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Aug. 6, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Hey, come see a live taping of the Jimmy Dore show at Flappers Comedy Club during the Burbank Comedy Festival.
That's August 14th through 20th.
Come get some food, laughs, and a room because hotel rooms are right around the corner.
Sponsored by Downtown Burbank Partnership.
Then visit Burbank.
Burbank.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
And now here's a future obituary of a person who isn't dead yet by Jim Earle.
Roger Ailes, sexual consultant.
Roger Ailes, the half-sentient, fat pyramid who's fetished for garter belts, locked office doors, and exposing his red raw hamburger meat to horrified employees, led to a rewarding $40 million golden parachute as head of Fox News, is dead of shame after learning Steve Doocy Megan Kelly without his permission.
Born in the Cretaceous era, Roger Ailes grew up in the small factory town of Warren, Ohio, where the ambitious youth hoped to one day follow in the footsteps of his abusive father.
As a boy, he was often hospitalized for what doctors first thought was hemophilia.
They later determined the real cause was that his blood was just too creeped out to stay inside him.
Ailes is credited with the orchestra pit theory of sensationalist television, which he summed up thusly.
You have two guys on a stage, and one guy says, I have a solution to the Middle East problem.
And the other guy falls in the orchestra pit.
Who do you think is going to be on the evening news?
And who do you think will get to extort blows in underage months?
Ailes' resignation at Fox came within days of Debbie Wasserman Schultz stepping down as DNC chairwoman, which begs the question, have you ever seen these two people together?
Earlier this month, former Fox and Friends star Gretchen Carlson filed a harassment suit against Ailes, charging him with fostering an atmosphere that made Carlson a, quote, blonde female prop.
The charge was particularly damning until somebody found the phrase blonde female prop in the goals section of her LinkedIn page.
In response, Ailes called Carlson's suit, quote, retaliatory for the network's decision not to renew her contract after she refused to me.
Ailes wasn't just a powerhouse media consultant and television executive, however.
He also had a sensitive side and liked to experiment with poetry.
One favorite was this gym he'd regularly recite to the delight of new interns.
You know, if you want to play with the big boys, you have to lay with the big boys.
Mike drop.
Dedicated to his beloved business until the very end, Ailes' last words of wisdom were reserved for his nurse.
If you want to make it in the TV business, you're going to have to and you're going to have to when I now fetch my diaper.
Burial arrangements haven't been made yet because Ailes had to fire his undertaker for refusing to f*** his dead body.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for blackbeast.
The kind of people that are comments maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to K Dalgi.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
I am joined in the studio.
Former writer for the daily show.
He's an Ebby and Peabody Award-winning writer.
It's Jim Earl's here.
Hi, Jim.
Hey, thanks a lot, Jimmy.
You know, thank you for helping me brand my content.
Sure.
I don't know what that means, but we're helping you brand your content.
Also with us, hilarious comedian Hank Thompson.
Hi, Hank.
Hey, Jimmy.
You know, this week Donald Trump got a purple heart, but I wish someone would give him a purple nurple.
I don't know what a nurple is, but I like it.
Also with us is Arno Bulbobul Bulborian.
Hey, Arno.
That's correct.
Also, let's get to the jokes before we get to the joke, shall we?
You know, Trump is turning out to be too much for the GOP.
He really is.
They just want a quiet, unassuming racist who will end reproductive rights and block Obamacare.
That's all they want.
A quiet, unassuming racist.
You know, when Trump watched Saving Priant Ryan, you know, he did.
He saw Private Ryan.
When Trump watched Saving Private Ryan, it bugged him that when they told the mom her sons were dead, they didn't insult her.
It bugged Trump.
He's insensitive, the man.
He is a bit insensitive.
You know, if he says one more insensitive, uncaring sociopathic thing, he gets a free one.
That's Trump.
Trump, the guy.
The guy is insensitive.
He is.
And Republicans are frustrated, Jim.
Yes.
Republicans are frustrated because if it weren't for Trump's missteps, their racist, sexist, completely unqualified candidate would be in the lead.
That's why it bugs them.
That would bug me too if I were a Republican.
This is what it takes to lose by four points.
This is what it takes to lose by four points.
The world's worst person every day.
Hey, it might be worse.
I mean, Hillary just might reach out to environmentalists.
I almost said that with a straight face.
I almost said that with a straight face.
Hey, Donald Trump was photographed eating Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Did you see that picture?
Okay, so yeah, he was photographed eating Kentucky Fried Chicken.
You know why?
Because Colonel Sanders is the only military figure he hasn't insulted.
Colonel Sanders, not a real colonel.
What?
I think he was a colonel in the Civil War wrong side.
Oh.
I think the current, I think that Colonel Sanders was.
That's where he got his colonelness from.
They took away his deep-fried heart.
Speaking of Donald Trump, you know, he has more Vietnam War draft deferments than he has wives.
And that's saying something.
Jeez.
Think about that.
And those deferments were more sexually satisfying.
Can I say that?
I think you can.
I don't even know what I mean by that.
Bone spur.
Hey, by the way, just kudos to Fox News higher-ups for not letting their lies about Roger Ailes distract them from their main job, lying about everything else.
