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June 7, 2014 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Door Show.
This week, New York op-ed columnist Maureen Dowd revised scared tactics from Reefer Madness movie with similar cornball results.
If you don't know who Maureen Dowd is, she's the New York Times Southern Belle of Bullshit.
If you're the type that thinks Imus in the morning is edgy, you'll think Maureen Dowd is dangerously subversive.
Starting her column in 1995, she rode Monica Lewinsky's Panties into popularity.
She would go on to wonder if politicians were alpha male enough for public office.
Later, she portrayed the Iraq war as a family drama, but the only family worth thinking about was the family that started it instead of the families who died in it.
When Maureen Dowd calls herself a humorous, that makes Dorothy Parker's ashes vomit.
When Maureen Dowd calls herself a feminist, Philip Schlafly is offended.
If you work for a Washington, D.C. PR company, you probably parrot lines from Maureen Down's columns in an attempt to appear interesting at parties.
She's been called the liberal, but she'll jump on any bandwagon available, be it Bush or Benghazi.
In her latest desperate bid for irrelevancy, she journeys to Colorado to sample their newly legalized marijuana products and is shocked to discover how stupid she is.
Demonstrating all the research that she typically displays in her writing, she apparently didn't do any background work or ask anybody anything about the experience beforehand.
She didn't say like, hey, how much pot should you take?
If I'm going to eat some, how much did I eat?
She recounted her experience by saying she, quote, nibbled off the end of a pot candy bar and then when nothing happened, nibbled some more, ending up eating an entire chocolate candy bar full of marijuana, a 16 dose.
That's what she took, 16 doses, and she end up curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours.
She said, quote, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.
No, just your journalistic integrity and respect died.
And guess what?
Everybody's telling you.
She said she was thirsty, but couldn't move to get water or even turn off the lights.
She goes on to tell scare stories about teenage girls jumping off hotel balconies and husbands killing their wives with handguns after eating pot candy.
The same type of dangerous pot candy that apparently rendered Maureen unmovable.
She couldn't get up to turn off the lights, but other people could get up to throw themselves off a roof.
Her column does raise many important questions.
For instance, is this the first time she's gotten high before writing her column?
What explains the last 17 years then?
Included in her tale of cutesy references to Chardonnay being her drug of choice, no cutesy references to the damage people do to themselves and others with alcohol and drunk driving.
Maureen Dowd is concerned about the risks of these marijuana products and what they may have on children and airheads like herself.
She thinks the childproof packages she purchased should have warnings on them.
Maybe there should be labels that read, quote, not to be eaten by Maureen Dowd.
But this latest column leaves no doubt that the panel of judges were hallucinating when they awarded Maureen Dowd a Pulitzer Prize.
And let's hope that her next column is about what it's like to do crystal meth.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
It's the Jimmy Dore show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to T-Daggy.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I'm joined in the studio across on the glass for me.
You can't see him, but he's here from Team Yatsamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hello, Robert.
How are you, buddy?
Very well, James.
Good to see you.
Not looking at you, looking at the camera.
All right.
Across from him, our hilarious resident Latina and the host of Comedy and Everything Else.
It's Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
I'm doing great, Jimmy.
All right.
Wow, you certainly do sound like you're doing great.
Let's do some jokes.
Frank Connoff not here tonight.
He's out doing something more important.
Ben Mankowicz doing something more important.
Dave Rubin doing something more important.
There's a lot of things that are more important than the best show on the radio.
Okay, here we go.
And this is, by the way, so let's do some jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, the Republican Leadership Conference, they had a straw poll.
You see who they wanted for president?
This is the Republican Leadership Conference.
And Ted Cruz won the straw poll at the Republican Leadership Conference for president.
And so that means that they must really want Hillary to be president.
Hey, you know about the Reading Rainbow?
They're reading Rainbow Show.
So they want to bring it back.
It was a show about kids teaching kids to read with LeVar Burton, right?
He went off television.
It came back.
They want to bring it back.
So they had a Kickstarter campaign.
It was so successful.
It did so well that Tea Party Republicans are launching their own series called Illiterate Landfill.
Come on.
Come on.
They do kind of shun the education and the science and things.
Enjoy.
And the joy of reading.
And enjoying.
That's something they don't like about it.
Yes.
Hey, did you know they got that open, a lot of controversy about the open carry in Texas, people carrying their guns in the Chipotles and what have you.
It's scaring the hell out of everyone.
You know, in a way, it's admirable how members of Open Carry in Texas are so open about how sad they are and how inadequate they feel.
Come on.
Come on.
Nobody with a regular size piece of manhood has to take an assault rifle into a Chipotle.
Let me just put it this way, Jimmy.
I don't have a firearm.
Yeah.
This is my rifle.
This is my gun.
This is for fighting.
This is for fun.
Okay.
Let me put it this way.
Both my rifle and my gun are for fighting.
Oh, wait.
Yep.
So the EPA announced they and Obama announced some new carbon emission standards that they're going to implement.
But the Republicans against it.
They're not up for the carbon emission standards.
They say it'll hurt the economy.
And because they care about the economy, they want the post-apocalyptic wasteland that we're going to be living in to have a strong economy.
Hey, by the way, thoughts and prayers go out to all of our pundits on the front lines of cable news, courageously disparaging an American soldier.
Turns out nothing angers conservatives more than the safe return home of an American soldier.
Got a lot of these.
You know, I just wish I just wish Republicans got as angry about sending a soldier into war as they do about bringing one home from war.
And, you know, no one would ever accuse draft dodging neocons of deserting their laptops or abandoning their posts at DC cocktail parties.
And let me just say this: if Bergdahl, that's how you pronounce this soldier, the soldier, Bo Bergdahl, the soldier who was in Taliban custody for five years, by the way, and John McCain, who said it was worse for him than he had it.
If Bergdahl was tortured when he was a POW, because there's some they think he might have been tortured, if he was tortured when he was a POW, conservatives will point out that his captors were more American than he was.
There's a lot of thinking going on in that joke, but it's really good.
Okay, what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to take a look at the POW controversy and all the false outrage that's happening on the right and how it's being let to be happening by our mainstream news people.
