, it doesn't matter if you're a conservative.
He's saying you got to be able to pass the draconian legislation that conservatives like.
Well, he said someone conservative.
He's like, maybe it's time for someone new, someone conservative.
It's like, are you saying like, oh, maybe that wasn't his implication?
Okay.
I heard that and I was like, are you playing Mitch McConnell's not conservative enough for you?
I think Mo Brooks wants to out-conservative him.
He's certainly outriting him.
Think that the problem is leadership?
You think it's time for a change for the Republicans in the Senate?
Well, unquestionably, the leadership at the top is responsible.
The buck stops there.
That's why you take on that kind of responsibility.
And if Mitch McConnell cannot get the job done on this, how is he going to get the job done on the rest of President Trump's agenda over the next three and a half years?
He's not.
I look around at the Republican Party and I think we could somehow be older and whiter.
Those look like the guys when you watch the LBJ movie.
Those look like the guys LBJ had to, he looks like the guys that LBJ had to appease to get civil rights passed.
Uncle Dick, remember?
Wasn't that his name?
So I think that's big news that six months in, not one piece of major legislation has passed of Trump's agenda.
Can you think of something that they've passed?
He's pretty much done nothing.
Right.
Okay, so they can't, this is the one thing he said he would do for sure and they would do it right away.
And they've been running on this for freaking seven, eight years and they can't do it.
And now they're calling for Mitch McConnell to step down.
And I'm about, hey, can't get it done.
Why can't you get it done?
You guys are, ah.
Well, because all the Democrats, Independents, and Purple State Republicans stopped him.
Isn't that something?
God, where did I hear that before?
Where did I hear that?
Was it some dude rambling into a webcam?
Yeah, it was probably some has-been YouTuber rambling into a webcam somewhere.
So there you go.
That's what's happening.
Now the Republicans should Watch the Republicans melt down trying to pass legislation.
And if they pass legislation, by the way, they're lucky it didn't pass.
They're lucky.
Because if they would have done that, they would have been super screwedie-boyed.
Are you kidding me?
So they had 48 Republicans vote for it.
I'm going to guess 46 of them are super happy it didn't pass.
Super happy it didn't pass.
Because this is not good politics.
It's not good policy.
It's not good politics.
This was the least popular bill I think that's ever been introduced.
The 13% approval or something like that, right?
12, yeah.
Like 12% at this point, yeah.
The least popular bill.
This is the shit they're trying to pass.
You try to fucking run on a bill with 12% approval in 2018.
Go ahead.
Try.
I've heard people say Mitch McConnell didn't really want it to pass for this reason and didn't push hard enough.
So here they are.
The Republicans are the dog that caught the car.
And now they're what they're doing.
What do they call it?
Circular firing squad.
Now they want to kill each other.
I love it.
I love it too.
This is fantastic.
Now they're talking about we got to get together with the Democrats.
Democrats, what are your ideas on how to fix Obamacare?
I am going to learn how to start a campfire and play the violin.
I mean, it is beautiful.
It is.
It is beautiful.
So it's happening.
It only took six months.
So now they want to get rid of Mitch McConnell.
Trump just fired Priebus.
He fired Priebus.
Fired Spicer.
Or Spicer left.
And we got Scaramucci now.
And that guy's...
High head.
He's a good dude.
He's fantastic.
And he's going to fire Mueller.
Fired Comey.
Mueller.
Jeff Sessions.
Wouldn't it be great if he fired Sessions and...
mueller it'd be fantastic this is this is you know for sure i don't think he'll do that it would i don't think it would iron too much suspicion that he does not yeah he won't do that but i wouldn't put anything past him that's true i wouldn't put anything past him after he fired comey i was like this guy let's oh get a bucket of popcorn let's get ready he doesn't care i mean that is not he does not care.
He does not care.
Okay, so there's Mo Brooks screaming about Mitch McConnell's got to step down now.
Oh, the Republicans.
Tough governing.
Hello.