Kudos.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
We got a lot.
We're going to talk about: do you blame the voters or do you blame the candidate when a candidate loses?
We're going to talk about that.
Also, $400 million bribes paid to Iran to get hostages out.
Did it really happen?
The answer just may surprise you, or will it?
And who was the president who actually did trade arms for hostages with Iran?
The answer to that just may surprise you.
Also, coming up on today's show, the TPP, Barack Obama, full-throated defense of the TPP.
He plans on ramming it down our throats in a lame duck session.
That's your liberal left-wing Peace Prize winning president ramming the TPP down our throats of the lame duck.
We're going to take a look at the TPP today.
What is it all about?
The answer just may surprise you.
Also, Clint Eastwood endorses Donald Trump.
Ah, what a genius.
Plus, we're going to talk about that.
Plus, turns out a lot of Democrats running for office this November want Bernie Sanders' help.
Isn't that something?
We're going to talk about that.
Oh, we got phone calls today from Bill O'Reilly is going to call in because I don't know if you heard Bill O'Reilly.
He's got some info about who built the White House.
Slaves built it, but he's got some info about the slaves that just may surprise you.
Or will it?
That plus a lot, lot more coming up on today's Jimmy Dore Show.
*music*
Michelle Obama gave a speech at the DNC, and she made a reference to how slaves built the house that she now lives in.
And Fox News's Bill O'Reilly decided to do a little segment on that.
And, you know, it's nice to know over at Fox News that even historical crimes against humanity have a silver lining.
And Bill O'Reilly is going to tell us what it is.
Let's go ahead and listen.
Finally, tonight.
Factor Tip of the Day.
As we mentioned in Talking Points memo, Michelle Obama referenced slaves building the White House and referring to the evolution of America in a positive way.
It was a positive comment.
The history behind a remark is fascinating.
Fascinating.
The history behind her remarks.
Behind her, behind the slaves building the White House.
Here comes what he considers fascinating history.
Fascinating.
George Washington selected the site in 1791 and is presently the cornerstone in 1792.
Washington was then running the country out of Philadelphia.
Slaves did participate in the construction of the White House.
Records show.
First of all, not only did they participate, participate in building the White House, they mined the limestone and the marble with which it was made.
Slaves mined the limestone and marble, and they built the White House.
The stuff that was made out of came from slaves, and then slaves helped build it.
Yeah, they participated.
They participated.
You participate in a party or a get-together.
In a parade, you participate.
You don't participate in slave labor.
You are forced into it.
That's not a participation.
That's forced slave labor.
Oh, I'm participating in forced slave labor.
So it's funny to all the words for whatever reason that Bill is going to use in this segment to soften the effects of human slavery.
I don't know what's in it for him to do this, but there is, right?
Okay, here we go.
400 payments made to slave masters between 795 and 1801.
In addition, free blacks, whites, and immigrants also worked on the massive building.
There were no illegal immigrants at that time.
If you could make it here, you could stay here.
What's the point of that statement, really?
It's just completely out of left.
There were no illegal immigrants back then.
At least the immigrants who worked on the White House weren't illegal.
Just ask the Native Americans about their problems with the illegal immigrants.
Am I right?
In 1800, President John Adams took up residence in what was then called the executive mansion.
It was only later on they named it the White House.
But Adams was in there with Abigail, and they were still hammering nails.
Construction was still going on.
Slaves that worked there were well fed and had decent lodgings provided by the government.
Yes, of course.
Of course.
They were well fed.
And they lived in housing provided by the government, those welfare moochers.
That's what it makes it sound like, right?
They were well fed and they lived in housing provided by the government.
Decent housing provided by the government.
You know how well they took care of their slaves and their housing, I'm sure.
I think he left out a comma.
They were well fed.
They were well fed.
Oh, they're always, those slaves were always looking for a handout from the government, weren't they?
The slaves?
Well, they were incapable of taking care of themselves, and that's what, you know, we had to.
And it turns out Thomas Jefferson had to constantly deal with slavery human resources because of the sexual harassment at the workplace.
Well-fed.
That's just unbelievable.
The fact that they were well fed and had decent housing provided by the government.
The degradation of human bondage goes down so much easier on a full stomach.
Well-fed.
Well-fed and decent lodging.
Yes, Bill thinks the slaves received the Michelin Guide food scraps and five-star wooden shed lodgings.
Well fed.
I'm going to look into this, see how well-fed the slaves were.
Well fed.
They were well fed.
First of all, I don't think anybody was well fed back then, except super well-fed?
They even have refrigeration yet.
Well fed.
Okay.
But, you know, as Bill says, you know, slaves come in, White Houses go out.
You can't explain it.
Can't explain it.
You can't explain that.
He's got more to say.
Right now, you just know Bill O'Reilly and Lou Dobbs are sitting around thinking about the slaves billing the White House going, you kidding me?
Why are they complaining?
Look, they got fire stoves.
They think they're poor.
They got fire stoves.
Look, they got washboards.
And they think they're poor.
They have clay things to put their food in.
Okay.
It stopped hiring slave labor in 1802.
However, he says the government stopped hiring slave labor.
Okay, you don't hire slaves.
