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Aug. 29, 2015 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:31
20150829_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_8-28-15
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Hey, everybody, in the Baltimore area, September 10, 11, 12.
I'll be there telling jokes at Magoobi's Joke House.
There's linked for tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com, September 10, 11, 12.
Now let's get to the show.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, America.
It appears we are a God-fearing, gun-toting, xenophobic country.
Hooray!
Sure, many Americans enjoy chip salsa margaritas or going to their favorite Chinese restaurant, but that is where our love for diversity stops.
According to Trump, aka fascist pig.
No employment opportunities?
Blame the Mexicans and build a great wall to keep the riffraff out.
Stock market takes a turn.
Those Chinese are screwing our economy.
Hate the Iran deal.
Solution.
Invade the Middle East and take what's ours.
All of the oil.
And the free market will regulate itself.
It's just that easy.
I don't know.
I really don't know if I can take much more of Donald Trump's hateful vitriol.
Donald Trump kicked out a journalist from one of his Q ⁇ As and the press coward.
Donald Trump commanded with a slight nod for his bodyguard to shove a Mexican journalist out of the room and the press watched and allowed it to happen in America.
Then, when questioned about his behavior, Donald Trump flat out lied.
Yeah.
He lied again and again about not knowing the journalist's name or his position or that he worked at Univision and he lied about not even knowing his own bodyguard's name.
You know, the same man who escorted Jorge Ramos from the room.
Every journalist sitting in that room failed to take Trump to task.
And why is that?
First, they built a wall.
Then they came for the Mexicans.
Then they came for the journalists.
Then they came for the Chinese.
Then they came for the babies.
And when they came for you, no one was left except the fascists.
Yeah.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for up-minded, lowly-livered lapdies.
The kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's Roger Popper T-Value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I am joined on the phone from New York City.
You know him, you love him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conoff.
Hi, Frank.
Hello there.
Yay, great to hear your voice.
Also in the studio with me, you know her from the blog, The Miserable Liberal and the host of Comedy and Everything Else.
It's our resident Latina, Steph Zemarano.
Hi, Steph.
Hola, Jimmy.
Yes, all right.
Well, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
You know, it's been 10 years since Katrina?
10 years since Katrina.
It's amazing how every Bush administration anniversary is a remembrance of incompetence and disaster.
Every single one.
Every single one.
Wow.
Hey, you know, Dick Cheney's going to be giving a speech on the Iran nuclear deal tomorrow at the American Chutzpah Institute.
Yes.
Takes a lot of calls.
You know, Trump's, his rally in Alabama, it fell short of Nuremberg in terms of numbers, but it really lived up to it in terms of content.
Yeah, there was a lot of empty seats at Trump's Alabama rally.
So many empty seats that Trump, out of habit, filed papers in an Atlantic City bankruptcy court.
If you're a reporter or a journalist and you've interviewed Donald Trump and he isn't spewing the kind of vitriol at you that he spews at Megan Kelly, you probably suck at your job.
He seems right at home with the Beltway Media Trump, doesn't he?
He orders them around.
I think it's because there's always horrors hanging around in casinos, which is why Trump is very comfortable with the Beltway media.
He is.
He's used to horrors.
Yes, he is.
David Duke supports Trump.
He came out supportive Trump.
And you know, David Duke's support of Trump means he's in line for a Maureen Dowd column where she logs his refreshing straight talk.
And they're feuding again.
Roger Ailes, Donald Trump, they're feuding.
And you know, if Roger Ailes bans Trump from Fox News, he'll only have CNN, MSNBC, Sunday shows, and the New York Times as a form for his hate speech.
So he better play, better play careful.
I can't believe, have you noticed MSNBC airs all of Trump's press conferences from gavel to gavel from start to finish?
And then all of Trump's speeches in two.
And then a panel discussion on Trump's speeches.
I wonder why Trump is doing so well in the poll.
Infomercials, basically.
They're basically infomercials.
The poll show Trump has a high favorability rating among dipshit rubes desperate for a bigoted wife raping demigod to lead them.
You know, you might not like Trump, Frank, but you have to admit he makes the racism run on time.
Am I right?
He does.
You know, Jimmy Carter, sad news, Jimmy Carter has brain cancer.
And yet, this might seem odd.
He's the only politician I saw on TV all week who doesn't seem sick in the head.
It's true.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Donald Trump sends a Mexican reporter back to Univision, and the other reporters stand there and take it like a man.
We're going to check in with how the media covered some of that.
Plus, Republicans, are they moving farther to the right or are Democrats moving farther to the left?
The answer just might surprise you, or will it?
Bruce Bartlett, former Ronald Reagan advisor and Bush White House advisor, talks about which party is truly out of their minds.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Hillary Clinton calls in.
Tuesdays with moron and God calls in.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Bye.
We'll be right back.
This portion of the show is brought to you by Zilch.
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I was watching MSNBC's coverage of Trump.
If you turn on NBC at any given time during the day, they'll be covering whatever Trump does live.
And then they'll be scratching their head as to why he's really resonating with people after they give him a 24-hour reality television show called Trump Says Crazy Things.
It should be also entitled, I mean, nobody seems to be really mentioning that.
We have a personality disorder running for president.
Yes.
Which is, and they still keep.
That's not a lie.
That's true.
They still keep trying to figure out why Trump is resonating with people and who he's resonating with.
And we're going to tell you exactly why and who that is coming up.
But I was watching MSNBC cover.
And this was immediately after Donald Trump threw out Ramos and told him to go back to Univision.
Because Ramos, he committed the one sin that Trump will not stand for.
He committed an act of journalism.
And so Trump had him thrown out immediately, right?
So he had this guy.
