Jimmy Dore Show - 20151003_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_10-2-15

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Oct. 3, 2015 - Jimmy Dore Show

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20151003_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_10-2-15

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	Hey, my new comedy special, Sentenced to Live, is premiering October 6th.
	That's this Tuesday on Hulu.
	Hulu.
	There'll be links over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
	October 6th, the new special.
	Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
	The Jimmy Dore Show.
	Hey, ladies.
	I just caught a glance of a few headlines on HuffPo.
	And I'm sure glad that this hard-hitting website is not only able to inform the public about world events that affect all of us, but they take the time to also highlight the most hideous spouses of celebrities.
	If they're not examining who has the ugliest spouse, I can always depend on being shocked by the newest photo of ill-fitting clothing on a beautiful woman that accentuates the reality of having an imperfect body.
	Gross.
	Or if I'm really lucky, I can catch a glimpse of a woman able to nurse two kids at once.
	Genius.
	I'm sure we all can agree that conservatives continue to wage a war on women's rights.
	But even our liberal news sites are far worse because of all their salacious links that sexualize and demean women.
	Not all women, just women who are ugly.
	Or once beautiful and now ugly.
	Or suffer from cellulite.
	All very newsworthy items.
	I guess it's hard to take women seriously when they're fat, ugly, and old.
	It's 2015 and we're still fighting to protect women's rights.
	Even this past week, House Oversight Chairman Jason Asswipe Chavet from Utah interrogated Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, which further highlighted that conservatives practice abstinence from facts.
	Cecile Richards responded to all the questions with clarity, facts, and poise.
	And by the conclusion of Jason Chavet's cross-examination of Cecile Richards, he was left with his dick in his hand and egg on his face.
	but it was an unfertilized egg on his face.
	Nice.
	Nice.
	Great job.
	It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
	The show for...
	...but-minded, lowly-livered lacties.
	The kind of people that are...
	It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
	It's hard to talk to you, T-Vale.
	And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
	It's Jimmy Dore!
	Hi, everybody.
	Welcome to this week's show.
	I'm joined on the phone all the way from New York City.
	You know him, you love him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
	It's TV's Frank, Frank Connip.
	Hi, Frank.
	Hello there.
	Yay.
	Also in the studio with me, hilarious Japanese man.
	You know him from Team Yasamura.
	It's Robert Yasamura.
	Hey, Robert.
	Ohio.
	Ohio.
	Our resident Latina is with her miserable liberal blog.
	It's Steph Zamarano.
	Hi, Steph.
	Hola, Jimmy.
	I am Mui Caliente.
	Yes.
	And also running the board for us, hilarious comedian Michael Schurzer.
	Michael, you got a show coming up?
	I do.
	October 9th, Malibu Playhouse.
	We got Mike Scully, who wrote for The Simpsons and Ian Edwards headlining.
	All right.
	So where do they go?
	MalibuPlayhouse.com?
	MalibuPlayhouse.org.org.
	Okay, for that big show, that's Friday.
	Saturday, we're doing Politicon.
	That's right.
	Looking forward to it.
	See you guys.
	See everybody at Politicon.
	What is that?
	October 10th.
	October 10th, we're doing Politicon.
	Not this Saturday, it's Saturday afternoon.
	Yes.
	What did I say?
	Frank, say that one more time.
	6 o'clock, right?
	Correct, 6 p.m. show.
	6 p.m. show.
	That's right.
	Come for the Bachman.
	Stay for the door.
	Yes.
	There you go.
	All right, let's get to the jokes before we get to the joke, shall we?
	Hey, did you know there was a lunar eclipse?
	Yeah, there was a big moon.
	What do they call it?
	Blood moon.
	Super moon.
	Super moon, because it was closer than ever, caused a lot of flooding in Florida.
	Yes.
	And I watched it, by the way.
	I looked at it up in the sky.
	It was spectacular.
	You know, it's almost as if there are better things to look at than your phone.
	Almost.
	You know, when there's an eclipse, Louis Gomert hides in his cave.
	I did know that.
	Yeah.
	He assumes there's a plague coming.
	He assumes it.
	Hey, did you hear Jeb Bush's Jeb exclamation said black people want to be given free stuff that they didn't earn?
	Leno, like how Jeb gave his brother the presidency in Florida in 2000?
	Hey, fun fact, every time Fox News uses the fair and balance logo, they send a residual check to George Orwell's estate.
	Hey.
	Good joke.
	Sad story.
	I'm going to let everybody down here.
	Did you hear the Pope Francis met with Kim Davis?
	Yes.
	So wait, wait a minute.
	So you're telling me that the Catholic Church isn't a progressive left-wing organization?
	Who knew?
	What?
	Who knew?
	I couldn't.
	I'm shocked.
	I hope the Pope's meeting with Kim Davis doesn't distract the Catholic Church from the fine work it does treating women like s***.
	He also met with nuns who are fighting Obamacare because they don't want to have to pay for birth control they'll never use.
	I still can't believe that he met with Kim Davis.
	I still can't believe that.
	And you know what his purpose was?
	It was because he feels very strongly that people are ever persecuted for their religious beliefs.
	And she wasn't persecuted for their religious beliefs.
	She was persecuting other people based on her own religious beliefs.
	The Pope's visit with Kim Davis is we're only hearing her side of it.
	The Vatican absolutely refuses to comment on it.
	And there's no actual evidence that the Pope had any idea who he was meeting with, why he was meeting with her.