Do you know what you do?
You enslave slaves.
And then you beat them into working for you.
You know what their payment is for working?
They don't get beaten.
That's their payment.
You don't hire.
They stopped hiring slaves.
You don't hire a slave.
You enslave them into human bondage and then beat them into working for you.
I don't understand.
I still can't get over the decent lodging.
Oh, yeah, our fellow human beings were being raped, beaten, and killed as slaves, but at least they were staying at the Days Inn.
And then they stopped hiring them, hiring them as if slaves went and applied for the job.
Hey, we need some more slaves.
Every morning they received a continental breakfast whipping.
Yes.
And you know, Fox News doesn't see what's wrong with seeing human beings as personal property.
Just ask Roger Ailes.
Took the glasses off for that one.
Really wanted to land that one.
Cheryl, when O'Reilly talks about the horrors of slavery, he looks for the positive.
Well-fed and decent lodging.
Sure, African received affirmative action and on-the-job training.
So what's the big deal?
Okay, here we go.
Did not forbid subcontractors from using slave labor.
So Michelle Obama is essentially correct in citing slaves as builders of the White House, but there were others working as well.
Got it all?
There will be a quiz.
Just put the.
Oh.
What was the point of all that?
Well, I don't understand what the point.
That's the fascinating history behind how slaves were used to mine the materials for the White House and built the.
That's fascinating how we use slave labor who were well-fed and given decent housing.
Moochers, moochers.
The government provides for slaves, always has.
What is they were well?
They were well-fed and given decent housing.
The slaves were.
You know, us, when we have slaves, we're very human about it, you know, unlike when ISIS has slaves.
And thank goodness they have the payment records from the people who owned them.
Yeah, thank God.
You know, so we know that there was quality, you know, control involved.
They paid, you know, the owners of the slaves.
The contractors, the pre-Halliburtons.
Yeah, that's what you're talking about.
The contractors who had the slaves.
Oh, boy.
You guys got to remember how much a great effect that the legacy of slave ownership has on rich white broadcasters.
Oh, sure.
You know, throughout history, they had to give up their slaves and they had to figure out a way to survive without.
They had to change the whole economy.
And I look at them today.
They host TV shows.
Yeah.
They bounce back.
Women can complain about sexual harassment nowadays.
It's tough.
There's a major, it's a huge problem.
The legacy of slave ownership.
The legacy.
The Tufts legacy.
Yeah.
This is Fox News 200 years ago.
It's like The Onion occasionally does this, where they'll make an Onion newspaper for 1840.
This is how he would report on the building of the White House.
Hey, those slaves are well-fed and given decent housing.
Quit crying.
The right-wing spin machine serving the owners.
The oldest story in the history.
The propagandists work in every era.
But you know what?
That Fox News, they have news in their titles, so you know it's news.
And, you know, Hillary Clinton said that Megan Kelly's a superb journalist.
So they're doing some great work over there, I'm sure.
Yeah, they're doing good.
You know, the more you read about this, the more disturbing it is.
You know, PolitiFact reported the records reflect 385 payments between 1795 and 1801 for Negro hire, a euphemism for the yearly rental of slaves.
The rental of slaves.
Right?
And then, you know, they wouldn't pay the slaves.
They would pay a guy who owned them.
Yes.
That's our country.
That's what we built on.
Well, he's talking about them like they're animals.
I mean, that's literally what slavery was: treating someone else like a horse.
Right.
And what you keep your horses fed and housed so they can keep being a slave, keep being a workhorse.
Oh, yeah.
Just keep doing whatever you do.
And you, that's literally what they did.
That's how they treated people.
And you know, like, we're thinking that they have a regular work week.
You know, according to this, you know, it's talking about, right?
Right?
We're thinking regular work week.
I'm thinking eight hours a day.
They got paid overtime.
You know, they had two breaks a day.
Holidays, they get triple ten.
No.
And they work from sunrise to sunset.
So that's a part of the quiz, O'Reilly.
Wow.
Sunrise to sunset.
They were well-fed and well-housed.
They were rented out by a Hertz rental slave.
And, you know.
Can you imagine that working all day, hard labor, no pay, and no future?
No life.
You're not building towards a house or for your grandkids.
You just have to work all day and then they'll feed you.
And then that's it.
You don't get to have a family.
You don't get to have a house.
Instead of saying we should be ashamed as a nation that this ugly cancer or maybe this stain on our history is there, he says, why do they keep complaining?
It wasn't all so bad.
Michelle Obama failed to mention that they had got food.
She failed to mention that they got on-the-job training.
And they hired stonemasons from Europe or something.
It's like, come on.
This is considered a news channel.
Well, and he's reinforcing some narrative inside his viewers' minds that black people aren't grateful.
And they're complainers.
Yeah.
And we took care of them even when they were slaves.
What's the big deal?
What is the big deal?
We took away their freedom, but we gave them dinner.
Again, it's the inability to anything we do to see it to even have the same standard as we have towards someone.
If someone else enslaves people, they're barbaric.
They're backward cultures.
We have to wipe them out.
When we have slaves, it's like we were nice to them.
We were nice to them.
We were nice to them.
You know how I know we were nice to them?