He's like about 6'7 come over.
He's got a shaved head.
He looks like Lurch.
And literally, that's exactly what the guy.
And he takes the guy out, right?
And you can hear Ramos saying, get your hands off me, don't touch me.
But then he just let him touch him and put his hands on.
Like, if you're, anyway, if I was Javier Ramos, I would have started punching that guy.
I would like to see Trump's bodyguard hit me.
But he didn't.
He walked out.
So here's the MSNBC reporter.
Katie Tour.
Her name is Katie Tour.
And here how she describes Trump's bodyguard.
Ready?
So who's the born guy?
Who's the lung, Katie?
That's his body man.
That's his body man.
He's actually a very nice guy, I should say.
No, but it's his body.
I don't know.
Did you hear that, Frank?
Yes.
Yes, he's actually a very nice guy, I should say.
Oh, yes, he's a really nice, strong-armed bully who pushes people around for money.
You know, yeah.
One thing, Frank, every one thing everybody agrees on is that Trump is surrounded by a bunch of really nice guys.
It's true.
Well, I think that, you know, like any reporter, she's ingratiating herself with them so that she can achieve the ultimate goal, which is a free helicopter ride.
Yes, yes, yes.
He's a very nice guy, Frank.
You know, the white guy who works for the racist and just physically threw out the Hispanic reporter, the Hispanic Walter Cronkite, out of a press conference.
Turns out he's really actually a very nice guy.
Do you remember Goldfinger?
He was horrible, but Odd Job was a nice guy, though.
So don't you think she's giggling just a little too much about how fascists deal with the press?
Wow.
Because that is how fascists deal with the press.
They put him in jail or they throw him out.
He's banned the Des Moines Register is not allowed to come to his press conferences.
So don't you think she's giggling just a little bit too much about how fascists deal with the press?
And hey, you know, the guy who's been demonizing Mexicans and taking race baiting to grotesque levels?
He just kicked a Mexican reporter out of his press conference.
Fucking hilarious.
How am I going to stop laughing to do this report?
And they're all nice guys, super polite and stuff.
Well, that, yeah, Jorge Ramos, the way he was questioning Trump, that's how every Trump interview should go.
Exactly.
Ask a question.
Oh, you're coming back with an evasion and a lie.
Okay, I'm going to challenge you because you're not answering my question.
Yes.
Please.
That's how every interview should go.
The way most interviews go is they ask him something, he lies, he evades.
Yes.
He says something that makes no sense.
And then they move on to the next question.
Yes.
And then they just ask him another question.
And they never lead with this question.
Hey, you know, we fact-checked you, and almost everything you say is a lie.
Right.
Why doesn't anyone ever lead with that?
And even Jorge Ramos didn't, when he kept, they were having a back and forth about immigration.
He didn't, he never said to him, you, everyone knows here that you're wrong about Mexicans and crime and immigrants and crime.
We all know that immigrants commit crime at a lower rate than natural born citizens.
They never say that to him.
So Trump always turns it around on them and gets them to agree with him.
He's like, don't you agree that there's immigrant legal immigrants who are criminals, right?
He always does that to them.
And they need to do that.
They need to turn that around on him.
And it's just amazing, again, that a comedian, I'm sitting here and I can tell these guys how to do their job better than they do.
And that's what they do for a living.
They don't do it.
Yeah, that's like when I started to become it, when I became a comedian, I went back and I studied my favorite comedians.
How'd they do it?
I read books about Woody Allen and I read books about George Carlos.
I really did.
And I read, I saw documentaries on stuff, anything I can get my hands on.
I did, right?
So these reporters, what do they study?
What do they look to?
The only studying they've done is they watched the movie All the President's Men and hated that it had an unhappy ending.
Right.
Well, you know what?
Also, I recently read, I had no idea how long Jorge Ramos has been a journalist.
29 years.
This guy has been reporting.
And here he is showing a room of reporters how to actually behave when you're asking a presidential, somebody who's running for president, asking questions.
Yes.
Right.
And by the way, on Morning Joe this morning, either Mika or Joe said, oh, this guy, Jorge Ramos, he was just going for his 15 minutes of fame.
And by the way, about 300,000 viewers watch Morning Joe.
This guy's show on Univision gets a million and a half viewers.
Yes.
What did they say about him, Frank?
They said he's just, he was just going for his 15 minutes of fame.
His 15 minutes of fame.
Not realizing that he's way more famous than they are and has a much bigger audience than they do.
But his audience is mostly Latino.
So they don't.
So they don't count except they get to vote.
Except they get to vote.
Right.
So, you know, more proof on how soft the media is on Trump.
If Trump shot a baby in the face right in front of him, they would describe it as a spirited encounter.
Yeah.
So you know how he's been.
That's really true.
So you know how Donald Trump has been saying a lot of racist things, race baiting.
He did it with the president and his birth certificate, and then he switched to his college records.
And then he, so he just kept doing that.
And it's only because Barack Obama's black, right?
Right.
So then here was this woman.
What's her name?
Katie Tour.
Katie Tour, the MSNBC.
Lovely young woman.
Lovely young woman.
I'm sure she's a great person.
I'd love her to be godmother to my kids if I ever had them.
But here, here again, she's falling down on the job as a corporate journalist.
Here's how, listen, you know, they say only a true gaffe in politics is when you accidentally tell the truth.
And here she's going to make a gaffe, but she quickly corrects it.
And listen, you'll hear it.
Well, Jorge Ramos was sitting one person down from me, and we saw that he was on one of our colleagues' planes, so we knew he was coming.
He's been trying to get an interview with Donald Trump since the racist, or not the racist, the immigrant remarks earlier this couple months ago when he was.
