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March 4, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello.
Hi, Jimmy.
Rick Perry here, former honorable governor of the morbidly obese state of Texas, former inmate at the Travis County Justice Center, and current secretary of the Department of, let's see, there's Commerce, Education, and the...
The EPA?
Yeah, the EPA.
No, wait, seriously, not that one.
Is the Department of Energy the one you're talking about?
No, sir.
The one I'm going to head is, let's see.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
The Department of Energy, Rick.
Yes, we need to get rid of that department, too.
No, you're going to be Secretary of Energy.
Is that what you meant?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
And that's why I called.
Why?
Because it's my responsibility as Secretary of the Department of Energy to correct some of the misconceptions and tells that people have about what President Trump said in his address last night to the Department of Congress.
That's what the Secretary of Energy is doing now?
Sure.
Why not?
Okay, in his State of the Union or whatever, Trump said, according to the National Academy of Sciences, our current immigration system costs American taxpayers many billions of dollars a year.
And that's simply not true.
Yes, sir.
Well, it's slightly not true.
What he meant to say is that immigrants are the leading cause of cancer.
Now, don't get all hot under the collar, skateboard hippie.
He didn't mean the bad kind of cancer.
He meant to kind of survive for around five years.
If you do one of those GoFundMe things.
And you're Secretary of what now?
Oh, you think you're clever with your gotcha questions.
Let me tell you, our president is the least intolerant person.
There he is.
The president believes we should treat intolerance like a disease by ignoring it and letting it fester.
All right.
What else do you have, Rick?
Donald said he brought down the price of the F-35 jet fighter by hundreds of millions of dollars.
What he meant to say was that immigrants are the leading cause of cancer.
See the pattern here?
He also said 94 million Americans are out of the labor force.
PolitiFact or Snokes or Factcheck.com really ripped that figure apart.
So let me clarify.
He was also including the millions of Americans who are too scared to enter the workforce because of immigrants.
What are they scared of?
Losing their jobs to immigrants.
I mean, why even try to get a job when you know sooner or later some immigrants going to take your place in the soybean fields?
Probably give you cancer.
Anything else you want to clear up?
Yes.
The president was not reading from a teleprompter.
He always robotically turns to the right and left like that for dramatic emphasis.
He grew up that way.
Oops, I got another call coming in.
Looks like it's from the Department of Nergy, whatever that is.
Anyway, smell you later, Door.
We used to say that in college.
Smell you later.
Oh, well.
Whoops.
whoops music It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Wales.
And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
We got a great show for you.
Former President George W. Bush went on the Today's show with Matt Lauer, and Matt Lauer helped him forget all about the Iraq war.
Hey, Donald Trump uses the military widow as a prop, just like every other president.
And how does the military react?
A little differently than the journalists react.
The answer just may surprise you, or will it?
Michael Moore accidentally lets the truth slip out on MSNBC and quickly corrects himself.
Quickly.
He accidentally told the truth.
And you can't let that happen.
Hey, the DNC can't quit corporate cash either.
That's coming up on today's show.
Plus, we got phone calls from Mel Gibson.
St. Himbler, our alt-right caller, calls in.
Herman Kane, offended listener, calls in.
And Rick Perry, the new head of the Department of Rick Perry Energy, calls in.
That's plus a lot lot more.
That's the up.
Hey, we'll see you March 20th.
That's our next live show, March 20th.
It's a Monday night, 8 p.m. show.
They sell out.
Get your tickets at JimmyDoorComedy.com, March 20th, Burbank, California.
All right, now let's get to the Jimmy Doer show.
coming up right now.
you Hey, everybody.
I'm here with everybody.
Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Dave Reinitz is here with us.
Hello, fellas.
Hello, hello.
So this happened.
I was watching the CNNs, and actually, I was over at Mediaite, and they got this clip.
And it's about Oprah says he's contemplating running for the White House.
I guess apparently, you know, Trump, everybody else is like, oh, I guess I didn't know we could do this.
I guess we could just do that.
Hey, Ronald Reagan became president.
Anyway, listen to this.
This is about Chris Matthews.
Obviously, would come in with enormous advantages.
People like her.
Yeah, people like her, the money advantage.
She's an inspiring personality.
She comes in with a lot of positives into the campaign and obviously one of the world's biggest celebrities.
Can you imagine this Oprah running against Trump?
Did we wake up in a cartoon?
And these people are cheering it on, by the way.
This guy's cheering it out and Chris Matthews will like a cartoon.
We're going to have two talk show hosts or one talk show host and a reality star.
I think it'd be great if Ellen would challenge Oprah in the primary.
In the primary.
We both have to dance over a coffee table or something.
I hear you.
If she ran as a Democrat, she would face a Democratic primary where she would have to say, hey, I'm a billionaire.
But I get you.
I get the working class concerns.
I get you.
Oh, I know all the other Democrats are poor.
There's no rich people that have ever run there.
Her economic plan will be you get a car and you get a car and you get a car.
All signs are that that is going to be what this Democratic primary may be about, who can really connect with the working class and allow the Democratic Party to reclaim that mantle as the party of the working class.
I know.
Yeah, we can't get, we can't actually get a person who's from the working class to connect with the working class.
We have to get a billionaire who has the ability to connect with the working class.
Can we just get a person from the working class maybe?
Can we just do that?
Can we get rid of the Nancy Pelosis and her $100 million?
Is it possible?
Yeah, we have to, the Democrats have to find a billionaire that connects with the working people.
And I think they can do that with Oprah.
Here's what Chris Hardball says.
Politics and every lesson is about fixing the problem we have.
I think Oprah, not that she's a serious candidate because she doesn't want to be probably, is empathy.
Right now, we have a president who has no empathy for regular people and their problems.
