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June 28, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, the Jimmy Dore Show.
So the FIFA World Cup is all the rage.
You know, the one that's being held in Brazil so we can prove that even poor countries can still ignore its working class and poor problems in favor of wasting billions in service of entertaining the rich, just like the rest of the world.
Now, soccer has the ability to captivate the entire world.
Yes, soccer, a game played without using your hands or opposable thumbs or anything else that separates us from the animals.
It might accidentally make the game entertaining.
But still, I don't want to feel left out.
If everyone was into it, then I must watch to see what all the fuss is all about.
I saw that ESPN was airing Bosnia versus Nigeria and Colombia versus the Ivory Coast.
Oh, how exciting.
Let me take the day off work.
I get to watch two countries I couldn't give a shit about.
Oh, Columbia versus the Ivory Coast.
I get to watch a college play a soap.
So I'm watching the Bosnia and Nigeria game.
And it only took a few minutes for me to figure out how the game worked.
And yes, understanding it helped me a little bit to make it more enjoyable.
And seeing how the ball could be quickly passed from the midfield to the scoring opportunity also made it a little more fun to watch.
And I found myself thinking that maybe I was wrong about this soccer thing after all.
And then I saw a ball go from the midfield to about 20 feet in front of the net on a crisp and artful pass.
And the Bosnian player made a quick move and blasted the ball plastic goalie and into the net.
And I literally cheered, yay, nice play.
Wow, did I just get excited about soccer?
Soccer being played by a Bosnian?
Hmm, maybe soccer is magical.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it seemed boring to me because I didn't understand it.
And because you couldn't use your hands, because it was boring.
But the play happened so fast and even involved skill.
And I saw how playing a sport with only your feet could be an entertaining world-class sport.
And just then, the whistle blew.
The play was ruled off sides and called back.
The goal did not count.
Yes, the play was called off sides, meaning that the people in charge of soccer thought that the offense could gain an unfair advantage by passing the ball to a teammate closer to the goal, and they needed to handicap the offense because of it.
Because who knows what could happen if an offensive player caught a pass in a position to score a goal in soccer, that could make for an unfair advantage for the offense, or worse, make the game interesting and exciting for the viewer.
Off sides.
Yes, a sport that routinely ends in a zero to zero tie decided it needed a rule to help shore up the defense.
That's what people hated about soccer.
Too much scoring.
Off sides.
That's like baseball passing a rule to make it even slower.
Hey, Derek Jeter's up next.
Do you think I have time with the new rule to run to my car and get an oil change before his at-bat?
And that's what soccer is to me.
Baseball with more sweat and less excitement.
So instead of watching men from foreign countries play a purposely boring sport without their hands, I'm spending my World Cup soccer time taking naps and drinking iced coffees.
Score one for me.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, low-alevered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's our talking together.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined on the phone all the way from New York City from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hello there.
Frank, how was the new podcast?
Oh, my new podcast, my Pothouse90 podcast series, Dracula, has risen in the polls, and people seem to like it.
It's available at frankconnet.com.
Okay, FrankConniff.com.
Fantastic.
Come check it out.
The new podcast, Pothouse90.
Across the glass from me, hilarious comedian from Team Yasamur.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert, how are you, buddy?
Thoroughly enjoying this book I just got from Amazon.
Oh, you got a book?
What was the book you got?
It's called Your Country Is Just Not That Into You.
Oh, you mean you got this book, Robert?
It's a very well-written book.
You can get it now.
Yes, it is very well written.
You can get it now at Amazon.com.
You can get an e-book of it at iTunes.
You can get an iBook iBook.
Yeah, it's available all over the place.
Yes, yes.
I'm going to get me one of them iBooks.
Oh, that's right.
Get the iBook.
And across from him, hilarious comedian, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, it's Steph Zamorano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
I'm doing great, Jimmy.
Oh, fantastic.
I'm glad you're here.
Let's get to some of the jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, George Will had that column about rape and how the women who claim that they were raped do it because they want to get a special victim stat.
It was a horror.
We talked about it on the show.
And, you know, there was a St. Louis newspaper, the St. Louis Dispatch, I think it was called.
Sure.
They dropped his column.
Really?
Yeah, they dropped his column because of it, but it's still available.
We're all batshit blame the victim misogyny is sold.
And the Supreme Court had a big ruling this week.
They ruled in favor of the EPA in a case.
Yes, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the EPA, and conservatives worry that saving the planet could set a dangerous precedent.
Hey, by the way, I don't know if you heard about Gary Oldman.
He's given a Playboy interview where he said he agreed with Mel Gibson and cut him some slack because he works in a town where Jews are on everything.
He was saying about the same thing with Mel with when Alec Baldwin said the homophobic stuff.
He said, hey, come on.
It was weird.
It was weird.
He's defending all the stuff you shouldn't be defending.
But, you know, Gary Oldman is so good at playing villains.
He's just about the only actor with the skills to portray Gary Oldman in a movie.
And by the way, we had the big tea party, the Thad Cochrane, the race down in Mississippi.
And I was so relieved when the Tea Partiers lost to the establishment GOP candidate with the exact same policies.
I mean, I was really on the I was on the edge of my seat, Robert, waiting for that runoff down in Mississippi to see which GOP candidate would get to go to D.C. and do not one fucking thing that helps anybody.
It was really exciting.