We're going to talk about that.
Plus, Maureen Dowd tried pot for the first time and reefer madness.
Looks like a scientific paper compared to the column she wrote about it.
I can't wait.
Plus, we got phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.
We have phone calls from Barack Obama and a lot lot more.
Oh, Haley Barber calls in today.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on The Jimmy Dore Show.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
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Thank you.
Everybody, we're talking about Bo Bergdahl.
And see, here's the weird thing about it.
The weird thing about it is this is a completely manufactured outrage on the right again.
And again, why has this happened?
Why every month do they seem to invent a new phony outrage?
It was the IRS scandal.
It was Obamacare, by the way.
But why would they go against Obamacare?
That's the plan they came up with.
Why would they go?
Here's why.
Because Barack Obama isn't a Democrat anymore.
He is a Republican.
So when he, instead of presenting the Democrat, the left-wing, the liberal healthcare plan, which is single-payer, he says, I'll just go ahead and propose the Republican plan, like Mitt Romney would have had he won.
I'll just go ahead and propose that plan.
So the Republicans have nowhere to go.
They can't say, hey, that's a great idea.
We love this guy.
Let's re-elect him.
So they got to go, that's the worst plan we ever heard.
The same thing with this, right?
Before, well, before they released this prisoner, Bergdahl, Bull Bergdahl.
Bo Bergdahl.
Before they did, everybody was screaming that Barack Obama is forgetting about him.
And I don't need to, you've seen it already a million times.
But I want to show you John McCain.
So John McCain, this came up before in like 2011 about this guy being captured and trying to get him away and making a switch.
Well, and negotiating with the Taliban.
And John McCain was against it then.
And then earlier this year, John McCain switched his tune and he said, hey, you know what?
This would be a good idea.
Let's get this guy out.
Well, here's what he said.
You'll hear him.
He's out with Anderson Cooper.
Here's what he said.
Oppose the idea of some form of negotiations or prisoner exchange.
I know back in 2012, you called the idea of even negotiating with the Taliban bizarre, highly questionable.
So, yeah, so he says, hey, wait a minute.
You're for this.
Now, this is going back to February of this year or March of this year when he was on with Anderson Cooper.
And so Anderson Cooper's like, wait a minute, you were against this.
You were against negotiating with the Taliban in 2011.
Why are you for it now?
Why are you for getting Bo Bergdahl out?
And here's what John McCain said.
Well, at that time, the proposal was that they would release Taliban, some of them really hardcore, particularly five really hardcore Taliban leaders, as a confidence-building measure.
Now, this idea is for an exchange of prisoners for our American fighting man.
I would be inclined to support such a thing, depending on a lot of the details.
So he was against it before because they were just going to let these five guys go as like a show of good faith, confident, look, we're going to deal with you.
You can trust our word.
And John McCain was Against that, but now he's for it.
He's for the Bo Bergdahl thing.
He was for it.
He's for it.
And now he goes on to talk about the difference in captivity that Bo has faced and why he's sympathetic towards him.
And here's what he has to say about it.
Anybody on Capitol Hill, you know better than anybody what this young man must be going through.
Obviously, it's a very different time.
How do you get through something like this?
I mean, for somebody in this situation.
Well, I was fortunate in where he is not that I had fellow POWs that even though I was a long time in solitary confinement, we would tap on the wall to each other and stay in communication.
If it wasn't for that, it would have been a very different story for most of us.
And this is why I feel especially sympathetic for Mr. Bergdah because he is all there by himself.
So he's extra sympathetic towards this guy.
John McCain, extra sympathetic towards this guy.
John McCain, this is just a few months ago.
Extra sympathetic, wants this deal to go through.
Okay.
If there was the possibility of some sort of exchange, that's something you would support.
I would support, obviously, I'd have to know the details, but I would support ways of bringing him home.
And if exchange was one of them, I think that would be something I think we should seriously consider.
There you go.
So we should seriously consider he's on board.
This is something we should do.
We should seriously consider it.
Barack Obama says, hey, that's a great idea, John McCain.
Turns out we're going to do it.
That thing you're talking about doing, you know, the guy I whipped your ass in 2008.
I'm going to go ahead and do your idea.
Just like I did Mitt Romney's idea on health care, I'm going to do your idea on how to handle our POWs.
Let's see how that turns out.
To bring Sergeant Bergdahl home, and we applaud that he is home, is ill-founded.
It is a mistake.
And it is putting the lives of American servicemen and women at risk.
And that, to me, is unacceptable to the American people.
What?
Unbelievable.
Yeah, we don't, we don't.
So what happened was he got the word from Central Command that you were wrong and you better go the other way on this.
So it turns out that, according to John McCain, we don't negotiate with terrorists, but apparently Republicans don't negotiate with Fox News either.
Now we know who gives McCain his marching orders and it certainly isn't his integrity.
Yeah, that's a good joke.
It's just painful.
I mean, of course he's for prisoner exchange unless he finds out that Roger Ailes is against it.
Then John McCain switches.
That's what happens.
So he says it put he put it he said it puts servicemen at risk.
This puts men American servicemen and women at risk.
Hey, you know what else puts American servicemen and women at risk?
War.
War without a mission that go on for over a decade.
Those wars put our servicemen and women in harm's way.
And yeah, John McCain, who beats the drum for a new military invasion every other week, cares so much about the men and women of the military, that's why he always wants to send them to another war.
Here's a guy who really cares, right?
And now, if he was a deserter, he's going to go through all the regular channels, right?
Yeah, it's a normal, he would go through a normal process of being repatriated.
He's going to get medical care.
And then presumably the Judge Advocate General will look into his desertion charges.
Yes.
So, and I guess the theory is we got to imprison him over here so they don't imprison him over there.
I'm not exactly sure.
So that's part.
So there's John McCain.
Not a lot of integrity.
Every once in a while you think he does have some and then it just poof goes right away.
So he was especially sympathetic, but now he's not.
Now he's not.
Now he's not.
I'm Sandra Zinglo for NPR.
Coming up Monday, part one of a three-part report about whether NPR has lost touch with the American people.