He doesn't connect with pain.
He doesn't feel the pain of the people he makes fun of.
He has no empathy.
Oprah's strength.
I've watched her for decades.
She connects with women, whatever their ethnic background, whatever the gender is, she connects with people's real challenges in life.
That's what we need right now in this country, a little empathy.
That's what we need.
Chris Matthews, we need Oprah.
I just want to remind you who Ropra really is.
She hosts a talk show, which is a fine, fine talk show, and she talks about spirituality.
But she also talks about there's no problem that can't be fixed by looking inward.
And she doesn't talk about the systemic problems in the United States.
Like we have the richest country in the world and half the country's poor.
She'll tell you to look inward.
She'll tell you to attract, attract prosperity, all that.
She's not going to critique the system that has made her a billionaire.
And I mean, look at this.
This is from The Guardian.
Oprah Winfrey, one of the world's best neoliberal capitalist thinkers, neoliberal capitalist thinkers.
Oprah is appealing because her stories hide the role of political, economic, and social structures in our lives.
They make the American dream seem attainable, even though they're not anymore.
Hard work used to be, if you weren't successful in America, it's because you didn't work hard enough.
Now people are working two and three and four jobs.
We got Uber drivers taking one last ride on their way to the hospital to give birth.
Yeah, yeah.
She took one more ride in the middle of her delivery.
So that's what's going on in America.
And that's why they're wrong about Oprah.
And of course, is there any mainstream person that Chris Hartwald doesn't have it on for?
He loves every mainstream celebrity.
And I gave that Uber driver a one-star review, by the way.
Oh, did you?
Yes.
That's just mean, Jim.
Chris Matthews endorses Oprah.
Hey, at least we can look forward to the White House Book Club.
That'll be something new.
Yeah, we'll have a book club.
We just have to find the nicest billionaire possible.
I guess that's the goal now of political parties.
Find a really nice billionaire who connects.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
George Bush is selling a book.
He's out doing a book tour.
His book is honoring veterans.
That's like the captain of the Titanic writing a book honoring the people who drowned on his ship.
And then I don't get how veterans can stomach this guy.
We all know now what happened.
They lied us into a war.
They said Iraq was a threat to the United States, Iraq.
And we know that we all know, we know from General Wesley Clark that they were going into, had nothing to do with anything, that this was their idea to remake the Middle East.
The new Americans, prospect for a new American century.
We're going to spread democracy since we've mastered ours.
We've mastered ours.
We're going to bring, so they had a plan to invade Libya and Iraq and Syria and Afghanistan.
Remember all those countries that Wesley Clark, General Wesley Clark said?
They did it.
And it was a lie.
They didn't go there to keep us safe or weapons of mass destruction.
They lie.
And George Bush is not unique in that.
American governments lie all the time about war.
So the Gulf of the Vietnam War, that was a Democrat, lied.
And no one goes to prison for that.
George Bush lied us into a war.
They ordered torture to cover it up.
George W. Bush, he's going to talk about freedom of the press.
Here we go.
Even at the times where you were dealing with the worst criticism, where it must have been very difficult to hear and read some of the things that were being said by the press in this country, did you ever consider the media to be the enemy of the he had to read it in the newspaper?
He didn't have to read it in a court document, right?
Where he's being prosecuted for war crimes.
He didn't have to do that.
He has to read in a paper.
That's okay then.
I bet that stings a lot better.
That's a nice sting.
That's a good kind of tired when you read bad things about you in the newspaper instead of when you read bad things about you in a court document.
This is them bringing on George W. Bush who's saluting the soldiers who he's sent into a phony war to get killed and to kill other poor people for false pretenses.
I don't know if there's anything worse in the world you could possibly do.
That's literally killing babies.
Babies were killed.
Old people were killed.
Women, everybody was killed in that.
Conservative estimates, 600,000 Iraqis killed.
Well, I mean, according to Ben Carson, you could pass health care legislation that gives 22 million people health care.
But outside of that, I can't think of anything worse.
So, and now he's brought around like he's not a war criminal, like he didn't order torture, like he didn't lie to the American people, like he didn't do a disservice to the soldiers he's sent to an illegal war, phony.
This is crazy.
But they're asking him about the press.
You know, what I just do want to point out that it's interesting that it's a today show exclusive and that they title it President George W. Bush speaks.
Speaks out.
You know, seriously, typically when somebody's speaking out, it's because they've been, they finally have come to terms and they have to, they're finally going to seek justice.
That's kind of what I'm.
Like, he's not going to take it anymore.
I'm speaking out.
I'm finally saying something.
I was a really, really bad dude.
I'm sorry.
There's a reason why I can't travel internationally.
But it is good to know that Matt Lauer during this interview can look really distinguished.
Yeah.
I can really believe him now.
I would like if Matt asked him, hey, why can't you travel internationally anymore?
What do we hear about you being a war criminal?
What is this about you being a war criminal again?
American people.
I consider the media to be indispensable to democracy.
I mean, how are we supposed to invade Iraq unless we were able to manipulate the front page of the New York Times into printing lies about weapons of mass destruction that came right from Dick Cheney's lips and didn't end past no vetting?
So above the fold, front page, the New York Times.
I mean, they're indistinguishable.
We couldn't have had that war if it wasn't for CNN and the New York Times.
They're indistinguishable.
If it wasn't for the media.
I'm sorry, I keep saying indistinguishable.
They're indispensable.
That's what I meant to say.
They're indispensable.
That's indistinguishable.
Go ahead, sorry, Ron.
No, they're indispensable because if it wasn't for the media, who would we have faxed our talking points to?
There would have been nobody.
The facts just would have gone nowhere.
Who was going to print our lies about WMDs and that Iraq was a threat?
We need an independent media to hold people like me to account.
