All Episodes
Previous Next
July 27, 2013 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:04:45
20130727_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_7-26-13
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
This week, Kate Middleton, wife of Prince William, gave birth to a baby.
This caused great excitement because the child is scheduled to be the king of England in 50 or 60 years.
I, for one, can hardly wait.
The prince is named George Alexander Lewis, and nobody really knows his last name, kind of like Prince.
People are obsessing about the significance of those names, but William and Kate knew they couldn't go with Jake or Seth.
Prince George is the Duke of Cambridge, which probably means nothing even to people who live in Cambridge.
To me, he looks a lot like the new Pope.
It's just a big relief knowing who will be the king of England after I'm dead.
Of course, many were disappointed that Kate didn't have a girl, though I don't think producing a future queen would have been all that much of a breakthrough.
All the stories written about Kate Middleton are really the same story.
But she's a savvy, stylish young woman with an impeccable sense of fashion, which no heterosexual man could care less about.
Her elevation to Princess is supposed to be a triumph for a commoner, but I think it's more of a triumph for William not having to marry somebody he was related to.
It's funny to think nobody will ever ask Prince George what he wants to be when he grows up.
Being heir to the throne is like being vice president your whole life.
Charles has been waiting 64 years to become king.
Then the day he does take the throne, he'll say, hey, Ma, look at me, I'm the king.
Huh?
It's the Jimmy Dore show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-lovered lacties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you too.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Wow, hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joined in the studio to my right host of Comedy Everything Else, our resident Latina.
It's Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Hello, Jim.
Okay.
Okay, that was it.
Usually she announces her ethnicity.
Oh, I am Mexican.
All right.
Good to see you.
Across the glass from me, and from across the pond, it's hilarious comedian Matt Kershin is here.
Hi, Matt.
How are you?
I'm very good.
I'm across from a pond.
Yeah, yeah.
I like saying that when people, that's how people say when people are from England, right?
They say across the pond.
Yeah.
I like saying that.
But we've seen you on Last Comic Standing.
We've seen you on Craig Ferguson's show, Jimmy Fallon's show, and now you're on the Jimmy Door show.
So you're moving up.
It's going well.
It's very exciting.
You know, we're going to talk about the royal baby, so I had to bring out a Brit, okay?
So that's what's going on.
Next to him, hilarious comedian.
Are you British?
I am.
I am a royal baby.
Okay, I thought maybe you were Australian.
Would you think that was an Italian accent?
Are you kidding me?
I heard like hints of Australian maybe in there.
Oh, shrimp on the ball beat.
That's Robert Yasamura, hilarious comedian.
Hi, Robert.
How are you?
I'm good, and evidently I have an ear for accents.
Well, the Japanese, they're always, they were good impressionists.
Across from him, a former writer for the Daily Show.
You heard him at the top of the show.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hi, Steve.
How are you?
Hey, Jimmy.
It's great to be here.
It's good to have you, Steve.
Thanks for showering.
I'll try anything once.
Let's get to the.
Joe's on the phone.
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't say.
Who's on the phone all the way from New York City and Mystery Science Theater 3000?
It's TV's Frank.
Frank Conniff is with us.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hello there.
All right.
All right.
Not this week, Frank.
Not this week.
Not this week.
Oh, okay.
Let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, the royal baby is born, huh?
Yes, the royal baby.
Baby is a real prodigy, I would have to say.
And only one day old and already fulfilling his destiny by making no contribution to society whatsoever.
Already a lieutenant in the Royal Navy.
Hey, really?
That's the way that works.
Hey, let's respect.
Quite a boost.
It is.
Let's respect the fact that the royal baby is very important to people who have no concept of what is important or not, okay?
And then, you know what?
You know, Frank, this whole thing, let's talk about Anthony Weiner.
Let's talk about, you know, Frank.
Frank, have you ever tweeted anything?
Have you ever had political aspirations or tweeted anything?
Tell me about it.
Well, when I was younger, you know, there was no internet, and so it was impossible to tweet your penis.
So Korean politics just seemed implausible.
Yeah, it does.
It makes sense, Frank.
You know what else makes sense?
Everybody was making fun of Anthony Weiner's silly name, so he changed it to Carlos Danger.
Very, very nice.
You know, Weiner said he's put his weird behavior behind him, and I know this is true because he wrote this is behind me on his cock, took a picture of it, and then tweeted it to me.
So I know he's serious about that.
By the way, did you know that New York Times parted ways with Nate Silver?
Nate Silver, famous for correctly predicting the elections.
Right.
And we only knew the elections were coming.
Yeah.
So they got rid of him.
He's the mathematician.
He's the mathematician.
ESPN picked him up.
He's going to be their resident mathematician.
And by the way, the New York Times editor said it worked out for them because Nate Silver didn't fit in at the New York Times, you know, because with Maureen Dowd, David Brooks, Thomas Friedman, he just couldn't respect the guy who got stuff right.
Yeah.
It took a while to get to that joke, but we got there.
Hey, by the way, I didn't go to any Trayvon rallies or anything, but I did hear that most of the Trayvon rallies were peaceful and nonviolent, which is the perfect reason for George Zimmerman to stalk and shoot them.
And by the way, Helen Thomas died.
Famous reporter, Howland Thomas died, and she's dead.
She's been dead now for a couple of days and still a better reporter than most of the White House.
Still.
All right, coming up on today's show, we're going to talk about the baby's birth and how much we don't give a shit about it.
That's how much we're going to talk about it.
Plus, there's some racism happening over at Fox.
And Joe Scarborough is shocked.
Joe Scarborough is shocked.
Plus, Pat Robertson has some advice.
If you don't have enough money to bury your dead mother, he's going to give you some advice.
Plus, Anthony Ween is named it Weena.
We're going to talk about that.
Let me see what else we got.
Oh, Representative Steve King from Iowa.
Oh, this guy is.
Oh, friend of the show.
Friend of the show had some bad stuff to say about Mexicans.
We're going to talk about that.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Bill O'Reilly.
Steve King calls in.
Tuesdays with moron.
Oh, God.
And there's one more.
I can't think of it, but we'll get to it.
That's coming up.
Louis Golemer.
And today, didn't get to Louis Gomer.
And today's Jimmy Dore Show.
This portion of the Jimmy Door show brought to you by Johnson's Johnsons.
Need a better Johnson that is sure to please the ladies?
Try on a Johnson's Johnsons for size.
Oh, yeah.