And after that, friend of the show and author Tom Janik will stop by with a copy of his latest book, The Gay Vegan Chef's Guide to a Healthier Revolution.
The Gay Vegan Chef So we're talking about the Bo Bergdahl.
Bo Bergdahl.
Bo Bergdahl, the POW who was swapped out for five Taliban people.
Now, the thing that got me is that people started smearing him, saying he's a traitor and his dad is a bad guy and what's wrong and why he's a bad, you know, to me, that's, we haven't even heard his story yet.
Well, here's how Shep Smith puts it.
Here's how Shep Smith puts it.
If you desert or commit treason, you have to be proved to have done so.
We can't just decide because some people come on television and yakity yak and we got a report of this and report of that.
That's what happened.
As the Army said, as the Pentagon said, you bring them home.
You bring them home first and then you investigate.
One thing is he's missing.
You fix that.
The other thing is there are allegations that he deserted or did anything inappropriate.
Then you investigate that and let the chips fall where they may.
It ain't a soup.
There is a Fox producer off camera furiously going, he's gone rogue.
He's off the reservation.
So what he just said there is true.
I don't understand how people who consider themselves Americans will allow themselves to publicly smear and pronounce guilty, a soldier who was five years captive without a trial, without knowing his mental health status, without knowing, was he bipolar?
Was he schizophrenic?
Was it worse?
Did he have a mental breakdown at war?
I flew over to Afghanistan to tell jokes.
I had a mental breakdown over there, and I was just there to tell jokes.
Okay.
I don't know how anybody gets through being over there.
All right.
So the fact that the guy snapped or whatever happened, maybe he snapped, maybe he did it.
We don't know what happened.
And I'm saying it's wrong to smear this guy until he bring him home, which is the proper thing to do, according to even McChrystal says.
Here's what General McChrystal said about it.
Here's McChrystal.
Well, we don't leave Americans behind.
That's unequivocal.
We don't leave Americans behind.
That's unequivocal.
That's General McChrystal.
So what does he say about the circumstances and how is this supposed to work?
General McChrystal was the allied commander in Afghanistan, who's a big hero to the right.
And here's what he says.
Sure, after Sergeant Bergdahl, then Private Bergdahl, came out missing, We did a huge number of operations to try to stop the Taliban from being able to move him across the border into Pakistan.
And we made a great effort and put a lot of people at risk in doing that.
But that's what you should do.
That's what soldiers do for each other.
So it wasn't the wrong thing to do.
So everybody keeps saying, we lost six guys trying to find this guy who's a deserter.
General McChrystal, the general, just said, this is what you're supposed to do.
We would do this for him.
We do this for anybody else.
This is what you're supposed to do.
But apparently, here we go.
I think we're going to have to wait and talk to Sergeant Bergdahl now and get his side of the story.
One of the great things about America is we should not judge until we know the facts.
And after we know the facts, then we should make a mature judgment on how we should handle it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Unlike other people, every other person who's commented, he thinks, no, we should comment and we shouldn't wait.
And it's okay.
What if you're wrong?
You just smeared an American soldier.
Well, I guess we'll take it back, but I don't think we're wrong, so smear him.
It shows a lack of character.
It shows, well, it just shows how craven half the political debate is in America.
And that's not saying that I'm any fan of the Democrats.
The Democrats are mostly bought and paid for by Wall Street and corporations, right?
So we're living in a banana republic right now where our representatives are not responsive to our electorate.
They're only responsive to their donors.
So they're corrupt, but there's a half of the electorate that is literally untethered from reality and completely manufacturing every new scandal in a monthly basis, right?
And it's because Barack Obama and the Democrats have become Republicans.
This is why.
They've got no way to attack him.
They would love to attack his single payer health care plan, except he instituted their plan.
They would love to attack his real foreign policy, except he's doing their foreign policy.
He's killing bin Laden.
He's bombing Libya.
He ramped up the war in Afghanistan.
He did a surge.
He's doing everything they want him to do.
And that's why they look, that's why this is happening.
Here is the former official, the chief advisor to President Bush.
Here's what he had to say about it.
But, you know, we can't keep them for another 50 years.
And in particular, with the Afghanistan war winding down, we were going to have to return them sooner or later.
Not an easy choice here.
So he says we're going to have to return them sooner or later because the war is over.
Well, matter of fact, it's not sooner than later.
There's a deadline.
Yeah, it's basically January 1st, 2015.
They have to be expatriated.
And these people keep saying, they keep saying, I don't know if we should have let these five bad guys go.
They were going to be let go anyway.
And by the way, they're actually in a safer place right now.
They're on parole in Qatar.
Yes.
Right now.
And they'll be that way for a year.
They actually are more monitored for an extra six months than they would have been if they had just been straight out released.
Right.
So, but what about, would the Bush administration have done this?
You know, I'm not saying this is clearly an easy choice, but frankly, I think a Republican, a president of either party, Republican or Democratic, confronted with this opportunity to get back Sergeant Bergdahl, who was apparently in failing health, would have taken this opportunity to do this and then take the same kind of heat that President Obama is taking now.
I think we would have made the same decision in the Bush administration.
There you go.
So all this is completely phony, manufactured.
We know it is.
I like to think of Bo Bergdahl as reverse Jessica Lynch.
That's how I look at her.
Okay, so let's remember what Shep Smith said.
Let's remember one more time.
If you desert or commit treason, you have to be proved to have done so.
We can't just decide because some people come on television in Yakati Yak and we got to report of this and report of that, but that's what happened.
As the Army said, as the Pentagon said, you bring them home.
You bring them home first, and then you investigate.
One thing is he's missing.
You fix that.
The other thing is there are allegations that he deserted or did anything inappropriate.
Then you investigate that and let the chips fall where they may.
It ain't a soup.
Yes, these are dividing lines on how you handle this.
So let's see.
Did the rest of Fox News take Shep Smith's advice or General McChrystal's advice or the senior advisor in the Bush administration's advice?
Let's see if they listen to them or their craven political operatives who told them to make a political hay out of this and smear a soldier and his family.
Let's see what they did.
Not only was he a deserter, Bergdahl, not only a deserter, it was well known that he was a deserter.
Looks to me like a deserter or a traitor or both.