A news channel told me.
News channel.
That's a news channel.
Sometimes they got to work in the shade.
You know, the ones, especially after they built the roof.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Fox News.
This is Bill speaking.
Hey, Bill O'Reilly.
The one and only.
Who the is this?
It's Jimmy Door, buddy.
Oh, Christ on a crutch.
What do you want?
Well, first of all, Bill, I'm curious as to why you are answering your own phone.
Yeah, that.
Well, turns out Roger Ailes has been sexually harassing the support staff around here so hard that they actually developed Stockholm syndrome.
So when he resigned a few weeks ago, all the receptionists went with him.
No.
Yeah.
So now until we can get some new hires or interns in here, I have to answer my own goddamn phone like some sort of dirty slave.
Bill, Bill, that's offensive.
I know.
Jimmy, I'll tell you, I have this thing about me where I have a pathological need to just make things worse.
Yeah.
Yes.
It really seems like that, Bill.
Honest to God.
I mean, that's actually why I was calling you.
I wanted to see if you wanted to address those comments on the Jimmy Door show.
You know, the ones you said about slavery and whatnot?
Sure, why not?
I mean, you're right there in league with the smear merchants, the race hustlers, the grievance industry, the Black Lives Matter fascists, the chaff snarfers, the nerf herders, the wigglemores, and all the rest of the dirty, filthy dockyard clammongers.
Bill, I don't know what any of that means.
Well, you can read about all those terms in my upcoming book, Killing Discourse.
Okay, I look forward to that book, but you know, those comments you made seemingly in defense of slavery, they've got a lot of people riled up, Bill.
People don't like facts, Jimmy.
The left wing hates the truth.
They can't handle it.
They can't handle it.
As a public historian, it's my job to present the past as it actually was, not as some left-wing fantasy.
Okay, Bill.
Then just how was history?
Tell me, it's laid on me.
Well, as I said, slaves did take part in the building of the White House.
This is true.
But at the time the White House was built, slavery had been around in America for about 180 years.
That is a long time.
It certainly is.
But slavery had only about 60 more years to go before it was outlawed.
That's way less than 180 years.
So, depending on how you look at it, slavery was already on the way out.
Some of the younger White House workers, I prefer to call them workers, if they live long enough, may have even been freed themselves in their 70s or 80s and after the Civil War.
So, in a way, they could look forward to a retirement.
Better than a lot of people in today's Obama's America, I might add.
Okay, very interesting, Bill.
And you said those slaves were well-fed and had decent housing.
Absolutely.
It behooved the slave owner to make sure their workers were well-fed and well-rested so they could maximize the labor that came out of them.
Yeah, Bill, if that was indeed the case, that wasn't out of altruism, as you seem to be implying.
It was purely financial, cold, calculating decision to save money and optimize profits.
Well, there you go.
Typical secular progressive bashing capitalism and a capitalist impulse.
Someone's well taken care of, who cares what the motivation is?
If capitalism is the reason that slaves were well taken care of, isn't capitalism the good guy here?
No, Bill, capitalism doesn't even enter into this.
Slavery, any forced labor, is the opposite of capitalism or the free market or the idea that each individual is free to make all economic decisions for themselves.
A slave, by definition, cannot do that.
Aha, but at the time, slaves were legally considered property, therefore not individuals.
The slave owners were the individuals.
So technically, still capitalism.
Sorry, got you on that one, Dormouse.
Yeah, you really got me, Bill.
Look, I gotta ask, is this the bottom of this?
Yeah, you really got me, Bill.
I gotta ask you, what is at the bottom of all this?
I mean, where does this impulse come from?
The need for some reason to mitigate the horrors of slavery.
Not just from you, but from the right wing in general.
Where does this come from, Bill?
Because, you liberal loon, patriots like myself and others, see American history as an inexorable march to perfection because we are a Christian nation.
Were there bad things that happened in our past?
Absolutely, no doubt.
However, like slavery, they sorted themselves out.
And that happened because of Americans sticking to conservative principles.
That's what makes America the greatest country in the world.
So, when grievance mongers, such as yourself and Michelle Obama, point out that slavery was bad, or even if slavery existed at all, it interferes with that perception and allows people like the Black Lives Matter terrorists to thrive.
Having blacks think that they've been wrong throughout history is not constructive and distracts them for acknowledging the fact that all of their problems are their own doing, namely wearing saggy pants and listening to rip rap.
Wow.
That is one of the most head-in-the-sand interpretations of social histories that I've ever heard, Bill.
Besides, all this talk about slavery obscures the truly egregious crime in America's past.
What our most shameful chapter really is.
What's that?
The systemic displacement of the Native Americans?
No, come on.
Give me a break.
Well, what is it then?
Irish slavery.
What?
Irish slavery.
The slavery they don't teach you about in school that you don't hear about from the social justice warriors because it happened to white people.
What are you talking about?
Jimmy, Irish-American amateur historians estimate that during the 17th and 18th century, over 70 million Irish slaves were brought in chains to the English colonies.
That is an astounding number, considering it is literally over 10 times the population of the entire nation of Ireland at any point in its history.
These oppressed sons of Aaron were whipped, tortured, huddled into cramped ships.
