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July 19, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-livered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, welcome to a special episode of the Jimmy Dore Show.
When I say special, I mean shorter than normal.
And the introductions will be recorded through my computer in a hotel room in Las Vegas because I'm telling jokes in Las Vegas this week.
So we're going to have a shortened show.
And it's 108 degrees in Las Vegas.
So by all means, bring your kids, put them in a stroller, and push them down the strip at noon in 108-degree heat.
What are you doing?
Anyway, okay, so let's get to it.
What we have today is Chris Christie opposing sensible gun legislation, exposes him for the bullshitter.
He is, instead of the straight talker that so many people want to pretend that he is.
So we talk about that, and then the world's most easily offended listener, he's back.
So we're going to have a little phone call from him.
Now, this was previously in the premium content, the world's most easily offended listener.
So I'm putting that in there today, a little treat for you.
So let's get right to it.
Chris Christie and then the world's most easily offended listener for our special shortened show in this July week.
So gun violence is going crazy.
In Chicago, they had 62 shootings, 14 deaths over the holiday weekend.
And it's just crazy, right?
So you understand why mayors of cities want to ban guns, right?
They get it.
You don't need guns in a city.
By the way, gun ownership in America has gone down significantly over the last 30 years, right?
The percentage of people buying guns, owning guns, has gone down by something like 30%.
I should have the facts in front of me.
But it's the people who own guns own a lot.
Yeah, but the people who do own guns are owning more of them.
But you can't shoot more than two at once, which is good.
A lot of times, though, you need another gun to protect the first gun.
The first gun.
You need another one to protect.
You see, it's really, it's a never-ending cycle.
The only thing that could stop a good, bad guy with a good gun is a good gun guy with a gun.
By the way, we all...
Anyway.
It was there.
You guys do that one for yourselves.
Now that we all have to carry going to Red Robin, I mean, like, I feel the pressure of getting a new gun.
Yeah.
Because I'm like, I don't want to be caught in Red Robin with like an old gun.
Don't you guys love this trend, though, of the fast food thing where you go in with the gun?
Because now I went to Chipotle yesterday.
I'm not kidding.
And when they said, you know, the guacamole is extra.
No, it's not.
Not today.
Not today.
Yeah, that'd be tough getting people to pay answer for your sour cream.
Yeah.
If he's sitting there with an AK.
Locked in a little bit.
See what I'm saying?
So anyway, so Ram Emmanuel, who was the fake Democrat who was the mayor of Chicago.
Oh, and by the way, we should set the stage that Chicago did have a 100% firearms ban.
They did.
The Supreme Court over there.
Supreme Court overturned it.
And so screw them.
So screw you in the city.
Go ahead.
This is the Supreme Court.
That's that Supreme Court who loves people and loves states' rights.
Sure.
So maybe, maybe the Supreme Court now will want people to have the guns in case women are using contraception.
You're right.
Yeah.
You shoot the sperm.
That's what I would do.
All right.
So here.
So Rahm Emanuel called a press conference, and so he starts to talk about And listen to what happens.
Gun violence.
Let me turn it up a little.
Gun violence that was this part of this weekend is totally unacceptable to anybody in the city of Chicago.
So he gives a speech where he goes, gun violence, or no matter where you live, is totally unacceptable.
And people start applauding.
People are applauding.
You just failed miserably.
You just had the worst gun violence weekend in the history of America.
And that's right.
He doesn't like the gun violence.
What is that?
What was that?
So Chris.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think it's for lack of any other way of saying, yes, we agree with you.
It's sort of like when someone says, oh, my mom died on Facebook and your only choice is to like.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, it is weird, right?
You have to like someone's post-ago.
From what I understand, they prefer deep fish gun violence.
They like their gun violence with a whack of cheese on it.
So here Chris Christie was, so there was...
Because whenever someone goes on one of these shooting sprees, the way they get them is they go to reload the clip and then they got them, right?
So now they want to get rid of these.
The only reason you would want to have a lot of bullets in your clip is either if you're in the army or if you're a psycho who wants to go on a shooting spree.
There's no other reason to have a lot of bullets.
Yeah.
And by the way, that's what's driving this is assault weapons.
Because the reason why gun sales are flat is because guns are a durable good.
They last for virtually ever.
And so most of the people who own guns have their guns.
Right.