Not the racist.
They weren't racist.
They were just immigrant remarks.
Oh, my God.
She stumbled into the truth and corrected herself.
She stumbled into the truth.
Katie Tour, and she then quickly corrected, hey, who's the whole?
I'm sorry.
I accurately described what was happening.
And now I have to go back and parse my words so nobody gets the right idea of what is actually going on with Donald Trump.
Because if I just let that go uncorrected, people might get the right idea.
Right.
And you know what?
I wouldn't mind all this Trump coverage, and they could do it exactly, show his whole speech, whatever, if they set it up saying Republican frontrunner, racist demagogue, Donald Trump made a speech, and if they portrayed him that way, and it would be completely accurate, there would be no way that you could correct them by saying that he's a racist, sexist democracy.
He said tweets about a reporter, a bimbo.
Calling a bimbo just because he felt like it.
There was no unprovoked.
I mean, he's a sociopath, and yet they treat him on Chris Matthews.
It's like, oh, he's appealing to a populist mentality.
Yes.
People really love his message.
They're really giving him all of this respect that's just nauseating.
And do you want, okay, so I'm going to play this one more time, one more time.
You get an interview with Donald Trump since the racist, or not the racist, the immigrant remarks earlier this.
You know what?
That's a moment when you can see her thought process.
She knows if she left it at that, she'd get in trouble with her boss, with Phil Griffith would berate her.
The right-wing media would be all over her.
But more importantly to her, she'd be in trouble with her bosses because they probably got a memo to not say that, you know?
Yes.
Because they're all about treating Trump well.
He gets them huge ratings.
All they want is to not upset him so that he'll give them access.
Yes.
That's all that it's about.
You are 100% right.
They want him to keep coming on Morning Joe or whatever other show he'll collect.
I'm pretty sure Katie Tour puts this in her audition reel for Fox News.
Am I wrong about this?
She's laughing at a strong fascist throwing a reporter out of a press conference.
She giggles, can't control herself.
By the way, it wasn't just her.
So was Chris Matthews.
Could not stop laughing.
So was Howard Dean.
So was Howard Dean was also laughed.
They could not stop laughing.
Oh, it's so funny.
This guy is throwing a journalist out.
Oh, there's a press conference and journalism breaks out.
Yeah, and journalism breaks out.
And then he ends.
So Donald Trump ends it and they all sit around laughing.
They could not stop.
Right.
And all of their conversation that they're having, and they've just shown like a 40-minute Trump press conference.
And all of this conversation is their way of killing time till they can show Donald Trump's speech, which is coming up in a few minutes.
So you're literally getting like an hour and a half on MSNBC of unfiltered, unadulterated Trump.
They're just giving him a megaphone.
Here, say whatever you want for about an hour and a half and we won't challenge you.
It makes it really makes me wish those equal time laws were still around.
Well, the fairness doctrine, right?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Because this is, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is not fair.
And I'm speaking on behalf of the other psychopaths running for Republican.
It is not fair that Trump gets all the attention and we don't get to hear Huckabee's batshit speech.
Hey, joining us on the phone right now is presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
Hello, Hillary.
Hi, Jimmy.
I heard that you're a comedian, so I brought along my unnerving forced laugh just for you.
laughter Madam Secretary, tell me, how's your campaign going?
How's my campaign going?
Just super, Jim.
Right now, I am on track to not just be the first lady president, but also the first female president.
I think that's the same thing.
That's right.
And in addition to being a woman, I'm a senior.
Oh, you know, I remember wearing a t-shirt in high school that read, go to hell, world, I'm a senior.
I ever had a t-shirt.
That's a good one.
And as I've mentioned, every two minutes or so, I'm a grandma.
So when I gather my broad-based rainbow coalition and we all sit down at what Martin Luther King called the table of brotherhood, there's a good chance we'll be sitting at the table at about 3 p.m. to take advantage of the early bird dinner special.
You know, that's fiscally responsible.
I appreciate that, right?
That's fiscally responsible even.
Indeed.
You see, I am a part of the growing demographic of Americans between the age of 68 and dead.
But I'm still sharp.
I have proven again and again that I can flip-flop and change positions on issues with the force and conviction of equivocating politicians half my age.
I totally believe you, Madam Secretary.
Jimmy, my status as a Matlock binge watcher and reverse mortgage enthusiast is the main reason everyone should vote for me.
Can you explain that a little bit?
I don't understand.
I'm happy to explain that, Jim.
Okay.
What good has youth and vitality in the White House ever done for us?
When he first took office, George W. Bush was a sprightly, active man.
You would never think of him as infirm and incontinent.
He had a healthy body with an unclogged digestive tract.
That was the only thing in his administration with a clear exit strategy.
But all that regularity only made it easier for him to turn the country into a shit hole.
I'm sorry, Madam Secretary, I still don't see your point about age exactly.
My point is now, more than ever, we need a dotty old broad as commander-in-chief, someone who will eventually incur a loss of cognitive skill and start yelling out inane gibberish like, let's cut military spending.
Schools and infrastructure should be a priority or religion has no place in government.
Okay.
So you're saying that if you become as senile as Ronnie Reagan, that would be somehow good for the country?
Possibly.
And considering the way this country has been governed for the last several years, dementia might be an improvement.
Oh, am I right, lefties?
Stephanie, I'm told you are a comedian as well as a Mexican-American.
Yes, I identify as both.
Well, I'm glad you got in before the rush.
I don't know where immigration laws will take us, but I can tell you honestly, I cannot imagine a lawn without Mexicans.
What?
Did you mean a world?
Yes, I did.
It takes a lawn to make a world.
Well, Ms. Clinton, thank you for being on the show.
