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Feb. 14, 2015 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show And now another reading from Morning Remembrance.
Fake obituaries of real dead people by Jim Earle.
Daryl Winfield, Marlborough man, full-flavored smoke.
Daryl Winfield, one of the most recognizable Marlboro men, mainly because he was the only one who lived long enough to get recognized, is dead after a prolonged illness that probably started 50 years ago.
Although he lived to the relatively old age of 85, doctors still caution that had he not smoked, he could have made it to 300.
Asked what life might have been like if he hadn't become the Marlborough man, Winfield answered plainly, life would have basically been the same, but without all that money and pussy and all those cars and the four houses and all that pussy.
Friends described him as a man's man who just liked working on his ranch every day, lighting cigarettes and crouching a lot.
And then, of course, there was all that pussy.
Winfield was so authentic, he often provided the cattle and the horses that appeared in the commercials.
They all have lung cancer now.
Winfield requested his remains be lit on fire with a burning twig and marketed to children.
That was another reading from the book Morning Remembrance.
Fake Obituaries of Real Dead People by Jim Earl, available at jimearl.com.
We'll be right back.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for gut-minded, lowly-livered lapdies.
The kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's our talking, T-Day.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I am joined in the studio across from me, hilarious comedian and Japanese man.
It's Robert Yasimura.
Hello, Robert.
How are you?
Ohio.
Ohio, yes, that's how we say hello.
Across the glass, from TYT, the Young Turks, our resident Hispanic, it's Edwin Umanya.
How are you, Edwin?
Hola, I'm good.
All the way from New York City on the phone and from Mystery Science Theater 3000, it's TV's Frank.
Frank Conniff is with us.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hello there.
Yay.
Also on the phone from Baltimore, hilarious comedian, radio show host.
It's Mark Unger from the Fighting Ungers podcast.
It's Mark Unger.
Hi, Mark.
I'm good, man.
Hey, how are you?
All right, great.
And I've got to say I'm from New York.
I happen to just live in Baltimore.
That's not an excuse.
This Michael Elliott Spitzer Schurzer is here today.
Now, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, there's a lot of new movies coming out.
And, you know, I like those cartoons.
The Marvel has a new movie coming out and Spider-Man.
You know, I have an outside-the-box suggestion for one of those movies.
I say we do a movie where Spider-Man and Captain America don't get along at first, but then they learn to work together.
What do you think?
You're blowing my mind.
Did you guys see the, did you guys see the Grammys?
Did you guys see the Grammys?
I did not.
You know, I saw that Stevie Wonder was on.
You know, conservatives will tell you that Stevie Wonder is helpless without his teleprompter.
You know, NBC News, Brian Williams, huh?
Tough.
He's really taking it on the chin.
NBC threw Brian Williams under the bus.
And now Brian Williams is claiming that that bus came under fire and was hit by an RPG.
So stupid.
You know, it's really odd that when George Bush wore that mission-accomplished flight suit.
Remember that?
Sure.
The media cheered the idea of being full of shit about Iraq.
Isn't that funny?
But now everybody's upset about it.
The news media is on notice.
From now on, you'd better cheerlead wars based on propaganda and lies with complete honesty.
What does it say about the NBC Nightly News?
that they couldn't even get an exclusive scoop on Brian Williams'suspension.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah.
And that's true, by the way.
Yeah, that is true.
I know.
And you know what?
It was announced after the newscast went off the air.
I just couldn't understand that.
I'm with you.
And now that Jon Stewart's gone, we're going to be less informed, but it might even out because we'll be more informed with Brian Williams gone.
And you know, I'll tell you, I don't know how you guys felt about it, but I mean, I mean, I like Jon Stewart and the job he did at the Daily Show, but I just had a feeling the Daily Show gig wasn't going to last.
Yeah.
Right?
15 years and he's out gone already.
He's like, I'm done.
He's gone already.
You know, NBC fired Phil Donahue for telling the truth.
So I don't think they're going to fire Brian Williams for telling a lie.
It's true.
That would be weird if they did.
Right?
If they fired Brian Williams and Phil Donahue, one for telling the truth about Iraq and one for telling a lie about Iraq.
Isn't that funny?
Wow.
Wow.
And by the way, where was Kanye West when Brian Williams was getting his Peabody Award?
I don't know.
I don't know what Jon Stewart leaving.
You know, the world hasn't been this culturally devastated by a shake-up in late-night TV since I got to go back to when Thick of the Night left the air.
I love it.
That's a joke.
You think the kids today are going to get joke?
No, no, but everybody who's my age and only will get that joke.
I have no idea what that joke is.
I know.
Robin Thick's father used to have a late night show on syndication.
Oh, I knew about it.
I've heard of that, actually.
Hey, same-sex unions.
By the way, same-sex union, gay marriage, it's happening everywhere now in the country.
And I don't know if you heard, but last week, Charles Manson, who was supposed to get married, his wedding is now off.
Right.
So I say F you to everybody.
Gay marriage is threatening regular marriage.
Okay, what's coming up on today's show?
President Barack Obama gave a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast.
And man, it really ticked off the Christians.
I wonder what he said.
The answer just might surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, we're going to take a look at Brian Williams and the trust he built up over the last 10 years.
We got phone calls today from Tom Brokaw, a Boston guy who tells us about the weather that's happening in Boston.
Luke Rustard calls in.
And Dominic Strauss-Kahn from France.
Oh, that's right.
He's got a middle name too.
I don't know what it is, but he's coming.
He's going to be on the show, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Thank you.
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And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
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Thank you.
Okay, so President Barack Obama, friend of the show, friend of the show, he gave a speech.
He gave a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast, and it caused a little bit of a ruckus.
And I'm going to say, at first, it started off pretty good.
It started off.
I have a reasonable question about that.
Sure.
How is it that we have a national prayer breakfast?
It actually started.
It actually started in 1953, in case you're wondering.
Oh, really?
The National Prayer Breakfast started when we were afraid of the communists.
So right around the Red Scare.
Yeah, that's what it had.
Okay, what's up?
That's something we definitely want to keep going.
Anything that was started around the Red Scare.
Yeah.
Okay.
