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Nov. 27, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
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20141127_The_JImmy_Dore_Show_11-27-14
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Before we get to the show, I want to let everybody know who's in the San Francisco, San Jose area.
I'm going to be telling jokes up there Thanksgiving weekend, November 28, 29, and 30 at Rooster T Feathers Comedy Club in Sunnyvale.
So there's links for tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Thanksgiving weekend, Sunnyvale, California.
Rooster T Feathers.
See you there.
Now let's get to the show.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, the Jimmy Dore Show.
This week we celebrated Thanksgiving, or as it's now known, Black Friday Eve.
For me, the end of November always comes with mixed feelings.
On the one hand, I'm depressed that the year is over so soon.
But on the other hand, now that's pretty much how I feel.
Very little gets done between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day unless you consider drinking an accomplishment, which I'm starting to.
Here in Los Angeles, the holidays bring slightly cooler weather and an uneasy sense of having one last year in which to make it in show business.
With Thanksgiving, our thoughts return again and again to the importance of family, no matter how much we try to think of something else.
That's why millions of people can't wait for dinner to be over so they can go shopping.
It's easy to forget as we wander across the world with our own private concerns and agendas that the point of everything may possibly just be money.
Anyway, that would explain why, for some of us, this time of year feels empty and meaningless.
Because it is.
Ha ha ha!
Nice!
I want a heartbreak!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you guys.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this special edition of the Jimmy Dore Show.
And it's special because it might be a little low on the jokes.
It's kind of we're taping this on Tuesday, the night after the first riots and the announcement of the non-indictment of the racist murdering cop.
And you go, oh, how do you know he's racist?
Ah, gut.
Gut feeling.
Gut feeling.
And if he wants to sue me in civil court, I'd love to go to court against Darren Darren Wilson on that.
I'll stand by my statement that he's racist and a murderer in cold blood, by the way.
So we're going to look at, we're going to just look at that today.
We're going to talk about it.
I'm joined in the studio across from me, the host of Comedy Everything Else and the blog, The Miserable Liberal.
It's Steph Samorano, our resident Latina.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
I'm doing okay, Jimmy.
How are you?
Okay, I'm doing all right.
I could be doing better.
I have a little bronchitis still, but I'm getting called in to do movie voiceovers, which is nice.
Oh, my gosh.
Yes, in space, no one can hear you scream.
Wow.
There's only one way in and no way out.
So I could get, I probably could make some bank doing that on the phone all the way from New York City from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hey, Frank, how are you, buddy?
Hello there.
Yay, Frank.
You know, Frank, I'm guessing that, you know, last night, well, this is, again, we're recording this Tuesday.
Last night with all the protests happening in Ferguson, I'm guessing Darren Wilson was in a murderous rage over all the jaywalking that went on during the Ferguson protests.
And ironically, you know, I like to point out the irony in the situations, Frank.
Irony, it's ironic and the horrible, terrible, and a tragic irony that Darren Wilson metaphorically dodged a bullet with this grand jury.
He only had to dodge one of them.
Yeah, unlike the 12 bullets he shot at an unarmed 17-year-old black kid.
Okay, so we got a lot coming up on today's show, but first let's get to Bill O'Reilly and his Thanksgiving thoughts.
Jimmy Dore, it is I, Bill O'Reilly.
I want to wish you were yours a joy.
It's Black Friday.
I don't want to hear you pinheads with your Black Friday isn't a real holiday.
That atheist Bolshevik hospital doesn't fly with Naomi Goldberg O'Reilly's son.
Okay.
Black Friday commemorates the day the pilgrims got great bargains on Indian land for the Lord's miracle of smallpox.
And yes, just as today, many of those pilgrims died when the mall opened that first Black Friday.
Of course, back then they died of starvation and disease.
While today we symbolically kill them through trampling or hitting them with the blender at 60% off.
And by symbolically, I mean literally.
Now, you might say, Bill, why do we have to kill people on Black Friday?
And I would just say, who knows?
God is just like that.
He moves in mysterious ways.
He demands a few people die of internal bleeding at the mouth of a Walmart.
The rest of us can get incredible savings on flat screens and panini makers.
As is traditional.
Last night, I took a crap on the sidewalk in front of a Best Buy and got in a screaming match with an Armenian lady, just as our forefathers did.
Thus begins the baby Jesus' long trip out of the whole uterus.
Back in old days, we tracked all the stations of married super painful labor.
Christmas Eve used to be called Crowning Day.
And we'd all wear red turtlenecks like our heads.
We're just coming out of the Marys, but JJ.
These are all true things.
I'm Bill O'Reilly, and that's one to grow on.
Okay.
Wow.
I never heard of Crown Day, did you?
Crowning Day.
No, that's education.
That's fantastic.
The Jimmy Dore show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
Okay, so let's just go to some of the reactions that people had to the non-indictment.
First of all, let's start off with the prosecutor announcing it.
By the way, he didn't announce it until Monday night.
He announced it at Monday night around 9 p.m., right?
So they told the protest, they used to tell the protesters, please don't protest at night, right?
Because there's more app for violence.
And then they go ahead and they release it at night, which is kind of ridiculous.
I guess the verdict was announced at 9 p.m. to reassure the world that Darren Wilson is not the only Ferguson official who really sucks at his job.
I guess that was the point there.