	She might have just been on a line of people.
	And granted, you know, it's f***ed up that she managed to get into it.
	Yes.
	I know this kid who works at Sirius who waited four hours to see him and then, you know, and then saw him just as a speck on stage.
	And yet Kim Davis gets in to meet him.
	That's messed up.
	But it might have just she might have just been one person on a reception line.
	You know, it might not have been that big of a meeting.
	You know, I waited in line to see the Pope and it turned out to be Gallagher's brother.
	It was Pope, too.
	That's because, you know, that's why there was a Vatican, too.
	Yeah.
	The Vatican couldn't go and do all the gigs.
	Yeah.
	They had Vatican, too.
	And then it was a big split.
	Hey, did you hear that?
	Hey, did you see the footage of today's hearings in Congress?
	Did the ignorant GOP congressman.
	that were inter that were grilling the head of planned Parenthood?
	No, I thought I'd watch bum fighting instead because I figure it's a little bit more dignified.
	Well, turns out there finally is a disgusting Planned Parenthood video.
	Hey, did you know that they found water on Mars?
	Oh, yeah.
	And Trump and the GOP want to get a whites-only sign up there as soon as possible.
	Hey, what are Rush Limbaugh is denying that?
	He thinks that this conspiracy on the part of NASA to and he has no, he never explains, like, well, why would they say that?
	What is there to gain?
	He's like, I don't know.
	I know I always turn to Rush Limbaugh for my celestial understanding.
	Yeah.
	You know, he's a junkie.
	Yeah.
	He's a deaf junkie.
	He's a deaf junkie.
	Yeah.
	He'd be more excited if there was a Philippine whorehouse up there.
	Yeah, if there was a Viagra dispenser with OxyContin in it.
	Hey, we're going to talk to what's coming up on today's show.
	We're going to talk about the Pope and his stance on gay marriage.
	We're going to talk about what Carly Fiorina said in Planned Parenthood.
	We're going to actually talk about that and not just scream into the microphone for about five minutes.
	Jeb Bush at least is tax plan.
	Who does it really help?
	The rich or the middle class?
	The answer just may surprise you.
	Or will it?
	Plus, Afghanistan, hey, turns out they need more military help from us.
	Oh, no.
	Plus, there's a new speaker, and his name is McCarthy.
	Just what we need, another guy named McCarthy in the Congress.
	Plus, we got phone calls today from Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, John Boehner, and a lot lot more.
	us today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Hello?
	My name is Boehner.
	No longer speaker.
	Mr. Speaker?
	Not for long, mother.
	It's Jimmy Doar.
	Jimbo, my one gay friend.
	Wow.
	Why does everyone keep saying that?
	What can I do you for, Mary?
	Keep in mind, I'm nine fingers in on two fingers of scotch.
	Well, I just wanted to ask you about your decision to resign the speakership.
	Well, you mean the best goddamn thing to happen to me since Jesus and money?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, if you're so happy about it, why didn't you do this sooner?
	Because they wouldn't let me, man.
	They held one of my grandkids hostage for the last few years.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Who is the they?
	I think we all know who I'm talking about here.
	I swear to God, I don't.
	The organization that has no name, man.
	Still not getting it over here.
	The Republican shadow government.
	You know, the consortium of businessmen, religious leaders, Freemasons, and a sort of trailer trash that actually run the country.
	For real?
	No.
	I just voluntarily spent five and a half years being ass-fingered by my own party because I'm just funny that way.
	Yes, you have wit.
	But they let your grandson go?
	Sure did.
	Police found him wandering the streets of Akram the other day, asking to see the Tyre Museum.
	So you can finally resign now.
	And I finally get to tell Louis Gomert, Mike King, and all the rest of the Tea Party to tongue-paddle my orange Irish balls.
	And hey, pay attention to the one on the left, because, you know, he's the sensitive one.
	You really hated being speaker that much.
	Jimmy, take a look at the gaggle of defectives running the GOP nomination.
	Try to imagine getting that flock of idiots to decide what movie to see.
	Now multiply that by 50.
	And remember, a couple of them don't want to see a movie because they're huge dicks that way.
	Well, Mr. Speaker, if things are as bad as you're saying, aren't you worried about who might become next speaker?
	No, no.
	Don't care, Jimbo.
	I'm moving to Florida where I can plan to die in a drunk golf cart accident.
	Fucking blaze of glory, man.
	So do you have any idea who the next speaker might be?
	Well, I can tell you one thing.
	Bennett's a white guy.
	Yeah, your party really isn't deep with diversity.
	Not a lot of brown faces staring back at you.
	And what we are?
	Man, those are some weirdos.
	Have you listened to that guy, Ben Carson?
	I don't think that guy even knows he's black, and we're racist.
	Did you hear that thing where he was like, it's fine to fly a Confederate flag on private property?
	Wow.
	Way to semi-placate people who will never vote for you.
	When you defend crossburning, you'll really have them where you want them.
	Well, since you're on the subject, what do you think about the Republican field?
	Jimmy, you're asking me questions like I give a fuck.
	That debate stage could have had Hitler, Satan, and a potato.
	And all I'd say is, oh, well, I guess I vote potato.
	So what if the nominee turns out to be Donald Trump?
	I will increase my scotch intake while cutting out all pills high in blood pressure medication.
	Then I will await the sweet embrace of death.
	And if it's one of the Tea Party's candidates like Cruz or Rubio?
	See my previous instructions.