That'll do the trick.
Johnson's Johnsons.
He'll stop laughing and pointing and start yelping for more.
Okay, first up, let's go ahead and tackle the big issue first.
We had a baby born.
We had a baby born.
Let's get to the important stuff.
Now, Matt, you were on the web series earlier this week, and you made some good points.
Now, we were talking about the baby's birth, and you came up with a thing I had, because I was making the point that in America, you know, we don't have royalty, so we treat our president like they're the king and queen, the president, which is a bad thing, I think.
You were saying, what were you saying?
Well, I think, like, here's my thing.
Like, instinctively, like, my gut feeling is royalty badge shouldn't exist.
And, like, because here's the point, like, in America, the royals are just a celebrity family, but it's our head of state.
Like, it's in charge of our company.
This celebrity family from the glossy magazines, the TV show is in charge.
Like, imagine if you had to bow to the Kardashians.
Yes, right.
Right.
And not, not, not, not, like, not the Kardashians we know.
Imagine if Kardashians only mated with other Kardashians for centuries.
And, like, after hundreds of years of Kardashian inbreeding, whatever.
Kardashian was on the money.
Like, that's the situation we have.
Like, so my gut feeling is despicable, ridiculous.
The situation shouldn't happen.
And then I came to America, and then I realized how important the royal family is as an institution.
Because in America, there's this feeling that this thing you're told that anyone could be president.
Yes.
So everyone has that aspiration, that hope.
Whereas in Britain, we know that you will never be king.
You will never ever be king.
So we just try and claw as much of it as we can back from those bastards.
So that's why we have a welfare state.
We have health care.
Yeah, you're making the point that because there's that, the royal family, the monarchy, you guys have all this other stuff that you try to claw back because you know you're never going to be ascending to the throne.
Sheer class hatred keeps Britain a bit more equal.
Yes.
And I just think it's unfair that it should be those people, that family.
Like, that's not right.
Like, I don't think that baby.
By the way, like, already there's a baby that's three days old and is legally better than me.
Like, legally more important than me in every way.
But I don't think it's fair that like that innocent baby.
Like, I know people who've met Prince William and say he's a lovely man.
He's he's modest and kind-hearted and works hard.
Like, he shouldn't be born into the level of hatred I hold for him.
Dumb luck.
Yeah, right?
It's not fair.
It's not fair on them.
We should keep the royal family, but maybe replace those people with like a family of feral pigeons.
I go, that is the royal family.
Everyone bow to that and we'll be so furious that that lives in a castle and has a crown that we will vote for our rights.
Yeah.
Hopefully.
I would take the health care.
All that other crap.
Just give me the health care.
You know what I'll take is that we're going to take a look at how the media here in the United States was covering, well, just a couple of clips.
Here's how CNN, I was watching CNN, and they had this woman on.
And by the way, people, if you noticed, during this event, I'll call it an event, a news event, that they would have people come on to talk about it, about the royal family and the baby and Kate.
And what it would say on the cryon underneath their face would be like their credential was royal expert.
You know?
And you're like, what?
This is what you do.
This is your title?
So anyway, so here's one of these royal experts.
Her name is Victoria.
Of course it was.
Of course.
You know, where I come from, somebody called you a royal expert.
That was an insult.
So here is on CNN I'm watching and they're making such a big deal.
She just had, as far as I'm concerned, she just had a baby like everyone has a baby, right?
It's not a big deal.
And half the women in the world have boys and the other half have girls.
Royal Expert is too nerdy for Comic-Con.
Like, that's way too into the weeds for even, like...
Yeah, well, I heard when Richard Simmons called the royal expert gay, he says that's a little gay.
I was like, really, Richard?
Okay, so here is, is Richard Simmons famous in England?
People know who he is?
Only like from a secondary point of view.
Like none of his stuff was on TV, but he's referenced in so many things.
Oh, okay.
But you might go, oh, from that Simpsons episode that Richard Simmons was on.
Also, in England, being gay is so out of the mill that nobody.
Okay, so here's our correspondent, our royal expert, and here's what she had to say about it.
You're so exciting.
Just first, your reaction, Victoria.
Oh, I was just thrilled.
I mean, I can't believe She just I can't believe she had a baby.
It's funny already, right?
It came out the right hole and everything.
All right, here we go.
So my first thought I have to say was, this is how brilliant a royal Kate is.
There are women throughout British royal family history that have panicked over not being able to deliver a boy.
And here we are.
Kate did it first time.
Oh, isn't she brilliant?
And what are the chances of her having a boy?
I don't know.
50-50?
Long odds.
Who was Philip King?
Henry VIII?
I mean, it's unbelievable.
She's brilliant because she had a boy.
Let me tell you something.
My mom gave birth to seven boys.
Never read a book.
Never read a book.
There's not a lot of brilliance involved in Procreates a chemical reaction.
It's so unusual, too, to hear a British person use the word brilliantly so nonchalantly.
That's really unfollowing that, Frank.
And the birth of the royal heir is very important because that's the last thing he'll ever have to do for the rest of his life.
He's home free.
Yeah.
What do I have to do?
Be born.
Oh, that's it?
Yep.
That's it.
I think it's funny how she says, previous women have panicked.
No shit.
They were killed.
Yeah.
Because they would kill them.
You killed them dead.
He used to behead them.
It's brilliant.
brilliant.
To be fair, by the way, you said they don't have to do any work, but those royals have to be guest of honor at a lot of events.
Yes, they actually do.
Going to parties and dinners can take it out of you.
Actually, to be a tie a tie, to be honest.
To be fair, like the level of noblesse oblige that's laid on those guys is pretty substantial.
Like they're expected to, I mean, all the royals are expected to achieve at a pretty high level.
Achieve what?
Both boys are in the military and have done very well, like are expected to work really hard.
Well, you say you've done very well, but like they automatically become like captains.
Like that's the rule.
They have to go through office for training.
They're expected to.
I mean, they oversees the Prince's Trust.
I mean, they actually have to do stuff.
I mean, dress up like Hitler.
Dress up, there's that.
Oh, my God.
I had no idea that Robert was a royal expert, too.
Robert is a royal expert.
William's a helicopter pilot.
He's not a lightweight.
He knows how to do something I certainly don't know how to do.
Is he going to be in a mass unit now?
Yes.
They're the only people, too, in the world who, when someone says, Oh, excuse me, your majesty.
Laughter.
So here's some more news coverage.