So here is the, so here's the prosecuting attorney, McCullough, who, by the way, is corrupt, and he's very easy to see.
He's had five grand jury investigations.
This prosecuting attorney for the St. Louis County, he's had five grand jury investigations where he was trying to get an indictment.
Theoretically, that's what he was doing, trying to get an indictment against a police officer who shot an unarmed man.
Five times now, he's gone up in a grand jury situation.
He's 0 for 5 getting an indictment.
And let's all remember, let's all remember that what they teach in law school is that you can indict a ham sandwich.
Because what people forget is that there's no defense supposed to be given at a grand jury indictment.
What the prosecutor does, and this is very key.
This is very key because people aren't really apt.
They don't really know how grand juries work.
What's key is that the prosecutor goes in front of a grand jury, lays out the narrative, the story of how he thinks this crime took place, and he only gives the facts that support his story.
Well, that's not what happened here.
This prosecutor in St. Louis is so corrupt that he conducted this grand jury like no other grand jury he's ever conducted or any other prosecutor for that matter.
Very highly unlusual.
What he did was he gave all the evidence to the grand jury, and then he didn't even ask them for an indictment.
He gave all he it was ridiculous what he did.
He let the pro the accused come in and testify for hours and hours, Darren Wilson.
This is all highly unorthodox, the exact opposite way you do a grand jury.
He was conducting the grand jury investigation as if he was a defense counsel for Darren Wilson.
Now, I'm not the first guy to say that.
It's obvious that's how he conducted this.
And by the way, this is all happening in the light of day, which I haven't felt this sick about my own country since we started dropping bombs in Iraq the last time.
You got to keep in mind, you know, in the post-9-11 era, the world that we live in, neither the police nor the military can ever do anything wrong.
Ever.
Never.
So here we go.
Here's the first prosecutor.
The duty of the grand jury is to separate fact from fiction.
Okay, that is not the duty of the grand jury.
Right off the bat, jumping off point, Frank, the prosecutor misstates the duty of the grand jury.
They are not there.
That's what a jury is there for.
They're not a jury.
They're a grand jury.
What they're supposed to do is decide whether or not there's enough evidence to take this to trial.
That's all.
So he was sick the day they taught that in law school.
Yeah.
So I bet even though he's been an attorney all his life and he's the state's attorney for St. Louis County, and I'm sure once it's pointed out to him that he gave erroneous information about the duties of a grand jury, I'm sure he's going to be embarrassed.
I'm sure he'll be really embarrassed.
So here he goes on.
It is important to note here and say again that they are the only people, the only people who have heard and examined every witness and every piece of evidence.
No, they're not, by the way.
You have.
You've seen every piece of evidence.
You've examined every witness.
So all the other prosecutors in your office.
So that's BS.
That's not true.
Again, the first two things out of his mouth.
Untrue, false, lie, easily debunkable.
Okay.
Can I say this really quickly?
I read about grand jury, and they said a grand jury's decision is not the final step in a case.
Prosecutors use grand jury proceedings as test runs for trials and take grand jury's decisions very seriously.
However, if the prosecutor strongly disagrees with a grand jury, they may ignore the decision.
Yes, of course.
We're going to get to that point.
He could easily say, I don't agree with this grand jury.
There's enough evidence.
First of all, he doesn't even have to go to a grand jury.
All he has to do is say, I'm the prosecutor.
I'm going to prosecute him.
But why he went to a grand jury was so he could whitewash this because a grand jury will do whatever a prosecutor says to do, right?
Well, you know, like according to Mother Jones, I was reading this one fact that they said since 2004, St. Louis County police officers have killed people in at least 14 cases.
Few faced grand juries, and not one was charged.
Bam.
So from October 2009 to September 2010, U.S. prosecutors pursued 193,000 cases, and they prosecuted 162,000 some cases.
Of the more than the 30,000 cases that they didn't prosecute, only 11 of those cases were because a grand jury did not return an indictment.
Out of 30,000 cases that they didn't prosecute, only 11 times did the grand jury not return an indictment.
Wow.
Wow.
Right?
So, and by the way, this, and by the way, this guy, Frank, is 0 for 5 now in trying to get indictments on cops who shoot unarmed men.
I think that no matter who you are or what you do for a living, whatever it is, you are doing more to bring justice into the world than this prosecutor.
He's transparently corrupt.
Here's some more stuff he had.
So just think about that.
All right.
So here we, so, but so what that means is a grand jury, and everyone knows it, and every legal expert on television has been saying these things that, yes, this guy could have got an indictment.
He clearly didn't want to get an indictment.
And we're going to play you some more or some more audio of him sounding like Darren Wilson's defense attorney, not sounding like a prosecutor.
So here we go.
The most significant challenge encountered in this investigation has been the 24-hour news cycle.
The most significant challenge.
So first, before he even announced anything, he first took some time out to chastise the news media and social media.
It's unbelievable.
This is the problem, not the fact that there are problems, Jim.
That the Ferguson Police Department is completely racist from top to bottom.
Their police chief is a liar publicly.
We exposed him on this program before.
It's not the fact that a guy just killed a 17-year-old unarmed black kid in cold blood and left his body to rot for four hours in the street.
That's not the problem.
That's not the problem.
The only thing worse than murdering someone is tweeting about that person.
