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June 23, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:17
20170623_0623PODCAST
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for Luckies.
The kind of people that are.
Comments, maybe on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore Show.
We had a great time Monday at the Burbank Show.
It was fantastic, as usual.
Of course, we had a problem with the file.
The audio file got corrupted.
So it's semi-okay.
It's not good enough to play, though, for your ears, right?
Because people listen to this with their ears.
They don't watch it with their eyes.
So that's, hey, we're going to be doing lots more live shows.
We'll bring them to you.
So I don't know.
Why would I even tell you about that at the top of the show?
Maybe I should have saved this for the end.
We've got a great show, nonetheless.
We're going to talk about the real reason why John Osoff was beaten worse than Hillary Clinton, actually.
Did you know that?
Yeah, I don't know.
We're going to talk about that.
Plus, even MSNBC's urging the Democrats to stop talking about Russia.
Also, the establishment press starting to admit the Trump Russia story's lack of evidence making them uncomfortable.
Plus, we got phone calls today from George Clooney, also Rick Perrot, Ricky Bobby Perry, and Jeb Bush.
Plus, I got to tell you, before we get to the rest of the show, I'm really surprised the DNC hasn't blamed John Osoff's loss on Sanders, Stein, and Putin yet.
Okay.
Maybe they're trying to fit the Irish in there, too.
Hey, Donald Trump won Georgia's sixth district by 1.5%, yet the DNC still keeps pushing the same crappy candidates while expecting different results.
That's not only the definition of insanity, it's the definition of a Democrat.
All right.
Hey, it was Father's Day last Sunday, and my name is Jimmy Dore, and I'm probably sterile.
I hope you had a happy Father's Day, or as I like to call it, Daddy Issues Day.
Remember, so much of being a parent is just showing up when your child fails so you can point and laugh.
All right, now let's get on with the rest of the show.
All right.
All right.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey there, Jimmy.
Hey, it's George Clooney.
The one and only.
And I mean that.
There's only one meeter on the moment.
Well, I'm very glad you called.
So great to have you on the phone.
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
You know, Jimmy, I can tell that you get very excited when I call, even under the flimsiest pretenses.
We used to talk about politics.
We don't anymore.
So I like to, you know, I like to indulge you every now and again.
Wow, George, how kind.
You see, I represent a sort of fantasy for every 50-year-old American man.
I'm handsome, famous, wealthy.
Got a sort of vagus-centric sense of gentlemanliness about me.
Banging everyone's wife and whatnot.
It's very tense to want to live vicariously through me, and I recognize that.
Yes, George, I agree with what you're saying.
And I'd be lying if I say that I wasn't thrilled that we're phone friends.
Your establishment Democratic politics aside, I mean, you do certainly represent an ideal male life, an alternate reality of middle-aged from what many of us experience.
I mean, the prospect of being included in your circle of casual suit-wearing men about town is tantalizing beyond belief.
But I have to also admit that beneath all that flows a veritable river of molten jealousy, white hot and all-consuming.
It's very difficult to countenance how one man can have so much.
I understand completely, Jimmy.
Hence my nonchalant, oh, shucks attitude and occasional self-deprecating joke.
It's important to be humble.
A wiser man than myself once told me, George Clooney, you are the shit.
All right, with all that out of the way, I guess I should ask what you've been up to.
Oh, not much, Samo, Samo.
You know how it goes.
Twins doing well?
Yeah, that's all fine.
Okay.
Racking my brain here.
Any projects coming up?
I'm in the early stages of something, but it's too early to even be worth talking about at this point, really.
I see.
Just been sort of tiddling around.
Oh, man, that's sort of disappointing.
I mean, I was kind of hoping you'd have some exciting George Clooney type news for us.
No, not really.
Oh, wait.
Oh, yeah.
I just sold my tequila company for a billion dollars.
But enough about my saggy ass.
What have you been up to?
Well, you know, we just got back from our live show in Chicago, which was sold out.
We got to interview Nina Turner.
And, you know, we got another mention.
Hey, wait a minute.
What did you just say?
About what?
You sold.
Oh, yeah, tequila company for a billion dollars.
Okay, first of all, you have a tequila company?
Yeah, it was called Casamigos.
Me and my buddy started it as a lark, you know, mainly just because we wanted a personal stash of ultra-smooth tequila for us to drink when we went down to Cabo.
But our distiller convinced us to market and distribute our little concoction, and lo and behold, it started selling like hotcakes.
Before you know it, it was valued at a billion U.S. Neither of us really planned on getting in the spirits business, but hey, you know, shit happens, I guess.
Jimmy?
Jimmy, you there?
Oh, no, my cell phone must have.
What?
Hey, there you are, Squanto.
You have got to be kidding me.
No, there you are.
Existence is.
How is this possible?
How can one man get everything?
I'm busting my hub trying to build a modest media presence, and that requires every ounce of my soul being squeezed out of me on a daily basis.
And you get an oops billion dollars by accident simply because you like to drink.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to murder you, George Clooney.
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Calm down.
Just calm down.
No.
Just breathe, Jimmy.
I've seen this happen a million times.
What you're experiencing is called Clooney Jealousy Overload Disorder, or CJOD.
It's a disorder that starts in a hypothalamus.
It's very common among people that I personally interact with.
You just need to breathe, breathe deep breaths.
Okay, all right, very good there, corn planter.
Now, the best treatment for this is usually I come over there to your place.
You and I have a glass of scotch together.
Okay.
And then I bang your wife.
Now, whether you want to watch or not, that's totally up to you.
Most patients.
Will you screwdriver George Clooney with a screwdriver to the forehead?
Will I?
