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March 30, 2013 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
This week, the Supreme Court took up the issue of what to do about California's Proposition 8 and the Federal Defense of Marriage Act.
Both measures now seem not only homophobic, but extremely on hip.
Even the court's conservatives were apparently squeamish about upholding either one and appeared to be looking for a way to throw them both out while still respecting traditional American bigotry.
If we're completely up to them, gays couldn't get married, but corporations could.
Following any Supreme Court decision forces us to root for one of the conservatives to be slightly less full of crap.
Once again, progressive hopes have focused on free-spirited Justice Anthony Kennedy because he really came through for us on Obamacare.
Anyway, that crucial fifth vote probably won't come from Chief Justice Roberts.
He argued that gays are so politically powerful, they no longer suffer any discrimination.
So I guess it's okay for the federal government to take up the slack.
Unfortunately, for the conservative lawyers opposing gay marriage, they had no good arguments because you're not allowed to use the phrase grossed out.
Even Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh have conceded that gay marriage is inevitable, if only because so many of their employees have invited them to their gay weddings.
It's just too bad that Justices Scalia, Roberts, Kennedy, and Alito don't have more black friends.
Maybe then they wouldn't be planning to overturn voting rights and affirmative action.
But you can't have everything.
Thank you.
Wow.
I want my heart to be back.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for the kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk when you're too bad.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
He's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Okay, hi, welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joining the studio next to me from the marijuana logs and nothing else since then.
It's so.
Hey, guys.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Jimmy.
Across the glass from me.
Two former writers for the Daily Show, Steve Rosenfield and Jim Earl.
Jim Earl also.
Hi, Steve.
How are you?
Good.
How are you doing?
Good.
Good.
Good to hear from you.
How was the traffic on the 101?
Terrible.
Oh, I was in.
45 minutes.
Not to interrupt.
I was in the same traffic.
It was late.
I heard it was bad.
Next to him.
So that's Jim Earl, also the author of Morning Remembrance.
Yeah.
One of my favorite straight guys in comedy.
Hilarious.
Hilarious obituaries of real dead people.
And it's Ham Radio's Jim Earl.
Hi, Jim.
Hey, all right.
My eyes are up here.
All right.
Are you looking at his chest sugar?
What are you doing?
On the phone, we have from New York City.
It's from Mystery Science Theater 3000, Cinematic Titanic.com and his new owned podcast.
What's it called, Frank?
Podhouse 90s.
Podhouse 90s.
It's TV's Frank Frank Connoff.
Hey, Frank.
Oh, and part of the Al Jazeera.
You know the difference between Al Jazeera and CNN?
CNN shows the missiles taking off, and Al Jazeera shows when the missiles land.
You know what?
They're lightening up.
I have a hidden camera show that I'm going to be doing here.
Bandit Foxwa.
That sounds fun.
I also have a dating show that I'm developing here.
Jihad Dia.
Hello.
I like that.
I'd watch that one.
My favorite band is Palestinian.
I think they're really about to blow up.
Bang!
And our resident Latina, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, it's the lovely and talented Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
Oh, didn't change your name for a reason.
Hey, you know what, Jimmy?
I just want to remind everybody that I like to think of myself as Sandra Singh Lopez of Pacific America.
Yeah.
All right, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
I got some breaking news, I have to tell you.
Little Wayne was in the hospital.
He was just released from the hospital after getting a little better.
I love that joke.
That's a right my head.
Well-written joke.
The New Town shooter had an NRA instructional manual.
I hate to see the old town shooter.
They found him.
That's just another feather in the cap for the NRA's mass murder mentoring program.
Hey, Frank, did you go to mass on last Palm Sunday?
Yes, actually, that's the only mass where the Catholic Church offers a salad bar.
Palm Sunday, yes.
Did you know the reports are coming out that Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum considered a unity ticket?
They were going to run together, president and vice president.
And just think how that wouldn't have changed the election outcome at all.
What's coming up on today's show?
I kind of had it with the people who were pro the Iraq war or who didn't stand up loud enough against it and are now really angry at the people who sold us the Iraq war, like Chris Matthews.
So we're going to talk about Chris Matthews and his stance on the war.
We're going to talk about the gay marriage in the Supreme Court.
We'll talk about that and the right-wing freakout.
Plus, the guns, Bill O'Reilly's for gay marriage after he was against it.
And there's a lot lot more.
Plus, we got phone calls from John Boehner calls in.
Bill O'Reilly calls in.
Plus, he calls back in drunk.
And we've got a morning remembrance from Jim Earl.
It's all today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Jimmy Dore Show.
Yeah, so I heard Chris Matthews say this last week, and it kind of bugged me.
Good evening, I'm Chris Matthews in Washington.
Let me start tonight with this.
I hated the Iraq War, said so when I saw it coming, have said so since.
The only time I held back from that early criticism, which began when I saw the run-up coming, was in the early days of the actual occupation when it looked like our forces were being well received, when I had no real choice but to route that the losses our forces had suffered already were being justified.
Who in this country would not have held that hope, especially after it was too late to do anything else?
I would much rather emerge.
Okay, so I don't know if you, that's him trying to pretend that he was a full-throated adversary of the Iraq war, which he was not.
And then as soon as the war started, he could not been a bigger cheerleader.
And so what he just said there was he was apologizing for that.
Of course, I was on board after the war.
Who couldn't be?
And he may sound like his moment of poor judgment was a small window.
Yes, that's right.
Right.
And also, you know, he's saying when it looked like we were being well received, it only looked that way if you were getting the crap information that the networks were presenting.
There was already information that we weren't being well received.
So his idea that you couldn't have possibly come to any other conclusion when the war was first happening is just totally bogus.
So I, so you're, Frank, you are correct.
And I scoured the internet trying to find clips from him talking about the Iraq war after the Iraq war started.
And I'm going to tell you, either he somehow scrubbed it from the internet.
There is nothing.
There is nothing to be found.
There's transcripts of what he said.
Yes, there's transcripts.
So if you do a Nexus Lexis search, you can find a transcript, which is what I have, and I'll read some of that later.
But I did find this.
He sat down in 2002, the end of 2002, when Phil Donahue still had his job at MSNBC.
They sat down together.
And, well, I think it's interesting.
Phil Donahue was a full-throated critic of the Iraq war.
He pushed back as hard as he can.
In fact, they fired him for it, right?
Because they wanted him to have, for every liberal he had on his show, he had to have two conservatives who were against the war.
