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Oct. 18, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:56
20141018_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_10-18-2014
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
So this side got a car.
I called Rick Perry to talk about the Ebola, and this is what he had to say.
You want to do that?
Yeah.
Right?
Now, the president, he canceled a trip today, Governor, to make sure his task force was on the job.
There's a second nurse.
It's turning out that there's a lot of bad things like this Texas hospital didn't follow protocol and handling.
Okay, well, first of all, whatever.
Yeah, you got two nurses who are sick.
Okay, that's not an endemic or an epidemic.
Yeah.
There's just two nurses who are sick.
If you've seen any of the candy strap nurses films, then you know that that's normal.
Well, I don't know if there's anything normal that is associated with Ebola, but...
It has nothing to do with us.
I'm tired of true detective people trying to drag us in their weird world.
Ebola is Ebola.
Are you happy with the president's response?
Absolutely not.
What did he do?
Hello?
See ya.
*laughter*
Word up.
I don't know.
You know what?
He fucking held a press conference today, and I listened, and I still don't know what he's doing.
Well, we don't know what's going on.
I mean, there's what is he, did you say?
All fairness, what is he supposed to do?
He's supposed to say, everybody go in your house and just live there for a generation and then don't come out.
I mean, I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to tell people like what George W. But go shopping.
We are not afraid of Ebola.
That's the only way Ebola is going to get the word.
It's the only way it's going to get the message.
You cannot disrupt the American way of life.
So everybody needs to go to the mall and go to the food court and, you know, shit and chiz on each other.
The best way to find Ebola is to go to Ross.
Dress for last.
Look at all those people.
For nothing.
You know, people at Northern Iraq are smiling, Jimmy, because they're fighting Ebola while saving money.
What's it up?
Yeah.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-lovered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's a talking to T-Bag.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's show.
I'm joined on the phone from New York City and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
Hello there.
Yay, glad you're here.
Across the glass for me.
It's the writer, the author of the hilarious book, Morning Remembrance.
Those are funny obituaries of real dead people.
It's Ham Radio's Jim Earl.
Hi, Jim.
Hey, Jimmy, I just got back from a wine tasting tour of West Africa.
What's up?
Wait a minute.
You know, my Liberian talent agent told me I'd get plenty of exposure.
Now, across from him, Hilarious Community, the author of the Miserable Liberal blog, it's Steph Zemarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Miserable.
Aha.
All right, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, did you hear about the Monica Lewinsky?
There's new documents that have been released about the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
And I say, oh, boy, I'm going to read them and then catch the latest episode of Dharma and Greg.
It's an old reference.
It's an old reference, Jim.
Did you know the Catholic Church, they announced they're going to be more tolerant of gays?
Yeah, that the Pope made a big deal.
Said he's going to be more tolerant of gays.
Now, hopefully, other gay institutions will start treating gays better, too.
Get it?
I got another gay instance.
On the day he arrived in America, Columbus was surprised and a bit annoyed by the discovery that all the banks were closed.
You get it, right?
Hey, did you hear Donald Trump called President Obama Psycho, which I find ironic considering that the Bates Motel is better run and more profitable than any of his resorts?
This Ebola, people getting on planes.
And I think a few more cases of passengers with Ebola and air travel might get a reputation for being unpleasant and uncomfortable.
Call your doctor if you find urine in your blood.
Yeah.
Hey, did you hear there's a study that black men 21 times, they are 21 times more likely to be killed by police, but to be fair, many of them are unarmed and not breaking any laws.
Hey, Rick Scott, did you hear the big debate down in Florida?
Oh, boy, boy, oh, boy, huh?
Rick Scott, he proposed a new standard ground law allowing Floridians to shoot anyone who threatens them with a portable fan.
Yeah.
Rick's, because he wouldn't go on stage, Jim Earl.
That's still joking.
I know, I saw.
Because of the fan.
It's a travesty.
He said he wasn't.
Now Rick Scott is saying that he wasn't on stage at the start of that debate because he had escaped Florida with the Von Trapp family.
Von Trapp family, Jim.
That's an old reference.
Sure is.
Rick Lewinsky.
You know, if only Texas could contain Ebola with the same skill they use to contain outbreaks of education and tolerance, we'd all be okay.
Did you hear that a man was escorted?
Speaking of Ebola, there was a man was escorted off a plane making an Ebola joke.
Boy, I tell you, I played some tough rooms.
But I never played the U.S. Airways tough rooms.
I'll tell you that.
Hey, did you hear this?
The Supreme Court of the United States blocked a Texas abortion law enacted by Republicans who believe female uteruses must be controlled by male assholes.
laughter laughter laughter laughter I love that.
Hey, did you know, between shutting down the government, blocking the Surgeon General, and defunding health care, the GOP did all it could to stop Ebola?
We should smoke Ebola after Lee.
I think we should smoke Ebola.
Okay.
What's coming up on today's show?
Yes.
I just want to say, just to make it clear, I'm flying to L.A. tomorrow, and I promise on the flight I won't do any Ebola jokes.
I'm just going to do prop comedy and spawn parody.
Okay, maybe do a little improv?
Yeah, possibly, yeah.
Yeah, do a little crowd work.
Fantastic.
All right, what's coming up on today's show?
Today's show we got phone calls from, let's see, Vince Vaughan calls in.
Luke Russert, by the way, we're going to talk about Luke Russert.
He gave us a great report on the Ebola hearing today that happened in Congress.
So we're going to go and cover that.
Plus, we're going to talk about the myths of the minimum wage.
And we're going to get to that Megan McCain clip that I've been teasing for a long time.
Plus, Chuck Todd sticks his nose in a political race and he doesn't apologize.
Plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Okay, so now we're going to talk about the Ebola hearings they had in Congress today, which they had the CDC.
This head of the CDC was there to answer questions.