You have a collective call from former leader of the free world, Barack Obama.
To accept charges, please say yes or say no.
I guess so.
Hey, Jimbo.
How's it hanging, you YouTube slayer?
You bring the passion out of me, bro.
I hate what you do, but I can't stop watching.
Is that natural?
Sure, why not?
Hey, while I'm on the line with you, I really like what you did to your new website, Jimmy.
What HTML are you using anyway?
I don't really know.
I paid a kid a case of Mickelobe to do it.
No problem.
Say, what's your password?
I can't tell you my password, Barack.
Just kidding, Jimmy.
I already know what it is.
You have my website password?
How?
John Fodesta gave it to me after I sent him a phishing email.
Man, that guy's dumb, right?
That guy is still falling for chain letters.
The handwritten time.
Don't break the chain, Jimmy.
The spirit tattoo lattica coolu will kill you.
Either that or a drone.
Did you really meet with Putin in November without even bringing up the subject of the alleged election meddling?
Sure, I spoke to Putin in November, but not about that.
Why not?
Because, as I told reporters back then, that's behind us.
How could you tell reporters that?
I'm not going to talk with you about that right now, Jimmy.
You know why?
Why?
Because me not talking to Putin about Russian meddling is behind us.
Like a weird catch-22 or something.
We're supposed to refocus ourselves on hope.
Like, I hope you forget I told reporters that Russian meddling is all behind us.
And I hope all this Russian hysteria doesn't lead us into a nuclear war.
And I hope I get to spend the dough from my $60 million book deal before that happens.
Say it like that.
So you, the leader of the Democratic Party, are saying that alleged Russian meddling in our election isn't important.
On the contrary, I think the whole Russian meddling thing has inspired millions of individual Americans to become part of something much larger than themselves.
Like a mob.
An angry, vengeful, destructive mob.
Don't break the chain, Jimmy.
Don't break the chain.
Your phone bill will be charged.
$138.
If you understand these charges, please say...
So guess what?
They did a study, and this was in the Wall Street Journal about what the media covers and what people really care about.
Now, let's remember when I say the media, Bill Clinton, Democrat, in 1996, passed the Telecommunications Act, which took us from 50 giant media companies down to six.
So every radio show, every TV show, every newspaper owned by six companies in the whole country.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Comcast, which is always voted one of the worst companies in the world to work for, owns MSNBC.
Think about that.
So they want whatever they want, Rachel Maddow says, right?
Ed Schultz was against the TPP.
They fired him because Comcast wanted the TPP.
Just so you know.
And if any of the people on MSNBC go against war, they will also be fired.
So MSNBC, we did a story on it.
Rachel Maddow's losing her mind and people are starting to notice because she spends 150% of her show, which isn't impossible, but she does it talking about Russia.
Go to her Twitter feed.
If you swallow poison and you need to throw up, go to Rachel Maddows.
Go to Rachel Maddow's Twitter feed.
Here it is.
So here's what American people care about and what the media cares about.
The top one is healthcare.
35% of the people, that's their top issue.
Healthcare.
You know how much coverage it's gotten?
4% coverage.
And 3% of that coverage is the media telling you why you can't have single payer.
Jobs, that's the next, 13%.
They cover it 1% of the time.
Terrorism, immigration, climate change.
Oh, my God.
Turns out only 10% of the people care about climate change, and it's covered 10% of the time.
Isn't that amazing?
It's almost like there's a correlation to how much they cover it and how much people give a shit.
Climate change, Russia.
Here we go, Russia.
You want to see, see those numbers?
You see that blue line?
The top line is how much people care about Russia.
6% of the people say it's their top issue.
6%.
6%.
You would never know it.
You would never know it watching the TV or reading the newspaper or listening to the radio news.
You would never know it.
6% of the people, that's it.
That's their 6% of the people.
Look how much gets covered.
75% of their time is spent covering Russia.
And you tell me I'm the crazy one?
I'm the one who doesn't get the Russia issue, but Rachel Maddow does.