I appreciate you taking time.
It's always a pleasure, Howard.
Without Jews, there'd be no Matzo Ball soup.
Okay, it wasn't that funny.
I didn't think it was.
I appreciate you bringing the fake fake.
Thank you for bringing it.
Okay, Madam Secretary, I appreciate.
Okay, that was Hillary Clinton, ladies and gentlemen.
Hillary Clinton.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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Here is Bruce Bartlett.
Now, if you don't know who he is, he was an economic advisor in the Reagan administration.
He was also in the George Bush White House.
So he's got his bona fides as a conservative, except he's not crazy, right?
So he actually is in touch with reality.
Here's what he says.
He says that the Republican Party has taken a turn.
So my point is people are always trying to figure out what is, they're trying to read into Donald Trump's appeal.
And what I've said for a long time is that, yeah, there's about 25% of the Republican Party, hardcore, fear-mongering racists, right?
Hardcore, racists, right?
And that's who he's appealing to.
And so here is Bruce Bartlett, and here's what he has to say about the, this is from 2012, by the way.
This is from right after the election of Barack Obama against Mitt Romney.
Well, there's no question that Republicans, you know, hate democracy when it comes right down to it.
They really don't think poor people, I mean, it's very common to hear Republicans say the people on welfare should not be allowed to vote.
Now, if that would, I think there's an awful lot of people who are on welfare, namely the elderly who receive all their income from Social Security, Medicare, who nevertheless vote Republican and don't realize that they are the 47% of moochers, you know, that Mitt Romney denounced.
So I think they're fundamentally opposed to democracy.
So there you go.
So they're fundamentally opposed.
They don't believe that people on welfare should be able to vote in the first place.
This is who he's appealing to.
This is who Bruce Bartlett says is the, now here's the other.
So there's two things he says.
The first thing he just said that is that they're not big on democracy.
They don't want certain people to vote.
That's why they have no problem suppressing the vote all over the country.
And that's why, and they're doing it out in the open and no one cared.
They're not shamed for it in the polite society.
Polite society does not shame the Republican Party for doing the most un-American thing possible, which is denying people access to the ballot box, which is that's what this whole country is about, one man, one vote.
So he goes on, here's the other half of what the public says.
But they're also basically racist.
They don't want anybody who's except who's other than white people to be able to vote.
And I think they're, and you saw this with Bill O'Reilly's rant on election night.
And they're just absolutely horrified that, you know, a coalition of blacks and Latinos and Asians and union members, you know, are basically going to be able to control the country.
And I think one reason why they're behaving so crazily is because they're desperate, because they know that the demographic trends are all going against them, and they're just holding on for dear life.
So all the time you hear pundits sitting around hours on end trying to figure out Donald Trump's genius.
That's it.
He's a loudmouth, misogynistic racist, and he says a lot of racist things.
And he's them and he's scapegoating immigrants.
It's the oldest trick in the book.
The people lowest on the totem pole economically, the people with no power in our society, you scapegoat them.
It's very much, that's what fascists do.
And he's no doubt a fascist.
They're all about, they fear, fear, fear, strong military.
We get them, and they identify the problem in our country as the other.
And the other in Germany was Jews, and the other in the United States now is Mexicans, right?
Well, I was just going to say, you know, it's usually very extreme and over the top to compare a politician that you don't like to Hitler.
So I'm not going to go all the way there, but I will say that Trump wants to round up citizens and put them in cattle cars and send them away.
There is a parallel there.
Yeah, citizens.
He's not talking about...
11 million.
There's only 6 million in Germany for the Jews.
So he's more ambitious, actually.
So, yes, so again, there's this thing because the internet started and people would too quickly go to a Hitler comparison.
So now you're not allowed to use Hitler as a comparison to anything ever.
They mean the greatest example of fascism, the greatest example of a maniac, right?
A cult leader, a fascist, a demagogue, and we can't ever use that.
But that's what this is.
This is what it looks like when it comes to America.
We know I've always said, they say when fascism comes to America, it will look like anti-fascism.
And you know what I say?
What does fascism mean?
So that's what this is, right?
So this is Donald Trump.
By the way, a lot of hallmarks to fascist regimes, right?
They're misogynistic.
They're anti-intellectual.
They're nativists.
They scapegoat immigrants, right?
Strong natural defense.
They're very war hawkish.
So he's 28.
Plus, he adds his personality disorder, which is transparent.
So that's again, I just want to tell all the pundits sitting around trying to figure out, oh, he's really appealing.
You know, say what you want.
He's a straight shooter.
It's because of the way he talks.
No, it's because 25, just what Bruce Bartlett just said.
They're racists and they're desperate.
Right.
And the media is aiding them.
And the media won't say that.
The media won't say that Trump supporters are mostly racists.
Trump, who has dismissed some Mexican immigrants, listen to this.
As rapists and criminals, or simply put, as Hitler.
Do you believe?
Now, the Hitler one I've never heard until this morning when I woke up.
I'm not a fan of Hitler.
The opinions expressed in the Jimmy Door show are those of Jimmy and his panel of losers and do not necessarily reflect those of KPFK.
Any reuse of these opinions will result in getting laughed out of wherever the hell you repeat them because they couldn't stand up to the scrutiny of a bus filled with simpletons.
And now back to the Jimmy Door show.
Already in progress.
As soon as I get done talking, which would be right about coming up in the second half of today's show, we've got Tuesdays with moron, a phone call from God, plus a lot lot more.
But right now, we're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
This is the Jimmy Door Show on Pacifica.
All right, so guess what happened?
So, you know, I've been talking about we did that show up in Malibu at the Malibu Playhouse tonight that Michael Schurzer set up with his young comedy friends, all very funny.