So then they were talking about the news people.
Here we are.
I'll just play it because all the news people went to the hospital they were staying at.
And watch how that Kate and what's the prince's name?
William.
William outsmarted, outsmarted them.
But William and Kate arrived so stealthily, none of the scores of photographers who camped out for days got them going in the back entrance.
Oh!
How did they come up with it?
Did they call James Bond to come up with that plan?
How stupid is the British press corps?
Are they like, oh, they didn't send one guy around the back?
Wait a minute.
It says entrance right here.
What are they doing going around back?
Their entrance is in the front.
That's for deliveries.
Yeah, the last thing that they want.
They can only do that once, though.
The next child.
They're going to have to find another hospital, I think.
Yeah, you know, if the press, they sure they got fooled, but if they were any smarter, they'd already know that the royal family is horseshit.
Let's hope they never find out.
So they went around back.
They got her out away from the press, and they did another maneuver.
What's the other maneuver they did?
There it is.
No one wants to be photographed mid-contraction.
So I think they did it very, very cleverly.
They actually switched cars.
They switched cars.
They switched.
How brilliant to take one of their other 800 cars that they could then drive.
You know, I also heard Kate wore sunglasses and a hat.
These guys, they're regular Cluseau, these guys.
Yeah, you know, also, Kate is so elegant that when her water broke, it was Perrier water.
One more stealth.
They had one more stealthy little thing they did.
When they checked in, she went into under an assumed name.
It was Ida Queen.
Kind of an inside joke.
I can't believe it.
They're already nicknamed the baby Sir Schitzelot.
They changed.
They went in the back door and they changed cars.
These guys are brilliant.
The next thing you're going to tell me is they used a totally different, mediocre, white, pregnant British woman as a decoy.
Very clever.
Okay.
By the way, my favorite thing about that was that they were like, we didn't figure out the name.
Like for a day or two, I was like, what?
There's only like six Anglo-Saxon names that have ever been used ever to do this.
Just like the big spinning wheel hadn't been constructed yet.
What's the, what's the, what's the kid's name again?
George George.
George Simmerman.
George Michael.
Herbert Walker.
Bush.
All right.
Well, that's great.
He's got a great name then.
So the Republicans have been scrambling.
Reince Priebus said they're doing an outreach to people.
They're trying to get minorities to vote for them.
They're trying to not sound like such a-holes all the time to people who aren't white and heterosexual.
And so Steve King, he's a right-wing Republican from Iowa.
He's always pretty vocal, says a lot of incendiary things.
He sat down and they asked him, why is he against the comprehensive immigration reform?
Because he's against it.
And well, let's just listen to some of the stuff he had to say.
It doesn't mean that there aren't groups of people in this country.
Oh, okay.
So, all right, hang on.
That, you know, that I have sympathy for.
I do.
And there are kids that were brought into this country by their parents unknowing that they were breaking the law.
And they will say to me and others who defend the rule of law.
Yeah, sure, they were brought here by their parents, but you'd be amazed how many Mexican babies illegally crawled into this country.
Yeah.
So here we go.
Here's more.
They will say to me and others who defend the rule of law, we have to do something about the 11 million.
And some of them are valedictorians.
Well, my answer to that is, and by the way, their parents brought them in.
It wasn't their fault.
It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians.
They're not all valedictors.
Sure, some of them can read.
Some of them can read, but most of them, most of them, ready?
Weren't all brought in by their parents.
For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.
Those people are.
How does he know the actual weight of the marijuana?
I wonder about that.
I think they sound rather fit.
They've got Sprink.
They've got calves the side of cantaloupes.
They're 130 pounds.
They've got calves the side of cantaloupes because they're hauling 70 pounds of marijuana.
That's why.
You know, when I lived in L.A. and I used to go to the Home Depot parking lot, I just noticed, like, I would just say, man, those Mexicans are so buff.
I so envy them.
Yes.
Yes.
So he's saying for every one good Mexican, there are 100 bad ones.
A statistic based on his need to make shit up about Mexicans.
Right?
Mexicans.
Look it up.
All of those bad Mexicans all in one car.
I'm surprised he didn't call them mostly banditos.
I like the way the Mexicans in L.A. cover up their obvious drug running by living in abject poverty.
Sneaky.
They're hiding their money.
Sure, they have calves the size of cantaloupes, and some of them have cantaloupes the size of watermelons.
I don't trust any of them.
I don't trust any of them.
I'm sorry, I can't tell the innocent.
So then they ask him, they ask him, you know, What do you do?
So there's good ones and there's bad ones.
They're legalized with the same act.
And until the folks that want to open the borders and grant this amnesty can define the difference between the innocent ones who have deep ties with America and those who have been, I'll say, undermining our culture and civilization and profiting from criminals.
Our civilization.
That's a lot.
Is he talking about the bankers?
He said until he's talking about the nights, right?
The Indians.
The Aztecs?
I think he's talking about the Comanches.
Yes.
There we go.
Can define that difference.
They should not advocate for amnesty for both good and evil.
So he says, until you can come up with a system that differentiates between the good Mexicans and the bad ones, I'm against immigration reform.
So the guy asked him the obvious question.
And how would you recommend separating the good from the bad?
I suggested it can't be done.
You could round them up.
That's one thing.
Are we saying adios to the valedictorian?
So I'm guessing, so I guess no, there'll never be immigration reform because there's no, it can't be done.
We can never tell the good Mexicans from the bad ones.
So that's it.
Never going to have immigration reform.
I mean, if the Condale fly thing is true, surely just a centrifuge.
Oh, you need to separate them.
Ah, okay.
Maybe if they, if they're, if their calves really are like cantaloupes, maybe they can all be in Gallagher's acts.
I know some views that could be in Galica's activity.
You know, that entire thing was wrong on overt and subtle ways.
I mean, when he like he says, like, when people say to me, you know, and people like me who protect the rule of law, it's like, whoa!
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
That's the way you're going to portray yourself?
That there are straw men out there who speak to you, a protector of the rule of law, unlike everybody else who goes into public service.
So here I got, I think I have.
Jimmy, I'm sorry.
I'm just sitting here trying to figure out if I'm one of the good ones.
Look at no way to tell.
Look at the legs.
Look at the way to tell.
Let me see.
Do you have cantaloupes down there?
Yes.
Those look like a couple.
Steph, you're a teacher at school, but I don't think you're any kind of Alec Victoria.
