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Oct. 19, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
So the debate was decent.
Among CNN's useless idiots, Candy Crawley has the biggest dick.
In a fight at a biker bar, I would be on Candy's side.
Wolf Blitzer would be hiding underneath the table and John King would sneak into the ladies' room.
Fox News and the right-wing pundits are calling the debate a draw.
They also called the Japanese surrender at Hiroshima a tie.
Republicans are understandably upset at the moderator's partisan inclusion of facts.
Now Mitt knows how the kids he pants in the school hall felt like.
The call to arms over China by Mitt Romney was an interesting diversion tactic trying to get people to blame the economy on China instead of people like him.
Romney looking through binders full of women, just like his grandfather did when he got married again.
Asked how Mitt differs from previous GOP president, he promised that he can say stupid things just as well as Bush.
The final question, asking the biggest misperception about the candidates.
Mitt Romney took the opportunity to set the record straight about how he has been unfairly besmirched by himself.
He has been unfairly attacked by his own words, caught on video in front of his fellow millionaires saying what he thinks about the American public.
The Libya scandal is tedious.
What is the Republican hard on for calling everything an act of terror anyway?
I propose that we only have ambassadors in our armed forces and maybe Republicans will suddenly care about Americans getting killed on foreign soil.
Not clear what the big complaint about the tragic murder in Libya is anyway.
Does the right want us to go to war over it?
At least give Libya a few months before we help overthrow their government again.
Apparently, the right has had a change of heart since 9-11 when they successfully demanded that the country not politicize the event, to not ask questions, and to get all behind our president.
Thanks to that guy who asked the question from his co-workers about Libya.
Where does that guy work anyway?
The Heritage Foundation?
Despite the improved performance, our Kenyan socialist Obama is still infuriating, saying he wants to cut corporate taxes further, despite the fact that they are currently lower than Ryl Reagan's.
The first half of the debate was the two arguing over who was going to face fuck the environment more.
We're drilling more under Obama in every way that then even under Bush.
So disheartening how limited our national political discourse is.
No mentions of income inequality.
Lots of talk about the middle class, but none about the working class.
A third party couldn't even get arrested in our country.
That is, unless they show up to a debate.
There you go.
Wow.
There you go.
Very good.
Very rant.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk on your T-Vales.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joined in studio.
Across the glass for me from Team Yasamura, hilarious comedian.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hi, Robert.
Hi, how are you?
We were just laughing about your grandparents being in a tournament camp.
Yeah, it was hysterical.
It was a funny, funny time.
Funny, funny time.
Next to him, it's a three-time Emmy Award-winning writer, host of the David Feldman Comedy Show.
It's David Feldman.
Hi, David.
And you can download it on iTunes.
Oh, sure.
It's available at iTunes.
And Frank Connet can be heard on it, as well as you, Steph, and Jim Earl.
Yes.
But not Yasamura, because I had a father at Pearl Harbor.
Across from him, it's former writer for The Daily Show, hilarious comedian and author of Morning Remembrances.
Thank you very much.
It's Jim Earle.
Hi, Jim.
Hi, how are you doing?
I also ham radio's Jim Earl.
That's right.
I also do have an Emmy and myself that I won, as well as a Peabody Award.
You won an Emmy?
Which Dave Feldman does not have a Peabody Award.
Yes, I do.
You do?
I always stole it from Jon Stewart.
Next to Jim, it's host of Comedy and Everything Else, our resident Latina.
It's Steph Zamarano.
Hi, Steph.
Hi, yi-yi.
Hi, Jimmy.
Nice to have you.
Thanks.
And on the phone, all the way from New York City, it's TV's Frank, Frank Connett for Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Hey, hey, hey.
Okay, well, guess what happened today?
It's a big day for if you're a homosexual, if you like to have same-sex with someone of the same sex.
The Second Circuit Court of Appeals found the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional today.
How about a little...
Yeah, yeah.
Second circuit or...
Pat Robertson is advising straight couples to stay indoors and avoid contact with all things fabulous.
Do you know Romney's binder?
He said was full of women.
Well, it was under the file, employees we can hire for less money.
Thank you, Bravo.
Not funny, but very cutting.
Hey, you know, I was listening to the Dick Cheney.
I mean, I was listening to Sean Hannity show the other day, and Dick Cheney phoned in.
Did you hear that, Frank?
Yes, I think I did hear that.
What did he say?
What did Dick Cheney have to say?
And hey, Sean, a big fan, first time caller, long time war criminal.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
There you go.
Okay, so what's...
Because he's from the Middle Ages.
I got it.
I got it.
Hey, Frank, I have one more question for you.
What's the one thing you'll never find in any Mitt Romney binder?
The Lily Ledbetter act with his miniature on it.
Yeah.
There you go.
All right, that's the joke.
So what's coming up on TV?
By the way, Lily Ledbetter was going to be on the show, but she wanted to get paid as much as me.
I said, "No way." I'm a victim of...
Wait a minute.
I'm a victim of.
I'm a victim of lesbian Ledbetter death.
Wasn't Ledbetter Joe Flynn's character in Mikhail's Navy?
Might have been.
Hey, what's coming up?
Lead bottom.
That's right.
What's coming up on today's show?
We're going to go over the debate.
Yes, go ahead, Frank.
When I was a kid, I was affected by the silly bedwetter act.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
What's coming up on today's show?
We're going to talk about the debate very briefly, but we're going to mostly focus on the right-wing freakout over what happened.
And then we're going to talk about, you know, Tom Brokaw.
There's somebody who never brings up Lily Ledbetter.
Yeah, there you go.
Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw.
Tom Broker.
Tom Brokaw gets asked his opinion on Meet the Press, and we talk about it.
Plus, Governor McConnell politicizes the Libya attack.