Several of them died.
They were forced to labor on plantations under the hot sun, so foreign to their pale Celtic skin.
They were forced to live with blacks, abandon their native language, and hide their Roman Catholic faith for seven long years until they were given their freedom, provided farming equipment of their own, and allowed to purchase their own farms.
Sounds terrible.
It was.
The Irish formed the true wonder class of the British New World, and the prejudice against it was fierce.
We were considered an entire foreign race by the English, and this racism permeated Anglo-American culture for centuries until free but impoverished Irish immigrants started arriving in American port cities by the thousands beginning in the 1840s.
These new immigrants, including O'Reilly's and Doors, faced unspeakable discrimination for decades until they all became cops.
This oppression stems directly from the 1500s and the Ulster Wars and continued to affect the Irish people for centuries and shape Irish American culture to this very day.
Really?
Surprised you didn't know that.
I guess I didn't learn about that in school, Bill.
That's because anti-Irish bias survives in our society.
Yeah, even at the Catholic high school I went to on the south side of Chicago.
Our community is Taught to hate itself, Jimmy.
But be strong, my Gaelic brother.
We will overcome.
Okay, Bill, thanks.
That's your defense of saying all that crazy stuff about slavery.
Yeah.
So just keep your pants pulled up.
You'll be fine.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, Bill.
Back to your cocktails and your sexual harassing.
Okay, go for it.
All right.
I might call you a little later.
I'm going to have a few cocktails here.
Okay.
All right.
Look forward to that phone call.
Don't get too drunk.
All right.
Okay, Bill.
Bye-bye, Bill.
Hey, you want to do some funny business at the Burbank Comedy Festival?
It's August 14th through 20th.
It's at the Flappers Comedy Club and Restaurant.
So I'm going to be there.
That's me, Jimmy Doer.
Guess who else will be there?
Tom Shigura, Chris Titus, Kate Flattery, Drew Lynch, 250 new and emerging comedians from all over the world.
And guess what?
You can also get a hotel because they're right around the corner from Flappers, conveniently located for best hotel rates at a special VIP festival pass.
Go to Burbank ComedyFestival.com, sponsored by the Downtown Burbank Partnership, and visit Burbank.
Do not freak out.
I'm not doing not freak out.
I'm not doing nothing.
Hey, thanks to everybody who thinks about the Jimmy Door show when they buy something from Amazon.com.
It's a big way to help support the show.
Now, we don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon, but we say if you're going to shop at Amazon anyway, let's have some of that money go to a good progressive cause like the Jimmy Dore show.
The next time you want to buy something from Amazon, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Click on our Amazon box right there.
It takes you to Amazon.com when you get their bookmarket.
So then you just go to your bookmark next time.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
Thanks to everybody.
Now let's get back to the second half of the show.
Welcome back to the second half of today's Jimmy Door show.
We got a lot coming up in the second half.
Guess who calls in?
Bill O'Reilly.
If you heard the first half of the show, you know he thinks the slaves were well-fed and had decent housing, the ones who built the White House.
So he's going to get drunk.
He got drunk and he's going to call and he left some message on my machine.
We're going to play him for you coming up.
Also, Barack Obama gives a full-throated endorsement for the TPP trade deal, which both presidential candidates are against.
Isn't that interesting?
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton both profess to not be for the TPP.
They're against it.
But our president, our current president, is for it.
Isn't that interesting?
Okay, we're going to talk about that.
Plus, a lot more coming up in the second half.
Plus, don't forget, we'll see you Wednesday, August 17th.
That's a 5 p.m. live Jimmy Door show for the Burbank Comedy Festival.
That's in Burbank, California, August 17th, 5 p.m.
Show.
Live Jimmy Door show.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a free ticket.
There's a link for free tickets.
Right now, let's get to the second half of today's show.
So as we pointed out with Brexit vote, the way the establishment and the elites want to frame everything is these are just horrible racists, right?
Just like Trump supporters.
They're just horrible racists.
Are there horrible racists inside Brexit movement and inside the Trump?
Yes, it attracts racists like crazy.
But what we've said here at the Jimmy Door show and other people have said is that economic instability is what makes people vulnerable to racist demagogues, right?
If people had jobs, they wouldn't be looking around to blame someone for their lack of jobs, right?
And as soon as they don't have one and they've been lied to by their own leaders for 30, 40 years, they start to point, look for it.
And the guy says, hey, it's the Mexicans' fault.
It's the Chinese fault.
It's that immigrants' fault.
And they go with him.
So this is what The Guardian has to say.
This is what The Guardian said, by the way.
This is which I thought was pretty good.
It said, there is another way to interpret the Trump phenomenon.
A map of his support may coordinate with racist Google searches, but it coordinates even better with deindustrialization and despair.
With the zones of economic misery that 30 years of Washington's free market consensus have brought the rest of America.
So he's saying, yeah, it's easy for the elites to go, it's all racism and don't take any of the blame themselves for the 30 years of free market consensus that have brought the deindustrialization and despair home to America.
People are ignoring this.
You know who's not ignoring it?
Donald Trump.
He says, I'm against the TPP.
I'm against NAFTA.