Okay, you'll just talk when you're feeling better.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Guess who's here?
It's Steph Saberato, the miserable liberal, and the political vigilante, Graham Elwood.
Hey, Grab.
Hello.
I'm miserable.
Yes.
Look, she's got the Dotta Tynahan's t-shirt on, though.
Let's see that t-shirt.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's like she does this with a.
It's his tiny hands.
Yeah.
Oh, that's what it is, Tiny Hands.
Okay.
I'm trying to show them the proportions.
And you can get those t-shirts right now there.
Listen, we had a big special election at Georgia's six.
This guy, John Osoff, he was the Democratic hopeful, right?
John Osoff.
Now, you want to see his campaign commercial?
Now, he lost, right?
Now he lost.
And I wonder why he lost.
He's a Democrat running in a red district.
Let's see what his campaign was all about.
Let's see what it was about.
How do we keep Metro Atlanta's economy growing?
I'm John Osoff, and we have to look at how it's all connected.
Places like the CDC drive innovation with advanced research.
Our universities and tech schools train our talented young people.
And entrepreneurs create good jobs, like in the Alpharetta Tech Corridor.
That's why in Congress, I'll work to cut wasteful spending and prioritize high-tech research.
I approve this message because it's all connected.
So if you run a campaign about nothing, it turns out people won't vote for you.
John Osseff did worse than Hillary Clinton in that district.
Why?
She ran against this.
You know what this is?
This is I'm not Trump.
That's what that is.
Doing even worse six months later.
Or what is it now, eight months?
Doing the I'm not Trump.
That's what that is.
I'm not Trump, right, ladies?
That's what that is.
Nothing.
And what I said was that you got a Democrat who's against single payer and against taxing the wealthy.
He lost to a Republican who's also against single payer and taxing the wealthy.
So when the voters are given the choice between a Republican and a Republican, they choose the Republican every goddamn time.
That's why he did even worse than Hillary friggin Clinton.
Over to you.
He didn't feel inspired by all those photos of buildings.
I thought it was great to see that laser go through all of these buildings that don't give a shit about working class people.
Yeah.
It was fantastic.
Hey, rich white-collar college-educated people.
You're going to get taken care of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, it was as if the message was to inspire entrepreneurs to come out and vote.
So this, this is so.
That just felt like an ad for like a tax break to bring your business to Georgia.
It didn't felt like a campaign at all.
That doesn't feel like a campaign.
You know what that felt like?
That felt like you're trying to get me to apply to your college.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what that felt like.
Or you're like, it's one of those ads they play in the middle of like a college sporting event.
Like the University of Georgia, technology.
Yes.
Arts.
It doesn't sound like, right?
Oh, that's interesting.
There is no mention of arts.
There is no mention of anything that might make a person's life better.
It's all this like corporatist.
Yes.
He's a corporatist.
So this is the Democratic message of get educated.
Education will save us.
If you don't have the job you want, get a better education.
Instead of like, oh, maybe we should have jobs for blue-collar people.
Maybe we should have a safety net.
Maybe we should figure out how we manufacture stuff in America instead of shipping all our good jobs to other people in poor countries and more desperate situations.
That's what the liberal elite has been doing.
They have been selling out the working class people, and all they have been doing is saying, yay, isn't globalization great?
Hey, who give?
Sorry, working-class people.
Just go to college, even though we don't provide you the infrastructure of good public schools and access to college.
But hey, we're rich.
Yep.
Yeah, was there anything in this that talked about a livable wage?
No, there's no.
I'm telling you, the guy doesn't care about anything.
He just wanted to be not Trump.
Now, I don't know anything about John Osof's insides.
I don't know his character.
I don't know what he really thinks.
I know he's 30 years old.
And I know you got to be a special kind of person to know what the hell's going on when you're 30 years old and what you want to do, right?
So hopefully he's that kind of guy.
But it turns out, no, because if you watch this commercial, it's about nothing.
Here, let's watch it again.
Here it is.
How do we keep Metro Atlanta's economy growing?
I'm John Osoff, and we have to look at how it's all connected.
Places like the CDC drive innovation through advanced research.
Our universities and tech schools train our talented young people.
Look at all those cool buildings.
You're right, Steph.
Wow.
Those are a lot of cool buildings.
Not one fucking person in that.
Not one person, not him showing helping someone or implementing nothing.
If he shows me one more big building with something like glitzy swirling around it, he's got my vote.
Every single one of those buildings requires you to have a fancy college degree, requires you to have access, big universities.
So if you're a working-class Georgian, you're like, oh, you just told me you don't give a shit about me.
So I might as well at least go for the lady that's going to let me have a gun.
So what you are correct.
You are correct.
And by the way, so, you know, the Democrats always, the reason why the Democrats, the DNC, after they lost to Trump, moved to the right.
How did they do that, Jimmy?
They decided to start taking corporate money again.
So Barack Obama, one of the things he instituted was no more lobbyist money at the DNC.
They got rid of that.
They moved to the right.
And why?
Because Tom Perez said you can't bring a spoon to a knife fight, meaning you can't show up to an election without a bunch of corporate money.
Bernie Sanders showed them that that's all bullshit and they ignored it because they go he lost.
But you cheated him, right?
You had to cheat the guy who didn't take corporate money?
Yeah.
Okay.
So that's that's so what they're saying.
So that's more.
So he raised and spent more money than she did in that race.
Still didn't win.
He spent a lot more money.
In fact, here's the Good Morning America guy.
The career politician who was vastly outspent by her opponent and didn't get half of his adulation is heading to Washington.
That sounds familiar.
When did that happen again?
That happened before.
When did that ever happen?