We got phone calls from Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, and a lot lot more.
That's today on The Jimmy Dore Show.
What caused all the fuss, right?
We all saw the debate.
Now, by the time you guys are going to hear this show, you've already heard everybody talk about it.
And people say, well, Jimmy, we want to hear you guys talk about it.
All right, we're going to talk a little bit about it, okay?
So here's what started the whole thing.
I think it's interesting.
The president just said something, which is that on the day after the attack, he went to the Rose Garden and said that this was an act of terror.
You said in the Rose Garden, the day after the attack, it was an act of terror.
It was not a spontaneous demonstration.
Is that what you're saying?
Please proceed, Governor.
That's when that law and order should go, dunk, dunk.
That should come on right there.
And here he goes.
He's going to proceed.
I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror.
Get the transcript.
He did, in fact, sir.
So let me call it an act of terror.
Can you say that a little louder, Candy?
A little bit softer now.
A little bit softer now.
Terror.
Terror.
It did as well take two weeks or so for the whole idea of there being a riot out there about this tape to come out.
You're correct about that.
The administration indicated that this was a reaction to a video and was a spontaneous reaction.
It took them a long time to say this was a terrorist act by a terrorist group.
Okay.
So he said it.
So they checked the tape.
You go back.
He refers to it as an act of terror in the Rose Garden the day after the attack, 9-12.
And then he actually said it the next day, too, in another speech.
So he said it.
So Candy Crawley kind of fact-checking somebody in real time, right?
That was nice.
Yeah.
And so here's how the right wing handled it.
Ready?
You know, in a real world, she would have committed career suicide last night.
If she committed an act of journalistic terror or malpractice last night, if there were any journalistic standards, what she did last...
You know, if there were any journalistic standards, you would have been waterboarded years ago.
And he would have asked for seconds.
If there were any journalistic standards, we wouldn't have spent a trillion dollars in Iraq and still be in the longest war in our nation's history, okay?
If there were any journalistic standards, we would have been warned about the impending bank meltdown.
If there were any journalistic standards, the whole fucking country just might shut down, okay?
If there were any journalistic standards.
So that's how Rush Limbaugh handled it, right?
He thinks that she committed an act of...
Let's hear it again.
In the real world, she would have committed career suicide last night.
In the real world.
Unlike all the things he's done.
What world does he live in where he never...
No matter what he does, he doesn't commit career suicide.
What world is that?
Is that a bubble of AM radio?
That's right.
She committed an act of journalistic terror or malpractice last night.
If there were any journalistic standards, what she did last night would have been the equivalent of blowing up her career like a suicide bomber.
But there aren't any journalistic standards anymore.
And thank God for that, huh, Rush?
Limbaugh's calling for regulation of the airway.
And so...
That's funny.
Yes, he is.
Now, a lot of people would say that fact-checking politicians in real time is exactly what's been missing from our political discourse.
And praise Candy Crowley.
But then there are those who are allergic to facts and accurate information, like our friend Tucker Carlson.
Who, by the way, has dropped the bow tie and changed his image from a douchebag in a bow tie to a douchebag in a regular tie.
And here's what he had to say about it.
She threw the president a lifeline.
There's no question.
She inserted herself again and again into this debate.
They should just eliminate moderators overall.
Every one of them wants to insert him or herself into this.
They can't help it.
They're TV people.
Yes, yes.
If we could just get rid of the moderators, refs, journalists, reporters, nobody would ever fact-check anything.
Then we could really get away with some s***.
That's all he's really asking.
That's what he wants.
If we could just get rid of all that stuff so we could just say what we wanted and never be fact-checked.
What a dream world that would be for them.
Sounds like Tucker Carlson's the one who wants to be a millionaire.
What do you mean?
That's a line.
Lifelines are fun.
Oh, right.
It's like he's so desperate now for attention.
He's got that website, the Daily Caller.
Yes.
And they try to do that thing with the tape.
The tape.
They try to make Obama look black.
Yeah.
They try to...
But also, I kind of feel that if Candy Crowley hadn't have said anything, that Obama was setting an even bigger trap for Romney right there.
Like, in a way, she helped Romney because I think Obama was saying proceed.
He just wanted him to keep digging a bigger hole, you know, and then catch him in the lie.
So I really...
I think she, in some ways, she helped Romney more than she helped Obama.
Well, how about Tucker Carlson saying we should just get rid of them?
Here, let's hear what he said.
Again and again into this debate.
They should just eliminate moderators overall.
Every one of them wants to insert him or herself into this.
They can't help it.
They're TV people.
They can't help it.
They're being TV people.
You know, Tucker Carlson accusing other people of being attention seekers from the headquarters of Fox News.
Right.
He's on TV accusing other people.
That's like...
Okay, here.
Just think of someone condemning something that they are doing themselves at that very moment.
Make it something really ridiculous, usually sexual.
Okay, now using a confident, funny voice in your head, compare Tucker Carlson to that.
And now enjoy the joke he just made for the rest of the day.
Did everybody follow that?
All I know is Tucker Carlson is such a racist, he stopped wearing the bow tie because he didn't want to look like Fruit of Islam.
You're right, he is a terrible racist.
I think it's just...
Well, how is he a terrible racist?
Well, he's not like my dad who's a horrible racist.
How is your dad a horrible racist?
Yeah, he's always screaming things like, God damn Cyril Hittites.
Lousy stinking Etruscans.
My dad's out of touch.
He's not very good at racism.
He's a bad racist.
Very bad racist.
Always complaining about Jews with their small noses.
Yeah.
Why are they always yelling out stuff in the Coliseum?
I can't even hear what gladiators are saying anymore.
He's like, oh, what's with the blacks coming to this country, taking our jobs, right?
Isn't that what he's always saying?
I tried to jump in.