Yes, according to this prosecutor.
Who does, by the way, Frank, it's like when you see the Klan be interviewed, they have no shame.
That's how this guy is.
He has no shame.
He says it with a straight face as if what he's saying isn't completely BS.
And a first-year law student would know better than this guy.
Well, he is better at racism than the Klan is because he gets resolved.
Yes, he does get, he gets very, he gets sick.
yes, expertly, he would be able to.
He's got more to say.
And it's insatiable appetite for something, for anything to talk about.
Here's him closely behind with the non-stop rumors on social media.
So that's the big problem.
Facebook, Twitter, and CNN.
That's the problem, according to this prosecutor.
That's what he opens with.
Recognize, of course, that the lack of accurate detail surrounding the shooting frustrates the media and the general public and helps breed suspicion among those already distrustful of the system.
The law authorizes a law enforcement officer to use deadly force in certain situations.
The law also allows all people to use deadly force to defend themselves.
This guy sounds like a defense attorney.
Does he sound like a prosecutor?
No.
He sounds like the exact opposite of what his job is.
And this is why people were screaming for this guy to recuse himself, and he wouldn't.
And this is why.
Because he wanted to railroad justice and cover for a murdering racist cop.
And obviously, he had the entire Ferguson infrastructure of officials behind him because this really seems like, well, from the start, you know, when they released that video of him at the convenience store and all of the leaks that they've put out.
And now this seems like a coordinated effort to, you know, not make the announcement till 9 o'clock at night when the people are most likely to riot.
So that today, the big story would not be that a white cop got away with murdering a black kid.
The big story would be the riots, or not the riots, but the protests.
Exactly.
They were hoping it would be riots.
Yes.
And it seems like they coordinated this entirely in the hope that there would be riots and that that would be the big story today.
And that would overshadow what's really happened.
And it has.
Yeah.
And it has.
And by the way, George Snuffleupagus is doing an interview tonight with Darren Wilson.
And I'm going to predict that if you would, Frank, if you need to lose a few pounds, watch that interview because I bet you're going to be throwing up the whole time at what a horrible job George Snuffleupagus is going to do.
Well, I hope Darren Wilson doesn't feel threatened by George Snuffleupagus.
I hope he doesn't shoot him when he starts throwing softballs at him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK, so here's the prosecutor again.
So the grand jury considered whether Wilson was the initial aggressor in this case or whether he was or whether there was probable cause to believe that Darren Wilson was authorized as a law enforcement officer to use deadly force in this situation or if he acted in self-defense.
I detail this for two reasons.
First, so that everyone will know that, as promised by me and Attorney General Holder, there was a full investigation and presentation of all evidence and appropriate instruction of law to the jury.
No, there wasn't.
He's lying.
First of all, you're not supposed to do that.
You don't reveal all the evidence.
You don't give defense evidence in a grand jury hearing.
That's not the purpose of a grand jury.
You're not finding guilt or innocence.
You're finding whether this grand jury thinks this should go to a trial and you indict him.
And then the defense gets to give their side of the story that so he's complete.
And by the way, you know, all the reporters must know this.
And because every legal expert I've seen on television has said the exact same thing.
And the legal experts I've talked to every first of all, all you do is look it up.
What's the job of a grand jury investigation?
Look it up.
Chris Cuomo is not going to look it up and Don Lemon's going to be too busy smelling marijuana to look it up.
But I looked it up because I work for public radio and I figured and I found out he's got a little more to say here.
Let's hear what he has to say.
Second, as a caution to those in and out of the media who will pounce on a single sentence or a single witness and decide what should have happened in this case based on that tiny bit of information.
Okay, here again, it's the problem is the media.
The problem is it's not it's not a racist police.
He's not ready to bring the guy who shot an unarmed kid 10 times to trial, but he is ready to bring the media to trial.
Yeah.
Oh, he's already indicted them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here you got.
Um, let's take a look.
Many witnesses to the shooting of Michael Brown made statements inconsistent with other statements they made and also conflicting with the physical evidence.
Some were completely refuted by the physical evidence.
Yes.
And those would be the witnesses that you don't provide to the grand jury.
In fact, those would be the witnesses that you leave out of your investigation.
You go, oh, this is an unreliable witness.
Oh, they changed their story.
Oh, let's not present them to the then they I won't use these witnesses as part of my case.
I'll use the witnesses who are consistent and give a view of what happened.
That's consistent with the physical evidence.
By the way, let's well, I'll get to that in a second because the physical evidence was compromised by the Ferguson Police Department.
Go figure.
We're going to he doesn't tell you that part either.
He doesn't say, by the way, all the physical evidence was compromised intentionally by the Ferguson Police Department.
OK, this is what's called a whitewash.
This is what's happening right here in plain view.
It's been happening since day one.
Do you have to be white to do a whitewash?
No, but he's he happens to be white.
Here we go.
He's got more to say.
And several witnesses adjusted their stories and in subsequent statements.
Some even admitted that they did not witness the event at all, but merely repeated what they heard in the neighborhood or others or assumed had happened.
Yes, there's a lot of bad witnesses out there.
Why are you mentioning this?
You're the prosecutor.
You don't use those witnesses.
Why are you presenting those witnesses to the grand jury?
That's not what you're supposed to do.
Would you bring in witnesses that contradicted themselves in a regular trial?