Jimmy, for Chris Christie, a prayer breakfast is when he goes, please, God, let there be more pancakes.
So basically, thank you.
The National Prayer Breakfast started the same year that girls showed up giving you hamburgers on roller skates.
Ah, okay.
So here it started.
His speech started off fine, right?
Here's how it started.
He was talking about how people pervert religion for violence.
Here we go.
From a school in Pakistan to the streets of Paris, we have seen violence and terror perpetrated by those who profess to stand up for faith, their faith.
Profess to stand up for Islam, but in fact are betraying it.
We see ISIL, a brutal, vicious death cult that, in the name of religion, carries out unspeakable acts of barbarism, terrorizing religious minorities like the Yazidis, subjecting women to rape as a weapon of war and claiming the mantle of religious authority for such actions.
We see sectarian war.
So he goes, so that sounds good.
That all sounds real good, right?
He's upset at everybody for doing bad things to people and using religion as a cover for it.
He's upset at everybody for that.
And I also like that he's using the Bill Clinton hush tone.
Yes, he's using the Bill Clinton Oshtone.
Yes, he is.
I like that.
Yes, he is.
So everything was going fine.
Let's see how he ends this first part.
They can flow from all of our faiths, operating alongside those who seek to hijack religious for their own murderous ends.
See, so he's still upset about everybody hijacking religion.
It's exactly what you'd want a guy to say about religion if you were a politician and whatever and you cared about that stuff.
So here's where he got into hot water.
Here we go.
Ready?
Unless we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place, remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ.
In our home country, slavery.
And Jim Crow all too often was justified in the name of Christ.
Okay, so that all makes sense.
He goes, well, you know, that's like on our high horse, you know, because we had the Christians had the Crusades and the Inquisition.
And plus, we even had slavery and Jim Crow in America that a lot of that too often he said, he said, too often people use religion and Christianity to defend.
Now, a lot of people also use Christianity to tear it down, just like a lot of Muslims are against Muslims.
Most Muslims, the majority, are against Muslim extremism who use violence, just like that.
Just like that.
There's a small percentage of Muslims who believe in violence like this.
And just like with Christians, there's a small – Except the Crusades were institutional, by the way.
I mean, they're actually much worse.
Yeah, but...
During the Crusades, every Christian had a poster of Richard III or Richard the Lionheart on their walls.
There was nobody against the Crusades.
Yeah, and that was that sexy post.
Where do you get those?
You're going to get those posters.
You're going to say I'm goody.
Yeah.
Actually, you go to Spencer's.
You go to Spencer's, get that poster.
So I assume that what the right wing is pissed about is that he took a vacation to India because everything else he said made sense.
Well, let's go with Joe.
Here's what Joe Scarborough said.
Here's what he says.
It's unbelievable the moral equivalency having to go back 700, 800, 900 years.
You see this when you have people that somehow want to paint a broad brush.
Yes, radical Islam's bad, but look what Christianity does.
I mean, you have to, really, you have to go back 800 years to a crusade, which, by the way, most historians say Christians launched in response to years and years of Muslims taking over their former land.
This is bad.
I think that's a bigger conversation whether or not it's okay to have, you know, the need to go back 800 years.
This stupid.
Oh, man, Jim Crow was 800 years ago.
Equivalent.
See, Sometimes you can just say.
So he's saying, why do you have to go back 800, 900 years?
Well, as you just pointed out, Robert, he did.
He went back in my lifetime.
Jim Crow.
Happened in my lifetime.
He doesn't even have to go that far.
You still have the Klan, branches of the Klan that claim Christianity, that they're defending the white supremacy in Christianity.
The Westboro Baptist Church is still around.
Yes, yes, you don't, exactly.
You do not have to go that far.
You have the Klan.
Alabama only made interracial marriages illegal in all yet.
You go all the way back to the year 2000.
Really?
Actually happened in this century.
Yes, yes, that's right.
You're right.
That's why Scarborough was.
And, you know, Jerry Fallow and people, they used to say that it was in the Bible that the racists shouldn't marry.
Yes.
That's true.
No, that.
Well, I'm going to give you some Bible quotes in a second.
Let's hear a little bit more of Joe Scarborough.
He tries to say you can be really plain.
You don't have to tiptoe around the issue of Islamic, militant Islamic, and except he does have a hard time.
Let's listen to him try to give a straight talk.
Left-wing moral equivalency.
Sometimes you can just say, sometimes you just say, hey.
He can't get it out.
Sometimes you could just say, oh, God, now I'm going to say something wrong.
So then he starts thinking about it.
And he's like, oh, God.
You could just say, he has to set it up at least twice.
And then watch how he kind of mealy mouths it.
Watch, let's listen to it.
Okay.
You can just say.
Sometimes you just say, hey, you know what?
There are some really, really bad Muslim extremists.
And you don't have to go back.
You don't have to go to the other side.
So I don't know if you noticed, what he's doing is he's trying to You could just say, you could just say, hey, you know, there are some Muslim extremists.
But then you could, see how he didn't just say it?
Right.
It was kind of funny.
That's one of the sweet things Joe Scarborough does a lot is he'll reveal himself within the same sentence.
The other thing though that I admire about Joe Scarborough is that on his panel, he surrounds himself with people who are willing to challenge him.
Well, that was, so that was the thing about, so he has a little bit more to say.
Hold on, but Fox News then called Barack Obama's speech verbal rape.
You know, Fox News calling Obama's speech verbal rape is like Bill Cosby berating the president because he roofied America.
Yeah.
So hang on.
I got to find this.
Joe, so Joe Scarborough was not done.
Can I just fact-check Joe Scarborough real quick?
Yeah.
The Crusades were started by the Vatican.
Like the Pope himself declared it.
Yeah.
You know, he was Pope Urban II, I think it was.
Yeah, but he's saying that it was in response to the Muslims taking over land.
And that's what he's saying.
He's saying, well, we were just responding.
It's the same old BS that, you know, it's been going forever.
That's what they say about war.
You're supposed to be Christian.
What land were the Muslims taking over?
It doesn't even matter.
You're supposed to be Christian.
You're not supposed to kill people for land.