When did the Democrat ever vastly outspend their opponent and still lose and not go to watch?
Oh, wait a minute.
That was 2016, this presidential election.
That's right.
Hillary Clinton outspend Donald Trump two to one.
So did the Democrats decide that we should keep implementing those same strategies that we lost with?
Yes, that is exactly what they're doing.
Excellent.
So here's the strategy.
So this strategy, by the way, and everyone's like, see, the Democrats can't beat Trump.
So when they do run a progress.
Well, first of all, here's the strategy that they're employing.
This is the strategy that they're employing.
This is the Democratic strategy that's losing for them.
For every blue-collar Democrat we will lose in Western PA, we will pick up two, three moderate Republicans in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin.
That's the Democratic leader in the Senate.
That was their strategy.
That's still their strategy.
How did it work out?
They moved to the right in 2010.
They lost.
They moved even further right in 2012, lost again.
They moved to the right in 2014, lost again.
And they moved to the right in 2016.
Complete wipeout.
Thousand seats across the country.
State houses.
They lost the governorships.
They lost the Congress.
They lost the Senate.
And they lost the presidency.
2017, they moved to the right again, and they lost again.
John Osoff is a move to the right.
He's a corporate Democrat.
In fact, Joy Ann Reid tweeted this out.
Here's what Joy Ann Reed tweeted out.
John Osoff ran quite a strong campaign, but short of actually being a Republican, there's nothing more he could have done.
What?
Maybe give them a fucking option.
Maybe explain to the people in Georgia's sixth district how progressive policies are actually better for the economy and better for people, better for education, better for climate change, better for their economy, better for the country, better for everything.
How about you make that case?
No, no, no.
The way we're going to win is become Republicans.
That's the opposite of why you should have a party.
Well, but it's in a red state.
It's in a red district.
Hillary lost that district by 1%.
Hillary lost that district by 1.5%.
This guy, John Osuff, lost it by 4%.
So this is, again, when offered the opportunity to vote for a Republican or a Republican, they choose the Republican every goddamn time.
So this is what this is, they're implementing Chuck Schumer's strategy.
He's not for single payer.
He's not for ending the wars.
He's not for a living wage.
He's basically, I'm not Trump.
I'm going to be polite to women.
That was his strategy.
I'm going to be polite to women.
How's that work out for you?
You did worse than Hillary Clinton.
Worse than Hillary Clinton in a red district.
You did worse than her.
That's how bad that is.
So guess, but guess what?
The Democrats decided to dump a shit ton of money into that one.
When there's a progressive running in a red district, they won't put any money into it.
Like Thompson in Kansas.
They wouldn't put any money into that race.
But we got a corporate neoliberal running in a red district.
DNC couldn't throw an - I think they spent $4 million on that race.
Thompson was asking for $20,000 in Kansas.
They wouldn't give it to him.
So this is what this is, Kajoy Reid, she's the mouthpiece of the corporate Democrats.
She's the smeare of progressives.
She works for MSNBC, and that's who she is.
So everyone knows who Joy Ann Reed is.
She's a person who lies at the top of her lungs to smear progressives.
She has no integrity.
She's your typical MSNBC host.
If you pay me $30,000 a day, I'll say whatever the hell you want, and I won't say a lot of other stuff that you don't want me to say.
That's who Rachel Maddow is.
That's who Chris Hayes is.
That's who Chris Matthews is.
That's what MSN, and now they're just going ahead and hiring right-wingers.
They're just hiring Fox News House now.
So we don't have to, maybe we don't have to give you that much money.
Maybe we don't have to spend that much money.
Maybe you'll just give us talking points.
So there you go.
That's what's wrong with the Democratic Party.
They think the way to win in Red's districts is to become Republican.
Bernie Sanders proved that's wrong.
Right-wingers will vote for Bernie Sanders because he's unbought.
They will not vote for a corporate neoliberal.
That's why that guy, John Ossif, did worse than Hillary Clinton.
Go ahead, over to you.
Well, I think the guy in Kansas, if he wanted to get some money, he should have just made a video where there's lasers going through corporate Disneyland telling everybody how great it is to be a corporate person with a college degree that takes money from the middle and poor classes.
I think we also have to get away from the idea that somebody has run a strong campaign and they've lost.
Can we stop saying that they've run a strong campaign?
And they lost.
But here's the real problem.
So not only did they run a neoliberal guy with no, we showed you his commercial, has absolutely nothing to say.
His campaign was nothing, just like Hillary Clinton's, and he did even worse.
So here's now, and here's the conclusion.
So when you run a neoliberal, when you run a corporatist who's not looking out for the people, who's not for a living wage, who's not for tuition-free college, who's not for ending the wars, who's not for single-payer, when you do that, you get beat worse than Hillary Clinton got beat.
And it's a victory for Trump.
Want to hear it?
This is how it's being reported on Good Morning America.
Democrats across the country who invested hope and millions of dollars in the race and wanted a little payback for November will have to regroup.
The president is a little stronger this morning.
You make him stronger.
When Tom Perez became the DNC chair, you made Trump stronger.
When you don't fund a progressive running in Kansas and he loses, you make Trump stronger.
When you do fund a corporatist neoliberal in Georgia and he loses, you make Trump stronger.
And why else did this guy lose?
Do you want to hear the real reason this guy lost?
Osoff's unforced error was where he lives, which is outside the district.
David.
Ha ha!
We got a corporatist who gets most of his money from outside the district, and he doesn't even live in the district.
And he has no plan to help people.
I wonder why he didn't win.
That sounds like a strong campaign.
Strong campaign.
Hey, let's get someone who doesn't live here, doesn't know anybody here.