I tried to jump in.
Okay, so...
You know, I do think it's hilarious that Tucker Carlson has to say that, why do these moderators insert themselves?
That's what they do.
They have to ask the question, and then they have to say, time.
Yes, I know.
Steph, it's...
When Barack Obama got his ass kicked two weeks ago, or a week and a half ago, whenever it was, this is what makes me feel good about being on the left, is that we took it.
We were like, yes, it was horrible.
It was horrible.
Because you're a surrender monkey.
We blamed Barack Obama for it.
You want to pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan.
You're a liberal, and you say, we lost.
We lost the first debate.
Whereas the Republicans never admit defeat.
Right.
Never say defeat.
Never say.
So I...
And it's the same thing...
it's the same thing after uh the 9-11 uh the original 9-11 attacks democrats were like oh we have to unite and get behind uh President Bush, which I wish they didn't do.
But now, after these latest terrorist attacks, immediately before they were even finished, the Republicans were making political hay out of it.
I mean, could you imagine if 9-11 had happened when Gore was president?
Wow.
They would have been calling for his impeachment immediately.
They would have.
At 9-12, we got to get rid of the president.
He was asleep at the wheel.
We can never let this happen.
I hate to tell you.
No, you're gore, 9-11 wouldn't have happened because he would have read that briefing memo.
Yes, exactly.
So here's why.
They always say, like, after 9-11, now is not the time to point fingers.
Then this time around, the Republicans were pointing fingers like Chris Christie in front of a Dunkin' Donuts window.
Nice.
Come on.
I did it on my show.
You bastard.
That's.
Frank hadn't heard it.
You're doing my thing.
It looked like you were stumbling over it.
I was causing dronatic effect.
No, it looked like you were stuck.
You were trying to remember the words.
Yeah.
Were you going for donuts or pastries or what?
David, you did it twice on your show, and both times you stumbled.
So I wanted to help you this time.
He's a team player.
Sorry, but that is a flawed Chris Christie joke because he's just not point at assortments that he wants.
He just has the entire donut store.
You know that he wants every donut in there.
He doesn't have to twist it.
You know, before the first debate, while Romney was practicing zingers, Christie was eating them.
Well, you know, after Romney did it poorly in the debate the other night, a lot of Republicans were depressed, and someone found was really worried.
They found Chris Christie's head was in the oven.
He's a big guy.
He did.
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So here is why they want to get rid of fact checkers.
Here's my favorite nerd bully, John Sunudu, talking with Soledad O'Brien about the Libya incident.
And here's what he had to say about it.
The president had and his ambassador to the UN and Jay Carney and all the apologists for this White House and all the groupies on television that are trying to cover his butt have been lying about the president trying to deceive America, that that tragedy was the result of a video, rather than acknowledging right from the beginning that this was a well-planned, well-executed terrorist attack.
Which undermines, which undermines the president's claim that we no longer have terrorism rampant in that area.
President, so you realize that what he said in the debate last night was the day after the attack, here was the statement from the Rose Garden and said no acts of terror will ever shake the president.
He did not she just read the transcript to him.
He goes, he got caught lying.
See, he didn't say that.
She just read it to him.
So this is John Sununu.
Whenever you get corrected on television, just lie louder.
And that's exactly what he does.
He just lies louder.
He's got more to say.
Here's the thing.
You know, for him, the truth is a Sunono.
Yeah, because he was referring A to the original 9-11 and B to the previous paragraph in which he inferred that it was a video is what you're saying.
This is ridiculous.
And if you're dwelling, if you're going to dwell on this, you're out of your mind.
Personal attacks.
You're out of your mind, Soledad.
I think, yeah, so Solada Brian.
That's his big thing.
You're in the tank for Obama.
You're a big Soledad, stop this.
And the last time we had him at Soledad, stop this.
Right?
Remember that?
You know, Jimmy, Sununu used to work for the first Bush president, and GW forced him to resign from that position.
Did you know that?
Really?
Yeah.
This is a typical conversation the GW would have with Sununu every day, though.
You be Sununu, Dave.
All right.
Hey, John, I forgot.
What's your last name?
Sununu?
Nothing much.
What's Sununu with you?
And this would go on week after week.
Okay, now here's how Fox and Friends reacted to Candy Crowley and the debate, right?
By the way, do you get the feeling during the debate Tuesday night that Mitt Romney was going to call Candy Crowley candy, regardless of what her first name was?
He just looks like the kind of guy.
Candy, doll face, honey, sugar.
It was.
Candy.
So you know how Fox and Friends is supposed to have this feel like it's just three normal people getting together to chat about current events over coffee.
That's what they're trying to put out there.
But I've watched quite a bit of Fox and Friends, and I got to say, most restaurant scenes from Sex in the City feel closer to real political discussion than Fox and Friends does.
So here's how Steve Doocy handled it over at Fox and Friends.
And the problem was Candy Crowley, who is supposed to be the moderator, was, and I saw Joe Trippe after the debate last night say it was like she was a rep. She threw a flag.
You're not supposed to do that.
The time for fact-checking is after the event, not during it.
She made a gigantic mistake, and I think Mr. Romney was knocked off his kilter.
I don't have a problem with Candy being a ref as long as she's right.
No, you can't be the ref when you're the moderator.
Absolutely.
That's what you're supposed to do when you're the moderator.
You're supposed to referee.
Isn't that another name for moderator, referee?
Am I out of my mind?
You cannot.
You've got to return.
If somebody says something outrageous, of course you have to be the ref.
She was wrong.
That's what I just said.
Oh, she was fact-checking just there.
Yeah.
So you mean she's fact-checking?
She was fact-checking.
Yeah.
Steve Doocy.
Steve Docey.
Yeah, she's fact-checked.