And the Republicans kept bringing up that they want to have a travel ban.
This starts on Fox News, the Drudge Report, Glenn Beck, that's where it starts.
And then the politicians start repeating it because it sounds like you're being tough.
And that's what they're all about, phony toughness, you know, fake, let's keep foreigners out.
So the guy from the CDC, the head of the CDC, says, no, you can't do that because that'll just create more problems because people will just try to get around our travel ban and then we won't be able to track them.
Well, this is exactly what he said.
This is why he doesn't want to do this.
Borders can be porous.
May I finish?
Especially in this part of the world.
We won't be able to check them for fever when they leave.
We won't be able to check them for fever when they arrive.
We won't be able, as we do currently, to take a detailed history to see if they were exposed when they arrive.
When they arrive, we wouldn't be able to oppose quarantine as we now can if they have high-risk contact.
We wouldn't be able to obtain detailed locating information, which we do now, including not only name and date of birth, but email addresses, cell phone numbers, address, addresses of friends, so that we could identify and locate them.
We wouldn't be able to provide all of that information as we do now to state and local health departments so that they can monitor them under supervision.
We wouldn't be able to impose controlled release, conditional release on them.
So there are myriad reasons, and I like to use that word because it sounds better than many.
So there are myriad reasons to not impose a travel ban, all those things.
I'm going to get a Marriott Hotel.
I've stayed at a Marriott Hotel.
So this is what he's saying.
If you do this, all these unintended consequences of trying to impose a travel ban, this is what's going to happen.
Okay.
So that's why we don't do it.
In fact, the head of the border control here, Luke Russard, even had a little bit more information about this.
Watch this.
So there you hear Dr. Friedan giving the reasons as to why a travel ban would not be conducive to actually protect the United States, saying that it would prohibit his agency's ability to monitor who exactly is coming into the country, what their symptoms are.
That was backed up by the commissioner of the Customs and Border Patrol, who was testifying next to him, essentially saying that if we were to go down that path, people would find other ways to sneak into the country and it could be troublesome.
Okay, so we heard from the head of the CDC why you don't want to have a travel ban.
You also heard Luke Russert said that the head of the border control also backed up the CDC.
So we got a scientist, we got a doctor, we got the border control.
And then Luke Russert goes on MSNBC, which stands for Microsoft NBC.
And he says, and he says this.
He says this was his big takeaway from the hearing.
But I would really say the main thing that jumped out to me from this hearing was how political it got regarding the question of whether or not there should be a travel ban from West Africa to the United States.
Now, what he's saying is it was amazing how political it got, how political it got.
It didn't get political.
What happened was the Republicans pushed back against the scientists again.
They pushed back against science and the best practices and all that in order to fear monger, in order to make theater out of this, which is what they were doing, right?
And the Democrats agreed with the scientists, agreed with the border control, agreed with the world.
So it's Republicans were pushing back against reality again, which happens over and over, right?
They say if you don't tell kids about sex, they won't get pregnant.
It's that, those people, even though the science says that abstinence orders.
So they're just denying science again, like climate change, evolution.
Here they are again.
The best way to handle a bull is to listen to the scientists.
And this is what they say.
But Luke Russert says that it's really a rift between the Democrats and Republicans.
Let's hear him say it again.
I would really say the main thing that jumped out to me from this hearing was how political it got regarding the question of whether or not there should be a travel ban from West Africa to the United States.
That seems to have been the partisan fault line here between Republicans and Democrats.
It wasn't a fault line between Republicans.
It wasn't a fault line between Republicans and Democrats, Luke.
It was a fault line between Republicans and the rest of the world.
And reality.
And reality.
Yes, it was Republicans pushing back against reality.
But Luke Russert cannot help himself and frame it as, ah, the Democrats said this, the Republicans said that.
No, the Democrats, along with the rest of the world.
I don't know, Jimmy.
You know, the Republicans are against all these needless regulations.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
You know, as I was listening, Jimmy, the main thing that jumped out at me was I thought there needed to be a travel ban to Texas.
Yeah.
Yeah, why don't we put a travel ban to Texas?
See how that's working out.
So that's so...
You know, if we put a travel ban on Texas, they're just going to, the Texans are just going to go into Arizona into America.
Yes, that's right.
And we can't have that.
That would screw things up.
Okay, if we can't do a travel ban, can we just do a headband on Rick Perry?
Let's do a headband.
If we can't do a travel ban.
So he says a little bit more.
Republicans really calling for that travel ban.
Yes.
Republicans really calling for the travel ban.
And then he wraps up the interview.
He came back on like an hour later.
I was watching the cycle, and he wrapped it up with this.
A lot of the hearing, I got to tell you guys, we were expecting to hear more about, you know, was the administration lacking?
Why was the CDC lacking here or there?
It really turned into a battle about the travel ban, which just shows you that even something like Ebola can turn into politics on Tapper Oil.
Okay, it didn't turn into politics.
It was one party again being off the rails, bat crap crazy, like they've been over a lot of things.
Do you want me to list them?
Evolution, climate change, Barack Obama's birth certificate, death panels, and now they're Benghazi.
And now they're doing this.
What else did the IRS phony scandal?
The Benghazi phony.
Now they're saying this, they're pushing.
This isn't politics, Luke.
This is, again, one party being detached from reality.
This isn't politics.
Frank, am I wrong about this?
No, it is politics, but he couches it as it's two sides of an issue.
Yes.
It's one, Democrats believe that we should listen to the experts, but there's another point of view that we should just ignore what the experts say.
And those two things deserve equal weight.
And that's the way I'm going to presents everything.
That is the way he presents everything as if, exactly.
It couldn't be.
Hey, that's a great way to put it, Frank.
Yeah, the Democrats say, hey, let's listen to the experts.
The Republicans said, let's not listen to the experts.