Let's get someone who doesn't live here, who gets most of his funding from outside our district and doesn't offer us anything.
No change.
Let's see what happens.
It's like, we're going to hire a head coach who has no football experience, but he's, and then when his team goes 0-16, we're going to say, that was a strong season.
That was a solid season.
That was really good.
He had a lot of baseball experience, but I thought that applied well to the National Football League.
So the guy didn't even live in the goddamn district, and the Democrats couldn't put more money.
The DNC, Driple C, couldn't put enough money in there.
He outspent her.
He had $23 million, John Hassef.
In a congressional district, by the way, the most expensive congressional race in history.
Democrats still lost.
And he vastly outspent her.
You heard the Good Morning America reporter.
Vastly outspent her.
Had way more adulation.
Still lost.
Why?
Because he didn't offer them anything.
The guy's good looking.
He's pretty.
He's got a strong jaw.
Looks good in a suit.
Has great speaking voice.
His commercial looks like it came from a college for a college.
Still lost.
You got a 75-year-old Jewish guy with a JCPenney suit and no hair.
Somehow he got 70,000 people out the stadiums.
Somehow he got 46% of the Democratic vote in the primary.
Even being cheated and having the entire establishment news media against him and every elected Democrat against him.
Somehow that guy still kicked ass hard with zero name recognition.
Made up a 60-point lead.
Why?
Because he had policies that actually helped people.
And the Democrats are not changing.
They are not changing.
This is the race they funded.
Keith Boykin.
Do you know who Keith Boykin is, Dave?
He is a PhD professor at Harvard, and he's a CNN commentator.
This guy's a fucking piece of shit.
And he tweeted this out.
I'm not a violent person, but today I just want to smack the stupid out of the Jill Stein voters or Bernie Buss crowd.
Hey, FYI, I'm sure there's an environmentalist group on the Harvard campus.
Okay?
Just so you know, so I'm sure they feel great.
There's a fucking professor there tweeting out.
He wants to fucking smack you all in the fucking face.
Okay?
That's fantastic.
All the misdirected anger this guy has, he would have made a perfect cop.
You know that, right?
Hey, somebody get this guy's resume to the oil and gas industry the next time they need contractors to crack the heads of water protectors.
You know, a lot of those environmentalists are Jill Stein supporters, too.
So a lot of them.
So this guy would really fucking love to beat up some water protectors, maybe go up to Dapple, kick some ass up there.
That's who they hire at CNN.
That's who the fuck.
And he has no problem.
By the way, that's still up.
That tweet's still up.
He hasn't taken it down.
That's still there.
That's an actual, and right underneath it says, Never forget Bernie and Jill helped elect the criminal currently destroying our country.
But is this about the Trump pulling out of Paris?
Yes, so Trump pulls out of Paris.
I'm a huge environmentalist.
It's my number one fucking thing.
What do you fucking think would have happened if Clinton was elected?
Certainly not California saying that they're going to get rid of all fucking carbon emissions by 2045.
No, in that case, it would have been pragmatism and bullshit.
The only way you get that is if a fuckhead like Trump pulls out and then people actually step up and do something.
You're literally watching it fucking happen.
You're literally watching what Sarasen Strand had said would happen, which is when he does something fucking horrible, everyone then finally acts.
The fucking world is burning down.
You need to get crazy and act.
And now California and is it New York and another state, Massachusetts, there's another state.
Now they're all getting together.
60 cities.
They're all fucking getting.
Now it's actually fucking happening.
If Clinton was in there, nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing would happen.
Crickets and fracking and the same old shit.
And so, Dave, how about a hand for Dave saying that?
Because that is true.
That is true what he's saying.
And I'll tell you another thing.
So here's an analogy apparently I made a long time ago.
Somebody tweeted at me.
I forgot.
That it's like we are the neoliberalism, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton.
We are the frog in the pot, right?
And they have it on simmer, and we don't feel it because it's coming up.
But Donald Trump puts that on fucking blast.
And then, oh my God, it's boiling a network.
And we're all aware of it now.
So we're all aware of what's happening to the environment.
Hillary Clinton wanted to export fucking fracking all over the world.
That's exactly.
So she just said she is in favor of Trump fucking bombing Syria.
She just said that.
She would be bombing the fuck out of Syria right now.
Exactly.
Oh, but you know what?
We wouldn't have a travel ban.
Oh, that's right.
We don't.
The fucking courts blocked it.
So we would not even have that fucking, oh, you know, we wouldn't have the wall around next show.
Oh, no.
The Congress hasn't approved that money either.
So none of that shit would be happening.
None of that shit is happening.
So this idea that Hillary would be, it'd be so much better if Hillary is around is complete fucking bullshit.
So apparently.
Yes.
Graham Elwood is correct.
Could you look Chris Hayes in the eyes and say that?
Can you look Chris Hayes in the eyes?
Could you look him in the eyes?
Apparently, this guy is not a professor of physics or else he would understand cause and effect.
Because obviously he does not understand cause and effect.
You know, academia has always offended the elite in status.
Cool.
I mean, just ask anyone who was in school during Vietnam, am I right?
Come on, don't be an asshole.
Let's see.
I have one more joke, and then we'll move on.
No, that's it.
I mean, what else do you need to know about neoliberalism?
So I wanted, so I didn't have enough time.
Today I had the idea.
Oh, I'm going to do a segment on all the people you should actually blame for Trump's presidency.
And it would be, I don't know who that is, but I would start blaming Tom Perez, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, all the fucking Democrats who voted for the Iraq war and the surveillance state and the Patriot Act and the repeal Glass-Steagall and for the fucking NAFTA and for TP.
