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July 6, 2013 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, the Jimmy Dore Show.
This week we celebrate the 4th of July, which commemorates the revolution that freed us from British rule, but had absolutely no effect on our obsession with PIPA.
Independence Day is the perfect time to remember how we as Americans value our freedom and how much we also used to value optimism and privacy.
Many of us who voted for Obama are disappointed or even completely fed up.
To those in the latter group, I would suggest to at least be practical and remember that being completely fed up doesn't leave enough room for more disillusionment.
Sure, it's disturbing to contemplate our phone calls and internet movements being secretly monitored by the government.
Some might argue that randomly collecting such data only matters if the government is a totalitarian dictatorship.
But if someday the government becomes a totalitarian dictatorship, they'll probably keep that a secret too.
While it does seem like our constitutional rights are being routinely violated, keep in mind the founding fathers knew nothing about terrorism or the internet or Justice Scalia.
But even in an America where every job on Craigslist pays $12 an hour, you can still reach the pinnacle of success if you work hard or you're already wealthy.
Anyway, I've heard some nice things about Vancouver.
Vancouver.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-lovered lapdies.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's on the part of your TV.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joining the studio to my right, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, our resident Latina.
It's Steph Zemarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
I'm great.
Hello, America.
All right.
Happy fourth of the weekend there.
And then across the glass for me, former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian, it's Steve Rosenfield.
Hi, Steve.
How are you?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
Good to see you.
Happy fourth of the weekend.
And across from him, hilarious comedian from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
How are you, Robert?
Can't be better.
There's no way.
Happy 4th of July weekend.
I know it's still bittersweet for you since your parents were in internment camps.
Next to him.
We celebrate December 11th.
Oh, what's that?
What day is that?
I'm sorry, December 7th.
7th.
That's a day that we're living in for Mission.
You can't even remember the day you celebrate.
My wedding anniversary is on August 6th.
Oh, oh.
And what is that?
Tiroshima.
Tiroshima.
Oh, these are good times.
Okay.
And that's the voice of hilarious comedian Dylan Brody.
Dylan, who's got a new CD.
What's it called, Dylan?
Rit Large.
Rit Large.
My fifth CD with Standard Records.
With Stand-Up Records.
Dylan Brody.
Check it out and DylanBrody.com, correct?
That's correct.
And my new novel dropping on Tuesday, Laughs Last.
Get out of here.
Available at Amazon already as an e-book and shipping next Tuesday as a paperback.
No kidding.
Why would I lie?
That's a great, that's a great job, buddy.
What's it called again?
Laughs, Last.
Let's do some jokes before we get to the jokes.
All right.
Hey, The Lone Ranger, the new movie, The Lone Ranger, doesn't open till this weekend, but I'm already planning to watch a few minutes of it on cable next year.
The events in Egypt, the events in Egypt are happening as we're going to air.
We're going to air July 3rd at midnight East Coast time.
That the events in Egypt are incredible.
In fact, the last time a major nation like that had a major presidential coup, I got to go back to America in 2000.
There you go.
Bush, George Bush, commented on the NSA surveillance.
He said that civil liberties under the NSA surveillance are guaranteed.
Even more so, he said that's an even bigger guarantee than I gave on Yellow Cake Uranium and WMDs.
Hey, the Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, it's gone.
It's over with.
The Supreme Court got rid of it.
But adulterous heterosexuals still know in their hearts that they are morally superior to faithful gay couples.
Hey, Paula Dean lost her career as Newt Gingrich gets his own show on CNN.
When God closes the door on one racist, he opens the window for another.
Hey, Chris Christie also weighed in on the Defense of Marriage Act decision.
He called it wrong in a statement issued from up the ass of a teabagger.
He needs to win the 2016 nomination.
Okay, we got a lot coming up on today's show.
We're going to check in with toddlers in Sierras.
That's really happening.
We're going to talk about David Gregory talking about the gay marriage on his Press the Meat show with a bunch of knuckleheads.
Plus a guy, a Walenda, walked across the Grand Canyon only with Jesus' help, and he had Joel Olsting.
Joel Olstein, the preacher, was with him.
We're going to talk about that and him.
Plus Barack Obama, what he sounded like before he was spying on everybody.
Let's see, phone calls from morons.
And we have some classic phone calls coming in.
I haven't chosen yet.
You'll know when it happens.
So we're going to talk about marijuana's the resurgence of anti-marijuana morons on television and in real life.
Plus, Pat Robertson tries to answer some of its critics.
Plus, there's a lot, lot more that's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
you Beep.
Jimmy Dore, this is Rip Torn.
Hey, sweetie.
You're looking good these days.
Look at you, buddy.
An award-winning comedy special.
A Budfiles show in Los Angeles.
A podcast.
And your very own program on KPFK.
That's how you do it, son.
You go out and show the world your hard dick.
Let everyone get a good look so they know what they're dealing with.
You're the tops, Chief.
I've always said it.
But a word of advice for your show.
Easy on the politics.
I'm not saying get rid of it altogether, but just have a little fluff on the side.
Entertainment news.
It's what the people want, Jim Jam.
After all, you don't live in Washington, D.C. You live in Hollywood, CA, surrounded by a constellation of the brightest stars in the fucking world.
Not 10 miles from where you sit, Lindsay Lohan brought cupcakes to a morgue because she was late for her court-ordered probation work.
But what are we talking about on the Jimmy Door show today?
Bless Steagel or some bullhonky that no one gives a rat's ass about.
The real crime out there has nothing to do with unions or banks or pensions.
It's that famous people now get in trouble for stuff they do when they're drunk.
How did we get here?
It didn't Used to be that way.
One time in 1965, Larry Storch and I spent all day drinking at the bar at the Roosevelt Hotel, decided to hijack a liquor truck with sawed-off shotguns, drove it through the front lobby of a funeral home, and somehow ended up at Norman Mailer's house, where we drugged him and his wife and sodomized them with lawn darts.
And you know what happened to us?
Not a goddamn thing.
No jail, no probation, no court-ordered rehab.
Just the respect and accolades of our peers.
The way it should be.
But nowadays, I can't even doubt a fifth of shivas and weave my link into oncoming traffic without getting busted by the fuzz and subjected to some Nuremberg trial.
Let alone act like I used to in restaurants, i.e., throw salad plates at Chinamen while getting a hand job under the table from the lovely and talented Miss Mary Lou Henner.
It's unjust, Jimmy.
We need a spokesperson for the revolution.
You're just the man for the job.
Think about it, baby Skittles.
I'll be back.
I'll be back.
