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Oct. 15, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:15
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, it's Jeb Bush.
Oh, hey, Jeb, Exclamation Point.
How are you?
I mean, it's been a while since we've heard from you.
No kidding.
Yeah, it's Jeb Bush.
Right.
Yeah, I got it.
How you doing?
Oh, heck, not too shabby.
Did you see?
Did I see what, buddy?
Did you see what I did?
I don't know.
I don't think...
What?
I got that nidko-poop Trump.
No kidding.
What happened?
I tweeted about him.
You know that stuff he said?
That stuff that Donald Trump said about grabbing pussies and stuff?
Of course.
About how he could just grab pussies because he's Trump.
Did you hear that filth?
Yeah, of course I heard that.
Well, yeah.
Well, I showed him.
Do you know what I tweeted?
Carol, let me read it to you.
As the grandfather of two precious girls, I find that no apology can excuse away Donald Trump's reprehensible comments to grading women.
Boom.
Boom, Chakalaka.
Ain't that fatty?
It got picked up by Politico and everything.
I'm just over the moon here.
I really am.
Well, congratulations, Jeb.
And, you know, after all that humiliation he put me through during the primaries, all that down talking he did to me, all that mockery and mean-spirited jerk-headedness, I finally get my revenge.
I get to take the high road and point out to the world what a butt nugget this guy really is.
And right there on Twitter, too, where he thinks he's King Kong.
I beat him at his own game, Jimmy.
Booyah, cutshaw.
Jeb.
You know, I'm pretty sure lots of people were reprimanding him for those comments on that leak tape.
No offense, but you weren't the only person in there throwing jabs at him, buddy.
Well, cheese and crackers, Jimmy.
You really sure know how to let the air out of a fella's tires.
I was flying high there for a while, and you just brought me right back down to Earth again.
And Earth sucks.
I hate it here.
I'm sorry, Jeb.
Oh, well, no harm, no foul, I guess.
Hey, since I have you on the phone, I want to ask you about another aspect of this Trump story.
Shoot!
Well, Donald Trump's partner there in his locker room talk on that tape was none other than Access Hollywood host Billy Bush, who, I believe, is your cousin.
Oh, yeah?
I think, yeah, I'm not really sure.
You're not really sure if Billy Bush is your cousin?
Well, yeah, I mean, he is, but.
But you want to deny being related to him right now?
I get it.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not that.
It's just, you know, there's a lot of us, Bushes, and I'm not even exactly sure how he's related, to be honest with you.
I see.
Okay.
I mean, I'd see him occasionally up at the compound in Maine doing party drugs and hitting on women.
To be honest, he's basically the William Kennedy Smith of the Bush clan.
Wow, I get that.
Yeah.
Well, Dad wouldn't be steamed if he knew I was telling you this.
But yeah, he was a little midget firecracker of the family for a while.
He was always, you know, doing barbecues when no one was hungry.
You know, that guy.
He'd wear a nautical hat and call himself Captain Mickey Finn, you know, that sort of fellow.
Ah, yikes.
I remember one time we had Boutros Boutros Golly up at Kenny Bunkport.
It was really an informal state visit, actually, that kind of deal.
And just as mom was having tea served after lunch, Billy rode by on an ATV with no pants on, did a wheelie and yelled, that Jabroni's got two names.
He was hammered.
Oh, mom was pissed.
She marched right out there and hit him with a beach bag.
If I recall, he started crying and she made him go put his pants back on.
Anyway, he wasn't invited over much after that, if I recall correctly.
Really?
You don't say.
Yeah, honest engine.
But shortly after that, he ends up being a TV host of some Hollywood show.
We all had a hearty laugh about it.
Like, there it is, the old Bush luck.
Even little drunk dumb Billy has it.
Oh, life is funny.
Yeah, Jeb, that old Bush luck.
It's a barrel of laughs.
Where am I going to get some?
I don't know, Jeb, Exclamation Point.
Where am I going to get some luck?
This is bullhonking.
Fuck Trump.
I said it.
Fuck Trump!
Fuck Trump!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
And it's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's on stop here, T-Vale.
And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Oh, that was Mike McRae doing a Jeb Bush.
Who else does a Jeb Bush?
Nobody.
And who else is hilarious?
Well, they're extra nobody.
Mike McRae.
Okay, what's hey, I want to remind everybody this Monday we're doing another live Jimmy Dore show.
You know, October 17th at the Flappers in Burbank.
Come on out.
There's a link for tickets over at Jimmy DoorComedy.com.
Also, we just added another show coming up on November, November 5th.
We're going to be at the improv in Hollywood.
I'm Melrose and Crescent Heights.
So that's a Saturday.
Both shows are ate.
There's tickets and info and stuff over at JimmyDoorCopperty.com.
That's the Saturday before the election.
We're doing a show.
Raucous, that'll be a raucous show.
We should call that show the Jimmy Dore caucus so that we could say it's a raucous caucus because we love to say that.
Okay, hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Well, guess what?
Tavis Smiley's got a couple of words for the news media.
Oh, we need to hear them.
We're going to.
That we got WikiLeaks and the emails.
And what do they, they reveal some stuff.
Let's just say that.
That's coming up for the Bodesta emails.
Reveal some stuff about Hillary Clinton's campaign and how they think, you poo.
Plus, we're going to plus we also talk about Hillary Clinton has an idea on how to help the poor.
So that's maybe a little bit of good news.
So that's coming up also today.
And we got phone calls today.
Who's going to call in?
Chris Christie calls in.
Ryan Sprivas calls in.
Mike from St. Louis, you know, they had the debate down in St. Louis.
And Mike knows that guy, Ken Bone.
So he calls in.
Plus, we got a lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Doer show.
Acts of journalism against corporations.