Usually on Fox News, the time for fact-checking is never.
Yeah, never.
It never comes.
So they're upset that she was playing a ref.
You're not supposed to.
Even if you, they think she was wrong.
But it's obviously in the transcript.
So that's this thing about this right-wing.
We've talked about this a lot about how they create this alternate universe because reality doesn't measure up with how they want it to be.
So they just invent this thing.
Oh, Joe Biden lost because he smiled too much.
Candy Crowley threw the debate for us.
There were weapons of mass destruction.
Barack Obama wasn't born in this country.
He can't even be president.
He reads off a teleprompter everything good he said.
It's this crazy right.
And that's what happened with Mitt Romney because he's been nobody fact-checks the right-wing echo chamber, right?
So when they keep saying Barack Obama had never called it an act of terrorism, that was a failure of Mitt Romney's team to go note.
He actually did say that.
Did nobody watch it?
Did nobody ever read the transcript of it?
Did they not acknowledge that?
Oh, he actually did.
So steer clear of this issue.
It's become such a meme on the right that this is how it happened.
This guy won't say terrorism that nobody fact checks this, and then Mitt Romney just goes out there and has the balls to say that and gets told totally.
That's his team, right, Frank?
Wouldn't you say that's his team letting him down?
Yeah, because they are in the right-wing, the extreme right-wing ex-chamber where it's an alternate reality.
And did you know, and I saw this on Rachel Maddow last night, that Jerome Corsi, the author of Where's the Birth Certificate, and who's been whose new conspiracy theory is that Obama is secretly gay?
He was true.
He was on the Mitt Romney campaign plane yesterday.
Yes, he's officially been allowed on the plane as an actual press guy.
And he's, I don't know if he's consulting, but he's been allowed on as a press guy.
And yes, his big thing now is that Barack Obama is secretly gay and gay married, by the way.
He says he's secretly gay, and the gay community in Chicago can't believe that he's been able to keep it a secret.
Well, if you know about it, it's not a secret.
It's true.
I happen to know for a fact that Michelle is a guy, and Sasha and Malia are two Chinese adopted children.
You know, that's easier to believe than he's Kenyon.
I believe that.
I believe that.
So, here, let me say.
He's saying our president is gay.
Yes.
Here's our.
That's ridiculous.
Why?
Because he's not a Republican.
So here is my.
Here's our last clip of someone's reacting.
Here's Megan Kelly from Fox News.
Here's what she had to say about Barack Obama and the terror in the Libya.
Act of terror.
Declaring something an act of terror does not necessarily mean you are declaring it a terror attack.
I mean, any.
So she's admitting he said act of terror, but that's not good enough for her.
That's not good enough.
Act of terror.
Declaring something an act of terror does not necessarily mean you are declaring it a terror attack.
I mean, any act that's going to kill our ambassador in this fashion could be described as an act of terror, but that's not necessarily the same as declaring it a terrorist attack.
And it seems like, hold on, it seems like the White House narrative is now going to be that the president was meaning to and did declare this a terrorist act because that's what he seemed to tell that questioner after the fact.
Look, that's what we believe, but I didn't want to go that far on camera.
Quickly, and then I'm going to go back.
So she's saying that the president wasn't premature enough.
I guess.
That he waited two weeks before all the facts were in front of him.
Right.
Unlike a good guy like Cheney and Bush, who don't wait for the facts.
Still wait for the facts.
They just invade.
The wrong country.
Am I the only person that feels like your head is exploding when you listen to these people?
Well, that's what I'm talking about.
It's like this isn't, again, we're not dealing with the same set of facts.
We're not dealing with the same set.
It's a different reality.
It's an act of terror on our head.
You know, Jimmy, you mentioned something yesterday.
You said that Canada doesn't have Fox.
Right.
Canada does not have Fox News.
Because they, somehow in their legislation, it would violate their version of the FCC.
Yeah, the FCC says you can't put on false and misleading news.
That's why I honestly have always believed that the best thing the federal government can do right now is take over cable, which they have the legal right to do, by the way, and regulate it and reinstitute the Fairness Doctrine.
No, you're wrong.
Why?
I just felt like saying.
No, what you have to do is the FTC, the Federal Trade Commission, needs to monitor advertising in the political arena the same way they monitor those ads for belts that'll do sit-ups for you.
You can't advertise late at night a belt that's going to do sit-ups for you.
The FTC says they said you can't do that anymore.
You can't do that.
Or you can't advertise this boner pill because Mr. Feldman can't.
I mean, you can't advertise a boner pill because it won't, it doesn't work.
But the FTC doesn't step in and say, you know what?
This ad about Barack Obama want to take $700 billion from Medicare, it's a lie.
So the FTC, the Federal Trade Commission, should be monitoring these ads because it's big business.
They spent a billion dollars on ads.
The Ohio television stations are cutting back on their news because they can't squeeze enough ad time right now.
They're making so much money.
Les Moonves.
As the chairman of the board of CBS said, he thinks Citizens United is bad for the country, but great for our bottom line.
They are making a fortune on television advertising, and it should be monitored by the FTC.
Let me ask you a question.
Your grandparents were in German camps?
Yes, mine were in concentration camps.
Congratulations.
I think that trumps your experience.
So back down.
Nice.
Okay, so pulling a tattoo card out.
My parents were in summer camp in the past field.
Oh, that gets all of us.
You know what?
Before we go off, we're up against a break.
You know, Barack Obama called me the day after the debates, and he left me a couple of voicemails, and here's one of them.
Derek, Barry Obama, here.
Oh, yeah.
You fucking feeling that?
That's what a man is supposed to feel like in America.
You're going to have to elect me now, ladies, because I just ruled you for all other presidents.
What was your favorite part?
Was it the part where I was like, hey, turns out Olibya, I'm the motherfucking president.