I think Jesus' commandment was turn the other cheek and love your neighbor as yourself.
Love your enemy and love your enemy as yourself and turn the other cheek.
That was what Jesus said.
And these guys are then launching wars.
Anyway, so here's Joe Scarborough couldn't help himself and he keeps going.
For some people on the left, I saw a CNN documentary maybe five, six years ago.
And it was, you know, extremism in the name of God.
And they were so desperate to find Jewish examples of extremism.
And then this was right after 9-11.
And then their example for Christian examples of extremism was some schools, some Christian schools in America actually make women wear skirts below their knees.
How ghastly.
Let's see.
Wear skirts below your knees on this side at fundamentalist schools.
Blow up the World Trade Center on this side.
No, no, it's not okay.
It's not okay for this president.
You almost have to ask the question, where did he go to church?
Where would he get such ideas from?
How amazing, Frank, exactly your point.
That, first of all, he just pulls something out of his ass that no one's ever heard.
Nobody can fact check because he just says, I saw a documentary.
He doesn't say the name of it or what channel or when it was.
He's making this up.
Because if somebody making a documentary was making a documentary to embarrass Christianity, you wouldn't have to look very far.
You could go, I don't know, maybe to the lynchings in America, maybe to slavery in America, maybe to Jim Crow in America.
People use the Bible to defend all those things, being against interracial marriage in America, like Frank just pointed out, which didn't get overturned in, was it Georgia until 2000?
So Alabama, you can look into the KKK right here in America.
You can go to Waco.
You can go to Ruby Ridge.
You can go to Dr. Johnson.
Go ahead.
I heard someone point out today, it's a really good point, is that nobody describes the KKK as a Christian extremist group.
Right.
Which you could easily describe them as because they all claim to be Christian.
Yes.
No doubt.
Yes, you could have looked towards the KKK, which is still alive and well in America.
Or you can point to maybe a born-again Christian lying our country into illegally invading another country, killing all its people, torturing them in the name of freedom that we just admitted to, and then stealing their resources.
Or we could just go to Guantanamo.
That's a great point.
Go ahead.
Actually, I wanted to go back to...
Yes.
He literally said that.
Yes, he did.
Bob Woodward asked him, did you seek advice from your father when you went into Iraq, meaning his father, George Herbert Walker Bush?
And George W. Bush responded, yes, I consulted the Heavenly Fathers.
That's a true quote.
Go ahead, Mark.
What'd you want to say?
Well, I want to go back to the Fox verbal rape comment.
Because if I remember correctly, didn't Fox tell us that we shouldn't worry about that because we have biological protection?
That's right.
We're not going to get pregnant.
Yes.
Legitimate rape.
We should not be that concerned.
Ah, right.
That's very funny.
So we're not going to get pregnant with Barack Obama's word baby.
So let me just, and you know, people, Christians like Joe Scarborough love to say that they didn't.
That the Christians were the one.
Well, here, I'm going to play what they said on here's what they here's what the right wing was saying about barack obama's speech here we go who ended slavery in jim crow it was completely inappropriate reverend martin luther king christianity is the reason we don't have slavery in in the world today i mean think about historical jim crow laws as if it was christians who were responsible for racism in america i think he's forgetting uh as if it was explained the jews time again as if it was christians who were responsible
for racism in America.
Was it a bunch of Muslims who took slaves from Africa and brought them to Georgia?
Yes.
Was it a bunch of Jews who took slaves from Africa and brought them to Alabama?
Was it a bunch of, I don't know, what else could it be?
Was it a bunch of Hindus who took a bunch of slaves from Africa and then instituted Jim Crow, fought a civil war, used Jesus to defend it?
I mean, go ahead.
During Martin Luther King's time, if you would ask J. Edgar Hoover or any conservative to describe Martin Luther King, Christian is not the word they would have used.
They would have said communist.
They would have said communist.
You're exactly right, Frank.
So...
Can I?
So it just...
So it's...
Go ahead, Robert.
Just as a matter of analysis, these guys are clearly purposefully missing the point, which is that he's not saying that Christians...
Christianity caused these things.
He's saying exactly what he said about Muslims, which is that they used their faith to justify heinous acts.
Just letting you know.
There's a little bit more from Fox News.
That it was the Christian movement, led by the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who resisted racism.
And many of the most staunch voices that helped to bring this country in a whole new understanding of racial justice were voices from the pulpit.
Okay, so just to...
I'm just going to read you a few quotes from the Bible about slavery.
Okay?
This is in Leviticus.
However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you.
This is in the Bible.
You may purchase male or female slaves from the foreigners who live among you.
You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land.
You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance.
You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way.
That's Leviticus.
And here's another quote from Ephesians.
Ephesians.
There's a quote from Ephesians.
It says, Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart just as you would obey Christ.
That's in the Bible.
Slaves, obey your masters just like you would obey Christ.
That's in the Bible.
Well, that's...
It represents...
I mean, that's...
It's in Plato's Republic, too.
Is that from the Bible or Fifty Shades of Grey?
You're listening to The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, I got a phone call from Tom Brokaw.
Let's see.
Oh, good.
All right.
On the phone, I have celebrated newsman Tom Brokaw.
Hi, Tom.
How are you?
Hi, Jimmy.
Good to talk to you, I think.
Now, you're Jimmy Dore, public radio host, right?
Yeah, that's me, Mr. Brokaw.
Jimmy, please call me Mr. Brokaw.
Yeah, I did.
So you're Jimmy Dore, the public radio host, not Jimmy Dore, the asshole comedian.
Huh?
There's also an asshole comedian, Jimmy Dore, who's always, who's always offending religious people and attacking the good people in the news media for being too cozy with their corporate boss.
Is that you?
No, that's...
No, that's not me.
But I also wish that our corporate news people would speak more truth to power.
Are you kidding?
Of course I speak truth to power.
You think General Electric would have paid me millions of dollars a year if I didn't speak truth to power?
Yeah, in fact, that's exactly why they pay you millions of dollars, so you won't expose them or upset the status quo, Tom.
If I didn't speak truth to power, do you think I would have been given the Sylvanus Thayer Award?
What's that?