Those are two equally valid opinions.
It's more of a false equivalency that's been fooling the American public for the last 40 years.
Yes.
Yes, you are correct.
40?
Yeah, I would say 40.
So I know, like, what's it?
Luke, though, you know, he did manage to say things for his allotted time, and he did manage to have words come out of his mouth and fill up his airtime.
And I think that's his main concern.
I think you're right, Frank.
You know, I just wanted to say that I think in the past, didn't Texas want to secede from the United States?
I think this is a perfect time.
Joining us on the phone right now is MSNBC correspondent Luke Russer.
Luke, thanks for joining us, buddy.
How are things going, buddy?
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Both let's do it.
Hey, Jimmy, sorry, I haven't stopped by for a few weeks, but I've been busy covering the midterm elections, which are the state and local contests held in the middle of a presidential term.
I am reporting this information to you exclusively.
Luke, I think that's not really an exclusive.
I think we already knew what the midterm elections were, buddy.
Oh, well, okay.
Crap.
That little bitch Ronan Farrow scooped me on this one.
No, everybody knows what the midterms are.
Did you hear about how Ronin's show is tanking in the ratings?
Christ!
What?
That show has less viewership than his mom has adopted kids.
Serves right.
Luke, you sound like you're taking pleasure in a colleague's failure.
No, not at all, Jimmy.
Sounds like it.
You're saying that I have that thing, that German word for taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others.
What's it called?
Haagen-Daz.
That's it.
No, Jimmy.
I do not have Haagen-Daws about the failure of Ronan Farrow's show.
Luke, the word that you're looking for is called Schardenfreud.
I think I'm saying it correctly, Schardenfreud.
Yeah, no, you're just making crap up.
That's the Luke.
Look, I'm not putting Ronan Farrow down.
I'm only saying his show is so bad that ironically, viewers feel molested when they watch it.
Oh, Luke, come on.
You're not here to talk about that, buddy.
You're here to talk about the midterm elections.
Now, come on.
Exactime, bro.
Okay.
And let me tell you, the both sides do it stuff is off the charts this year.
Okay.
So I have been one awesomely insightful pundit dude.
You have been?
You've been insightful?
How so, buddy?
How have you been insightful?
Well, for instance, the Kentucky Senate race between Mitch McConnell and Allison Lunder Grand Grimes.
Uh-huh, yes.
They had a debate that gave me a both sides do-it shoot that lasted well over four hours.
Okay.
You know, Luke, I actually saw your tweet about that, and you tweeted.
Can I quote you?
You've tweeted, so big gaps from both tonight.
Grimes' idiotic non-disclosure of who she voted for for president and Mitch McConnell calling Obamacare Kentucky Exchange fine.
Hell yeah.
Both sides do it.
Yeah, no.
Both sides do it.
Oh, man.
I still haven't come down from the both sides do it.
Nets of it all.
Both sides do it.
Luke, I hate to break this to you, but that tweet was the height of false equivalency, buddy.
Now, on one hand, you had Grimes, a Democrat, refusing to say which presidential candidate she voted for, which granted, okay, that was infuriating that you wouldn't say that.
I'll give that to you, Luke.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Now we'll never find out who she voted for.
I mean, as a reporter, I'm very curious about who the Democratic candidate preferred the Democrat or the Republican.
And, you know, now I have no way of ever knowing.
Anyway, Luke, as I was about to say, on the other hand, Mitch McConnell's, quote, gaffe, as you called it, was him saying that he wanted to dismantle Obamacare, but also wanted to keep Kentucky State Healthcare Exchange going, which is Obamacare.
You said that that is the exact same thing.
You pretended that Mitch McConnell's saying that about Obamacare.
Yeah, I know.
That was a total slip of the tongue on McConnell's part.
Real oopsie.
It wasn't.
Luke, it wasn't a slip of the tongue, buddy.
It was a completely nonsensical, hypocritical, and contradictory statement about a major policy issue.
That's a much bigger deal than what you would call a gaffe and on a whole different level than that stupid thing that Grimes said.
This is not just a gaffe, what McConnell did, buddy.
You get it?
Exactly.
Both sides do it.
No, no, that's not true, Luke.
You know, Jimmy, I hate to say this, but I think you have feeling of real Haagen-Daz towards Mitch McConnell.
Okay, Luke.
Luke Russer, you know what?
It's been great talking to you.
Thanks.
Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to stop by.
I really appreciate it, buddy.
Okay, cool.
Both sides do it, Jimmy.
Both sides do it.
Okay.
All right, Luke.
Take care.
Oh, God.
Oh.
What?
I'm experiencing false enchiselance.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, God, yes.
Oh, God.
That was a Frankie.
Luke.
Luke.
Frank, he said he was experiencing false adjisilance.
Did you hear that?
Wow.
Yeah.
And then he had an orgasm.
That's what it sounded like to me.
Well, he's a young man.
You know, you very have a lot of hormones at that age.
Yes.
I want to hear him do it again.
Oh, God.
Oh.
I'm experiencing false ingisels.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Buzzard.
Okay, that's it.
So let's check in with the Kentucky state senatorial race between Mitch McConnell and Catherine Grimes.
Now, Grimes is running in a Democrat.
She's the Democrat for Senate in Kentucky.
Now, just to give you what kind of an uphill battle this is for a Democrat to run for Senate in Kentucky, Barack Obama lost Kentucky by 23 percentage points.
Wow.
Yeah.
So.
The last president that they enthusiastically voted for was Jefferson Davis.
That gives you an idea.
This is Kentucky we're talking about, right?
So she knows that Mitch McConnell wants to, because people hate Obama in Kentucky, right?
So overwhelmingly.
So she doesn't want to get caught on tape saying I voted for Barack Obama.