It was really exciting.
But they were worried about voter fraud down there because a lot of, well, what they refer, what they mean is voter fraud.
It's also known as black people voting.
That's right.
Hey, by the way, it was the 25th anniversary of Tim Burtman's, Tim Burton's Batman this week, the 25th anniversary of Tim Burton's Batman.
And, you know, in honor of it, I went to, I'm going to go see something overhyped, overrated with somebody I love.
By the way, John Boehner, we'll get that to that later.
What's coming up on today's show?
John Boehner files a lawsuit against the president, and Neil Cavuto has had it.
That's right.
Plus, the New York Times asked Hillary Clinton what her favorite book is, and the answer just might surprise you, or will it?
Plus, we're going to talk about Iraq and just exactly what is our interest in Iraq and what is the problem.
We're going to talk about it.
Plus, Thad Cochran won down in Mississippi, and we're going to look at an interesting race between a Republican and a Republican, and which one was the Democrat.
Plus, we have an interview with award-winning author Des Zamborano about her new book, The Aboto Women.
We got phone calls today from Luke Russard calls in Morgan Freeman, our old friend.
And Haley Barber talks about the Mississippi race.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
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Send them an email at mackhelp at seanjames.com.
Thank you.
So the Mississippi Senate race was between Thad Cochran and McDaniel.
That's the Tea Party candidate.
Thad Cochran, the mainstream Republican, Thad Cochran.
So here is the commercial showing the Tea Party vision for America.
Here's McDaniel's commercial.
On June 24th, Chris McDaniel needs your vote to change Washington.
Chris McDaniel is a proven conservative leader with an agenda for Mississippi.
Repeal Obamacare entirely.
Reduce the national debt.
Cut taxes and term limits for all our politicians.
Let's make history on June 24th.
I'm Chris McDaniel.
And I prove this mess.
So the problem with his, what he's offering to people, if you heard what he's offering, let's break it down.
Let's break it down.
Here are the things that he's offering, right?
Mississippi, repeal Obamacare.
Repeal Obamacare entirely.
I've never heard that.
I've never heard a politician say that they want to repeal Obamacare.
This guy is an innovative entirely, Robert.
And what that gets people is nothing.
So what he's saying is, I'm not going to give you anything, but I will take something away.
No, but it's like when he says he wants to repeal Obamacare entirely, it's like in a strip club when they don't just say they have new dancers.
Their dancers are totally new.
Yes, totally.
He's given the, he's trying to amp it up.
So here's the next thing.
Entirely.
Reduce the national debt.
Reduce the national debt, which helps people zero.
No one's at home going, I can't buy a new house.
I wish they would reduce the national debt.
Oh my God, I can't pay my bills.
I wish they would reduce the national debt.
I went bankrupt when I got sick.
I wish they would reduce the national debt.
My job got outsourced to China.
I wish they would reduce the debt.
No one says this.
Oh, and by the way, who's reducing the national debt more?
No one says that they would rehearse that.
No one wants them to reduce the national.
No one gives a crap about the national debt.
And this is what his plan is.
His plan is to take away health care, reduce the debt.
Go ahead, Frank.
Well, no one is saying, wow, it'd be great to have a job out of construction crew rebuilding a highway, but I'd much rather they lower the national debt.
Yes.
I'd like to have a job, healthcare, and good schools, but if they could lower the debt, I would feel just as good with crappy schools, no job, and zero health care.
And by the way, even if you have Jedi mind-tricked people into believing that the national debt is a thing, the national debt has lowered more under Obama than it did during the Bush administration.
Right.
Yes, that is just massively so.
Okay, but facts don't come into this.
So here's his next thing that he's offering.
Cut taxes and term limits for all our politicians.
Cut taxes.
His next thing is cut taxes.
And when someone hears cut taxes, what they hear is, yeah, cut taxes for millionaires.
That's what they always hear because they're never going to cut taxes for you, and people know it.
And his next thing is term limits.
Again, he's offering you nothing.
He's offering to solve your problems by doing nothing.
He's not even offering to solve your problems.
He's not even talking about your problems.
He's not talking about any problems.
He's talking about bull crap.
That's what he's talking about.
This is his platform.
And he's offering nothing.
And here's what Thad Cochran, right?
Because the Democrats have become Republicans.
Now it's up to Republicans to defend the government.
And here's Thad Cochran, right?
Here's what he had.
First, he had Brett Favre come on, and he had Brett Favre come on and do a commercial for him.
Here it is.
I've learned through football that strong leadership can be the difference between winning and losing.
And when it comes to our state's future, trust me, Mississippi can win.
And win big with Thad Cochran as our strong voice in Washington.
Whether it's getting critical funding for our schools, Thad Cochran always delivers, just like he did during Katrina.
On June 24th, I encourage you to stand with a proven and respected leader, Thad Cochran.
Please tell your family and friends, let's stand with Thad.
So he's saying, look, this guy's going to help with education.
At least he's going to do something for you.
He's going to help you, right?
That's something.
So the government providing education for kids, they rebuild the government, helps rebuild after a natural disaster.
And so he's making the case that government help is essential.
And that's from a Mississippi Republican named Brett Effing Favre, who's saying that.
Look, the government can help us when we rebuild after a big crisis.
It can help us with education.
And here's Thad Cochran's.
Here's another commercial from Thad Cochran.