How far did they go to get one anti-American back into the country and trade up for five anti-American why the Obama administration would give away five terrorists to get him back?
Yeah, he said, I'm ashamed to be an American.
His father also wrote back to him an email, quote, obey your conscience.
That's three days before he left.
And we're hearing from our sources now that he's also having trouble speaking English.
Not even sure if he knows how to speak English anymore.
Wow.
You mean five years away from speaking English and he doesn't know how to speak English anymore?
What a shock.
This guy.
So what they're saying is, this guy's a traitor.
This guy's a traitor.
Did you give him a trial yet?
No.
Did you hear from him yet?
No.
Is this the worst, lowest thing you could possibly do?
Yeah, probably.
Wow.
Will you have to pay a, will you have to pay a price for this?
No.
No, none of us will pay a price for this.
Jimmy, it's the president.
Oh, before I forget, I had a quick question.
What the fuck?
I said, what the fuck do these people want from me?
Literally the only POW in this whole war.
And I got unbacked.
What is the huge goddamn problem?
Oh, you people are mad I traded five get more prisoners?
Guess what?
Papa had to release those guys in a year anyhow.
I got some shit in return.
That's a real money ball shit, man.
And by the way, I didn't just get Sergeant Burr Dahl.
I got three rugs, a dozen fertile goats, and a Derek G a rookie car.
It was a sweet fucking deal, man.
What do they get?
Five old dudes who are going to bore them to death with stories of, well, when I was a Guanamo.
I gave it a month before the Taliban is all like, enough.
We get with the Cuban prison stories.
I'm basically sending them their weird boring uncles.
You tell me who got the better part of this deal, man?
Oh, I should have left this guy in the shit can of stand because he was a deserter.
Yeah, that's definitely a precedent I want to set.
No soldier will be left behind unless maybe you did something sketchy.
Here's how that'll go.
Dear Afghanistan, we will be leaving a butt ton of soldier rapists in your country.
They should be right in.
Love always, Barry.
No.
If we did shit like that, John McCabe would still be at the Hanover Hilton.
We're at a dunce cap that says, I crashed planes.
It would not be bad because then Lindsay Graham would lead a ragtab group on a mission to rescue his great love.
And I would not have to deal with that particular weirdo couple.
Jimmy, just so you know, this job sucks.
It sucks.
I got to go.
I got a bunch of white guys waiting to get in here and talk some shit about some shit to me like anything matters.
Man, I just got to remember.
Two more years of this, and I can get back to fucking my wife like a professional.
What does Linda Claire say?
Fuck me, POTUS.
We're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
This is the Jimmy Dore Show on Pacifica.
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Okay, now let's get back to the second half.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in the studio by Robert Yasimura from Team Yasimura and our resident Latina, the host of Comedy and Everything Else.
It's Steph Zamorano, and we're talking about the craziness and the manufactured outrage on the right and the craven misrepresentation and the smearing of a soldier for political purposes.
And right now, we're going to talk about Bill O'Reilly.
He's going to call in, by the way, in just a few minutes to defend what you're just about to hear.
let's get back to the studio So we're talking about Bo Bergdahl.
And I'm here with Robert Yasimura, Steph Zamarano.
We're talking about the crazy over-the-top reaction the right wing had to it.
They're completely using this to make political hay.
Here's what Bill O'Reilly.
So Bill O'Reilly, so the guy's usually the logical.
Bo Bergdahl.
Yeah, Bo Bergdahl.
His father was trying to, you know, get for five years.
Your son's captured.
How do you sleep at night?
Your son's in captivity with the Taliban.
How do you say that?
He's the only PMW.
I mean, he's the only POW.
PMW in the whole, and probably BMW.
He's the only BMW.
Probably the only BMW also.
So he's been basically mounting a one-man crusade for the last five years to get anybody to listen to him to get his son out.
Right.
It sounds suspicious.
So Bill O'Reilly doesn't like that he had, because he grew a beard in solidarity with his son.
Like, as long as my kid is in captivity, I won't shave, which is something a lot of people do.
Baseball players do it in the playoffs.
They don't shave and Movember and all that stuff.
So here is Bill O'Reilly said that his dad, because he was wearing a beard, looked a little bit too much like a Muslim Taliban guy.
And here's so he said, here's what he, but he came back to correct the record the next night.
Here's what he said.
Now, the reason I said that Robert Bergdahl looked like a Muslim is that he looks like a Muslim.
So thanks for clearing that up.
I was afraid that what you were doing was smearing him by calling him a Muslim, even though what he looks like to me is the Duck Dynasty guy.
But I guess whenever you feel like someone's a Muslim, you go, he's a, and by the way, that's bad.
If someone's a Muslim, that's bad.
We pretend to have equal respect for all the different religions, but we don't.
I mean, you know, Bill O'Reilly doesn't.
So this is kind of funny.
When I say funny, I mean, you know, if you think about it too long, it will make you cry for our democracy.
Sure.
But, and the fact that people who are smart, who I respect, don't see through this.
Not only do they not see through it, but they repeat it.
Yeah.
That's sad.
The fact that you would allow yourself to not only smear a soldier without A, hearing from him, or B, giving him a trial.
Wouldn't you want the same thing done to you?
Sure.
Yes, you would.
So here's, so of all people, this story is so horrible.
Howard Kurtz is the hero.
What?
So Bill O'Reilly says that.
Howard Kurtz comes on to call him out for it.
And here we go.
I said that Robert Bergdahl looked like a Muslim when he appeared at the White House with President Obama.
A, he absolutely looked like a Muslim.
B, he talked in Pashto, the language of the Taliban.
And C, he thanked Allah.
I thought his appearance was totally inappropriate.
I said it.
I'll stand by it.
Why am I being injected into that?
Because what you said was a smear.
That's why.
What do you think, Robert?
Well, my favorite part about that is he literally describes the ways in which he's injected himself in the middle of stuff and then goes, why am I being injected?
Because you did it.
It's like, you know, that's the whole, that's it.
Let's listen a little more.
Well, I think you went too far on that one because I'm not a fan of how Bob Bergdahl has conducted himself, but cut the guy some slack.
Why?
He is not because.
