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Nov. 14, 2015 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
you Thank you.
I got a call from Liam Neeson.
At first, I didn't know who it was.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Yes?
Seamus.
Yes?
It is I. Who?
Darkman.
Jimmy, it's Liam Neeson.
Oh.
Oh, hi, Liam.
How are you doing, my old friend?
It's been too long since we've spoken.
Yes, yes, it has.
But you know what?
What?
You and I have one of those friendships where it doesn't matter how long it's been since our winding trails have met.
But once we do and start talking, it's like only a minute has passed since we last spoke, and we pick right up where we left off.
Okay, so why are you calling me?
Well, James, as you know, I follow politics closely.
This is what initially drew me to listening to your program.
Right.
And I've been watching this current election cycle with keen interest.
And what do you think?
Well, James, you know me to be generally a passive observer of these matters.
Yes, yes, that's true.
But I don't think I can sit idly by anymore.
What do you mean?
Jimmy, I'm running for president.
What?
Are you serious?
That's insane, Liam.
Well, I don't think it's all that crazy.
Don't you think I stand at least a fighting chance against this League of Bozos?
Well, it's not that.
It's just...
Both of them, Republican and Democrat.
What?
And I'll be running as an independent as well, just to have all my bases covered.
Liam, you can't do that.
It's not allowed.
Jimmy, my old friend, when have you known me to be a man who follows the rules?
There is no way they will let you.
I have a slogan ready and everything.
Oh, really?
Well, you've already done the hard work, I guess.
What is it?
Liam Neeson 2016.
Beef Burgundy.
What?
You heard me.
It's a fine, manly meal, full of red meat with a thick, rich broth.
It's American.
It's masculine.
It's traditional.
Beef Burgundy.
Liam Neeson.
You know, I'm not sure if people...
Lightning to the nations.
But then I realized that was an old Diamondhead album that I was just subconsciously remembering.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So, well, what's your platform?
What issues are you going to run on?
Well, you know, truth, justice, and the American way, I suppose.
Anything else, more detail, will just come out of those ideals.
Hey, speaking of American, don't you have to be born in America to be president?
A very small matter, my friend.
I've lived in the United States for decades now.
And I was born in Ireland, which is a very, very white country.
That's not the type of foreigner people are worried about.
Yeah.
Do you have a strategy without a deal with the other candidates, the Republicans?
I felt about being on that debate stage quite a bit.
When faced with that number of adversaries at once, your actions must be swift and bold.
The first step is to find the least aggressive of the lot and dispatch him violently, creating a temporary atmosphere of shock in order to gain the upper hand.
Thus, swiftly shall I grab Bobby Jindal and jab my two fingers deep into his nostrils and swing his head down forward, cracking his skull in the podium.
In the ensuing melee, the self-appointed leader, Donald Trump, will inevitably charge me.
At this point, I will strike with my palm in the center of his face, shattering his nose and driving the cartilage into his brain, killing him instantly.
The rest of them will be dispatched one by one in a game of cat and mouse that will take place in the rafters of the debate auditorium.
Wow, I see.
And then we move on to the true opponents, the Democrats.
Liam, please tell me you're not going to kill Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton.
She's a grandmother for crying out loud.
No, no, they will fight admirably, but survive and be allowed to escape.
Why?
Well, so they can come back in the sequel, of course, in 2020.
Ah!
I'm trying to franchise this, you know.
I am a businessman as well as an artist.
Well, this all sounds very interesting, Liam.
Imagine a Neeson presidency.
Prosperity for everyone.
Horse-drawn carriages trotting along every street in Manhattan.
An entire nation riveted by a leader who vacillates maniacally between avuncular Hibernian kindness and unspeakable physical violence.
All right, Liam.
We look forward to all of this.
Thanks for calling in, buddy.
Always a pleasure, my friend.
Beef Burgundy.
That was Liam Beeson.
Liam Neeson.
Nice.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, Kigali.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I am joined on the phone all the way from New York City.
You know him, you love him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank Frank Connif is with us.
Hey, Frank.
Hello there.
Hey, Frank, now you got your new, you got your new Pot House 90 is out, Frank's new podcast.
Brand new episode of my podcast, Hot House 90.
It's called the Agora Public Action League.
It's about superheroes who are too depressed to leave their apartment.
It has absolutely no action or adventure in it whatsoever.
So that's the big selling point.
Also, I'm in Denver this weekend with Facebook doing a live movie riffing show.
Oh, where at in Denver?
The Alamo Draft House.
Okay.
All right.
Fantastic.
Go see Frank in Denver this weekend.
We got a lot of listeners there.
All right.
Also with us, he's back.
He's back, one of our all-time favorite guests, Emmy Award winner, the host of the Edge Dash Edge Dash Show podcast.
That's right, Edge-Show.com, Jimmy.
It's a very exciting podcast.
And he's moving to the evenings on KFI, the most listened-to radio station in the world.
That's true.
It's the most listened-to talk station and also the most streamed.
So it's a lot of people.
I'm an influence maker, Jimmy.
I really am.
I'm an influencer.
That's what we call it.
So we look forward to hearing you in the evenings on KFI.
Also with us, the hilarious comedian, you know her from the Miserable Liberal blog.
It's our resident Latina, Steph Zamarano, who was with us.
Hi, Steph.
I'm still here, Jim.
Wow, your hair looks fantastic today.
Thank you.
And also with us across the glass run on the board, hilarious comedian Michael Schurzer, who's going to be at the Malibu Playhouse Theater tomorrow night, November 14th.
I'll be there.
Steph will be there.
Michael will be there.
And Laura Keitlinger will be there.