Mississippi gets $1.5 billion in federal education funding.
Chris McDaniel says he'll end that.
Because education is not in the Constitution.
How do we make up the gap?
Your property taxes go up.
McDaniel opposes the highway bill.
We lose half our road budget.
Result, higher gas taxes, worse routes.
No wonder every statewide elected.
So there you go.
He's making the case.
Turns out the federal government helps us.
They help pay for roads.
They help education.
They help.
And the Democrats have been so afraid of being Democrats that a Republican comes along and steals their message.
And guess what?
That message wins elections.
Thad Cochran just made the case for governments in Mississippi, and he won the goddamn election.
That's happening in Mississippi.
Of course, this comes, you know, all this government helping you comes with a right-wing social agenda, but at least there won't be as many potholes when that girl drives to get an illegal back alley abortion.
Strangely enough, here in the West Village where I live, there's a shop that sells Tad Cochrane.
So this is what happens when the Democratic Party stops being Democrats.
The Republicans have to step up, defend government, and win the election.
Okay?
And after years of, because Democrats have spent years trying to prove that they're as tough as the Republicans on foreign wars, they've been doing that so much that they forgot Americans are fighting a war of poverty in places like Mississippi.
That's what they're forgetting.
That's what the Tea Party has caused a lot of Republicans to have to blow their cover.
Because, you know, among other things, this Congress got rid of earmarks.
And so someone like Thad Cochran, who used to be able to, like, bring stuff back to Mississippi using earmarks, couldn't.
And so all of a sudden, everybody turned on him.
And he had to finally say, look, Mississippi basically sends like 26 cents to the federal government.
They send us a dollar.
And this is a dirt-poor state, and we desperately need it.
Like, he had, he was made the case, and he won.
While Democrats are putting Americans back into a wreck, Republicans in Mississippi are fighting each other over who can make government work for the people.
This is all irony, folks.
That's what this is called.
This is all called ironical.
And wasn't there?
Now, so is McDaniel accusing the Cochran people of voter fraud?
Yes.
Because he got black people to vote for him.
And when he – the first primary, nobody said anything about voting or – They're black and they're voting.
There must be something criminal happening.
So here's a commercial that Thad Cochrane.
Oh, here's a robo call that they were running right before the election.
The time has come to make a stand and say no to the Tea Party.
No to their obstruction.
No to the disrespectful treatment of the first African-American president.
This will do nothing.
Tea Party candidate Chris McDaniel wins and causes even more problems for President Obama.
Please commit to voting against Tea Party candidate Chris McDaniel's next two days.
That was Republican 600-year senator Republican from Mississippi Thad Cochrane's robocall, appealing to black people to vote for him against his Republican opponent because his Republican opponent will obstruct President Obama's agenda.
Wow.
And by the way, the thing that for some reason is missed in this entire thing is that a lot of black voters turned out for the runoff specifically to defeat McDaniel because they know no matter what, a Republican is going to win that seat.
Well, the people in Mississippi know that we have a two-party system back here in America.
I'm Scott.
Thank you.
So I got Haley Barbara on the phone to talk to me about the election of Thad Cochran down in Mississippi and the crazy Tea Party challenge.
And here, let's see if I can play a little bit.
Yeah, Haley, how are you doing?
I'm doing good.
How you doing?
You call me, you call me sideways, unawares.
I'm about to go to bed.
You a slave here.
I know you.
I know you probably were.
That was a little pure water here in Mississippi, Alabama.
I got my gym damn home.
I'm ready to hear it.
I'm rare to hear it.
What do you need to know, son?
So it got crazy down there.
A lot of blacks had to vote for a Republican, Thad Cochrane.
Blacks were voted.
Yeah.
Whoa, sure.
So, I mean, a lot of people.
All you're talking about is the election turnout down here at Mississippi.
No, a lot of the base is upset that that's.
There's all sorts of accusations of racism.
Yeah.
And that's for Nick.
I mean, speaking for myself.
Some of my best friends are a bunch of blanks.
A wave work.
So, anyhow, I don't know.
I don't know what this bike lay shit about Thad Cochrane.
It seems weird that he had to go get African liberal Democrats to vote for him.
So he can win at a Republican primary in Mississippi.
You know how crazy that sounds?
Well, hey, I figured, you know, I mean, there ain't no racial divides here.
Mississippi, there's no band risk.
Oh, yeah, these fucking blacks or whatever.
They're going to go vote for white folks, too.
White folks are going to go vote for blanks.
All right.
There's some news now.
It's the new South.
Okay, so what do you, how do you plan to deal with the discontent of your base of the Tea Party?
How do you mean?
Yeah, they're going to be discontented.
They wanted the guy who...
I don't know.
I mean, maybe they won't show up, and the Democrat will win in November.
Well, I mean, they'd be shooting themselves in the foot.
They did that.
Yeah.
Wait, hold up.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
What?
Oh, we didn't even think about that.
So you don't have Sarah Palin big split like Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Mike Lee.
They're more supportive of.
So the best thing for us to do is support.
Come on.
I'm trying to figure this out.
Where are we fucking dudes?
What is the problem?
The Tea Party guy.
So the Tea Party guy.
He is not there.
Nan.
Well, hold on.
In all these scenarios, the dude's white, right?
Out of the way, you know.
So why do you think it's so split, the Republican Party?