Or was it when I pointed out that not even George, worst president ever, Bush, will do some of the crap this guy is putting?
I got to tell you, my favorite part was the 47% thing.
Man, that was a hard one to keep in my pants that long.
I had to do everything not to turn to Romney and say, booyah, bitch.
And then watching this guy's unforced terrorist, that binder's full of women thing.
What the fuck was that?
And he said that.
I was just sitting there going, dude, what are you talking about?
I swear to God, for a second, I thought he was having a feature.
Look, man, that was some sweet shit last night.
But now I got to go see a doctor.
Because I have had an erection lasted for more than four hours.
Keep it sleazy, my brother.
Okay, that was Barack Obama as played by Mike McRae.
This is the Jimmy Door show.
We'll be right back in one minute.
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But let's get back to the show, shall we?
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio from Team Rasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Next to him, three-time Emmy Award-winning writer and host of the David Feldman Show, it's David Feldman across the table.
It's available for iTunes.
It's also on iTunes.
David Feldman's show.
John Connoff was very much a part of it.
Trade Econom was a part of that show.
Steph and Jim Earl and you.
Yes.
But not Yasamura.
Not me.
No, not Yasamura.
And also there, former writer for The Daily Show and author of Morning Remembrances, it's Jim Earle.
Next to him, it's the host of Comedy and Everything Else, our resident Latina, Steph Samurano, and on the phone from Mystery Science Theater, 3000.
It's TV's Frank Frank Connoff.
What's coming up on the second half of the show?
May I just say one thing?
Yes.
Yasimura wrote that thing with Obama.
Right, the first, yeah, there's a couple more coming.
That was absolute brilliant.
You know, actually, before we get to the rest of the show, we're going to talk about Meet the Press.
The shuttle came to Los Angeles.
Tom Brokaw is a douche and a lot more right now.
You just said it all.
You know, Mitt Romney actually.
I think I'm going to steal Yasamura from him.
Mitt Romney actually called me after the debate, and he had this to say.
Joining us now is presidential candidate Mitt Romney.
Governor, how are you doing, buddy?
Oh, I'm great, Jimmy.
I'm just doing a little victory lap after my debate performance the other night.
Actually, Governor, most people think that Obama won the debate.
Oh, come on.
I wiped the floor with him.
And obviously, I'm no racist because I wiped the floor with him rather than asking him to wipe the floor for me, which is what I usually do when I'm on the planet.
But what about your whole binder full of women line?
You've been pretty roundly ridiculed for that.
Jimmy, my support of women's issues speaks for itself.
So I'd rather not speak of it myself right now, if you don't mind.
Well, aside from the sexism of your remark, it turns out that the story you told about asking for binders full of women wasn't even true.
Oh, that's hogwash.
Jimmy, anyone can tell you.
I know a lot about binders in the Mormon church.
Binders full of women are a necessity because the men have so many wives, they have to keep them listed on file alphabetically.
My point is that when you first became governor, the binders full of women were already there.
You're not the one who initiated that process.
Yes, I did, Jimmy.
In fact, I wanted to ensure that the job of finding binders full of women wouldn't get screwed up.
So I did the smart thing and hired a man to do it.
I care so much about equal opportunity for women that I would never make the mistake of putting a woman in charge of making that happen.
Yeah, that's not feminism.
I don't know what it is.
I'm sorry, Governor, but you're just not believable when it comes to women's issues.
I deeply respect women.
Geez, Jimmy, you're starting to sound like one of these nagging hens on the view.
The truth is, I have a proven record when it comes to treating women fairly.
If you look at my time instead of Bank Capital, you'll see that I fired, laid off, and ruined the lives of as many women as men.
And there were times when I laid off mostly women.
Like, for instance, the time I shut down a binder factory.
I don't see what's on funny.
Okay, this is pointless.
Let's just move on.
Governor, tell me, what about the gaff you made when you said Obama never called the embassy attack an act of terrorism?
It's really interesting that you're asking that question to me, Mitt Romney, because during this entire interview, you have never once uttered the words Mitt or Romney.
Yes, I did.
I said your name right at the top of the interview, Governor.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, read the transcript.
You never used the words, Mitt or Romney.
Not until two weeks after this interview happened.
This interview is happening right now.
I don't think so.
Read the transcript.
Damn it.
Once again, Candy Crowley has ruined everything.
She's not even here, Mitt.
She's biased.
She may be looked by on this issue.
And she may have seemed like, I don't care about women.
Well, I guess that's what happens when you hire a girl moderator.
Governor Romney, I'd like to thank you for joining us today.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Now go suck a bag of dicks.
Okay, that was Mitt Romney as performed by Mike McRae, written by Frank Coniff.
So I'm watching Meet the Press, and David Gregory asked Tom Brokaw this big question.
The issue of the debt, the issue of taxes, I think it's important to get to one of the big issues here.
We have got to, in these final few weeks, try to reach some resolution about this revenue issue, whether we raise revenue to deal with the debt, because whether it's Medicare or whether it's dealing with the debt level at the level that it's at, without agreement on both sides, we're not going to be able to tackle some of these more difficult issues.
What an abstute observation by David Gregory, huh?
Unless we work together to solve some of these problems, we're never going to get ever to solve the problem.
That was right because that was some ass-kicking conventional wisdom for us.
So he just outlines the problem.
Hey, we have a debt problem, and unless they work together, they won't solve it, huh, Mr. Brokaw?
And, Mr. Prime, what a better guy to ask about our nation's problems, because Tom Brokaw has a deep understanding of the country after years of flying over it in his private jet.
You know what they need to— I think Tom Brokaw understands how hard life can be for millions of Americans who've never anchored the NBC Nightly News.
I do.
What do you want to say, David?