	Is there anyone who is there anyone you would support as the nominee?
	I already told you, man.
	The potato.
	Well, Mr. Speaker, what are your plans in the remainder of your time in office?
	Step one, lie about Planned Parenthood because that's what we're doing now, I guess.
	Step two, pass a budget.
	Then Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi.
	And Papa J has left the building.
	Boya Kasha.
	See, doesn't that bother you to attack Planned Parenthood, even though you know it's all based on lies?
	Jimmy, what part of I don't give a fuck do you not understand?
	Is it the don't?
	Is it the give?
	Or perhaps the fuck.
	Firstly, I'd think the Jesus people would be stoked if they could buy these body parts and build a Frankenstein fetus.
	But, you know, I'm a glass half-full kind of guy.
	Speaking of which, Pago, make with the ice and crack open other shit us.
	Don't go too far because I may need the bucket.
	Who's Paco?
	Who's Papa?
	I don't know.
	He's a houseboy or an intern or something.
	Listen, Jimmy, I gotta go.
	Well, okay, Mr. Speaker, you have something you need to do.
	Nah.
	Since this is the time of the evening when I sit in a darkened room and weep softly to myself.
	Okay, great to talk to you, sir.
	Yeah.
	Paco.
	Lights.
	And here we go.
	No.
	Okay, Speaker Bader.
	Wait, what just happened?
	I blacked out.
	The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
	Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
	And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
	Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
	Thank you.
	So we all saw the hearing in Congress about Planned Parenthood, right?
	So we all know that they've been.
	So anyway, I'm watching Lester Holtz News, and Lester Holt starts off like this.
	Good evening, abortion, one of the country's most divisive and politically charged fault lines.
	Okay, first of all, that's how the news always frames abortion.
	How do they frame it?
	Good evening, abortion, one of the country's most divisive and politically charged fault lines.
	Turns out, not so divisive.
	People aren't so split on that.
	For instance, USA Today's Suffolk University poll finds that Americans back government support for Planned Parenthood by more than two to one.
	So not so.
	So when Lester Holt says.
	Good evening abortion.
	One of the country's most divisive and politically charged fault lines.
	And it sounds like he's greeting abortion.
	Yeah.
	You know, like, good evening, abortion.
	Yeah.
	Good evening.
	Abortion.
	So he's creating a controversy.
	He's adding to the controversy on purpose.
	Right.
	Go ahead, Josh.
	Abortion is a winner for politicians.
	If you support abortion, you do well.
	Yes, if you support Planned Parenthood and a woman's right to choose, you do well.
	You're correct.
	In fact, two-thirds of those surveyed, 65%, say that funding should continue for Planned Parenthood.
	65% of Americans say funding should continue.
	So it's a super popular group.
	This is what I said when Scott Walker announced his candidacy and he announced his platform.
	And when we went over it on the show, everything that he was talking about is not only unpopular with the country, it was also unpopular with the majority of Republicans.
	So for instance, right here, Planned Parenthood, right?
	So 65% of the country say funding should continue for Planned Parenthood, which provides contraceptive cancer screenings.
	And only 29% say funding should be cut off.
	And Americans love – I cannot say that enough.
	You cannot say that enough.
	In fact, Americans, you know, Frank, you are right.
	They love Planned Parenthood so much that in an NBC Wall Street Journal poll released yesterday, 47% of the respondents said they felt positively about Planned Parenthood, which is a higher number than they felt about either political party or any of the presidential candidates.
	So Planned Parenthood gets a higher positive percentage rating in this poll, NBC Wall Street Journal poll.
	They get a higher rating.
	Planned Parenthood gets a higher rating than Barack Obama, who's next on the list, who's Barack Obama, 46% positive rating.
	By the way, he also supports Planned Parenthood.
	Who was next on that list?
	The Democratic Party was next on that list.
	By the way, they also support Planned Parenthood.
	Enjoying a 40% positive poll result is Vice President Joe Biden.
	The next guy on the list, Joe Biden, currently supports Planned Parenthood.
	So we got Planned Parenthood, Obama, Joe Biden, the Democratic Party.
	Those are the top four things in the survey with the highest positive positivity ratings.
	They all support Planned Parenthood.
	Hillary Clinton is next with the most positive ratings at 39%.
	She also supports Planned Parenthood.
	Well, I think Planned Parenthood should get renewed for another season.
	It's a very popular thing.
	Or run for office.
	Yeah.
	Let me also say this.
	And this is from an article in New York Magazine by Rebecca Tracer.
	It's that Hillary Clinton, you say, well, Hillary Clinton has high positive ratings.
	She also has high negative ratings.
	Yes, she does.
	Hillary gets some of the highest negative numbers in that poll, not as bad as Donald Trump, but just as bad as the Republican Party.
	Yep, that's right.
	Lots and lots of people hate Hillary Clinton, and they still like her more than anyone who wants to defund parenthood.
	Exactly.
	So the reason why people say it's polarizing, and we found this out, because the way they, when they ask questions, Robert, of people in the polls, here's the questions they normally ask.
	They would ask them this.
	Abortion, should it be legal in all cases?
	Abortion should be legal in most cases.
	Abortion should be illegal in most cases, or abortion should be illegal in all cases.
	Those are the questions they ask.
	Those aren't good questions.
	Since some of the polls also ask people whether they consider themselves in their policy positions to be pro-choice or pro-life.
	Well, there's someone named Tressa Undem.