Would you go, yeah, this guy, we're going to use him.
But he's lying.
He he changed the story a couple of times.
Here's our witness.
You've never bring that person ever.
Yet he yet he presented those people to the grand jury because this prosecutor is corrupt.
How does this guy not get it?
How does the bar not bring this guy up on charges?
Frank, you know what I mean?
Like if the state if the state bar was worth anything, they would disbar this guy for prosecution, prosecutorial misconduct, because that's what this is.
this is not how you handle a grand jury this was a whitewash rabbi wrong frank well he's just um he's good at his job which is being uh devoted to systemic racism and perpetuating it and uh and letting uh someone get away with uh with a horrible crime who happens to be a police officer he's I don't see him suffering any consequences for this.
No, he won't.
And if they do drop him, he'll just be a commentator on Fox News and make more money than ever.
You know, they had Mark Furman on.
They had Bernie Carrick on just yesterday.
Bernard Carrick.
Again, unbelievable.
Bernard Carrick is a criminal.
He just got out of prison.
Who went to jail and himself and basically pissed on the 9-11 victims, Bernie Carrick, who was given an apartment as a gesture of compassion for the 9-11 workers.
And the first thing he said to himself was, hey, this would make a great fuck pad.
Yes.
Yes.
To discuss the morality of what's happening.
Yeah, yeah, because they're very consistent.
You know, okay, so there's so I could talk for hours and hours about this.
There's so many things to talk about, but let's go back to the prosecutor.
At approximately 11:45 a.m. on Saturday, the 9th of August, Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson was dispatched to the Northwinds apartment complex for an emergency involving a two-month-old infant having trouble breathing.
Well, they love to tell you 11:53.
Boy, they love to tell you that.
And it has nothing to do with the case either.
It has absolutely nothing to do with this case, and they keep repeating it.
They're talking about a baby.
It has nothing to do with it.
It's funny to let you know he's a good guy.
He's trying to help a baby.
Darren Wilson's a good guy trying to help a baby.
Was it a white baby?
Hey, can you guys send a racist?
Actually, I don't know if you remember that movie.
He was the star of three racists and a baby.
Yes, three racists and a baby.
Here we go.
Bob McCullough, St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney.
So he's not the state's attorney.
He's the St. Louis County prosecuting attorney.
Here we go.
Still at the Northwinds call.
Wilson heard a radio broadcast for a stealing in progress at a market on West Florison.
Okay, so now we know this to not be true.
That's not true.
Right.
He wasn't aware of that.
It had nothing to do with that.
It had nothing to do with that.
And how do we know that that's not true?
Okay, let me play a little bit more of this guy.
Hang on.
And then we'll, and I'll show you how it's not true, how we know for sure that it's not true.
The broadcast also included a brief description of the suspect, a black male wearing a white t-shirt, who took a box of Swisher cigars.
Officer Wilson then left Northwinds complex in this Ferguson police vehicle, SUV, and drove west on Canfield towards West Florison.
An additional description of the stealing suspect was broadcast about that time, wearing a red hat, yellow socks, khaki shorts, and he was with another male.
As Officer Wilson was attending to his emergency call on Northwinds, Michael Brown and a companion were in the local convenience store on West Florison.
Michael Brown's activity in that story was recorded by the store security cameras.
The video, often played following its release in August by the Ferguson Police Department, shows Michael Brown grabbing a handful of cigarillos and heading toward the exit without paying.
As Officer Wilson continued west on Canfield, he encountered Michael Brown and his companion still walking in the middle of the street.
As Wilson slowed or stopped, as he reached Mr. Brown, he told them to move to the sidewalk.
Words were exchanged, and they continued walking down the middle of the street.
As they passed, Wilson observed that Michael Brown had cigarillos in his hand and was wearing a red hat and yellow socks.
Approximately.
Now, that's also a lie.
That's a blatant lie because they've already said Darren Wilson already said that he didn't know what he had in his hand, but all of a sudden now, according to this prosecutor, Darren Wilson knew what he had in his hand.
He did it.
The very pertinent detail of this part of the story is that in Missouri, I didn't know this, but in Missouri, stealing a box of cigarellos is punishable by execution without trial.
Right, right, right there, right there in the street, by the way.
202 p.m.
Wilson radioed that he had two individuals on Canfield and needed assistance.
Okay, so now how do we know that that's a lie, what that guy just said?
Because here's the police chief.
This robbery does not relate to the initial contact between the officer and Michael Brown.
That's the police chief.
That's the police chief on August 15th saying that the initial encounter had nothing to do with that robbery.
Nothing.
By the way, I don't even know.
We don't even know for sure if there was a robbery, which we've mentioned on this show before, because the videotape that the police released was highly edited.
It wasn't supposed to be released because nobody requested it.
And the guy who owned the convenience store never called 911.
Right.
I still don't see what it has to do with this shooting.
It has nothing to do with this at all.
But the reason they, when they released that video of him, quote unquote, stealing the cigars, they did that so everybody at home would know that Michael, that Darren Wilson killed a black guy who was a thief.
Right.
Even though Darren Wilson had no idea, he murdered him for jaywalking.
Okay, and here's how, here's the proof.
Here's the police chief saying that Darren Wilson had here.
Here it is.
Here it is.
Here he's saying.