That's who you should be fucking blaming.
Those are the people because there's actual pain in the country.
Millions of Democrats voted for Donald Trump.
He's not going to punch those people.
You're not going to punch the Democrats who voted for fucking Donald Trump.
Why not?
How about half the country who didn't fucking vote?
Why don't you punch those people?
How about you go punch the motherfuckers who fucking invented the Electoral College?
How about you go?
How about you go punch the guys who invented voting on fucking the work day?
How about you go punch those motherfuckers?
No, but he's again, he's got his head on straight.
He's a PhD and a CNN commentator, and he's angry at the powerless.
That's who this guy's upset at.
I want to go punch someone with no money and no fucking power because I don't have the courage to be angry at the people who are actually fucking responsible because they signed my checks.
Because CNN would rather show an empty podium of Donald Trump than a fucking speech from an actual progressive who's speaking to climate change.
That's what's wrong.
Hey, everybody, this is the part of the show where I usually tell you to go to our Amazon.com link.
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Click it.
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Well, you can become a premium member.
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Thank you for doing that.
Now let's get on to the second half.
The End Oh, God, please answer.
Oh, come on.
Pick up a phone.
Please pick up a phone.
Come on, life.
Come here some slack here.
Is anybody there?
Please, please, please pick up the phone.
Yellow.
Oh, hi, Jimmy.
Did you just call me?
No.
I've been so busy, old Haley, sometimes I lose track, I guess.
Who is this?
Very funny.
Heck, you know who this is?
It's Jeb Bush.
Jeb who?
Bush.
Jeb, but I was governor.
Oh, heck.
I ran for president, remember?
Who gave you this number?
God darn it.
You did, remember?
Oh, yeah, I guess so.
Hey, I don't have much time, so.
Do you know how many times I've ulta-visted myself lately?
What does that even mean?
Even I know that's a now-defunct internet search engine, Jeb.
Please don't be mad.
I meant Yahoo.
My mistake.
I search my name every day, over and over and over again.
Do you know why?
Because you're lonely?
No, but I am.
Because you want to see if you're still relevant?
No, because my son's running for Texas Land Commissioner.
You should check out his conservative record of accomplishment.
His middle name is Prescott.
And get this: he was one of People Magazine's top 100 bachelors of the year 2000.
Jeb, I just happen to have a copy of People Magazine's Top 100 Bachelors of the Year 2000.
There were only 50 bachelors on that list.
What?
That was 17 freaking years ago.
How could you possibly have a copy of that sitting right in front of you?
The odds of that happening are like a thousand to one.
Oh, geez.
And your son's not on that list.
Uh-huh, okay.
Oh, hey, I know.
Why don't you ask me if I think Donald Trump obstructed justice by firing James Comey?
Okay, do you think Donald Trump obstructed justice by firing James Comey?
No, but who cares what I think, right?
Okay, now ask me about anything else.
I really don't have anything in mind, really.
Okay, can I ask you something?
Sure, I guess.
Will you be my big brother?
What?
I mean, I know you can't biologically be my big brother, but like figuratively or something where we go out bowling every once in a while or go to a bar like grown-ups and drink sarsaparilla and assorted licorice drinks.
But you already have a big brother, Jeb.
He's always painting, you asshole.
Oh, God, I'm sorry I shouted.
I really got to go.
There's a Jehovah Witness at my door.
I can't keep him waiting.
Bye-bye.
No, wait.
Oh, God, please don't hang up.
Don't tell anybody this happened.
Wait, please.
Oh, come on.
Well, Jeb, it's just you and me again.
Hey, Jeb, what?
Did you know today is the longest day of the year?
Really?
That's pretty interesting.
You sure do have a lot of fascinating facts on hand all the time.
Oh, thank you.
That's because I read the Farmer's Almanac.
Give heppiness to your buddy, Macarena.
Hey, Macarena.
Hey.
Hey, McCarina.
Oh, geez.
Hey, everybody, I'm here with the miserable liberal and Graham Elwood, the political vigilante.
There he is.
Check him out on the YouTubes.
We're talking about what I've been talking about for a long time.
And now people are starting to come around to the Jagoff Nightclub comedians' point of view about Russia.
Hey, maybe we could do two things at once.
Maybe we can investigate a guy and we could stop pretending he's treasonous.
Maybe we could wait till we have evidence before we start turning people into freaking xenophobic maniacs about Russia.
By the way, Russia's not communist anymore.
They're shitty capitalists just like us exploiting everybody.
Here is Donny Douche from MSNBC.
Is that how you say his name?
I believe that's correct.
He's got a great head of hair.
That's all I know.
I'm so envious of Donny Deutsch's hair.
Is it Deutsche?
Is it Douche?
Here he is talking about Russia.
Now, what I've said for months, when they go, oh, Trump, that colluded with Russia.
And I would say, what collusion?
How did they collude?
Did Trump pay Russia to hack John Podesta's email?
Did he have to pay them?
Or did they just do it pro bono?
Or did they wait for Trump to plan it out?
How did he collude with them?
What did Trump do?
And what I've said is they're going to investigate Trump and they're going to find regular corruption.
Trump's regular corruption.
So they go, oh, well, he's in bed with Putin.
He's in bed with Russian oligarchs.
Yeah, that's called regular corrupt.
So what if it's a Russian oligarch or a Greek oligarch or a Spanish oligarch or a French oligarch or an oligarch from Saudi Arabia?
Who cares?
That's regular corruption, just like the Clintons did.
Bill Clinton got half a million dollars for a speech to a Kremlin bank.
And his wife signed off on the plutonium deal.
That's real quid pro quo corruption.