	She's studied this, and she has more of a decade of experience conducting public opinion research for nonprofits.
	And she says there's a problem with those questions.
	She's in partnership with Vox.
	She recently conducted a detailed poll on the subject that tells quite a different story than the one you're typically seen reflecting in the headlines.
	And I'm getting this from Think Progress.
	She said on many topics related to abortion, Americans agree more than you might expect.
	For Fox, she asked respondents a series of questions about whether they believed a woman's abortion experience should what it should look like.
	So those are the questions.
	She asked these questions.
	If a woman wanted to have an abortion, would they want her experience to be, quote, comfortable, supportive, without pressure, non-judgmental, affordable, informed by medically accurate information, or without added burdens?
	Large majority of respondents, at least 69%, said yes for Each of those descriptors, suggesting there's consensus about how Americans want women to be treated after they choose to seek an abortion.
	This aspect of her polling is really groundbreaking.
	So she did a little different, she asked people different questions.
	So when a woman, so instead of asking them, do you think it should be illegal in all cases or illegal and all, she asked them, if when a woman goes to have an abortion, how do you think it should be handled?
	And if you ask those questions, turns out about 70% of people are on board for it.
	Also, there's an information gap happening when people, when they ask, when they poll people about abortion, people don't have the information they need to make an accurate decision.
	Shocking.
	So for instance, even among some of the people who indicated that abortion should be illegal in most cases, the people who would be categorized as pro-life, when they were shown a map of the United States and on the map, they showed each state and all the restrictions and all the restrictive laws about abortion that they had passed in each state.
	Those people who consider themselves pro-life or want abortion to be illegal in most cases, when they were shown that map, they gave responses like, that's bullshit, that's ridiculous, that's tragic, and I'm ashamed of our country.
	That's offensive, crazy, and disturbing.
	So let's just, I just wanted to get that out of the way.
	Abortion not as divisive as people make it seem.
	Yes, there's a 30% hardcore that are against abortion in America.
	There's also 30% who still, I think, approve of Dick Cheney.
	There's some people that you just have to let go.
	I don't know, Jimmy.
	I really like when men tell me what I can do with my body.
	I'm with you.
	So.
	By the way, the reason why people don't know things like that is because of people like Lester Holt.
	Yes, and yes.
	Lester Holt, that intro really ticked me off because he says point blank, this is a divisive issue, but doesn't get into, yeah, because it's by design.
	It's a wedge issue.
	Well, this goes into my next clip here, Robert.
	That's exactly right.
	Because here's how, so here's how they describe the problem why people are uninformed on this issue is because of exactly how they frame the issue.
	So now we all know what happened with the videos from Planned Parenthood, the anti-abortion group, deceptively edited together videos.
	Carly Farina referenced a video that wasn't even, had nothing to do with Planned Parenthood.
	It was just some stock footage that she found on the internet, had nothing to do with Planned Parenthood.
	The video she referenced doesn't exist.
	It doesn't even exist.
	It's not a real thing.
	Not a real thing.
	There's not a little baby somewhere lying on a table with chilling.
	So here is Leslie.
	So here's how Lester Holt and a lot of the other news people, how they frame the issue.
	It was her first time since a series of the head of Planned Parenthood went to testify in front of Congress, and here's how Lester Holt introduced the piece.
	It was her first time since a series of controversial undercover videos concerning aborted fetuses were made public.
	Controversial.
	So controversial undercover means it sounds like they found something out.
	And that's the controversy.
	But the controversy.
	That's a complete falsehood.
	What he just said.
	They were not undercover videos.
	They were false.
	Fictional videos.
	Yes.
	So here's some more.
	And then he throws it to a reporter who's doing a story on the head of Planned Parenthood testifying in front of Congress.
	And here's how she describes it: the videos.
	Planned Parenthood is under political fire from the campaign trail to the Capitol.
	Republicans want to strip its federal funding, stoked by controversial undercover videos made by an anti-abortion activist.
	Not a discredited, debunked, proven liar by an organization that has already had a track record of lying and deceptively editing, doing anything they can do to discredit Planned Parenthood.
	They don't say any of those descriptors.
	So that is a horrible news piece.
	Yes.
	That was a horrible introduction, horrible newspiece.
	Here's how you could, here's how you could describe it.
	Here's Rachel Maddow, and she actually had on the head of Planned Parenthood on it.
	Apparently, Lester Holt couldn't get her on because she was over at their cable station.
	So here is Rachel Maddow, and here's how she described it.
	The disingenuous nature, frankly, of the attacks that have been waged against Planned Parenthood.
	I know where they are coming from.
	I know the tactics of the groups that, you know, and I've seen what they've done in other anti-abortion tactics before they started coming after you in this way.
	I get it.
	So that's one way you can frame it.
	Like, yeah, I've seen this before.
	We know this is all lies.
	We know the tactics they use.
	I'm a reporter.
	I've seen this.
	You guys are busy working all day.
	I'll let you know about this group.
	I'll let you know about these people who do this because I've been around and I'm here to give you my experience as a reporter.
	And that's what I not like what, so what Lester Holt and that other reporter at NBC are doing is, well, I have to be neutral.
	I can't actually tell the facts.
	So you can be objective.
	You can, again, this is where they're replacing objectivity with neutrality.
	Because if you're objective, you could say, hey, objectively, that organization, they're all liars.
	They've been discredited.
	The anti-abortion organization.
	And you could also say, hey, those videos were deceptively edited and they don't show anything.