I can only go up to a certain point, and then it's then it's unreleased information in the investigation.
And that certain point is the initial contact between the officer and Mr. Brown was not related to the robbery.
I know his initial contact was not related to the robbery.
Run that to run that by.
So now the journalists or the news people there actually follow up.
They actually stay on the police chief and they keep following up.
This is back in August.
So this is how I know the prosecutor yesterday was lying.
Because here's the police chief getting follow-up questions from reporters about what he...
They're telling us that you're just...
No, he was just coming off of a so no, he didn't know.
The prosecutor just said, Darren Wilson noticed he had cigars in his hand.
He noticed that he was the guy who was in the...
The police chief is here because they keep asking him and he keeps restating it.
So this is important.
Which is why the ambulance was there so quickly.
I'm actually telling you, let's stay with this.
This is critical.
You're saying, what are you saying, Chief?
Did he know that he was a suspect in a case or did he not know?
No, he didn't.
He did not know.
It had nothing to do with the stop.
So it had nothing to do with steps.
So then why did he say that?
At this point, at this point, why did he stop Michael Brown?
Because they were walking down the middle of the street blocking traffic.
That was it.
There you go.
So, what the prosecutor just said is a lie.
So, that guy lies left and right.
He sounds like a defense attorney, not a prosecutor.
He completely perverted the grand jury system so he could whitewash this.
So, he could, and by the way, he won't reveal what the vote was because I think if there's 12 members of a grand jury, you only have to have nine votes to either way, right?
Well, nine of the people on the grand jury were white.
Three of them were black.
Wow.
Okay.
So, so there you go.
So, there is the prosecutor completely corrupt, transparently corrupt, Frank.
I mean, I'm a comedian who does a show on a public radio station, and without trying, I have the videotape in my computer of the police chief completely contradicting that prosecutor, that lying, transparently corrupt, racist prosecutor who is covering for a racist murdering cop.
Jimmy, I don't know if you can make those statements.
I just did.
Hey, we're right up against a break.
We got a lot more coming up in the second half.
We got phone calls from Barack Obama with his Thanksgiving wishes, and Rick Perry calls in.
But we're up against a break.
This is the Jimmy Door show, and we'll be right back in one minute.
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All right, now let's get back to the second half of the show.
Hey, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in the studio by Steph Samurano, the author of the Miserable Liberal blog.
Also on the phone, all the way from New York City and from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff, and we're going over all the stupid inconsistencies of the prosecutor in Ferguson.
And we're going to talk about how horrible the news coverage was also.
But right now, we got a phone call from Barack Obama, and this is him wishing me happy Thanksgiving.
But this is from last year.
This year, he was a little tied up.
So, this is our Thanksgiving wish from Barack Obama from last year.
Hey, Jimmy, Barry Obama calling.
Just want to wish you and Steph a happy Thanksgiving.
Believe me, I'm looking forward to sitting down to some unpardoned turkey with Michelle and the girls, watching some football, trying to forget for a few hours how the whole world has cramped itself right on my ass.
What the hell?
Did you see that Ohio poll?
What am I?
34% approval rating.
That's the big story now.
Americans don't trust me anymore.
Right.
Hey, since about 2008, 20% of them think I'm going to steal their wallet.
Who gives a you think I'm about to get impeached for saying 95% of y'all are going to keep your goddamn health insurance?
95%.
Jimmy, you know, and I know I've lied about way worse things than that.
Come on, everybody.
Have some perspective.
I don't like to call the American people stupid ass, but holy I'm not even allowed to get mad, which is why I call you when I'm pissed off so nobody ever finds out.
I got to keep my anger bottled up until at least 2017, like those secret JFK files.
I know you think I'm a sellout, Jimmy, but even you admit I'm getting with on a daily basis.
What's all this hysteria over a goddamn website?
Have you ever had trouble buying Springsteen tickets?
I think he's overrated too, Jimmy.
But my point is about the goddamn website or somebody's ass health plan that got canceled.
And everybody knows that.
I took this job to try to help people.
No kidding, Jimmy.
Well, now I'm starting to hate him.
Did you see that kid heckling me about immigration the other day in San Francisco of all places?
What the hell was that about?
Son of a bitch is heckling me from behind.
And take the little head is telling me I should let his people go like I'm some goddamn Moses over here.
Why don't I perform some miracles for y'all?
Like pardon the Red Sea, turn water into wine, pass single payer.
You think it's easy being the head of the Democratic Party right now?
Why do they call them Democrats?
Why don't they just call them a bunch of chickens can't fight for a goddamn principle?
Hell, these aren't even Democratic principles we're fighting for.
These are Republican principles.
And you can't even fight for the other guy's principles.
Anyway, Jimmy, enjoy your weekend.
I gotta go.
I need a cigarette.
All right.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes or for other ways to subscribe.
Go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
Okay, let's pick up our coverage of the horrible coverage and all the horribleness surrounding Ferguson.
Let's get back to our conversation.
I'm joined by Frank Conner from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
And from the blog, The Miserable Liberal, it's our resident Latina, Steph Samarano.
And they're defaming, you know, the big part of the agenda is defaming Michael Brown for his lack of character.
But Michael Brown is not the one who shot someone nine times.
Yes.
So if you listen to that prosecutor, it sounds like he's prosecuting Michael Brown.