He'll be telling jokes at the Malibu Playhouse Theater.
Last time we did a show there, sold out.
So get your tickets.
You can get tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
There's a link for tickets right there.
I'll see you tomorrow night, Malibu Playhouse Theater, 8 p.m. show.
That's how you plug a show, folks.
Yes.
All right.
So let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, you heard the Starbucks, the Starbucks Red Cup.
There's a big controversy.
You've heard about this, right?
The Starbucks Red Cup.
Now, tell people what's happening with that, Mark.
Well, the Christmas spirit is being taken out of the actual emblem on Starbucks Cups.
There had been a reference to Christmas, I think, explicitly on the cups.
But now, realizing that maybe that is, they would like to keep things sort of just more across the board non-denominationally joyous, they've taken that off.
Isn't that kind of essentially what they're doing?
That's what they're doing.
So the Starbucks Red Cup is an insult to people of faith who were hoping this Christianity thing would somehow catch on one day.
Hey, Jimmy, you know, there's a boycott Starbucks movement as a result of this.
No, I didn't.
I didn't hear about it.
There is.
There's a boycott Starbucks movement.
But the weird thing is that the boycott Starbucks movement headquarters, there's a Starbucks in it.
That is weird.
You know, the good thing about this Starbucks Red Cup thing is that the Christians upset about the Starbucks Red Cup finally understand the extent of the suffering Jesus felt when he was on the cross.
No Starbucks on the cross.
Why is there Jimmy?
No, there was not.
Hey, did you hear Bob Dole endorse Jeb Bush?
No.
This is huge.
And now Jeb Bush is sure bet to win over the Centennials.
Bob Dole's endorsement means that Jeb Bush is going to dominate the political scene for the rest of 1995.
These are all good jokes.
Now, Frank, I understand you weren't able to see the GOP debate.
No, I wasn't.
So what'd you do instead?
Well, instead, I went up to random crazy people on the street and asked them to make callisticish remarks and lie to me.
Oh, I bet that felt just like being at the next time.
Just like being at debate.
Did you hear Jeb Bush said he'd hypothetically kill baby Hitler?
Yes.
Ben Carson one-upped him by saying he actually did kill baby Hitler.
That's where he tried to knife him and it first it hit his pin in his diaper and it bent it.
Gosh, the good luck.
Yeah.
Can you imagine what would have happened if he had actually?
You know why Chris Christie wouldn't have gone back to kill Hitler?
It's because of the Butterfinger effect.
I don't get that joke.
Good butterfly effect.
Oh, Butterfinger.
That was a good joke, Frank.
It's a thinking man's joke.
Hey, did you hear Ben Carson is claiming that he was in the Jem and the holograms movie, but no one can verify if that's true or not.
That's the joke I don't get.
I'm going to guess nobody saw that movie.
Nobody saw that movie, so nobody, nobody can.
He claimed he was in it, but yet no one can verify it.
That's how poorly that movie did.
Oh, I get it.
You see, nobody has seen it.
Oh, so it's verified.
He was in that movie.
Oh, you know what makes me laugh?
It's the joy of logic in that joke.
That's what I love about that joke.
Okay, so what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to take a look at the Republican debate.
And what we find just may surprise you, or will it?
Also, the minimum wage rears its ugly head at the debate.
What's the best way to help people on minimum wage?
The answer definitely will surprise you.
Plus, plus, we take a look at college and being a Republican.
Does it help or hurt?
The answer is exactly what you think.
Plus, the 9-11 first responders health care bill.
It's up for a vote again.
Is it going to pass?
We're going to talk about it.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Leon Neeson.
Jeb Bush calls in and Herman Kane.
Plus, in studio, we have hilarious comedian, you know, you love him from 30 Rock.
Good friend of the show, Judith Friedlander, is here.
He's got his new book out.
We're going to talk about it, If Rain Drops United, that's coming up later on in the show.
Plus, a lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
No.
you you I don't know if you guys saw the Fox Business News Republican debate.
So the RNC obviously laid down some conditions to Fox Business News, right?
And some of the, I think that they, one of them, the conditions was that the moderators were not allowed to ask follow-up questions, right?
The only follow-ups at the debate were done by the other candidates.
Yes.
Right?
I'm not making any of this up.
You saw the debate, right, Mark?
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah, that's right.
And was it, do you want to have anything you want to say to that?
That kind of thing.
There was sort of like that was sort of the generic sort of follow-up.
Yes.
So it was an effort to shield the Republican candidates from their own stupidity, basically.
So, and by the way, Republicans don't believe in regulating business, but they do believe in regulating debates.
Isn't that interesting?
By the way, is it just me, or was that the sound for when you are exceeding your time?
Is that the Price is Right sounder that they were using?
That sounded like the Price is Right.
It was really game showy.
Yeah, it was like, so are you guys playing Name That Tune?
Or you guys had a debate?
It wasn't like, boop, boop, boop.
It was weird.
It's a party that wants everything so elegant.
It was oddly 1975 family feud.
And everyone, yeah, I was waiting for Neil Cavuto to go, and the survey sex!
Yes!
But Mark, Marco Rubio just received the endorsement of Gene Rayburn.
Hey, by the way, CNN just called a debate for Hillary Clinton.
Nice.
So where is the so basically, you know, we had all the things you normally get at a debate, right?
People talk about how both their parents, Marco Rubio talked about his dad was a bartender, his mother was a man.
You get all that stuff.
And like John Kasich, you know, John Kasich, who ended up working for Lehman Brothers.
And I got to tell you, my father carried mail on his back.
His father was a coal miner.
And I sold out to the banks and screwed over my own people in my own state.
A natural progression, really.