*music*
Hey, that was our first ever Ripped Torn call that started it all.
And right now, I want to say thanks to everybody who uses our Amazon.com box when they buy stuff from Amazon.com.
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Thanks to everyone who's already taken advantage of it.
Now let's get back to more show.
Now let's get back to more show.
So I was watching Meet the Oppressed to Meet with David Gregory.
Friend of the show.
Friend of the show.
And they were talking about the gay marriage issue.
So he brings on a bunch of people.
He has a very cross-section.
His panel is a real cross-section.
Here's the first two guests.
Now, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow, founder and chairman of the Faith and Freedom Coalition, Ralph Reed.
So Ralph Reed.
What?
Ralph Reed, the guy who, shouldn't he be really be introduced?
And now here is one of the biggest hypocrites we've ever had on the show.
Got caught up in the Abramoff scandal, but he hides behind religion.
It's Ralph Reed.
Noted homophobe and ultra neo-Christian.
Noted homophobe, hate monger, and neo-Christian.
And then he goes on to introduce Jim DeMint.
And he goes on to, yeah, so it's like, it's like David Gregory presents a cross-section of douchebags plus Rachel Maddow.
That's what it's like.
It's a mixture of douchebags.
And Ralph Reed, nothing can keep this guy off Sunday television and being introduced as a regular guy.
No amount of scandal, no amount of malfeasance, no amount of criminal activity, no amount of him being caught hypocritically red-handed can keep him off Sunday morning television shows on major networks and say what you want about Ralph Reed but he speaks for millions of religious crackbots who can't be reasoned with I'm unfamiliar with Ralph Reed what did he do that exposed him as a hypocrite Ralph Reed got caught up in the Abramoff scandal taking money under the table and funneling it he did a lot of other work he did worse stuff than that
even with denying working rights for people in Guam.
And hey, yeah, it was.
But he never got caught in a homosexual trist.
No, he never got caught.
He's never got caught in a homosexual trist.
No, he never did.
So so they go on.
So then they go.
So he David Gregory asked Jim DeMint.
He said, you know, Justice Kennedy says that if you deny gay people the right to marry, you're denying them the same dignity that you you allow everyone else.
And here is what Jim DeMint said back to that quote.
What I'd say, David, is he is denying dignity to the millions of Americans who, for moral or religious reasons, believe that gay marriage is wrong.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
See, Robert, in much the same way that civil rights law denied the dignity of white supremacists who, for moral and religious reasons, didn't want blacks to drink from their water fountain.
It's that same kind of thing, right, Dylan?
It's a principle.
Here's the thing about the right wing on all of these damn issues is that they can't admit what it is that they're talking about.
They know they can't go on television and say, hey, we're not saying these guys can't commit to each other.
We're just saying when we think about what they do at home, it makes us go.
Yes.
So they make up the.
Oh, it's good.
It's got to.
We got to protect the sanctity of marriage.
That's a load of crap.
If they want to protect the sanctity of marriage, they don't stop people who love each other from getting married.
You outlaw divorce and unanticipated weight gain.
And you call it a day.
Hey, Dylan, I ask you, though, doesn't our Constitution give heterosexuals the right to be legitimately creeped out by gay people?
Here's the thing.
They're going to picture it in their minds.
There's nothing you can do.
There's nothing they can do.
I may disagree with what you say, but I will fight to the death for my right to tell you to shut the fuck up about it.
Very funny.
Very funny.
So that was his.
That's legitimate.
That's what he said back.
That's like saying, yeah, well, you're denying the dignity of straight people to deny gay people equal.
For that matter, didn't the Emancipation Proclamation deny dignity to millions of white Southerners who believe that slavery was a great idea?
It's so true.
That lost generation right there.
Right there.
Do you remember Al Lubell?
Not Al Lubell.
Al Cleefon, a comic was coming up when I was in town.
He used to say that people in the South will tell you that it wasn't about slavery, the Civil War.
It was about economics.
Yeah.
The economics.
The white people didn't want to pay the help.
That's what that was.
Basically.
So here comes Tim Hugelski.
scamp his name is tim hule scamp that's not a made-up name that's not a real that he's the republican from kansas he's trying to block same-sex marriages through another route he wants to amend the u.s constitution in this day and age this guy's from kansas he's younger than me this guy these are the guys what's wrong with these guys anyway so here he is and david gregory god bless him you know every once in a while when he does things bad i point it out so when he does things good i'll point it out so here he just asks the question that everybody wants to ask these guys
what is it that you have against gays and lesbians marrying what you what is it what do you have again what's your freaking problem with these people anyway which uh by the way is what the supreme court calls standing this is why these things get thrown out yes you don't have what is your stand exactly meaning what is your injury sir how are you harmed by bob and dave touching each other's how is that hurting you exactly right it uh Well,
it hurts him because he has the pain of knowing that other men are enjoying themselves homosexually and he doesn't allow himself that same thrill.
That's the pain.
I believe that if people would just relax and allow themselves their own foibles, they would care less about what Frank and Bob are doing in the next year.
I agree.
Dylan, you know that's the truth.
Everybody who's a vocal anti-gay person is fighting the gay urge themselves because their whole thing is if I can't do it, why should anybody else get it?
Because if you didn't, if you weren't fighting, why would you care?
The answer is you wouldn't.
And it's obvious, right?
So here's Tim Hulescamp.
Here's Tim Hule scamp.
And he comes on to press the meet, and David Gregory asks him that question, and let's listen to his answer.
What is it that you have against gays and lesbians marrying?
This issue here is the definition of marriage.
for centuries in this country and elsewhere around the world, in every major world religion has identified marriages as between a man and a woman.
Yeah, see, because for centuries...
That's right.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Even there, he's wrong.
Because marriage is a civil thing.
It has always been a civil thing.
Matrimony has always been holy, and that's a separate thing.
Yes.
And that can be defined however you, with your belief in invisible man in the sky, want to define it.
But that's different from marriage, which can happen between corporations, for God's sake.
The whole idea that because we've done this for a long time, historically, historically, let's listen.
What are some of the other cool things that were cool for centuries and centuries?
I don't know, witch trials, slavery, lynchings, child labor, killing union workers, and oh yeah, arresting people for being gay.
He's nostalgic for those old days.
That's what this guy is nostalgic for.
Listen, it is tradition in my family to hate gays.
And you and your Supreme Court are hurting my civil rights.
So, Rachel.
Don't do customs mean anything anymore.
Really?
No respect for traditions of bigotry.
I remember at Easter, we would have a ham and then chase the fags.