Talking about he stole the cigars.
He did this.
He was walking.
He wouldn't get out of the street.
Are you prosecuting Michael Brown or Darren Wilson?
The obvious answer is he's prosecuting Michael Brown and he's doing defense.
So now, guess what?
And he's the prosecutor, like we said before, he could say, even though this grand jury didn't indict him, we got it.
I still am going to prosecute him because there's a lot of questions that need to be answered.
Because this raises more questions than it answers.
And here's some of the questions it raises.
Number one, Darren Wilson washed away any blood evidence.
What?
Yes, Wilson admitted that after the shooting, he returned to the police headquarters and washed blood off his body.
Physical evidence that could have helped to prove or disprove a critical piece of Wilson's testimony regarding his struggle with Brown inside the police car.
He told his interrogator that he had blood on both of his hands.
I think it was blood, he said.
Wilson said before.
Oh, my God.
Wilson said.
It might have been the ashes from the cigarillos.
You never know.
Darren Wilson also added that, no, he was not cut anywhere.
So he's saying that he had Michael Brown's blood on him.
Number two, the first officer who interviewed Wilson failed to take any notes.
What?
The first supervising officer at the scene, who was also the first person to interview Wilson, didn't take any notes.
In testimony more than a month after the incident, the officer offered his account from memory.
He explained that he hadn't been equipped with a recorder and hadn't tried to take any written notes due to the chaotic nature of the situation.
He also didn't write up any notes after the fact either.
I didn't take notes because at that point in time, I had multiple things going through my head besides what Darren was telling me.
So I was being unprofessional.
I was not following training protocol.
The same officer admitted during his grand jury testimony that Wilson had called him personally after they both had been interviewed by investigators.
Wilson then went over to his account again with that officer.
The officer told the grand jury that there were no discrepancies between Wilson's first account in person and his second account on the phone.
But the call raises questions about whether Wilson may have influenced the witness's testimony.
Of course.
Number three, investigators failed to measure the distance between Brown and Wilson.
They didn't even measure how far away they were.
An unarmed medical legal examiner who responded to the shooting testified before the grand jury that he or she had not taken any distance measurements at the scene because they appeared quote unquote self-explanatory.
Somebody shot somebody.
There was no question as to any distances or anything of the nature at the time I was there.
The examiner also noted that he or she hadn't been able to take pictures at the scene as is standard procedure because are you ready for this, Frank?
Because the camera's batteries were dead.
Oh my God.
I mean, people are taking pictures with their iPhones everywhere as we speak, and they couldn't take one picture.
couldn't take one picture because the batteries and the camera were dead and unfortunately they were in Yeah.
And this was all happening in the middle of the Himalayas where there's no convenience stores around.
Also, they're afraid that if you smap a picture, it steals your soul.
Yeah.
Happy that is.
You know, I was reading this one article in the middle.
Hang on.
Number four, investigators did not test Wilson's gun for fingerprints.
Talking with police investigators and before the grand jury, Darren Wilson claimed that Brown grabbed his gun and that his hand was on the firearm when it misfired at least once.
Wilson also told police that he thought Brown would overpower him and shoot him with his own gun.
Well, then, why didn't you take fingerprints of the gun?
And how come you still ended up shooting him when he wasn't overpowering you?
Exactly.
Number five, Frank, Wilson did not immediately turn his weapon over to investigators after killing Brown.
A detective with the St. Louis County Police Department, who conducted the first official interview of Wilson, testified to the grand jury that Wilson had packaged his own service weapon into an evidence envelope following his arrival at the police station in wake of the shooting.
The detective said the practice was not usual for his department.
No kidding.
Though he was unclear of the protocol, he said he didn't explore that aspect further.
According to the detective's testimony, standard practice would be for an officer involved in a shooting to keep his or her weapon holstered until it can be turned over to a supervisor and a crime scene unit detective.
While that clearly didn't take place, the detective also testified that he believed the firearm was handled in a way that preserved the chain of custody.
It didn't.
Wow.
Number six, an initial interview with investigators was delayed while Wilson traveled to the hospital with his superiors.
Getting his story straight.
Yes, getting his story.
They had to rush him to the hospital to get medical treatment.
And you know what his medical treatment was, Frank?
What?
They gave him a leave.
That really takes the edge off of killing somebody.
That's a good advertisement for a leave.
A leave really works, and it's perfect for when you haven't really been hurt by the person you just shot the death.
Wilson also testified that he didn't think he needed to even go to the hospital.
But that day, Wilson got into a vehicle with the Lieutenant Colonel and another Ferguson official and went to the hospital while the St. Louis County detective traveled in another vehicle.
And I don't know if you've seen the picture.
They showed a picture of him today at the hospital.
Not a mark on him.
Barely a scratch on him.
There are less scratches on most people's prom pictures than there are that.
Number seven, and the final one, Wilson's initial interview, Darren Wilson's initial interview with the detective conflicts with information given in later testimony.
In his first interview with the detective, just hours after Brown's death, Wilson didn't claim to have any knowledge that Brown was suspected of stealing cigarillos, cigarallos, cigarette, cigars from a nearby.
He first said he didn't have any knowledge of it.
The only mention of cigarillos he made to the detective was a recollection of the call about the theft that had come across his radio and that provided a description of the suspect.