That's how it goes, right?
Coal miner, mailman, bank whore.
I think that's how it goes.
And he's voting against laws that allow someone to carry a mail on his back.
Yeah.
So it was the questions couldn't be.
First of all, the ideas were so old.
It was the answer to everything, cut taxes and get rid of regulations on business.
That's the answer to everything.
By the way, that's what got us here.
George, again, if tax cuts created jobs, we would be swimming in jobs because George Bush's tax cuts were the biggest.
They ballooned the deficit, A, created no jobs.
We had a net job loss by the time George Bush left office net over that time.
So it created no new jobs.
None.
And don't forget those who did have jobs apparently were making too much money.
The wage cuts is what we're talking about.
Yes.
That's what the GOP wants.
I mean, they want.
They feel like that's another burden to business, right?
People are making too much money.
We're going to get to that.
But first, their answer to everything.
Here's Ted Cruz.
Most important question any of us can face, which is how do we get the economy growing?
How do we bring back economic growth?
I'm going to guess cut taxes and regulations.
If you look at the history of America, there are three levers that government has had to facilitate economic growth.
The first is tax reform.
Tax reform.
When they say reform, they mean cut.
When they say Social Security reform, Medicare reform, they mean cut.
That's a cut.
Okay?
So that's so then.
And what about regulations, Ted?
The second element is regulatory reform.
So yeah, we've got to cut taxes.
The same thing that got us here.
They got rid of the regulations on the banks.
Within a decade, they went belly up and almost crashed our economy.
So tax cuts, George Bush did the biggest tax cut, and we lost jobs.
Okay?
So, but let's see.
What does Jeb Bush say we should do?
A 4% growth strategy starts with tax reform.
Okay, so he's for cutting taxes.
Good.
What about regulations, Jeb?
On the regulatory side, I think we need to repeal every rule that Barack Obama has in terms of work in progress.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Well, Carly Fiorino, what about taxes for you?
We need to actually reform the tax code.
Go to a three-page tax code.
Three-page bill.
999.
So now they're quoting Herman Kaine.
They're literally quoting her.
Three-page bill.
They're saying a three-page tax bill.
So her idea was to cut taxes, too.
What is your idea about regulations?
In addition to rolling back what President Obama has done, we need to do a top-to-bottom review of every single regulation on the books.
That hasn't been done in 50 years.
So they all said that, right?
Now, you saw the debate, right, Mark?
To a person, every one of them said cut taxes and regulations.
Am I right?
Yes.
So I don't even want to have to ask.
That's true.
I'm nodding in absolute agreement.
And they all had variations on the same tax plan, right?
So the same.
So here's Ben Carson's tax plan.
He said he got it from the Bible, and he said it was be tithing.
Now, tithing means you give 10% of your income to the church.
And they asked him about this, and this is what he said.
When I say tithing, I'm talking about the concept of proportionality.
Right.
Everybody should pay the same proportion of what they make.
You make $10 billion, you pay a billion.
You make $10, you pay one.
You get the same rights and privileges.
I don't see how anything gets a whole lot fairer than that.
You make $10?
And we're going to take one away from you.
That doesn't seem proportional.
If you're poor and you work all day and someone pays you $10, we're going to take some of that away from you.
We've got to take a whole dollar.
We're going to take a tenth of it away.
So what's wrong with Ben Carson?
Because that sounds like on the face, you're like, yeah, it's fair.
This guy's paying a billion dollars.
You're only paying one.
it's not proportional.
So here's what And why is the progressive income tax a good thing?
It's because it's under the idea of you don't tax a guy's first house as much as you tax his second house or his third house or his fourth house.
Why is that, Jimmy?
Because you need the first house.
You need that house to live.
So that's why you don't tax the guy's first house as much as you tax his second.
You're supposed to tax the water in his heated swimming pool in his summer home more than you would tax his first house.
So that's, do you understand?
So you don't want to tax people on their necessities of life.
What you want to tax people on is their luxuries of life.
And that's why you have a progressive tax.
And here's one thing people don't understand about taxes.
So I've heard people say this.
They go, yeah, well, if I make any more money, they're going to put me in a higher tax bracket, so I'm going to stop right here.
The way the tax works is let's say you earn $200,000.
So you get taxed up to two.
So let's say you make another $1,000.
So now only that thousand over $200 gets taxed at a higher rate.
All the money underneath that gets taxed at the lower rate.
And people don't.
So if you make $1 million, all million doesn't get taxed at that million dollar rate.
Do you understand?
Am I being clear?
Yeah, yeah.
The other thing I would say, Jimmy, if people say, well, well, how come, you know, after I've done well, how come, you know, you're taxing my second home, my third home, my summer home?
I don't quite understand that.
The idea philosophically, anyway, is those who have made billions off of this system, those who have derived the greatest life benefit, should pay a little bit more back into the system that has brought this lifestyle along.
So these jillionaire Wall Streeters and all the rest, they have built this on this system.
And if they have no problem, at least there shouldn't be a problem, paying slightly, incrementally now, a percentage back into that system to drive it.
Also, if they really wanted to do something about tax reform, like they would make capital gains taxed at a higher level.
They would make corporate taxes higher to like the Reagan era.
They would make real reforms as opposed to just giving business a free-for-all.
Yes, so it's obvious that they're very transparent that they're not interested in real tax reform.
They're only interested in cutting taxes for corporations and rich people, meaning they're donors.
So they're responding to donors because regular people don't want a tax cut for millionaires and billionaires or corporations.
Regular people think they should pay more.
And another reason why they should pay more, people who make a million dollars or two million dollars or a billion is because when you're making that kind of money, you're using more resources from the society.