The Sylvanus Thayer Award is an award that is given each year by the United States Military Academy at West Point.
Do you think I would be given an award from the United States Military if I didn't speak truth to power?
Yes.
Do you think you'd get paid millions of dollars by huge corporations or given awards by the military if you didn't stir shit up?
Yeah, I think that's exactly what happens.
So I'm glad this is Jimmy Dore, the public radio host and not Jimmy Dore asshole comedian.
Okay, listen, can we talk about Brian Williams?
Oh, like we did last week?
Yeah, like we did last week.
Sure, it's a big tragedy.
We are all really hurting.
I blame myself.
What?
You blame yourself?
Yes, I did such an amazing job as NBC News Anchor and was so universally beloved and Brian felt pressure to live up to that and so he inflated himself to keep up with my legacy.
And you blame yourself for that?
It's my fault for being such a complete broadcaster and overall kick-ass kind of rich and famous guy that everybody loves.
I blame you for a lot of stuff, Tom, but never this.
Oh, shit, the construction crew is here to resurface my tennis court and put a new roof on the pool house.
So you have tennis courts and a pool and a pool house?
What's a pool house for, Tom?
Yeah, the pool house is for when you want to take a swim and you have to go to the bathroom and you don't want to walk all the way back to your house just to take a dump.
So you build a house by the pool just for that.
It makes sense.
Okay, Tom.
Well, listen, it's good to talk to you.
We got to go.
Bye-bye.
Okay, Tom Brokaw, ladies and gentlemen.
He's rich.
Hey, two quick things.
March 6th, that's a Friday.
We're doing a live show at the YouTube studios in Playa del Rey.
You know where that is?
playa del ray in uh you know in the in here in the southland as they say only on the tv news so we're doing a live show if you'd like to be a member of that audience send me an email at my old timey email jimmy door at earthlink.net.
And in the subject line, put a YouTube show.
So we're doing it.
If you've never been down there, they have this state-of-the-art facility.
They've got all these great sound stages.
And the Young Turks did their big one.
They had their billionth view or two billionth view party.
It was down there, and they did a big show out of there.
A lot of people do all their big shows out of the big YouTube studios out in Playa Del Rey.
So if you'd like to be part of that audience, send me an email at my old-time email, JimmyDore at Earthlink.net.
Okay.
All right.
And that's coming up March 6th.
That's a Friday.
All right, now let's get back to the second half of the show.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Dore show.
We got a lot coming up in the second half.
We got phone calls from Luke Russert, Dominic Strauss-Kahn.
We're going to tackle Brian Williams.
I'm joined in the studio by hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura.
Also, Edwin Umanya from The Young Turks.
On the phone, we have hilarious comedian and radio show host and the host of the great podcast, The Fighting Ungers, which can be found at thefightingungers.com.
I was a guest on that show.
Check it out.
It's my good buddy, Mark Unger.
And from Mystery Science Theater 3000, it's TV's Frank, Frank Connoff.
Let's get back to the show.
Brian Williams is in a lot of hot water, and it looks like his career may be over because he didn't just tell one lie, he told many.
His journalism career.
His journalism.
Oh, he's going to be, he's going to, I think he's going to be hosting a late night show soon.
In fact, he wanted to host a tonight show.
Did you guys know that?
That's a real thing.
Yeah, that's what they said.
So when Jay Leno stepped down, Brian Williams said he wanted to host a tonight show.
Of course he did.
Of course he did.
That's a guy who's got a fire in the belly for the news.
He just doesn't want to.
I hear that, you know, in his fantasies, sometimes he's not even in them.
Lester Hope fills his book.
And when he was in Katrina, he said he got dysentery.
And now they're saying, I think he got dysentery.
I would believe that if he got it from all the, from swallowing all of his own bullshit.
So here's a commercial they were running for Brian Williams up until this week.
It's a thing that you build slowly over time.
It can happen during big moments.
More often than Steve day-to-day things.
And what you build if you work hard enough, if you respect it, is a powerful thing called trust.
Okay.
And then it ends with the graphic.
He's been there.
He'll be there.
Wow.
I mean, that couldn't be more on the note.
That's almost like if there had previously been commercials with Bill Cosby.
It's called not drugging women.
Yeah.
If you respect it, like you respect the sovereignty of a woman's vagina.
So Lester Holt, he had to say this last night.
Brian is a member of our family, but so are you, our viewers, and we will work every night to be worthy of your trust.
Okay, you're not worthy.
You weren't worthy of our trust before this.
Again, I know, Frank, we've made this point on the show, but why does everybody acting like this is a big deal?
The whole news, the whole complete corporate news structure cheerleaded on a war based on a pack of lies.
And they have no defense for it.
Brian Williams' defense for that, that the whole news media let down our country on a false war, is that we were all scared because of 9-11.
That's literally what his excuse is.
I had the video.
I lost it.
You can't find it.
But he was being interviewed at a...
Yes.
In fact, Frank, you posted a video this week from, we did a story in 2013 about Brian Williams interviewing Edward Snowden and how all the horrible things he did in that news report.
And then last December, when that commercial first came out of him being trustworthy, we did a video about how untrustworthy he was and how he brought on generals.
And he didn't tell us that they were being paid by defense contractors.
And he brought him on his show to respond.
All that stuff has all been out there and nobody.
And nobody cares.
Like, that's out there.
Those are real lies that have consequences.
This is minor compared to his other.
This is incidental.
These don't have any effect on how people feel about a war or what they want to do.
This is just stuff that inflates him as a person.
I mean, I read that, what was it, like 30 or 35% of Americans thought that he should be forgiven.
I mean, seriously, like that's become our culture.
Right.
You do the Maya Culpa thing, and then it's fine.
But the difference is, you know, if you use steroids for a few games, you know, in a baseball season versus you lied reporting the news, those are two different things.
One threatens the Republic, one doesn't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The whole thing of you being a news guy is you're supposed to be able to report facts back accurately.
And when you get them wrong repeatedly and they happen to inflate your ego, then we kind of know that you may be full of it.
I mean, to me, you know, it's no different than a surgeon drunk during surgery.
I mean, it's that.
Yeah, you are correct.