We are incapable of having a discussion about the debt because the newsmeet is bought and sold and owned by the hedge funds.
The IMF, the people, the International Monetary Fund, which is responsible for all the pain and suffering in Latin America, even the IMF issued a report this week that says austerity doesn't work.
Really?
Yes.
The IMF says that what's going on in Europe is going to get worse because of the austerity.
The IMF is saying you have to raise taxes.
Bloomberg had an editorial this week that said you cannot dig your way out of this debt unless you raise taxes.
There is not a legitimate economist in the world that you cannot find a legitimate economist to tell you that tax cuts are the solution to debt and our economy.
I can name one.
Grover Norquist.
Yeah, he's not a legitimate episode.
He knows so much.
Don't run down Grover.
So instead of putting on these pundits on Meet the Press, why don't you get some legitimate economists and explain how Reagan racked up debt by cutting taxes, how Bush racked up debt by cutting taxes.
Every once in a while.
That would be partisan if they did.
Every once in a while, Joe Schnuffalopagus has Paul Krugman on, and then they have to balance him on out by having on Ann Coulter and George Will and Jake Tapper.
Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman from the New York Times, who teaches economics at Princeton with Ann Coulter, who has what?
Nothing.
Pretty hair.
Right.
She has pretty hair.
So here, So here's the.
So here's what Tom Brokaw's response is.
By the way, here he goes.
You know, I think that both campaigns have failed to say to the American public.
Oh, right.
First of all, you start out with a false equivalency.
That's my favorite thing.
Both sides do it.
Both sides do it.
You know, I think that both campaigns have failed to say to the American public.
Both sides do it.
Both sides do it.
Just like you, remember Luke Russard?
That's his mantra.
Both sides do it.
Which is weird because Tom Broko can't even talk out of both sides of his mouth.
Let me do that again and edit it.
Tom Brokaw is incapable of talking out of both sides of his mouth, so he's jealous of Mitt Romney.
That's why Tom Brokaw's wife would get into three ways with him because he always had a false equivalency between the two women.
You know, I think that both campaigns have failed to say to the American public, this is going to be hard.
And by hard, he means hard on you, not Tom Brokaw or any of his friends.
He means hard on working people who count on Social Security and Medicare, not people who count on stock options in a rigged economy.
That's who he means.
It's going to be hard for.
Not hard for any of us TV icons, of course.
I mean, hard for all you smucks who thought you could retire before you're 80.
That's who it's going to be hard on.
Not hard on him.
Yeah, that's Tom O'Kay.
He's got more to say.
Here's Tom Broca.
They've got a level with the American people about everyone's going to have to give something, and there's going to have to be some revenue raise at some point.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody's going to have to give something.
On the bright side, Tom Brokaw and none of his millionaire friends will feel a goddamn thing.
Yes.
But everybody's going to have to give.
Tom Brokaw's going to have to give.
What are you going to sacrifice, Tom Brokaw?
What exactly are you going to sacrifice?
Are you going to give up?
Are you going to spend 15 cents more on your kerchiefs?
The letter R. He's giving up the letter R. I'm Tom Brokaw.
I'm standing in front of Hero Hungary.
By the way, the only thing Tom Brokaw is qualified to talk about is how to really use a teleprompter.
Yes.
That guy doesn't know anything.
He's a newsreader.
You can tell he's a good journalist because he got an award from a military institution.
You know how they love reporters, the military, don't they?
That's how you can tell he's a good muckraker.
Just like you can tell the guys who are the best FBI agents, they're the ones that get awards from the mafia.
You know what?
I'll say this for him.
In the mid-90s, he broke the story of the invasion of Normandy.
He was reporting live from the deck of the Achille Laurel.
No, you're right, Frank.
We didn't know that our fathers were the greatest generation until he told us, and he wrote a book and made millions off it.
Yeah, instead of writing a book called, he was out kissing the ass of America, instead of writing a book called, Hey, This War is Bullshit and the Banks Are About to Fuck Everyone.
Instead of doing that, he was writing another book that kissed our ass.
Hey, you know what, maybe you could write your next book on the back of your kerchief.
That's why you can tell he's a good newsman.
When are the newsmen going to start wearing ascots?
That's my question.
Because that's why I really like my, so he's got more to say.
I talked to a lot of major business leaders who want Romney to get elected.
He talks to a lot.
Did you hear?
He talks to a lot of major.
So this is supposed to be him showing, look, I'm in the know.
I'm so glad that Tom Brokaw keeps polling the 1%.
He's got his finger on the penis of all the major businesses.
Thank God he's consulting the people who smashed our economy to smithereens out of nothing more than unbridled greed.
And you know, one of those people who he guarantee you who he's talked to is his good friend.
Jack Welch.
Jack Welch.
Yes.
Who used to be his boss and who he's very close with?
Yes, I'm sure.
Without a crazy budget truther now.
So the guy.
Did you see Orwell rolls over in his grave, the documentary about the First Amendment and the state of the media?
They have facts that when Jack Welch was running GE in 2000 on Election Day, he got on the phone and ordered Brokaw to call the election for Bush.
Yes, and Brokaw did, to create that illusion that Bush won so that they could say the votes were counted and Bush won.
Really?
Yes.
And Welch was smart enough to know that if you create the illusion and call it early, people are going to think, well, Bush won and now Al Gore's being petulant.
Yes, yes.
Orwell rolls over in his grave.
Great documentary.
And let me tell you.
It's no greatest generation.
It's just weird that he keeps really, like, he says it like as if he's got some inside information.
I talk to the business owners who want Mitt Romney to win.
You know, quit talking to those guys.
They're the ones who crashed our economy.
Hey, yet, you know what, Tom?
That's great.
I would love to hear what Gilligan and the skipper's ideas are on how to get us off the island.