Really?
By the way, the 6% of Americans that care about Russia are the ones that watch the 75% of the coverage.
I don't know how they do that, but they do it.
Goodness.
The media spends 6% of their coverage on terrorism.
5% is just Brian Williams promoting missile porn.
Look at how sexy that is.
They spend 1% of their time talking about jobs.
Isn't that something?
Probably because they're only concerned with keeping their own jobs.
So, toss it over to my wonderful panel.
What do you have to say?
Any thoughts on this?
It's unbelievable, right?
Well, at least we know the amount of wealthy, wealthy people that still pay attention to the news.
6%.
Because, I mean, I'm sorry.
If Russia is your number one issue, you come from a lot of privilege.
You just do.
I mean, if that's your number one issue and you're not seeing any of the other stuff going on, either yes, you're watching that 75% of the time and it's blowing your mind and you're abandoning rationality, or you have such a privileged blinder on that this is the only thing.
Well, Trump's a dick and I want him out.
And I don't see anything else.
You know, you would also think that the jobs people would want more than 13% would be concerned about that.
You know, being that President Obama had that jobs bill that he had put forth and that, oh no, wait a minute.
Obama never had a jobs bill or any kind of jobs program that our country needs.
Nothing, nowhere.
You don't remember all the above approach on energy?
Steph, you don't remember Barack Obama shaming, publicly shaming from coast to coast for months the Republican Congress for blocking his jobs bill?
You don't remember that?
Neither do I. Neither do I. Do you remember how he shamed everybody for not seating his Supreme Court nominee?
Me neither.
Remember how he made them pay a political price for that?
Me neither.
You know what else that's missing from this?
And I'm kind of surprised that education isn't up here.
Am I missing that somewhere?
Am I not able to see it because I'm not wearing my glasses?
But the bottom line is, I was just reading an article that since 1986, the cost of education, higher education, has increased by 500%.
No wonder people are panicked about access to education and access to health.
They're not worried about Russia because Russia.
I can't even begin to talk about it.
No, I'm with you, Steph.
I think that's a really good observation.
I wish that education would be a part of this because, I mean, if they really spent time, because I bet the media percentage would be about 1 or 2%, and that's being generous.
But if they spent more time, I mean, we are going down a path where education is almost becoming something exclusively for the elite and a society that has that sure as hell ain't a democracy.
And I think, you know, our government actually does reflect that there is just a group of people that have access to higher education and they're all in the same club together or fraternity or sorority, and we're not in it.
You ain't in it, baby.
And if you criticize that, people say, why are you defending Trump?
Aren't you going to be a patriot?
Wake up, Jimmy.
We got to go after the pussy grabber and chief.
Hillary didn't win.
Oh, she won.
I don't know if you've watched the media coverage.
She won.
Because that should be about how the Democratic Party screwed over its own base.
They literally cheated, lied repeatedly, and rigged the system.
They're the party that has super delicates for F's sake.
And you're worried about Russia screwing over our elections?
We give extra votes to elites.
No one gives a shit.
Wow.
Can I tell you what else is left off of this?
I can't believe that people, and you know what?
I want to know how the question was framed.
Because that really did they just give them these choices on what they care about?
Because I can't believe that people aren't screaming at the top of their lungs about how we continue to bail out corporations in America and not people.
We did some videos about how Jeff Bezos gets tax breaks to crush local economies.
Tax breaks.
He pays less taxes than the businesses already there in your state, in your community.
And he gets tax breaks to do it, to screw you over and eliminate jobs in your community.
We did a couple videos on that.
You would think they'd have 10 million hits.
They have regular.
I just did regular.
And you know what?
Let me throw a PSA out there.
If Russia is your number one issue, put some of your money and resources, because you probably have some of it.
Put some of that to ending the Electoral College.
Make that your number one issue instead.
Because guess what?
Hillary won the popular vote, but she's not president.
Why?
Because we have this archaic system that can be traced back to slavery that we passively accept for some reason.