	In fact, there've been investigation after investigation of Planned Parenthood because of these videos and the criminal investigations.
	And they found nothing.
	They've been cleared in every investigation of wrongdoing.
	And you don't hear about that in the reports.
	And the media is going to continue to present this as a two-sided thing.
	And so just to put an exclamation on Robert's point about paying for abortions, Rachel Maddow also said this last night.
	I know, and people who pay attention to the facts here know that Planned Parenthood does not get money to do abortions.
	So that's a reporter saying, I know, and people who pay attention to the facts here know that Planned Parenthood doesn't get money to pay it.
	But you'll never hear another reporter on a mainstream news show, I mean, say something like that.
	They go, well, Planned Parenthood says they don't get it.
	They say they do.
	That's how they report everything.
	We're up against a break.
	We got a lot coming up in the second half.
	Chris Christie calls in Jeb Bush and a lot more, but right now, we are up against a break.
	We'll be right back in one minute.
	This is the Jimmy Doer show on Pacifica.
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	And thanks to everybody who already Does that.
	And now let's get back to the second half of the show.
	Thank you.
	Hello, Governor Chris Christie.
	Who wants to know?
	It's Jimmy.
	Jimmy?
	Four-finger Jimmy?
	Jimmy the shock?
	Jimmy One Times?
	Which fucking Jimmy?
	This is Jimmy One Times.
	Jimmy One Times?
	Yeah, you say everything one time.
	No, no, no.
	This is Jimmy Dore.
	Oh, Door.
	What do you want?
	I just wanted to know how your campaign for president's going.
	Good, whatever.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, you don't sound too happy, buddy.
	I got food poisoning eating in a hometown buffet.
	My bedroom looks like Hurbicane Sandy hit it.
	Sorry to hear that, buddy.
	And women say men, well, not about all the agony of childbirth.
	It sounds like the bottom's falling out of your world.
	More like the world's falling out of my bottom.
	Governor, I called to find out what you think of your fellow candidate, Scott Walker, getting out of the race.
	Who?
	Scott Walker.
	He's the governor of Wisconsin.
	All right, Walker.
	Barrel of laughs in the green room.
	Always asking if he can get his pocket validated.
	No, I didn't notice him saying nothing.
	He called for the other candidates to drop out of the race so voters can focus on just a few.
	I ain't dropping out of the race.
	I ain't going anywhere.
	Do you really think you have a chance against Jeb Bush, who has the big money donors and the party machine?
	Come on, we both know the Bush family doesn't have that kind of muscle anymore.
	I talked to the Bozzini and the Colks and the Addisons.
	They say stay in the race.
	But you're polling far below candidates like Carly Fiorina.
	Carly Fiorina.
	My you stupid have more meat than her.
	And Ben Carson's polling better than you.
	Carson?
	The guy who looks like they woke him up in the middle of a nap?
	The guy who, when he speaks, his voice is in his head.
	Yeah, yeah, I guess that, Ben Carson.
	Jimmy, I know you're a naive pansy liberal who does not understand the ways of the world.
	But one day I will explain to you why Republicans will never vote for Mulan John.
	See, to me, that's more offensive.
	Anyway, we survived.
	I don't like that offensive talk.
	Who are you, the Pope?
	Governor, with Donald Trump and the debates, you haven't been getting any media attention.
	Listen, Doe.
	In the next debate, I'm going to make a big impression.
	I'm coming and punching.
	I'm going to raise the stakes and eat them.
	I see.
	The Chris Christie campaign is getting second-winded.
	I'm not playing around anymore.
	Lomangio Filione Colazione.
	I don't know what you're saying.
	Everybody go to my new campaign website.
	WWW.
	Chris Christie, if you know what's good for you.org.
	Don't bother disabling your browser cookies.
	I hate all of them.
	Okay.
	I need to run.
	My stomach is giving me a hurricane advisory one.
	Okay, okay, Governor.
	I'm going to let you go.
	Listen, we've been speaking with presidential candidate Chris Christie.
	No more bathrolls.
	Where's your towels?
	The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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	And you spell Sean, S-H-A-U-N.
	So Kevin McCarthy looks like he's going to be the next Speaker of the House after John Boehner retires.
	And yes, America, that's just what we need.
	Another McCarthy in Congress.
	I predict the term McCarthyism is going to make quite a comeback.
	So what happened with Kevin McCarthy was that he made a gaffe told the truth about the Benghazi hearings.
	He was on the Sean Hannity show and he was desperately trying to please Sean Hannity.
	While he was desperately trying to please Sean Hannity, Republican Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy openly admitted that politicizing the Benghazi killings was only about doing political damage to Hillary Clinton.
	What you're going to see is a conservative speaker that takes a conservative Congress that puts a strategy to fight and win.
	And let me give you one example.
	Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right?
	But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee.
	What are her numbers today?
	Her numbers are dropping.
	Why?
	Because she's untrustable.
	But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not agreed and made nothing good.
	I give you credit.
	I give you credit for sequestration.
	I give you credit.
	I'll give you credit where credit is due, but here's...
	I like the way he says untrustable.
	Hey, just letting you know I'm in the true Bush line where I can't speak English real good.
	McCarthy did promise that he will only assemble special committees when he's speaker.
	He will only assemble special committees about Democrats, but only if that Democrat is considered an unbeatable candidate whose numbers need to drop.
	You know, he's so aggressive in taking down Hillary, they've offered him a job at the New York Times.