Wilson also told the detective that Brown had passed something off to his friend before punching him.
At the time, the detective says Wilson didn't know what the item was.
He only referred to it as, quote, something, end quote.
In subsequent interviews and testimony, however, Wilson claimed that he knew Brown's hands were full of cigarillos.
And that fact eventually led him to believe Brown may have been the suspect in the theft.
All lies, all easily debunkable lies that this prosecutor presented to the grand jury as if it was a fact.
All lies, and I'll just say it again.
And regardless, irrelevant to what happened.
All irrelevant and lie.
All irrelevant and lie.
In honor of the upcoming 2016 presidental election that Rick Perry is going to be running in, We decided to play our first call we ever got from Rick Perry.
So this is our first call we ever got from Governor Rick Perry.
This is off the CD.
White People Getting Nervous, available at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
This is the first time Rick Perry ever called into the Jimmy Door show.
Hey, Jimmy Door, watch Self.
This is Governor Rick Perry of Texas.
How you doing?
I would like to announce on your show that I'm officially submitting my application to be a new call-in character on the Jimmy Door.
What do you say, brother?
I looked at the lineup of yokels you already had calling in.
I thought, hell, I could beat those guys.
Just Josh.
So, yeah, I've been working behind the scenes with Carl Rove here in Tay House, strategizing about my campaign and getting all my ducks in a row so I can shoot them.
Hell, I'm the guy who shot a coyote who accosted me while I was jogging one day.
You think Tim Paul and he has got the cajones to go out of eye with a hungry desert dog?
I don't think so.
He couldn't even stand up to that cardboard cutout Mitt Romney.
On the manliness scale, these two guys ain't exactly pango and cash.
To me, they look like a couple of ovaries scrambling for votes.
But all they end up doing is making a bitch baby omelet.
Let's just pretend those are Texas things.
Ha ha ha ha.
*music*
Yeah, so, okay, so let's talk about some of the news coverage.
So we just, we got done talking about the stupid prosecutor who's corrupt and should be replaced.
There should be some kind of criminal charge we should file against him.
Bob McCulloch.
How did they pronounce his name?
Bob McCullough.
Yeah.
So here's Don Lemon.
Here's some of the great.
Now, remember, last week, Don Lemon was shaming a rape victim, telling it was her fault because if you don't want to give someone oil sex, there's ways you can get around that, meaning you could bite the guy.
So Don Lemon's, again, the rape victim is supposed to physically assault someone, biting their genitalia.
It's just crazy.
That's just the craziest.
A sixth grader knows you don't say that to a rape victim.
This is exactly why rape victims don't want to report their rape.
They already feel sullied and shamed by it.
Don Lemon did it on national television and he wasn't immediately fired.
In fact, they keep him running.
He's on TV every night.
So here's Don Lemon.
By the way, let's remember Don Lemon did about an hour one night on cracker or the N-word, which is worse.
Couldn't figure it, took a whole hour trying to figure.
You're a black guy.
You can't even say one of the words.
I guess which one?
Wonder which one is worse?
Don Lemon.
I remember that.
Don Lemon.
Okay.
So here's Don Lemon reporting from Ferguson.
And just about maybe a minute, two minutes ago, just before you went to Jason Carroll, we heard a gunshot and then people started scattering and now they're moving back and we're watching people on top of the roofs of car the tops of cars and obviously there's a smell of marijuana in the air as well.
Obviously, obviously.
Obviously.
What does that mean?
First of all, obviously there is a smell of a drug that if induced will make you peaceful and calm.
Well, what I took it to me was apparently just off camera there was a fish concert going on.
Obviously, there's black people protesting.
Obviously, there's going to be marijuana smell.
Unbelievable.
Completely irrelevant to anything that's happening.
Completely irrelevant.
That's Don Lemon.
You know, because these days of Ludo.
And by the way, it was so funny to watch Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon suck up to the police all night until the police tear gassed them.
And then all of a sudden.
Finally, finally, the police did something right.
Finally.
Finally.
So here's Jesse Jackson.
He has to break it down for Don Lemon because Don Lemon is one of those guys who can't wait to demonize the protesters.
And let's remember what Martin Luther King said.
Martin Luther King, whose whole life was devoted to nonviolence, Martin Luther King said, riots are the language of the unheard.
That was Martin Luther King said that.
Don Lemon does not quote that quote from Martin Luther King.
Here's what he does say.
And Jesse Jackson, ladies and gentlemen, Don Lemon is so horrible that Jesse Jackson is the hero in this clip.
Here we go.
Reverend, listen, part of your legacy is that you marched with Dr. King peacefully, nonviolent protests.
Most of those protests were during the day, and they were even in the teeth of the most terrifying odds, as James Baldwin says, even in the most obstinate opposition, they still, you and Dr. King remain peaceful.
What has changed in our culture in our society that people resort to things that played out here last night in Ferguson?
So here's a quote-unquote newsman on our quote-unquote cable news.
That's all they do.
It's all they're supposed to do, cable news show.
They're not like MSNBC where they show prisons half the time.
Prison documentaries.
Here they are, right?
So here they are.
Here's Don Lemon.
He's the face of CNN.
Just got done shaming a rape victim on national television.
He's doubling down.
Now he doubles down.
And now he's again, he's blaming, he's blaming the people who live in Ferguson.
And he's demonizing them.