I'm against those things.
And that's why people are for him.
Now we have another trade deal called the TPP deal, which is also horrible for workers.
You know who it's good for?
It's good for corporations.
Why?
Because I'll tell you why in a second.
But here's Barack Obama, who has not gotten a memo that the people are on to your bullsh.
The people are onto corporatism.
The people are onto trade deals that sell them out and export good jobs, that take good jobs and turn them into jobs and send them to poorer, more desperate people in another country.
People are on to that.
We know what's going on.
So that's why everyone's against the TPP, including, you ready for this?
Hillary Clinton is even against the TPP.
Huh?
What?
Yeah, that's how bad it is.
Even Hillary Clinton claims to be against the TPP.
Here's Barack Obama given a press conference.
Here we go.
We agreed to do more to encourage economic growth and innovation among our economies.
With a little over a decade, trade between our two countries has grown more than 50%.
There are fears and anxieties that people may be left behind.
And these anxieties are legitimate.
They can't be ignored.
Yeah, because, you know, every other trade deal we ever instituted has left everybody behind, except for the handful of rich people who own everything.
That's why it's legitimate, I guess.
That's why it's really just keep in mind.
The TP.
Okay, let's keep going.
Taken seriously.
As I've said before, it means that we have to do everything we can to make sure that everybody shares in prosperity.
Now, that's just happy talk because that is 100% bullshit.
We have to make sure everybody shares in prosperity.
There are countries inside this TPP deal which literally still okay slavery.
You think I'm kidding?
Look it up.
Brunei, literally okay with slavery.
So now we're our jobs are being competing with actual slaves, not just symbolic.
So this whole thing, we got to make sure it works for everybody.
We all Know that the only reason you're putting this, there's already plenty of trade happening between our countries.
The only reason you're putting this in place is to maximize the profits and insulate corporations from the people.
That's what this is.
Because, okay, let's keep going.
We have strong rules to protect workers, to promote high wages, to make sure that our citizens are getting the education and that they need.
This is all bullshit.
That's all 100%.
We got to make sure everybody gets high wages.
This pisses me off so much.
I'm going to tweet about it right now on my iPhone that was made by a five-year-old who jumped off a roof.
Here we go.
The answer cannot be to back away from trade in the global economy.
It is here to stay.
It's not possible.
And so that's also a straw man.
This idea, so since we can't back away from global trade, we have to sign these trade deals that sell out our workers and sell out our sovereignty, by the way.
What do you mean by that, Jimmy?
Well, the TPP relinquishes our nation's sovereignty to private courts.
Yeah.
Yes, that's right.
Private courts.
And who sits on those courts?
People appointed by corporations.
That's who sits on those courts.
And they're set up by multinational corporations to preside over their own disputes.
The TPP not only kills jobs, but it is a way for multinational corporations to get around American regulations and litigation.
The TPP wipes out the remaining manufacturing jobs, but it also loses business for lawyers.
So when he says we can't close ourselves off, these are strawmen arguments.
We already have arrangements with all the nations we trade with.
What the TPP does is have the American public underwrite the losses of private industries.
I'll give you an example.
Let's say a corporation says that an oil company says, hey, your regulations about drilling are costing me money.
They get to now sue us.
Not in our courts, in one of these international tribunals with the judges appointed by the corporations for their losses.
Hey, you pass an environmental law.
Now it costs me money.
I get to sue you for what that law costs us.
And who decides if they get paid or not?
Not a jury of our peer.
No, an international court appointed by corporations.
That's what this is.
It takes away our sovereignty.
That's kind of like an actual death panel.
That is.
Yeah.
You know, Obama's speech was manufactured at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.
People need to look that up to get that humor.
These are the same type of free trade arguments being made by Clinton for NAFTA.
Ask any Rust Belt swing state how great NAFTA was.
These are the exact same arguments.
With the NAFTA trading bloc, we were here's a difference.
With NAFTA, we were the dominant economic player.
With the TPP, we will never be the major player because it is set up to minimize our power.
And we know Obama wants to be a favorite of the corporate speaking circuit, but flushing working families down the toilet is not worth the president's cushy retirement.
Am I right?
Or maybe it is.
I love how he says the TPP promotes high wages.
Sure.
I trust Asian nations that use slave labor.
I'm sure they will guarantee high wages.
Just keep in mind that President Obama is pushing this through along with Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell.
And the Democrats are okay with that?
Are they going to go along with it?
Excuse me.
Whatever Republicans and Democrats agree, some poor people are about to have their lives worsened.
Yes, they are.
Here we go.
To cut ourselves off, given how integrated our economies are.
And trying to pull up a drawbridge on trade would only hurt us and hurt our workers.
I am a strong supporter of TPP because it will reduce tariffs, taxes, basically, on American goods, from cars to crops and make it easier for Americans to export into the fastest growing markets of the world.
TPP levels the playing field for our workers and helps to ensure countries abide by it levels the playing field and levels everything else on top of the field too.
It's going to level everything.
This is all horse.
This is your liberal lefty Democrat.
Even Hillary Clinton now claims to be against this.
The poster child for corporatism says she's against this.
That's how bad this is.