So they're going to find out that Trump, what I've been saying is, yeah, they're going to find out he's been money laundering for some Russian mobster guys.
Regular corruption.
He's not.
Here's Donny Deutsch telling you.
You know, I think of all of us here, you probably know Trump the best personally.
And at a personal level, what is it about him that cannot do what I just said, cannot say with confidence, my victory is legitimate and I'm going to be tough on Russia.
What?
Why do you need someone to say that?
Russia's.
Do you remember with Barack Obama?
We made fun of Mitt Romney for saying that.
We made fun of him, Mitt Romney, for saying that.
They said, maybe your foreign policy stuck in the 80s.
The Bushes go, the Bushes, George and his father, George C., they would go on fishing trips with Putin.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that?
So all of a sudden, we got afraid of Russia again, even though they're not communists.
Why?
Because the Democratic Party had to invent it to cover up for their fucking horribleness.
Is Trump corrupt?
Yeah.
Is every politician corrupt?
Yes.
Is Barack Obama corrupt?
Super corrupt.
Is Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton super corrupt?
Super regular corruption, baby.
What is it about him that cannot do what I just said, cannot say with confidence, my victory is legitimate and I'm going to be tough on Russia.
Why can't he do both those things?
Well, two reasons.
Number one, we know that think of an inflatable doll, that if you put a pin in it, it will shrivel like this.
His self-esteem is so in play every day, is so fragile that any blemish, any war brings into question his totality.
And the other thing, instead of us sitting here and going, no, he's not asking about it, no, he's either asking about it, he just knows where it's going to go.
And he knows that the more you connect the word Russia and Donald Trump, forget whether it was actually meddling in the election.
Anytime, because I've said this many times, we're going to talk about it later in the show, that this is all going to come down to his financial dependency on some very questionable Russian characters in his real estate business.
Follow the money, that's what it's all about.
So he's not as concerned with, oh, the election, but the more you suggest that, the more you peel back the onion.
And what the real problem is going to surface, he knows he walks around with that every day.
Did you hear what he's saying to a table full of fucking jaguars?
And they're all agreeing with him?
That he knows that if we keep investigating him for treason, we're going to find out that he's got some bad money deals with some Russian oligarchs.
So it's not treason and nobody should be shitting their pants.
It's just regular corruption.
And he's not a traitor.
Is that what you're saying?
Because that's what you've been saying for fucking eight months.
That's what all those assholes at that table have been saying.
That he's a traitor, that Trump is a traitor.
He's committed treason.
He's colluded with the Russians to throw our election.
And that's why he won't bomb Putin.
And now he says it's all going to come down to this.
We're going to find out he's taken some shady money from some shady characters.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Now you've moved the goalpost this far.
Now this is what the problem is.
Here it goes.
And guess, and they'll never give guys like me credit.
They'll never give guys like, never, never.
But that's it.
You know what we're going to find?
Regular fucking stupid corruption.
Every real estate guy's corrupt.
Every goddamn real estate deal is corrupt.
Every banking deal is corrupt.
That's why they keep changing the laws.
They funnel a trillion dollars worth of drug money a year in our fucking banking system and nothing happened.
They're all goddamn corrupt.
And that's why it doesn't land with Trump voters because Trump knows they're all corrupt.
We live in a goddamn fucking oligarchy that is 100% corrupt and the establishment never goes to jail even if they fucking order an illegal war and then war crimes to cover it up.
Nobody goes to prison if you're an establishment.
No one.
If you screw up at the behest of the establishment, you are gold-plated.
If you tell the truth about what the establishment's doing, we're going to torture you like Chelsea Manning.
Let's see, you've got a little bit more to say.
He knows exactly what he owes Russia, how he owes them, and how that's going to undo him.
Glenn, here's David Brooks from the Washington, from the New York Times.
David Brooks, fastball down the middle, conservative guy.
He's wrong about everything, but he's the PBS news hour for years he was on.
From the right, David Brooks.
And Mark Shields from the left.
It was actually a guy from the corporate center and then a guy from the right.
There's no phony from the left on PBS.
No one.
So here he is.
You've heard all the interviews.
David Brooks, do you have any better sense of where the president is this morning on this investigation?
You know, I'm actually getting more uncomfortable with this whole deal, thinking that maybe we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.
And I'm bothered by the lack of emerging evidence about underlying the underlying crime, that there was actually collusion or coordination between the Trump White House.
That's on Meet the F and fucking press.
That's a fucking Jagoff editorial writer for the New York goddamn Times.
His paper has been printing inflammatory, xenophobic bullshit about Trump for over a year.
And now this guy's like, you know what, I'm actually being, you know, I'm such a good newsman that a year later, I'm getting troubled by the lack of evidence.
Meanwhile, the entire establishment press is trying to undermine the presidency with no evidence.
And you know what?
A year later, that's starting to bother me.
Wow.
He's got a little bit more to say.
And so what's happened is we've surrounded the president with this legal minefield.
And Donald Trump being Donald Trump steps all over the legal minefield and blows him up six ways from Sunday.
But it's become an investigation about itself.
And, you know, I've lived through Whitewater.
I lived through a lot of these.
And there's a lot of shady behavior that don't rise to the Watergate level.
And I'm just afraid we're being swallowed up by the politics of scandal when there's less and less evidence that they actually colluded.
And maybe that'll come out, but so far it hasn't, and it bothers me.
You've heard all.
Wow.
That's a mine.
I mean, that's like, I guess a year of screaming Russia, Russia, Russia with no concrete evidence.
I guess some people are finally like speaking up about this.
Finally.
Finally.
Like, because everyone knows if you just want to go, if you want to impeach him, just do the emollience clause and we're done.