I would agree.
You know, here's the thing.
Frank sent me a link to a story.
Someone's doing some great work.
I'll worry that I'll have to put in post.
Oh, I think that's the Daily Howler.
Yeah, The Daily Howler has done some great work on Brian Williams going back to 2004 and December 2nd, 2004.
He was being interviewed on C-SPAN, and Brian Williams said, quote, it's my duty to listen to Rush Limbaugh.
And that Rush Limbaugh has actually yet to get the credit he is due.
He said that in December 2nd, 2004.
That's true.
He said, I do, he goes, listen, let me read this, Frank.
He goes, I do listen to Rush Limbaugh.
I listen to it from a radio in my office, or depending on my day, if I'm in the car, I will listen to Rush.
And he will tell you, I've been listening to him for years.
I think it's my duty to listen to Rush.
I think Rush has actually yet to get the credit he is due because his audience for so many years felt they were in the wilderness of this country and no one was talking to them.
That's what Brian Williams said about the biggest, one of the biggest, most destructive forces in American media ever.
Well, and what wilderness is he talking about?
I don't know if you're about to read the other thing that I sent you, which was his show, Brian Williams show on MSNBC the day after Al Gore.
Yes, yes, here it comes.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, good, good.
So Al Gore on September 23rd, 2002, he Gave a speech saying we shouldn't go into Iraq.
This is going to be a big mistake.
Turns out he was 100% right.
Shocking.
Shocking, right?
On September 24th, the next day, Brian Williams was hosting his own show on cable and CNBC, and he said this.
He introduced a news segment on the speech made by former Vice President Al Gore, and he introduced it like this: quote, our friend Rush Limbaugh told his radio listeners today he almost stayed home from work, not due to health reasons, but because he was so livid at a speech given yesterday by former Vice President Al Gore criticizing the Bush administration's apparent march to war in Iraq.
Is it un-American to speak out against the Bush plan to take on Iraq?
That's how he introduced the piece.
Is it un-American to question our rush to war?
Is it un-American?
That's how E.J. Dion responded to that, to him saying that by saying this.
He wrote this, since when do we debate that it's un-American to take on a president?
Sure, that subject certainly didn't come up during the Clinton scandals when people were trashing Clinton's foreign policy all the time.
Have you ever seen the news report quote, Jane's Fonda couldn't get out of bed because she was so mad about former Vice President Nixon's speech or quote, Phil Downahu couldn't get out of bed because he was so mad about President Bush's speech.
We are told all the time it is the liberal media and here Rush Limbaugh not being able to get out of bed supersedes what Al Gore says.
If you want to have Rush Limbaugh on trashing Al Gore afterward, that's fine.
Report the news, report what he said, and then criticize him.
That was E.J. Deion giving it to Brian Williams.
But Brian Williams has gotten to pass his whole career.
Brian Williams' punishment for that was millions of dollars and being sent to the absolute top of his profession.
Yeah, they gave him $10 million a year after kissing Rush Limbaugh's ass.
I mean, could there.
I didn't realize he came from CNBC.
He was at, he was, yeah, no, Brian Williams, he worked for NBC News.
So he would, he had a, he would do a Newton nightly newscast for a little while at CNBC.
Oh, great.
So he's like the Maria Bartarona of 2002.
Yes.
And we know how great she is.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, all it takes is just looking at Brian Williams for 10 seconds.
You know what his background is.
You know where he grew up.
You can imagine what clubs he must have been in high school.
I mean, that guy was clearly like all over future business leaders of America, you know, white guys with a lot of money.
Whatever club he could be in that supported the rich, he's that kind of guy.
And he's a Rush Limbaugh guy.
He though, but that's part of him, I think, going on and on about how he loves Rush Limbaugh is that he and like Tim Rustert at NBC, they made a big deal of portraying themselves as regular, everyday working class people, and they had full-time PR campaigns that portrayed them that way to the public, which was crap.
This is correct.
By the way, Brian Williams got in trouble for doing a PR stunt by using soldiers to puff himself up.
The fact that he inserted himself in the story trying to honor that guy, quote unquote, honor a soldier at the Rangers game, that was completely staged by him and NBC News.
There just happened to be a camera in front of Brian Williams and that soldier at a Rangers game while they were in that, while they were applauding for him.
And then when they did, so I covered this last week on the show, so I don't want to do it.
But again, he is William Hurt in broadcast news.
If you have not seen broadcast news, go see it.
He's exactly that guy.
Brian Williams didn't finish college.
Doesn't care that he didn't finish college.
Brian Williams, if you go watch one of his commencement speeches, he gives a lot of them.
He gives commencement speeches you can find on YouTube.
They are so vapid.
And again, he can't help but puff up himself.
He takes a moment out.
It's just, if you, and he, at every commencement speech, he does a thing where he wants everyone to applaud for the veterans.
You're cheerleading war, Brian.
You're a newsman and you're cheerleading war.
You can respect people who serve our country without cheerleading war.
And that's what you're doing when you do that, especially in the middle of an illegal war, especially in the middle of an unending war against terrorism that is nothing but BS, that was caused by you cheerleading our invasion into Iraq.
That's why we have ISIS, because we went into Iraq.
And you know what, you know, people like Brian Williams, they looked at war as a career opportunity.
No doubt about it, Frank.
It's a way to get attention.
And he just looks at it as a big thing that's going to help his career, which it did.
Yes, it definitely did.
You've got a guy like Brian Wimbaugh.
It hurts Bill Donahue's career because he tried to tell the truth about it.
But for someone like Brian Williams, who, while they were firing Bill Donahue, Brian Williams was praising Rush Limbaugh.
Brian Williams, say what you want about him.
An expert at his career and careerism and rising to the top.
He was a master of that.
Well, that's all that's left in America.
You've got a guy like you've got Brian Williams and all the stories that we're hearing about him.
You've got Jon Stewart stepping down from the Daily Show and, oh, you know, that's such a tragedy.
Neither one of those guys is journalists.
Meanwhile, Bob Simon, a guy who actually was a journalist, who has been a journalist since, you know, the early 60s, dies in a car crash and no one's saying a word about it.