Why?
Is it like the guy volunteered to fight in our war and then had a mental breakdown overseas or something?
Why should we cut him slack?
Why?
His son was missing for five years.
He's been through hell.
So what?
So my son wasn't.
So what?
I don't know.
I don't.
I'm pretending that those things don't matter.
I'm pretending circumstances don't matter.
That's what I'm doing.
Although when those circumstances come up, I use them for political hay.
Suddenly, this guy from a small town, Idaho is thrust into the national spotlight.
He's not the issue.
He didn't walk off from a military unit in Afghanistan.
My job is to be honest and analyze honestly.
Oh, my God!
That's his job.
That should be in a loop.
That's his job.
Robert Bergdahl looked like a Muslim when he appeared at the White House with President Obama.
A, he absolutely looked like a Muslim.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
You know how Muslims look.
They look just like duck dynasty guys.
They look like they're going duck hunting or gator hunting.
You know, that's what Muslims look like.
That's why we go down to Louisiana and arrest them all.
B, he talked in Pashto, the language of the Taliban.
And C. Which we know is illegal.
You can only speak one language in America.
Here's C. He thanked Allah.
I thought it did.
Again, this is you're not allowed to have a different God.
This is religious litmus tests.
I thought for sure C was going to be, he was wearing a khaki pant.
Oh.
Appearance was totally inappropriate.
I said it.
I'll stand by it.
Why am I being injured?
Okay, so here.
So here he goes on to make a prediction, Bill O'Reilly.
Like a Muslim.
He speaks Pashto.
He thanks Allah.
It's inappropriate.
Okay, is he over the edge because of his boy?
Maybe.
And I feel bad for him if that's the case.
But what he did, if that's the case, is he over the edge because of his boy?
Because his son was in captivity for five years.
Yeah, maybe the guy's a little screwed up because his son.
I don't know, Bill.
He is literally the only prisoner of war being held by the Taliban for five years.
He is the one person upon whom the Taliban can focus all of their rage and disappointment.
You know, my dog ran away for an hour.
I was, I could, I almost burned my house down.
That's how freaked out I was, let alone my kid being held hostage by the Taliban.
Yeah, imagine you lost your keys.
Now multiply that by a quadrillion.
Yeah, I lost my keys.
I couldn't sleep all night.
Here we go.
And how he presented himself was inappropriate.
And I said it.
I didn't say it with any rancor.
I said it.
He didn't say it with rancor.
He was saying it in a nice way.
He was saying, look, this guy's inappropriate.
Let's go have coffee.
Look, I think he should have shown up in a tuxedo, maybe with a pair of high heels dangling off one finger, a martini glass in the other, and done a little number.
Thank God the wife wasn't wearing a burqa.
Oh, yeah.
Context of, I wish he hadn't done it.
But I'll tell you this, Kurtz, and you're going to remember these words.
You know, when he talks, when he calls you by your last name, that's his faux tough guy.
By the way, even I, it even makes Coward Kurtz laugh.
Look at that.
Even Kurtz is like, oh, here comes it.
It's not even that he's mad that Robert Bergdahl did that.
What he's mad about is that he's standing next to the president.
Well, that's what he's mad about.
The president he hates, by the way.
That's all he's mad about.
Right.
This father and this son, they were sympathetic to the Taliban.
And I'm going to say that like it's a fact, even though I know nothing of the sort.
I just, in case you weren't sure if Bill O'Reilly was a horrible human being, I've got a million other clips just like this one.
So that's the whole thing.
This isn't a debate that there aren't two sides to this.
This, what they're doing is wrong.
They're smearing.
General McChrystal said it's wrong.
The senior advisor from the Bush administration said it's wrong.
Howard Kurtz, for F's sake, said it's wrong.
There you go.
So I got Bill O'Reilly on the phone.
Oh, good.
Got him on the phone.
Let's see.
Hello, Bill.
Jimmy Dore.
This is Bill O'Reilly.
Hey, Bill.
How are you doing, buddy?
Couldn't be better.
I'm enjoying watching you yoga class pinheads be all confused about the release of Bo Birdblog.
Hey, listen, if we're going to be leaving Afghanistan, shouldn't we get all our soldiers out first, Bill?
We never negotiate with terrorists.
They aren't terrorists or the Taliban.
They got beards, don't they?
Yes, they do have beards.
This guy's a traitor.
He's giving all our computer secrets to the Russians.
Bill, I think you're confusing issues here.
This guy deserted his post, which caused all the death happening in Afghanistan now.
That place has turned into a war zone.
It's that guy's fault.
It's his fault.
Bill, Bill, why would you be upset at the release of the release of a military soldier?
Because me and the rest of the Republicans don't want any American soldier coming back from Afghanistan.
Bill, the war in Afghanistan is ending.
When I served in combat, we said never leave a man behind unless the president is a black guy.
When I was in a battle, we would.
Bill, you were never in combat.
Yes, I was.
No, you were not.
Yes, I was Dor.
I was up all night walking the perimeter looking for Charlie.
Who goes there, friend or foe?
Those dirty gooks got my boy text right between the eyes.
Bill, you were never in the military, okay?
You thank me for my service, civilian.
Yeah, Bill.
Because of patriots like me that keep this country safe from secularists like you and the Taliban.
Bill, you're not making any sense, buddy, at all.
Everything I say makes sense.
Thanks to the five beardos we trade in this prisoner swap, our adversaries have a strong incentive to capture American soldiers instead of killing them.
That's a bad thing, Jimmy Dore.
Bush sent back over 500 Taliban guys.
And so why are you so suddenly angry about five?
I'll be straight with you, Dor.
The Benghazi thing was getting kind of old.
Sure, sure.
The Benghazi thing getting old.
And Roger Ailes knew we had pay dirt when we saw Bird Dog's parents.
If the father was a fat cell with a crew cut eating mayonnaise sandwiches and waving the American flag, we wouldn't have a story.
Lucky for us, they look like Marin County hippies with an electric car full of Joan Baez CD.
You know, I thought his dad looked a little Amish, to be honest, don't you think?
There you go.
The Amish don't watch television.
Very dangerous people.
But, Bill, Bill, nobody has the full story yet.