By the way.
That was a family gathering without torches and pitchforks, really.
By the way, Dylan Brody and I were on a radio show earlier this week.
Stop bragging.
And we were both introduced to a right-wing moron.
You're not supposed to say that.
You're not supposed to pretend that you're intellectually superior.
And I'm not.
I'm dumb.
And even me as a dumb guy is disgusted with that level of moronism.
I don't even know if that's a word.
That's how dumb I am.
But they're even dumber.
So here we go.
So we're going to talk.
I'm going to tease that right now.
And we're going to talk about that at the end of this segment about what happened, why Dylan walked out of the studio and why I hung up.
What?
And I walked off the set.
And so we're going to tell that story.
I'm going to tease it right now.
So here's Rachel Maddow, and she's on the panel, and she sticks.
Here's what she has to say about the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage.
I mean, gay people exist.
There's nothing we can do in public policy that makes more of us exist or less of us exist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gay people exist.
All right, Rachel.
But there'd be fewer of you if only you guys wanted to be cured.
Yeah, don't even try.
They don't even try.
They don't even try.
You have to stop reproducing.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
But why do they recruit?
That's the thing I don't understand.
I mean, do any of the panelists even hear her voice when she's speaking?
I don't think so.
They must be imploding slowly.
Here's give her a running start.
Here's Rachel Maddow's take.
I mean, gay people exist.
There's nothing we can do in public policy that makes more of us exist or less of us exist.
And you guys have been arguing for a generation that public policy ought to essentially demean gay people as a way of expressing disapproval of the fact that we exist.
But you don't make any less of us exist.
You just are arguing in favor of discrimination.
And more discrimination doesn't make straight people like it.
Bam.
Wow.
Bam.
Very good.
That was her.
She did a really good job there.
Your plan to demean.
I wish she was straight.
She is my latest in a long series of crushes on gay women.
So that's what she had to say.
And bam.
You know, your plan is to discriminate and demean gays.
That's pretty pretty beautiful.
So Ralph Reed, Ralph Reed was sitting there.
And, you know, the truth doesn't sit well with Captain of Jesus' cock.
I believe that's what it says on his business card.
And so he has to respond, and here's what he has to say.
David, I really can't let that go.
I mean, this suggestion that because somebody wants to affirm the institution of marriage, that they're ipso facto intolerant, by that argument.
By that argument, yeah, we're intolerant bigots.
But if you don't look at that argument, maybe we could still pretend I'm not a complete effing ass shyster who hides behind religion to do people into thinking I'm not.
And by the way, whenever somebody has to use the term to, when somebody's trying to prove to you that they're not a racist and they have to, or a bigot, and they have to use the term ipso facto, it's pretty sure that this guy's trying to get out of some BS.
Well, you know my litmus test for bigotry, right?
Speaking to the microphone.
You know my litmus test for bigotry, right?
Yes, what is it?
If you have ever found yourself saying, don't get me wrong, there's white niggers too.
You're a bigot.
Wow.
I see your point.
You know what?
I think I've heard lots of people say that.
Yeah.
I'm sure you have.
I have.
Yeah.
I do have to make that joke.
That's great.
I haven't in about 15 years, but I definitely remember in the 90s.
You're hanging out with a better crowd.
Listen, I don't want to brag, but yeah.
You know, I just want to go back to Ralph Reed.
Just that he's sitting on this panel.
So people, that he has any credibility whatsoever, that ABC provides him credibility.
And Dave, and it was NBC.
And David Gregory, it's outrageous.
This guy should be nowhere in front of a microphone.
What do you have to do to be discredited enough to not be allowed back on NBC's Sunday meet the press and still be introduced as you're some kind of a respectable religious guy?
What you are not recognizing and giving proper respect to is this.
His eyes are very twinkly.
I just love their, you know, Dylan, the whole theory of I'm not a bigot just because I truly believe God says marriage is between a man and a woman.
And that was decided thousands of years ago when people were absolutely positive that the earth was flat.
That's correct.
I love bad theories.
By the way, when people say like the institution of marriage, let's just be really clear.
Up until fairly recent human history, instructional marriage was about subjugation of women.
It was about contract law and subjugation of women.
And sale and slavery and shadow.
And they love to say this too.
They go, well, what's next?
Now we can have polygamy.
You can marry three people or four people.
That's how marriage used to be defined.
They go, marriage has always been defined.
No, it hasn't.
I'm sorry, but wasn't it for how many centuries was it polygamy?
Guys took on a lot of wives during Jesus' time.
So like emperors had a bunch of wives.
Yeah, always.
And if you died, your wife went to your brother.
Yes.
It was a big party.
Have you met people?
So they try to whitewash the thing.
They try to whitewash the history of marriage so they can make it seem like this pristine thing.
No, this was all about ownership.
And the whole thing is, is that there's a big difference between the marriage that the state grants you and the one that happens in your church.
Time for Tuesdays with Moron.
Who's on the phone?
Who do I got here?
Hey, Jimmy, it's me, Moron.
How you doing?
Hey, Moron.
I'm easily manipulated to vote against my own economic interests, but I always follow.
I'm a good American.
I always follow my leaders, right or wrong, unless they happen to be a Democrat or a black.
Listen.
I'm listening.
I also.
I'm listening.
I must listen.
You also enjoy watching Dancing with the Stars because the ladies are sexy.
My wife Teresa says it's okay.
I'm not gay.
Okay, I got you.
I was thinking about all this stuff going on.
Okay, what's going on?
What are you thinking?
I was thinking.
Okay, you were thinking.
And then I thought, I don't know if we should talk anymore because of the NSA.
I don't know what you mean.
We shouldn't talk anymore because of the NSA.
What is that?
What are you afraid of?
I heard that if they can listen to your phone calls, then they can do whatever they want else, like they do in the movies, but worse, because it's not the movies, it's the real life.
And what kind of Fourth of July is this gonna be now?
I guess not a good one, I guess.
Is it hurting you?
I mean, but on the other hand, I'm happy for the gays.
Yes, me too.
They deserve that.
Yes, they do.
And you know, the more I think about it, of course they want to be married.
Most guys are like, I wouldn't want to be married, but they're gay.
And anybody who would voluntarily have a dick and jammed up their ass probably would enjoy being married, too.
Oh, you know what?
Don't talk like that.
I said, don't talk like that.
I don't want to hear it.
You know, Teresa and I are thinking we're going to open up a florist in West Hollywood.
Oh, that's good because the gays.
Yeah, because the gays love the flowers.
Right.
And so do the un-homos.