And he wouldn't do it.
Chris Matthews did.
He didn't have any problem.
Every time you turned on Chris Matthews, there was nothing but right-wingers on there who were pro-war, right?
I mean, he could only have one conservative was if he had had Chris Christie, because he would have counted his two.
Yeah, he counts as two.
He counts as two.
So I found this.
So here is Chris Matthews sitting down with Phil Donahue.
And Phil Donahue has a problem with the way Chris Matthews' style of journalism.
And he says this.
I do think that the Beltway boys, you included.
Oh, geez.
Actually, I do live out inside the Beltway.
And I mean, I think you dine with the people in power.
You have beers with the people in power.
And pretty soon, not going to last eight years at least.
I don't think you're tough enough.
I think it's like fraternization in the Army.
You know, you can't shoot a guy after he's shown you a picture.
I'm almost finished.
I'm sorry.
You can't shoot a guy after he's shown you a picture of his kids.
That's why you go to the break for fraternization.
If you start sharing cigarettes with the enemy.
I think you guys are all of a bunch.
All these.
I don't think that I don't think the press corps barks loud enough.
I don't think it's tough enough.
We certainly have occasions on the op-ed pages where people throw people up against the wall, and it's a wonderful thing when it happens.
But essentially, I think we've got to go along, get along.
I think, first of all, and for that, Phil Donahue had to go.
Okay, so that was it.
You can't do that.
And by the way, Phil just mentioned.
I've never heard that.
I've never heard that clip before.
That is amazingly truthful, what Phil Donahue was saying.
Very stark to hear someone speak such truth on a national newscast.
And that's why he had to get, it's why they fired him.
And he had the highest show on the street.
He had the highest ratings show on MSNBC.
You are correct.
Chris Matthews is like laughingly, like nervously laughing his way through this because he knows he's right.
All he could do is like, ha ha, which is like proving two points kind of.
Yeah, he's just kind of, Matthews just kind of says.
He's like, it's a party.
He's like, yeah, come on, look at my bank account.
Come on, seriously.
Would you look at my bank account?
Or like, look over there.
I think what Chris Matthews is thinking is like, and this is bad because why?
Why is that bad that we didn't push?
And he did, Phil Donahue did mention Chris's two favorite things, going along and getting along.
So Phil's always thought it was like this soft housewife-friendly interviewer, but he like he hit O'Reilly hard.
He hit about Phil Donahue.
Yeah, yeah.
So and here's what, and now here's what Chris Matthews, this is how he sees things, ready?
You know, I really do think we have a different attitude about the world in this country.
I think you are a very good critic of this country.
You're an excellent critic.
You're like Michael Moore.
You find all the things that's wrong with us.
You're excellent about the corporate dealmaking and the failure to protect blue-card jobs and all that.
You're very good at that.
Yeah, yeah, he's a great critic.
In most other countries, you'd be put in prison for that.
But in America, we have freedom of speech, so I'll just get you fired from your job.
Fair enough.
Hey, guys, he's got, so here goes Chris Maharaj.
You know what, Jimmy?
Yes.
Can I say one thing?
You know, like my grandmother once said, Michael Moore, I don't like him.
He's just too angry.
And it's like, why wouldn't you be up in arms about things that are going wrong in America?
That's why I don't like to learn because I'll just get the news on cable news shows aren't nearly angry enough.
That's the problem.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Well, here, we're going to get to the angry part.
Here we go.
But I think it's always, the glass is always half empty, Dio.
It's always half empty.
You're always negative.
And I think that's a problem.
As he's criticizing a war, Chris Matthews is upset that Phil's being a little negative.
I've heard so many women say that to me.
That you're being too negative.
Yeah, right before they break up.
Glass is always half empty with you, Jim.
Really?
And then now I know I have people like you backing me up.
Thanks a lot, man.
So you think Chris Matthews is getting ready to give Phil the Heath Hoe, and he did.
Yeah.
Hang on, he keeps going.
Hang up.
I disagree with that point of view.
I think this is the greatest country in the world with some flaws to say.
Don't criticize me.
No, I think it's a point of view that starts with this.
I am blessed.
Because I think you use all the accidents.
You're always looking, finding evidence to argue there's something wrong with this country.
And I think this country is a good country with flaws.
And you think this country is essentially wrong on most issues.
Oh, boy.
Let's see some democratic things that this guy just tears apart.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Frank, but didn't Chris Matthews just do the dirty, underhanded trick that every right-winger does when you criticize something about our government?
Yes, you don't love America.
You hate America.
Look for the, all you do as a journalist is your job, and that's wrong.
Right.
You're supposed to be nice to people and, hey, how bad can a country be where I get paid a fortune just to go on TV and say how great it is?
However, they rip on Obamacare.
They rip on this administration.
This is a moment in history when we're going to war, too.
And Chris's big problem is, why are you being so negative?
As we prepare to invade a country, why can't you find the good things?
Yes.
You know what he points out that you keep providing evidence for your position.
Yes.
You keep it.
It's very annoying to him.
Very annoying.
Very negative.
So this is the kind of thing that when Chris Matthews says that I hated the war from the start, you know, you might have said that you weren't on board for the war, but he was against the war like this.
Hey, I don't think the war is a good idea, but if you guys decide to go, I'm all for it.
I'm all for it.
Exactly, exactly.
That's exactly how he was against the war.
I'm against the war.
I'm against war.
But if you guys go to war, I'm all for it.
I'm on board.
I like this guy.
I like our president.
I like the troops.
You know, I don't like these Hobbit movies, but if all my friends are going, I'll tag along.
So that's Chris Matthew.
So it goes on.
So it goes on.
Here, he's got some more to say, ready?
I think what's made this country uniquely successful and the reason why everybody in the world, whatever ethnic group they are, wants to come here, whether it's the poor Haitians or the wealthy South Asians or whatever, the best educated people, least educated, all want to come here.
Because this society offers the greatest social mobility for people who just got here to move to the top.
Change your name, adopt a new identity, become a success when you're Ralph Lauren or you're Carrie Grant or anybody.
Come to this country that works for so many people.
And I think that immense freedom is not just in the Constitution.
It's in our society.
And the best part of our society, as you point out accurately, is making sure the government respects personal freedom absolutely as much as possible.
And we are a great country because of those things.
We're also a pioneering country.
We're a country that's willing to go it alone.
We're willing to be unpopular.
We're willing to do the right thing.