And, you know, it's clear that you're just attacking anything that the Obama administration does because this guy Bird Dog hated his country so much that he joined the military just to get captured by the enemy.
Yeah, that's about as much sense as you guys are making.
Bill, I can't pretend to know about everything that happened.
No, I can, and I will.
Okay.
We got to convict him now before he gets home and tells his side of the story.
When he gets back to Idaho, Fox News viewers should get out their pitchforks and burn down his home.
Bill, don't you think that doing that is just a little bit irresponsible?
Of course, it's irresponsible.
This is a little more fun than leading a lynch mob.
That's why God gave this great country freedom of speech.
So people like me can scream, burn the witch.
Burn the witch.
We'll do it live.
Burn the witch.
Okay, you know what, Bill?
I'm hanging up on you now, buddy.
I really don't want to hear anymore.
Don't hang up on me.
I hang up on you, Jewface.
Yeah, I'm not chewing.
You stay on the line.
No, I'm going to hang up, buddy.
Until I hang up on you.
No, you don't hang up.
I'm hanging up.
Okay.
Are you still there?
Yes.
Oh, I got you.
The Jimmy Dorr show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
Okay, on the phone with us right now is one of the funniest guys I know, a great human being.
Everything he says makes me laugh.
And an ex-military man.
It's my buddy Greg Hahn.
Hey, Greg, how are you?
Jimmy Dog, how are you?
What's going on?
Thanks for having me on the show.
I've never heard this show.
I'm coming in blindsided.
What's going to happen to me?
You're going to tune me in.
Let's work it out.
Let's work it out.
Okay.
Ari, listen, I wanted to get your...
We're both smart guys, and we're both comedians.
I mean, what is it we can't, if we teamed up, couldn't we solve a lot of problems?
First of all, why did you go into politics where we're supposed to make people laugh?
Because there's no.
Because there's no bigger group of jackasses than politicians.
That's why they're easy to make fun of.
They're easy to make fun of.
So now, let's get right to the point.
Now, so that we have this POW situation where there was a swap for hostages.
And now, my position is that it's weird to see, first of all, a lot of people, this is how it's supposed to go normally with the military.
This happens all the time.
John McCain was for it.
General McChrystal said this is exactly what you're supposed to do.
But, you know, of course, that's not what we're hearing in the news, right?
We're hearing the exact opposite, that this guy was a traitor.
His dad has a beard.
He must be in the Taliban.
He doesn't even speak English anymore.
This guy's a deserter.
So what's your position?
Is your position that we should let a guy who was captured in war come home and make his case first, or should we judge him before he comes home?
Well, here's what I think.
First of all, I don't know, was he captured?
Did he wander off?
I know he, from what I'm hearing, he sent his belongings, including his computer and his clothes to his parents long before he left the base.
And he wrote them several emails saying he's disgusted with the military, or so to speak, et cetera, et cetera.
He left a goodbye note.
Am I right or wrong?
You've got the show.
Am I correct or not?
You know what?
I really don't know because everything that we're talking about is just speculation.
This is all rumor.
Well, some of the stuff is, but some of the stuff has been like from NPR and CNN and New York Times.
He did, I believe he left a note.
He wrote some emails despairing, you know, hating the Army and America.
And so then he takes it upon himself.
From what we know so far, it was five years ago, by the way.
It didn't just happen two days ago.
Five years ago, the guy took off, right?
He left.
He either hit in the car and took off and he didn't take his weapon.
I mean, it's not like he was charging the enemy.
Didn't take his weapon, slack jacket, didn't take his night vision goggles, nothing.
So that's enough.
Like, if you and I went and we played over there in Afghanistan, would we do that?
I mean, would we, was that a move you would make?
Is that normal?
I mean, I was, I'll tell you, I was not of sound mind when I was in Afghanistan.
I'm not kidding.
Were you drinking?
No, I wish I was.
I had an illness at the time, but the whole thing was very stressful on me psychologically.
Well, you're a good guy for going over there.
You're a good guy for going over there.
It was, you know, I would never do it again because it's just crazy.
Right.
So, Mike.
Well, I understand.
I mean, I agree with you.
I'm just saying, I'm just saying, Jimmy, I'm just saying this is not normal.
Like, if you were in the military, believe me, you know where the barriers are.
If you cross, if you go off base, especially in Afghanistan, you know you're in grave danger.
If you're writing notes, you're sending stuff home, and you take off with none of your...
You and I, we're just not going to do it.
It's not going to happen.
It's not normal.
I don't know if you call that an all-out POW.
I mean, it does point to the behavior of a deserter, potentially, right?
You've got to take a look at that.
I know you want to defend the guy, but another thing that's interesting is none of his fellow troops.
Well, actually, they're speaking against him, the other guys in the platoon.
Right.
You know?
Right.
So you don't have a bunch of guys piping up going, he was a great guy.
You get none of that.
You get quite the opposite.
No, no, you know, everything you're saying, if this is all true, I feel the same way you do about it.
Well, I mean, check me out.
I don't want to be sibbing.
Check me out and see if anything's incorrect.
This is all the stupid.
I don't care about his father's beard or whatever you were talking about before.
That means nothing to me.
I think the guy took off.
It sounds like he took off.
And then what I worry about is is it true or false that six troops were killed in the search for this guy?
So now that's again, that's also hazy because, yes, definitely.
We got to find that out.
That's either a yay or nay.
And then here's another question.
Here's a question.
I've heard more.
Seriously.
Let me just speak to your last two points.
So your first point is that he might be a deserter.
And all the evidence that we do have, even though it hasn't been presented at a formal trial, but the evidence that we do have points to that he was a deserter.
I mean, it's circumstantial evidence, right?
Right.
At least.
Yes.
Yes.
So I agree.
But my point is, shouldn't we give this guy the benefit of a doubt before we judge him?
Which seems like people are prejudging him.
And I think the least that, like, if it was you, if it was you who was a prisoner, I would say, hey, well, let's wait.
Can we hear his side first?
And, you know, this guy.
And so that's the first thing.
But the second thing is, according to General McCain.
It wouldn't happen to me.
I'll tell you that right now.