No, no, no.
I mean, I look at her caps, Frank.
She's got a couple of bananas maybe in there.
That's it.
Mostly.
Mostly.
I think we have Representative Peter King.
We have him on Steve King.
We got him on the line.
Hello, Representative.
I want to ask you about your comments you made about Mexicans and immigration.
Are you there?
No problem at all, Jimmy.
I'm not anti-immigrant.
I'm turning law enforcement, Jimmy, and that's a big difference.
Hey, what's that noise in the background?
Oh, that's some Mexicans doing some yard work.
Oh, in my yard.
Yeah.
Well, see, this is what I'm talking about, Steve.
A lot of immigrants come here to do work in America.
They do hard labor jobs because there aren't any jobs in the country where they're coming from, so they come here and work really hard.
Well, Timmy, for every one of them cotton lawns, I can show you 100 of them out there at about 135 pounds with fingers like pickles.
What?
What?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about, Dave?
That's right.
Fingers like pickles from other Americans they've been picking.
Is that a bait?
Did you kill someone or do you have a baby over there?
Yeah, that's my granddaughter.
Oh, really?
Her nanny, Consuela, just dropped her by.
Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about.
So now you have a nanny that's Mexican.
It's another example of Mexicans doing hard work or raising other people.
Everyone babysitting my kid.
No, don't.
There are a hundred of them out there with tits like zucchini.
No!
What?
I don't.
That doesn't make any sense.
What do you mean they have they have tits like zucchini?
Why would they have tits like zucchinis?
I'm tying bags of cocaine to them.
Oh.
Smuggling them under their clothes across the border.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, you know, you know, Steve, illegal immigrants also join our armed forces.
You know, for every one of these immigrants that joins the military.
No, don't.
Come on.
I can show you a hundred of them that weigh around 140, 142 pounds with testicles like watermelons.
Why would they have Steve?
Why would they have testicles like water?
How do you get that?
Well, from what?
From having to lie to the border agent when you're smuggling drugs across the border.
That gives you a straight face lie to a border patrol agent like that.
Oh, okay.
I got you.
All right.
Hey, Jimmy, I've got a question for you.
Oh, sure.
Shoot, go ahead.
No problem.
Have you checked your wife's anus for drugs?
No, I haven't checked my wife's.
No!
Why would I want?
What are you saying?
I heard she's Mexican.
Yes.
And I'm just saying if she wasn't a valedictorian or a rocket scientist, she most likely has a kilo of horse in her asshole.
What?
That is so ridiculous.
I don't even know what to say to that.
By the way, how did that happen?
How did what happen?
A good fella, look, good white fella like you marrying a Tijuana prostitute turned drug smuggler.
What?
Tijuana.
What are you saying?
What do you stop it?
Did she tell you she was pregnant?
No, she didn't tell me.
Was that it?
No, she didn't.
Yeah, sure, she's pregnant.
Pregnant with drugs, Jimmy.
You get a baby kicking in there, man.
It's a little chibba, nose candy, the black nag, the back monkey sauce, man.
What are you talking about?
Are these names for drugs?
Is that what this is?
I'm just saying to all the young men out there, sure, it's fun to have sex secretly with some chick who doesn't speak English.
We've all done it.
But we're rubbers, dudes.
Okay.
What is your advice?
Yeah,'cause otherwise Your juices mingle with their juices and then make a baby.
Uh-huh.
And I'll tell you what, Jimmy.
When a baby comes out, it's already smuggling drugs.
What?
No one ever thinks to check the butthole of a baby in utero.
No.
But they should.
They should.
Why?
And all of that is why my great state of Iowa is overrun by Mexicans and drugs.
Point made.
Okay.
All right.
All right, you bunch of race traitors.
I got to get out of here.
Okay, that was Representative Steve King from Iowa.
Thank you for joining us.
Wow, he's a little shocking.
Okay, I hope you're enjoying the show.
It only gets better in the second half.
We got Jay Leno calls in in the second half, Bill O'Reilly, and a lot more.
But right now, I'd let you know that this is the show.
This show is made possible by the generous Support of our listeners.
There's lots of ways to do it.
Right now, I want to let you know the easiest ways to use our Amazon.com box the next time you buy something from Amazon.com.
It really helps support the show.
All you have to do is you go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on our Amazon.com box.
It takes you to Amazon.com.
And the next time you buy something, boom, they send us some money.
It's just that simple.
Doesn't cost you anything.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon.com, but it sure does help support our show.
So the next time you want to buy something from Amazon, remember, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
You click on our Amazon.com box.
You buy something, they send us money.
It's just that simple.
And you don't have to go to our website every time you buy something from Amazon.
You just go one time.
You click on our box when it takes you to Amazon.com.
You bookmark it.
That's right.
You bookmark it.
So the next time you go back there, you just use your bookmark.
It's a really easy way to help support the show.
It doesn't cost you anything.
Doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon.com one bit, but it sure does help support us.
And thanks to everybody who's used it before and continues to use it.
It really helps support the show.
Okay, there's two other ways you can help support the show.
We'll let you know about it later on.
right now let's get back to the second half of the show music Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in the studio by Steph Semurano, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, and by Matt Kershan, our hilarious comedian from The Cross the Pond.
Also with us, former writer from the Daily Show.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
And on the phone from New York City and Mystery Science Theater 3000, it's TV's Frank, Frank Coniff, also hilarious comedian from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
We got phone calls coming up in the second half from Bill O'Reilly and Tuesdays with Moron.
Let's get back to the studio.
On the phone right now, I have the host of the tonight show.
Hey, Jimmy, how are you doing, Stacey?
Hang on a second.
Love it already.
Hey, how are you?
How are you, Jay?
Good to have you.
Jimmy, how you doing, Stay Wieno?
Hey, Jay.
I just wanted to, have you been following the?
I'm doing good, Jay.
Jimmy, did you see the paper?
Did I see the paper?
You know, I don't actually read the paper, Jay.
I just actually, I go to the internet and no, I didn't see the paper.
I just, I'm trying to tell you that I read stuff on the internet and I watched the Anthony Weiner.
Yes, I know.
His name is Weener.
Did you see what happened with Weena?
Yes.
Yes, I saw.
Jay, I saw what happened with Anthony Weiner.
Listen, how did you find out about it?
Did you, what were you?
I was in the garage working on a car.
She said, Jay, did you see the paper?
I thought he said, yes, I know that his name is Weiner, Jay.