And most of the time, the world says the Yanks are crude, savage cowboys.
But when World War I came along, World War II, Bosnia came along, they said, come on in, you boy scouts, and save us again.
And we're called in to save the day so many times because we are essentially a good country.
I think you don't think that.
Okay, so there he is doing a McCarthy.
He's doing the most underhanded thing you could do in America.
The beauty of America is that you get to criticize our government.
You just can't do it on MSNBC between 2001 and 2005.
And there is Chris Matthews giving it a stiff, sticking it to Phil Donahue.
Yeah, we're essentially a good country, Phil, which comes in handy when you're doing a lot of really bad shit.
And also the fact that he says, and we're willing to go it alone.
And he's saying that exactly in our history when we did go it alone, basically, into Iraq.
It was the biggest mistake we'd ever made.
So there he is saying, I'm against the war, but, hey, isn't it great that we're willing to do this?
We're willing to go it alone.
We're willing to save, we saved the world.
This is on the eve.
Like the concept of going to war with Iraq.
Here's my point about how great America is: is that we're willing to go to war.
Right.
It's all about us going to war is his biggest point that he can make about how great we are, what great cowboys we are.
We're innovators because we are preemptive.
And he also seemed to leave out Vietnam.
He seemed to leave out Vietnam.
I think he meant to.
I think the greatest thing about America is that we can call other people un-American.
Yeah.
That's what it seems like Chris thinks.
Jim Earle, why don't you like America?
Why won't you ever say anything nice about America Ferrara?
This country's got some pretty sweet.
So what he's so you can see now why it drove me crazy to hear Chris Matthews come on and say, I hated this war.
I was going to get it from the bed.
And he's so angry at all the people who started it now.
And I'm like, wait a minute.
You're the one shouting down the people who are actually standing up against the war.
And so here he was.
But he writes a column where he says he's against the war.
So he's got that back.
He loves to play both sides of every issue.
Oh, yeah, we're the greatest country in the world because people can come in from all over the world and make money.
Money that helps us pay for our hopeless quagmires, Chris.
That's why the money they're making.
All right, so here we go.
Jimmy, are you surprised by this?
I was, yes.
I was that Chris Matthews?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah, because he you can't, there's no tape of him.
This is the only tape I've ever been able to tell.
But in general, like, who's this for?
I'm not surprised.
I'm not surprised.
No, what I'm surprised at is that he's getting away with being rewriting history.
He's rewriting history on his show almost every night now because of the 10-year Iraq war.
He's been coming on every night saying stuff like that.
I'm going to play another clip later in the segment of him again beating up the people who he feels are responsible for the Iraq war.
I think he is just as much responsible because he was the one doing the most underhanded, nefarious, slimy thing you could do to someone who was protesting a war.
You call him un-American.
You say they hate America.
And did you see him lump in Michael Moore?
You dislike Michael Moore.
Oh, really?
So he's trying...
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
So I just want to put it in context.
Yes.
So here, so here.
And I think he always wants to come off so reasonable.
You know, like the sage.
What Chris Matthews does is he always wants to be on the side of power.
Yes, no matter who is in.
And you may be getting into this later in the show, but when Bush, when it looked like the war was going well, nobody praised the mission accomplished moment more than Chris Matthews.
I remember him calling George W. Bush a great wartime president.
I remember him comparing his speeches to Winston Churchill.
Nobody praised Bush during the war more than Chris Matthews.
And that's why he's a fan of Obama.
It's kind of the same thing in a way because it's not that Obama's a liberal.
It's that Obama is someone who is a very adept politician.
He's an adept politician.
He's really skillful at getting power.
And Chris Matthews wants to be a part of that.
One last point.
You know, he talked about greatest social mobility, that we have that, and that welcomes a lot of people to our country.
But I just don't think that stands true any longer.
That might have been something once upon a time, but when he's saying this in 2002, there was a lot of social mobility.
Mainly because of the war that he helped support when it happened that it ruined our economy.
Well, I like how he's so, you know, Phil Donahue's whole point is that the media is too soft on our leaders and that you guys aren't hard enough on them.
And I'll give you a quick little example of how he's right about this.
I was watching the press the meet with David Gregory and he had on the Archbishop from Chicago and they were talking about, oh, here's what he says to the archbishop.
David Gregory is Jewish.
And they appointed a new pope, a pope that is now the head of the biggest child rape organization the world has ever known.
And it's been going on for God knows how long.
And it's still going on right now.
And none of the bishops have ever gone to prison.
They've never even been charged.
The Catholic Church, the Catholic Church is basically Nambla with a budget.
Yes.
Well, it's like Nambla means mafia.
And so here's what David Gregory.
So they get a new pope, and you figure that the newsmen would be like, well, you know, they got a lot of problems.
This guy's just, he's part of it.
He's all part of this.
Hey, they're still subjugating women.
Hey, by the way, they're still bigoted towards gays.
Hey, this is a backwards organization in a lot of ways, plus the child rape thing.
Here's what David Gregory says to the bishop about the new pope.
Here's David Gregory.
If you can describe the sense of spiritual renewal that you feel with Pope Francis, I'm not Catholic, but I was certainly caught up in that sense of renewal that I think Catholics and non-Catholics feel alike when you have such an important transition like this.
So he's not even Catholic, but he gets caught up in it.
I'm a newsman.
I'm not staying objective.
Why is he grilling him?
Leave the man alone.
The other guy was such a Nazi.
Maybe it's just like that.
By the way.
I agree.
I agree with his sense of renewal because I had a sense of renewal of how much I hated the Catholic Church.
So here is Phil Donahue coming back.
Here he comes back at Chris Matthews, right?
Is this country a good country when Congress is going to send a half a million young men and women to war to put a shiv in the belly of some guy we don't?
Yes, that's what a newsman says, and here's what a sycophant suck up to power says.
This is a good country.
Creating havoc as you yourself.
This is a good country.
I'm susceptible to mistakes and weak bad leadership.
So why can't I?
So here's Chris Matthews on every side of the issue.
Here's a newsman doing journalism, saying what he thinks.
And here's Chris Matthews screaming, screaming over him.
This is a good country.
The government is supposed to say that.
The government is supposed to say it's a good country.
His eyes are closed as he's saying it.
This is a good country.
Yes, that's exactly all propaganda.
Isn't that what a newsman screams right before an illegal war?
Isn't that what he screams at the top of his lungs?
This is a great, he's screaming over him.
Or I'm a good person right before you hit the gas chamber.