You don't need to find this Russia thing.
You're exactly right.
It's done.
You could have impeached him.
You could have...
You could have...
Sorry, everybody.
This isn't, it's unconstitutional.
They could have done that.
But this is just such nonsense.
And when they start hearing people like Nina Turner say, hey, nobody in Ohio or Flint, Michigan gives a shit about Russia.
They're starting to hear more and more people say that.
No one's talking about it at the town hall meetings.
The people in North Carolina who don't have fucking drink, now they have contaminated water.
Is anyone there going, hey, yeah, I know the contaminated water might make me and my family sick, but what about Russia?
No one's fucking saying it.
There you go.
David Brooks.
I'm a little troubled.
I'm a little troubled.
He's a little troubled by the lack of evidence.
And do you think on this newscast that day after talking about this?
Do you think then they said, you know what?
Well, maybe we won't have this conversation after all about Russia.
Let's talk about the 4,000 troops that are being sent to Afghanistan.
Let's have that conversation.
No, I don't think that happened.
And of course that didn't happen.
Now, we've talked about what's wrong with the Democratic Party until we're blue in the face.
Ha ha, ironically.
But it's gotten so bad for the Democratic Party that even mainstream news people can see through it.
I'm not kidding.
Even knuckleheads on MSNBC are now occasionally being able to see the problem in the Democratic Party.
Here's Mika.
Because what we've been talking about is the Democrats having these resistance.
We call it Mick resistance, right?
Because what should be being resisted is corporatism, which is what gave us Trump.
Trump didn't fucking take us to Iraq.
Trump didn't pass NAFTA.
Trump didn't give us a shitty right-wing health care bill yet.
Trump didn't bail out the banks and screw the homeowners.
Trump didn't repeal Glass-Steagall.
Trump didn't piss on our leg and tell us it's raining.
We got here because of Trump didn't take two wars and expand them to seven.
Trump did, again, Trump didn't make the banks bigger.
Trump didn't fail to regulate.
Well, Trump didn't do anything.
We're here not because of Trump.
He is a symptom of the problem.
And now, even news people are starting to notice.
So when we have those weekend marches, oh, we're going to have a march against Trump.
We're going to have a march to demand impeachment.
So those are marches for nothing.
Those are marches for absolutely nothing.
Hey, maybe you make the march about single payer.
Maybe you make the mark about a march about a living wage.
Maybe you make the march about ending the fucking wars and investing that money back at home.
Maybe you make the march about breaking up the big banks and regulating Wall Street.
Maybe you make the march about having a fucking jobs program instead of a war program.
That's our jobs program.
You know, just how ISIS goes gets the most desperate poor people to join them.
Guess who else does that?
The United States.
We bankrupted our cities, and now we go into them and say, you want to go to college?
It's going to cost you a million dollars.
Unless you go kill some poor brown people in another country for the oil companies, then we'll send you to college.
Oh, it sounds pretty much like what ISIS says.
Are you desperate?
We'll take care of you.
That's what the United States does.
You're desperate, don't have a job, can't afford college?
Come kill some people for us.
Okay.
Sounds just like ISIS, doesn't it?
Yeah.
I don't know how I get off on that.
But here is Mika Brzezinski.
She even sees through the Democrats.
Here we go.
I mean, what is this?
Are we on month six of this presidency and they have the power in Congress?
So after all the marches, all the money spent, and after nothing being accomplished in Washington, I mean, really, the stage was set for the Democrats to get something done.
And it really just shows how much the Democrats still, how much work needs to be done to rebuild the party.
What do you think of that?
I think the things you're saying about like how ISIS recruits and how we do that with poor people here, that's what street gangs do.
Yep.
Street gangs do the same thing.
You have no opportunity.
Nobody will protect you.
And in the rural parts of America, that's what the white supremacists in KKK does, right?
They go to poor white people and say, hey, no one's got your back.
The KKK does.
And it's very easy to go, that's what they all do.
ISIS all.
Then that group over there, that group over there, they're the problem.
And all the Democrats have to do is go, hey, working people, we're going to be there for you.
Here's why.
Enlist, single payer, affordable wage.
How about college tuition for everybody?
How about no more war?
How about we don't want your kids to come back in flag drape coffins or prosthetics or PTSD?
We want to be there for you.
I want your children to have drinkable water and a good education.
Nope.
They just come back.
So even a corporate reporter on MSNBC can go, wow, they really need to change stuff.
Even worse than that, Graham, here's a corporate Democrat, and even he's seeing some of the light.
And it happened on MSNBC.
Here's Chris Murphy from Connecticut.
You know, Senator Harold Ford was talking a little bit earlier about what Democrats need to do to win elections in states like Georgia and places across the South and the Midwest.
It's kind of reflective of the conversation we had after the presidential election back in November, which is that the progressive wing of the Democratic Party said, we need to be more progressive.
And we heard that last night and again this morning from groups like moveon.org.
The lesson was that John Osoff was too moderate.
Do you think running for office right now in this climate as a Democrat means you ought to be more progressive or more moderate?
Now, to me, that's a no-brainer, right?
Well, I don't know.
We just lost 1,000 seats with corporate Democrats across the country and we're wiped out.
70% of governorships we lost.
We lost the House.
We lost the Senate.
We lost the White House to a freaking game show host with the most qualified neoliberal corporatist candidate ever, who picked a right-winger as a vice president.
And the guy she had to cheat to beat in the primary was filling 70,000 people at stadiums.
I wonder what we should do.
The most popular politician in the country is Bernie Sanders.
80% approval inside the Democratic Party.
By far, the next politician that's even close to him is 30 points lower.
Should we get more conservative?