So somebody asked her, because then they would take that clip of her and put it in an attack ad showing her saying, yes, I voted for Barack Obama.
Mitch McConnell knows that he lost by 63% overwhelmingly of Kentuckians hate Barack Obama.
So that's a good attack ad that he would run, right?
She won't say it, and she won't give him that advantage.
Now, a lot of people disagree with that, that I disagree with it, but it's a political tactic that she's using.
And she is denying Mitch McConnell that clip to put in an ad.
She is doing it.
Now, a lot of people say it's backfiring on her and it's hurting her more, but that's for the disvoter.
We don't know.
That's the C, right?
And if it's hurting her, it might just be with the national pundits like Chuck Todd.
Right.
But not necessarily with Kentucky votes.
Right.
So what, so she doesn't want to say, I voted for Obama and give him an attack ad on a platter.
In Kentucky, she could have gotten around it by saying, I voted for him, but I didn't know he was black at the time.
That's it, Jim.
You should be an advisor.
You should be an operative.
Man, I'm already making minimum wage.
You're good at this.
You're good at this.
So Chuck Todd then went on Meet the Press and said the fact that Catherine Grimes would not answer the question who she voted for for president.
He said that disqualified her from office.
That disqualified her.
And once again, just to emphasize, she's running against Mitch McConnell.
Mitch.
Mitch McConnell.
And saying that disqualifies her to defeat Mitch McConnell.
And the reason why Frank is yelling Mitch McConnell is because we all know the long history of unbelievable, anti-American, horrible things that Mitch McConnell has done.
Number one being that he didn't want to ever, he didn't want to push legislation through when Barack Obama got elected president.
He didn't want to work together on things they agreed on.
He said, no, nothing gets passed, and we want to get rid of him as president.
So screw the country.
Like, that didn't disqualify him.
Now, that qualifies him.
So that qualifies him.
So then, guess what?
So Chuck Todd said that that disqualified her.
And then Mitch McConnell put that in an attack ad.
And here we go.
Kentucky's expect her to cast a tough vote on anything?
Is she ever going to answer a tough question on anything?
Say nothing.
I'm Mitch McConnell, and I approve this message.
Okay, so they just told, and then Chuck, then the ad ends like this.
You ready?
I think she disqualified herself.
I really do.
I really do.
That's how they end it.
Chuck Todd, the liberal guy.
That's because everybody who's a Republican thinks that NBC's liberal, even though they were a defense contractor all the way through the direct war.
And also, Chuck Todd recently gave an interview to Breitbart.com saying that he was going to make a point of making sure that the liberal bias doesn't get in on to meet the craps.
Breitbart.com, which so in other words, he's validating it as a legitimate news organization by giving it an unbelievable.
So apparently Mitch McConnell's constant screaming at the top of his lungs about how giving health care to people without it was going to ruin our country and bankrupt our nation and ruin our health care system.
And now he had switched 100% on that since people in Kentucky got to actually use Obamacare.
But that doesn't disqualify him.
No, that's just politics to Chuck Todd.
But what Catherine Grimes did was really beyond the pale.
Why?
I have no idea.
And Chuck Todd won't tell us.
He just says it disqualifies her.
Go ahead, John.
Well, to be fair to Chuck Todd, while she was answering that question, she was hiking in the Appalachians and soliciting cock in an airline restroom.
So that kind of, you know, it's two out of three.
Those things do not disqualify.
How about closing down traffic on the busiest bridge in the country for three days for political payback?
Does that disqualify you, Chuck Todd?
No, that didn't disqualify him.
Mitch McConnell voted to cut food stamps for veterans.
That's not a disqualifier.
Going against every economic expert's advice and shutting down government and threatening to take our economy over the fiscal cliff and ruin our country, not a disqualifier.
I'm going to give you a couple of things that Mitch McConnell has voted for, and these are not disqualifiers.
He voted against the Violence Against Women's Act, not a disqualifier.
Voted no on repealing tax subsidies for companies which move jobs outside of the United States.
Not a disqualifier.
He voted no on shifting $11 billion from corporate tax loopholes to education.
Not a disqualifier.
He voted no on funding smaller class sizes.
Not a disqualifier.
He voted yes on $75 million for abstinence education.
Not a disqualifier.
He voted yes on barring the EPA from regulating greenhouse gases.
That's not a disqualifier.
Denying science, not a disqualifier.
I could go on and on.
He voted for Bush.
He voted for Romney.
He voted no on background checks at all gun shows.
Mitch McConnell voted no on background checks at all gun shows.
Not a disqualifier.
But what is a disqualifier?
Even though 90% of America wants gun checks at background checks at gun shows, Chuck Todd, not a disqualifier.
He's not a disqualifier.
Never got a dinner.
Never got a dinner.
And also, at that very same debate, as you just discussed on the phone with Luke Ruster, at that very same debate, he made one of the most ridiculous comments ever in a debate about, and he's a guy who railed against Obamacare.
He's going to ruin our country.
He's still saying that, and yet he supports Obamacare in Kentucky.
And that's not as big of a deal to Chuck Todd as saying that she wouldn't say who she votes for.
No, that's not as big of a deal.
That's not as big of a deal.
And by the way, Chuck Todd was recruited to NBC News by Chris Matthews, Chris Matthews, who will freely admit he voted for George W. Bush.
Just so you know, That's the liberal network.
That's the liberals.
That's the corporate, a corporate liberal votes for George Bush and gives interviews to Breitbart.com saying that he's going to try and work against the liberal media.
That's what the corporate liberals.
Chud Todd is also a frequent guest on Morning Joe, which is my least favorite Fox News show.
Ha!
Hey, there's more to that Mitch McConnell, Todd, Chuck Todd.
Hey, we've got a lot more to say about Mitch McConnell and Chuck Todd's horrible journalism coming up in the second half of the Jimmy Door show.