If the independent media held people like you to account, you'd be in jail.
You'd be in prison because you're a war criminal.
Well, actually, the independent media does hold him to account.
It's the corporate media that doesn't.
That's why he's not.
The independent media, you are right, Ron.
The independent media certainly holds them to account, but it's the corporate media that gives him a total pass.
Total.
Okay.
Power can be very addictive, and it can be corrosive.
And it's important for the and look at how a corroded mob brain.
Look at Dick Cheney.
Doesn't even have a heart anymore.
He corroded it right out.
Yeah.
That's like, you know how you take a tooth and you put it in a Coke Coca-Cola.
That's just like putting Dick Cheney's heart in the Oval Office.
That's what happened to it.
It's like when you hit an armadillo.
Yeah.
Middle of the road, dead.
Media to call to account people who abuse their power.
No, you guys weren't called to account.
Colin Powell went and lied to the UN.
Complete false facts.
Completely.
Nothing ever happened to him.
Nothing happened to you.
Nothing happened to Dick Cheney.
You guys ordered war crimes, literally, after an illegal war that you lied us into.
How many more times can I say this?
They were like the OG of alternative facts.
They were like, man, we were doing this before it was a job.
We pioneered this movement.
They're the ones who started preemptive war.
Remember, that was the Bush doctrine, preemptive war, preemptive.
Which means I invaded and killed you because I thought you were going to invade and kill me later.
You can't do that in your life.
You can't be walking down the street and just punch a guy.
What was that for?
You look like you're going to hit me later.
That's what he did.
Be here or elsewhere.
One of the things I spent a lot of time doing was trying to convince a person like Vladimir Putin, for example, to accept the notion of an independent press.
Right.
And he said, you know, if you're not going to have it in the United States, why would we have it in Russia?
And I was like, that's a good point.
That's a good point.
Have you talked to Rupert Vurdoch?
A real independent entrepreneur.
Real industry.
Running a nice small business.
Small businessman, mom and pop getting all the countries he has newspapers in to go to war.
It's kind of hard to tell others to have an independent free press when we're not willing to have one ourselves.
Oh, wait a second.
Oh, my God.
Oopsie.
Did the truth, the truth just slip seeoutsy?
It's hard to tell other people to have an independent media.
We don't have what the F. And Matt Lauer doesn't follow up on that, by the way.
He just keeps moving.
You mean he's not going to talk about Judith Miller?
I guess not.
They're just going to blame it on an acid flashback.
So that's that every time.
Wouldn't it be great if Matt said that?
Hey, if there was a media keeping you to account, you'd be in prison.
He'll never say that.
He'll never say that.
Mentioned Vladimir Putin so many questions about the contacts between Trump associates during the campaign.
So that's what he went to.
So he goes to that.
So he says, we don't have an independent media.
Here's a guy who's not part who's part of the corporate-bought media, ignores it, and this moves on.
He has to go, hey, wait a minute.
What do you mean by that?
He doesn't say any of that, right?
He just, let's move on to another fake news story.
I noticed you brought up Russia, which at this point is mentioned material for us.
And so let's go there.
George W. Bush on the free press.
It's almost really needed to hold politicians to account.
Because if we don't have a free press, you could have war criminals as your leaders that just walk scot-free.
So George Bush got interviewed by Matt Lauer and mr. $25 million a year, Matt Lauer.
Well, think about that.
I could have done the math.
If there's 52 weeks in a year, you get $25 million a year.
That's almost a half a million dollars a week.
He makes a lot of money.
And he still pretends that he's trying to do it.
So here he is, and he's going to ask George W. Bush about his reaction to Trump's inauguration speech.
And first of all, George Bush has a very weird laugh that I don't want to make too much out of, but I certainly do want to point out when it happens.
And here we go.
On a more general note, you sat at the inauguration, you listened to President Trump's inaugural address, and he talked about American carnage and the fact that so much had carnage.
American carnage.
So now it makes me think of Carney Asada.
Sounds like a movie with guns.
That's how I thought that.
The hacksaw carnage.
I don't know.
Do you think he's laughing because he was making fun of Trump's rhetoric?
Because, like, yeah, that's crazy for him to say American carnage.
Do you think that's what he was?
Because, you know, he doesn't ever see the American carnage, right?
George Bush, he never goes out from inside of his limousine.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm talking about.
Well, he served in the military, right?
Yes, George Bush did serve in the military.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
So let's see.
Gone wrong in this country and so much is wrong.
Is that the America you see when you travel around this?
Why would you be laughing?
What's the big smile?
This is all the wrong optics for this question.
Right?
He first he laughs, American carnage, and then he's talking about everything that's wrong in America.
Yeah.
Well, wasn't he?
He was singing and dancing at a funeral not too long ago.
Yeah, he was singing.
He was literally dancing at a funeral, literally on stage, literally goofing around.
His concept of place is a bit questionable.
Yeah.
So let's watch this.
Let's get a running start with this question.
On a more general note, you sat at the inauguration, you listened to President Trump's inaugural address, and he talked about American carnage and the fact that so much has gone wrong in this country and so much is wrong.
Is that the America you see when you travel around this country?
Well, the America I see often is the America that these vets represent, people willing to sacrifice for the greater good to put their lives on.
And me taking advantage of their willingness in a nefarious, illegal, and immoral way.
Like a good journalist, though, he didn't say traveling around the world.
Kept it domestic.
They asked him about, do you see the problems in the country that Trump talks about?
And he's like, no, that's really what he's saying.
No.
No, what I see is these veterans that are willing to sacrifice even after corporate America sticks it, like George Carlin said.
And that's, I don't, I don't see it.
I just see these veterans.
I got a kind of a view from my ivory tower.
So any second now, President Bush is going to say, that's why our military and their families deserve access to health care forever.