Yes.
I object.
I object to the war.
I hate to see all these people die needlessly, but come on, this is a great country.
You're going it alone.
Yeah, and why are you so negative, Phil?
I think I want to use his excuse for now on.
I'm just susceptible to mistakes.
I like that.
that's why you're married.
It's like the country.
I love that.
It's like, yeah, we do illegal wars.
It was a mistake.
It wasn't a mistake.
It was done on purpose.
Well, you know what?
It's for the good of the overall good.
Yeah, so they're happy.
Slaves were happy.
So he loves to say, he loves to say how he's against the war, and then he goes on a tirade about what a great country we are because we're willing to go in and invade other countries when other people are.
He's playing every win.
No other country says it's cool.
He plays every side of this.
So this is why it's driving me crazy.
He says this now.
I've generally been pretty tough on these guys.
I don't think it's fair to call me part of the collaborating with the enemy.
You know, that's not my reputation.
I got a reputation putting up for being a loner, I think.
Not kissing up to the right people.
A lone nut.
He's got a reputation of being a loner and not kissing up to the right people.
I like Phil's like.
Right.
So here.
Right.
Not like, right.
So here's a real tough guy.
Here's Chris Matthews right a couple of days after Mission Accomplished.
Ready?
Here's.
I like him.
Everybody sort of likes the president except for the real whack jobs, maybe on the left.
I mean, like him personally.
Really?
And I played that because what he just said was this.
I've generally been pretty tough on these guys.
I don't think it's fair to call me part of the collaborating with the enemy.
You know, that's not my reputation.
I got a reputation putting up for being a loner, I think.
Not kissing up to the right people.
I like him.
Everybody sort of likes the president except for the real whack jobs, maybe on the left.
I mean, like him personally.
So there you go.
And I just want to, when he says he's been tough, he's been tough on everybody.
So there you go.
He hasn't.
Amy Goodman, the 10-year anniversary of MSNBC, she went on MSNBC and she said this to Chris about Philo.
One thing before I answer that question.
He said, since you said all the executives are up on the top of the rock, I want to congratulate you, Chris, on 10 years at MSNBC, but I wish standing with you is Phil Donahue.
He shouldn't have been fired for an expressing an anti-war point of view on the eve of the election.
His point of view and the people he brought on were.
I don't know what the reason for, but I doubt it was that.
Rolly?
He says, I don't know what the reasons were, but I doubt it was that.
10 years later, Chris, you haven't done an investigation as to why Phil Donahue, the number one show on your network, got canceled?
You really don't know.
You doubt it was that?
But you didn't do any looking.
This is the essence of Chris Matthews: he's one of the most incredibly dishonest people you'll ever see.
At least some of the people on Fox, like Sean Hannity, at least is who he is.
And just no matter what happens, he's the crazy jerk who he always is.
But Chris Matthews is much more dishonest than that.
He always tries to go with whichever way the wind is blowing.
And I find him more offensive and more insidious than even the worst Fox newspaper.
I couldn't agree with you more because he pretends to be something he's not.
He pretends to be everything.
It's like you're watching a news show for facts, supposedly, or to learn, and you're getting it from the most incredibly dishonest person around.
He could not be more...
And it's like he says, I stand up to these guys.
I don't kiss up.
And I'm going to miss you, Phil Donahue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you're out of here.
Yeah, I stand up to the suits, especially when my contract's up for renewal.
Yeah.
He says, he says, I'm, you know, I'm considered a loner.
Yeah, he wanted to be alone on MSNBC.
Yeah.
That's why he got rid of Phil Donahue.
So she just said to him, you should be standing here with Phil Donahue shouldn't have been fired for standing up against the war.
He said, I don't think that's what it was.
And then here's what Amy Goodman says back.
You have the NFC NBC memo.
That was a secret memo that came out that said they didn't want him to be the fate of this network, an anti-war face at a time when the other one had to warn the game.
I think you might talk about it.
So he just talked right over her.
He didn't want to.
Can we talk about the question?
So there was some other question that he wanted to have answered.
Can we just, can we stop this now?
Because this makes me look bad.
Can you cut it out?
Phil Donahue got fired not because he was against the war, but he got fired because he loved terrorists.
Okay?
Let's all keep that in mind.
He was queer for a memo that got discovered from MSNBC that said that we can't have Phil Donahue be the face of MSNBC because the country's pro-war and he's against the war.
That memo came out, and he was fired when he had the number one show on the network.
I owe Jay Leno an apology.
So here is why.
Because he's the biggest spineless guy in the show business is this guy.
And now we're reading from the book Morning Remembrance, Funny Obituaries of Real Dead People by Jim Earle.
Ronald Howes, inventor of the Easy Bake Oven.
Ronald Howes, inventor of Kenner's Easy Bake Oven, finally burst an artery last week after waiting three aggravating months for a 30-watt bulb to cook his goddamn brownie.
Friends say the toy oven inventor lived a long, productive life before dying at 83 degrees.
Howes first got the idea for his invention in 1963 after realizing that any nation dumb enough to swallow the lone gunman theory was more than willing to let their children be swindled by a cheap plastic box with a light bulb in it.
Howes' first job at Ketter Toys was to remove potentially poisonous chemicals from cans of Play-Doh and inject them into the sad withered teeth of Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow.
That was a lot funnier when I wrote it.
Howes also invented Kenner's Easy Tan, where kids could create their own tan simply by mixing water with packets of John Boehner's skin flakes.
Later, he helped perfect the spirograph, a toy that used a set of precision plastic gears, rings, and triangles to geometrically depict the downward spiral of Spiro Egg News' political career.
Very topical.
Spiro Eggnew.
He's a Spiro Eggnew right now.
He's coming back.
He's coming back.
Jesus, in 2008, almost 1 million Easy Bake ovens had to be recalled for safety reasons.
Apparently, children were suffering serious lacerations when they tried to force the family cat into the broiler.
Howes requested his body be inserted into the side of the local crematorium, pushed out a slot at the other end, and consumed by a generation of kids, families seeking to fill the bottomless void of their loveless childhood.
Two more, two more.
Thank you.
That was Jim Earle reading from the book Morning Remembrance, Funny Obituaries of Real Dead People, which can be found at JimEarl.com.
Hey, everybody, guess who's got a new dog?
And I could not be happier.
Little Brownie makes me so happy.
He's a good boy.
Although he's a little sick today.
It's all right, though.
All right, I wanted to share that with you.