I mean, half the people voted for one guy, and almost exactly half the people.
Well, I'll tell you why it is.
We all big damn.
We heard a lot of Republican means a lot of different people.
So, you know, around there, that means one thing.
You know, up from Sarah Mouth, Massachusetts.
Connect again.
It means we don't love that.
Okay.
Well, you really, really didn't answer any of my questions, but I just don't.
I'm here to serve your purpose.
What would you say some of the big things that divide you, the Thad Cochranes and the McDaniels?
Well, I mean, there is.
I mean, admittedly, there is, you know, sort of a divide between the sort of a traditional paleoconservative and a libertarian.
Uh-huh.
Wang.
Uh-huh.
Republican Party.
Right.
No doubt.
So I think we're seeing a lot of, you know, we're seeing a lot of burden pains of those of that divide.
But we'll navigate it.
We'll figure it out.
It ain't like we're not going to figure it out.
Okay.
They're talking third party already.
Sarah Palin said that today on Sean Annity.
Wait, she helped Bob?
She's talking about.
She's talking about third party.
This really drove them crazy that you had to get liberal Democrat African Americans to look with Civil War within the Republican Party.
Yeah.
And we'll figure it out.
We'll work it out.
What we'll do, just like we did in the South, the actual Civil War, we're going to pretend it didn't happen.
This is Haley Barber.
This is Haley Barber.
I'll be back for a second there.
No.
So there was a Civil War in this country.
Uh-huh.
Just like we're having a Civil War in the Republican Park.
Okay.
We'll get over a Civil War in Republican Park.
Just like we got over the Civil War in the South.
By killing a bunch of.
Well, that's an option.
There's going to be some dead people.
Very unhappily, very unhappy blacks.
But we're going to get through it.
And we're still going to be a viable party.
Okay.
I don't see it, Haley, but I appreciate you checking with us.
And South Horizon again.
All right.
Thank you, Haley, Mr. Governor.
Okay.
Is this over?
You're.
All right, goodbye.
Goodbye.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Hey, the Jimmy Dore show is going to start taping on Saturdays in Culver City in front of TV cameras.
If you'd like to be part of that live studio audience, send me an email at jimmydoor at earthlink.net and we'll send you an email back with all the information.
Diane Sawyer announced she was stepping down from her daily evening anchoring gig on ABC.
Adios Diane and hello American Caucasian dude to replace her.
What a surprise.
I'm not sure if I'm going to miss Diane Sawyer, but you have to admit that she did do something only one woman has achieved, and that is earn higher ratings than Brian Williams and Scott Pelley.
I'm sure the new guy, David Muir, will be able to read a monitor and report on stories making women swoon with his news love-making ways.
But when will networks actually step into a new century that reflects an America that has diversity?
Remember the 80s?
We had Trisha Toyota and Connie Chung.
I liked them because they reminded me of the smart girls I used to cheat off of for math tests in second grade.
I know I can turn on PBS and watch Glenn Ivil and Judy Woodruff giving me the news in black and white, but let's agree, PBS is still PBS.
But what I don't see much of at all are brown people reporting the news.
Sure, I see a lot of brown people in the news, but reporting the news is a whole other ballgame or soccer game.
Sure, there are a few curvacious Latinas reporting the traffic or weather, but when is there going to be an evening news anchor that looks like moi?
I'm no genius, but did you know Hispanic estimated purchasing power will be 1.5 trillion in 2015?
Our buying power will grow faster than African-American buying power, 54%, Native American buying power, 65%, and Asian buying power, 89%.
And even recently, Univision Network made history when it came in first place during Sweeps Week, beating ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox in a much coveted demographic of adults 18 to 34.
In short, dear network executives, Latinos are here to stay.
Our purchase power is Buy Grande.
And by the way, we read, speak, and understand English.
Ha, ha, ha.
No.
Benghazi.
The fragrance, so captivating, they'll never want to let you go.
Benghazi.
Mysterious, preoccupying, infatuating.
Benghazi.
Watch them go from grasping for straws to grasping for you with a new scent that will drive right-wingers to distraction.
Benghazi.
Tonight, make something out of nothing and let that special someone finally get to the bottom of you with Bendozzi.
Nice.
Nice.
Hey, I hope you're enjoying today's show as much as you should be because it's really great.
All right, we got a lot coming up in the second half.
We got phone calls from Representative Peter King from New York calls in, and Luke Russert calls in to defend his tweet.
If you know about that, that's going to be hilarious.
Plus, our interview with author Desiree Zamorano, but right now, rubber against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
This is the Jimmy Dore Show on Pacifica.
People say, Jimmy, how do I help support the show?
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That's not that complicated.
Gilbert still doesn't understand it, but I'm explaining it to everybody else.
So thanks, everybody who already does that and thinks about the Jimmy Door show when they buy something from Amazon.com.
It's just that easy.
You go over to JimmyDoorComedy.com, you click on the Amazon box.
It takes you right to Amazon.com.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It doesn't cost you anything.
It doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, but it sure does help support the show.
So thanks, everybody who does that and bookmarks our Amazon link.
That's really nice.
Okay, let's get back to the second half.
A lot of great stuff coming up.
A lot of great stuff coming up.
Hey, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
We've got a lot coming up in the second half.
We get phone calls from Luke Russert, Peter King, Morgan Freeman calls in.