Right.
That's another way to say it.
So you use police now to protect all your stuff.
The fire department has to come protect all your stuff from getting that you use more roads.
All the workers that come to work on your house have to use the roads and the infrastructure and the hospital system.
So it's all set up.
You are using the power grid.
You are using the whole thing.
So we have an infrastructure or a country.
So you're using more of those resources.
And that's why you should also pay more.
Plus you have more.
Yeah.
No, really.
You don't take half of someone's first sandwich.
You take half of their third sandwich.
And that's the way the progressive tax system works.
And that makes sense.
So that was Ben Carson's idea, 10%.
So I buried the lead.
The first question of the night, they asked them about the minimum wage.
And here was Donald.
So there were people outside the debate hall in Milwaukee protesting for a $15 minimum wage.
Why would they want a higher minimum wage?
And it hasn't.
So they were asking for a $15 minimum wage.
Let's remember, we live in a country, the richest country the face of the earth has ever seen.
We have an economy twice the size of China.
But they don't tell you that.
But we have the biggest income disparity since the Gilded Age.
So half of all wage earners in America earn less than $30,000 a year.
And a $15 minimum wage brings you up to somewhere around $31,000.
So they asked Donald Trump, are you for The minimum wage.
I can't be Neil.
And the reason I can't be is that we are a country that is being beaten on every front, economically, militarily.
There is nothing that we do now to win.
We don't win anymore.
Our taxes are too high.
I've come up with a tax plan that many, many people like very much.
It's going to be a tremendous plan.
It's just, it's like he's doing a parody of himself.
Yeah, I know.
Many, many, many.
Many, many people, tremendous.
How am I supposed to be able to win when I can't even make a livable wage?
Say it funny.
He's funnier there than he was on SNL.
Yeah.
He was terrible on SNL.
Didn't watch it.
Our country and our economy are very dynamic, but taxes too high, wages too high.
I don't know if you heard what he just said.
I'm going to play it again.
I'll play this part one more time.
Tremendous plan.
I think it'll make our country and our economy very dynamic.
But taxes too high, wages too high.
We're not going to be able to compete against the world.
I hate to say.
So what he's saying is that Americans' wages are too high.
Why wasn't that line considered like a gigantic gas?
Why?
I can't believe it.
Frank, I did bury the lead.
So this was amazing.
This was the first question.
That's the first thing he said at the top of the debate: wages are too high.
And I hate to say it, but say it.
But we have to leave it the way it is.
People have to go out.
They have to work really hard and they have to get into that upper stratum.
So we're not going to raise your pay.
We're not going to give you a raise, but you have to go out and work really hard and try to get into that upper stratum, which is a nonsense sentence.
It doesn't mean anything.
And this is coming from the guy who got a million dollars from his dad.
So his dad.
This is a small loan.
Just to start off.
That's not a big deal.
So he could get into that next stratum.
So he's literally saying, he's literally saying, hey, vote for me and I'll lower your wages.
Vote for me and I'll drive Americans.
His economic plan is to drive down wages so our corporations can make the same profit here as they do manufacturing stuff in Bangladesh.
That's really his plan.
That's exactly right.
He's saying we're being beaten out by a foreign trade, right?
Well, I think I understand his plan now because if there is no wage increase, definitely my taxes will go down.
It's unbelievable that there's three business reporters sitting there.
His economic plan is to drive down wages of the American worker.
He just said it.
Jimmy, it makes perfect sense.
And they say nothing back to him.
But it hasn't even really been reported that much on any of the new cable news shows since then.
It just has been mostly uncommon that he said that.
There's more attention to the fact that Ted Cruz couldn't name a fourth or fifth agency that he would dismantle, which that sucks, but that's nothing compared to what Trump said.
And here's what people I think who are Trump supporters, here's how they get their head around this.
And I'm talking about those who are not Wall Streeters.
They say, well, he's not really talking about me.
He's talking about, he's trying to address business and how business can thrive in this country.
And business can be dragged down by high wages and high taxes.
And the reason I my only first-hand knowledge of this is as doing a talk show here in Southern California, when I was a proponent for the minimum wage, and I was pretty vocal about it, I got a tsunami of email and response saying, you don't know what it's like to run a small business and this is going to break us and all this kind of thing.
And I think that people who are Trump supporters hear it that way, that he's a champion for business.
And this is how to get, and once business thrives in this country, we'll all do well.
Well, that was the same argument that plantation owners gave.
Yes.
Exactly.
Were they wrong, though?
So I just want to give you a little, here's some.
Well, here's what Ben they asked Ben Carson the same question, and here's what he said.
People need to be educated on the minimum wage.
Okay, so I'm going to educate you, Ben, right now on the minimum wage.
More than 600 economists, including seven Nobel Prize winners, wrote, quote, in recent years, there have been important developments in the academic literature on the effect of increases in the minimum wage on employment, with the weight of evidence now showing that increases in the minimum wage have had little or no negative effect on the employment of minimum wage workers, even during times of weakness in the labor market.
Research suggests that a minimum wage increase could have a small stimulative effect on the economy as low-wage workers spend their additional earnings, raising demand and job growth and providing some help on the job front.
So that's Nobel Prize.
That's 600 economists.
They wrote a letter to Barack Obama talking him to urging him to increase the minimum wage.
And here's a little bit more.
You want to get educated, Ben?
When the minimum wage was increased in 1996 and 1997, the unemployment rate fell afterwards.
In June 2007, when the first of three annual minimum wage increases was implemented, the unemployment rate was unchanged until the great recession began six months later when Qual Street collapsed.
Economic research has found that when states raise their minimum wage higher than neighboring states, those states typically fare better than their neighbors.