But right now, I want to say thanks to everybody who thinks about the Jimmy Dore show when they shop at Amazon.com.
It's a great way to help support the show.
The next time you shop at Amazon, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com first and you click on our Amazon box.
When you buy something on Amazon, they send us money.
It's a great way to help support the show that doesn't cost you any money.
Okay.
Now let's get back to the second half of the show.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door show.
When we left off, we were talking about Chuck Todd saying Catherine Grimes has qualified herself for not answering the question, who did she vote for for president?
And Todd, Chuck Todd, huh?
Okay, let's get back to our discussion about it.
So then he was on Chris Hayes' show last night, Chuck Todd.
They played that ad for him, and this was his reaction, right?
This was his reaction.
Your thoughts on being in a Mitch McConnell ad?
Nobody lies.
It's sick to your stomach to be a part of a campaign.
I don't like being a part of it at all.
Oh, so he's sick to his stomach about it.
Now he knows how the rest of us feel when we watch his news show.
Why would he be sick to his stomach for being recognized for the campaign talking points that he wrote for the campaign?
Well, you know, his argument is that Catherine Grimes won't be able to make tough votes.
She won't be able to handle a tough vote because she doesn't reveal who she voted for president.
That seems ridiculous.
And I got to say this.
I think we should Chuck Todd.
Yes, I say we Chuck Todd.
I do too.
I say to Chuck, to Chuck Todd or Joe Scarborough saying, I believe in the sanctity of the ballot box is a crime worse than being Mitch McConnell.
So wait a minute.
So wait a minute.
He's sick to his stomach about this.
He's sick to his stomach.
So I guess Chuck Todd's sick to his stomach about being his phrases, him repeating talking points.
He's worried that him being used in there, it makes him sick to his stomach.
So I bet he's getting ready to, I don't know, apologize for making such a stupid statement, right?
So here he goes to apologize.
I think that it is one of those situations where she invited this on herself.
Oh, my God.
There you go.
She invited it on herself.
She was wearing the wrong clothing.
Yeah.
Ah, what was she wearing when she said something that was inviting, apparently?
She's wearing the Constitution.
You know, I really like the way Chris Hayes just doggedly follows up.
Didn't say anything.
No, not a damn.
Chris Hayes didn't say a damn thing.
The whole thing was just an opportunity to bring a Todd on to explain further and to justify his crap.
That's all Chris Hayes did.
Yes.
I don't know if you watch the segment with Chris Hayes showing him that.
Chris kind of apologetically leads up to it, doesn't even look at Chuck Todd, plays it, and then Chuck Todd looks miserable through the whole thing.
There's no reason to bring him on.
It was just to.
I thought it was to humiliate him.
To humiliate the question.
So here, here's, so here, so here's what, okay.
So here is what Chuck, so they ask Chuck.
So Chris Hayes asks him then, well, you know, he didn't even ask him.
Chuck Todd asks himself the question, why was I being harder on Grimes?
Then people say, why are you being so hard on Grimes and not on Mitch McConnell, right?
And he says, he says this.
I mean, look, and Mitch McConnell's ducked every interview.
It's ridiculous how much he's ducked.
And this is.
But that doesn't disqualify him.
He's ducked every interview.
She shows up for the interview.
By the way, she got asked that question on a show that Mitch McConnell wouldn't go on.
She went out and answered the quest.
She went on and took the question, and her answer was, I'm not going to answer that question because I believe in the sanctity of the ballot bot.
Meaning, I'm not going to give on a silver platter an attack ad to Mitch McConnell, then that's what this is.
So she wouldn't give it to him, but Chuck Todd gave it to him, right?
And then Chuck Dodd comes back on and says it was her fault that she asked for it.
And now he says, yes, sure, Mitch McConnell's horrible.
Sure, he is.
But why weren't you as hard on him?
People said, you're being, why are you so tough on her?
This is a great question.
Chuck Todd asks himself.
Chris Hayes did not ask that question.
Chuck Todd asked himself, people ask me, why are you being so tough on her?
Now he's going to pretend to answer this question.
This has been the most cynical Senate campaign.
Among the cynical Senate races, this has been the most cynical.
And it's very frustrating.
We're all trying to have a better campaign.
We want to see a better level of discourse.
We want people to answer questions as a general rule.
Now we're getting to a point where none of them are afraid to answer just the simplest thing, which is obvious.
Of course, she's surprised that.
Yes, it's obvious.
So why did you say it disqualified her?
And you still didn't answer the question.
He still didn't answer the question.
Am I wrong about that, Jim?
Did you hear him answer the question?
No.
No, Frank, did you hear him answer the question?
No, he dodged his own.
He asked himself the question and then dodged it.
And he said, I will.
He dodged it.
And since it was Chuck Todd, he didn't ask himself a follow-up.
To me, that was kind of unbelievable.
That was, sure, Grimes saying that she's a Democrat, and she said that she was a Clinton delegate, letting anyone with intelligence connect the dots, but stating that she does not want to make her campaign about the president.
Clearly, she was trying to deceive the voters.
Is that what you're saying, Chuck Todd?
Is that what he's saying?
Is that the worst thing you can say about the candidate Grimes is that she didn't give an easy soundbite to her opponent's campaign?
That's so much figure.
To him, it's much more egregious That she didn't give a good soundbite than the thousands of people who have suffered because Mitch McConnell has tried to deny them.
Healthcare.
Yes.
Yes.
In fact, her denying Mitch McConnell an easy soundbite and an attack ad should qualify her for the Senate.
You know, Chuck Todd talks about how cynical these politicians are.
And meanwhile, these pundits like himself, who cover this stuff, are so cynical because they don't even really take into account how what people are saying or what politicians are doing, how it affects people, how it affects the people they're supposed to be serving.
Exactly.
That never enters into their minds at all.