If you don't have a dog, get one.
How do you not like dogs?
I know some people are allergic.
But if you're not.
But if you're not allergic, go ahead and get one.
Do yourself a favor.
Right now, it's time for me.
People say, Jimmy, how do we help support the show?
Well, the easiest way, the way it doesn't cost you any money, there's a way that doesn't cost you any money.
Yes.
The next time you want to buy something from Amazon.com, think about the Jimmy Door show, and you swing over to JimmyDoorComedy.com and you use our Amazon.com box.
And then when you go to Amazon and you buy something, they send us some money.
See, it doesn't cost you anything, doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon, but it sure does help support the show.
It's the easiest way to do it.
People always ask, is our money really get to you?
It really does get to us.
So if you swing by JimmyDoorComedy.com, you see our Amazon.com box.
You click on it, it takes you to Amazon, and then you bookmark that page.
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You don't have to go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
That is the easiest and best way to help support the show.
There's also a premium membership, which I'll tell you about at the end of the show.
Okay, now let's get back to the second half.
Hey, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in the studio by the former writers for the Daily Show.
It's Steve Rosenfield and Jim Earl is with us on the phone from New York from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
And now the John Fuglesang show, it's Frank Conniff is with us.
Also in the studio, we have the host of Comedy Everything Else, Steph Zamorano, and from the marijuana logs, it's Tony Kameen.
And we're continuing our conversation about Chris Matthews' rewriting of his own history, about his support for George Bush and the Iraq war.
He's very against it now.
But we found a videotape where Phil Donahue interviews Chris Matthews.
This is from 2002, right before the Iraq War.
And Phil Donahue is accusing Chris Matthews of being too cozy with government and the people in power and not being hard enough on our leaders.
And in return, Chris Matthews said that Phil Donahue was un-American, didn't love America enough.
And now here we go.
And Chris Matthews is trying to defend himself for not being tough enough.
And that's the accusation that Phil Donahue has hurled at him.
And here we go.
I don't think I'm one of you guys or one of you Beltway guys.
I mean, I think that's ludicrous.
He doesn't, Frank, did you hear what he said?
He doesn't think he's one of the Beltway guys.
No, no.
Chris Matthews.
Chris Matthews, who actually lives inside the Beltway and dines with politicians every night of his life.
That's like, I go to Washington as a cop.
I work my way up.
I get jobs.
I'm a writer.
I'm a critic.
I've generally written stuff anti-government.
In a lot of cases, I basically could have been accused.
I'm too concerted by a lot of my liberal friends because I'm tough when government.
I'm suspicious of government and power.
You know, I think Lord Acton was right.
Power tends to corrupt, absolutely power corrupts, absolutely.
I'm damn tough about the rot at the top.
So here he is playing both sides again.
Here he is.
Phil, why you got to be so negative?
I'm really hard.
I'm hard enough.
Phil, why are you so hard?
I'm hard.
Why are you so hard?
Yeah, why?
Don't be.
So I'm just going to read some quotes right now that he made after the invasion.
This is Chris Matthews.
Throw in one more C1 and see if your listeners can find out which one is Chris.
Chris Matthews, one of his, so you can't get tape of any of this stuff.
You can only get transcripts.
And here's what he says.
He says, we're all neocons now.
That's what he said after the invasion of Iraq.
We are all neocons now, he said.
And then he said, we are proud of our president.
Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton or Mike Dukakis or Mondale.
All those guys, McGovern.
They want a guy who's president.
Women like a guy who's president.
Check it out.
The women like this war.
I think we like having a hero as our president.
It's simple.
We're not like the Brits.
Chris Matthews said that on May 1st, 2003 on his own show.
He's sitting there.
Oh, yeah.
You know, and that's what's called homo.
On his first show, one of his first shows after the Iraqin, after the mission accomplished photo op, he said, well, you know what?
We're in the midst of a war, and it's a very serious thing.
So I have to take what I do with great gravitas.
So who should I have on my show?
I know G. Gordon Liddy, a convicted felon.
So he has him on.
And we're going to talk about how everybody who criticizes this war is a wimp.
He said, Frank, G. Gordon Liddy was on, and they were watching the mission accomplished.
And G. Gordon Liddy said to Chris Matthews, after all, Al Gore had to go get some women to tell him how to be a man.
And here comes George Bush.
You know, he's in his flight suit.
He's striding across the deck and he's wearing his parachute harness, you know.
And I've worn those because I parachute and it makes the best of his manly characteristic.
I think I know what everybody's getting at.
And then Chris Matthews said, yeah, that's the president looking very much like a jet, you know, a high-flying jet star, a guy who is a jet pilot.
He's been in the past and when he was younger, obviously, he won the war.
He was an effective commander.
Everybody recognizes that.
I believe, except for a few critics, here's a president who's really nonverbal.
He's like Eisenhower.
He looks great in a military uniform.
He looks great in that cowboy costume.
He wears it when he goes west.
I have not seen that kind of homoeroticism on a news show ever.
Those two guys, I bet they had boners and were rubbing themselves underneath the table.
Matthews is always starstruck by everything.
He looks through at everything through the lens of a movie, a shitty movie producer.
Because everything, he couches everything as if he were looking at it in a movie theater.
And people are stars to him.
Yes, he is starving.
He's obsessed with the Oscars.
Chris Matthews, who said what you just read and many other things, there's many other examples of him saying stuff like that.
He is now portraying himself as the war's biggest critic.
Yes, that's what's driving me crazy.
Well, here's what really drove me crazy, right?
So I heard him say this last week, and I almost fell off my couch.
Here's what he said.
You have a couch?
Yes, I do.
Something foreign to this country took over in those years, 2001 to 2003.
We were susceptible, of course, teed up after 9-11, and there were people in the government and pushing for an outside ideologues all who wanted this war and didn't care what damage it did, including to our country's reputation as an enemy of aggression, a country that fights when one country invades another, fights the invader.
This time, we were the invader, and nobody yelled, hey, this isn't our part.
This isn't what we Americans do.
Well, some of us yelled, but maybe we should have done more.
Laid out there on the train tracks or whatever you do to sound the alarm of protests and a democracy.
Chris, there were some people laying on the train tracks.
It was Phil Donahue, and you were in the train saying, run over that motherfucker.
And there were lots of other people laying on those train tracks.
And the one thing they all have in common is none of them were ever on your show.
Yes.
This is Chris Matthews bravely standing up against all the hypocrisy that got him where he is today.