Okay, I don't think that's a good idea.
So it's a win-win.
Yeah, I don't think that's what they don't call them un-homos.
But seriously, Jim, I don't like the idea that anyone can listen in or record what I'm saying.
Because I can't check.
I still scared of it.
I can't hear you.
What are you whispering?
I can't assure you, Jackie, Jimmy.
I can't understand what you're saying.
You whispering?
Because it's like...
Over and out.
Why do you keep saying over and out?
Because of the NSA, Teres.
What about the NSA?
The NSA, you're listening in, and I'm talking to Jimmy about it.
I don't know why they keep saying over and out.
What is your walkie-talkie, T.I. Joe?
I don't need any lift from you, Teresa.
Okay, boy.
I'm just wondering, I didn't want to buy the community.
You can walk me by me.
And what can't be me by this?
Oh, you can hear it mean.
You can walk me by me.
Oh, okay.
Wow, Moron and Therese are mixing it up.
They can work things out.
I really hope they can mix things up.
Wow.
Okay, the triumphant return of Tuesdays with Moron.
There's going to be more moron coming up in the second half of the show, plus a lot more.
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$5.
That's not even, it's not even a dollar a week.
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Again, I'm not good with the math, but it's very little money for all this entertainment and a great way to say thanks to the Jimmy Door show for providing it free.
Okay.
Well, the premium stuff's not free, Jimmy.
Yeah, I know, but this is the whole point.
Do you get it?
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Treat yourself.
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Less than a cup of coffee that costs a lot.
Okay, $5 a month.
That's the premium.
Great way to help support the show.
Now let's get back to the second half.
Okay, now it's time to revisit our Tuesdays with Moron segment.
Moron called in earlier in the first half hour of the show, and we got cut off because he got scared about the NSA spying.
Let's check back in with them.
Hey, are you still scared about the NSA?
Yeah, well.
What?
I don't see, Jim.
I don't get it.
What is it that you don't get exactly, Moron?
Tell me.
Yeah, it should have all Americans.
This is Big Brother.
It's worst.
I'll pay it, Jim.
Oh, the NSA?
I mean, I can't believe that they had this guy first day in office, they give Obama's the publishers clearing out sweepstakes prize.
No, what are you?
Wait, what are you talking about, the gay moment?
Obama, remember they gave him the publisher's swearing sweepstakes prize when he became president and over in Switzerland, Switzerland.
No, they gave him the Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel Peace Prize.
That's not the publisher.
My point is, what kind of Fourth of July is it when our founding fathers when our founding forefathers decided that we would have liberty and not never live under the tyranny?
But now, I wonder what kind of democracy we really have, Jim.
Besides, what do you think about that lady in Texas causing all that trouble with her hot team sneakers and demanding her voice be heard for 11 hours or more?
What a headache.
Yeah, you better not let Trump.
I mean, even Terese doesn't talk for 11 hours straight.
You better watch it, Moron.
I'll tell you what.
Wendy Davis is my era.
Oh, my God.
Is that Terese?
Is she talking to you about Wendy Davis?
Are you guys having a conversation?
I said, are you having a conversation about it?
Ever since that happened, Therese has been walking around in the pink sneakers, telling me she's not going to take it anymore.
And Wendy Davis is a troublemaking bitch.
I love Wendy Davis!
Therese!
Jimmy, I don't get it.
That woman really got on my nerves.
You're talking about that she got on your nerves because she did a filibuster?
I don't think you can say that on the radio, Jim.
Remember, the NSA and the FCC is listening.
Filibuster?
I could say Philip.
Filibuster.
Paula Dean already got in trouble for saying stuff.
So what?
You can say filibuster.
You're upset at Wendy Davis because she was courageous because she stood up against right-wing extremists for women's rights.
Is that what you're upset about, moron?
Yeah.
I heard Wendy Davis isn't even a real blonde.
And she herself was a murderer at 19, and her mother didn't even abort her.
Yeah, see, this is you're just trying to smear her with crazy stuff.
She's not a real blonde.
She was a single mother.
I'm saying that you're trying to...
Why?
What's happening?
Teresa and I always exchange gifts for our nation's birthday.
Oh, really?
What'd you get her?
What'd you get her?
Well, you know, Teresa loves music and strong dental hygiene.
Uh-huh.
So I got her to brush buddies.
The brush buddies?
It's a toothbrush that also sings songs.
Really?
And it makes your teeth brushing your teeth fun.
Really?
It's been singing songs.
Yeah, each brush plays two songs, one for morning brushing and one for night.
Okay.
And plays each song for a full two minutes.
The tennis recommends that you brush your teeth for two minutes.
Makes sense, right?
Oh, so the song's two minutes, you brush your teeth for two minutes.
Is that what you're saying?
They have songs by Justin Bieber as seen on TV.
Oh, okay.
I got you.
It features soft DuPont bristles and an ergonomic design.
It cleans the black and hard to reach places.
I mean, is this a good gift, though?
I mean, do you think that Therese...
Each button plays one of the Justin Bieber songs.
You know, Justin Bieber, while he's a big star, he's not everybody's cup of tea, moron.
I mean, you've got to make sure she loves Justin Bieber.
I hope so, because...
Okay, I don't think that's a good gift.
But she didn't like that that much.
She said it wasn't romantic.
No, no kidding.
I have a feeling she's gonna flip for this.
Okay, well, let's hope so.
Is that all?
Is that the only gift you got me?
Trace, were you listening in on my call?
Maybe.
Well, maybe you don't understand the concept of privacy.
Maybe you don't understand the concept of a good gift.
Whatever happened to the idea of, it's the thought that counts.
Not if you're a moron.
What do you mean?
Oh, it's not me.
That's me, that's me.
I'm gonna get you something.
My mustache is fine.
And that's how you is.
Jim, I gotta go.
Don't you?
Okay, Moron.
Okay, Marn.
Okay, Mauren, I'll see you.
Wow.
Okay, that was it.
It was Tuesday's LeBoron.
Hey, here's one more easy, fun way to help support the show.
If you're going to send somebody flowers, then why wouldn't you?
Everybody loves flowers.
I got taught that lesson a long time ago by my wife.
Send flowers to women.
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Even if it's for no reason.
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And when you buy some flowers, they send us some money.
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So everyone gets a little something.
It's just that easy.
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You type in Jimmy D. They give you a free vase.
Flower bouquet started at $19.99.
ProFlowers is a great company.
Everybody loves getting flowers.
And you're going to get the free vase.
Plus, you help support the show.
Could there be anything better?