	You know, I like that he said a conservative speaker that takes a conservative Congress that puts a strategy to fight and win.
	That's what he said.
	Yeah, that's a strategy of mendacious wastes of taxpayer money in an attempt of creating the appearance of a scandal for political ends.
	Yeah, that's what he's what he's saying he's going to do.
	I love how he says, let's listen to that again.
	That's the bubble within D.C. and particularly within Republican D.C., is that nobody apologizes for that.
	That's considered the way things are done, that they are interested in winning much more than policy.
	Yeah, oh, but that's exactly what this is.
	That's why Mitch McConnell is the majority, the Republican majority leader in the Senate, because he is Known for that.
	He doesn't believe anything.
	No.
	So here, let's listen to it again.
	What you're going to see is a conservative speaker that takes a conservative Congress that puts a strategy to fight and win.
	And let me give you one example.
	Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right?
	But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee.
	What are her numbers today?
	Her numbers are dropping.
	Why?
	Because she's untrustable.
	Yes.
	So what this doofus is saying, hey, I knowingly exploited a tragedy and hold congressional hearings based on falsehoods for the sake of doing political damage.
	But she is shifty.
	She is shifty.
	And he's talking like Hillary's already lost.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Look what we did.
	We beat her.
	And he's also talking like Bernie Sanders doesn't exist.
	Right.
	Like it's like, yeah, it's the Congress that's bringing her numbers down.
	See, unlike the original Joseph McCarthy, Kevin McCarthy needs some serious lessons on not letting the cat out of the bag.
	So here he is letting the cat out of the bag.
	It's unbelievable, right?
	By the way, the Benghazi Special Committee is the longest-serving appointed special committee in the history of the Congress.
	It's cost $3.5 million thus far.
	Yes.
	And it's probably done more hours than any Iraq investigation ever.
	Yes.
	And I look at it.
	I'm looking forward to hearing tomorrow morning, hearing Morning Joe justify all this.
	Yes, exactly.
	And so you know what else is going to happen here?
	First of all, Frank, he's right that the House efforts to screw over Hillary Clinton really did her in because now she's still the Democratic frontrunner.
	Exactly.
	And she would probably win head to head against anybody in the current Republican party.
	You know, for Republicans, Benghazi is still the worst scandal since Planned Parenthood started giving health care to women.
	It's true, and you hear this on top of...
	Yes.
	You know.
	And also not based on any reality that we're aware of.
	You know, well, I stopped watching because congressional hearings are such nonsense.
	They have no interest in fact finding.
	I stopped watching congressional hearings a long time ago because it's basically just congressmen pontificating over the experts they invited to give testimony.
	So Kevin, I'm just this in Robert.
	Kevin McCarthy's office just issued a statement telling everybody not to listen to Kevin McCarthy and please excuse him from PE class because he can't tie his shoes.
	So what's going to happen, it's already happening.
	I saw our good friend Luke Russard already talk about this and he said, yes, this is definitely a gaffe, but it won't hurt him.
	He'll still be Speaker.
	And again, you know why it's not going to hurt him?
	Because guys like Luke Russard aren't going to hold his feet to the fire about being 100% corrupt and revealing it.
	They're going to look at this.
	They're going to giggle when they talk to him about this.
	Wasn't it funny how you accidentally let your stupid plan to corrupt government out on television and everybody knows it?
	But we all know it's just a political game, right?
	You guys are playing a game.
	You screwed up and told the truth.
	I'm not really going to hold your feet to the fire because we're all pals and we all work for the same people.
	And that's he is going to be speaker.
	This isn't going to.
	He just let out that the person they've been trying to hang since they got control of the Congress, which is Hillary Clinton, they just revealed that everything they're doing is unethical and corrupt and a complete waste of money and time and they're not solving problems.
	They're using the Congress for political witch hunts, which they know to already be false.
	So he revealed all that and Luke Russert, the tough political reporter he is, says, I don't think it's going to hurt him.
	He doesn't, you know why?
	Because you're not going to ever say anything about it.
	Right.
	Right.
	If he interviews him, which he will, because he, you know, he had a great relationship with John Boehner.
	Yes, he did.
	He bragged about how well they got along.
	So he's going to try to get along with this guy.
	And like all of the media, they're going to treat him as if he's not a complete idiotic douchebag.
	Right.
	Man, what a fun gag, though.
	You know, he tried to have a political hit job just for a goof.
	Can I give you a little fun fact about McCarthy?
	Kevin Spacey shadowed him around capital to study for the role of Frank Underwood for House of Cards.
	Yeah, that was the guy he shadowed, right?
	The horrible, murderous character on the banks.
	So what you're saying is that Kevin McCarthy has three ways with his assistant and his wife.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	Ooh.
	No!
	So Jeb Bush released his tax plan.
	And let me just say, Jeb Bush is committed to helping the downdrought and rich.
	It's a real problem, you guys.
	His tax plan, get this, would cost the government $3.4 trillion in lost revenue.
	And guess who gets the bulk of those tax cuts?
	You guessed it.
	51% of those tax cuts of all that tax cut money goes to the richest 1%.
	What?
	Yes, over half of all the tax cut savings go to 1% of the people.
	Do these guys have anything else besides taxes?
	No, we're still living under the Bush W, the W Bush tax.
	If tax cuts created jobs, we would be swimming in jobs.
	My God.
	Let me just say that again.
	We're still living with the George W. Bush tax cuts.