It's all about the horse race.
Yes.
And who said the thing that was a gap that's going to hurt them that we're going to talk about for the next week?
It has nothing about how a person like Mitch McConnell, how what he does and doesn't deal with it, how people, regular Americans, suffer as a result of it.
And that never comes into their equation.
So he has no business calling anybody else cynical.
Well, it's funny to me, Frank, that Chuck Todd gets more exercised about Grimes' statement than he ever was about his country going back to war in Iraq and Syria.
Right, right.
Right, Todd making this his talking point for the entire news cycle.
If you can't report the news, make the news.
And that's what Chuck Todd just did.
I'm Mitch McConnell, and I approve MSMSNBC's coverage.
Really?
That's what it is.
We have such a liberal network like MSNBC.
And I'm so relieved because Chuck Todd is so much better than David Gregory.
Yeah!
Yeah!
And now a reading from the book, Morning Remembrance: Fake Funny Obituaries of Real Dead People by Jim Earle.
Richard LaMotta, creator of the Chipwitch ice cream sandwich.
Richard LaMotta, inventor of the Chipwitch, a cold slab of vanilla sandwiched between two chunky chocolate chip cookies, is now freezing his chips off on a cold slab of concrete.
Friends say there's no truth to the rumor.
His heart gave out at a two-potato bar in the West Village after attempting to squeeze himself between two chunky men to create a man witch.
You've been to the two potato rights, Jimmy?
Yes.
Right there on the street from my house.
That's right.
LaMotta debuted his invention on the streets of New York in 1982.
And within two weeks, he was selling over 40,000 chip witches a day, mostly to the ghost of Elders.
The guy ate a lot.
Tremendous appetite.
At one point, chipwitches became so popular that Mayor Ed Koch agreed to pose for a famous photo of himself biting into one.
Eight years later, a New York cop raped Abner Louima with a broomstick.
There were so many Chipwitch imitations on the market, but none ever seemed to catch the public's fancy.
They included names like Chili Chips, Chips and Chips, and the hugely unsuccessful two slabs of cruds surrounding a lump of shit with Lyman.
Richard was a cousin of boxing champ Jake LaMotta, whose love for the creamy concoction became so intense, he once even accused Richard of fucking his chipwitch.
LAUGHTER LaMotta requested his melted inside parts be siphoned off by British Petroleum in order to avert any more damage to the Gulf.
Yeah.
you you you I want to say a few things about the minimum wage, get rid of a couple of myths about the minimum wage.
So according to the U.S. Department of Labor, you know, when people say increasing the minimum wage is bad for business, not true, according to the U.S. Department of Labor.
They say academic research has shown that higher wages sharply reduce employer turnover, which can reduce employment and training costs.
Raising the federal minimum wage is an important part of strengthening the economy.
A raise for minimum wage earners will put more money in more families' pockets, which will then be spent on goods and services, stimulating economic growth locally and nationally.
So we have a consumer economy.
So the more consumers spend, the better our economy.
We already know from the banned TED Talk that when a few people have a lot of money, it just sits somewhere because they don't spend it.
They already have everything they want.
But if you put money in the hands of workers, you spread the money around, they spend that money, again, helping the economy, and it helps everybody, right?
So that's what helps everybody.
And raising the minimum wage actually helps the economy is according to academic research cited by the U.S. Department of Labor.
Here's another myth.
Go ahead, Frank.
In the post-war boom years in America, it seems that the more people, the more money people made, the better the economy did.
It seems like basic history.
It's like basic history.
Another myth, Frank, is raising the minimum wage will only benefit teenagers.
Well, the typical minimum wage worker is not a high school student earning weekend pocket money.
In fact, 88% of those who would benefit from the federal minimum wage increase are age 20 years or older, and 56% of them are women.
So there's another myth.
Increasing the minimum wage will cause people to lose their jobs.
Well, a review of 64 studies on minimum wage increases found no discernible effect on employment.
Additionally, more than 600 economists, seven of them Nobel Prize winners, have signed on to a letter in support of raising the minimum wage to $10.10.
Here's one more myth.
Small business owners can't afford to pay their workers more and therefore don't support the increase in the minimum wage.
Not true.
A June 2014 survey found that more than three out of five small business owners support increasing the minimum wage to $10.10.
Small business owners believe that a higher minimum wage would benefit businesses in important ways.
58% say that raising the minimum wage would increase consumer purchasing power, and 56% say raising the minimum wage would help the economy.
In addition, 53% of small business owners agree that with a higher minimum wage, businesses would benefit from lower employee turnover, increased productivity, and customer satisfaction.
So there you go.
Now let's watch Scott Walker.
Scott Walker was in a debate.
He's running for governor.
And you know, Scott Walker's a good guy, by the way, because he's wearing an American flag while voting tax breaks for companies that outsource Wisconsin jobs to China.
So that's how you know he's a good guy.
I guess wearing a Chinese flag wouldn't look so good.
So he wears the American flag just to throw us off.
Okay.
So they ask Scott Walker a question he will not answer.
He's going to pull a Chuck Todd here and not answer a direct question about the minimum wage.
Do you believe a Wisconsin worker can live on her minimum wage?
Do you believe the state has an obligation to make sure workers are paid some sort of minimum wage?
And if so, what that should be.
I need an answer.
Yeah, and my point is, I believe the state should be focused on helping people create jobs that are much greater than the minimum wage.
I was paid the minimum wage when I worked at McDonald's as a kid.
I used that to save up for money in college.
I didn't expect that that was going to be my lifetime's work.
Yes, see?
Wow.
Yeah, see?
So see, he goes, I worked at McDonald's to go to college.
I guess back when, you know, going to college costs about the same much as a tank of gas.
Apparently, you saved up going to college by working at McDonald's.