Hey, just for shits and giggles, how about raising the wages with the cost of living and see what happens?
So here's what Ben Carson says.
Remember, he said we had to get educated.
So I just educated us.
Let's see what he said.
Let's see if he's been educated.
Every time we raise the minimum wage, the number of jobless people increases.
Okay, I just read you the stats.
Not true.
The exact opposite is.
So I got educated.
This is a doctor telling me I need to be educated in front of three business reporters who know that what he's saying is false and they say nothing.
It's particularly a problem in the black community.
Only 19.8% of black teenagers have a job.
And why would that be, you think?
We're going to tell you the surprising answer to why the unemployment rate is so high in the inner city.
According to Ben Carson, we're going to tell you the surprising answer to that in the second half of the Jimmy Dore show.
But right now, we're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
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Now let's get back to the second half of the show.
We'll see you next time.
Hey, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
We got a lot coming up in the second half.
Phone calls from Jeb Bush and Herman Kane.
We have an interview with Judah Friedlander.
You know him, you love him from 30 Rock.
Well, he's written a book and he's here to talk about it.
But right now, let's get back to the studio and join our discussion about the Republican primary debate that just happened on Tuesday.
And they were all talking about the need to lower the wages of the American worker.
Not kidding.
That was their refrain.
Donald Trump said they need to lower the wages so we can compete with other countries.
Ben Carson was in the middle of telling us that raising the wages for inner city black kids actually is what's hurting them.
So let's get back to the studio.
I'm joined by Frank Conner from Mystery Science Theater 3000, also from KFI Radio and The Edge Dash Show.
It's Emmy Award winner Mark Thompson, also from the Miserable Liberal blog.
It's Steph Zamarano and Michael Schertzer.
Let's join Ben Carson in explaining to us why unemployment is so high in the inner city.
It's particularly a problem in the black community.
Only 19.8% of black teenagers have a job.
And why would that be, you think?
19.8%.
Only 20% of black teenagers have a job.
What do you think?
Why do you think the reason is?
We're looking for one.
You know, and that's because of those high wages.
That's because of the high wages in the inner city.
You know, when you go there, you really clean up with those jobs and the high-wage jobs in the inner city.
They're all coming from everywhere to try to get the high-wage jobs in the inner city.
Yeah.
And there's such high wages in the inner city that nobody's got a job.
Nobody's work.
Eight out of 10 kids aren't working because their wages are so high.
This is literally, he's allowed to say this.
Hang on, he goes on.
If you lower those wages, that comes down.
So if you lower, so not only do they not deserve a raise, but he wants to lower the wages of black teenagers in America.
Yeah, I'm glad you guys brought this up because there's something I forgot what it's going to be.
It's going to be actually going to lower your minimum wage.
Yeah, we're going to lower it so you can work more for less.
I can remember as a youngster, you know, my first job working in a laboratory as a lab assistant and multiple other jobs.
But I would not have gotten those jobs if someone had to pay me a large amount of money.
But what I did gain from those jobs is a tremendous amount.
Yeah, so what you were a lab assistant, not a job.
You were a lab assistant.
You weren't.
Of course you were getting experience.
It's a little different than working at Carl's Jr.
Yes.
I mean, the experience that you're going to gain working at In-N-Out Burger is going to be different than the experience you're going to gain working in a lab as a technician where you're obviously in the course of a career.
You were a lab assistant because you had the education to get that entry-level job that was going to lead to a high-paying doctor's gig.
Yes.
You know, so it's making a little bit of money on that kind of a job is way different than making a little bit of money at Carl's Jr.
And plus he was making more money.
He was probably making above the minimum wage when he was a lab assistant.
Well, he's also implying that if that laboratory had to pay a higher minimum wage, they wouldn't have lab assistants.
They wouldn't hire them.
We got, hey, do you guys got any?
Hey, this is a nice laboratory.
Do you guys have any assistance?
No, we can't afford them.
No, we don't have any help.
Why?
Because you know what they want?
They want $15 an hour.
We're in here doing laboratory work.
This is science.
This isn't a welfare program.
So here we go.
Out of experience and how to operate in the world and how to relate to different people and how to become a responsible individual.
And that's what gave me what I needed to ascend the ladder of opportunity in this country.
That's what we now here comes the greatest statement about the minimum wage in the history of statements about the minimum wage.
Ready?
Here we go.
Here we go.
We need to be thinking about how do we allow people to ascend the ladder of opportunity rather than how do we give them everything and keep them dependent.
So what he's saying is, we don't want to have people be dependent on a job.
He says we should be helping them ascend, not keeping them dependent on a job.
What are you talking about?
Work.
They're now referring to minimum wage work as welfare.
As if people doing minimum wage jobs aren't working their asses off.
We don't want to give them everything and make them depend, give them $15 an hour for work.
For work.
They're going to work.
And just a quick reminder, everybody, this is the guy that Rupert Murdoch called the real black president.
The real black president.
You know what I'm saying?
Keeping them dependent.
And by the way, so once again, people vilify minimum wage workers.
Because somehow they're just as bad as being on welfare.
And guess what?
I don't, yeah, I go to fast food at restaurants and I'm appreciative that somebody is going to give me service.
And I get what?
My food in five, ten minutes?
Oh, my God.
We saw a billboard.
We were in New York City.
We were in New York City, and there was a billboard in Manhattan of a kid on a skate, like a skateboard kid.
He looked like he had headphones on.
He had a hat on backwards.
He had his shirt unbuttoned, and he looked like, you know, like a kid.
The caption was, it was against the minimum wage.
And it says, it was a quote.
Oh, really?