It would not have happened to me.
I know you would not.
I know you.
You would not have.
Go ahead.
I'll let you finish your points.
But just General McCrystal.
General McChrystal, he says you can't conflate.
People are conflating the two things.
Hey, was this guy a deserter and should we have gotten him back?
General McChrystal says you get him back, no questions asked.
That's just how we do things.
And then you look into what the circumstances were around his being captured.
So he said the first thing is...
I mean, or whatever, whatever.
And he's being captured.
I mean, if you wander off base in Afghanistan into the Taliban, I mean, being captured, I guess, you know, it's just, I don't want to, he's not on the same playing field as a guy in a convoy, and the convoy gets ambushed, and that group gets captured.
I mean, it's a little different.
Thank you.
No!
you you Hi, we're on the phone.
We have Carl Kozlowski, the curator, the founder of Radio Titans, Radio Titans.
Is that Radiotitans.com, Carl?
That's right.
All right, so you can catch him at RadioTitans.com.
I've been on a bunch of his shows.
It's a great network.
Check it out.
Bunch of big guests this week.
I mean, this month.
But right now, we're going to talk to Carl.
Now, Carl, I like to have him on because he considers himself conservative.
And so I always like to get the other side of the opinion.
And so, Carl, today we're talking about this swap of the POW for the five Taliban bad guys.
And now, you have an opinion on this, correct?
Can you go ahead and give me your opinion?
Well, I mean, I do think that this kind of came out of nowhere.
It seemed interestingly timed.
You know, when it was like a weekend surprise, you know, after the latest, I'm losing track of how many things are going wrong out there, but a bad week in which a couple of resignations were forced, things like that.
Suddenly, it's like, hey, here's a warhero we saved.
And I thought it was a little that the trade team is very stacked at best.
I mean, five Taliban leaders for one schmo that, you know, and it's also questionable about this guy walking off the base.
And numerous soldiers have been saying that he had a lot of rather negative comments to say about the whole enterprise over there.
And I don't think it should be there in the first place, which is probably surprising.
But if you're there and you're, you know, you're not supposed to walk up your posts and, you know, then make all sorts of weird comments disappear.
And the deaths risk their lives are going to kill looking for him.
And we're trading five people for him.
Okay, now, so that seems to be the problem with.
Now, it's gotten worse on the right.
They're calling his dad a Muslim and stuff like that.
And they're now going after us.
They're going after his family.
Joe Scarborough called his dad a bad father this morning.
I mean, so let me ask you this a question.
Do you think that this is proper to smear this guy in the press like this before he even hears his side of the story?
Like, I don't know, did you, did you, do you know if he was bipolar, if he had schizophrenia, or if he had a mental breakdown at war, or if he was on drugs?
Do you know any, so why he wandered off?
Do we know why he wandered off?
And do you think it's so we don't really, so do you think it's appropriate to make these statements before we hear from him and there's a trial or should we just go ahead and smear him?
I think it's fair to find out if there's something going on, but why was there such a rush to do this and against the tradition of you have the congressional approval on these things?
Okay, so I'll ask you again, do you think it's proper that we smear this guy in the press like this, left and right, making, you know, based on rumor?
There is no, we have no investigation to talk about.
There wasn't a trial.
We haven't even heard his side of the story.
So do you think it's so wait a minute?
So let me ask you the question again.
Do you think it's proper to smear this guy in the press like this?
He is a soldier.
Do you think that's proper or do you think it's improper or should we, or is this okay?
Oh, no.
I mean, I said that.
I think it's fair.
You're making a good point that maybe we should find out some more about what was going on.
So you think it's fair?
So you think it's fair to smear him in the press before we even hear from him?
I just said probably not.
Oh, probably not.
Okay.
I heard you said, oh, I thought you said the opposite.
I said you're making a good point.
You're making a fair point.
That's what I'm saying.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
All right, that was a mistake.
I'm sorry.
So, so are you a little outraged at the people who are smearing him in the press or no?
I don't know.
It just seems so suspicious, the whole thing.
Sorry.
I mean, even if he did it, even if something turns out to be, you know, I'll be more sympathetic if they do reveal that there was some more.
But until you hear the investigation, he's guilty.
To some extent on this one, yeah.
So that's horrible, Carl.
That's like the worst thing ever.
So you don't think that's bad to a serviceman?
You haven't heard his side of the story.
He hasn't had a trial, but you think it's okay to judge him as guilty.
Like the opposite of what this country's about.
Well, the bigger issue is still the trade.
I mean, why was the trade?
No, no, no, no.
Let's not change the subject yet.
We'll get to the trade later.
Right now, we're talking about people who are smearing the soldier, calling him a deserter.
We know nothing about what happened.
We know nothing.
We haven't even heard from this guy yet.
And don't you think the responsible thing would say, hey, he's a soldier.
He gets the benefit of the doubt.
And let's wait to see what the investigation turns up before we make a judgment.
Wouldn't that be the mature thing to do or not?
Yeah, sure, but it's still not the biggest issue here.
You don't think it's a big issue to smear a soldier?
It's a big issue.
It's not the biggest issue here.
music I'm Sandra Singlow for NPR.
Coming up Tuesday, part two of our three-part report about whether NPR has lost touch with the American people.
After that, Annie DeFranco will be performing several tracks from her new album, Inspired by Sudanese acapella stick music.
Music by Ben Thede.
Bye.
Bye.
So what's happening in Mississippi, Capital M ISS, ISSIPPI?
They're having a Senate race.
Thad Cochran, who's been in Congress for 42 years, is going up against a Tea Party challenger.
And in their primary, nobody got 50% of the vote.
So now he's going to go up against them again.
Here's the guy.
Here's the Tea Party challenger.
His name is McDaniels, and he's fantastic.
And it's Mississippi.
He's to the right of the current Republican senator in Mississippi.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
So here's, well, here's some of the great stuff that this McDaniel, who, by the way, won by, I think, half a percentage point.
So he's in the, they're going to have a runoff.
He didn't win.
He made the runoff.
Yeah.
So, but he was, he had the top, he was the top vote getter.
Yes.
That's what I mean.