And most people who want guns own one.
And anybody who wants a new gun can buy them used for very, for very little money, and very good guns.
So what happened was that the firearms manufacturers realized that assault weapons were the new burgeoning market.
So they have done everything to overturn the assault weapons ban, to overturn any of the conditions around it, and also to make, to gin up this sovereign citizens nonsense of making people believe that that's why they need a gun is to defend themselves against the National Guard that's going to come and try to take their guns from them.
And a 10-round magazine is a big issue.
It's a big issue.
It is at the heart of an assault weapon.
That they want Chris Christie to get on board for.
But Chris Christie is not on board for it.
He's not on board for any kind of legislation against kind of any gun legislation.
He's throwing his weight around.
He is certainly for his that's fat shaming.
That's not allowed on Pacifica.
And Chris Christie, It just shows, so he's against this.
He's against the limiting the clips to 10 rounds.
And you're going to hear his convoluted logic, which just goes to show you that he thinks he still has a shot at running for president.
By the way, the majority of people in New Jersey for this course.
For this, New York has it.
Yes.
It's a very common.
Illinois has it too.
Okay.
It's a very common thing to have like.
Chris Christie wants to run for president.
Yeah, this is about him trying to get what he thinks is the reason.
Anytime anybody you hear Chris Matthews or anybody on TV talk about how Chris Christie's a guy who shoots from the hippie, he just speaks his mind.
Be aware that that's total bullshit.
Yeah.
Yes, please be aware because he doesn't speak his mind.
He's speaking up to people because he wants to run for president.
Yes, exactly.
He's crawling up the ass of the NRA with no problem.
Well, here he is.
Here's his convoluted logic on why he's against the regulation of 10 bullets per clip.
Ready?
I've heard the argument.
And so are we saying that.
And this came up, by the way, because some of the parents from Sandy Hook wanted to meet with him and he wouldn't.
And so here he goes.
I've heard the argument.
And so are we saying then that the 10 children on the clip that they advocate for, that their lives are less valuable?
That is the dumbest.
It's great when he just made the argument for banning assault weapons altogether.
Yeah, yes.
Yeah.
He goes.
If you take the logical conclusion of their argument, you go to zero.
Because every life is valuable.
Yes.
And so why 10?
Why not 6?
Why not 2?
Why not 1?
Why not zero?
Why not just ban guns completely?
Well, let's start somewhere.
Because that's a straw man argument.
Why not?
Why not?
Because we're talking about a reasonable limitation on gun rights.
That's what we're talking about.
We're talking about being reasonable.
Jimmy, you want people to 10 people to be shot at once.
That's what you want.
Yeah.
I say six.
I say six is the number that I can accept being shot at one time.
You say 10.
So if you take his argument to the logical conclusion, then I should be able to buy a bazooka.
I would be okay.
Because the people I'm going to kill with that bazooka, they're just as valuable.
So you shouldn't be any regulation.
We could go to, I should be able to get a thousand-round clip, according to Chris Christie, because if I only have 10, those 10 people are just as valuable.
You can't even get inside that logic.
There's no logic there to get inside.
You go in there and there's nothing to grab onto.
You just start slipping immediately.
There's nothing in what he's saying.
And by the way, this is the heart of legislation.
A heart of legislation is to make a compromise.
Yes.
Where you say, look, these things are killing people.
We don't want to take away all your civil rights, but we want to limit them because they're killing people.
So let's compromise at 10.
Well, the good thing is, though, he's actually in a position where he has to govern, right?
And he's going against the wishes of the people that he's governing, and they know it.
So people know it now.
So that's the thing about, you know, you can be a Tea Partier.
You can be a strict constructionist, but you have to then govern.
And people, just like with Thad Cochrane and when McDaniel down in Mississippi, people turn to government to solve some of their problems that they can't solve on their own.
And one of them is gun violence, this crazy gun.
We need to get regulation.
So, and then if you don't do that for them, they still want you to do it.
Do you know what I mean?
So that's the, so people get like my brother was worried that goes, oh, they could take over the Senate, the Republicans.
And I'm like, well, then they'll have to govern.
They'll have to govern.
You know, people will turn, people will say, I still don't have a job.
I still, you know, just like what happened with Senator Sam Brown back in Kansas.
He cut all the income taxes.