I got it.
When are you going to do an Andrea Mitchell show?
All about Andrea Mitchell?
Sleeping with that horrific fossil head of the federal government.
And the thing that's really, that's Really enraging is that in a time like when we're going to war with Iraq, you know, being patriotic is usually, or I've seen it frequently portrayed as an act of bravery, you know.
And so when we're going to war, this trumped up war, the most patriotic thing you can do is to be brave and speak out against it.
You know, just saying don't be negative is the least patriotic thing.
That's the least patriotic.
You're right.
He goes on.
Now he really gets indignant.
Listen, he gets indignant.
Should have caused real trouble for the drumbeaters for war.
Those who now hang back in their bogus think tanks at endless meetings and low-grade war hawking as if they weren't the ones who did this to the 77,000 people killed by this war and what they did to our country.
Wow, he's really angry now, isn't he, Frank?
Yeah, he's oh, he's so indignant about the war that a few crazy whack jobs, as he described them, opposed back then.
Yes, those who hang back in their think tanks or maybe host their MSNBC shows, Chris, pretending they never said all that stuff.
Fortunately, it's hard to find the videotape, so it's almost like you never said it.
It's like trying to find videotape of the first two years of the daily show with Craig Kilbourne.
Yeah.
If possible, been erased.
They've been erased.
And of course, my capper to the Chris Matthews segment, which is, I know it went on a long time.
I warned everybody at the top.
But this is, Frank, did you ever see this clip of him talking with Phil Donahue?
Yes, I saw it this past week.
Yes.
Okay, I just found it this past week, too.
So here.
So here he was a couple of, he was last year at a symposium, and here's what he said about the Iraq war.
I mean, I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how we went to war with Iraq, why we had the Iraq war, where the president of limited rhetorical and intellectual skills was able to talk us into a war.
And the non-critical factor of the media is...
Well, he looked good in that outfit.
It showed his manhood.
Am I the only one?
You look good.
You were staring at his cock.
Limited intellectual and rhetorical skills.
So what George Bush did was get Chris Matthews and every other news anchor to make his arguments for him.
So the dumb guy swayed this guy.
Yeah.
So yes.
Yes, that's exactly Tony.
Good point.
Yes.
Thanks, Jim.
We're in critical media today.
The media today is totally different than it was in 22 going into that war buildup.
There would be questioning on MS. There'd be arguments on Fox, on CNN.
People would be looking at it, listening to the neocon drumbeat.
They'd be hearing Crystal and Wolfwitz make their case and say, wait a minute, there's a clutch of people here pushing this war.
This country doesn't want more.
They want this war.
That group of ideologues want this war.
We would see it.
We would question this conflation of Iraq with what happened on 9-11.
We wouldn't allow the people to say, let's get even for 9-11 and go to war with a country that had nothing to do with it.
There would be critical, in-depth analysis of the arguments put forth by the administration, and they would be challenged.
And I would like to think there'd be a reckoning that we didn't have then because of modern media.
24-7 is good because it's not only breadth, it's depth and depth of argument and critical argument on the air.
No more of this.
The president said this.
Let's get embedded with his thinking.
No, wait a minute.
Let's question his thinking.
So what he's saying, I don't know if you realize what he's saying.
He's saying that we wouldn't have the Iraq war now because now we have cable news.
pretending there wasn't cable news in 2003 when we went to war in Iraq, and he didn't have a show.
He literally said this in public.
Oh, it's too bad there weren't any 24-hour cable news networks back then, Chris.
Or you can bet they would have carefully examined Bush's war-mongering propaganda and, hey, wait a minute.
I think there was a cable loop.
Okay, so that's where we're going to end our discussion on Chris Matthews' insanity.
But there's actually more to talk about.
We have more clips to play of him.
It gets even crazier.
It really does.
I know it's hard to believe.
We're going to put that in the premium content for this week, okay, because we're running out of time.
And it's very easy.
How did you get the premium content?
I'll tell you at the end of the show, but very quickly, you just become a $5 donator over at JimmyDoorComedy.com, and that gives you access to all the premium audio.
All right, let's get back to the show.
Okay, John Boehner called me.
I don't know if he...
Had one too many last night.
Big meeting with the party leaders.
So bored, I drag myself blotto.
Everybody's squealing like pigs that were losing the polls over the gay marriage issue.
Worried that Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell might come out in support of it.
I'd say we don't back down from our principles.
We're doing God's work because that freeloader is too lazy to do it himself.
Bader.
Price song over.
The only voice I can bear hearing is Harry Reed.
And they're busting my ass about future voters for the party.
Apparently, we have to reach out to blacks so they'll start voting Republican.
After 56 years of voter suppression, that's going to be one hell of a PR campaign.
I know Lindsey Graham's doing his homework.
At his office, I saw a videotape of the documentary Balcom Triple X. I think that's related.
That sounds like gay porn to me.
We need to get the Hispanics, which is easy.
Just send out an old white guy to dress, build submissions, and hand out shots of the old veto.
They'll be kissing our rings.
Oh, Vader.
My head feels like it has a dent in it.
Let me check my messages.
Wouldn't permit Romney.
Delete.
Have to attend a meet and greet with CPAC contributors.
They're a pack of C's, all right.
I get it.
Three o'clock.
Double R and shake video with the House of Representatives.
Old fishface McConnell wants to do lunch.
Good one.
Wants to tell me stories for what he was in the Army.
Says he wants to convert me.
I didn't know he was that religious.
Last thing I remember is Eric Kander standing over me calling me an oopa loopa with a black marker in his hand.
They wouldn't.
They did.
All over my fucking face.
Last time I had a cock drawed on my face, I was a member of a fraternity that didn't allow blacks.
I have to put on more spray tan.
Hey, I hear you've got a lady from The Onion on there today.
I hope she does more than just call everyone cunts.
All right, Jimmy, I gotta go.
Lindsey Graham invited me over to his mom's basement to watch Jack Reacher.
Okay.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
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Thank you.
So the Supreme Court is entertaining two gay marriage cases this week.
Big mistake.
And it always brings.
By entertaining, do you mean they're doing a cabaret act?
That's what I meant.
They got Bette Middler's going to be there.
She's going to flash everybody.
And so it always brings out the backward a-holes who decide it's time to take a stand against tolerance and equal protection.
And they go out in front of the Supreme Court and they give speeches.
And here is the guy who is the, he's the president of the National Organization for Marriage.