So make that your number one issue instead, because I'm in favor of getting rid of the Electoral College.
I think it should have begun years ago.
Just because 40% of the elections in the 21st century have been thrown by the Electoral College to reverse the will of the people, that doesn't mean anything.
Ben Makowitz pointed that out.
Ah, just since 40% of the elections of the 21st century have overturned the popular will of the people.
I think it's a good system.
Our democracy would almost get a passing grade.
60%?
That ain't bad.
Yeah, 60% of the time that we actually care who people voted for.
All right.
So there you go.
Way to go, MSNBC, CNN, New York Times, and the Washington Post, who never met a war they didn't like.
And you wonder why people get their news from YouTube.
You know, the Washington Post just reported that John Boehner is attending a pharmacy trade show in Las Vegas where he's putting down Republican attempts to repeal Obamacare.
I'm going to call him up.
Boehner here.
I'll take 10 to 1 on Hi-Hat in the forest.
Don't fuck me over like you did last time, you dub prick.
She's a good horse.
Hey, John, this is Jimmy Dore.
Fraud me in the money.
I'm good for it.
I swear to God, you know, I'm good for it.
I need a break on this one.
This is my mom's deed to the farm at stake here.
But your mom died 20 years ago, John, and she never owned a farm.
Well, please don't tell dad about this.
It'd break his heart if he ever found out I'm gambling again and lying about mom owning a farm and being alive.
But your dad died 30 years ago.
Jesus, have you been using Google?
Okay, all right.
I've been gambling and drinking again about an event sponsored by the Good Neighbor Pharmacy at a damn casino in Las Vegas.
What the hell would you do?
Who the fuck is this again?
This is Jimmy Doer.
Well, you should appreciate the Good Neighbor Pharmacy because they call themselves a cooperative.
That's some kind of commie bullshit organization farmers created to fight the railroads back in odd six.
Thought you might appreciate that.
Yeah, but Good Neighbor Pharmacy is owned by the same corporation that pumped over 120 million opiate pills into West Virginia.
What?
How could you possibly criticize a company with a name like Amerasaurus Bergen?
It's got the word America in it.
And Bergen, which you know is a traditional German name for death camp.
With a name like Amerasaurus Bergen, you know it's good.
That's a smoker's jam slogan.
Smuckers made death camps too.
So who might be talking to again?
So whom am I talking to again?
Notice how I used whom and not who.
This is Jimmy Doer.
Oh, yeah.
Don't you run an outstanding entertainment program?
Yes, thank you.
I'm just screwing with you, you sad sack.
I don't know who the hell you are, and I don't care.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call.
We have time in the podcast, but we save it for the premium.
And how do you become a premium?
Bever, you go to jimmydoorcombody.com, click join premium.
There's a couple of different levels now.
But if you just want to be an audio premium, just to have it go right into your audio holes in your head, you could get that, I think, still for the most affordable premium program at the business.
I think it's still $5 a month for the audio.
Plus, we offer video and lots more stuff if you become a Jimmy Door premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Check it out.
New website and everything.
Okay.
Hey, our next live show is August 16th.
That's a Wednesday, 5 p.m.
I think it's the only live show we're doing in August.
Go to jimmydoorcombody.com for tickets.
That's at Burbank, California.
That's August 16th.
It's part of the Burbank Comedy Festival.
That's August 16th.
That's a Wednesday, 5 p.m. show.
We're going to get hammered in the early evening.
All right.
Today's show was written by Rod Placode, Mike McRae, Jim Earl, Frank Cottoff, and Steph Zabarado.
All the voices today performed by Mike McRae that can be found at microcray.com.
That's it for this week until next week.
This is Jimmy Door saying you'll be the best you could be.
And I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't bring up.
Don't talk about the fucking don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not in it.
Don't you don't go for it.
Don't let you go.
Don't go.
Do not roll out.
Do not freak.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Not freak out.
Not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't dump the dump of the button.
Don't freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't go freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
▲
Export Selection