So it's Malibu.
And I'm on stage, and I swear to God, I look on the audience, and I'm doing, I know exactly what the joke I was doing, a joke about torture.
And I look, and there's this guy with white hair, and he's laughing.
And I look a little closer, and it's, and I'm like, son of a bitch, that's Dick Van Dyke.
Dick Van Dyke.
Now, I don't know what he means to you, but to me, he's just a hero from your chop from my childhood.
And, you know, before there was cable.
Anyway, I saw Dick Van Dyke laughing after the show.
He paid me a compliment.
We took a picture.
So guess what?
The world can officially fuck off.
And you know what?
I was thinking.
I was like, oh, son of a gun.
Just the other day, I had to buy something and I went and I used my own Amazon link.
And I was like, wow, I wonder if that is what gave me the good karma.
And then I met, guess who else I met?
Sam Elliott.
Yes, he was there.
And anyway, what a great night.
What a fun time.
Thanks to everybody who uses our Amazon link when they think about buying something from Amazon.
We're not encouraging you to buy from Amazon, but if you do, why not use our link?
Have some of the money go to a good cause.
All right, let's get back to the second half of the show.
Welcome back to the second half of the Jimmy Door show.
We've got a lot coming up in the second half.
God calls in.
We talk more about what is really the base of the Republican Party and who has swung further to the right or to the left, Democrats or Republicans.
The answer just might surprise you, or what passes for an answer on Meet the Press.
So we got all that coming up, but let's get to this week's episode of Tuesdays with Moron.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
It's Moron.
Hey, moron.
How you doing?
I haven't heard from you in quite a while, buddy.
How have you been?
Jim, you know me.
I'm a good American.
I'm easily manipulated to vote against my own economic interests.
And I always follow authority unless they happen to be a Democrat, a black, or a woman.
So, Moron, what about what have you been doing?
You know me, Jim.
I'm keeping busy.
I spend most of my day writing YouTube comments.
Hey, Jimmy.
What?
Hey, Jim.
What?
Hey, Jimmy.
What?
Hey.
What?
Hey.
You have a question?
Hey.
What?
I'm getting involved in politics myself.
Really?
What are you doing?
In my neighborhood, I'm my neighborhood's Donald Trump for president, Chairman.
I thought you'd be proud of me for finally becoming cynically engaged.
Yeah, I guess I am.
What do you do for the, what is it again?
Donald Trump for president committee.
Yeah, I'm the chairman and well, what do you do?
Well, we hand out leaflets in parking lots and in front of liquor stores and we go down to the home depots and yell at Mexicans looking for work.
And then we tell people to watch Trump every night on MSNBCs.
Yes, he is on MSNBC, it seems like all the time.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah, I think so.
MSNBC has him out all the time.
Hey, why do you like Trump so much?
Because Trump gets things done, Jimmy.
Like when he proved that Obama is an American.
Trump never proved that, moron.
Yeah, he did.
He sent out detectives to Hawaii and everything.
He didn't do any of the things he claimed about that.
I'm pretty sure he did, Jim.
Trump gets things done.
Okay.
Like when he fires people on that show.
The reality show?
The apprentice.
Yeah, right.
You're fired.
That's great.
Well, what actual policies do you like of Donald Trump's?
Well, he's against the Planned Parenthoods.
He's against the tiny anchors on babies.
And he's the only candidate who will say that the illegals are the rapists.
You know, none of those things are actually problems.
Of course they're problems, Jim.
Say you get raped by an illegals.
Trump would definitely let you kill that kid.
And if you didn't, as soon as it was born, he would take away its citizenship.
None of that makes sense.
That's how I'll make America great again.
That's not the problem with America.
Babies with anchors, Jim.
Babies with anchors.
Stop saying that, moron.
Stop saying what?
Anka babies?
Yes, that is offensive.
What should I call them then?
You call them either babies or you call them American citizens because under the Constitution, that's what they are.
They're human beings and they're babies.
And they're citizens.
They're Americans.
What?
Come on.
What, Moron?
What do you mean, come on?
Come on.
I'm no egghead, but I do know when Jesus wrote the Constitution, he didn't say nothing about Mexican babies.
Jesus didn't write anything.
Moron!
What on earth are you wearing?
That's my wife, Therese.
Why, I got pants plugged into the electric socket.
Therese, I'm wearing my new sauna pants.
Sauna pants.
What the hell are sauna pants?
Sauna pants provide the benefits of a heat sauna in the area you need it most.
The butt and the hips.
A butt and the hips.
So simple to use, Therese.
Just wear it and turn the dial to your desired temperature.
Within minutes, sauna pants will make you sweat quickly in the areas you need it most, helping you shed water and potentially lose weight.
Moron, you have to change your soggy underpants four times a day.
You don't need those.
Sauna pants are adjustable to fit weights from 28 inches to 59 inches and ties from 15 inches to 30 inches.
Comes with four-foot electrical cord, wiped the collected sweat with a clean damn cloth.
Please note, this item is not available in retail packaging.
They look repulsive.
Why would you wear those?
I got them for you, Darius.
What?
Why do I need sauna pants?
What are you trying to tell me?
Are you saying...
I'm fat.
All I'm saying is sauna pants helps you potentially lose weight in the areas you need it most.
And when you get a yeast infection, will it protect you?
Disgusting.
You get rid of those pants.
Derece, I think your butt is hot no matter what pants you're wearing.
Okay, I should go.
Do you really need that, Moron?
I do.
I should go.
You big fuck.
Come here and feel how hot my pants are getting.
Moron, what?
I'll get sweat still on the floor.
I don't think that's sweat.
Okay.