His name is Reverend William Owens, and he's a black guy.
And here's what he has to say about gay marriage.
And I tell you today that every family America can't take anymore.
We cannot stand anymore.
And for the other side to try to change the definition of marriage is devastating to all of our families.
So there's a black guy who thought for civil rights who uses that experience to then discriminate against other groups of people.
It's ironic.
That's what I say when people go, oh, yeah, Barack Obama, you got to vote for him.
He came out for gay marriage.
Hey, it only took three years for the first black president to realize we shouldn't discriminate against groups of people.
I don't think you should be patting yourself on the back for that one, Barack.
But here's another guy who didn't even get that far.
And he actually went through the civil rights movement.
And he's again.
Yeah, straight people committing adultery, we don't mind.
But gays getting married, it's against God's plan.
It's against God's plan.
And it's nice that he's in bed with the Republicans on this one because you can really count on them to have your back, Mr. Black Guy.
Yeah.
Is he wearing cotton mixed with linen?
I don't know what that means.
It's in the Bible.
That's a no-no.
Oh, is that a no-no?
So Reince Priebus, so they're caught between a rock and a hard place, right?
Because they got to be against gay marriage, but they somehow want to get people to think they're not maniacs.
And so here's Rank's Priebus, and here's what he said.
Pronounce Regis Philman.
What are you doing?
He says, what are you doing?
He was asking.
Good one, Tony.
What are you doing for me?
That was a nice one, Tony.
Your first of the day.
So here is, they asked him, what are you doing to reach out to gays?
And here's what he said.
You know, I think it's about being decent.
I think it's about dignity and respect.
That nobody deserves to have their dignity diminished or people don't deserve to be disrespected.
Yeah, that doesn't sound empty or hollow at all.
It's all about being decent.
It's about being a decent bigot, right?
Who managed to be discriminatory without disrespecting you?
We still believe gays are second class and immoral, but come on, vote for us and we'll give you a tax break.
See, I think the Republicans need to reach around more to gays.
It's not like you can still discriminate against gay people and repress them, but just, you know, when they tell you you're gay, just in a really nice way, say, that's super.
I'm with you on that.
I think that's nice.
Hey, people don't deserve to be disrespected, and that includes the fans.
Right?
Too soon.
Hey, I promise you that we can put up with, we can stomach the gays.
We're already kind of putting up with Mexicans, right?
So we're changing.
The Pope washed some kind of thing's feet.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah.
So there's problems.
They don't.
It's funny to watch them kind of go all over the place on this, right?
Because there's a bunch of Republicans who are now, even the majority of Republicans are for gay marriage.
In polling, 53% of Republicans are for it, right?
So here's Bill O'Reilly from 2005.
Here's how he used to talk about gay marriage.
This is what he used to say about gay marriage.
The secular progressive movement would like to have marriage abolished, in my opinion.
They don't want it because it's not diverse enough.
You know, that's what this gay marriage thing is all about.
But now, you know, the polyamorphous marriage, whatever they call it, you can marry 18 people.
You can marry a duck.
I mean, well, why?
You know, if you're in love with the duck, who is a society to tell you you can't do that?
Okay, so he's being hilarious, right?
Well, you can't blame someone for changing their opinion on this because this social issue, like a big ship, is turning right now, but it's how he does it.
Right, yes.
First of all, I can't.
I would say, Lou, I would say to Bill, why a duck?
Yeah, yeah.
Lord love a duck.
Great Roddy McGowell.
Here he is.
He kind of says that again.
You let everybody get married who want to get married.
You want to marry a turtle, you can.
See, now it's not just ducks, Frank.
And actually, you can't.
You can't marry.
But you know why you got to come down on turtles are good people.
Nothing in the rule book.
Oh, wait a minute.
Yertle was gay.
What's that?
Yurdle.
Yertle the turtle.
Yurdle the turtle, gay.
Hop on pop, remember that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
That was.
And turtles turned.
I had a turtle once I made love to.
It's nice.
He'd roll on his back, let me eat him up.
You went too far with that one.
That's like one of my bad jokes.
I know.
So here.
So now that the tide has swung, right?
And most Americans are in favor of gay marriage.
Even Republicans are for marriage equality.
And like all good charlatans, Bill O'Reilly changes his stance.
And here's what he says now.
The compelling argument is on the side of homosexuals.
That's where the compelling argument is.
We're Americans.
We just want to be treated like everybody else.
That's a compelling argument.
And to deny that, you've got to have a very strong argument on the other side.
The other side hasn't been able to do anything that's something to buy that.
Okay, so now Bill sees the light all of a sudden before.
What, do you want to marry a duck?
Now he knows that you got no argument.
What do you do?
Thump the Bible?
Because he's thumped.
Yeah, because it turns out in the Bible, Noah's Ark is about him marrying all these animals, which I didn't know before.
I didn't know that either.
Actually, it was a Ben Breakfast.
So here is Bill O'Reilly.
So this is what you're talking about, Tony.
Not only did he switch his stance on gay marriage and tried to pretend like he did it, like he's always been.
That's the evil part.
Switching your stance, I think, is progress.
So it's always good to see someone stop being ignorant.
But he's not doing it because he wasn't against gay marriage.
He's up against an intellectual.
He was just doing it to pander to the morons who watch him.
The same reason why Phil Donahue, if you read a salon article that Phil Downhey was interviewed in right around the Iraq war, he says that my audience is center-right.
He said that in an article.
And that's what, and then when you realize that, it's like, oh, now everything makes sense.
Now I get why you're being a righty because you think that your audience is center-right.
So here's Bill O'Reilly.
He's stopping being discriminatory towards gays.
And now he points his finger at Bill Clinton because Bill Clinton also changed his stance.
And this is what Bill O'Reilly says about it.
You're phony, Bill Clinton.
You're phony.
It's the same exact issue.
Same thing.
All right.
You signed it because you thought it was going to be popular.
And now that it's not that so popular, you're against it.
This is what sleazy politics.
Do you feel that way about Barack Obama, too?
Because he came out.
He was against the right way against recently.
Of course I feel that way again.
Of course I do.
Candor.
They don't care about gays.
They don't care about gays.
If they cared about gays, they would have been on board in the beginning.
Now.
You're phony.
Is that what you're talking about, Tony?
Yeah.
That guy.
If you were, well, you weren't either.
Well, I might be a phony, but hopefully nobody plays that clip on my show.
Guess who's on the phone?