Plus, our interview with author Desiree Zamorano of the new novel, The Amato Women.
I'm joined in the studio on the phone all the way from New York.
It's TV's Frank from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Frank Connett joins us in the studio.
I'm joined by hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura from Team Yasimura and the host of Comedy and Everything Else.
It's Steph Zamarano, our resident Latina.
And right now, let's get to our phone call with Luke Russert.
Can I just say that Luke Russert tweeted out a tweet about the Mississippi election of Thad Cochran versus McDaniel?
And here, I bet it was something smart.
I'm going to read it, see what he said.
Only in USA can a 76-year-old white man from Mississippi be the Republican who figured out how to turn out African Americans for the GOP.
I'll read it to you one more time.
Only in the USA can a 76-year-old white man from Mississippi be the Republican who figured out how to turn out African Americans for the GOP.
And I tweeted back at him, Luke, in what other countries are politicians trying to figure out how to turn out African Americans.
So only in the USA can a white guy from a state called Mississippi with a place called Mississippi in it.
Unless there's other countries with states called Mississippi and African Americans and a political party called Republicans, could this happen?
But it happened here.
It happened only in the USA.
So I actually called him about that stupid tweet because it got retweeted like mental.
So joining us on the phone is MSNBC MSNBC correspondent Luke Russert.
Luke, are you there, buddy?
Hey, Jimmy.
We just had quite an election night, huh?
Yeah.
Let me give you a verbal retweet of my great line that everyone on Twitter is quoting.
Only in the USA can a 76-year-old white man from Mississippi be the Republican who figured out how to turn out African Americans for the GOP.
Luke, you know, the reason why everybody retweeted that tweet is because, well, it's idiotic.
You know that.
Everybody quoted it because as far as airy diet political insight goes, it was totally amazable.
Luke, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, the reason they were retweeting you is because the people on Twitter were making fun of you, Luke.
Jimmy, Twitter may be a lot of things, but a place for negative commentary is not one of them.
And besides, how does anyone argue with the logic of what it said?
America is the only place on this earth that has African Americans.
I mean, even Africa doesn't have as many African Americans as Americans are.
And you would think that more Africans in Africa would be African Americans considering how black most of them are.
Luke, I think there's a lot about Africa that you are missing that you don't understand.
I really do.
I understand it's a great country.
Luke, Africa, not a country.
Holy crap, Jimmy.
What a racist thing to say.
How can we get back to my original point?
What was your original point there, Luke?
What was your original point?
There are just some things that can only happen in America.
Like what?
Like what?
Take for instance, Eli Wallach, who just died.
Yeah, the great actor Eli Wallach, right?
He sure was.
Yeah.
And only in America could an American actor have a career acting in American films and on the American stage.
That's correct.
Eli Wallach often appeared on Broadway, and you don't see actors appearing on the New York theater stage in other countries.
Only in America, Jim.
You know, Luke, guess I can't argue with that, buddy.
No, you can't.
And did you know that one of Eli Wallach's most iconic roles, The Good to Bad, Obi, was filmed in Spain?
Only in America could an Italian filmmaker shoot a movie in Spain.
Luke, you know, when you think about it, the good, the bad, and the ugly was actually a foreign film.
That's right.
And a foreign film can only happen in America.
Luke, what you're saying is about to make my head explode, buddy.
So let's just focus on what a great movie, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was.
And tell me, who did you like better in that movie?
Did you like Eli Wallach, or did you like Clint Eastwood in that movie better?
Well, both sides were deadly gunslingers.
Both sides were desperados.
And both sides had equivalent reasons for doing what they did.
Okay, Luke, I think I see where you're going with this.
That's right, Jimmy.
Both I do it.
Okay.
Both I do it.
Yes, Luke, okay.
Both I do it.
Yeah, it's all right, Luke.
Both let's do it.
Thank you, buddy.
I appreciate it.
Let's do it.
Luke, it was good talking to you guys.
Both let's do it.
All right, bye-bye.
That was Luke Russer, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm here with a very special guest, author of the upcoming novel, The Amato Women, which will be available July 1st.
It's Desiree Zamarano.
Hi, Desiree.
How are you?
Fine, Jimmy.
I'm so excited you invited me to be here.
I'm so happy to be here.
Well, you're a big shot writer.
You're an award-winning short story writer, and you're a push cart prize nominee.
Yeah, that's me.
And you've written some other books, too, but this one you're especially happy about, correct?
I am very giddy about this.
Now, tell us a little bit about this is about four very different women linked by birth, struggling to reconnect.
Yes, I like to say, just like you said, four women connected by birth, separated by secrets.
Oh, yes.
the dramatic music.
It's a family drama.
Jimmy, is there any other kind?
There is no other kind.
Everything's an extension of family drama.
That's what I think.
You're Hispanic, correct, Desiree?
No, sweetie.
I'm Mexican.
Oh, I'm not supposed to say that.
Apparently, Mexican's a dirty word, but you know what?
I'm Mexican.
Okay.
I just have to say, my sister-in-law, my first sister-in-law, would say to me, but you're not really Mexican.
Yes, that's what I am.
Why would she say that?
You're not really Mexican.
I have no idea.
I mean, I'm brown enough.
I know where the blood of my grandparents come from.
That's good enough for me.
Okay.
So tell us a little bit about this book, The Amato Woman, Women.