All right, thanks for calling, moron.
Okay.
Okay, all right.
I'm going to go.
Thanks, Moron.
That's good Tuesdays with Moron.
Thank you, buddy.
Thank you.
*Move*
There was a time in this country when we had two political parties.
There was a time.
There was a time when there were reasonable men in the Republican Party who you could negotiate with.
They just had a different view of how you should govern.
They weren't crazy.
They were tethered to reality.
Not like the modern day, what has happened since the foxification of the Republican Party and unlimited cash has turned it into a Frankenstein party, right?
So it's turned Democrats into Republicans and Republicans into monsters.
Wow.
Right.
Because here's Bob Dole back from 1996.
And listen to what he sounds like.
He sounds like a liberal.
He sounds like Bernie Sanders.
Listen.
I worked on the food stamp program proudly.
And the WIC program and the school lunch program.
I have learned in my own life from my own experience that not every man, woman, or child can make it on their own.
And that in time of need, the bridge between failure and success can be the government itself.
Okay, look at that.
Oh, come in.
So they used to be communists.
They used to say stuff like that all the time.
They understood there was a place for government, a role, right?
They understood.
They didn't deny science.
No.
Right?
Conservative.
They used to be on board for helping Planned Parenthood.
They used to try to fund Planned Parenthood.
They were for immigration reform.
They were pro-science, right?
They were for the earned income tax credit as their kind of their idea.
Right.
Obamacare was their idea.
Obamacare was their idea.
So here's Bruce Bartlett, right?
So he's an American historian whose area of expertise is supply-side economics, right?
Because he served as a domestic policy advisor to Ronald Reagan and as a treasury official under George Herbert Walker Bush.
So why do I bring that up about Bruce Bartlett and Bob Dole?
Because last week, Saturday or Sunday, there was about a thousand morons in my neighborhood.
I would say a thousand ignorant ass holes were harassing women going into a Planned Parenthood in my neighborhood.
And they were upset.
Their outrage, their ire was based on some deceptively edited videos that erroneously and falsely accuse Planned Parenthood officials of selling aborted baby parts for profit.
Which is not true.
Which is not true at all.
Not true.
Not true at all.
These are the same types of people who got rid of Acorn on a doctored video that showed something to be false.
It's the same kind of people who had doctored videos about Shirley Sherrod.
These are the same people.
They have nothing, so they have to lie.
When you have to lie to make your case, you don't have much of a case, but that's all they have.
But yet again, the news media is doing neutrality instead of objectivity.
And they'll say, hey, these people are upset about these videos, so there must be something to it.
Most of the media I've seen are, and I'm not just talking about Fox.
I'm talking about MSNBC, particularly Morning Joe, have portrayed the Planned Parenthood videos as real things.
Yes.
That have shocking, awful things on them.
Yes.
And so here's what Bruce Bartlett thinks about.
So what has happened, right, is there used to be people like Bob Dole, right?
Now, he was a standard bearer of the Republican Party for a long time.
He was their nominee in 96.
So that used to be where the center of the Republican Party was.
Well, now that's all gone.
It's all crazy now.
So I just want to tell you about the Planned Parenthood thing.
So you can be against abortion or whatever.
But if you're against abortion, you can't be against Planned Parenthood because Planned Parenthood is 97% doing things to help women's health that have nothing to do with abortion.
It prevents abortion.
It mostly prevents, it prevents more abortions for sure than they, right?
Yes.
Yes, because it gives lower income women birth control and information about all that stuff.
And so and in fact, my friend Jane, she told me that Planned Parenthood gave her a free cancer screening.
They caught it early.
She got treated, which meant that she was able to have a kid later on in life.
So now she has a son, and thanks to Planned Parenthood for catching her cancer and treating her.
Right.
And Bobby Jindal removed funding for Planned Parenthood in Louisiana, where they don't even do abortions at Planned Parenthood in Louisiana.
He just arbitrarily took their funding away, denying lower-income women cancer screenings and all kinds of things like that that could really help them.
People are going to die because of that decision.
Exactly.
Bobby Jindal.
Frank, exactly.
That's exactly.
So I had a friend, an ex-friend, post something on Facebook about the Planned Parenthood videos and all that stuff and all that.
And so I immediately texted him and said, hey, I got to know, do you think Planned Parenthood was selling baby parts for profit?
Yes or no?
And then he came back with, well, I can't be sure, but it seems to me like they were.
I can't be sure.
This guy considers himself a newsman, by the way.
And I don't want to give away who it is, but he's been on the show anyway.
So I just said, you know, that's not okay.
This isn't a difference of opinion.
You're ignorant and stupid on purpose.
That's not what happened.
And unless you're just lying now because you don't want to see the truth like all those people, you know, this is the same guy who like a month and a half ago was in the hospital because he has a lot of health problems.
And he was going on Facebook asking people if they could help him find a government program to help pay For his hospital stuff because his program was running out and he had to go to a crappier hotel bed and now he's in this massive room and it wasn't good for his treatment.
And so he's asking people to help him get health care when he's sick.
And here he is demonizing an organization that's providing health care to poor women.
And as you said, Frank, women will die because of this.
And so that's when I told him, it's no longer, this isn't a difference of opinion.
When does it become a difference of opinion?
And hey, I have to fight against you because you're evil.
Because at some point, at some point, you go, oh, my God, I have to fight Mussolini.
I can't go along with this.
I can't fight.
This isn't a difference of opinion about the Jews.
Hitler says the Jews are our cause of our problems.
The Jews say they aren't.
I guess we'll never know.
Both sides do it.
At some point, right, Frank?
At some point, you have to go, wait a minute.
No, what you're doing is evil.
Right.