	So typical taxpayers would get tax cuts that raise their after-tax income by amounts ranging from somewhere between 1.9% to 4.3%.
	So like if you're a single guy making $50,000 a year, your after-tax income will go up 1.9%.
	If you're a married couple making $10 million a year, your after-tax income will go up 4.3%.
	But if you're a taxpayer earning over $10 million a year, your after-tax cash flow will go up 6.8%, if not more.
	Jesus.
	So here is Mike Wallace from Fox News, and it's amazing.
	Chris Wallace.
	Here's Chris Wallace, the bad Wallace.
	And over at Fox News, it's amazing.
	I got to be honest.
	It's some of the best reporting is being done by Fox News because for some reason, they're not afraid to push back on these guys.
	And so here's Mike Wallace talking to Jeb Bush about his tax plan, giving all the benefits to the upper 1%.
	Let's enjoy it.
	Look, the benefit of this goes disproportionately to the middle class.
	If you look at what the middle class pays today compared to what they would pay in our tax- But they get a 2.9% increase in after-tax because higher-income people pay more taxes right now.
	And proportionally, everybody will get a benefit, but proportionally they'll pay more with my plan than what they pay today.
	Well, I mean, forgive me, sir, but 2.9 seems like it's less than 11.6.
	First of all, I love that a reporter, even while asking a question, he has to beg forgiveness.
	Yeah, forgive me, sir.
	Forgive me, Sir, but your math doesn't add up.
	And I'm just talking about math.
	I don't mean to disagree with you or cross you or anything.
	I know the big donors love you.
	So that is kind of sad that a reporter feels a need to have to say that.
	Let's listen again.
	And with my plan, then what they pay today.
	Well, I mean, forgive me, sir, but 2.9 seems like it's less than 11.6.
	The simple fact is 1% of people pay 40% of all the taxes.
	And so, of course, tax cuts for everybody is going to generate more for people that are paying a lot more.
	I mean, that's just the way it is.
	That's just the way it is.
	When we institute a tax cut, most of it goes to the richest people.
	We've been sticking it in your ass for decades, and that's just how it is.
	We stick it in your ass, and you just take it.
	That's how it goes.
	That's why we have a big income disparity right now.
	That's why, after my tax cuts from my brother, we have the shrinking middle class and 50% of all wage earners earning less than $30,000 a year.
	That's why.
	It's the way it, how is it?
	I have no choice, but like my brother, I'm going to bring about an incredibly dire economic crisis that will almost ruin the country.
	That's just the way it is.
	That's just the way it is.
	It's the way it's always been, Frank.
	I mean, come on.
	What he's doing, though, is he's playing with the math in such a way where he's making it sound like because the top 1% does pay 50% of the taxes or whatever, that they're logically, as a group, getting a bigger tax break.
	But what Wallace is saying is that, no, individually.
	Yes, they're getting a bigger tax break.
	And so what he's doing is he's just playing with the semantics.
	And he's acting.
	And Jeb is acting like you can't just structure your tax cuts like, hey, maybe we raise the taxes on the richest people and we lower them on the poorest people.
	We could do that.
	You don't have to just institute a tax cut for everybody.
	You don't have to do that.
	You could just keep the taxes maybe in the higher, on the upper bracket, the where it is.
	Maybe you lower it on the lower.
	Who knows?
	But here, here's some.
	I got a crazy idea.
	Why don't you go back to the Clinton taxes?
	So, yes.
	Why don't you lying to people and telling them that you can fix the deficit while lowering taxes?
	So here is somebody made a vine of Jeb Bush about that answer, and here it is, ready?
	It's great.
	Tax cut for everybody is going to generate more poor people that are paying a lot more.
	That's just the way it is.
	Tax cut for everybody is going to generate more poor people that are paying a lot more.
	And that's just the way it is.
	Tax cuts for everybody is going to generate more poor people that are paying a lot more.
	And that's just the way it is.
	Wow, it's combining two things I hate a lot.
	So I thought it seems to me the reason that you get sometimes you get tougher questions from Fox News reporters like Chris Wallace.
	And for instance, the questions at the GOP debate when Fox News did it were tougher than the ones when Jake Tapper did it.
	Yes.
	And the reason that is, is because Fox News is not worried about people accusing them of being liberal.
	Right.
	You're right.
	CNN and NBC are terrified that they're going to be called lists.
	So they always ask really lifeless questions that let conservatives off the hook because, you know, and by the way, at the CNN debate, they had a UEWIT and no equivalent of him on the progressive side at all.
	They're also not worried that anybody's going to call them journalists.
	But I have to say that Fox News as journalists, they're not, they don't stand out to me from CNN and MSNBC as being considerably worse.
	I think they're all in the same category.
	And I think we spend so much time talking about how awful Fox News is.
	It distracts us from the fact that the entirety of the media is broken and MSNBC and CNN have moments that are every bit as bad as anything on Fox News.
	Oh, yeah.
	George Bush was asked recently about the team name Redskins.
	Sure.
	He was asked right after the owner of the Redskins made a $100,000 donation to the Super PEC.
	Cheb Bush did.
	Yes.
	So what Jeb said when he was asked about it, he said, we had a similar kind of flap with FSU, meaning Florida State University.
	If you recall, the Seminoles and the Seminoles tribe itself came, kind of came to the defense of the university and it subsided.
	It's a sport for crying out loud.
	It's a football team.
	Washington has a huge fan base.
	I'm missing something here, I guess.
	Yeah, I guess what you're missing.