By the way, they took their MRAPs out there with their tanks and their military gear like they're in the middle of Afghanistan.
They're really on a plane in North Dakota.
So anyway, we're going to meet you Monday.
This Monday, we're doing a live Jimmy Door show in Burbank at the Flappers Comedy Club.
So there's already, it's a pretty full show already.
I mean, as far as the audience, but if you wanted, we still have a link for tickets over at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Discounted tickets for the Jimmy Door show listener.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
That's this Monday, October 17th at 8 p.m. in Burbank at the Flappers Comedy Club.
We just added another show in November 5th.
So next month, November 5th, it's a Saturday.
It's the Saturday before the election.
We're doing another Jimmy Doer show in Hollywood at the improv, right?
So this Monday, October 17th, we're in Burbank at Flappers.
This Monday, October 17th, we're at Flappers in Burbank.
And then November 5th, we're going to be in Hollywood at the world famous Hollywood Improv.
These are live Jimmy Doer shows.
And if you've ever been to one, you know how much fun they are, okay?
So go to JimmyDoorComedy.com and there's a link for discounted tickets over there for all those shows.
Go check it out, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And we love meeting the Jimmy Door show listeners, the KPFK family, the Pacifica family, the anti-corporate family.
We love it.
So we'll see everybody Monday at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank.
And we'll see you again next month, November 5th.
That's a Saturday, November 5th at the improv in Hollywood.
These are 8 p.m. shows.
So go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, click on the links, get your tickets.
We'll see you then.
Now let's get to that.
Let's get on with today's show.
Let's get on with today's show.
So guess what?
Donnie Tinyhand's Trump got caught on the tape saying he wanted to grab women by the heat.
And so we've all been watching Donald Trump implode.
But if you remember, we were all upset as how the mainstream news media propped him up before.
We've shown you Les Moonves, the head of CBS, was cheering on Donald Trump.
And he was recorded at a meeting and he was saying, yeah, Donald Trump is bad for the country, but he's good for CBS profits.
And everyone laughed and applauded, even applauded.
We've watched as MSNBC has run Donald Trump's speeches.
They've given him an hour straight of time on their TV stations, unedited, unpaid for, and unfact-checked.
I've watched them let his kid talk too, unedited, unfact-checked.
And they're doing that because they think it makes money.
And they defended it too.
Chris Matthews defended.
I saw him defend them giving Trump free airtime.
So that's all you need to know about Chris Matthews.
Plus, if you need to know more, I've got videos.
So here's the thing.
Now, the media is trying to act like they're upset about Donald Trump.
Don't let them do that because they're the ones who propped him up.
CNN right now is still paying Trump's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, to be on their freaking network show at the same time that the Trump campaign was paying him.
You're not supposed to do that.
That's called paying someone for propaganda.
You're not supposed to do that.
That's not a news show.
I don't know what that is.
It's not news.
So Travis Smiley was on with our good friend Brian Williams, Brian Lyon, to puff up my record.
Lyon, Brian Williams, maybe we'd call him that, huh?
And, you know, it just flashed in my brain when he was at that hockey game with that war hero and he let them make all those lies about him.
Just so gross.
That stolen valor, that is a gross thing, stolen valor.
Yeah.
So here is Travis Smiley talking with Brian Lynn Brown.
What did I say, Travis?
It's Tavis.
He gets that a lot.
I bet he does.
It's Tavis Smiley.
Yeah, Tavis Frowny.
It's like Steph's name is Stephanie.
That's Stephanie.
She gets Stephanie quite a bit.
Certainly.
It's going to happen.
She doesn't correct people.
Yeah, it's not our fault.
His parents couldn't spell.
That's right.
Had bad penmanship on the form.
So here is Tavis smiling.
Here's what he had to say to Brian Tinyhand.
As I've listened to the conversations on all the networks and read all the papers over the last 24 hours, I'm getting sicker and sicker to my stomach.
I'm not just sick about the vile comments that Mr. Trump made over the weekend on that videotape that came out from 2005 or all the other sick comments he's made in this campaign.
Boy, this guy's super sick.
He's a little pepper.
He's a little pepped abyssball.
Ticken by his vile comments.
I'm sickened by the media that was complicit in helping to make Donald Trump.
Sick at the media who is complicit at helping make Donald Trump.
He's saying this right at MSNBC.
Of course, they let him do it at 11 o'clock at night.
So that was fun.
Almost universally, we were complicit, and now nearly universally, we want to condemn him.
I'm not buying this nonsense of now our condemning him.
We helped make this guy, and now we want to condemn him.
The media doesn't build you up and tear you down.
The media builds you up to tear you down.
And we are guilty of this.
And we can't just point the finger at Donald Trump.
Billy Bush, pardon my English, ain't the only one who ought to be in trouble for enabling Donald Trump.
I like how he's such a stickler for correct grammar that he apologizes for using ain't.
Pardon my English, ain't.
He literally just apologized for saying ain't.
I thought he's usually when you swear, you say that.
But that's what people who go, pardon my French.
It's just a way of emphasizing it.
Yeah.
He said ain't.
Right.
He didn't swear.
He gets a grade.
He has a teacher at home that gives him a grade every time he goes home.
A little report card.
Here we go.
I'm sick of Trump.
I'm sick of the media, our profession, quite frankly, Brian.
I say that with no pride, but I'm sick of us.
I'm sickened by the fact that this is not just bad for the Republican Party, but it's also bad for we progressives.
It's hard to push Hillary to be more progressive when she's running against a guy who's running a campaign of the absurd.
And speaking of the...
He's making great points left and right, which is why you hardly ever see him on mainstream TV.
He's always on PBS and pushed to the margins.
CNN will bring him on to ridicule him usually.
Right.