And here he is full-throated because he's not running for re-election.
This is all to please his donors.
This is not going to help America.
This does not help American workers.
This helps a handful of wealthy corporations insulate themselves from legal rulings that would go against them.
This is all about protecting cash of the richest companies in the world.
It's got nothing to do with work, helping workers.
It's got nothing to do with raising people's wages.
All this has to do, you know what?
In fact, for instance, it's a giveaway to big pharma because pharma now gets to keep their patents longer.
So that means we can't, it takes a lot longer to get generic drugs.
And who does that hurt?
Poor people or rich people when it takes longer to get generic drugs.
Of course, this hurts working people.
It hurts poor people.
All this does is protect profits for wealthy corporations.
And Barack Obama is 100,000% full of sh.
100%.
I don't know what his tell is what he's lying, but he's lying all the way through this thing.
100% lying.
Barack Obama.
He's doing what Donald Trump does.
He's lying.
And he's lying to screw over American workers.
And apparently Democrats are okay.
But so if I don't support that, somehow I'm ridiculous.
I'm a child.
Wacky.
I'm petulant.
I'm selfish.
I'm white privileged.
The TPP is not free market.
This is a paid market.
And the American people are going to be the ones doing all the paying.
The American people are going to be the ones doing all the pay.
Jimmy Door.
Just a big FYI to you far-left Belgian and I munching smear merchants.
I live in a house built by beavers, and all my employees are well-fed with falafels and currently live in an abandoned Samballs restaurant in White Plains, New York.
More later on the factor.
He sounds drunk.
He sounds drunk.
Yeah.
He called back.
He called back a couple times, actually.
I'm just saying there were other people who worked on the White House, Jimmy.
But according to my extensive research, as performed by my well-fed interns, currently housed in an abandoned Sambo's restaurant outside of Tosaic, the slaves only built the easy parts of the White House, like the mailbox and one of those cutting boards in the shape of a fish, like I made my mom for her in elementary school.
The white guys were given all the hard parts, like doors and curved things you have to measure with some kind of instrument or something.
All I know is slaves got away with murder at the White House.
They had it good.
So essentially, Michelle Obama was correct.
And I'm okay with that.
See, keeping it fair and balanced.
He sounds drunk.
Yeah, he's got a drinking problem.
He certainly has a problem.
He called back again.
He called back again.
Anyone who implies I'm soft on slavery is beneath contempt.
I've always been tough on slavery.
If I'd been alive during that great era, I most certainly would have favored stricter regulation of that industry to ensure proper safety standards for the cotton.
And as any historian knows, the better you care for a product, the better conditions get for workers.
More later on the factor.
you can't see me right now but i'm waking you in a charming manner walk when you want to think her more The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
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Here's a guy.
What's this guy?
Representative Richard Ruben Gallegos?
Ruben Gallegos.
Now, I'm going to play this.
He was on CNN and he's going to say something about not voting for Trump.
And let's listen to Kara Costello, how she responds.
It's kind of a.
As a veteran and friends of a lot of Gold Star families, it really is just disgusting for someone to call themselves a national leader, but not having the temperament or understanding of what.
So he's talking about Trump's attack on that Goldstein Khan's, right?
Their son was killed.
He was a Muslim fighting for America, was killed.
They gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention.
He pulled the guy, pulled out a dog-eared copy of the Constitution and said, Donald Trump, you've never even read this thing.
And so, and Trump attacked them, right?
And so he's attacking Gold Star mothers.
And that's what this guy's referring to.
Okay.
Sacrifice means to a gold star family.
And then when pushed up against the wall, just turning around and lashing out in a very idiotic and irresponsible manner really tells me one thing: this person's not ready to be president.
And for any politician that considers himself a sane and responsible politician to still be endorsing somebody like Donald Trump really makes me question whether or not they are truly looking out for the welfare of this country.
So that's like one of those things.
It makes me question people, really?
People endorsing Trump?
It makes you question regular Republicans like John McCain, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell.
You don't think those guys are looking out for the best of the country?
Come on.
The next time those guys look out for the best of the country will be the first time, minus John McCain on that.
But John McCain, he's such, I don't understand John McCain.
He can stand up to the Vietnamese, right?
They take literally take torture, but he's afraid to stand up to Donald Trump and his base.
Isn't that kind of sad?
So we're going to let's play.
So he goes on, listen to Carol Costello here.
So this is a veteran saying, how can people support this guy who attacks veterans?
That's literally what Donald Trump is doing and attacks veterans' parents.
Paul Ryan probably will receive your letter and say, well, he's a Democrat.
He wants to keep this going for obvious purposes.
Well, more importantly, I want to keep this country safe.
And somebody like Donald Trump is unstable.
He doesn't understand the military.
He doesn't understand our veteran and veteran families.
He clearly doesn't have the temperament to be president of the United States.
And time and time again, Paul Ryan rebukes the things that Donald Trump says without ever mentioning his name, but yet turns around and continues to support him.
And how is Donald Trump ever going to learn to constrain himself to actually comport himself like an actual leader when all these Republican leaders are turning around and still giving him the backing and encouraging him to continue to run for office?
So I agree with what he's saying.