Yes.
And that's a judgment call.
And you have to make those judgment calls in life.
And so I did.
And I just told that guy, we're not friends.
I'm not going to be friends with you.
This is just like you saying the N-word and saying it's a different of opinion.
It's not a difference of opinion.
You're evil.
That's all there is to it.
And he's like, well, at least I didn't call you names.
And it's like, oh, well, thanks for not calling me names while you're denying health care to poor women.
Well, that's like, you know what?
That's like such a bullshit thing because I actually, not long before tonight's taping, I saw a commercial for Morning Joe, and all of the, they have all this critical acclaim, you know, what the critics say about it.
And they all say, you know, great discussions without name calling, you know, as if that makes it okay that everybody's lying on the show, but they're not calling anybody a name.
You need more name calling on those kind of shows.
Yes.
So here is Bruce Bartlett, and he's going to describe these people who have taken over the Republican Party, these guys who's my ex-friend.
And by the way, that's just ignorance.
They go, well, it's just my opinion.
No, no, no.
Ignorance is not an opinion.
It's just ignorance.
There are a lot of people who thought that the Bible told them to hold slaves.
That didn't make you a good person.
That meant that you had a disconnect in your brain somewhere, and you could actually make something horrific sound moral in your own brain.
And that's what they're doing with Planned Parenthood.
All these people are doing, they're committing evil in our society, and they're doing it under the guise of I'm with Jesus.
So here's what Brute Bartlett has to say about these people.
What?
Well, it's a lot nicer than saying what I really think, which is that they're all either crazy or stupid.
I mean, things have changed so dramatically since the days when I first got involved with Republican politics when the Republican Party was the party of ideas and now it's the party of crazy people, ignorant Tea Party people,
people who know nothing and are proud of it, and who get all their information from specified sources, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, crazy websites, and nutty ideas circulate within this universe, within this bubble, without any contradiction whatsoever.
Now, I thought, and I think a lot of other sane conservatives thought that, well, at least the people at the top, you know, the Mitt Romneys and his advisors, you know, were not part of that group.
I mean, they wanted to win.
They needed to know true facts, live in the real world.
And it turns out they were living the same bubble.
They disbelieved all the published polls, and they just convinced themselves that their ideas were popular and weren't crazy and that they were going to win easily.
And they were just flabbergasted on election night when they didn't, when everybody else knew.
This is insane.
So that's the new Republican Party, ladies and gentlemen.
That's Bruce Bartlett, the guy who was in Reagan's administration, George Herbert Walker Bush's administration.
He's a real deal.
He's a real, you know, he was helping implementing supply-side economics in the 80s.
That was his, he's an expert on supply-side economics.
So that's so there.
So you go, what's the Trump phenomenon?
So that's who the people against Planned.
And so, and this is, these are the people that the media gives respect to.
Like, hey, they have an opinion.
So we have to give.
So here's one more thing he says about these people.
So again, this is what all comes back to the Planned Parenthood people, me defriending my friend, who I'm never going to talk to again for the rest of my life.
And happily, and here's he has more to say about that, because they're ignorant on purpose, and that's not okay.
Right.
That's not okay.
At some point, you have to draw a line.
And here's what he says.
50%, or close to 50% anyway, of Republicans believe that a group called Acorn stole the election this year, 2012, for Obama.
Now, Acorn is an organization that ceased to exist about three years ago.
This is, per se, a nutty idea.
It is a stupid idea.
Anybody who believes it is either stupid or crazy.
And so you have half of Republicans who said they believe this.
Therefore, half of Republicans are either stupid or crazy.
Could it be that they're just badly misinformed?
But they're willfully misinformed.
They don't seek out any information other than from their own sources.
I see that.
And so that's why people go on Facebook and they go, well, I think Planned Parenthood is styling baby.
They're ignorant on purpose.
That's a great phrase he said, willfully misinformed.
They're willfully misinformed.
They go out of their way.
They put in the effort to become misinformed.
They're not just passively stupid people.
Yes, they have to seek out bad information on a daily basis and then actively shut out all the debunking facts that are surrounding them.
So they have to put on blinders every day, and that's a willful act.
It's very easy for them, though, because the media provides so much misinformation on a constant basis that to be, it's never been easier to be, we have more information than ever, and it's never been easier to be misinformed than it is now.
Yeah, you know, you're really kind of out there when a Reagan conservative is calling you crazy.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's exactly the point, Michael.
That's exactly right.
And so, again, it's not a difference of opinion.
I just want to make people, if you're against Planned Parenthood and you think those baby, you're willfully ignorant, you're supporting evil, which makes you evil.
It's not okay.
I'm drawing the line in the sand.
I even put, I put a Facebook post to go, hey, if you believe this Planned Parenthood video says what the right-wing says it does, just unfriend me right now and save me the trouble because I don't have any time in my life anymore for people who are done.
You know, Ben Mankowitz, who used to be regular on this show, he used to say, or he still says, you know, when you try to have a conversation with today's modern Republican Party, you spend 80% of your time just unwinding the crazy.
So now we can have agreed to set upon agreed facts, set of facts, and now we can argue our Ideas, but we have to agree on a set of facts.
And these people say, well, Benghazi, and what do you think about a citizen?
And death panels and acorn.
And what about the baby parts?
And it's like these are all just completely whole cloth made up stuff, not having a lot of people.
And it's all being spewed by all of the Republican candidates.
You know, all of them are putting or this misinformation is a part of their.
This isn't a fringe.
This is what I'm saying.
I wouldn't be talking about this if it was a fringe.
It's not.
The fringe is the mainstream.
Trump is proof of that.
Yes.