So I was thinking, so when you write a book, you're investing years in it, really, years.
And I want to write it, wanted to write a book that I wanted to read.
Well, who did I want to read about?
I want to read about people like me.
I wanted to read about middle-class Latinas struggling with life.
And where do you find very different people?
Well, your listeners probably already know that one.
Duh.
In a family.
They are so different, and yet they're bound to each other.
And of course, conflicts arise.
I mean, I love my sister and she loves me, but, you know, still things can get tense.
So is there a little overlapping in this book with your real life?
Marginally.
I mean, I'm not going to confess.
I will stand on the fifth on that one.
Did you have expectations for this novel, Desiree?
Oh, you know what?
I think I had the entire world of expectations and exactly no expectations.
And I've had four agents and not a single agent, I mean, even, I mean, wow, four agents, one really big deal, New York agent, contacted directly a publisher, and they nagged me for this book.
It's like, and that was a blessing.
They're knocking on my door for me to revise this novel.
And so once it's done, it's like, it's done, it's exciting.
But, you know, right now, one of my girlfriends said, you're living the dream of your little girl heart.
And that's exactly how I feel.
And becoming a big shot published author.
Is that what you mean?
Is that what you mean?
Publish is good enough.
I think going to BEA 2014 was pretty exciting.
What is BEA?
The book Expo of America.
So lots of authors go there.
I told this story before, but you know, who knows about my book?
Who's going to be in line waiting for me to sign a book?
I got to my table.
There were at least 10 people in line.
And they came up, and it was great because I was speaking to them.
These women, I said, what are you doing here?
Oh, we saw this article in Publishers Weekly, and we're Dominican, and we're right behind you.
It's like, yeah, go, Dominicans.
Go, Puerto Ricans.
Yeah.
So now the book is the Amado women.
Well, you know, I understand you have a superpower.
Yes, I do.
What is your superpower?
I'd like to give it up, but it's invisibility.
Oh, that's your superpower?
Yeah, so can I give you an example?
Sure.
Okay, so I'm watching this movie.
It's called Enough Said.
Got a lot of critical acclaim.
I'm watching out of the corner of my eye.
Oh, it's set in Pacific Palisades.
Oh, it's set in Southern California.
One hour in, I have not seen a single brown face.
Somebody comes in with the maid with her bad Mexican accent that the director insisted on.
And I can't watch the movie any farther.
I can't.
And I am D.B. It.
And the woman playing the maid was not Latina.
Really?
So I wonder if all the Latina actresses were just sick of being offered those roles and refused.
Maybe.
So they had to cast somebody passing for brown.
So that's what I mean.
Invisible.
Okay.
On the screen, on the big screen, on the TV screen, on the laptop screen.
People of my demographic, meaning professional Latinas, are non-existent.
But people can hear about your demographic of people, or they can read about it in the new book, The Amato Women, right?
Which will be out July 1st.
That's right.
How do you spell?
Amato.
Let me spell it.
Right?
Amato.
Spell it for us.
A-M-A-D-O.
Amato Women.
Okay.
And you're going to be doing a book signing, I think, in Southern California coming up.
Yes, Sally.
We had Skylight Books on July 15th.
That's a Tuesday at 7.30, Vromans, July 30th at 7 o'clock.
And, you know, if anybody goes to my website, I'm going to give them a free e-copy of either Human Cargo or Modern Cons.
Oh, those are your patents?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And I'm giving away a free copy of the Amato Women if you sign up to my email list.
Really?
They can follow me on Twitter.
La Desiree.
D-E-Z-I-R-E-E.
La Desiree.
La Desiree.
We'll have all those links at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And thanks for coming in.
The award-winning author, Desiree Zamarado, her new book, The Amato Women, out July 1st.
So I was reading the interview that Hillary Clinton did.
She's running for, she's going to be running for president.
And so she was interviewed by the New York Times, the New York Times, and they asked her a question: if you had to name one book that made you who you are today, what would it be?
And Frank, any guess?
Valley of the Doll.
Funny.
She said, here's what she said.
I'll read you her answer.
She said, at the risk of appearing predictable, the Bible was and remains the biggest influence on my thinking.
I was raised reading it, memorizing passages from it, and being guided by it.
I still find it a source of wisdom, comfort, and encouragement.
Wow.
Yeah.
I would have expected a more politically calculated answer.
Yes, me too.
You know, I know one other guy who was asked that question, or a question similar, and what he said.
Here's George Bush was being asked that question when he was running for president the first time.
Local philosopher or thinker, do you most identify with and why?
Governor Bush.
He was asked, what political philosopher or thinker do you most identify?
He can't name any besides what he's about to say.
Here he goes.
There he goes.
Let me get it again.
Here you go.
Do you most identify with and why?
Governor Bush.
Christ.
Because he changed my heart.
I think that the viewer would like to know more on how when you turn your heart and your life over to Christ.
When you accept Christ as a Savior, it changes your heart.
It changes your life.
That's what I mean.
You know, God changed his heart, but not enough to make him stop ordering war crimes, torture people, and kill the mentally handicapped while he was governor.
You know what?
What?
You know what, Jimmy?
You're not even, it's not even a joke because when he did start the war in Iraq, Bob Woodward said, do you consult?
Did you consult with your father about this decision?
Meaning his father, George Herbert Walker Bush.