Yeah, it's barely getting...
it's not really getting any press.
You're right.
No.
you Okay, I got a phone call from Luke Russert.
Oh, good.
Joining us on the phone right now, it's NBC News correspondent Luke Russert.
Yo, Jimbo, things are pretty grim around here.
Yeah, I think I know the reason why.
Oh, you heard about my assistant screwing up my Starbucks order?
This thing of a coffee order that a reporter gives you is like, it's bad journalism.
Actually, Luke, I was talking about Brian Williams.
Oh, yeah, right.
Brian Dog lied about being in a helicopter in Iraq that was attacked by an RPG.
But don't judge him too harshly.
Why not?
Because, well, I don't know if you're aware of this, but he was once in a helicopter in Iraq that was attacked by an RPG.
It's pretty traumatized.
And that's why he's been acting all cuckoo for Coco Puff.
It's a psychological fact.
When people are involved in incidents that never happen to them, then they tend to embellish the details.
Luke, you're not making any sense.
Jimmy, this is a touchy subject for me because my dad, Tim Russert, was killed by an al-qaeda mortar fire luke i happen to know for a fact that your father keeled over and died in the nbc break room in washington dc yeah right after he was hit by mortar fire that's not what happened luke jimmy this account of the incident was confirmed in
an anecdotal story I told to a chick I was trying to bone when I was drunk one time.
Well, then I guess it's irrefutable.
Jimmy, can we get off this topic?
I don't want to talk about liars and frauds and deceivers anymore.
I'd rather look back and focus on a simple happy memory like when I was a kid and I went to a Red Sox game with my dad and Mike Barnacle.
Luke, I hate to tell you this, but Mike Barnacle is a known plagiarist who tried to pass off writings of others as his own.
For fuck's sake, lighten up, Jimmy.
Don't you have any forgiveness in your heart?
As Mike Barnacle once so eloquently wrote, to err is human, to forgive, to find.
Mike Barnacle didn't write that, Luke.
That phrase was coined by Alexander Pope.
Oh, so now you're going to bring my Catholic faith into this, huh?
I'll soon hear what Jesus once said to the Romans.
Why are you busting my balls?
I'm just trying to live up to a legacy of my dad, Jimmy.
Well, Luke, you don't place a high premium on truth, so I'd say you're more than living up to his legacy.
Thanks, Jimmy.
I appreciate that.
But just remember, Luke, as Shakespeare said, no legacy is so rich as honesty.
Shakespeare?
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
It sucks.
What?
I went to a play of his once called Hamburger Hamlet or something crap like that.
He comes out on stage, he's all like, to be or not to be.
And I was like, come on, brah.
I've heard that line like a million times already.
Why can't you come up with something original?
But Luke, the line, to be or not to be, is originally from Shakespeare's Hamlet.
And where did you hear that?
In a blog post?
Jimmy, you don't think I'm educated about Shakespeare and junk, but I happen to know from my studies that he wasn't all he was cracked up to be.
For instance, did you know that he stole the plot of Romeo and Juliet from West Side Story?
And yet Shakespeare was always so arrogant and full of himself, going around writing all these plays like he was some kind of Shakespeare or something.
Luke, I think we're going to have to end it here because my head is about to explode.
Well, here's a tip.
If you embellish the story by telling everyone your head exploded when you were hit by an RPG
in iraq make sure there aren't any witnesses okay that's good advice luke thanks for stopping by okay that's luke russer's laser written by frank connoff nice job the jimmy door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes or for other ways to subscribe go to jimmydoorcomedy.com and while you're there you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too remember Jimmy spells his last name D-O-R-E JimmyDoorcomedy.com
So we all got upset that ISIS released that video that Fox News released unedited, the propaganda video, the 21 or 22-minute long propaganda video from ISIS where they burned a Jordanian pilot alive.
And everybody was talking and the Fox News felt they needed to show you this so that we knew just how horrible and unhuman the Islamic terrorists are.
And I'm pointing out like, yeah, that's horrible what they did.
War is horrible.
That guy, that bomber was dropping bombs on them and it was blowing people's heads off and I'm sure it started a few fires that killed some people.
And so that was my point.
Like if you – them trying to make – point the finger at Islamic terrorists and say, look how horrible they are.
We're not like that.
And my point was, do you think that we kill in a nice way?
Do you think when a drone falls on people that it taps them on the shoulder and hugs them to death?
No.
We're killing people in the most brutal ways.
OK?
WikiLeaks showed us how we were doing double taps, right?
Meaning we would kill people from a helicopter and then when the people came – like the medics came to help them, we'd kill them.
The rescue team.
The rescue team would come to help the people wounded.
We'd kill them.
Jesus Christ.
So that – so there's – we do a lot of horrible stuff, right?
So – and people were making a big deal out of it.
They burned them alive.
Like you couldn't think of anything worse than that, right?
You burned somebody alive.
And I'm like, well, wait a minute.
In World War II, I'm pretty sure we used flamethrowers.
Well, Napalm.
We firebombed an entire city.
Yeah, we firebombed Tokyo.
I mean, Dresden, Tokyo.
I mean, what we did there, it's crazy.
So we firebombed.
I remember I watched Robert McNamara, who was a defense secretary during the Vietnam War, and he did a documentary called The Fog of War.
He was in a documentary called The Fog of War, and he talked about how we firebombed Japan before we dropped the A-bomb on them.
And he goes, no, that's war crimes.
We firebombed their whole city.
Firebombed it.
then i'm watching this this is from the military channel now let's listen to this as the americans conducted their island hopping campaign against the japanese they were confounded by the heavily protected bunkers and pillboxes which they found on most of the islands without access to heavy artillery the u.s army needed a way to flush out and destroy the enemy the answer flamethrowers basically you're using a flamethrower against somebody who is in a dug-in position where they can shoot out you can't shoot into it and
Basically, you're going to be pouring this burning gasoline through the little hole in his pillbox to burn them out.
When you say burn them out, he's meaning you burn them alive.
You don't set a fire in the corner and then they get scared and they come running out and you put handcuffs on them.
He means that you set their skin on fire with flaming gasoline that you're shooting at them.
But the way he said it sounded so proper.