His name is Weener.
Yes, Jay, I get the joke.
It's a double entente.
It's just writing his name.
His name says Weener writes.
Ween is his name.
His name is Weener.
Jay, I know.
Jay, I get it.
Can we talk about, listen, I wanted to talk about some other maybe aspects of the case?
Like, so now, how does this affect the comedy?
His name is Weener.
I know.
His name is Weena.
Jimmy's friend, his neighbor.
I said Mavis.
Yeah.
She said, Jay, did he see the paper?
No.
And then.
And then what did you say back?
I looked at the paper.
And what happened when you look at the paper?
His name is Weener.
Okay.
Jay, I get it.
Listen, Jay.
It's his name.
I know it's in his name.
I get it.
But his name is Weena.
I know.
I know.
I'm telling you, Jimmy, I look at the paper.
The paper says his name is Wiener.
Okay, Jay, listen, we got to get it.
All right, goodbye, Jay.
That was Jay Leto, ladies and gentlemen.
What a coup.
Wow, he is crazy.
He seems to have made a connection between the ex-congressman's name and the situation.
Oh, my God.
I just got it.
I just got it.
See, Matt, his name is Wiener.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
D-O-R-E Okay, so I was on the internet the other day and I saw Joe Scarborough got mad.
You know, Joe Scarborough, he hosts Morning Joe on the liberal channel, MSNBC.
Why do you watch that show?
So why do I do?
I like to watch that.
I'm a late, late night owl, and it comes on really early in Los Angeles, like at 3 in the morning morning.
Joe comes on.
And I like to fly to a rage before bed.
Yeah.
I'm not sleeping wink.
I like to go to bed angry, is what I tell people.
And so here he is, and he's talking about he's upset with what's happening.
Well, about how certain people are reacting to the Trayvon Martin verdict.
And let's just go ahead.
Here we are.
Now it's the opposite.
It seems, and what's depressing is this isn't confined to the far-right talk show radio hosts who generally, I mean, Sean Hannity has been ginning this up so badly.
Now he's referring to the Trayvon Martin and the racist overtones in the case.
And he's saying it's not just the far-right wackos.
It's mainstream conservatives like Sean.
Hannity has been ginning this up so badly that Michael Savage, Michael Savage, has been saying that he has been irresponsible and that he is using race to gin up his ratings in a way that's bad for America.
That is how extreme Sean Hannity's position's been.
But this is where we find ourselves today, Gene, in 2013, that now young African-American males are presumed guilty because of larger societal trends.
We've turned this on its ear, and now we're being told, and we're reading in the Washington Post, and we're reading in the Wall Street Journal that African-American men are to be presumed guilty if they're wearing the wrong things.
Okay, so now, so that's Joe Scarborough.
So that's Joe Scarborough.
And at first, I'm like, hey, good for Joe Scarborough.
Right?
He finally got it right.
He finally figured out this Trayvon Martin case.
And he finally figured out that the Wall Street Journal has got their head up their ass about this whole hoodie thing.
It's like even a guy like Joe Scarborough, who gets almost everything wrong, is getting this right.
Okay.
And then I thought about it a little bit more.
First of all, you know, the wheels have come off when Joe Scarborough is the voice of reason.
I don't want to live in that world.
And it's weird, though.
So, and I started to think about that.
I'm like, really, Joe?
He's acting like he just woke up yesterday and he was like, hey, what's going on over at Fox?
What are they Normally reasonable, mainstream.
Are they race baiting?
Wait a minute.
Is he ginning up?
Is he playing on racial tensions and people's preconceived notions and fears to get ratings and make money over at Fox?
What do you say, Frank?
I say that Joe Scarborough does relate to black people because he treats Mika the way Ike Turner treated him.
Well, I just think it's weird because I've been, you know, so that's the thing.
I'm like, really, Joe, this is the thing?
It took the Trayvon Martin case for you to realize what these guys have been.
Shirley Sherrod didn't make you realize what was happening.
Acorn.
Acorn, the fact that they've been asking Barack Obama for his birth certificate since the day he was elected.
Even the nominee of your party, Mitt Romney, said nobody ever asked me for money.
He stands on stage with race baiters like Donald Trump.
And it's just now dawning on you because of the Trayvon Martin thing that, hey, they might be a little racebaity over at this is really.
Go ahead.
If Scarborough was a pundit in the 1800s, he was at the end of the Civil War.
He'd be saying, you know, I think there's a racial element to this whole thing.
Yes.
Yes.
So that's, so that's what's what.
And the weird thing is, it's like Paula Dean gets nailed for this.
You know what I mean?
It's like, yeah, it's okay for Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly and everybody on the five and Fox and Friends to race bait, but Paula Dean's prejudice could have ruined everyone's dessert.
Just can't have that.
And you can't have that.
So that's what I'm like, really?
Joe, your party is now actively in the light of day in public trying to suppress the vote and disenfranchise black and Hispanic voters.
Actively doing that, passing laws, racist laws to deny liberty and freedom and the right to vote, the thing we hold most dear in the United States from people whose skin is darker than yours.
You're just realizing now because of Trayvon Martin, your whole goddamn party, Joe, is literally implementing racist laws to deny the vote to people.
And it's the Sean Hannity talk that got you going crazy.
This is what set you off.
By the way, he was a congressman.
Scarborough was a congressman.
And he's this clueless.
And he's this clueless as to the racial press.
From Florida.
He's a congressman from Florida.
Right.
And he was alive through two incarnations of the Southern strategy.
Exactly.
And now you're just waking up to show.
Really?
Exactly.
The last two chairmen of the Republican Party has apologized for the Southern strategy.
And Joe Scarborough, what?
Is there something happening?
I just turned on Sean Hannity.
You're not going to believe what's going on over there.
And I always get the Southern strategy and the Dixie chicks mixed up.
I can tell you what is that.
The Southern Strategy had a couple of good albums.
What was the Southern Strategy?
The Southern Strategy was implemented by Nixon.
So after They passed the civil rights legislation in the late 60s.
The South, which is very heavily racist, what they did was they all switched from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party.
So, what Nixon did was he tried to play up those racial fears and tensions of white people to get them to vote because Democrats are for blackie, right?
So, you don't want to be for blackie.
So, then they all switched to the Republican.
That's called one of the architects of Nixon's strategy was Pat Buchanan.
Pat Buchanan, sure.
Pintel recently was one of the most ubiquitous pundits on MSNBC.