Donald Trump's never going to learn anything.
Nobody's going to teach a guy who's 70 years old how to be a better person.
But I agree with everything he's saying about how.
So how do you call yourself a moral politician with integrity and still back this guy?
Like, so you don't get to, you can't, those are incongruent with each other.
Those are contradictory.
You can't say you're this kind of a moral, upstanding person who cares about the country and then still give your support to a guy like Donald Trump.
Those two things, and I agree, right?
And all those things he said, I mean, Donald Trump, the nicest thing you could say about him is he's unfit.
That's like the nicest thing to say that he's unhinged and unfit.
He's both those things and much, much worse.
Let's see how Kara Costello takes this.
Here's the thing.
You know, Senator John McCain came out with a very strong letter renouncing denouncing Donald Trump's comments about the Khan family.
I'm still endorsing him.
But Senator McCain would say, you know what?
The voters have spoken.
Who am I as a politician to disavow what they want?
Wow.
I don't know.
It's called being a leader.
I mean, remember when the voters called Barack Obama an Arab and you corrected that young lady or that woman?
Remember that?
That's called being a leader.
So she's completely wrong about this.
Yes, yes, there's a time to listen to the people.
There's also a time to lead.
It's important to be a leader sometimes and not a politician.
I think Senator McCain is missing that point.
So is Speaker Ryan.
This man is unstable.
He is unfit to be a presidential.
You think he's unstable?
She is Carol Costello, this week's world detective in the universe.
Do you think he's unstable?
This is what she pushes back on.
You think he does, you think he's something that he does every day, all day?
That's completely provable by Every single one of his actions?
What?
Comedy team of Trump and Costello.
That's crazy.
He's a news person.
You think he's unstable?
Like, that was the one.
Like, whoa.
What?
The guy who calls for barring a third of the world's population from entering a nation of immigrants?
Huh?
You think he's unstable?
The guy who said he saw Muslims cheering at 9-11, there's no video.
Yeah, that guy, you think he's unstable?
A guy who texts John McCain and all veterans who's ever been captured.
You think he's unstable?
The guy who's called a reporter who questioned him said she was bleeding from her, I don't know, wherever.
You think he's unstable?
The guy who wants to bang his own daughter, you think he's unstable?
That guy.
The guy who tells his audiences, I want to punch him right in the face.
If it was the old days, we'd have ripped that guy out of there.
But do you think that guy's unstable?
Carol Costello has a news show on a news network.
Carl Costello.
That's her big question.
Is he really unstable?
Holy shit.
Let's see what else.
I absolutely believe he's unstable.
Like mentally unstable.
I do believe he's mentally unstable.
What?
Like mental?
I was talking about like he had bad ankles, but he's you think he's mentally unstable?
Carol Costello is blown away by the fact of Donald Trump.
Jim, you mean you're talking he's an unstable element?
I don't understand what you're talking about.
Periodic tape.
Where is he on the.
What is he?
Plutonium?
Is his mass does his weight mass less than the sum of his parts?
How does that happen?
Does he have too many hydrogen atoms?
What do you mean, unstable?
I think he's an inspiration to people with bone spurs everywhere.
Yes.
Carol Costello blown away.
Wait a minute.
You're telling me Donald Trump is mentally unstable?
It's August.
This is how.
Oh, Carol Costello.
Oh, I want her interpreting the news for me.
I want her to tell me what's going on.
I want her to tell you what's going on.
Let us not forget the Irish were once considered slaves by the English, okay?
My Irish ancestors struggle with bigotry and hate, just like my African-American friends.
As a matter of fact, my great-great-great-grandfather died while being transported on an English slave ship.
He choked to death on a truffle after getting drunk with the captain and falling off the poop deck.
*BEEP* *laughs*
There's more.
He keeps calling.
He calls back.
Hello, Sambos.
Hello?
Where are my kumquats?
Where are my kumquats?
Get outdoor live.
Call back.
Yeah, I think you say there's more messages.
This guy will.
Let me make it clear, Jimmy.
My statement was not a justification, not a defense of slavery.
It was more like an explanation for it.
You know, like when Gilligan says, but Skipper, I can explain.
So basically, slavery is like a sitcom that distracts people from the Vietnam War.
So essentially, Michelle Obama is correct.
And if she were here right now, I pat her on the head to tell her to bring my shoes.
I don't owe you anything, Jimmy.
My word is my bond.
What?
Why is he ends a call like that?
He's incoherent.
There's one more call.
He's got one more.
This is the last one.
Has it ever occurred to you, non-slavery advocates, that my words may just may have been taken out of context?
What I meant to say was the slaves who built the White House were surprisingly articulate and clean and thusly rewarded for their appearance.
Especially the ones who look less African.
Let me rephrase that.
Slavery was an abomination.
Just think how much nicer it would have been if the slaves had cooperated more.
More later on the factor.
Now, this is his last one.
It gets even crazier.
This is his last call.
Okay, to hear the final Bill O'Reilly drunk call.
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That's the 17th.
Okay.
Today's show was written by Frank Conniff, Mike McCrae, Jim Earl, Steph Zamarado, Mark Van Landuit.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorse saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
We'll be right back.
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