And he has nothing but fingers to point at them.
Again, forgetting that he should be holding power feet to the fire, not the powerless.
I don't have any anger for the powerless people of Ferguson.
I have no anger for them.
I have anger for people who have power and the ability to do something about this.
Come on, Jimmy.
I don't understand why this group of people who, what is it, institutionalized racism, why they can't, you know, mind their P's and Q's and be well-mannered while protesting.
Well, here's what Jesse Jackson says back to Don Lemon.
Ready?
Here we go.
You do know that when Brother King was alive, we had the riot and the Newark riot.
We had the Watts riots.
I'm sorry.
I got to go back and replay that because for some reason it skipped.
Let's see.
We had the riot and the Newark riot and the Detroit riot and Chicago.
And that was a comprehensive result of Donba Carnegie.
It determined that a body of pain and fuel of poverty, which is a weapon of mass destruction, precipitated by police action, triggered those riots.
So do you understand?
So he's giving him a lesson.
The black reporter from CNN is getting a lesson in civil rights, a much needed lesson and dressing down on national TV from Jesse Jackson.
You mean the reason why Don Lemon actually has a position is because people in the past actually fought for these kinds of opportunities.
I also, Jimmy, I also find it odd that Don Lemon is advocating passive resistance.
And just the other day, he asked someone why they didn't bite someone's dick off.
Yes.
That's going to be his follow-up.
So Don Lemon can't demonize the protesters enough.
Says, how come they're not nonviolent?
Like when you like during Dr. Martin Luther King's time.
And here's what he says.
There's what Jesse Jackson says.
And the first thing he says is Watts.
You can't hear him say it.
For some reason, the video I have is skipping, but the Watts riot is the first riot he mentions, okay?
You do know that when Baltic King was alive, we had the riot and the Newark riot and the Detroit riot and Chicago.
No, he did not know that.
Don Lemon did not know that, just like Chris Cuomo does not know how many permanent jobs will be created by the XL pipeline.
Well, why do you need to know any history, Jimmy, when all you have to do is read a teleprompter?
Yes.
Why would you so there's Don Lemon out there pushing the corporate view of what's happening in Ferguson, the conventional wisdom?
It's all the black, these violent animals.
Why don't they just shut up and take it?
Why don't they just shut up and take it?
We got a racist police department that's killing their people in cold blood.
12 shots they shot at Michael Brown.
12 shots.
By the way, he misses him six times.
He's chasing him.
He got out of the car.
And as we at Lawrence O'Donnell, who wrote the seminal book on deadly force, has explained to us: once Michael Brown got out of that cop car and started running, that's over.
It's over.
You can't kill him anymore.
You can't shoot at him.
He's running away.
It's over.
And so Jesse Jackson's got to lay it down.
He's got to live.
You do know Don Lemon.
No, Don Lemon does not know.
Here we go.
He does not know.
I was here last night in Ferguson.
You do know that when Baldur King was alive, we had the riot and the Newark riot and the Detroit riot and Chicago.
And that was a comprehensive percentage on BioCrony.
There was a comprehensive study done by Don Kerner, is what he's saying.
Boy, he's hard to understand sometimes, Jesse Jackson.
It determined that a body of pain and fuel of poverty, which is the weapon of mass destruction, precipitated by police action, triggered those riots.
Precipitated by police action triggered those riots.
So, in other words, what if I'm not mistaken, Jesse Jackson is saying that there is actually a history of racism in this country and of police being racist towards the turns out well you didn't hear what Don Lemon was saying the whole time.
What was he saying?
What?
What?
Huh?
When did that happen?
Dewey?
No, I think what Don Lemon was about to say was, what is this fucking history channel?
No.
Okay.
I'm going to play a phone call, Frank, I think.
And then that's it.
And then we're done.
It's Haley.
Can I just say really quickly, I don't know if you haven't had a chance to listen to the news or AM radio.
As I was driving here, I was listening to it.
And a couple of them have surmised that this all break this is about the breakdown of family values.
That all of this is happening because if people were better parents.
Now, I don't think there are...
No.
Oh.
No.
Not the man who killed someone.
In cold blood.
No.
Not the prosecutor's parents?
No.
The prosecutor who's lying through his teeth.
Nope.
Perverting the grand jury system so he can cover for a murdering racist white cop.
No, Jimmy.
That's not the problem.
No, no, no.
They're talking about the people of color.
Right.
They need to have stronger family values.
By the way, those people in Ferguson, they're largely peaceful protesters.
And by the way, only a few hundred people were even out last night.
So again, we're recording this on Tuesday, Tuesday, the 25th.
So this is after the first night of rioting.
So what they were saying.
I have a feeling that the police put flyers all over the town saying, come out and riot tonight.
Martin Ryan.
Martin Ryan.
Hey, that's our show for this Thanksgiving.
I hope you guys have a happy Thanksgiving.
If you can muster it, have a happy Thanksgiving.
Hopefully this bronchitis will leave me soon.
I think stress has a lot to do with it.
I've been under a lot of stress.
I've been picking up a lot of ailments.
Had to go into the dentist today, even.
And we had some problems with my gums.
But anyway, thanks for listening.
Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamrano, man, Mike.
Did I say Mike McRae already?
And Robert Yasimura.
Okay, all the voices performed by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
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That's it for this week.
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