And for years, people on MSNBC were talking about how racist Glenn Beck is.
Yes.
In the meantime, they had Pat Buchanan on almost every show.
And they finally fired Pat Buchanan after he wrote some stuff that was even too racist.
Yeah, his last book was all about how it's a crisis that America is becoming less white.
Yes.
And it's a crisis, but it's true that that's happening.
And it actually is really hurting the Republicans.
But he's not enough.
He portrayed it in his last book as like this is a horrible thing.
We need more white people.
Yeah, that is exactly what he did.
And he did much darker stuff than that.
But you are correct.
Yeah, for years, for years before that, in almost every column he ever wrote, you know, there was a ton of hate speech.
And this is one of the most, and still, probably behind the scenes, one of the most respected people in Washington, D.C. Yeah, most liked and respected.
And so Joe Scarborough's all up and he's got his, he's all upset about.
Go ahead.
I was going to say, I mean, to be fair, he is absolutely right.
Like, if you spend generations repeatedly suppressing and being prejudiced against and racist towards an entire segment of the population, it is absolutely a tragedy if they start to gain numbers.
Like, it is a terrible thing for you.
I'd be scared too.
Yes, yes.
You have a better perspective, I think, on this than certainly we do.
So here's Bill O'Reilly.
Okay.
So not even Bill O'Reilly.
I'm going to play you.
Here's a bunch of people on Fox because Barack Obama came out last Friday and he gave a speech.
He did not.
He is liberal.
Not in a sexual way, but he gave a speech about the Trayvon Martin thing that was a lot of people said was very balanced.
Of course, of course it is.
Barack Obama said it.
He's not going to stick his neck out.
But he did say something, right?
And people applauded that it was, it struck the right tone and he was able to show comfort and concern for the thing.
And Fox News didn't take well to that.
Didn't take well to that.
Don't blame Whitey.
Don't blame Whitey for their trouble because that's the whole thing.
So the whole thing is, you're blaming Whitey.
Don't blame us.
It's not our problem that you guys are screwed up.
Well, here's what they say.
We'll start it off with Bill O'Reilly.
Here's the headline: Young black men commit homicides at a rate 10 times greater than whites and Hispanics combined.
Here's an inconvenient fact: anytime there's interracial crime, there's an overwhelming chance that the victim is going to be white and that the criminal is going to be black.
When you look at the crime numbers, African Americans, this is astonishing.
African Americans make up 13% of the population, but commit more than half the murders in this country.
That's not.
Yes.
Okay, I'm convinced.
So what they're saying is President Obama, because President Obama told stories about when he was a young black guy walking across the street, white people locking their doors, right, in their cars, and that feeling he gets when a white woman clutches her purse in an elevator when he got on.
That feel, that whole thing, he knows what that's like, are being tailed inside of a store.
So what the guys at Fox News are saying, yeah, well, the reason we do that is because you guys are criminals.
That's what they're saying.
They're saying, yes, black guys are criminals.
That's why we do this stuff, you guys.
You guys are criminals, and we just pointed it out to you with statistics.
Now, I was watching, but that's what that is, right, Frank?
Well, you know, so they're saying, you know, because of these statistics, if an affable-looking Harvard law professor walks by, you'd better be afraid.
Yes.
Yes.
So they're saying we're right to be pregnant.
They're using statistics to justify prejudice.
Are they not doing that?
Yes, absolutely.
Okay.
Okay.
So that says, so that is what's happening.
Yes.
And yet Paula Dean lost her show, right?
Paula Dean loses her show.
Yet Barbara Boxer is still going to go on Fox and Friends this Sunday, right?
Okay.
And also, you know, at least, you know, the difference between Fox and Paula Dean is at least after I watch Paula Dean being racist, I at least have a good recipe for macaroni and cheese.
Almost worse.
So I was watching Stephen Colbert.
And, you know, I've never done this before on the show.
I've never played somebody else's comedy bit.
But I'm going to play this one because it's perk.
Because I was like, well, I got to write my own bit about this.
And I'm like, you know, Stephen Colbert pretty, he nailed it.
So this is about, I don't know, about a minute, 45 seconds to a minute of Stephen Colbert responding to all the pundits on Fox News saying that, of course, we're afraid of black people.
They commit all the crimes.
And here's how Stephen Colbert handled it.
Murders in this country.
That's not prejudice.
That's just math.
Okay.
So if in 2011.
So he gets out a little calculator.
Out of 42 million African Americans, 4,149 were arrested for murder, which means we can reasonably be scared of nine one-thousandths of one percent of African Americans.
Now, so he's nine one-thousandths of one percent of African Americans were arrested for murder last year.
Yes.
Doesn't sound like a lot.
Until you consider that we don't know which nine one-thousandths of one percent.
So to be safe, we have to be scared of all of them.
Folks, it's the same reason.
Folks, this is the same reason I assume all Arabs are terrorists and all Irishmen are leprechauns.
I'm going to get your pot of gold, Daniel Day-Lewis.
Now, I know what you're saying.
You're saying.
Okay, so we got it.
So that's it.
So that was Fox News saying, look at all these black murderers and killers and all this stuff.
And Stephen Colbert kind of puts it in a real, so Stephen Colbert, the comedian, puts it in the proper frame.
Unlike all those news people, including Chris Wallace, who I'm sorry, people say, oh, he's a straight newsman.
Chris Wallace is a racebaiter.
He race baited with Shirley Sherrod.
He's race baiting with those statistics.
And if he doesn't know what he's doing is race baiting, if he doesn't know those statistics, the way he's presenting them are skewed, incendiary, and prejudiced, then he's not a good enough.
He's not a good newsman.
He's a horrible newsman.
He should be fired for that, for being that bad, for not knowing what he's doing.
But he does know what he's doing, and he doesn't care.
You think Mitt Romney cared that he race baited?
You think these guys care that they're suppressing the vote?
These guys don't care.
Yet, David Gregory will treat them.
David Gregory will treat them as if both sides do it.
Both sides do it.
Right.
Okay, on the line, we have Bill O'Reilly is joining us on the line.
Bill, you know what?
I saw your rant that you did on Monday after about responding to Barack Obama's speech on Trayvon Martin.
And I just want to know, why do you think that you get away with your racism?
And Paula Dean, who's much more innocuous, got totally nailed for her racism.
Why is that?
She's not good at it, Jimmy.
What do you think?
Well, what do you mean she's not good at it?