Who?
It's Bill O'Reilly right now.
Hi, Bill.
Bill O'Reilly, how are you, buddy?
It's good to hear from you.
Shut up, Jimmy.
Just shut up.
Bill, you agreed to do, you agreed to come out and do this interview.
Right, right.
Sorry.
Okay.
If hearing your voice, maybe immediately assume that you made up some stupid pinhead remark.
You can't really blame me.
Bill, Bill, I wanted to talk to you about what's been going on at the Supreme Court this week.
Can we talk about the Supreme Court this week?
Oh, you mean the nationally broadcast radio production of glee.
Bill, I got to say, I was quite taken aback by the fact that you seem to have come out in support of gay marriage.
Have you come out in support of gay marriage?
Well, Jimmy, it's mainly because I have a book coming out next year called Killing Fosse.
Broadway director and choreographer Bob Fossey.
I want to get on the good side of my target audience.
But I'm also just hopping up on the bandwagon.
The way the wind is blowing, and I want to remain the face of Fox News and not be usurped by that little Eve Harrington in an Armani suit, Shepard Smith.
All right, well, I had suspected that there had to be an ulterior motive, Bill, but I'm glad you finally decided to stand up for the red, white, and pink, so to say.
Are you standing up for the red, white, and pink?
Don't give me any of that, Dora look.
My opportunistic support of gay marriage doesn't mean I still don't hate gay people.
Okay, I get it.
I figured as much.
Look, it's like Al Gore said in that pinhead documentary he made.
What was it called?
An uncomfortable ass?
No, it was called an inconvenient truth.
Whatever.
My point is, he said you have to be aware of your carbon footprint.
Well, now that I support gay marriage, I'm increasing my carbon fuckprint.
What did you say, Bill?
I'm doubling down on my heterosexuality.
Now I harass women in my office as a matter of principle.
But aren't you worried about getting slapped with another sexual harassment suit, Bill?
No, that ain't going to happen because we're in the midst of a national heterosexual emergency.
And martial law has been declared in my pants.
Every time I bang up brought us to the greater good.
Okay.
Bill, but that.
I think Bill's laughing.
You got to tell.
Bill, he is laughing.
That sounds kind of crazy, Bill.
Wouldn't you agree?
That sounds kind of crazy.
Crazy like a Fox news star that the ladies love.
Oh, and one other thing, Jimmy.
From now on, wherever I go on vacation, I will consider it unpatriotic to go anywhere besides a Thailand warhouse.
Okay.
You know, Bill, it seems to me that maybe your support of gay marriage is making you overcompensate in other areas, in other ways.
Jimmy.
Yeah.
Here is my talking points memo for tonight.
I like pussy.
Okay.
Now, here's my talking points memo for tomorrow night.
I like pussy.
Here's my talking points memo for every night from here on in.
Okay, Bill O'Reilly, thanks for joining us.
I appreciate it, buddy.
I like pussy.
Okay, Bill, we get it.
You know, as often happens on the show, Bill O'Reilly, after we got done talking, he went out and got drunk, and he called back in drunk a bunch of times.
So here's one of them.
Hey.
You probably read this Scrodus.
Yeah, that's a bad joke.
Scrodus is set to end a ban on benefits for gay spouses.
This may rock your hairy horn-pitted hippie girl world dwarf.
I am all for that.
Just as long as they followed up, I ending all benefits for everyone.
Follow me.
Equal squalor all the way, you dweed.
Hey, is your pee supposed to turn gold when you drink gold schlagger?
Because it's not happening this time, and it's pissing me off.
Umlaut over the A, a hole, a-hole.
Did he say um lot over the A?
Wow.
Umla over the A. He needs some help.
He's drunk, I know, but he's still.
I think you're sort of like, you know, abusing him by even hearing this.
Poor guy needs help.
He does need help.
Well, he called back in, Tony.
He's not done.
That's not just on his only call.
Okay, so we ran out of time for the rest of the Bill O'Reilly drunk calls.
There's four more of them.
That's right.
He was really drunk and very talkative.
So you know where that's going to be.
That's going to be in the premium content for this week.
And Jimmy, how do we get the premium?
It's the easiest thing in the world.
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, you click on donate, you become a $5 a month donator.
That gets you all the free audio, the premium audio, right, for the donators.
And we're going to be adding video soon.
Gilbert is the man.
He's working on it.
He's been in the studio.
We're setting up the cameras and figuring it all out.
So we'll be offering that coming up, video of the show.
And that'll be $10 a month for the $10 a month donators.
Okay.
So that's very easy.
You just go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on donate.
You become a $5, or you can pay it all up at once.
If you pay it for the year at once, it's $55.
You save yourself $5.
Isn't that nice?
And then we'll send you a passcode.
And if, hey, if you've donated and you haven't gotten your passcode, right, because we're not geniuses, we're comedians, but we will give it to you.
Just send me an email at jimmydoor at earthlink.net.
That's my old-timey email.
And I'll send you the passcode, okay?
So if you haven't gotten it and you donated and you're at $5 a month donator or you made the $55 for the year donation, send me an email at jimmydoor at earthlink.net and I will shoot you back the premium content passcode, okay?
All right.
It's just that easy.
In today's show, I want to thank everybody who made this show possible today.
All the voices performed by the one and only Mike McRae and Mike McRae can be found at MikeMcCray.com.
And all the guys who wrote the show this week, Frank Conniff, Jim Earl, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasamura, Steph Zamorano, and Mark Van Landuitt coming through.
Okay, so that's it.
We're going to see you on the 27th of April at the improv in Hollywood.
And then May 3rd and 4th, I'll be at the Flappers in Claremont.
All right.
So look for that if you're in the Claremont area.
Roger Rittenhouse going to be making a guest appearance on that show.
Oh, it's a big die.
Okay, so that's it for this week.
Thanks to everybody who helped made it possible.
And I want to let everybody know, Sean James saved me again this week.
Man, you would think Macintoshes wouldn't be that big of a pain, but they are.
They don't work quite often.
And if you have a problem with your Macintosh, Sean James can fix it for you right over the internet, right?
So you just give him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
Plus, there's a phone call.
There's a phone number.
There is.
You can call.
So if your computer's not working and you can't send an email, you can give him a call at 347-695-0601.
That's the number to Sean James.
You got a problem with your Mac?
He'll fix it for you.
Okay, so that's it for this week.
Until next week, I'll be here with my dog having fun.
And you be the best you could be.
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