It did sound nice.
Right.
There's more to this.
Each pillbox.
So here's a guy who actually worked a flamethrower.
What we called apertures, or at least a slit in that pillbox so that they could fire out of it.
And that's what you tried to roll your flame through.
The flame would go right through there and was very effective.
February 23, 1945, Iwo Jima.
Flamethrower Woody Williams was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor after single-handedly taking out seven pillboxes against the against the full force of the japanese so this guy burned alive at least seven people oh at least so he took out seven pillbox or at least one guy in each pillbox so at least seven people this one guy alone burned alive, seven people.
And by the way, there's a video on YouTube where you could see a guy come running out of the hole on fire.
And it looks like a kid.
It looks like a 10-year-old kid.
And it probably was because there was a lot of kids that Japanese forced them into.
Anyway.
Towards the end, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, anyway, there's a little bit more to this.
I can remember I'm calling on my belly.
And I remember coming charging around the end of that pillbox toward me.
There were five or six of them.
And I just opened up the flame and caught them.
He opened the flame and caught them.
He caught them, meaning I set them on fire.
He set them on.
He saw them coming.
Jimmy, Jimmy, people can't.
This is radio.
People can't see it.
That's actually Brian Williams telling us.
Okay, here, there's a little bit more to this.
It was just like they went from real fast running to real slow motion.
But by getting rid of those seven pillboxes, that opened up a hole.
So we got through.
Now, I'm not saying what that guy did is any worse than anything else that anybody else did during war.
He was given a flamethrower.
You got to kill the Japanese.
You got to kill them.
What I'm saying is war is horrible.
You know, war is horrible.
We burn people alive ourselves.
Then we went on to drop atomic weapons on those people.
We killed men, women, and children in an atomic blast.
We all remember that iconic photo of that naked Vietnamese girl running down the street naked because her villa just got napalmed.
She was napalmed.
We all know this.
So why are we pretending like what ISIS did is any worse than anything we all have done in war?
We just admitted, by the way, to torturing people for no reason.
Most of them innocent that we knew about.
We let maniacs do it, even because the real interrogators wouldn't take part in it.
I mean, who are we trying to kid?
But again, this is the military-industrial complex being cheered on with their mouthpieces in the media.
And they all like Chris Matthews can't get over how crazy ISIS is.
Do you not remember we used flamethrowers in World War II?
Do you not remember we used napalm in Vietnam?
Do you not remember that you just reported on torture for two weeks straight?
Do you not remember this stuff?
Why are we pretending?
So that's that whole thing of we're good, they're bad.
And so it justifies any.
So that's all this is.
And the only reason why Fox News showed that unedited video is because they want more war.
They want you to get mad.
They want you to get scared.
And they want you to not.
They want more clicks on their website, which is exactly what they're doing.
Exactly.
I think for that thing than for anything they've ever put on their website.
I'm sure.
I'm certain of it.
Sure.
So I just wanted to play that.
I just want people to like, and nobody, you know, you watch the news and nobody even mentions this stuff.
Like, hey, by the way, didn't we use flamethrowers?
Didn't we give people medals for using flamethrower?
We used to hand out medals to people who use flamethrowers.
Why are we, who are we kidding?
Sounds like you've forgotten that there are terrorists who hate our freedom.
So Dominic Strauss-Kahn is the former International Monetary Fund chief, the IMF.
Oh, yeah.
So he's in a bunch of trouble right now because he's being charged with aggravated pimping.
Now, you remember when he was in the United States, a maid in New York accused him of rape.
So he paid her some money and then they never charged him, right?
So then he goes back and it turns out he's throwing all these parties in France with all his rich friends with prostitutes, which it's not illegal to be a prostitute in France, but it is illegal to set up prostitutes.
So that's why he's being charged with aggravated pimping.
And he claims that it was the women who threw themselves at him and he didn't know they were prostitutes.
He didn't know they were prostitutes.
And the judge, the prosecutor said, you know, he threw 12 sex parties and he goes, yeah, but that was over three years.
This is true.
He said all these things.
This is all true.
And so I got him on the phone.
We had him on the phone once before.
I hope we can understand him.
He's got a heavy French accent.
Let's see if we can understand.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hello, Jimmy.
How are you doing?
Yeah, he cuts me in the middle of my afternoon meditation.
Afternoon meditation?
that didn't sound like you were meditating.
Well, in France, where the men meditate a little differently than they do in America.
Oh, really?
Well, what exactly do you mean when you say meditate?
What kind of meditation are you talking about?
Cheap kinds where you sit in a chair and close your eyes.
Uh-huh.
And blonde girl fillates you.
Did you say fillate?
Meditate all the TV.
Okay, all right.
Hey, there's a lot more to that Dominic Strauss con phone call, but we don't have time for it on today's podcast.
So what do you do?
You got to get the premium.
How do I get the premium?
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on join premium, you make your donation, and then we send you a passcode and you get access to all the premium content.
We dropped a double episode.
We're dropping another double episode this Sunday.
Get ready.
We're going to have, oh, we're going to have rest of that Dominic Strauss con call.
Plus, we have a guy from Boston who swears his head off about the snow, which is also very funny.
Plus, there's a lot more stuff happening in the premium content.
Swing by JimmyDoorComedy.com.
$5 a month to get you access.
All you have to do, and if you want to pay for the whole year, we give you a month free.
So you pay it all at once instead of you can do the math.
Okay, thanks everybody who does that.
All right, and guess what's happening?
Guess what's happening right now?
Mike McRae is starting a new podcast.
And here is a little promo for it that he put together for us.
I'm going to play it right now.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Hello, I'm Mike McRae.
Do you like rock music?
Do you like classic rock?
Do you wear ACDC t-shirts unironically?
Are you a sentient pulsating orb of pure testosterone?
Then I would like to personally invite you to a very unique podcast experience.
Legends of Rock with Mike McRae.
Each week I will be talking one-on-one with legendary rock musicians about some of the greatest events and incidents from the golden age of rock from such bands as Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Jethro Toe, Motorhead, Black Oak, Arkansas, White Snake, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Spooky Tooth, Atomic Booster, Scooter House, Slap Happy Henry Cow.