Is that what you want to speak out again?
Doesn't come up.
And then come back and make America a wonderful place to live.
And that's why I'm here.
I'm selling this book.
We asked him about it.
He asks him about the problem in America, and he goes, that's why I'm here.
I'm selling a book.
They named a library after me in Texas because we haven't gotten irony down there yet.
And his selling a book, a painting.
I paint.
I don't write.
I paint.
I paint my thoughts.
Rotten's hard.
Rotten's hard words.
I got to say the bigger failure in this interview would be Matt Lauer.
No doubt.
What a, I mean, and that's him pretending to do journalism.
That's not, he didn't do journalism.
Look at all the stupid.
He let go right past him.
He's interviewing a bona fide war criminal who started an illegal war that set the Middle East on fire.
And he doesn't even bring it up.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Hello.
It's me, Herman Kane.
Oh, hi, Herman.
How are you, buddy?
How you doing?
I'm doing great, Herman.
How are you doing?
I'm doing just fine.
Things are very well.
Why are you calling?
I'm confused about what?
Everything.
I turn on the news.
I don't even understand what the hell is going on.
I don't think you're alone on that, Herman.
I mean, specifically in the Republican Party.
The conservative movement that I used to be a part of.
I can't relate.
I know.
It's weird.
For example, I log onto my desktop computer and I see the following headline: Milo disinvited from CPAC over pedophilia comments.
Okay, I know what CPAC is, but beyond that, I find myself at a loss.
Jimmy?
Yes.
Can you help me?
Can you help me understand that sentence?
Yes, I can try.
Okay.
What is a Milo?
Oh, Milo Yiannopoulos is.
Milo Yiannopoulos.
He's a tech editor over at Breitbark.com.
I see.
What is a tech editor?
Nobody knows.
Curious indeed.
Okay.
Why was he disinvited from CPAC for condemning pedophilia?
He wasn't.
He wasn't disinvited.
What are you talking about?
No, he wasn't condemning pedophilia.
He was celebrating it.
Excuse me?
Well, Milo said that adult gay men and young boys have special homosexual relationships.
Oh, okay.
He's just criticizing the gay lifestyle.
I understand.
No, no, no, no.
Milo is gay.
Oh, come on.
Come on, Jimmy.
He's gay himself and says he engages in those relationships.
You watch your mouth.
And this dude.
This dude.
This dude is a conservative?
Yes, he's alt-right.
This mother got invited to CPAC in the first place?
Yes.
Conservatives love this guy.
My God, what is happening?
So, so what?
They found the secret recordings and then they fired him?
They weren't secret recordings.
He said them in a podcast, and then he went on Joe Rogan's podcast and said it.
Joe Rogan from News Radio.
News Radio.
Oh, my God, Jimmy.
Politics is too complicated.
I don't understand any of this.
I got into this whole politics thing because I was just a man who loved pizza and freedom and white women.
Turns out you have to be a gay child molester to make it to the top in the conservative game.
Dress like a peacock.
I guess my corn pony is just too country and conventional for the modern conservative movement.
I'm just going to slowly grab my old dusty hat and my umbrella and leave.
Herman, wait.
Herman, you can't leave.
The conservative movement still needs you.
It needs people with age and wisdom, horse sense, people who will actually do the disinviting of the Milos.
People to tell the young movement conservatives to not admire gay child rapists.
But rather, heterosexual serial adulterers.
That's right, Herman.
You're right, Jimmy.
You're right.
I'm not going anywhere.
We've got a lot of work to do.
I'm heading over to CPAC right now and make sure that Ann Coulter uses the women's room at gunpoint.
That's the spirit.
Herman Gain is back, baby.
What's your wife wearing, mother?
Jesus Christ.
We got a lot more great stuff coming up in the second half.
Jam-Pack Show.
And remember, if you miss any part of today's show, you can always get a podcast of the Jimmy Door show for free at iTunes Stitcher or JimmyDoorComedy.com.
We're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
This is the Jimmy Dore Show, originating from 90.7 FM KPFK Los Angeles and heard nationwide in the Pacifica Network.
Do not freak out!
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not free.
I freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't bring out Don't bring out I freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't bring out.
I will not bring you.
I'm not kidding.
Don't touch the temple.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't bring up.
Don't bring out.
Don't bring up.
Welcome back to the second half of this week's Jimmy Door show.
We got a lot coming up in the second half.
Let's get right to it.
Yellow.
Yellow.
Oh, is that how they greet you at Red Square, Kremlin puppy?
Wow, Mel Gibson, it's been a while since you last called.
What have you been doing?
You know, getting plastered, saying something horrible.
Running for my words.
Apologizing.
Drawing out.
Redeeming myself.
Getting plastered.
Saying something horrible.
Buying and selling real estate to usual.
Were you at the Oscars Sunday night?
Of course I was.
You didn't notice me?
Not really.
That's all part of the new me.
I'm not the guy I used to be.
The guy 10 years ago, I can't remember because I blacked out.
Now I'm just like any other guy with unlimited amounts of money.
No drama, Gibson.
So you stopped drinking?
Sure as shooting, Jimmy.
I only had eight double tequilas for breakfast.
That's progress.
Hey, what did you think of the mix-up with Warren Beatty announcing Best Picture?
Well, you know, I guess that's what we get for being in a business controlled by, you guessed it, the Jews.
You think that's why the mix-up happened?
Warren Beatty's Jewish?
Be's Jewish?
Wow, that explains everything.
No, he's not.
He was raised Baptist.
Like, that's better.
That's almost as bad as growing up Catholic.
Didn't you grow up Catholic, Mel?
See what I mean?
Look at me.
I'm one bad breakup away from a double homicide.
And those are my good points.