I don't know.
Willie Geis, not sure.
Willie Geis getting paid $10,000, $15,000, $20,000 a day to be not sure.
Well, you know what?
He is kind of sure about one thing.
He wants to call it a moderate running.
You know, that's also corporate speech.
That's right, a moderate.
Yeah, Hillary Clinton isn't a moderate.
Hillary Clinton was a fucking neoliberal, corporatist, warmongering, screwing workers.
That's who she was, a former Walmart board member.
That's who she was.
She exploded the black prison population, called them super predators.
She had racist policies.
She had corporatist policies.
She had anti-worker policies.
She has anti-black policies, anti-Hispanic policies.
She has anti-every fucking thing policy.
She's not a moderate.
Exactly right, Steph.
Those are not fucking moderates.
Those, hey, you know what?
I love what Kyle Kalinsky says.
If you're against free college and single-payer healthcare, maybe you're the radical.
She's a pro-choice right-winger.
That's it.
That's the only thing that her and the Democratic Party have got.
They've got, we're for gay marriage, and we're, and we're pro-choice.
And we're also pro-war and pro-banking and pro-screwing over the working people.
Yeah, yeah, pro-Never met a war we didn't like.
Yeah.
And they're not, that's a, yeah.
So here's here's Chris Murphy's answer.
This is, this surprised me that he said this.
I think what it means is the Democrats have to be hyper-focused on an economic message that tells people that the Republican Party is all about economic growth for millionaires and billionaires and the Democratic Party is about economic growth for everybody.
And I think Robert Costa is right.
The fact that we have spent so much time talking about Russia has, you know, has been a distraction from what should be the clear contrast between Democrats and the Trump agenda, which is on economics.
You know, when I'm back in Connecticut, I often get on a commuter bus and ride it for just an hour to talk to folks that frankly don't normally call my office or write my office.
And I'll just say they are never talking about issues like Russia.
They are not talking, frankly, about what's on cable news at night.
They are talking about the same things.
Wages.
They're talking about education.
They're talking about public safety.
And so I think Democrats have to be hyper-focused on an economic contrast.
And I think this.
Get that Kremlin puppet off the goddamn TV for the love of God.
I bet that guy's going to go have a plate of pasta Putinesca Dania, comrade.
Huh?
What do you think about that?
So finally, I was a year ahead of them.
Finally, the Democrats are coming around to, hey, maybe this Russia thing, this strategy of distracting everybody and talk about Russia isn't working.
Turns out hating Trump isn't going to win elections for us.
We thought it would.
We were wrong again.
How is it a nightclub jagoff fucking comedian has been right about this since for over a year?
And the Smarty Pants motherfuckers whose whole job it is to do this, it's not my job.
My job is to do dick jokes in a fucking nightclub to drunks.
This guy's wearing a $5,000 suit.
All his friends are millionaires.
This is all they do for every day 24-7 is politics.
And they're fine.
Hey, maybe, let's see.
We're completely wiped out as a party.
Maybe we should do something.
But you know what, Jimmy?
Even with him saying this, Senator Murphy saying that, you know, the Democrats have to work on getting their message out.
My problem is he didn't even say what the message was right now.
you're exactly 100% right.
He's only halfway there.
So his message is, we're still not Trump, but we got to talk about the economy more and how we're going to be better than Trump's economy.
Okay, how?
Programs, please.
$15 minimum wage.
Free college.
Green New Deal.
Solar and wind now cheaper than even fracking.
Solar and wind, cheaper than oil, cheaper than coal, cheaper than fracking.
Where's our Green New Deal?
Where's our vision in America?
Nothing.
Where's our re-regulating the banks?
Where are we going to break up the banks?
Where's that at?
No, nothing.
Where's the ending the wars and reinvesting that money in infrastructure?
No.
So he's halfway there.
He realizes that what they've been doing, he's admitting that the Russian thing is a distraction.
So that didn't come out of nowhere.
He knows that it's a distraction.
It's a fucking concocted distraction, and it was concocted by John Podesta in his goddamn Brooklyn office.
It was concocted, concocted, and it's fucking being promoted by the establishment media as Chomsky has taught us.
None of these motherfuckers read Chomsky, apparently.
None of them.
Nobody at the Washington Post or the New York Times or MSNBC or CNN.
Nobody's read manufacturing consent because they don't know that's what they're fucking doing every day.
They do know they're paid handsomely to do it, and that's why they do it.
And Chris Murphy and all the Democrats are also paid handsomely to not understand a problem.
So here's a guy only halfway understanding it.
Hey, maybe we should think of something else to talk about because Russia's not winning.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello.
Yeah, hello.
It's me, former Governor Rick Perry, Imperial Grand Wizard of the Department of Energy.
All right.
You know, there's a lot more to that phone call.
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We might be even having a new brand new website this week.
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I don't know.
I don't know if anybody else gives a care.
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It's what really keeps the show going, huh?
So that's it for this week.
Hey, guess what?
July 17th.
That's our next live show.
I mean, actually, July 15th.
We're in San Francisco, but that's already sold out.
But July 17th in Burbank, California, we have another show.
So go to, that's right.
Go to jimmydoorcomedy.com for tickets.
We'll see you there July 17th.
That's a Monday.
All right, we'll see you there.
All right, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying you'll be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not do nothing.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't come up to the phone.
Don't bring out.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't bring out.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, come up, Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not giving.
Don't freak out.
Don't you don't.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not getting it.
Not freak out.
Not freak out.
You are now now rocking with that anarchy.
Don't freak out.
Don't duck up the dust of the donkey.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving.
Do not, do not.
I'm not going to be not freaked out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
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