Here's a sample of what you will be hearing on upcoming episodes of Legends of Rock with Mike McRae.
So I guess it's pretty safe to say that you are not a big fan of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
I mean, is that?
Oh, fuck no, man.
They were just a bunch of fucking dirts.
We couldn't fucking stun.
The music sounds like a fucking computer joke.
And all the fucking thing for the rest of us.
Oh, fuck off, Cover Gale.
You know you feel the songwriter.
We first caught a motor in the 90s.
It was the first time I heard boop fucking sounds.
Legends of rock.
Roger.
It's longer and longer.
In fact, one of his goals was to do like the longest rock songs that has ever been made.
And Sid was opposed to this here.
He preferred the sort of shorter singles.
It really drove him.
It drove him insane in all of ways.
Although it's my understanding, and I think most people's understanding that Sid Barrett went insane because of excessive LSD usage.
Well, yes, I mean, that's certainly a sort of a temple of Big Floyd mythology.
The truth of the matter, to be quite frank, is that Sid went mad from listening to the music of Big Floyd.
Yeah, I always wondered about that.
I mean, why so many?
Well, yeah, I mean, I mean, that's the reason all of certain rock bands had so many guys in them because we started out a normal-sized band, but then everybody had like an unimportant brother.
Right.
Mama be like, oh, baby, why?
Go ahead and put your brother cliff in the main.
Just put him in the band.
Okay.
Mama, you don't even play the Einstein.
Well, maybe he can just hit two sticks together.
Come on, do it for mom.
But you love your mama, and you know, sure.
Next thing you know, we got three full drum kits on stage, and then there are eight other guys walking around playing woodwalk and cowbell.
Wow.
And not in time either.
Well, man.
He just got ridiculous.
It's like, man, fuck it, y'all, man.
Legends of rock.
It was around this time when Jethro Tunnell started leading the charge, as it were, to replace the electric guitar with the flute.
Sort of the primary rock instrument.
Both musically and symbolically.
I hate to push back here, but I think there's a lot of people who might argue that that never happened at all.
Well, those people would be Cretans, wouldn't they?
Kiss is a band for winners.
You see someone wearing a Kiss t-shirt or the Kiss Army Kiss t-shirt wearing full Kiss makeup.
You know that person is a winner.
And that's what Kiss is about.
And that's what Kiss is for.
Legends of Rock.
Kiss.
Kiss is not music.
Kiss is pseudo-ronk.
Made by Carnival Barkers for people with no self-respect or integrity.
Legends of rock.
Now, I'm sure you're aware that, you know, all the Nazi insignia and the sort of collecting of Nazi memorabilia is kind of off-putting to some people.
Well, I'm not a Nazi.
If that's what you imply him.
Okay, well, that's good to hear.
No one disagrees with Abel.
We were right bastards.
The Germans.
Well, at the same time, you've got to give Credit the credit to do it.
What do you mean by that exactly?
Well, like it or not, the Nazis invented rock and roll.
Really?
There's a well-known fact that after the war, the Americans both were the German rocket scientists, rock and roll musicians.
Every America, they pretended they're both of those who invented America.
In fact, it was originally called Rocket Roll in the next sense of the United States.
People don't know it, but it's true.
I had no idea.
Probably don't know that Rock and Rose's German extrusion.
The things I learned during the show.
Legends of Rock.
It's always seemed to me that everything you do, you do it with a great passion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's whether it's with Led Zeppelin or Allison or all of the wonderful things in between that I've done.
It's all the same, you know, it all comes down to the same...
You know, what part of the cosmos do you want to cleave to?
You know, what is the one thing, that singular thing you want to love it?
To caress it, to make love to it, to rub it, to cradle it in your arms and pick the nips out of its fur.
You're swimming with it.
There it is.
To designate it your POD on all of your neutral fronts, you know, because that's what it is, really.
It's that unknowable thing, that cosmos cosmotic.
You know, that would that we don't know.
We don't know what it is.
Now we don't know, but our ancestors knew they knew all too well what it was.
Our forefathers who were Vikings insane, beating the ways across the railroad to Iceland, you know, with that song in their hearts.
Mama Mama Mama Mama Mama My My My My Mike!
Do you know what I mean?
I gotta say no, man.
From Voltaic Video and musical director Pat Dean, Legends of Rock is the groundbreaking classic rock retrospective that absolutely no one has been waiting for.
Look forward starting the March on iTunes.
Legends of Rock with Mike McRae.
Are you ready to rock?
Okay, that was Mike McRae's thing.
Wow, crazy rock, okay?
Okay, so there you have it.
That's Mike McRae's new podcast.
Now, it's not available yet.
I'm pretty sure, I'm 100% sure that it won't be available till March.
I'm pretty sure that's what Mike told me.
So I'm sure we will plug it again.
But it sounds hilarious.
Okay, we will keep you abreast.
And don't forget March 6th.
That's a Friday, March 6th.
We're doing the live show, the Jimmy Door Show Live at the YouTube Space.
It's called YouTube Space in Playa Del Rey.
If you've never been there, it's a great place.
If you want to come, send me an email at my old-timey email, jimmydore at Earthlink.net.
That's a Friday, March 6th, okay?
Implaya Del Rey at the YouTube space.
Okay, so that is all the time we have for this week's show.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Robert Yasamura, Frank Conniff, Mike McRae, and did I say Steph Zamorano already?
And Steph Zamarano.
Look at that.
Okay, and I always forget to mention the voice of the announcer at the top of the show who announces the show, Ron Lynch, everybody's favorite Ron Lynch.
Okay, by the way, Jim Earl started us off the show with The Morning Remembrance.
Jim Earl's book, Morning Remembrance, all those hilarious fake obituaries of real dead people can be found at jimerl.com.
And big thanks to Mark Unger, who has got a great podcast with his brother.
It's called The Fighting Ungers.
So check him out, fightingungers.com.
And shout out to Sean James.
If you've got a Macintosh and needs to be fixed, he can fix it for you right over the internet.
Send him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
And you spell Sean S-H-A-U-N.
Okay, that's it for this week.
Hope you enjoyed it.
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