Mel, you got a bad pattern here.
You get drunk, you say horrible things, then you're apologetic, you disappear for a few years, and then you show up with a critically acclaimed film or something, and then it starts all over again.
You don't think that's a big problem?
Translation.
Everybody likes Zunderdog.
I grossed $175 million last year, you dumb whop.
Whoops.
What was that?
I donate to save the rainforest, and I helped foster kids and stuff.
Yeah, that's not what you said.
Hey, speaking of my art, I'm already signed to direct a sequel to Passion of the Christ called The Resurrection.
It's a little known story of Christ who had to redeem himself after he drank four pints of gin physics and offended a bunch of zero hittites.
That sounds like you, Mel.
Hey, give me a break.
Whoopi Goldberg and Jody Foss have spoken publicly in my defense.
I'm just a prankster.
And when I get drunk, I'm a drunk prankster who says really racist.
See the distinction here?
Look, that's not the real me.
I have a drinking problem, and the bottle makes me say things I don't mean.
So what were you drinking the night you were arrested?
Trade evicks.
The Jews control the banks like Rom.
No unsettling of the nerves, just a nice smooth drink.
Hey, you ever see a platypus eater, baby?
No, could that even happen?
Of course.
And it's going to be in part three of my passion of the Christ trilogy, the rapturing.
The rapture is more than just about the righteous getting sucked up to heaven.
It's also about demons crawling out at a plateau, seating an unbaptized baby.
I have to hang up now.
I feel a sudden urge to do something terrible.
Okay.
you *Mario plays* Hi, everybody.
I'm here with Jim Murray, Dave Ronnitz, and Ron Placone.
Hello, fellas.
Howdy, howdy.
So, everybody, we've made a big deal about the DNC election and that they chose the corporatists and now they want the progressives to unify.
No, how about you pick the progressive because you guys just lost?
In fact, the establishment Democrats are wiped out Coast to Coast.
And you know that.
You've heard me say it a million times.
They lost 69 out of 100 state houses.
They lost the Congress.
They lost the Senate.
They lost to the most unpopular politician in the history of the world, Donald Trump, who only had a 37% approval rating on the day he beat the Democrat.
And so one of the things Barack Obama did was he instituted a rule, no corporate lobby money.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz repealed it.
And the Democrats are like, hey, since we got it handed to us by trying to be just like Republicans by, you know, getting in bed with Wall Street and big business and the military-industrial complex and expanding two wars into seven.
We kind of turn into Republicans.
So maybe we should turn back into Democrats and let's say we don't take corporate money at the DNC.
Turns out DNC members voted down a corporate money ban.
That's what they did.
So that's even, I think that was probably worse than choosing Tom Perez.
So that's the donors.
They have a stranglehold on the Democratic Party and they're not letting go.
Remember, the establishment Democrats would rather lose to a Republican than let a progressive win.
That's not making that up.
Democratic National Committee members Saturday, this is last Saturday, voted down a resolution that would have reinstated former President Barack Obama's ban on corporate political action committee donations to the party.
Resolution 33, introduced by DNC Vice Chair Christine Pelosi.
She introduced it.
Look at that.
Huh?
Would also have forbidden, quote, registered federal corporate lobbyists from serving as DNC chair-appointed at-large members.
Sounds easy enough.
Hey, if you want to put a pretty face on the, hey, we're really making changes.
That seems like we could go back to what Barack Obama did.
That seems pretty easy.
And they can't even do that.
They can't even do that.
They won't even go back.
They just, they're wiped out.
They just lost to Donnie Tynehead, and they can't even go back to what Barack Obama did.
That's how corrupted they are.
That's how the gears are working.
It's because they're completely beholden to their donors.
That's who voted for Tom Perez.
Obama, as the party's presidential nominee in 2008, banned contributions from political action committees as well as from lobbyists.
Former DNC Debbie Wasserman Schultz quietly lifted the ban ahead of the 2016 election.
Bob Mulland, a DNC member from Chico, California, was one of the bill's most vocal opponents and helped lead a successful effort to table the resolution for further review on Friday.
So here's a guy, Bob Mohollen from Chico.
He wants corporate banana.
Ah, rig the lobby.
Bring those things we're supposed to be fighting.
Bring them in.
Bring them inside the tent.
Make us just like the people we're supposed to be opposing.
And then be shocked when you lose.
He argued that the ban would handicap Democrats at a time when they need all the resources they can muster.
Hey, guess what?
The Democrats weren't handicapped last time.
And they're wiped out.
So maybe taking that corporate lobbyist money is the handicap.
Do you ever think about that?
Because it skews your whole reason for being Hillary Clinton outspent Donnie Tynahan's two to one, and she lost.
This whole idea that the Democrats, and we talked about it when I interviewed Thomas Frank, listen, liberal, is that the Democrats, their whole reason for doing this corporate money, for Bill Clinton getting in bed with Wall Street, the military industrial complex and big pharma.
The whole reason Chuck Schumer said, screw the workers, the working class, the white worker.
We're going to pick up Republicans in the suburb.
That's our strategy.
The whole reason for doing that is that you're going to win.
The whole reason for getting in bed like the Republicans with Big Venus and Wall Street is because you're going to win.
But you're not winning.
This theory has been blown out of the water.
Money doesn't equal win.
The Democrats have been taking corporate money since 1992 and before, and they're getting their handed to them.
They lost to Donald Trump.
So this is, I can't believe people still say this stuff.
That's crazy.
But it's not crazy if you're a lobbyist or you want to be a lobbyist or you work for a corporation or you want to take the corporation money or someday you want to work there or you want to work in a think tank that takes the corporate money that wants to influence the DSA.
It's one big capitalistic gangbang and they're all taken part and that's what this is about.