Are they ever going to fix our boat?
That's how he keeps.
Okay, so he's got more to say.
Hang on.
But almost to a man and a woman, they say, but you know what?
We're going to have to pay some more taxes in our category.
What they want to do, however, is to benchmark them against spending cuts.
Sure.
When he means benchmarks against spending cuts, again, he means that he's going to pay 10 cents more for a kerchief while you don't get to have health care when you retire.
That's what he's talking about.
Those are those benchmarks.
And we're not, the country's not broke.
America's sitting on $2 trillion in cash.
That's an old statistic.
It might be three by now.
No, it's $2 trillion.
$2 trillion.
The corporations are sitting on $2 trillion, and they say that they just need confidence before they invest it.
And I say if $2 trillion doesn't give you confidence, maybe try dance lessons.
They're holding the nation hostage.
They're basically saying, like, once you put Romney in, we'll release this money.
Yes.
They're not releasing.
They're never releasing that money.
They're just going overseas.
That money, they're never going to spend it.
And here's the thing.
Two-thirds of our economy is consumer-based.
It's what we buy, not what they sell us.
So if they don't like America, if GE doesn't like America, get out.
Right.
Get out.
Go set up.
You're already out of the country.
Go, leave.
We'll be fine without these multinationals.
We don't need them.
Do what France just did.
What did they just do?
I think the corporations are required to stay.
They can leave.
The heads of the corporations can leave, but their businesses have to stay.
They can leave, but they have to keep their heads in France.
You're free to go.
I like what Iceland did.
They put their bankers in jail and their economy's recovering.
Hang on.
Governor McDonald.
Okay, so here's Tom Brokaw's last thing.
There's going to have to be a combination in their judgment.
Now, these are private business leaders who run big companies and entrepreneurial people.
And to a man and a woman, they're saying, I can afford to pay a little more if I think it's going to go for the right formulation about getting spending and tax revenue back in line.
Yeah, so when he's saying they're all for paying more money, as long as it isn't thrown away by making life better for everybody.
That's what they're upset.
Go ahead, Frank.
I'm incredibly, I'm incredibly, unbelievably rich, and I'm willing to pay my fair share, but under certain conditions.
Right.
Right.
Under certain conditions.
Right.
As long as so what.
I'm not just going to spend my money to help the country.
I'm just not going to make a contribute my fair share without some poorer people suffering.
Yeah, like what they mean is that they're going to kick in a little more to pay for the wars that they wanted if we keep firing teachers, cops, and firemen.
That's what they mean.
Right.
Okay, so that's all we really hank.
You know what?
Tom Brokaw.
Bratzo, you vote for.
And if you vote for Romney, that's what you're voting for.
That's what you're voting for.
He is emblematic of everything that got us into the mess we're in.
And he's sitting there going toe-to-toe with our president, disrespecting him, getting in his face.
Tag Romney, the oldest son, gave an interview yesterday saying he wanted to punch Obama.
These Romney boys are really tough.
They're not afraid of a fight unless it's in Iraq, Afghanistan, or Vietnam.
Right?
Right.
So when Tag Romney was a kid, he used to say to other kids, my dad's Butler can beat up your dad.
Hey, Barack Obama called me twice.
Here's the second time he called me.
Jimmy, Barry.
I remember now why I wasn't good that last debate.
Because I got better shit to do.
Yeah, sure, I did better in this debate.
But do you know how much pressing stuff I didn't get done?
My desk looks like it fucking exploded, man.
I didn't call Canada all last week.
And now they're an enemy.
And do you know how long it's been since I plowed my wife?
That woman is insatiable.
If I don't get back in there soon, she's going to jump some poor Secret Service guy.
And he's either going to have to serve as Mama Bear or kill her.
There are no other options, but she's got her sex hankering going.
And those two black girls are not from Central Caston, Kate.
Like, I am trying to be a father here, too.
And I already got a pretty cats-in-the-cradle relationship with those kids without being shipped off to debate, Camp, just so I can out-talk the governor from the state of Greece and formula.
Jimmy, my point is, I made Captain Haircut my bitch.
Are you happy now, America?
Can we get back to business now that I prolapse that guy's rectum?
Because I got shipped it down, man.
I left the Netherlands on hold last week, and I'm pretty sure they're still on the line.
There's some polite people like that.
I can't believe I'm even wasting time on this phone call.
How the fuck does this phone call get on my schedule?
You are the goddamn secretary to the goddamn president of the United States, and you're out there acting like you're sniffing glue on your period.
I gotta go.
Aloha, motherfucker!
That should be the biggest thing in the world.
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So here it's that David Gregory turns his journalistic eye towards Governor McDonald, who, by the way, signed the transvaginal ultrasound bill.
That's the guy, Governor McDonald from Virginia.
So here he is.
I thought that was Teddy Roosevelt who was responsible for the transvaginal.
No, that's different.
You're talking about, you're thinking about transcontinental railroads.
It's different.
Different.
You sure?
Yeah, one's a vaginal.
You know, you know, they had a lot of problems when they were building that canal.
A lot of prolapses.
People men died.
They died with a smile on their face.
Insert an ultrasound into a woman's Panama Canal.
A man, a plan, a prolapse.
So here is, so here's David Gregory's first question.
McDonald, look, the charge is that Romney's in a position where he'll say anything he has to to close the deal.
That's David Gregory's question.
He says the charge is, that's the charge.
That's not the observable fact that I just, that's not an observation.
That's just, that's the charge that David Gregory can't make a judgment about whatsoever.
That if Mitt Romney will say anything to get elected.
I don't know, David, do you pay attention to the news?
Have you watched the news lately, David?
He'll say anything.
He's taken more positions on abortion than are in the Kama Sutra.
Are you kidding me?