I don't have to pay attention to class and I still get to make 30 grand anyway.
So what they were saying is, look at this kid's a slacker.
He's not even working hard in school.
And that's why, and he still wants to make, no, he's going to work.
He only gets that $30,000 if he goes to work every day.
He's not a slacker.
He's a kid going to work for Chump Change.
So that was the weirdest.
And this is this whole demonization of the people.
They've moved the goalpost from it, you know, there's great dignity in having a job to you have a low-paying job, so fuck you.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's exactly right.
They're demonizing, if you will, the underclass.
The underclass has been created and now it's being demonized.
It's the demonization of poverty.
Yeah, it used to be just be happy that you have a job.
Now it's be happy that you have a high-paying job.
You have to have a high pay.
Here's what Marco Rubio says about the minimum wage.
Here's the best way to raise wages.
Make America the best place in the world to start a business.
Just start a business.
So if you don't like your job at Carl's Jr., it's really so easy to start a business.
Go start your own business.
Expand an existing business, tax reform, and regulatory reform.
Boom, there you go.
There's those two things.
Cut taxes and get rid of regulations and do that.
That's what helps poor people.
We'll have to cut taxes.
You know.
Bring our debt under control.
Fully utilize our energy resources so we can reinvigorate manufacturing.
Keep and replace Obamacare and make higher education faster and easier to access, especially vocational training.
For the life of me, I don't know why we have stigmatized vocational education.
Welders make more money than philosophers.
We need more welders and less philosophers.
Listen to the applause that gets.
Anytime you demonize thinking, you're going to get a huge round of applause at a Republican debate.
There's a philosophy.
We need more welders than philosophers.
Well, somebody tweeted out: average pay for a philosopher professor is like $120,000.
Average pay for a welder is $50,000.
Yeah, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
There's a shocker.
I mean, it's philosophical minds or the minds of people who have some worldview and philosophy that helps shape this country.
It's the demonization of education and intellect.
It's an anti-intellectual vibe that has been flowing through the Conservative Party since forever.
Right.
So here is Louis Gohmert with Neil Cavuto, and listen to what he says about what a great job they did.
I thought it was a terrific debate.
But let me just say, you were terrific.
You threw the ball up.
You let the candidates jump for it.
Yeah, you didn't ask any follow-up questions.
You let them say all the BS they could ever possibly say, and you just sat there and didn't thank them.
You threw the ball up real slow.
And that was good.
Yeah.
That's what we needed in the first Fox debate.
And you'll keep our word.
No, you didn't grow.
We can find a way to make money.
That was a good.
Did you hear what me?
Now, again, in jest, Neil reveals the truth once again.
He said to Ben Carson, well, I guess I'll just forget that follow-up question, which he did.
And then he just said that, hey, we told people we would keep our word this debate unless we could figure out a way to make money not keeping our word, which is exactly what they did.
They didn't hold their feet to the fire and they made a lot of money.
That's such a crazy admission that he would say that on live TV.
Fox Business is such a not-business channel that Neil Cavuto has to try to convince people that they actually care about business.
Ready?
Exactly.
Stick around.
You are watching Fox Business where we mean business.
We really do.
And then he laughs at the end.
You can't see it on the video, but he puts his head down and he's just cracking up.
He's like, could you.
Well, you know, a network is really serious when they start the day off with three hours of Don Imis.
Yeah.
By the way, no one watches Fox Business Channel.
I mean, they have big budgets and everything.
Yeah.
*Bell rings*
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Hello, Jimmy.
This is Jeb Explanation Point.
Jeb, Explanation Point.
How are you?
Well, did you see the Republican debate the other night?
Yeah, I did.
How do you feel?
I feel like a winner.
You do?
You think you did okay?
I did great.
High five.
What?
High five.
I don't understand.
What do you?
Come on, high five.
Don't leave me hanging, man.
Jeb, we're talking on the phone.
I can't high five you.
Oh, right.
You can owe me.
Okay.
Let me ask you something.
Do I sound low energy to you?
No, you don't sound low energy.
Thanks to that last debate.
My campaign has a new lease on life.
Like someone stuck a feeding tube down its throat.
I'm finally getting the hang of this debating business.
If I don't have anything to say, I say it anyway.
You know, during the debate, I'm not sure I understood what your economic platform was.
Oh, it's perfectly simple.
Lower corporate taxes, stop regulation, and don't raise the minimum wage.
That's a plan all Americans can get underneath of.
Yeah, I bet.
Hey, look, how did the debate affect your polling numbers?
Oh, I don't know.
I bet that I'm 50, 60, 70 points ahead of everyone else in the polls.
Woohoo!
Jeb, you mean you don't know?
Don't you have advisors that tell you?
Well, sure I do.
When I ask about my numbers, they smile and give me the thumbs up as they quickly leave the room.
How do you think the other candidates did?
Oh, I ran rings around them.
I was here.
I was there.
Before they knew it, I was right on top of them.
They couldn't make a shot.
I controlled the court by complaining they weren't giving me enough time.
You know, I heard Rubio say if he's attacked, he'll respond.
No, I'm just giving Marco Rubio the business.
Usually he pretends like he doesn't hear me, which is surprising with those satellite dishes on the side of his head.
Yeah, he does have large ears.
I don't understand why he's so down on the LGBT community when he looks like the Cuban cross-dresser who does my wife's hair.
Yeah, Jeb, I'm surprised to hear you talk like this.
Well, you better get used to it because this is the new edgier Jeb explanation point.
I'm taking the cashmere gloves off and reminding people that I'm the son of Barbara Bush.
People are saying you're not putting in the time to learn the issues, Jeb.