Him and Cornell West.
So the point that he made that was fantastic was that it's hard for progressives to put any pressure on Hillary Clinton when she's running against this guy who's a crazy person.
Like all she has to do is not be crazy.
She doesn't have to be progressive.
Believe me, you know she's not coming to get the left vote.
We've seen it.
We've talked about it a million times.
And that's what he's saying, That this guy even hurts progressives in a sense because now our candidate gets to go even further right because Donald Trump is a cartoon.
That's also a great point.
And speaking of those Republicans, I'm not buying this nonsense that they now oppose Donald Trump because of, again, his vile rhetoric.
They're concerned about their seats.
It's always about people trying to save their own hide.
They don't care about Donald Trump.
They care about their seats.
They helped make this guy.
This party helped create this guy.
And now that he's now dragging them down, they want to abandon him.
This is the same Donald Trump today that existed in 2005.
They didn't know that.
They didn't vet this guy.
They knew that.
They all knew what a creep he was and they didn't care because they thought it would hurt them to oppose him.
They got behind him.
They supported him.
They endorsed him.
They made him their candidate.
And now they want to run for him because they are in trouble.
There's a lot tonight to make us sick.
I repeat once again: Billy Bush, I don't condone what he did, but he's not the only one who ought to be in trouble tonight and being held accountable for enabling Donald Trump.
No one will be in trouble for enabling Donald Trump.
You know, the point was made before that, well, if Hillary Clinton's hanging around with war criminals like Negro Ponte and Kissinger, you really can't hold anybody accountable for supporting Donald Trump.
He's just an obnoxious predator.
War criminals are worse than that.
That would be the point.
And Tavis Miley is saying, no, I'm not going to let the Republicans distance themselves from them, and I'm not going to let the news media either.
It's the news media, you propped him up.
You were complicit in his ascension.
And now you're going to try to wash your hands of him?
That's what he's saying.
And he's not going to let them do that.
And he's not going to let the Republicans do it.
Unfortunately, they will all be able to distance themselves.
And because Tavis Miley doesn't hold power in our culture, so the people who do, the establishment will just go right on letting everybody off the hook.
Just like they still talk, even all the people who, like Hillary Clinton, was on board for the Iraq war, like she should be shunned from society.
She's not.
She's the party's nominee.
That's supposed to be a disqualifier when you give full-throated support to an illegal war that everyone knows is illegal.
That's supposed to be a disqualifier.
Now ignoring it is the progressive thing to do.
So good for Tavis.
I like that he did that.
I like that he did it on MSNBC.
Now you know why you hardly ever see him on MSNBC because he speaks the truth and he speaks truth to power.
That's uncomfortable for them.
Believe me, if he ever started to cost them money, we would never be back on.
And of course, they put him on with the safest guy in the world, Brian Williams, right?
He's not Tavis Miley saying this stuff to Brian Williams.
It's not like it doesn't, like he's not even hearing it.
Brian Williams is just okay at the top of the hour when we come back.
He's just having fun being on TV, Brian Williams.
He doesn't really care what he's saying.
Yeah, he just has that confident newscaster charm.
A confident rejoinder from a black guy up next.
Up next.
Doesn't matter.
I love in Europe, in England, they call them newsreaders.
That's right.
That's what we should call them here: newsreaders.
That's what they are.
They're newsreaders.
Here they're called casters because it's spells.
They're casting spells upon the people.
Is that from something?
No, I'm making crap up right now.
Casters.
I'm a bullshit caster.
Oh, I thought that was from like one of those books, J.K. Rowlings, right?
Sure.
Kids' books.
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter.
Yeah.
That's what propaganda is.
It's sort of influencing you in ways you don't realize you're being influenced.
So he's angry at the propaganda.
Get used to four more years of it.
So Republicans are distancing themselves from Donnie Tinyhand Trump, just like I said they would.
For instance, here's a guy from Utah gets Gary R. Herbert, Republican from Utah.
He's got a blue check, so you know he's important.
He says, Donald Trump's statements are beyond offensive and despicable.
While I cannot vote for Hillary Clinton, I will not vote for Trump.
Yeah, a little late.
By the way, when he demeaned our soldiers who were prisoners of war, that was okay.
When he called all Mexicans rapists and stuff, that wasn't when he said that Muslims cheered the thing and he had a video and he didn't and he completely lied about it, demeaning.
That was okay.
All that stuff he said about women and the Megyn Kelly and the bleeding and the face and people are ugly.
And Carly Fiorina's face is ugly.
You know, he raped his own wife.
He said he wanted to bang his own daughter, repeal it.
Come on, come on, come on.
Hey, he said pussy.
Oh, my God.
Because that's what this is.
People are trying to say, no, no, no.
It's because he revealed he's a predator.
We all knew.
He said he wanted to kill the families.
Of terrorists.
Yeah, that was okay.
I mean, war crimes are bad, but they're not enough to make me not endorse someone.
Said he wanted to torture.
Said he wanted to do way worse than waterboarding.
Yay!
He said pussy.
Come on.
Now people are trying to say, well, it's worse because he said he was a sexual predator.
He said he was a war criminal before.
No one gave a shit about that.
Guess who else is saying no to him?
Here's a guy.
It's Idaho Senator Mike Crapo.
What do you say, Crapo?
That's the best shot they had.
Who was up for re-election on Saturday.
He became the first sitting Republican senator to back away from Trump following the incendiary comments.
This is not a decision that I have reached lightly.
Really?
Yeah, I went down to his local priest guy or whatever and just sat with him.
What do I do?
What do I do, father?
He said P asterisk asterisk asterisk Y. But his pattern of behavior has left me.
His pattern?
Pattern.
Finally, now you're putting together this is a pattern.
But his pattern of behavior has left me no choice.