What did she do?
She broke the first rule of modern-day dog whistle racism.
She apologized.
Never apologize for racism or race baiting.
Never.
Okay.
Shows the black you're weak.
Take your jobs.
It does.
It does show you.
Okay, so you're saying it shows you're weak, and then what happens?
And they take your jobs, and then they take your women.
Okay.
So, Bill, this is called Dog Whistle Paul.
What do you do when you're called out for your dog whistle politics?
What do you do about it?
What do you do when you get called out for your subtle racism?
You double down and drop the subtlety like I did last Monday.
Pardon me.
I'm full of genitonics.
Okay, what happened?
Me and Bernie came right out and said it.
Blacks are fucking murderers.
They're all wild animal murderers.
Guess what?
Nobody's talking about my subtle racism or my dog whistles or what I might mean.
Blacks are criminals and fornicators.
Take out your scarborough and stick it up your black loving pipe and abort it.
Bill, you know, why do you anyway?
Look, doesn't it even worry you a little that it doesn't worry you a little that regular people will see you as gross and disgusting?
No.
First of all, regular people love me.
Love me.
Even lefties dig me.
Chris Matthews always says, good to see me whenever I bump into him at various charity functions.
And Captain Jew Boy himself, John Stewart, can't stop coming by on my show and yunking it up with me.
So I might be overtly racist and work to increase the racial divide in our country.
But people see me and Jew boy Stewart laughing our asses off together and they think it's all okay.
You know, that's sad, but that's very true.
No spin there.
Most people just think we're the rights version of Rachel Manow.
And you're not?
See, she uses facts, rational thoughts, and logical arguments to make her points.
I'm just the other side of that coin.
You're the other side of what?
What is the side of the coin you are?
The racist side.
Oh, you're the racist, Sal.
Okay, I got it.
The side that plays on pre-existing prejudices and fears of ignorant white people and exploits it to make a handsome profit.
Just the other side of the coin.
They point out where being racist and race baiting is wrong, and we provide them with the examples to complain about it.
Both sides of the story.
Yes, both sides of the state.
It's a beautiful synergy.
Yeah, it's a bit.
So you really don't care what people think.
No, it's very hard to care when counting millions of dollars and watching Wong Williams say he's afraid of Muslims while Newt Gingrich tells him to get a job.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
It's hard to care.
It's hard to care.
Yeah.
Bill, but don't you think that the problems of the black community that they've experienced is because of a hangover of hundreds of years of slavery and institutional racism?
You don't think that that might be it, Moore?
Maybe that has something to do with it?
Of course I do.
But there's no money in saying that, Jenny.
See, the money is in the race baiting and scapegoating the poor.
You want to end up like Bill Moyers?
That's your funeral.
For me, it's racism, scapegoating, and fear-mongering 24-7.
Okay, Bill.
Well, it's sad.
It is sad, but I appreciate your candor and thanks for coming on.
As always, you're a racist.
Hey.
Somebody's got to be honest out there.
I am honest.
Yes, you are honestly a racist, race-baiting, racial divider.
You're a race eraser.
Well, at least you were honest, Bill, and straightforward.
I guess that's more than I can say for a lot of people.
Hey, somebody's got to be honest out there.
And you know what?
It could be a black or Puerto Rican.
Oh, okay.
All right, Bill.
All right.
Well, you're a racist till the end, Bill.
I appreciate your racism.
You didn't hide it one bit.
Thanks for pulling the veil back.
You got it, fuckface.
Okay, Bill O'Reilly.
And now it's time for another episode of Tuesdays with Moron.
Do we have moron on the phone?
Are you there?
Hi, Jimmy.
How are you doing?
Moron.
Hey, Moron.
Good to hear from you.
You know me, Jimmy.
I sure do.
I'm a good American.
I'm easily manipulated to vote against my own interests, and I always follow my leaders no matter what they say, unless they happen to be a Democrat or a black.
Listen, I want to talk to you about this Anthony Weiner guy.
Oh, what do you have to say about the Anthony Weiner guy?
Yeah, look.
Look, I look.
What?
Yeah, look, I get it.
I get that.
The guy's got a nice Schwartz.
Yeah.
And he wants to show it off.
I get that.
Those things happen.
Right.
Those things happen.
I understand.
I mean, you know, I have a side of a pair of wranglers that grab me in a certain way that show off my shall I say, you know, thing.
Uh-huh.
And I like that, but to take a picture.
Uh-huh.
And then you can't have the mayor of New York City mailing pictures of his thing.
No.
No, Matt would disagree with you.
I don't.
I'm with you.
He didn't even touch.
I know.
He didn't even have sex.
Why not just go have sex?
This way you don't look like such a moron.
Hey, you're a moron.
I know I'm a moron, but I'm saying this is unbelievable.
He didn't even have sex, and now he's got to quit to be mayor.
Yeah, I know.
He's got to quit being mayor.
Is his wife Umpa?
No, Uma.
Uma.
Umpa.
No, Uma.
Yeah, that's what I said.
I said, Umpa.
No, it's Umma.
I don't know.
I did feel sorry for her at first, but then everyone says she's doing this because her best friend, Hillary Clinton, told her to do this.
Yeah.
I think she's doing the right thing standing by her man.
Really?
And all of America Now knows sends pictures of his all over the place.
Yeah, uh-huh.
And is a freak, but Uma stands by him like a good wife.
Yes, she says she stayed.
Did you think that's a good thing for a wife to do, stand by him during a time like that?
Listen.
What?
Hey, listen.
One more thing I wanted to say about Obama's coming out complaining that whiteies are mean to blacks.
That's not what he said.
That's what he said.
That's not what he said, Moore.
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
Did you see?
I was watching Fox.
Turns out blacks commit all the crimes.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I was watching.
Most of them.
Yeah, not all of them.
That's not true.
No.
No, it's not true, Mauron, because if you look at I'm saying that it's what?
They commit the murders.
No, it's this.
And they're murderers.
Yeah, and then they murder, and then they have babies out of wedlock.
And it makes me afraid of them.
This, you shouldn't watch Fox.
You shouldn't watch Fox.
If they weren't that stuff was a lie, then why would Barbara Boxer and Jon Stewart still go on to Fox all the time and laugh it up with those guys?
I don't know why they were.
Yeah, I know they're on all the time.
What came in the mail?
I bet I know what it is.
Is that Terese?
I bet I know.
You got something in the mail, Moron.