It reminds me of when Carl Rove, former advisor to W. Bush, said that we create our own reality.
And while you all are studying history, we'll be making it.
He said that?
Well, he proved this.
He proved him.
Now, continuing with our theme on the show today.
So here's what Bruce Bartlett.
Now, I told you who Bruce Bartlett was before.
He's a supply-side economic specialist.
He was in the Ronald Reagan administration.
He helped implement supply-side economics.
He was also in George Herbert Walker's administration, working in the Treasury Department.
He's the very definition of not a left-wing person.
Here's what he says.
What has happened to both political parties for progressives at that time?
I mean, Teddy Roosevelt.
Progressive.
he would be considered a communist.
Generally considered on the left these days, even though I still consider myself to be on the right.
It's just that all the people on the right have moved so much further to the right.
I'm standing still, and the left has moved to the right as well.
There's no real left in this country.
I mean, I think viewed in historical context, Obama is really on the center right.
He really is.
And anybody who thinks he's on the left is just crazy.
I think his policies are not even remotely liberal.
Okay, so there he goes.
Sounds like he's been listening to the Jimmy Door show.
Sounds like he.
It's exactly what.
And this is from 2012, Frank.
I just found this today.
I just found this today on the internet, this interview he did with Tom Hartman, Bruce Bartlett, because I know, you know, I like Bruce Bartlett for different reasons.
And we have a personal story with him involving Jenk Uger and Dave Kohler.
And so now I'm watching NMSN NBC.
I'm not watching NBC's Meet the Press.
Oh, great show.
And here they have on, this is right after they just got done comparing Bernie Sanders to Donald Trump for a half hour.
Harris Sarah Fagan, a former White House political director.
So she's a Republican operative.
And here's the question Chuck Todd asks her about Bernie Sanders.
Is Bernie Sanders going to pull Hillary Clinton to the left?
When you see the Sanders, do you think it is dragging Hillary Clinton to the left in a bad way?
Or do you think actually it's making her a better candidate?
I think it's dragging her to the left in a bad way.
The reality is, if you look back over the last 20 years, the left of the Democratic Party has moved farther than the right of the Republican Party.
Wow.
Yes.
She just, she says this.
That's the kind of thing.
That is so crazy.
Oh, my God.
So now we just laid it out to you.
I'll play it again.
So we just laid it out to you.
Bruce Bartlett, he's telling you there is no left in America anymore.
We all know this.
We've shifted.
And here's how Chuck Todd pushes back on that.
I'll play it a little bit more.
Here we go.
The left of the Democratic Party has moved farther than the right of the Republican Party.
I think everybody would agree about that.
On taxes.
So Chuck Todd says, I don't think everybody would agree with you on that.
That's how he pushes back.
And here's his next pushback.
Ready?
He does a false equivalency as a pushback.
Spending on social issues.
They both moved farther down.
They both both sides did it.
Jesus effing Christ, Chuck Todd.
Here we have a corporate Democrat in power proposing mostly Republican ideas.
And one party who thinks science is a scam, but they're both equally crazy, right, Chuck?
One party wants women to have easy access to health care and wants decisions about reproductive health be made by a woman and her doctor.
And one party wants the government to force a 10-year-old rape victim to carry their rapist baby to term for Jesus.
But they're both equal, right?
Right?
One party thinks all people should be treated equally under the law, no matter what your sexual orientation.
And one party wants to deny gays equality in marriage and also wants to codify discrimination of gays into law.
But they're both equal, right, Chuck Todd?
One party works to increase voter participation in elections by making voting easier for all citizens.
And one party openly brags about suppressing the vote of blacks from coast to coast.
But they're equal, right, Chuck?
They're both equal.
One party wants to find a way to assimilate 11 million undocumented people who mostly came here to work.
And oh, yeah, one party wants to repeal the 14th Amendment and revoke citizenship of racial minorities and perceived political opponents more in this country.
But they've both moved, right, Chuck?
They're both equally extreme, right?
I mean, one party is rational and the other party's crazy, batshit crazy.
So they're equal.
Hey, there's a lot more to that discussion.
And we have a lot more to say about Chuck Todd and the false equivalencies that's prevalent in the mainstream corporate media.
But we don't have time on today's podcast.
So how do you hear that?
You get the premium.
Also, in this week's premium, a God calls.
Yes, God calls in, and he sounds very much like Frank Connoff, and he's jealous of Donald Trump.
I'm so insignificant compared to Trump.
But God, Trump doesn't seem like a big deal compared to God.
I mean, you can look into people's souls.
I can't look into Trump's soul.
He doesn't have one.
See, he outflanked me on that.
He's really smart.
He went to Wharton Business School, you know.
You have to be really smart to go there.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I never even went to college.
I was a carpenter.
I didn't even qualify to get into DeVry.
What about Trump University?
Trump University is like me.
It probably doesn't even exist.
Come on, God.
You're the supreme being, the creator of the universe.
That has to count for something.
It counts for buck kiss.
You know what Trump's speaking fee is?
Hundreds of thousands of dollars for one speech.
I didn't even get a travel voucher for the Sermon on the Mount.
Really?
Yeah, actually, it was a Bringer show.
God damn, that Frank Conniff is funny.
Hey, if you'd like to hear the rest of that phone call from God, which we only heard a short piece of it.
God, it's funny.
You get this week's premium content.
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And I'll see you September 10, 11, and 12th in Baltimore at Magoobies.
Links for tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mark Van Landuit, Frank Conniff, Laura Keitlinger, Steph Zamarano.
That's right.
Hey, the voice of Hillary Clinton performed by the hilarious and multi-talented Laura Keitlinger, friend of the show.
Thanks for doing that.
Okay, that's it for this week.
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