Fat shaming Miss Universe.
Yeah, mocking the disabled.
Mocking the disabled.
Like everything he does, maybe not the war criminal thing for my example, is something like if a six-year-old did it.
Yes.
You would have an intervention.
Like you would immediately come down with the full force of whatever punishment and discipline you have on them.
Because that's not something society tolerates.
But you know what I say to Mike, Senator Mike Crapo?
Or do you say Crapo?
I say you knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
I like the dance beat that's on that too.
Somebody put that together over at Lawrence O'Donnell.
Last word.
Oh, okay.
I would have guessed entertainment tonight.
But, you know, same thing.
Oh, here's the Speaker of the House.
Paul Ryan told Republicans Monday he will no longer defend Trump and will instead use the next 29 days to focus on preserving his party's hold on Congress.
Quote, The Speaker is going to spend the next month focused entirely on protecting our congressional majorities.
Ryan's spokeswoman, Ashley Strong, said in a statement.
And you know what I say to Paul Ryan?
Paul Ryan, who didn't have the guts to stand up to Donnie Trump when it mattered?
You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
That's right.
Kelly has another one.
Young lady.
Kelly I. Oh, her.
This is Kelly I. Soon after Crapo's announcement.
Crapo.
Crapo.
She also said she would not vote for Trump in August.
Ayotte had said that she would vote for Trump.
So as recently as August.
In August, she's still, I think this is the guy.
And she, right, a couple weeks ago was caught stalking.
saying that um she should children should aspire to be like donald trump yeah and she had to pull back on that right away now you know what i say to kelly i almost you knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
So these are people who are perfectly willing to go along with this slob of a human being, Donald Tiny Hands Trump.
They're super willing to sell out their own country because it would help them.
But now that it will hurt them, they scurry.
And the fact that news people talk to people like Kelly Ayat like they have dignity or any integrity.
These aren't good people.
Oh, guess who else?
John McCain, Arizona Senator and former Republican Party nominee John McCain, who is up for re-election, who supported Trump in the primary.
He said Trump's behavior, quote, makes it impossible to continue to offer even conditional support for his candidacy.
So we did a story about this already on this show about John McCain literally not distancing himself from Downy Tiny Hands in the primary.
And then people were predicting he is going to do it in the general.
And here he is doing it in a general.
And I said it before.
I said, it's amazing this guy has the toughness to stand up to the Vietnamese, but he doesn't have the courage to walk away from power.
Because that's when he's, oh, I'm afraid I might lose a little power.
Okay, I'll sell out my country and go along with a guy who shames veterans.
That's what he did.
And now he's saying it's too much.
Now he's not going to.
And you know what I say to John McCain?
You know what I say to John McCain?
You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
damn right.
Hello.
Jimmy.
Cover the Chris Christie here at your disposal.
Chris Christie.
Hey, thanks for calling.
Everybody's wondering after that apprentice video was released, are you still supporting Donald Trump?
Look, I'm stuck with the guy.
I ain't no snitch.
You follow me?
But aren't you offended by the horrible things he said about women in that video with Billy Bush?
Of course I am, Jimmy.
His untimely excretions were totally malappropriate.
That kind of abyssity, even within the privations of one-on-one habitation, is completely intolerant.
Have you been hanging out with Norm Crosby?
So you think he should have apologized more?
Absolutely.
I made that very clear to Donald O'Friday when this first came out and urged him to be concrete and apoplectic because that's what he needs to be.
Ah, okay.
Jimmy, I could tell you sceptical.
But if you knew Donald like I do, you know he respects the great protrusions females have given to society.
And you can't help but be in grasp of the totality of the affliction he showers upon his female enjoy dudes.
All right.
But if you feel that way, why didn't you attend the last debate?
I had important things to take care of in New Jersey.
What things?
Things.
Okay, so how are things in New Jersey?
I mean, I got to be honest with you.
The word word is you're reviled there.
You flatter me, Jimmy.
My fame is unparalleled in this state's history.
Fans literally fling themselves at my encumbrance with tenderness and affliction.
But I'm not here to brag.
I'm here to shine the irruminating power of truth upon the dark corianders of power for the butterment of the electorals.
Have you been hanging out with Don King?
I'm the king of cold reading, is what I fucking am.
Yeah.
But you're still hoping for a position in Trump's administration if he wins, right?
I've been promised the spot of Surgeon General, yes.
Please elucidate.
I cannot do that, but I will try to make things clearer.
You see, my desire is that every child, regardless of their weight or body mass insects, be allowed to achieve a proper education.
My intimate goal is to reach such a lofty pinnacle that everyone will experience the extreme rank of my suffocating tutelage.
I also want to assist any young prodigies out there by giving them a helping hand to premature matriculation if they so desire.
I see.
You're pretty busy in New Jersey.
That's right, Jimmy.
I'm so tired I can barely exultate.
But it's a good kind of diet.
I've reached an extreme state of dilation, particularly having the great honor of speaking to your extinguished audience today.
Well, thank you, Governor.
What the fuck was that?
I think my lap bed just broke.
I'm coming apart.
Shit's everywhere.
I gotta go.
Where the fuck are my traffic cones?
Oh no.
I know what you're saying.
You're saying, Jimmy, I'm loving this show so much.
And that Chris Christie call, plus the Jeb Busher.
And I know that there's a Reines Priebus coming around the corner.
And I'd like to somehow support the show.
Well, here's a great way to do it that doesn't cost you any money.
What?
Yeah, the next time you want to buy something on Amazon, use our Amazon link.
And that's great.
That's a great way to help.
Now, we don't encourage anybody to shop on Amazon, but we say if you're going to shop on Amazon, have some of that money go to a goods cause, like a progressive show like the Jimmy Dor show.