Maybe.
There might be, but this is pretty good.
So thanks for helping support the show again in this other way.
There's all these ways you can help support the show because I know you want to and you love the show and you're a great person.
That's why you listen to this show.
We don't have any shitty people listening to this show.
All top-notch people.
Okay, now let's get back to the show.
Now, we all know Pat Robertson has a long track record of giving horrible marriage advice, right?
So women write in for marriage advice.
It depends.
If you're the man, it's great.
It's really good advice.
Yeah, because if you're the menu.
You're the man cheating.
For instance, this woman said, I can't get my husband to pay attention to me and get off the computer.
And here was his advice to her.
You know, a woman came to a preacher that I know.
It's so funny.
And she was awful looking.
I mean, her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and looked terrible, clothes bad and everything.
And she said, oh, Reverend, what can I do?
My husband has started to drink.
And the preacher looked at her and said, Madam, if I was married to you, I'd start to drink.
Oh, my.
We need to cultivate romance.
Oh, that's some great advice there.
So that's Pat Roberts.
Darling, and it needs to be the men have got to be cultivating romance and the women.
You always have to keep that spark of love alive.
It just isn't something that just lies there.
Well, I'm married to him, so he's got to take me slatternly looking.
You've got to fix yourself up.
Look pretty.
Look alluring.
Okay.
It is so true.
So that's so.
And by the way, did he just say just lie there?
Just lie there.
Yeah.
Thanks for the sex tip.
I'm guessing Pat's wife has gotten that talking too.
You can't just lie there.
And would you put some makeup on?
Stop looking slatherly.
I have a strong suspicion that after Pat Robertson dies, we're going to find his full collection of size 22 dresses.
You know.
Oh, no doubt about it.
Nobody is that tight sphincter without having some secrets.
I'm with you.
So then recently, a woman called in or wrote in because her husband was cheating.
And here's what Pat Robertson said to this woman.
Here's the secret.
Okay.
So she called in.
She wanted to know how do I get over my feelings of mistrust for him because he cheated and blah, blah, blah.
And here's Pat Roberts' advice.
Here's the secret.
Okay.
And this is the secret.
Stop talking about the cheating.
He cheated on you.
Well, he's a man.
Okay.
Okay, so this is kind of what we do.
That's our job.
It's kind of what happens.
So here, he goes on.
So what you do is begin to focus on why you married him in the first place.
He must have something that you wouldn't have married him.
So think about those things and give him honor instead of trying to worry about it.
But recognize.
Also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit.
And what do you want to do is to make the home so wonderful that he doesn't want to wander.
But think of the temptations right there.
Yeah, so what you want to do is you make your house so the guy doesn't want to wander.
So this is his advice.
He says house.
Does he mean like how she takes care of her bush?
No, no, he means that.
How did we get his gardening?
No, that would be gardening.
Okay, all right.
Thank you.
So here, here, here's Pat Robertson.
So recently, a woman wrote in and asked him this.
We want to take some time to answer email questions.
I want to make a statement here.
This part of our program, ladies and gentlemen, I answer specific questions from specific people and my attempt as a pastor is to help them have a better life and to have an answer to their question.
But there are organizations as one in particular.
The Jimmy Dore Show, which I will not name.
The Jimmy Dore show.
But it is set out for one purpose to embarrass those who are conservative on television.
The Jimmy Dore show.
And so they take my words and twist them and distort them.
Yes, we take your words and we twist them by playing them unedited and letting people listen to what you have to say verbatim.
Now, if there was ever a dirty trick in the world, it's letting people listen to you talk unedited.
Here we go.
But nevertheless, we have had some wonderful responses to the last time they played that game with me.
And you've got a letter that came I thought was real precious.
And I want just to let you see what some of the people are saying.
So we hammered him, right, before on the show for those previous two clips that I just played.
We've previously played those on the show and we've hammered him.
And now someone wrote in about that.
Okay, this letter, this is a viewer who writes Pat and says, dear Pat.
By the way, they put it up, but they put up a graphic of the letter.
The letter's handwritten.
It's not typed on a computer and sent in as an email.
Somebody wrote this with their hand.
Okay.
Your answer regarding the woman who's having an extremely difficult time forgiving her husband of his infidelity is in line with how God tells us to forgive.
I heard no excuse for the man's poor behavior in your answer.
I think I did.
We heard a lot.
So he's a guy cheating on you.
All right, all right.
That's his excuse.
He was a man.
Guys are going to, this is what guys do.
What do you mean you didn't hear?
You didn't hear that to me?
I like the idea that you should remember why she married him in the first place.
Right.
Just think about how he said he would pull out and then didn't, and now we have kids.
Just put your focus on that.
That'll make it better.
What if he said he would never cheat?
That's why she married.
That's why she's mad.
I'll always be true to you, honey.
Try to remember that guy before the cheating.
What I did hear and understand from you is that no amount of counseling, talking to friends, or trying to forgive will lead her toward healing and moving forward.
Actions such as the ones you suggested, which is to focus on the positive and why she was drawn to her husband initially, is the absolute best route to recovery.
God forgives us in the same manner a million times a day, and he commands us to do the same.
God bless you.
And she signs this.
A woman who wishes she'd received this same advice on forgiveness prior to her divorce 15 years ago.
Yeah, the advice was ignore it.
Guys cheat.
But I'm so lonely now.
Lonely.
I'm so sad.
After 15 years, he's starting to look pretty good to her.
I'm so sad that I put my foot down and stuck up for myself and had some dignity 15 years ago.
I should have slathered on more makeup and had another drink.
Me and my self-esteem.
Let's see how he ends this.
Quote 2 Corinthians 10, 5 and Matthew 6, 14 and 15.
She wishes she'd had those same advice.
Folks, we're here to help you.
Believe me, there are people who aren't.
I am not politically correct.
In case you haven't learned, I tell it like this.
People misconstrue sometimes, often.
This organization misconstrues deliberately.
They want to do everything they can to make my words and they twist them.
Twist them.
Exactly.
Twist them.
And I will not identify the organization with one.
Jimmy Doer show.
Yeah, we may have a full-scale expose because it's a nasty group.
The Jimmy Door Show.
We're a nasty group.
I love how he's, you know, it's, it's, I think if you're competing with another woman, what you need to do is be younger, prettier, and better in the sack.
I think that's his advice, right?
Younger.
And even then, men are there.
Yes.
Let's face it, it's only natural that women are going to throw themselves at your husband, especially if, for example, he's an iconic TV evangelist who's been married a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.
He needs some strange.