	It's weird.
	It's rare that you hear a politician actually say, I think I might be not understanding this situation at all, but I'm going to talk about it.
	We're going to talk about it.
	So pretending that the word Seminoles and the word Redskins are equal is like pretending that the word African American is equal.
	Oh, one is an accurate description and one is a slur.
	Right.
	Right.
	Right?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	One, one is an accurate description and one has been used to keep people down.
	Right.
	Right.
	So those would be the difference.
	And I guess that's what when Jeb says, I'm missing something here, that would be the thing he's missing.
	Oh, I thought it was just like compassion, understanding of social structures, things like that.
	So anyway.
	Hello.
	It's Jeb Bush here.
	Who's this?
	How can I help you, Bob?
	Vote for me, please.
	Governor Bush, it's Jimmy Doer.
	Oh, hey, Jimmy, how are you?
	It doesn't sound like you're too happy to hear from me.
	Oh, it's nothing personal.
	Don't worry about it.
	I've just been under a lot of pressure lately.
	And let's be honest.
	I mean, I think you and I both know that you are yet another person that is not going to make things easier for me in any regard or respect.
	Well, no, Governor, it's my job to actually ask questions.
	Yeah, well, from where I'm sitting, it sure seems like a good time to be in that particular line of work.
	I personally don't see why all these people seem to need to ask so many gosh derned questions all the time.
	Right, I get you.
	I mean, these people are insatiable.
	The whole media is like a bunch of hungry, hungry hippos.
	You know, instead of little plastic balls, they're trying to get straight answers out of people.
	It's a sickening display, really.
	Well, like you predicted, I'm going to be no different.
	Well, dang that.
	Okay, so what I wanted to ask you first is.
	Oh, please don't say taxes.
	Yeah, it's your tax plan.
	Motherfucker.
	What?
	You just unveiled it.
	People are going to scrutinize it.
	I guess.
	What do you want to know about it?
	Well, the same thing, Eric, as everyone else wants to know.
	How do you justify calling it middle-class tax relief when the lion's share of tax savings are going to go to the wealthiest 1%?
	Well, Jimmy, the top 1% of Americans pay the most taxes.
	So when taxes are cut, they will get the lion's share of the goodies.
	I mean, that's just how the cookie crumbles into the lemonade that you make when life gives you money lemons.
	So the top 1% pay the most of the taxes?
	Well, just about, yeah.
	Isn't that because they have most of the money?
	Well, hey, now, that's class warfare.
	That isn't fair.
	That's dirty pool.
	Wait a minute.
	How does A not imply B here?
	I don't understand.
	Well, look, the top 1% is hurting, Jimmy.
	How could that be possible?
	By definition, it's the top 1% in the wealthiest nation in the world.
	Well, there is a lot of fiscal insecurity in that sector of our population, Jimmy.
	We can't just turn a blind eye to it.
	How so?
	How so is there a lot of insecurity?
	Well, I talk to a lot of these folks, and they're worried.
	They confide in me and they trust me, and many of them have told me that they are concerned that some of their great-great-great-great-grandchildren won't be able to afford a college education.
	Uh-huh.
	Not all of them, of course, but the youngest sons of the youngest sons and so on because of primo janitor and whatnot.
	Right.
	And some of these poor families, Jimmy, you're not going to believe this, but some of them are having to double up on their private jets or go half-sees or whatever, like cattle or lepers or leper cattle.
	They have to find some other family that's looking to go to Palm Springs for the weekend and jetpole with them.
	I mean, jetpooling?
	This is a new low.
	Welcome to Obama's America.
	Okay, this is making me a little ill.
	Let's change the subject.
	There's something else I wanted to ask you about.
	Shoot!
	Well, it's not exactly a campaign issue per se, Governor, but it seems instructive as to who you are and what you are about.
	Oh, I already don't like this question one bit.
	You seem to have publicly stood by the decision of the Washington Renskins to retain its name, which is, of course, a racial epithet.
	Oh, this old kerfuffle.
	Jimmy, I really don't see the big deal about this.
	Really?
	You don't see the big deal about a major sports franchise in our nation's capital using a name that is patently offensive to Native Americans?
	Well, of course not.
	I mean, we had the same deal down here in Florida, you know, where some people got their loincloths all twisted into bind because of the Seminoles, you know, that team name.
	But most of the actual Seminoles, or, you know, you know, what's left of them came out in defense of the name, actually.
	So, you know, I don't, you know, I don't see why different people are different.
	You and I both know there's a lot more to that Jeb Bush phone call, but it's in this week's premium content.
	What else is in this week's premium content?
	We're going to tell you.
	We did a little digging and we found out what the Pope really thinks about the gays and the gay marriage.
	And we might have, we might, what we found just might surprise you, or will it?
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	Hey, my friend Jeff Tate is hilarious.
	And if you're up in the San Francisco area, he's doing a place called Docs.
	And Jeff is hilarious.
	His website is justanotherclown.com.
	Check him out if you're in the San Francisco area.
	That's October 5th at Docs Lab in San Francisco.
	Okay, we'll see you at Politicon, October 10th.
	And so, and if you're in Cincinnati and you're listening to this on Friday or Saturday, I'm here in Cincinnati, Friday and Saturday.
	So come see come see the show over at GoBananas.
	All right.
	That's it.
	Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuit, Robert Yasamura, Frank Conniff, Steph Zamarano, and Michael Schertzer.
	All the voices today perform by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.

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