Just a reminder that Republicans control all three branches of government right now, all three branches.
That's the guy who wants to keep taking corporate money.
That's his bit.
I just want to remind you.
I just want to remind you that you're able to take corporate money and you've lost.
Okay?
How stupid.
We do not have a president in the White House, Malholland said.
I'm not a member of Mother Teresa's sisters organization.
I'm a member of the Democratic Party and you're completely bought and sold by corporations, you dummy.
Why is he dragging Mother Teresa into this?
Yeah, I'm just going to say that.
So he's trying to say like, you guys are too pure.
That's what that is.
I don't belong to a purity organization.
I'm a politician trying to win.
You lost.
Your way of doing things lost.
You really should have thought that through, though.
I'm not part of a group that tries to help people.
I'm a Democrat.
Like, oh, that's...
Well put, Ron.
I'm not a part of an organization that helps people.
I'm a Democrat.
His words.
His words.
New York DNC member Stuart Applebaum, a co-sponsor of the resolution, insisted that it was crucial for voters to believe the DNC is accountable to them and not corporate interests.
It is crucial.
They don't think that.
This resolution provides us an important opportunity to send a message to the people of the country as to our values.
It is not something new.
We operated this way for seven years, Applebaum added, referring to the Obama-era ban.
It's not Resolution 33 appears to be narrower than the ban on contributions to lobbyists and PACs imposed by Obama, explicitly banning donations from only corporate PACs.
So this rule that they're proposing isn't even as broad as the one Barack Obama had implemented.
It's narrower than that.
And they still voted it down.
Because we'd rather lose to a Republican than win with a progressive.
We'd rather lose to a Republican than stop taking our Wall Street money.
We'd rather lose to a Republican than stop taking the big pharma money.
That's what this is.
This isn't about winning.
This is about keeping the corporate cash flow going.
And about winning, because you're losing doing that.
And they know they're losing and they're okay with that.
They're more okay with losing than they are with winning to a progressive.
Yeah, the whole thing's super upsetting.
It's just ridiculous.
It's just, it's like he keeps saying, I mean, they aren't Democrats.
They're just Republicans with a different name.
But it's so nice watching them all be besties.
I mean, come on.
That's unity for all of us to learn from.
I feel good.
I do.
I love it when Tom Perez and Keith Ellison go and do interviews together.
They need to get bracelets.
They should.
His chief opponent, former Labor Secretary Tom Perez, declined to say whether he supports the idea of such a ban.
So there you go.
And you wonder what's wrong with the Democrats?
You won't even take a stand.
You won't even take a stand?
One way or the other.
Just make a decision.
That's your job.
Your job is to make a decision.
Well, why do you think he won't make a stand?
Because his stand is obviously the wrong thing.
Correct.
Transparency.
That's his answer.
Yeah, that's their answer.
Transparency.
That's how they think they're going to fix everything with transparency.
So this is still more of the problem.
Hey, Democrats, what'd you learn?
We learned we need to keep taking corporate money and be just like the establishment, the thing that everyone hates.
That's what we learned.
Hey, on the phone, we have alt-right online provocateur and author of the ape brain, Saint Himmler.
It's Saint Himmler.
How are you?
I'm doing great, Jimmy.
Thanks for asking.
How's being a clock working out for you?
It's working out pretty well.
Thanks for asking.
Hey, first of all, tell us about this book of yours.
Well, the ape brain is basically about how we are essentially primates like apes.
And in order to be successful, we men need to be more like apes, aggressive and masculine and non-cucky.
We need to obliterate our adversaries online, envision beating people up while we're meditating, and be in fighting shape.
Due to the fitness regiment that I have created for this book personally, I am currently benching 375.
Wow, 375 pounds?
Well, 375 stand rang.
What's a stang ring?
A stang ring is a unit of measurement used by the ancient Sarmatians, a warrior race that the Romans would recruit for their legions.
Pretty, pretty tough sounding, isn't it?
But how many pounds?
Yeah, I know.
But how many pounds is in a stand ring?
Well, you'll just have to buy the book and find out.
But the point is.
Okay.
What?
What's the point?
Well, I work.
I hear old, old, cool stuff.
Yeah, listen, Saint Himmler.
Alt-right, Saint-Himmler.
What do you think of the Trump administration so far?
It's amazing.
I mean, look how pissed liberals and lefties are.
That should tell you right there how successful it is.
People being angry is a sign of success.
For the alt-right agenda, absolutely.
They're all running for cover because their deep state agenda is about to be exposed.
What do you mean by that?
All of this smoke screen around Russia and a so-called Russian interference.
They're using that as a pretense to hogtie the Trump administration, especially not just Jessica's, so they can't expose all the pedophile rings.
The what?
The Democrat Party pedophile race that I and others on the all-right have helped expose.
You mean Pizzagate?
You say that like it's not a real thing.
Yeah, it's not a real thing at all.
That there is a pizza joint in D.C. where Hillary Clinton ran a pedophile ring out of.
Yeah, that's not a real thing.
Oh, I see.
Despite all the evidence to the contrary, maybe you are also a pedo in addition to a cuck yourself.
So because I think Pizzagate's BS, I must myself be a pedophile.
Yeah.
Hello.
Welcome to how logic works.
Russia is actually our ally in providing leaks that expose how basically essentially all Democrats and liberals are pedophiles.
Why do you think Hollywood always supports gems?
Huge, huge pedos.
Huge pedos in Hollywood.
Always have.
Why do you think there are so many children in movies?
So that's why they're going after sessions.
He was going to expose all of this with documents.
It's just based on research that I did, by the way.
Okay.
And that's what the eight brain does.
It goes deep into thought and exposes truth in a deep state.
Is that so?
Yeah, and we are going to have a lot more exposés and pedo info and facts coming up on my blog and YouTube channel.