Their government, Kansas, is now a billion dollars in debt, and they lowered their credit rating.
So you have to, at some point, their rhetoric does meet reality, right?
So they live in that bubble, just like Chris Christie, this pretend bubble where 90% of the people want something and you're pretending they don't.
And they just keep talking against reality, not telling the reality in any way, but then they have to govern it.
It bumps up against them.
Well, and there's this assumption.
Chris Christie's, by the way, Chris Christie said, also downgraded their rating, also downgraded because he cut taxes for millionaires and raised them on the working class.
Again, Chris, so their ideology, which has been debunked now for 30 years, Robert, the evidence is in.
Supply-side economics doesn't work.
George Laffert was wrong.
And so it's nice to see when their ideology bumps up against reality because they have to govern.
But let me say this.
Unfortunately, it doesn't matter.
Like, because Kansas is a good example, the guy who's running against Brownback in Kansas isn't talking about raising taxes because he's afraid of saying it.
Like, that base of lunatics still runs the show.
Yes.
Well, and I don't think Christie cares about his popularity in Jersey so much anymore because I don't think he's going to run for another term.
My guess is he's just going to serve the two terms.
His only thing now is he wants to run for president.
And this is totally to please the people who are going to, if he met with the Sandy Hook parents, if he showed the common decency of even if he disagrees with their stance,
of having the common courtesy and the common decency to meet with these people who have a genuine grievance and who went through a horrible tragedy, if he did that and there were pictures of it, it would come back to haunt him in the primary in 2016.
He would be booed during the debates and the other candidates would use that against him, that he actually showed some compassion for people.
You're probably right.
I also, you know, but he's already got all those pictures of him hugging Barack Obama.
That's not going to happen.
And that's going to be in those Republican primary.
He can't have anything more like that, you know.
And he, so if he did anything on behalf of gun control, if he did even the smallest thing on behalf of gun control, he'd be finished in 2016.
He's finished in 2016 anyway, but like Jimmy, like you said, he still seems in denial about that.
Yeah, he is in denial.
He thinks he can run for president.
I mean, either that or, you know, he realizes this is his only chance to be able to run for president.
And, you know, he's going to have to do what he can do.
And, you know, I don't know.
Well, I think that the Republican Party is to blame in the sense of like they've allowed the NRA to take their entire party hostage.
You know, and I don't think that the NRA's line of policy even remotely represents the majority of people in the country.
No, they're not saying the Republican Party is not serving the will of the people.
They're serving the Will of the people that finance that.
Yes.
Or scare the bejesus out of them, which is the NRA people, because the NRA people will be vocal, well-funded, and they will put boots on the ground.
It's so nuts like when I hear pundits on TV talking about, you know, this divide within the Republican Party between the Tea Party and the more mainstream Republicans.
There are no mainstream Republicans anymore.
It's all Tea Party policy and maybe slightly less conservative than Tea Party policy, but there's no divide between the traditionalists and the Tea Party.
The Tea Party run everything in the Republican Party.
This is correct.
You're right.
Where are your mainstream Republicans?
Bartlett said recently that Bruce Bartlett, former Reagan economic policy advisor, he said, frankly, one of our political parties is insane.
And we all know which one it is.
They have descended from the realm of reasonableness.
That was the mark of conservatism.
They dream of anarchy and ending government.
That's them.
True.
And God forbid Brian Williams says that.
God forbid George Snuffalovagus says that.
God forbid, you know, any of those guys say any of that stuff.
They won't say it.
They would even say that on MSNBC, I don't think.
You know, Chris Matthews still goes on TV every day and makes the case that Hillary Clinton has to somehow win over the Tea Party.
She has to get white males who are angry.
She has to somehow get them, or else she won't be able to govern with a true mandate.
She has to get the people that Barack Obama lost in 2012.
I'm like, why?
He won with a great majority.
What are you talking about?
So he didn't have a majority of white people.
He had a majority of the country.
What are you talking?
He didn't have a true mandate because he didn't have white guys?
That's what Chris Matthews is saying.
George W. Bush technically lost the election.
Technically lost the election.
You know, that's a great point.
Technically, you mean he lost the election.
Yes.
Ha ha.
Yeah.
you So I'm here with the world's most offended listener.
How are you?
I am outraged, as usual.
Thank you for asking.
What are you outraged at today?