How do you do it?
Well, the next time you want to buy something from Amazon, swing over to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on our Amazon box.
It's right on the front page.
It takes you to Amazon.
When you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
Okay, that's it.
Thanks to everybody who does that.
It's a big help.
No kidding.
All right, now let's get on with the rest of the show.
All right.
What?
Hi, may I speak with Chairman Priebus, please?
Who?
Reince Priebus.
You mean a little parody, white boy?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Hold on.
Hey, skinny.
What?
Phone's for you, man.
Thanks.
Keep a quick asshole.
My baby girl is supposed to call.
Okay, Luther.
Hello?
Mr. Chairman, it's Jimmy Door.
Oh, hey, Jimmy.
Where are you?
Oh, they got me in this halfway house near RNC headquarters.
Yeah.
Why?
Well, they want me near the office in case it burns down for the insurance money or something.
No, I mean, why are you in a halfway house and not a hotel or an apartment?
I don't know, Jimmy.
I just do what they tell me at this point.
Hey, so I wanted to ask you about this whole thing with Paul Ryan.
Oh, God, Jimmy, when's it going to stop, man?
Well, I would assume on November 8th, right?
No.
That's the thing, man.
Ryan breaks ranks and now this thing is never going to end.
He could have just smiled and said, yeah, I still support Cat and Rapey.
But no, he had to stick by his principles.
So now on November 9th, they got to deal with the full-blown Civil War and the Republican Party between the vocal racists and the racists who'd like to keep it on the down low.
And Trump seems to be stirring it up with his supporters so they won't accept the results of this election.
Ah, yeah.
Well, that'd be great.
Bunch of angry white men with torches and pitchforks marching on a castle.
They're too stupid to find.
I'd be worried except their leader is Donald fucking Trump.
The guy who couldn't sell steaks.
Steaks, Jimmy.
They're delicious.
They sell themselves.
And he couldn't sell them.
But you've backed Trump completely since the convention.
That's what I thought you were supposed to do.
Party picks a nominee, and we all back him.
I mean, they did it for that Beaver Cleaver fucking horse shucks Romney guy.
Then when Priebus is the chairman, all the rules go out the window, don't they?
Hey, Priebus is in charge.
Let's nominate a flaming bag of shit.
At least regret it.
Yeah, laugh it up.
But you definitely seem to have chosen to side with Trump over Speaker Ryan.
Yeah, flip the coin and Trump won.
Either way, we're so fucked.
Goddamn, Ryan.
He couldn't have just done what McConnell did.
Yeah, where is Senator McConnell?
Oh, he's in hiding.
He got wind of the pussy tape and he was like, I'm out of here.
Probably holed up in some and Frank Annex somewhere so no one can ask him the question.
Smart.
Wish I thought of that.
It's so simple.
Hey, Skinny.
Oh, these are shower shoes because I'm going to wear them.
Do you have corn, sir?
Anything weird on your feet?
Are you saying I'm dirty over here?
Jimmy, I gotta go.
Okay, Ryan, thanks for talking.
Okay, Luther, it seems you're the guy I gotta fight to get some respect around here.
And it seems now is the time.
Let's do this thing.
Let's do this thing.
So WikiLeaks released the first 2,050 of over 50,000 emails from the Clinton campaign chairman, John Podesta.
Who's John Podesta?
John Podesta was the former chief of staff to Bill Clinton, and he was the presidential counselor to Barack Obama.
He is now chairman of Hillary Clinton's campaign.
Also, fun fact, John Podesta and his brother run the Podesta group.
Yeah.
What's the Podesta Group?
Well, it's one of the largest international lobbying firms in the world.
I like to say it like that.
They represent international interests from Eastern Europe to Egypt.
Podesta is ranked by his peers as the third most influential lobbyist in all of Washington, D.C. That's pretty powerful.
John Podesta is a walking and talking conflict of interest in human form.
When lobbyists are running Washington, that's how you know we live in a plutocracy.
These WikiLeaks emails give us a peek behind the curtain and we learn why they have a curtain.
In the links are transcripts of private speeches Hillary Clinton made to banks.
So these are all, there's stuff from her speeches to the bank.
Remember, we wanted to hear that stuff.
We wanted a transcript, so they're in here.
She made to banks like Deutsche Bank and Goldman Sachs.
We always knew that Hillary was in bed with Wall Street, but now we get to hear some of their pillow talk.
The best guide through what's wrong with American politics is Hillary Clinton herself.
So let's go.
We got a lot of emails to get through.
Let's go to get through some of them.
Here's one of them.
She says, you know, I mean, politics.
It's like sausages being made.
It is unsavory, and it always has been.
But we usually end up where we need to be.
But if everybody's watching, you know, all of the backroom discussions and the deals, you know, then people get a little nervous, to say the least.
So you need both a public and a private position.
What?
Yeah.
So eating too much sausage, and then the system goes into cardiac arrest.
That's, yeah, it's like making sausage.
You need both a public and private position, Hillary said in her speech.
Really?
No, I think we already have enough duplicitous politicians.
When someone openly admits that they are two-faced, I believe them.
So she's admitting to them, she's telling the richest people in the country who fund her campaigns and own the levers that pull the levers of government.
She's telling them, don't worry.
When I go out and give speeches telling them what I'm going to do, don't pay any attention.
That's the public, Hillary.
There's the private Hillary.
That's the one who's here with you now.
That's the real Hillary.
So listen to this one, not the stuff I say to the Lemmings.
Very nicely done.
So first, so right there, hey, when I'm talking to people, I'm lying.
When I'm talking to you, I'm not.
And you wonder why she can't get people to vote for her?
Because people see, they know she's full of it.
You hear she's admitting to the that she's duplicitists.