And Bush's response was, I consulted with the Heavenly Father.
Yeah.
So he literally, he literally thought that God called him to go to war, which he should have immediately been kicked out or taken to a mental hospital at this point because he started a war because he thought God told him to.
And this is like real stuff here.
Yeah, and this is the question that the first of all, let me just say this.
I'm mad at the question the New York Times asked.
It's like a cocktail party level question.
Hey, if you're going to ask her that question, why not go further and play Mary Fuck Kill?
You know what I mean?
Or how about Gun to Your Head?
Who do you who do you go totally lesbo with?
Gun to your head.
Of course she's going to say the Bible, Frank.
There are only like three books that you can use as an answer for that question, right?
You know what?
What's interesting, I think, is that either when he was running for president or in his first year as president, John F. Kennedy was asked what books he was reading, and he said that he really liked Ian Fleming's James Bond novel.
That was his answer.
Really?
And that's one of the reasons the James, not the only reason, but one of the factors that Ian Fleming became more popular, and then they made the James Bond movies.
But that's like a much better answer.
You know, that's like, okay.
Yes.
You like a good spy novel.
That's cool.
So, like, so she can only answer with like three.
There's only three books that she could mention, right?
She can say the Bible, the fountainhead, or the biography of Ronald Reagan, right?
Almost any other book's going to make her seem like some kind of elitist who actually reads more than those three books, right?
So that's another thing: is she, when she read for Senate in New York the first time in her first debate with Rick Lazio, she quoted C.H. Lewis, who, you know, wrote The Lion, The Witch, and the Lord Rollins was C.S. Lewis, kind of a Catholic philosopher as well.
Yes.
Afterwards, when they were analyzing the debate, like Republicans like George Tataki, I remember, criticized her for being elitist for mentioning a Christian children's book?
She was being elitist for mentioning a book that their kids probably have read his stuff, and yet they think he's elitist.
Yes.
My point is, what was Hillary supposed to say?
What is she going to say?
50 Shades of Gray?
You know, unfortunately, when someone asks a politician that question, what is your favorite book or what book do you like that had an influence on you?
That's still a coded religious test from the New York Effing Times, by the way.
And yes, and to be fair, Hillary Rodham is probably being honest because she was raised in a fairly conservative Methodist household in which she actually had to read the Bible, unlike so many people who just know the parts where you can't be a homo.
Still, I say, Frank, still, I say it would have been great if she had said, What the fuck kind of question is that?
Was this your first interview?
I'm trying to be the first woman president over here, and you come at me with this crap.
If she'd answered like Sarah Palin, she would have just said, Every book.
Yeah, every book I ever read.
I read all the books.
All the books.
I read all the books.
Unlike George W. Bush's response, which pretty much what he was saying was, well, because Jesus makes everything awesome.
Also, in the 08 election, Tim Rustert, he was still around.
He moderated one of the questions he asked all of the candidates, Democratic candidates in the primary.
What is your favorite Bible quote?
That was the question he asked.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
And wow.
And no one said, seriously.
You know, my favorite Bible quote is when you pray, don't be like the hypocrites and pray on the corners.
Go into your closet.
Go at home.
Do it in private.
Right.
That's my favorite Bible quote, and that's from Jesus.
He said, only the hypocrites pray publicly.
That's true.
Okay.
We're out.
Jesus was just the subject of the Bible.
He didn't write it.
Yeah, he didn't write it.
So what does he know?
Yeah, what would he know?
I got a phone call coming in.
Let me see who this is on the phone.
Who's coming?
Who's calling me?
Hello, this is Jimmy Doerr.
Who's this?
Morgan Freeman.
Oh, Morgan Freeman.
Are you kidding me?
Morgan Freeman.
This is Morgan Freeman, the actor.
Yes.
Wow.
Award-winning actor and restaurateur, Morgan Freeman has seen fit to call radio personality James Doar.
Well, it's a real honor, Mr. Freeman.
I'm going to tell you that.
It's a real honor.
The honor, of course, is mine.
I didn't know you were a fan of the show.
I did not know that.
It amuses me.
It makes me proud to hear your high level of satire.
Wow.
Well, thank you very much for saying that.
Listen, what's on your mind, Mr. Freeman?
I'd love to hear it.
Just go ahead and let us know what you're thinking.
Jimmy, I wanted to remind everyone in your esteemed party that this week marks the 50th anniversary of Freedom Summer.
Right.
That was the summer that about a thousand college students went to Mississippi to help register black voters.
Is that what we're talking about?
Right?
That's what we're talking about.
It was a groundbreaking event that forever changed the landscape of American politics and southern culture.
It was like the Hands Across America of 1964.
And even before it started, though, three young activists were murdered, right?
Yes, Jimmy.
Yeah.
Two Jews and a black getting a car.
This was once the premise of a hysterical joke.
Oh, boy.
But after the summer of 64, no longer.
That's a tough joke.
That's a rough one.
Yeah, that's a rough.
That's a pretty rough.
That's rough.
That's pretty rough.
That is high-grade sandpaper rough of a joke.
Yeah.
Listen, but can you change it?
Oh, I will not replace that.
Okay, all right.
All right.
You have to live with it, Jimmy.
Okay.
Well, could you please, could you set the stage so that people can understand what a big deal the Freedom Summer was really like?
Could you set the stage?
Oh, go ahead.