Well, there's so much.
And you were, I like, prefer to be offended by your show because it's easier to be offended and outraged at progressive white males because they usually, you know, they get, they're easier to manipulate and usually sort of respond to outrage in a more obedient manner.
You're saying they're easier to guilt into doing what you want.
Exactly.
But you were off last week, so I just had to enter the world or I had to enter the larger world of outrage, and it was extremely tiring.
What were you outraged at?
Well, this rapper, McIlmore, I believe is his name.
Yes.
But not only has he clearly done the white rapper thing, we've appropriated, culturally appropriated, another art form and built a lucrative career on it.
Like we haven't seen that parlor trick before.
It's essentially what it is.
But he did the most offensive thing where he went in disguise to an event and he just thoughtlessly got a wig and a fake nose and then a beard and he looked like a Jew.
Well, I don't think he looked like a Jew.
I think what.
No, it's don't be stupid.
Don't be one of these McElmore apologists.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm saying that.
He clearly was making an anti-Semitic statement.
Yes.
It was clearly his intention.
Well, I'm saying that.
It's so cruel.
It's the same thing as making fun of the mentally retarded or rape victims or any of these people.
Jewish people can't help that they look like that.
Okay, that's not what Jewish, but that's extremely offensive.
Yes, it's offensive that you think that you, but that's like a offensive stereotype of what a Jew looks like.
That's not what they look like.
Exactly.
And that's what's so offensive about it.
And I wouldn't even have noticed that had I not seen a bunch of headlines on my Twitter and online that said he dressed up like a Jewish person.
And thank God for that, because if I had just seen that as just raw footage, I've been like, oh, he's wearing some sort of crazy disguise.
So you wouldn't have.
Thank God for everyone pointing out his clear intentions, which were to be anti-Semitic.
Right, because you would have missed your outrage.
Exactly.
Okay.
And that's, for me, that's like missing breakfast.
Okay.
The most important emotion of the day.
Okay.
So what was the other thing that you were upset about?
Outrage?
Oh, that disgusting kiss between Michael Sam and his partner during the NFL draft.
That was this broadcast.
Yeah, wait a minute.
I thought you'd be in favor of that because that's celebrating diversity.
Right?
What do you mean you were offended by that?
I'm offended just like anyone else.
What do you mean?
I wasn't offended.
Look, some of us do not have partners and live extremely lonely lives.
And the last thing we need to do is just find, I have to go so out of my way to find storylines that don't involve romance and people being in love and having other connections with human beings in the pop culture that I consume.
I certainly don't need to have that foisted down, you know, foisted on me or forced down my throat when I'm watching my NFL draft picks.
I mean, how do we explain this to children?
Some of these children are going to grow up to be lonely shut-ins just like me.
Do I have to explain to children that some people get to be lucky and have partners in their lives?
Well, it's how do we explain this?
I don't have children, but if I did.
It sounds like you're just kind of offended at life.
Like life offends you.
Like people have.
Yeah, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
That's what I thought.
Well, listen, I'm glad you're still offended because it gives you purpose and it makes you feel.
Yeah, look what I'm reduced to when you take a week off.
I try to get on normal outrage channels and it's just like a newbie surfer trying to do a 20-foot wave.
I hear you.
I feel fun.
I need to do simple outrage, like the ignorant things that you say on your show.
Okay.
We've said, well, you know what?
Go listen to the podcast of this week.
Please get back to that.
Yes, get back, go listen to the podcast, and I'm sure you'll hear a lot of things that offended you.
Oh, I'm counting on it.
Okay, you never let me down.
Okay, thank you, offended listener.
Okay, I'm still angry.
Goodbye.
I know you are.
Goodbye.
you you Okay, that brings to a close our special shortened show episode.
I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoyed the offended listener call.
Thanks to everybody who helped support the show by using our Amazon.com box over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
The next time you think about buying something from Amazon, use our Amazon box and help support the show.
It doesn't cost you anything.
It doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, but it sure does help support us.
Okay, so thanks for using that.
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You click on our Amazon box.
It takes you to Amazon.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
Okay, that's it for this week.
I want to say thanks to everybody who was on our show.
Dave Rubin was a guest.
Mike McRae doing the voice, of course.
Frank Conniff, Robert Yasimura, Steph Zamborano.
Okay.
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