I never said your husband's cheating was all right.
I said if you want to stay married, you should at least try to enjoy it.
Okay, so I love how he says there's an embarrassing organization trying to embarrass me, showing all my advice segments unedited.
What do these monsters think they are?
It's not right.
They're playing these shows to liberals.
Of course, it looks like a bunch of Stone Age bullshit to them.
They're smart.
I'm not politically correct.
In fact, I'm not even correct in my experience.
In fact, I'm not even correct in my experience.
So there's a lot of morons going on television talking disparagingly about marijuana as if it's the 1950s or something again.
Well, to be fair, that and the jitterbug are going to make us all schizo.
Yes, and jazz.
And if they show Elvis from the waist down.
So that's what these guys sound like to me, right?
So here is this guy.
What's ah, hang on a sec.
Are you going to let me do my entire rant on the marijuana tax act?
How long is it?
I don't know, 45 minutes, an hour.
Yeah, I don't know.
You mean the one with the machine?
The one that was based on the machine gun tax?
What is this?
Was it based on the machine gun tax?
I didn't know that.
That's brilliant.
1934.
So here's Patrick Kennedy.
Now, if you're not familiar with Patrick Kennedy, he's had a history of mental illness and drug addiction.
So who better to come on and talk about drug addiction and marijuana than a guy who's been there himself?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe someone better would be somebody who knows what they're talking about.
So this is Patrick Kennedy, and here's what he has to say.
Reducing the kind of harm, perception of harm of marijuana, which is what's really out there now, thanks to all this movement towards legalization, that more people will use, Piers.
He's saying that people are getting the perception that pot's not so bad with all this movement towards legalization, which was spurred by the fact that pot isn't so bad for you.
How old is this guy?
I don't know.
Patrick Kennedy.
Look him up.
I don't know.
And where is he a representative from?
Rhode Island.
Rhode Island.
I thought it was.
Rhode Island.
That's right, right, right.
From 1995 until 2011.
Right.
Wow.
And he's 45 years old.
He sounds incredibly young.
So high voice.
So he started.
So he started serving.
So in like 28, when he was 28 years old.
Reducing the kind of harm, perception of harm of marijuana, which is what's really out there now, thanks to all this movement towards legalization, that more people will use, Piers.
And if more people use like I did when I was a teenager, nine out of ten addicts, which I became, started when they were teenagers.
Okay.
He became nine out of ten addicts?
He became nine out of ten.
So this whole thing is if we don't ban marijuana, nine out of ten people are going to become at, I mean, what is the statistic?
Nine out of ten people are at.
What is that?
I don't even understand that statistic.
Do you?
I do.
It's bullshit.
Yes.
That's what that statistic is.
That's what that statistic is, right?
By the way, not for nothing.
It is currently much easier to get pot as a high school student than it is to get beer.
Yes.
So, yes.
What is he talking like?
Like legalizing and regulating pot actually would be a boom for the very problem he's claiming exists.
Here's a valid statistic, though.
100% of all sober non-smokers die.
What?
That's a great.
So he's got a little bit more to say.
It started when they were teenagers, and no one could argue today that this move will increase the number of young people who will end up using this because they don't think it's any big deal because of this notion that it's medical.
Well, I like how he says this notion that it's medical.
Hey, have you ever talked to an AIDS patient who uses it medically?
It's not a notion.
Do you ever talk to a cancer patient who uses it medically?
It's not a notion.
Until the Marijuana Tax Act of 1934, it was the second most prescribed medicine in the country following marijuana.
Yes, this notion.
Yeah.
Then it was called cannabis by the AMA, and it was called hemp by the textile industry, and it was called hashish when it was used recreationally by people of all classes.
And then William Randolph Hearst had found a way to make paper out of it, and he had lumber holdings.
So he started putting in his newspapers that it was marijuana.
Marijuana.
No one had heard that.
It sounded Mexican-ish and dangerous.
And he planted stories about crazed Mexicans high on marijuana killing families of whites.
That's correct.
And he said that it was coming across the border and causing white women to enjoy jazz music in the company of black men.
Yes.
But he still couldn't get it outlawed until someone came out with a way to refine hemp seed oil.
Into nylon, right?
Into nylon and fuel.
Yes.
And that threatened to do pond holdings.
So they went to the House Ways and Means Committee, snuck a bill through without any debate.
On the day that it came up, the AMA showed up and said, whoa, whoa, you're talking about cannabis?
You can't outlaw that.
We use it all the time.
And they said, too late.
You have to have told us that before.
The agriculture department came in and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're talking about hemp?
It's a cash crop.
We can't outlaw that.
Sorry, you should have filed these complaints two weeks ago.
The Ways and Means Committee, old white guys, the Wees and Mones Committee, put through the tax act bill.
And in the Library of Congress, in the congressional record, one of the reasons given is that it was causing Negroes to smile in public.
Wow.
Well, it does.
It's still doing that.
So now we can't get high after the show.
Right.
Because, you know, the two richest guys that are most quickly destroying the planet could be harmed by this self-replenishing, oxygenating plant.
And you get a moron like this guy Kennedy, right?
This Patrick Kennedy, who is a moron.
If you're going to come on television and speak about marijuana like it's the death of kids, you are a idiot.
You are a moron.
Okay, so here's another guy.
I don't know who this guy is, but he's sitting next to Dr. Druid across the table from Piers Morgan, and let's listen to what he has to say.
Well, that's a credential right there.
Alcohol has a long history of widespread accepted use in our culture, getting back to before the Old Testament.
Marijuana does not have that kind of widespread history.
So I don't see why just because alcohol is legal, marijuana will be up.
So that's him sidestepping the real issue about why when people say, well, alcohol is legal, why shouldn't marijuana?
He says.
Alcohol has a long history of widespread accepted use in our culture, didn't it?
Yes, so did slavery.
Okay?
So did the worst argument for anything because that we've done it a long time.
That, again, when you don't have an argument, you make that one.
Yeah, that is the argument that I make whenever anyone suggests that we try to figure out how man might fly.
Right.
We never flew.
So why should we fly now?
That can't happen.
That can't be happening.
Also, by the way, you know, the hemp plant has been used in everything since the dawn of time.
I mean, the Pharaohs wrote on hemp paper on papyrus made from hemp.
So where's this guy coming?
He's wrong.
The War of 1812 was fought over the availability of hemp.
We made our sales and our rope out of it, and it was suddenly being, the supply was being threatened, and we went into a war over it.
And do you know what that led to?
No.
Nobody knows anything about the War of 1812.
I didn't know this.