So I urge all of your listeners to jump subscribe.
What's your take on Milo?
My love who?
Ha!
you Donald Trump gave his speech.
He did that thing where he points to a soldier or a soldier's family who's been killed or maimed in a pointless war somewhere.
And it happened again in Yemen.
We've been bombing Yemen and cluster bombing them and using drones and what have you.
But this is we did Donnie Tanahan's called for boots on the ground in Operation.
So we had soldiers there, got killed.
We also killed like 30 civilians.
And an eight-year-old girl got shot in the neck.
That's the sister.
She's an American citizen.
Also, her brother was killed by Barack Obama when he was 16.
Targeted drone strike.
Now Trump comes around and shoots his sister in the neck, eight-year-old.
But the point of this, to show kind of how disgusting war propaganda goes, right?
So that guy lost his life.
A soldier lost his life in Yemen.
They ended up killing 30 civilians.
It's for nothing.
Fighting terrorism in Yemen to one of the poorest countries in the world.
We're there at the behest of Saudi Arabia.
Some of the most extreme, extreme theocracy.
We're propping it up, always have.
And we're in Yemen killing people at their behest.
So here's Donnie Tonahan.
We are blessed to be joined tonight by Corinne Owens, the widow of U.S. Navy special operator, senior chief William Ryan Owens.
Ryan died as he lived, a warrior and a hero, battling against terrorism and securing our nation.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Poor woman, I hate this.
She's being used as a prop for more war.
Just look at the pain that woman's in.
Her whole life is gone.
Her husband was killed for no reason in Yemen.
And then she gets invited to come.
And she's, I don't even know what is this supposed to do for us.
I know what this is supposed to do.
I'm sorry.
I know what this is supposed to do.
This is supposed to make us not question war because you have to respect the soldiers and look at their family.
Look at that woman's broken.
This is what we do to people.
And then we give them applause like this.
I'm saying respect this woman.
I'm saying respect her husband and their sacrifice.
I'm saying using them as props like this has got to stop.
We've got to stop doing this because this is freaking gross.
And instead of using her example for getting us out of, stop doing this stuff, they're using this.
Trump went on to propose $54 billion more spending on bombs and killing people.
Not on education, not on healthcare, not on roads and bridges, not for medicine, not to help the refugees we created.
No, 54, they go kill more people for no reason.
He made that comment about how we need to, quote, start winning wars again, too.
He added that part.
I mean, look at that woman.
I mean, she's shattered.
And everybody's making themselves feel good by applauding for her.
Shame on all those people.
Shame on all those people.
Instead of chanting, stop this murdering machine we have called a, what are we doing?
The war on terror, a war on terror.
So that means you never have to end it, which is what exactly it means.
Well, we say there's terror, and then we just go get it.
Instead of eight's individual situation being unique that we have to assess, we just go, oh, what are we in Yemen Terry?
Somalia, terror.
Syria, terror.
Libya, terror.
Afghanistan, terror.
What are we doing?
Rack terror.
And they're all applauding.
As if the people dying in the Mideast right now in America's name are actually doing it for us.
They're doing it for nothing.
They're doing it for oil.
They're doing it for money for the war profiteers.
That's what they're doing it for.
Her life is shed.
Her husband's gone.
And of course, the media, and the media says that they don't, they'll never say stop doing that.
Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Chris, Don Lemon, Jake Tapper.
Nobody will come out and say, stop doing that.
That's gross and that's exploitive.
And when are we going to stop these wars?
News people will never say that.
We've been in Afghanistan now 15 years.
That's like a generation.
That war is going to get retired soon.
A couple more years.
That war is going to get social security.
I'm watching the MSNBCs and they're talking about Trump with Michael Moore's, right?
So there he is.
Now, I'm a fan of Michael Moore.
I like the movies he does were fantastic.
I mean, the guy devoted himself to trying to make the world better through film.
How can, you know, he's not perfect.
I'm not perfect.
No one's perfect.
I have lots more.
I bet you have more flaws than he does.
So here he is with Chris Matthews.
He's on with Chris Hardball after Donny Tonahans gave his State of the Union.
And let's check in.
Listen, the media, let me just say this, has gotten better.
People have opened their eyes and they're listening.
I'm going to have to disagree with you on that.
You're going to have to disagree.
The media has not gotten better.
You're sitting there right there with one of the worst guys in the world, Chris Hardball, a guy who beat the drum for war the first time.
He got Phil Donahue fired because Phil was a little too loud for being against the war.
I feel like those two statements are just unrelated claims.
Like the media has gotten better.
Oh, really?
Okay.
People are paying attention.
Well, yeah, people are paying attention.
That doesn't necessarily mean the media has gotten better.
The media has gotten better.
Yeah.
So they're talking about Donnie Tonahanz and how we got him.
Listen, the media, let me just say this, has gotten better.
People have opened their eyes and they're listening.
They didn't listen to us.
We couldn't even get the Clinton campaign to listen to us.
Please send the candidate here.
Please come to Wisconsin.
Oh, Mike, be careful.
You're actually telling the truth about Hillary Clinton's failings and why we have Donald Trump.
You know, that's not allowed on MSNBC.
So I hope you stop this right away and correct yourself.
Please.
Come to Wisconsin for seven months.
Please do these things.
I don't listen.
I love Hillary.
Okay, okay, good.
Okay.
I love Hillary and I don't want to.
Okay.
Look, he almost, whoo, I don't know if he caught himself holding.
I'm telling the truth that Hillary was a horrible candidate and they did the stumbest things in the world and they turned their back on their base.
I'm actually telling the truth.
Oh, wait, wait a wait.
I love her.
She's great.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I lost my head.
People have opened their eyes and they are listening.