That's your kind of, that you're actually kind of lazy like your brother, and that you don't.
Blah, blah, blah.
What?
Look, this was supposed to be easy for me.
If you want someone who knows policy or knows why he's running for office or will fight for issues or speaks in complete sentences, elect someone else if that's what you want.
Yeah, they just might, Jeb.
Deep in my heart, I trust the American people.
I know the plebes will come to their senses and understand the natural order, accepting the WASP ascendancy of inherited authority and go through the formality of electing me, their president.
Republican voters are not like you, Jacoband Democrats.
Oh, I see.
Remember my new slogan, Jeb will fix it?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, they call me the fixer.
There comes a point in everyone's life when you have to step up, like rigging an election or killing baby Hitler.
Killing baby Hitler, you would kill a baby?
I do it.
Hell yeah.
You don't believe me?
I don't know, Jeb.
Give me a baby.
I'll kill it right now.
Okay, Jeb.
I need to let you go.
I'll stab it with a spoon.
We've been speaking with Jeb Bush, who is.
Somebody get me a baby.
Who is running for president?
Did you Tevo last night, Supergirl?
Ah, Jeb Bush, ladies.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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Send him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
And you spell Sean, S-H-A-U-N.
So our special guest today is a hilarious comedian I've known for many years.
We got the pleasure to first work together at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival, the HBO Festival in Aspen, Colorado, where all the good comedy happens.
We were on the opening night show at the Opera House.
Yeah.
It was you, Joe Rogan, Lewis Black, Lewis Black, and myself.
Yeah.
And I had the best set.
And so it was a fun show for me.
That was a great show.
That was a great show, right?
Because as far as Aspen goes, not necessarily the best comedy town.
Not necessarily.
Yeah, just the wealthiest white people in America on vacation.
And now let's give them some laughter and cutting-edge comedy.
But that night was surprisingly good.
Yeah, surprisingly good.
Now, the reason we have, now, if you're not familiar with Judah Friedlander, he's the world champion.
He is the world champion of the world, and I've known that since I've met him.
And he also, you might recognize him from his work on 30 Rock, which I was a big fan of.
And now I'm going to, I'll fix it in post.
What was the name of that movie I loved you in?
Oh, American Splendor.
And he was.
I like it better this way.
I like it better this way.
Okay.
I like the honesty.
American Splendor was such a fantastic movie.
That was when I first got you.
So you're a real actor and you're a real comedian, which is what I really respect also.
And here, I'm going to play a little bit just to, you know, when I first met you, you were just doing regular jokes and being funny.
And, you know, you always had your own voice.
But I saw this the other day a couple months ago on the internet.
And this was great.
I'm going to play it.
Welcome, Argentina.
Argentina, we have a lot of weird holidays in this country.
Do you have any weird holidays in Argentina?
Okay, that's cool, dude.
We have a lot of weird ones here.
We have Christopher Columbus Day.
Have you heard of him?
It's about Christopher Columbus.
He's the guy who discovered America, even though there was already a million people living here.
Thousands of years.
And he called them Indians because he thought he landed in India, but he fucked up and landed in America.
But they just kept calling them Indians, and then they pretty much slaughtered all the Indians.
And we have a holiday celebrating that guy.
It's kind of weird.
How should we really celebrate Christopher Columbus Day?
Here's a thought.
You know, when you're up in a big building on a high floor and you're going back down to the lobby, but the elevator's crowded and someone else has pressed floor three, but you weren't paying attention.
So when the elevator stops on floor three, you get off because you think it's the lobby.
And instead of realizing that, and then walking back into the elevator and admitting that you're a moron, and you're like, hey, guys, sorry, I'm a fucking idiot.
I wasn't paying attention.
I thought it was the lobby.
No, you don't admit it.
You just stay on floor three and you pretend it's the lobby.
And then you murder everyone on floor three.
That's how we should celebrate Christmas.
Just a thought.
Just a thought.
That was fantastic.
Yeah, just a thought.
So no, I love the fact that you have your comedy packs a punch, but you wouldn't know it at first glance, right?
So that's what I love about it.
You look like a funny comedian telling silly jokes, but there's a lot of stuff going on in that joke right there that I like.
Yeah.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah, that's definitely one of my better new jokes.
The past few years, I really started getting into, I wouldn't necessarily call it like a political comedian, but talking about different, you know, big issues and human rights issues and government oppression and big topics like that.
Like that, or like Columbus, just like that.
Now you have a book out, which is fantastic.
It's called If the Raindrops United.
Yeah.
And it's you, I didn't know you, you weren't, you were, you can draw.
Yeah, well, you know, I've had some criticism about my drawing, and I like it, and I think a lot of people like it.
But, you know, some people call it like simplistic, but I think things actually work better with things being, the drawings being simplistic because it's like these simple drawings, yet they have kind of big ideas behind them.
You know, and some are just comedy, but a lot of the book is, you know, kind of dark satire on serious issues, whether it's racism, sexism, classism.
Gentrification is a big theme throughout the book.
You know, I live in New York City, and I've lived way out in Queens for years, you know, a mile or two.
No, I moved back to the city to Manhattan about two years ago.
Do you have to kick out any poor people?
No, because there was already someone rich living in the apartment that I was living in.
Manhattan was the gentrification of Manhattan is many phases in.
It's like even Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
I lived there 20 years ago in about 95.
I lived there.
And back then, there was a sprinkling of artists moving in.
The neighborhood was mostly Polish and Puerto Rican, and then Jewish in one section, Hasidic Jewish in one section.
And then, you know, then more artists came in.
Then hipsters came in.
Trust funders came in.
And then they got displaced.
Now it's bankers.
Bankers.