I saw a documentary on the War of 1812.
They never mentioned it.
They never mentioned it, Dylan.
How did they know about it?
Did they explain to you why the War of 1812 was fought?
No.
See, they just glaze over it.
They just talk about the war.
They talk about the theater, what happened.
But never mentioned.
They never talk about really why.
I always thought it was just because Madison was kind of a pussy.
I thought it was because the America had gone into parts of Canada and killed people.
And then so they saw this as a way to retaliate.
It was all about the availability of hemp and tariffs on imported textiles made from hemp.
Okay, so here's another statistic this guy sitting next to Dr. Drew Across from Piers Morgan says.
And hold on to your whatever because it's going to fly off.
This is actually about kids, people vulnerable for addiction.
One in six kids who try pot will become addicted.
One in six kids who will try pot will become.
It's all about the kids, by the way, all of a sudden.
Again, it's all about, then why don't we make it illegal for kids?
Why do we have to make it like just like alcohol, just like cigarettes, just like driving a car, we make it illegal for kids.
Not for grown-ups.
I believe one in five kids who drink every day after school will become alcoholics.
Yes.
And by the way, that's a complete BS statistic.
Completely.
Completely.
There's no way they know that.
And the reason why I know that is that's one of the things that they always say is like, well, we don't know enough.
And let me tell you something, Robert.
One of the least studied drugs is marijuana.
Right.
And that's the way they want it.
Because every time they study it, they find out that it helps to cure cancer.
It cures stuff.
Yeah.
Finds out a cure stuff.
One in six.
They find out it's infinitely less harmful than tobacco or alcohol.
Infinitely less.
And it would bring in massive amounts of tax dollars.
Yes.
And it would be fine.
So here, yes, it is fine.
But it is fine.
We've had legal pot in California for how many years now?
And what's happened?
Has crime gone up?
No.
Here's the thing.
In fact, Iran Corporation did a study, and they found out that crime near a medical marijuana clinic actually goes down when a medical marijuana clinic opens up.
But boy, the people outside of L.A. believe it.
They believe the BS that has been smoking.
But I see a lot more Mexicans smiling on the street.
So here it says, so they bring on this guy who used to be in the DEA.
He's an African-American former DEA guy who's fought drugs his whole career now he's retired and he's against the drug war and it's illegal making drugs illegal and trying to solve the problem that way and he says this to Patrick Kennedy you know I'd be curious to find out how Mr. Kennedy how prison helped you beat addiction crimination okay so and then that Patrick Kennedy by the way I had the clip I lost it he doesn't answer the question well you know that's
It's a great, yeah, it's a great, really, first of all, I want to thank you for your service.
He does one of those things.
Yes.
All right.
First of all, I want to thank you for your service.
Shut up.
Here's the thing, and this is very important to keeping our society running the way it does.
People who smoke pot and get stoned have no interest in going anywhere and killing anyone.
Right, right.
And we cannot have an entire generation of young men who have no interest in going anywhere and killing anyone.
Okay, that's the perfect spot to end the next segment.
Dylan Brody laying down some provocative thoughts at the end of that podcast.
Well, it wasn't the end.
It was actually the middle.
We went on to talk about Dylan Brody's addiction to pot, Robert Yasumura's experience with addiction, and then Dr. And we disagree on a lot of things, and we come close to yelling.
We don't.
Dr. Drew, I got to tell you, I don't know how you guys feel about Dr. Drew, but I used to like that.
I used to respect him and take what he said.
You cannot believe.
I'm not.
You cannot believe the stuff that he says about marijuana on CNN.
Dr. Drew.
And that's all going to be in the premium content.
We don't have time to get to it.
We're at the end of the show.
But guess what?
I'm going to give you a little extra treat.
We cut the Paula Deen call a little short last week because we ran out of time.
I'm going to go ahead and play the whole thing here unedited for you.
We put it in the premium content last week.
Well, let's go ahead and share it with everybody.
Enjoy.
Okay.
So guess what?
I have on the phone with us, we have Paula Deen.
Hi.
Hi, Paula.
Are you there?
Hi, Paula.
Hi, Jimmy.
How you doing, sweetie?
Hey, I...
You're hard.
Hey, you know what?
I heard that we saw some of your apologies.
We listened to some.
And what was going on with your apologies, exactly?
I saw clips of it.
I can't...
I just can't watch it.
What do you mean you saw clips?
They were your apologies.
Could you tell us about your apologies?
How you feel about your apologies?
Well, yes, I did, Jimmy.
I saw the apologies.
There's been some very hurtful lies told about me that I felt I had to address.
Like lies like what?
What kind of lies?
Well, like that I'm a racist.
Well, but you did use racist language, including the N-word, right?
Well, of course, sweetie.
Who hasn't?
Well, lots of...
I'm going to guess lots of people haven't, Paula.
But, Jimmy, you have to understand that when I said to him, I used a very sweet, oh, shucks kind of sort of accent, y'all.
So it's kind of like a compliment.
I doubt when you use racial epitaphs, it's kind of like a compliment.
No, just ask my blackest cold best friend, Hollis, over here.
Where are you, Hollis?
Just so we can see you.
There he is.
See, Paul, this is what I'm talking about.
People hear you talk like that.
And, you know, what they do, they start to think bad things about you.
But they ain't true.
They are true.
I ain't a racist.
I'm just a southern girl.
If I was racist, why would I have a friend who is black because the ace of spades?
Paula, you're doing it again.
He's what I like to call catastrophically black.
No.
Paula, stop.
Just stop it.
You can't say any of this stuff.
It's very offensive, all of it.
Yes.
Yes, all of it.
Please, stop saying it.
I'm just saying that to Hollis and you don't have a problem with it.
Do you, Hollis?
You're my friend, and I don't even care how black you are.
Do you see, Paula, that that's a subtle, what you're doing is very subtle, but it's also very obvious.
You're using Hollis as a shield from legitimate concern about your behavior, language, and your attitude.
But no, I don't care how black he is.
It doesn't bother me a bit.
Do you see that you act as if you're a bigger person because you don't let his blackness bother you?
But he doesn't.
But do you understand that that's not the point, that you don't need to make that point.
Like, just like a black person wouldn't say, I don't care how white you are.
I have a friend who is as white as my bedsheets.
You don't, do you see what I'm saying?
Have you tried some of my new finishing butters available at Walgreens?
No, I haven't tried any.
Butters.
Yeah, I know.
I haven't tried any.
Well, they are delicious.
And you can get them at Walgreens until close of business today.
Right, that's because they're going to drop you, right?