So here's the kind of stuff he says that he's, you know, this is the kind of, this is, well, let's listen to what he has to say about Democrats.
What does our party that supports the homosexual agenda have to say about morals?
The party of sex on demand, the party of Bill Clinton, the product of Monica Lewinsky, the party of Ted Kennedy.
What do they have to say about morals?
Okay, so what?
It's okay.
We don't have to comment on it.
I think it's self-evident who this guy is.
I think we all know.
Yes.
Okay.
Sex on demand, by the way.
Where does that happen?
I've been in San Francisco.
It doesn't happen up there.
Where do you go for the sex on demand?
I don't know, but I'm going to start going to Democratic events more often if that is the case.
Sex on demand?
How do you not win every election?
That's your position?
I have sex on demand.
You should win every election if that's what they're really running on.
If the Democrats are running on sex on demand.
That's their platform.
They should.
Nice.
I mean, that's what HBO is built on, right?
Anyway, here we go.
Here's what Maury has to say.
Why don't we all immigrate South to Mexico?
See, Jeremy's with me.
You know, a daughter Bill can buy a mansion in Mexico.
Yeah, so he's not big on immigrants.
This is what he feels about.
Go figure.
Yeah, so go figure, right?
So here's more stuff.
Do we have to learn Spanish?
Yes.
Regarding my goal.
You'll have to learn just enough to ask where the bathroom is.
I'm still not.
That's what you say.
So you have a sister.
How do you say that in Spanish, Jeremy?
What about Mamasita?
Mama Sita works.
I'm an English-speaking Anglo.
I have no idea what it means, actually.
But I've said it a few times just for, you know, fun.
And I think it basically means, hey, hot mama.
You know, you're a fine-looking young thing.
Reparations.
And my taxes go up.
Oh, so now he's talking About reparations.
So now he jumped ahead.
And somehow they're talking about their people are going to get the blacks in America will get reparations, meaning they'll get paid for all the economic disadvantage that we leveled on them through slavery.
It wouldn't be slavery.
It would be direct reparations for slavery.
It will never happen.
It'll never happen.
It's like one of them, like it should happen, though.
It should happen, but even the people who are advocates for it know it's not going to happen.
It's a symbolic issue.
But people like McDaniel love it because they like to pretend it's a real issue.
They like to pretend it's a realistic.
So they can say, Blackie's coming for your money.
Coming for your money.
There you go.
Here we go.
Hey, paying taxes.
Isn't that sad?
Yeah, it's sad.
So he said that if they do pass reparations, he's going to stop paying taxes.
So that's the guy who just might win the Republican nominee for Senate in Mississippi, capital MIS.
And so to me, this is great, right?
I mean, I love the tea party because we had the guys talking about rape last year.
It was a cool thing.
What was his name?
Todd Aiken.
Todd Aiken.
So Todd, yeah, so this is going to be another Todd Aiken or a Mordon.
I remember the guy from Indiana had the same problem.
So they're again.
So this is going to be, and you know, this guy's against abortion in every situation, and they're just going to ask him about rape at some point.
And he's going to have to say something.
Let's see if we can get Haley Barber on the line to talk to us.
Hello, Haley.
Haley?
Haley Barber.
What's your favorite formal play?
Okay, listen.
Hey, Governor, it's Jimmy Dore.
How you doing, buddy?
Limbo, you pot-smoking homosexual weirdo.
How the hell are you?
I'm great, Governor.
You know, I'm not a homosexual, right?
What?
Yeah.
I'm not a homosexual, Governor.
Hold on.
You're killing me.
You live in California.
Right.
And you don't have sex with men all the time?
No, no, no, I don't have sex with men all the time.
Well, I'll be.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Listen, Governor, you had that primary happen in the big primary happen, and there's a big race between Thad Cochran and McDaniels, the Tea Party candidates.
Want to get your thoughts on it?
You would like a Japanese game show down here.
It is?
It's like a Japanese game show.
I wouldn't be surprised in the slides of a Chinaman and a diaper had to wrestle a maternal badger or something.
So you're currently, you have that Thad Cochrane is your tip.
That would do.
And he's, how old would you say he is?
Yeah, no one's exactly sure, but experts pull him, you know, 111 or so.
I'm pretty sure it's more like mid-70s.
I'm Haley Barber.
Okay.
Hey, there's a lot more to that Haley Barber call, but we don't have time for it in today's show.
We're already over, so you can get the rest of that, you know, in the premium content, the bonus content for the donators.
And all you have to do is swing over to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
It's $5 a month.
And it's the price of a cup of coffee that costs $5.
And you can get it even for $5 off for if you buy the year at one time.
I think I almost said that.
So if you want to get it for the whole year, instead of it being $60, just pay $55.
We saved you five bucks.
That way, isn't that nice?
So go over to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on premium, you make your donation.
We send you the passcode.
And if you've made your donation and you haven't gotten the code, please send me an email at jimmydoor at earthlink.net or at jimmy at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Okay, that was quite a show this week.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Big thanks to my friend Greg Hahn, who can be found at greghahn.com.
He's in Seattle at Laughs this weekend in Kirkland.
So go check him out and check him out.
He's always touring around the country.
Go to greghahn.com.
And of course, Carl Kozlowski, who can be found at radiotitans.com.
I do his show over there all the time.
It's a lot of fun.
He has a fun show.
Karl Kozlowski.
Big thanks to those guys.
Okay.
I want to give a shout out to a gentleman who donates his time and talent to make sure my Macintosh runs well.
And he can fix yours right over the internet.
His name is Sean James.
You can send him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com or give him a phone call at 347-695-0601.
Big thanks to Sean for all his help.
All the voices today perform by the one and only Mike McRae can be found at mikemcray.com.
And today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connet for Robert Yasamura, Mark Van Landuitt, Steph Samurano.
And let's see what else.
The voice of the announcer at the top of the show, that's Ron Lynch, our good buddy Ron Lynch.
And hey, if you pre-ordered your country is just not that into you yet, go ahead and do it.
There's a link over at JimmyDoorComedy.com for my new book, Your Country's Just Not That Into You.
It's available for pre-sale right now at Amazon.com.
And there's a link over at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
That's it for this week.
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