Oh, and she says it's a necessity.
And it's a necessity.
Isn't that weird that she's telling those people?
Like, why is it okay to tell those people, but it's not okay to tell other citizens that I have to have two positions?
That's wild.
Hey, guess who Hillary thinks is best to regulate Wall Street?
She says, there's nothing magic about regulations.
Too much is bad.
Too little is bad.
How do you get to the golden key?
How do you figure out what works?
And the people that know the industry better than anybody are the people who work in the industry.
But it's in everybody's interest that we have a better framework and not just for the United States, but for the entire world in which to operate and trade.
So that's who she thinks should be right.
She that you will tell us how the people we give all this free money to, and the people who crashed our economy, you tell us how to better regulate.
We already did listen to them.
And we deregulated Wall Street and they crashed the economy within a decade while stuffing their pockets with millions and billions of dollars of taxpayer money while crashing and cutting people's pensions and kicking people out of their houses and people's jobs being lost.
They got filthy rich because they knew you would bail them out because it was their idea to do this in the first place.
And Hillary Clinton says, I want you guys to keep regulating.
You guys figure this out.
You guys know it better than anybody.
And the banking industry, she's saying that those regulations can be too much or too little.
They get to regulate.
And the golden rule was she went and told them, knock it off.
So that was her kind of way of going in between too much regulation.
Knock it off.
She says, when I was a senator from New York, I represented and worked with so many talented, principled people who made their living in finance.
Even though I represented them and did all I could to make sure they continued to prosper.
Why do politicians like Hillary Clinton represent her donors and not her voters?
I did everything I could make sure those Wall Street people prospered.
I did everything I could.
You're supposed to be making sure that the voters are prospering.
That's her admitting she's doing everything I can for my donors.
Okay, move on.
Here's the next one.
She says, secondly, running for office in our country takes a lot of money.
And candidates have to go out and raise it.
New Yorker is probably the leading site for contributions for funding for candidates on both sides of the aisle.
And it's also our economic center.
Just so you know, Hillary Clinton alone made $22 million in speeches.
And that doesn't include what Bill brings in.
And what does all that money do?
Well, let's take a look what that money does.
I do think there is a growing sense of anxiety and even anger in the country over the feeling that the game is rigged.
Hillary Clinton says, you know, Hillary Clinton says, you know, you know, you know, fortunes that my husband and I now enjoy.
So there's a growing, she says, there's a growing sense of anxiety and even anger in the country over the feeling that the game is rigged.
And I obviously I'm far removed from that.
Because we're all rich now because of you guys.
Thanks.
But she does say, but I haven't forgotten it.
She does say that.
So what she's saying is she's she's admitting she's out of touch.
And that's her appeal to wealthy establishment players.
Hillary did her part during the economic collapse.
You ready?
Here she goes.
She says, that was one of the reasons that I started traveling in February of 09.
So people could, you know, literally yell at me.
For the United States and our banking system causing this everywhere.
So she was saying, I'm going to go out and be the I'll take the bullet for you guys.
Thanks for the 22 million and all the money you gave the bill.
I'm going to go out, travel the world so people can yell at me.
I'm going to take the barbs for you and the banking system that screwed up the entire world.
I'll take it.
That's what she's saying.
And I think that there's a lot that could have been avoided in terms of both both misunderstanding and really politicizing what happened.
So she's saying that she's that we could have did more because people misinterpreted and politicized what happened during the Wall Street crashing of the world economy.
That's what she's saying.
She's saying that it was politicized and people were misinformed.
No, people weren't misinformed.
That's not a misinformation.
People were didn't unfairly blame Wall Street.
That's what she's saying to them.
And she says again, but you guys help us figure it out and let's make sure what we do is right this time.
Sure, Hillary, give piles of money to gambling addicts and then put the addicts in charge of regulation.
That sounds like a winning policy, doesn't it?
That's what she's saying.
You guys help us get it right this time.
You know, you guys have screwed everything up and you're still doing it.
Still, still running bubbles, inventing bubbles.
bubbles committing fraud anything to boost their stock up so they could cash out because they don't ever go to jail look what wells fargo just did and they fired 5,000 people because they're committing fraud on their own customers so she goes on she says you know you go to Washington right but you know part of the problem with the political situation too is that there is there is such a bias against people who have led successful and or complicated lives.
Successful people.
She's talking, well, oh, there's such a bias towards you guys because your lives are so successful and it's so complicated.
So complicated.
You know how you get free money from the government and then lend it back out at unbelievable rates?
You know that?
You know how you get money at zero interest from the government?
What?
You know how complicated that is?
And she's saying this at Goldman Sachs Builders and Innovators Summit.
Yeah.
Look how they're innovators with our money.
Corporate welfare.
So the wealthy, they leave conflict.
They're very complicated, the wealthy.
Pity their complicated lives.
Pity the lives of wealthy politicians who shouldn't be made to divest from financial conflicts of interest.
So here, let's go.
Let's go on.
They're just too inspired.
You know, the divestment of assets, the stripping of all kinds of positions, the sale of stocks.
It just becomes very onerous and unnecessary.
You know, when you have conflicts of interest, that's what she's saying.
All this stuff, people with their conflict.
Don't worry, though.
Hillary's always looking out for the workers.
Let's go to the next one.
She says, there is so much more we can do.
There is a lot of low-hanging fruit, but businesses on both sides have to make it a priority.
And it's not for governments to do, but governments can either make it easy or make it hard.
And we have to resist protectionism.
Other kinds of barriers to market access and to trade.
And I would like to see this get much more attention and be not just a policy for a year under president X or president Y, but a consistent one.
So what she just said there is that we have to make it hard and we have to resist protectionism and other kinds of barriers to market access and to trade.
What does she mean?