Bankers have come in.
And bankers have already taken over Manhattan.
And when I was, you know, I first moved to New York in 87.
And, you know, banking industry has always been a big presence in New York City.
But it was never the entire city.
Right.
You know, and now it's pretty much all of Manhattan and a good part of Brooklyn.
Yes.
maybe half of Brooklyn.
So it's just...
So what?
So they spend their lunch hours at strip clubs addicted to Coke.
And they've turned investment banking into casino hopping.
Who cares?
Well, I've been saying for years, you know, corporations built this country.
And corporations, you know, there's actually a mini comic book in the book about gentrification man, who is the first superhero to stand up for the rights of the uber wealthy and corporations.
About time.
So you've got this book.
I love, you know, just perusing it, and I saw some of the, you have a great cartoon in here or a drawing that represents, because there's a homeless problem in America, and the government is trying to solve it.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you tell me about that?
Yeah, that's a drawing there that's loosely based on one of my stand-up bits.
And it's a drawing where it's basically you see, you know, basically hundreds of people in prison, and it says the American Way providing more free housing than any other country.
And if you think about it, we have 2.6 million people in prison.
Our government loves us so much.
It awards 2.6 million of its citizens free meals and housing.
And some of them get a lifetime supply.
They can't even say no.
They can't.
They're just going to give it to you.
That's big government.
Yeah, I can't think of, you know, Sweden doesn't do that.
You know, they have like maybe 250 people in prison.
You know, that's a government that's just not looking out for its citizens.
Now, this is great.
So this isn't, it isn't like a gigantic coffee table book, but this would be the kind of book you could have on your coffee table.
Yeah, it's because it's got, it's funny right away.
You just look at the picture and then it's funny.
Yeah.
There's a drawing and then a funny caption.
Yeah.
And since you're funny, it's funny.
Yeah, and the drawings are also conceptual, a lot of them, too.
Because, you know, sometimes you see cartoons and it's just two people talking and there's no visual joke.
You know, it's just the dialogue at the bottom that's the joke.
Right.
And a lot of the drawings in here, there's a visual joke.
Like how elevators work is one of the funnier things.
Oh, you like that?
Okay, thanks.
That's sort of like my comment on like, there's so many people.
You know, to me, especially like walking around New York City and even LA, you see it.
You know, there's so many people that just seem invisible to certain groups of people.
Like in LA, you know, kitchen workers, people that do valet.
And then in New York, it's, you know, guys working in the little mini supermarkets late at night, chopping vegetables.
It's like, they're just like invisible and they're working really hard.
Classism is a big theme in the book.
And in New York, Manhattan, when I say New York, I mean Manhattan.
You see it more than ever because almost everyone in like New York has this myth, I would say, now that it's the most diverse city in the world, the big apple, the melting pot.
But when you go to Manhattan, it's literally hedge fund CEOs living next to venture capitalists.
That's basically it.
And so you basically have an entire city where none of the teachers, cops, firemen, waiters, waiters.
People who work there live there.
Exactly.
And that's about that.
That's not a healthy dynamic.
But yeah, so I'm doing a here in LA tonight, 7.30 at Skylight Books in Silverlake.
I'm doing a signing.
Oh, great.
That's right.
That's tonight, Friday night.
Yeah.
And that's, it should be cool.
Basically, it's not my stand-up show.
I basically put on about an hour-long show, and it's a kind of a PowerPoint slide presentation of different drawings.
And I do sort of like a series behind the scenes talking about them.
And then I do a QA, and then I do a signing.
Oh, well, I will go to, you know what?
If I don't have a gig Friday night, I would love to check that out.
Honestly, that sounds like a lot of invitation.
Thank you personally.
And then do.
I can't make that with the after party or is there an after-party?
There's always a sex party after every event that I do.
And then I'm doing going all over, you know, New York, Toronto, Buffalo, Philly, all over the place.
And I'm a judafriedlander.com and at Judah WorldChamp on social media.
And then the book, if there's any bookstores left in America, hopefully they'll have it.
There are Skylight.
Yeah, yeah, they actually have it there.
I went there.
If the Raindrops United is the book by Judah Friedlander, the hilarious Judah Friedlander, the socially conscious, aware Judah Friedlander putting it into his comedy.
It's good to see you doing that.
Really worth it.
It's good to see you.
Thank you, dude.
Well, I've always loved what you do.
So this is a treat being here, man.
So we call our friend Herman Kane to get his take on the debate last night.
Hello?
Hello.
Is this Herman Kane?
Yes, it is.
Who's calling?
This is Jimmy Doerr from the Jimmy Door Show.
Jimmy D. Yeah.
I haven't talked to you in ages.
How you doing?
I'm doing good, buddy.
How are you doing?
How's your wife doing?
There's a lot more to that Herman Kane phone call, but we don't have time in today's show.
How do I hear the entire call?
You got to get the premium content.
And it's less than a cup of coffee.
It's $5 a month.
I'm not a math surgeon, but I'm pretty sure that's less than five cents a week.
Anyway, go over to JimmyDoorComedy.com, click on join premium.
And if you pay for the whole year at once, we give you a month free.
Okay.
So it's $5 a month.
Pay for the whole year at once.
You get a month free and you get access to all the great premium content like that Herman Kane phone call.
And, you know, lots of people have been saying, oh, you should drop this premium episode as a regular episode because it's so good.
Well, that's the whole point.
Big thanks to our special guest today, Mark Thompson from the Ed Show podcast and Judith Friedlander with his new book, If Raindrops United.
All right, check it out.
That's it for this week.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, Mark Van Landuitt, Steph Zamarano, and Michael Schertzer.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
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