Anyway, listen, can we get back to the topic of racism?
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
Everybody hates somebody.
Whites hate the blacks.
Blacks hate whites.
Puerto Ricans hate Mexicans.
Dutch hate the Finns.
Irish hate the British.
Serbs hate Armenians.
Spanish hate the Portuguese.
And everybody hates Jews.
I don't know what he...
It's the way people are made.
Don't make them bad.
Yes, hating entire groups of people actually does make you a bad person, Paula.
That's exactly what makes you a bad person.
You sound like a Swede or something.
Put the Nordic blood in here.
No, no, no, no.
No.
Now, if you said that you didn't know that the N-word was offensive, right?
Well, when I go into one of my kitchens, all I hear is those little Sambos saying N-word this and N-word that, and it makes my skin crawl.
I see.
See, you can't say Sambos, and you can't...
First, if it makes your skin crawl, how can you be sure that it's not offensive?
Because it's like a crackhead getting close to the cocaine.
I get all itchy and use it, and I...
Mmm, butter.
It's apology.
That is a...
Yeah, I'm an addict, an N-word addict, and I can't use it.
What do you mean you can't?
I don't understand you can't use...
I am going to rehab.
I want to announce this on your show.
Okay.
I'm going to rehab for saying nigger.
Wow.
What?
I didn't...
At the Malibu place that you see on TV, they got a new program for people like me who are addicted to saying the N-word.
Okay.
Well, listen, you know, once you said that you wanted to throw a party...
Yes.
No, wait.
You said you wanted to throw a party, and you wanted all the waiters to dress up like slaves waiting...
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
You wanted them to dress up like slaves, like it was at a big plantation party, and all the black guys would be waiting on the white plantation owners, right?
Well, no, they wanted a nice party.
Why wouldn't it be an antebellum fame party?
That was the best time for white people that ever has been on this planet.
Yeah, but...
Why wouldn't we want to evoke that in a celebratory manner?
was probably one of the worst times for african americans in this country that's why paula you get that well would have been better if we had white servants and just put them in black face no that that would have been just as bad but we're not no that would have been just as bad as is as you can listen you you you're not supposed to glorify the slave culture.
But we're not.
Yeah, so you are when you do that.
And those slaves who worked in Deorgia, they really had it the easiest of all the slaves.
Yeah, I know.
They were like family to us.
Yeah, but what kind of family do you keep in chains?
We didn't keep them in chains when they were here.
Yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is that.
Well, I mean, when we brought them over, they had to, you know, a little bit of that bad business.
But once they were here, they're like, oh, we're home.
Yeah, well, when do you hire your family?
Oh, yeah.
When do you ever hire your family and not pay them?
Well, yeah, that's what it's called chores when my kids were kids.
I didn't pay them to do stuff.
Yeah.
Don't fetch me butter out of the larder.
So listen, so what are your plans going forward?
What is, you know, that's what a lot of sponsors are dropping you.
I didn't even know you were sponsored by some of them like Walgreens, but you know, when you're finishing butters and stuff.
So what are you thinking about doing going forward?
Well, yes, this is a setback, but I've got new sponsors that are going to be behind me.
Like who?
Who are your new sponsors?
Stormfront.org.
I'm going to be doing a cooking show for them.
Okay.
What else?
Who else is going to be?
David Duke campaign.
Yeah.
I'm going to be cooking for him.
Okay, that's predictable.
Anything else?
Anybody, where else are you going to be cooking?
You're going to be cooking up.
I'm doing a Ku Klux Klam bait.
I'm doing a clam bake for the Ku Klux Klan.
Ku Klux Klam Bait.
That's not a fun one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you don't want to cook for all those racists, do you?
Why wouldn't I?
Because they're horrible racist people, the Klan.
That don't make them bad, Jimmy.
Yeah.
That don't make them bad people.
Yeah, it actually does make them bad people, Paula.
You leave them alone.
You want me to leave the clan alone?
Damn, I'm losing so much goddamn money over this.
Yeah, I know.
You're losing a lot of money.
Nobody wants my money.
I know.
Everybody said, we don't want Paula Dean's butter because she's getting big.
I know.
I know.
It's a bad thing.
I know.
It's not fair.
I'll admit that.
It's not fair.
I certainly hope so.
Yeah, I hope you get better.
I have to go console myself.
Okay, you go take care of yourself, Paul.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Okay, there's a little treat from last week's.
That's the entire Paula Dean call that you heard in the premium content last week.
Last week, 52 minutes in the premium content.
And that was just a part of it.
So what are you waiting for?
And Dylan Brody and I were on with that right-wing knucklehead talking about gay marriage.
And Dylan walked off the show out of the studio.
And I hung up on the phone.
And I didn't realize he had walked out of the studio.
Anyway, we tell that story and everything.
That happens in the premium content.
God, it's a funny story.
Plus, there's a lot more stuff.
The guy who tightroped across the Grand Canyon with Joel Olstein as his pastor, and he was on with Piers Morgan.
Plus, what Piers Morgan thinks of Edward Snowden?
What a dick.
I mean, Pierce Morgan.
Anyway, there's a lot more in the premium content this week.
And how do you get that?
You just go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on premium, you donate five bucks, we send you a passcode, and then you have access to all the premium stuff.
Okay, so if you love the show, you'll love that too.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
Okay, I'll see everybody in Las Vegas this week, July 9th through 15th.
I'll be at the LA Comedy Club in Las Vegas inside the Bally's Hotel.
We'll see you there.
Special thanks to our guest, Dylan Brody.
You can check out all his stuff, his new book, his new CD, and all his stuff he does at DylanBrody.com.
Very easy to remember.
Today's show was, oh, by the way, the voices today performed by Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
And of course, the voice of Moron, performed by yours truly.
And the voice of Terese, performed by Steph Zamarano.
Okay, so today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Conniff, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yesamura, Mark Van Landuit, Steph Zamarano, and yours truly.
All right.
Oh, by the way, I want to also remind you that if you have any problems with your Macintosh, our good buddy who donates his time to help the show, it's Sean James.
He'll fix your Macintosh right over the computer.
I mean, the internet on the computer.
You know what I mean?
So you send him an email at SeanJ, MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
That's MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
He spells Sean S-H-A-U-N.
Or you can give him a call at 347-695-0601.
Also, if you're a Jimmy Door show listener and interested in advertising on the Jimmy Door shows, shoot me an email at jimmydoor at earthlink.net and we'll talk about it.
Let's get it going.
Progressives supporting progressives.
Okay, that's it for this week.
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