We have to fight hard and resist protectionism.
Protectionism means protecting domestic workers and industry in the United States from unfair foreign competition.
You know, like outsourcing tax havens and skirting local regulations.
We take good jobs, turn them into shitty jobs, and then we send them to poor, more desperate people.
That's what that's what she's talking about.
We got to make sure we the people who want to stop that.
We have to fight that hard, she's saying.
Here's the last one.
She says, Hillary Clinton said her dream is a hemispheric common market with open trade and open borders sometime in the future with energy that is as green and sustainable as we can get.
Powering growth and opportunity for every person in the hemisphere.
The Clintons are economic globalists.
They are for open trade and water.
one world order market the problem With that is markets are created by and created for the 1%.
And with that, you get NAFTA, you get the Trans-Pacific Trade Partnership, that's the TPP, and the Transatlantic Trade Investment Partnership.
What it means is more inequality.
It means more out-of-control government by money, and it means more climate change, and it means more oligarchy.
www.fema.org Hey, so Wikileaks has been releasing all the John Podesta emails.
Now, he's the campaign chairman for Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Jordan Cheriton doing great work on this.
He's a reporter for the Young Turks.
You should follow him.
He does great work.
So this is, he says, email shows Hillary Clinton camp working to spin bankruptcy bill vote after she exaggerated pressure from women's groups.
Now, you remember we played on this show, Elizabeth Warren was talking with Bill Moyers.
Elizabeth Warren was talking about the pressure of money on Hillary Clinton, how she was against a bankruptcy bill until she became a senator, and then she switched and she was for the bankruptcy bill, meaning screwing over people who are trying to regular people who want to declare bankruptcies.
She screwed them over.
And there was that videotape of Elizabeth Warren saying, well, she's got a lot of different money influences pressuring her when she's a senator that she didn't have before.
So Hillary Clinton then came out and said, well, the reason I did that was because I was being pressured by women's groups.
That's what she said.
And then according to this email, women's groups, we cannot put something out proactive here because the record just isn't good.
But if called, Judy and Marcia are also prepared to say that Hillary fought really hard for changes, was with the other women senators, and committed to keep working with them to strengthen the bill.
Here are the statements that they put out in 2001 that don't help us.
They're saying that what Hillary Clinton said that women's groups were pressuring her was wrong because there's no evidence of that.
So we can't say that.
She overstated that.
That's what they're saying.
So who is the Marcia and the Jews?
So the aides, the aides on this email chain, after it was concluded that there's no evidence to support the fact that Hillary was pressured by women's groups to support that bankruptcy bill, the aides on the email chain then rushed to reach the chiefs of staff for Senator Barbara Mikulski and Patty Murray and Barbara Boxer to get the trio of senators to issue supportive statements on voting for the bankruptcy bill.
So that's what they're trying to do.
That's what all the data called prepared to say that Hillary.
So they're trying to get other senators to say good things about other women.
So they reached out to three women senators to get them to say nice things about that bill and about Hillary Clinton fighting for women.
It's a reminder that she didn't.
That's it.
That's also interesting.
And it's a reminder that people always like, well, what about the, do you have any corruption, any quid pro quo?
Well, that was as close as we got to it, that Hillary Clinton was against that bankruptcy bill and then she voted for it because she became a senator and then all her donors said to do it and so she did it ah thank god for wikileaks they're really interesting and informative and eye-opening now remember what happened wikileaks didn't hack into uh john podesta's email someone else did and then gave him this information very much like the pentagon papers
When Daniel Ellsberg gave the Pentagon Papers to the New York Times that printed the Pentagon Papers.
New York Times did.
So Washington Post didn't hack in, didn't do anything, didn't break in anywhere.
It was the...
It was whoever the hack was.
It was whoever the hack, right?
Right.
Which is legal.
Which...
I mean, it's legal to publish.
To publish.
Yeah.
It's legal to publish, right?
It's firmly, the Supreme Court's very clear on that.
As long as you engage in a conspiracy to get that information, you're on firm legal ground.
That's the problem.
That's why they're trying to get Julian Assange.
They're trying to say that he colluded with Chelsea Manning and instigated him to get those documents, which he didn't.
And so that's what they're going to charge him with.
And that's why he won't...
He has to live in an Ecuadorian embassy because they're going to put him in jail.
That's what they do.
If you commit war crimes, they give you a center.
The John Hopkins University names a center after you like they did Henry Kissinger.
If you expose war crimes, they put you in jail, military jail forever, like they did Chelsea Manning.
So if you expose corruption, that's bad.
Again, we're a nation of adult children of alcoholics.
We don't get mad at the people committing the crimes.
We punish the people who expose the crimes that our government is committing.
Why do I bring all this up?
Christopher Hayes over at MSNBC.
I'm following him.
He has a blue check by his name.
He's important.
I just want to be able to afford one of his suits.
Those suits look good.
They look...
That's why people wear nice suits.
That's why they spend six grand on a suit, because they look fantastic.
And that's what the real liberal journalists...
Anyway, if someone was going around breaking into the DNC and Podesta's office, I feel like we'd all be more alarmed.
Yet, no one is.
What the mainstream establishment press has been doing with the WikiLeaks is trying to discredit them.
They've been doing lots of crazy stuff, saying, oh, first of all, they're from Russia.
Oh, Russia, they try to make the story about the hacker instead of the story about what's in it.
That would be like if when the Pentagon Papers were published, we all talked about who got them instead of what was in them.
When he says that, again, this is more of this...
I don't know what this is, but what it made me tweet back at him was, if Nixon was breaking into the DNC, then yes.
If you are breaking into offices and revealing crimes of those running the surveillance state, then no.
No.
And again, it's not WikiLeaks doing the hacking.
They, by the way, are an award-winning news organization.