Even at that age, if you look like a poor person, though, when Walker worked at McDonald's, he would make sure your happy meal didn't have an extra plastic toy in it.
Yes, so this is amazing.
How do you ignore?
So here he goes.
We've got to have opportunities for young people, whether it's part-time or seasonal work.
So, but he just basically says, yeah, I believe the state should be helping people create jobs that are much greater than the minimum wage.
And since we aren't doing that, I guess people making the minimum wage can all go pound sand because the government doesn't care about you.
I don't know what is he saying.
I don't know.
I'll just say that having worked at Arby, I made the minimum wage, but I really did it more out of love.
I was passionate about the job.
And that's an important factor.
Well, it's funny.
He goes, you know, I worked for the minimum wage once, so I guess that's how he knows that they don't deserve a raise.
I don't know.
What does he mean by that?
How do you ignore it?
So, and then he talks about it.
When he talks about his days at McDonald's, he implies that the people who are now working full-time at American restaurants, aka McDonald's, are assholes who are like immature children who think working at a restaurant should pay a living wage.
That's what he's implied.
Like, they're a jerk, Frank.
He's making it sound like they're jerks for thinking that if they work full-time, they should get a living wage.
But to be fair, doesn't he also think that nobody in Wisconsin should make a living wage or have any benefits or anything, whether they're teachers or policemen or firemen?
Well, if you look at his record of union busting, if you do ever get that job with a higher wage, Walker will eventually destroy that too.
Yeah.
I think especially people who work in restaurants should get minimum wage because you don't never know what you're going to get in your food.
Right, yeah, yeah, exactly.
You want those people unhappy, the people who are fees you food.
Bringing your hot plate, you know.
What he is also doing there is he's pretending that people working at minimum wage jobs are somehow too lazy to go out and get the higher paying jobs.
Like as if they're out there.
No, you do.
Nobody expects that to support you.
You got to go out and get a better job.
You know, the ones that don't exist anymore in Wisconsin because I signed a bill that gave tax breaks to companies for sending your Wisconsin jobs to China.
Yeah, so you know, but you should get better jobs.
I don't want people to work at those poor.
That's all that's left, dummy.
That's all that we've got left.
So here he goes.
He then doubles down on it.
There's a website the state has called jobcenterwisconsin.com.
Right now, this week, there's over 70,000 job openings on that.
We don't have a jobs problem in the state.
We have a work problem.
So how do you ignore an employment problem in your state?
Say there isn't one.
Just say that he goes, he's got a little bit more to say about this.
Let me finish.
To connect the dots between people looking for a job or looking for a better job and the skills they need to fill those jobs.
Yeah, see, according to Scott Walker, there are jobs in Wisconsin, but they're hidden on a website.
You just didn't check.
They're all out there.
Why aren't you guys checking the website?
There's 70,000 jobs on there.
Why don't you guys go check?
It's on a website.
All of those jobs are a secret shopper job.
You know, I worked at Ronald McDonald flip that house.
And those kids never had a chance.
When he says Wisconsin has a work problem, the problem being that the Wisconsin governor doesn't work for the people.
Well, he also, and in his policies about McDonald's, in another part of that interview, he said that not only does he believe this way, but Mayor McChees agrees with it.
But I just love how he says, yeah, there are plenty of high-paying jobs in Wisconsin.
It's just that the people who want better-paying jobs are dumb and unskilled.
That's what he said.
That was a little, I mean, I was a little taken aback.
He said there's like 70,000 jobs, but Wisconsinites are too lazy to get them.
That's pretty much what he's saying.
Don't tell me there isn't a job.
There's a jobs problem.
There's 70,000 jobs.
So if you're unemployed and you can't find a job, you're a liar.
Or you're lazy or you're too dumb to get a job.
But the problem is, a lot of these people aren't just working one job.
They're working two jobs so they can survive.
I think it's because they're greedy.
Yeah, me too.
Three jobs.
It's almost like they had said it's why they're working three.
You know, it's almost like Scott Walker is an asshole trying to put a pretty face on screwing the most vulnerable workers in our economy or something.
Guess who I talk to on the phone, though, Robert.
Can I guess?
I talked to Vince Vaughn.
Oh, good.
Wait, who have I talked to?
Jimmy Door.
Why the fuck do you keep calling me?
Why can't you just fuck me live in peace?
You got a political comedy show you want.
That's great.
I'll see why you think like, oh, Vince Vaughn needs to fucking wait on this.
I don't get it.
I guess you should screen that my calls better than this.
People always say that I should have conservatives on my show.
I'm not even that conservative.
I mean, I get older.
You're my favorite.
You're my favorite by far.
You're my favorite conservative.
You make me laugh.
You know what?
It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
I'm glad you said it.
I'm going to go to bed thinking a happy thought.
Okay.
But I just want, so did you see the state of the union?
Vince?
Absolutely not.
I will watch that fucking usurper on television.
I'm not going to do it.
I can't watch it.
I watch the TV.
I've shot out like eight TVs.
What do you think about the minimum wage?
He wants to raise the minimum wage for people.
That's a good thing, right?
Hey, you know what?
How about people work harder?
I worked hard.
When I got to be in movies, when I was a teenager, that's what I did for money.
And why not these other kids who were like complaining about flipping burgers?
Why don't you do that too?
That's what I did.
They're not going to put burgers.
I'm going to be in fucking movies.
I can't say that word.
Yeah, you can edit that out if you want, but that's what that guy would say.
So, yeah, what did he talk about?
The minimum wage?
I want to hear about that minimum wage.
So, what do you think?
I mean, I'm trying to make maximum wage.
Yeah, I know.
After there should be such a thing, by the way.
A maximum wage.
There should not be a maximum wage.
Vince, now, what's with the crazy right-wingers and with all the abortion stuff now?
What's going on with you guys?
You know, Vince, now I know you.