They didn't listen to us.
We couldn't even get the Clinton campaign to listen to us.
Please send the candidate here.
Please come to Wisconsin not to come to Wisconsin for seven months.
Please do these things.
I don't listen.
I love Hillary.
Woody Allies.
Look, I love Hillary.
Look, I mean, I'm not saying she did anything wrong.
What the F?
He caught himself.
He was being real.
And it's like weird to watch him and Bernie do the gaslighting when they talk about Hillary.
It's weird.
It's weird.
I know he doesn't think that about Hillary.
I know.
I know he knows better.
And I know that Bernie Sanders knew better.
And so it's weird to see them do that.
He'd be like, oh, God, I caught myself.
I don't listen.
I love Hillary.
Woody Allen was right.
Woody Allen was right.
The age of consent is bull.
Are you talking about something else?
Who are you talking about?
I'm sorry.
What?
You're talking about a flawed ground game?
That makes me think of Woody Allen.
It makes me think of Woody Allen.
Woody Allen quote to mine.
Got to show up.
You got to show up.
Woody Allen's right because Woody Allen's famous for that quote, 90% of life is just showing up.
It's more than just showing up.
It's more that when you show up, you have something for the people.
And we weren't important enough or we were taken for granted like, oh, we're blue states.
Don't worry about them.
And it just, I did my best to convince them to please come because you know what we lost by Michigan?
Three votes for precinct.
Three, three votes for precinct.
Susan Sarandon's fault.
I'm going to guess.
Whose fault is that?
Gary Johnson?
Yeah, because all those Gary Johnson voters definitely would have been for Hillary.
Yeah.
Of course.
If three Trump voters had voted for Hillary, she would have won Michigan.
I'm working on the book on Bobby Kennedy, and those people would have voted for Bobby Kennedy this year because he did.
Did you hear?
Did you hear what he's saying now?
I'm doing a book on Bobby Kennedy, and those people would have voted for Bobby Kennedy.
You think over Hillary Clinton, that's your choice?
You know, when given the choice between Michelle Bachman and Abraham Lincoln, people actually choose Abraham Lincoln.
When given the choice between Hillary Clinton and Bobby Kennedy, those people will vote for, yes, they'll vote for, given the choice between Bobby Kennedy and Trump, those people will vote for Bobby Kennedy?
Yeah, I think so.
That is amazing insight, Chris Hardball has.
Isn't that amazing?
Because he's doing a book on Bobby Kennedy right now, and he's saying those people in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania would have voted for Bobby Kennedy over Trump.
Oh, my God.
Give that guy $5 million a year.
$30,000 a day.
Hand it to him.
Not only was it brilliant insight, but he found a way to subtly plug his book.
Multitasting.
Somehow, some of the Democrats have lost that connection.
It's a mystery.
He doesn't know how.
And how do you think they did?
How do you think they did?
Well, I think it's because the ones that haven't are told to shut up.
I think that's why.
Oh, so the Democrats who still are in touch with the working class, the corporatist Democrats tell them to shut up.
You mean the Hillary Clinton wing would tell the people who actually have a connection with the working class.
They would tell them to shut up.
Okay.
That's what I'm going like.
Unity.
Shut up and be unified.
Yeah, yeah.
I love how Chris Matthew, it's just, again, he's completely has no idea what the problem.
Somehow, the Democrats lost touch.
Somehow, so you're not privy to what happened to the Democratic Party that Al Gore and Bill Clinton got in bed with the Koch brothers to start the DLC and then got in bed with Wall Street and then repealed the New Deal banking legislation while gutting welfare, passing NAFTA, screwing over unions and exploding the prison population while gut at the same time.
You don't understand.
You don't know that that happened, Chris?
That's the newsman paid millions of dollars.
Has no idea.
Nothing.
But Bobby Kennedy would have got those.
I'm doing a book on him.
He was a patriot.
That's the kind of insight you get on MSNBC.
A guy accidentally tells the truth and has to correct himself.
And the other guy is more out of touch than a dead guy.
All right.
This is Jimmy.
Okay, Jimmy, I just wanted to tell all your listeners.
You know, labeling me is a form of oppression.
I'm pretty sure that's not true.
Excuse me, mister.
I don't have a degree in identity studies from Hampshire College.
I'm pretty sure labeling me is reductive and ignores all the things that I am.
Hey, you and I both know that there's a lot more to our offended listener caller.
Our offended listener gets even more offended and a little creepy this week, actually.
I'm a little reluctant to drop this week's offended listener call because the offended listener call actually found a way to offend me.
Not kidding.
So anyway, how do you get the premium?
That's going to be in this week's premium, plus a lot more.
So go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
It's $5 a month.
I don't think anybody has a more affordable premium than that.
$5 a month, you get your, it's a great way to help support the show, plus you get access to all the extra stuff.
And we're going to be adding video premium coming soon, very soon.
Our website, I talk to our the thing and the guy and everything.
And we're going to be able to do things and have a members only part of our website.
That's the whole point.
That's what we really want to get to.
So we're getting there.
So go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on donate.
You become a premium member.
If you pay for the whole year at once, we give you a month free.
So instead of $5 a month, it's even less than $5 a month.
Isn't that something?
All right.
So thanks for being everybody who's a premium member.
It's a great way to help support the show.
Another great way is to come to our live shows.
So our live show next one is March 20th.
Well, we got one Saturday, March 4th, but that's been sold out for a while.
March 20th in Burbank.
We're going to go back into Burbank at Flappers Comedy Club.
So we'll see you March 20th.
That's right.
That's a Monday night, 8 p.m.
Okay.
Hey, guess what?
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuit, Ron Placone, Steph Zamarano, Jim Earle, and Paul Kozlowski.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
All right, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dore saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
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