They're performing the function that the New York Times is supposed to, but they don't anymore.
What does the New York Times do?
The New York Times prints lies into a run-up to war.
The New York Times beat the drum for war.
They didn't do what they were supposed to do, shoot down the arguments for war and expose malfeasance inside our government.
What they did was they had Judith Miller be a stenographer for Dick Cheney, and then they put that right on their front page without fact-checking it, without anything.
And what they were doing was they were cheering.
They were doing what the government wanted them to do.
And that's why the New York Times is really...
Everything you read in there, you should be suspect of.
They're not really quality anymore, right?
They print a lot of quality stuff, but they're also horrible at the same time.
So...
I think that's true of any news organization at this point.
You should be...
Yes.
No, definitely.
triple checking things because a lot of times they're just picking up one another's stories and not checking them too so so this is even even if like even if you read something and it's both in the guardian and in the washington post you should probably check it for something else because it's entirely possible the washington post just picked it up from the guardian or yes like well like for instance But that shouldn't happen with the New York Times, right?
Why?
Because they're all highly paid and they have staffs.
And that's all they do all day.
Why?
It's not like the story has got us into war, Jimmy.
Right.
And by the way, who did they fire?
They fired Chris Hedges, the New York Times.
Why?
Because they said he was too partisan when he was telling the truth about the war.
They fired him.
Said he was too partisan.
Their Pulitzer Prize-winning war reporter was telling people the truth about the war in the United States, and that's too partisan.
You know what's not too partisan?
Printing lies that aid us to go into war on the front page of the New York Times.
That's not too partisan.
I don't know exactly what my friend Chrissy Hayes was trying to say there, but it ain't good, whatever that is.
We're supposed to be alarmed that people are exposing the corrupt criminals running our government.
Really?
No, sorry.
Sorry, $6 million man.
Sorry.
Sorry.
But you know what MSNBC is doing?
A disservice to America on almost a daily basis.
You know that, right?
Yes.
Where is Phil Donahue, by the way?
And what happened to Ed Schultz?
Can't wait for your big takedown of Comcast and their TPP support.
*Bell rings*
Hello.
Hello.
I'm returning a call from Mike in St. Louis.
Oh, hey, is this Shibi Dark?
Hey.
Hey, Mike.
How are you doing?
Hey, how are you?
You know what?
Couldn't be better.
I just wanted to know.
Did you see the debate?
Well, yeah, I saw the debate.
I called and left you a message about it.
Most important feature of it.
Ken Bone guy, you know that guy?
Yeah, Ken Bone.
Yeah, that guy who asked the question.
He's a goddamn hero now, but I know him personally.
He's from Dead Debate was here in St. Louis.
It was you, right?
Yeah.
I'm watching it on TV like everyone else.
Here's fucking Ken Bone.
I know him.
That son of a bitch.
He owes me money.
Here's the story.
Look, okay, so he lives, I think he lives up in Maryland Heights, all right?
But his sister lives down here in Shrewsbury, about half a mile from where we live.
Uh-huh.
So anyway, last spring, there was an accident over at my place.
You know, my lawnmower got destroyed because what a tree fell on it.
You know, the chassis was destroyed, but the motor was fine.
But I was just going to cut my losses and get a new one.
But the motor was good.
You know, a single-stroke lawnmower motor there.
And my wife knows his sister.
And he was looking to.
So hey, long story short, this fucker comes over.
Okay.
You and I both know that there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time to get to it right now in the podcast.
That's in the premium.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
That's why we offer a premium.
And we always have a phone call or two in the premium.
We do a podcast form, hour long or more.
We talk and we talk about things.
So it's a great way to help support the show.
What does it cost, Jimmy?
Is it a lot of money?
It's less than a nickel a day.
It's $5 a month.
If you pay for the whole year at once, we give you a month free.
So it's even less than $5 a month.
Come on now.
Come on.
And so that's a good salespitch, Jimmy.
Tell people, come on.
Anyway, so thanks to everybody who's a premium member.
He really does help support the show.
And also, please help out Sean James.
Next time you have something wrong with Yerka McIntosh, he'll fix it for you over the internet.
That's right.
He fixes mine.
And you can get a hold of him.
You send him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
He'll take care of you.
Okay, so guess what?
That's it for this week.
That's it.
I want to remind everybody, October 17th, that's Monday, 8 p.m. at Flappers in Burbank.
We'll see you there also November 5th.
That's a Saturday, Saturday at 8 p.m., Hollywood Improv.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
We're going to be at the, we're going to be at the improv lab.
It's going to be intimate.
And I don't even know who's going to be on that show.
You know who's going to be on Monday show?
Eddie Pepitone will be there.
He's so goddamn funny.
He was on the last live show we did for the Burbank Comedy Festival.
And, you know, of course, so we're going to have him back.
Plus, because, you know, he was a burner and now he's a Steiner.
So it's nice to have comedians.
You know, you can get anywhere in the world.
You can get the other point of view.
Anywhere in the world, you're going to get the, yeah, but you have to because of this.
And hey, anywhere in the world, we're offering an alternative point of view.
And so I kind of take a little bit of pride in that.
So Eddie Pepito is going to be with Laura Keitlinger, who does Hillary Clinton, will also be on that show.
Huh?
Check that out.
Talk, you talk, tell me about it.
All right.
So we'll see you then on Monday.
And then on Saturday, November 5th, we don't know who's going to be on that show yet.
I'll let you know.
Okay.
By the way, links for all those shows for tickets for those shows over at JimmyDoorComedies.com.
All right.
That's it for this week.
Until now.
Oh, today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Jim Earl, Frank Conniff, Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Samurano, and Robert Yasamura.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Doris saying you'll be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out!
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not in it.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not in it.
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