You like the lady.
I don't know.
You know what?
That's part of the Republican Party that I don't necessarily gotten to.
I'm like you.
I like the ability to get a woman pregnant and say, like, that little thing's not going to live much longer.
Jesus Christ.
Please back away from the dream.
You know you want that to be the case.
How many little Jimmy Door beans were created on the road in the 90s that had to be none to my knowledge?
Hey, click cloth with you, pothead.
Commit to the fucking holocaust of road babies that you're responsible for.
Not to my knowledge.
Well, yeah, if I didn't tell you about it, they're probably too sad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if you've ever taken a woman to get abortion.
It's a very emotional period of time for her.
She gets all upset.
She's like, I don't know what I'm doing.
You got to play that.
You play that Ben Fold song for her, Brick.
You'd be amazed how many beautiful babies there are on these abortion clinics, Jimmy.
They're always looking for a big, strong, handsome man like you and me to, you know, rely on.
Like, yeah, I'm here because of her, but I want to get with you.
And at work.
I don't care who you are.
If you show that kind of confidence with women in an abortion clinic, everybody gets on board.
You're like Shining Time Station.
Everybody get on the train.
Jesus Christ.
That's not right.
That's not right.
This is a little rough.
Hey, you know what?
You're the one who wanted to talk about abortion.
I didn't bring it up.
I know.
Who are you going to offend?
What are they?
Anti-abortion people listening to your fucking show?
No, I'm saying.
Why don't you own it?
It's not like I'm talking about transsexuals or something that said everyone take it off the air.
Jesus Christ.
No.
No, I'm saying maybe there are some women who maybe had an abortion who listened to the show, and maybe they don't want to think about it.
Well, yeah, you know what?
Yeah, you're right.
This is a very bad idea.
Okay, let's change the subject.
Yeah, I'm just spitballing.
I'm riffing.
You call me out.
You're the one who called Vince Vaughan.
I even called you.
You know, our writing is premium content.
It's going to be the diehard people.
Yes.
You're not going to get some fucking community college professor in Portland who got upset about us that one time.
He's not listening.
Focus, you fucking pothead.
I think...
*laughter*
Well, listen, Vince, I appreciate you taking time to talk.
How's life in La Cunata?
I love it.
I live with, I'm around normal people.
We have normally, we mow the lawn.
I fuck their wives.
Whatever.
Great stuff.
All right, buddy.
Well, listen, I'm right down the street in Pasadena.
So you shoot down the channel.
Are you up at Pasadena?
I love Pasadena.
I go there all the time to have a Pasadena.
Yeah, come on.
We're going to the Pie.
Go to Barney's Beanery.
Yeah, there's a Barney's Beanery over, sure.
Yeah, I love that place.
Sure, let's go.
There's a Cheesecake Factory over there.
I like to go.
I love the Cheesecake Factory.
I love the HD chip motif that they kind of try to work in there.
What is it?
For no reason.
Because they had H and they had Cheesesteak in Ancient Egypt.
They do have a nice barbecued salmon that I like.
I know that's a big thing.
You're a big fan of.
I like the pot stickers.
I think it's Chick-fil-A or whatever, Cheesecake Factory.
Cheesecake Factory.
But they also have a, you know, they have a nice chicken.
You know what?
They've got a nice, a lot of things, Jimmy Dore.
You know what else is nice?
Is you get their crab balls, the small ones, not the big patties.
Those are exquisite.
Yeah.
Those are exquisite.
They're works of art.
I can't even handle myself emotionally when I walk in there and see those.
I start breaking down like a little girl.
Your little baby girl.
They started.
Do the crab balls, and I start losing.
The foundation starts to crumble.
Yeah, they come with like a little ruck of rum a lot.
I know what kind of rebel out sauce they come with, Jimmy Door.
Tangy, get sweet, get sour.
Fuck you.
This is only funny because you're high, by the way.
Yeah.
Listen to him tomorrow when you're not high.
Tell me what you think, Slayer.
I did a nice job with that Herman Kane call.
You did a fantastic job.
You know what?
You should get a medal for it.
Also, the Haley Barber, that part when he was talking about roughing up Chris Christie, fucking hilarious.
That was great.
Who wrote that?
That was all Mike McCrae.
It was?
Uh-huh.
It wasn't one of your little fucking bronies that you have on the show.
The guy who did the voice itself came up with that shit?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that's it.
That's Vince Vaughn, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, I'd like to hear more of the Jimmy Door show.
Well, there's a great way to hear more of the Jimmy Door show.
Become a premium member, and you get access to all the bonus content.
A few weeks ago, we dropped a 45-minute episode in the premium content.
That's the kind of stuff that happens around here at the Jimmy Door Comedy Show.
All right.
So how do you become a premium member?
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on premium.
You make your $5 donation.
That's right.
Just $5 a month gets you access to all the extra premium content.
And if you pay all at once, we'll save you $5 for the entire year.
It's just $55 that way.
Okay.
If you've made your donation and you haven't gotten a passcode, please email me at my old-timey email, jimmydoor at earthlink.net, and we'll get something right back to you.
Okay.
So thanks, everybody who supports The show for $5 a month, which is like a cup of coffee.
Okay, so there you go.
A coffee, you know, that costs $5.
I'll be taping my next hour special, November 7th at 9:30 at the El Portal Theater in North Hollywood.
I'll have links for tickets and everything, but November 7th, that's going to be a Friday night.
That's 9:30 p.m.
I will let you know when links for tickets are available.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Conniff, Mark Van Landuitt, Robert Yasamura, Steph Zamarana.
That's right, Zamarana.
Did I say that?
And Mike McRae.
Of course, all the voices today performed by the one, the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
And make sure you check out Frank Conniff's new podcast, Dracula Has Risen in the Pulls.
Okay, that's it for this week.
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