What'd you get?
Well, Teresa, when we have barbecues, I always get afraid that some little kid's going to choke.
Gonna choke, gonna choke on the food.
So.
So what did you get?
I got you the hot dog dicer.
What?
It's a much-have must-have in any kitchen of every household with kids, Therese.
It's the dog dicer.
It's the quickest and easiest way to dice hot dogs into smaller, safer, toddler-sized pieces.
And with one fast, simple motion.
Hot dogs?
It's not just for hot dogs either.
What else?
Not only will your toddlers enjoy these American classics, but using the dog dicer will dramatically reduce the risks of choking on everyday favorites such as grapes, bananas, cooked carrots, and more.
It's the dog dicer.
It's simple.
It's lightweight.
It's shaped to fit a single hot dog.
And it's designed to cut the hot dog into half moon-shaped bite-sized pieces.
All in one quick, simple motion.
Well, you really like this thing.
You can use it on anything.
It's good.
Sounds ridiculous.
Send it back.
I'm not sounding it back, Therese.
I like it.
I bet it's letting it out.
Why are you yelling at me?
I mean, are you listening to me?
You gotta go, Moron.
You want me to let you go, Moron?
It's okay.
I gotta go, Jim.
She's yelling at me.
Okay, I'll let you go, Moron.
All right, that was Tuesdays with Moron.
Thank you, Moron.
It's always good to hear from Moron.
Okay, man, that was a power pack show this week.
If I do say so myself, and I do say so myself.
I just said it.
I hope you enjoyed this week's show.
You know, there's plenty of ways to help support the show.
Hey, the premium membership.
What's coming up in the premium content this week?
Well, guess what?
We didn't have time to get to on this week's show.
The Anthony Ween and Weena.
That's right.
We didn't have time to get to it.
We got to it.
We can't fit it in this hour podcast.
Here's a little taste.
I have said that other texts and photos were likely to come out, and today they have.
Well, you know, New York needs a mayor who, when he makes a promise that pictures of his dick will be made public.
When he makes that promise, when he makes that promise, that is exactly what happens.
So there you go.
There's a lot more of that happening in the premium content this week.
We talk about the whole thing and our take on it, which I think is going to surprise some people, our take on it.
And also, we're talking about the, you know, when KTVU, the television station that broadcasts the prank names of the Asiana airline pilots and the crew, right?
Some Ting Wong and Holy.
So anyway, we do a whole bit on it because Patton Oswald got in a salon.com.
He made a funny joke about the whole incident, making fun of the TV station.
Salon.com made a big deal out of it.
And, of course, was wrong, again, was wrong about his comedy.
They thought it was not good.
They didn't get it.
Anyway, so it turned into a whole article.
We go over it.
It's very funny, interesting.
And of course, you know, anything, of course, I get a lot of it, right?
Doing comedy.
The lefty liberals a lot of times don't get sat tired.
They don't understand comedy, where it's aimed, what it's supposed to be.
And Patton takes care of it perfectly, by the way.
So we talk about that in the premium content.
Plus, Anthony Weiner, we even have a phone call from Earl.
We have an Earl call in.
I talk about the Royal Birth.
Plus, a lot more on the premium content.
It's only costs $5 a month.
That's it.
That's like two cents a day.
It's the price of a cup of coffee that costs $5.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
You just go to JimmyDoorComedies.com and you can't miss it.
It says premium right there.
You click on it.
You donate the five bucks.
You get your passcode.
And hey, by the way, I want to let everyone know if you're having trouble, if you go to the website and it seems like it's not up to date, that's because sometimes your browser doesn't talk to the WordPress, which is what the program we use to do our website.
So use a different browser sometimes.
Just go ahead and switch your browser.
Try Firefox works best or whatever.
Just come back.
And Safari seems to have trouble sometimes with our website, but it's always up to date.
So if you go there and it says, hey, it doesn't look like you've updated your website since May, just know that we have.
It's up to date.
but there's just a problem with your browser talking with our website, okay?
And here's...
You ever send somebody flowers for no reason?
I'm going to tell you.
It makes people's day, and it's the best thing ever.
Women love flowers.
My wife taught me that 10 years ago.
And they're great for every occasion.
And we're running a promotion with ProFlowers.
And what you do, if you go to proflowers.com and you click on the microphone in the upper right-hand corner, if you put in our code, which is Jimmy D, they're going to give you a free vase.
And they have beauty.
First of all, and they're a great company, right?
JD Power Associates said they were, they gave them the most favorable rating of any floral company on the web.
And they guarantee their flowers fresh for a week.
And we've been working with them and never had a complaint.
So they're a great company.
Give somebody some flowers.
They have bouquets starting at $19.99.
You put in the code Jimmy D, you get yourself a free vase.
And it's a great company.
And I know it's, I don't know.
I never used to think of sending flowers.
And now I do.
And let me tell you, people love them.
Women love getting flowers.
And especially for no reason.
I know, right?
That sounds great.
Well, you never thought of it like that.
Yes, that's the time to do it for no reason.
Okay, so big thanks to everybody who sends flowers and uses the pro flowers and uses our code because it really does help support the show.
You just click on the microphone, upper right-hand corner at proflowers.com.
You put in the code Jimmy D. It's going to get You a free vase, and it's going to help support the show.
So, thanks, everybody, who helps donate.
And today's show was written.
That's right, it was written by Mike McRae, Steph Semurano, Frank Conniff, Mark Van Landuitt, Steve Rosenfield, and Robert Yasimura.
The voices today, of course, of Bill O'Reilly were performed by Mike McRae.
And I want to take time to say thanks to our special guest, Matt Kirschin.
Matt Kershin, who is hilarious.
Thanks for sitting in.
He's got a great podcast called Probably Science.
You should all check that out.
And what else I want to tell you?
Oh, I want to say thanks to Sean James, who helped me out.
Oh, we got our new backup.
We got a big-time Drobo box backup, and he helped me set it up.
He helps.
If you've got a problem with your Macintosh, he'll fix it for you.
Sean James, you send him an email at MacHelp at Sean James.
He fixes it right over the internet.
It's really amazing, and he's great.
He knows just how to fix stuff.
You can also send him, you give him a phone call at 347-695-601.
And don't forget, I'll see everybody up at the Rooster T-Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, August 8th through 11th.
August 8th through 11th.
There's a link for tickets at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
See everybody up there.
Okay, that's it for this week.
▲
Export Selection