What should I say?
No, no, I want you to set it.
You tell me.
I don't know what to say.
How should an African-American man from Mississippi frame this story?
Okay, well, you tell me.
Okay, well, first you could start by saying, Mr. Jimmy, what happened during that summer?
Really, Mr. Jimmy, that's what you want me to say.
Yeah, I don't know.
You just go ahead.
You do it for us, right?
This is some sort of fake joke on the phone.
No, listen.
Could you just go ahead and frame what it was like?
It Would be my pleasure, Jimmy.
Okay, thank you.
It was a terrible summer.
It seemed somehow hotter than other summers.
Uh-huh.
More pregnant.
It was still the era of Jim Crow.
Uh-huh.
And to a lesser degree, his brother, Fred Crowe.
Okay, I don't think that that's a real thing, Fred Crowe.
Can you try to not be high at some point when I talk to you?
Okay, listen.
Listen, Morgan.
A bottle of Coke still only cost a dime.
Okay.
And the Pepsi challenge would not happen for 15 years or so.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm not.
The Pepsi challenge would not.
Is that what you're talking about?
Go through it, motherfucker.
The black vote has been suppressed since Reconstruction.
Just as doctors now suppress the danger of circumcision.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Suppressed through poll taxes and citizenship exams and talent competitions in which the white flower arrangement lady always seemed to win.
You know, Mr. Freeman, I don't think a lot of what you're saying is actually true or accurate.
And the black man had had enough.
A little discrimination, sure.
Morgan, I mean.
I mean, separate water fountains.
It's still water, ain't it?
Provoting and dating white women.
That's where we drew the line.
Okay, listen, Mr. Freeman, Freedom Summer was about all of those things.
And after all, we were the black man.
Strong, proud, owners of giant penises.
Okay, now that's just a stupid thing.
So we call up college students and said, hey, Wadi, you're going to jack off all summer.
Or do you want to get off your lazy pink ass and give us a hand over here?
Okay, Mr. Freeman, maybe you don't set the stage for it.
Maybe you don't frame for us what it was like that summer.
And then those smarty pants cracker kids went shore.
It will be like outward bound, only with racists trying to murder us.
And so they came.
Came by the hundreds to live with black families.
To eat with black families.
And to be introduced to the wonders of chocolate-colored strange.
Okay, listen, Mr. Freeman, you clearly don't really know what happened.
And a lot of what you're saying is actually pretty offensive, right?
No, it's pretty offensive what you're saying.
I confess, I am just making most of this up.
I know almost nothing about what happened that summer.
Why?
I was in flushing, New York in 1964.
Okay, all right.
Which was its own personal hell.
I bet it was.
But today, I felt it was my duty, as with all things, to provide the vocal narrative of those terrible days, so many years before the publishing of 50 Shades of Gray.
Okay, all right, listen, Mr. Freeman, I love your work, and I want you to call us whenever you'd like, but please just call in and talk about things that you actually know and understand.
Can you do that?
I apologize, Jimmy.
Of course.
Allow me to make amends and discuss a matter near and dear to my heart: having sex with my girlfriend.
Oh, no, no, no.
Okay, that was Morgan Freeman.
We had to cut him off there.
We had to cut him off there.
Hey, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, Jimmy, this is a great show this week.
Oh, my God.
It was fantastic.
What's coming up with the premium content?
Well, I'll tell you.
We're going to have a phone call from Peter King.
That's what's happening.
Sorry, so Senator Paul has said he's very hesitant to apply any American force in Iraq, right?
That's like death.
Let me tell you something, Jimmy.
Rand Paul is from what, Kentucky?
Yeah, he's from Kentucky, right?
The closure shirt guy has come to see in Arab.
It's like when he went on an antiquing trip and saw a little for Redboat.
And how do you get the bonus content?
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on premium.
You make your $5 donation a month.
That's all it costs.
I'm pretty sure that's less than a dollar a week, or maybe, yes.
And so you do that, and then we'll send you the passcode, and then you have access to it, okay?
To all the premium content going back over a year now, okay?
So do that.
Help support the show.
It's the right thing to do, and it makes you a great person.
That is for sure.
Okay, hey, guess what?
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McCrae, Frank Conniff, Mark Van Landuitt, Robert Yasimura, and Steph Samurano.
And also, big thanks to Paul Kozlowski for doing our fake commercials.
Those are hilarious.
And the book is called Your Country is just not that into you.
Have you picked up your copy?
Have you pre-ordered it?
It's available now at Amazon.
It's available as an iBook at iTunes.
Get your country is just not that into you.
The big Herculean effort that we produced, it's available right now.
Your country's just not that into you.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on the link there.
You can do it or get it anyhow you want to get it.
But please, get the your country is just not that into you.
And I'll see everybody in San Francisco July 12th with the Young Turks there.
If you're in San Francisco, we're doing the Regency Theater.
And so we get to meet you after the show.
We'll sign t-shirts and what have you.
We get to meet everybody up there.
So we'll see you July 12th up in San Francisco at the Regency Theater.
And there's a link for tickets, of course, over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And we'll see you.
Hey, guess what?
July 15th through 20th, I'll be at the Bally's Hook Casino in Las Vegas, okay?
So those are the near upcoming dates.
Hope to see you then.
And that's it for this week, right?
I'm going to be, let's go watch soccer until next week.
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