So that's David Gregory.
And here's what Bob McDonald.
Here's what Governor McDonald has to say back in defense.
That's nonsense.
You know, Bill Clinton said at the convention nobody could have possibly fixed his problems in four years.
I think Bill Clinton said some things he doesn't believe.
He did it, working with the New Congress and the Republican Congress.
Okay, so that's the old name of that.
See, Barack Obama's hard to work with.
Bill Clinton, we worked with Bill Clinton.
Yeah, they worked so well with Bill Clinton and Nuke Ingrich and the Republicans in Congress that they shut down government and impeached him.
Remember how well they worked together?
It thinks they were really all buddy-buddy.
They impeached him.
Okay.
Anything to say, Frank, that's funny.
Who was it?
I don't know.
I just, I don't know if it's funny, but I just think that the charge that Obama can't work with Republicans is ridiculous because he's done nothing but work with Republicans.
Nothing but.
All of his laws are based on Republican ideas, you know.
And so it's just, it's just a completely crazy charge that he won't work with people.
It's like he's been working for Republicans.
Well, again, it's this alternate universe, right?
And this vitriol and hatred for Barack Obama when he's pretty much a Bob Dole Republican.
Here's what David Gregory asked, Governor McDonald, about Libya.
The White House is saying one thing, the State Department another.
The White House saying the intelligence community gave them this information, kind of distancing themselves from that.
This was an attack on 9-11.
They killed our ambassador.
Is it sloppy the way it's being handled?
It's nice to see David Gregory making up for all those 9-11 questions he never got to the first time.
Really nice.
Look, David Gregory's all over this.
This thing, 9-11, he didn't ask a question about 9-11 for three years.
This thing happened two weeks ago, and he wants all the answers right.
That's what?
Guess what Governor McDonald says back to him?
Watch this.
I think Americans typically, when we're attacked, we rally together.
We don't use it for political reasons.
And as a veteran, I feel very strongly about that.
Wow, isn't that nice?
See, he's a veteran, so he knows that when we're attacked and on foreign land, you don't make a political issue out of it, right?
Isn't that what you're saying, Governor McDonald?
However, it does raise a couple larger questions.
However, however, I'm not racist, but.
However, it does raise a couple larger questions.
Oh, you're not going to do that thing.
However, it does raise.
Now, after saying all that patriotic crap, I'm going to pivot on how Obama apologizes for America and how we weren't prepared.
Is that what you're going to do?
Were we properly prepared?
Oh, are you going to tell me how weak his policies has made us and all that stuff?
Is that what you're going to say?
Has this administration's foreign policy in the Mideast helped somehow to contribute to an appearance of weakness of the United States of America?
Less secure, less strong foreign policy, weaker military, so that we're more susceptible to being attacked.
Oh, so that's what is the problem.
We need a show of strength like a mission accomplished banner.
Yeah.
By the way, you know what?
Let's see.
Good American foreign policy doesn't have monuments.
It's peace.
That's what you get to have as proof.
Our proof that we have good foreign policy right now is that we didn't start another goddamn war.
Yeah.
Except in Yemen with our drones.
Well, okay.
We need to burn some more Korans.
That's what we need to do.
Yes.
Hey, Frank, don't say that.
Frank, why are you saying that?
Cut that out, please.
You know, I got in trouble for burning a copy of the Koran the other day.
But can you really give me a better way to light a big pile of Bibles on fuck?
Let's see.
Bush, Bush's 9-11 got 3,000 people killed.
Obama's 9-11 got four people killed.
Smells like treason to me.
That's what I say.
We got to get to the bottom of this right now.
Romney would have held a press conference before the second tower fell.
Wow.
Wow.
Nice joke.
We have one more phone call from Barack Obama.
You want to hear it?
Sweet.
Jimmy.
Oh, man.
They just told me I got to do another one of these goddamn debates.
Like, I got nothing better to do.
At this point, man, this whole thing is just a circle jerk for like 10 douchebags.
Who are all these people who are still undecided?
Seriously, if there are any undecided voters listening to the show right now, what the fuck, man?
What are you waiting to see?
You people want me to come out and white face and sing Barry Manelow just so you know I can do it.
You waiting for Mitt Romney to suddenly start doing his own grocery shopping.
Shit ain't gonna happen.
I swear to God, you fucking jackal.
You got all the information you're ever going to have.
If you can't make up your mind at this point, I don't think you should be voted at all or operating a motor vehicle for that matter.
Because you're a dumb fuck.
Now I got to haul my ass to the tree.
Fucking jack off stuff in happening.
What?
Barry?
God damn it.
I got to haul my black ass out to Bulka Ratom Florida, the rectum of the known universe, and do some shuck and job for Bob fucking sheep and some sweaty old Jews.
All because you assholes can't figure out that you're not rich enough to be affected by my tax plan.
Seriously, go to your drawer, pull out your pay stub, and look at it.
Do you make a quarter of a million dollars or more?
No.
Then just vote for me and shut the fuck up.
Well, I got to go figure out what I'm going to say on this next debate.
Paulie just wants to say, hey, Richie Rich, what's going on with your dancing horses?
Then say, Obama out.
Throw the mic on the floor and walk out.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'll pull some real shit out of my ass.
Well, if you need me, I'm going to be in some godforsaken room with a bunch of nerds from Forendics Club.
Fuck me, Jimmy.
Okay, I'm cool.
Your president, take a week.
Okay, that was Mike McCrae.
Hey, if you like politics, you like movies.
I know you like movies.
I know you like politics.
There's a great new movie out.
It's called Janine from Des Moines.
And the subject, first of all, the delete actress is going to be with me in just a minute.
It's directed by Grace Lee.
It's an amazing film.
It's funny.
It's sad.
It's poignant.
It's serious.
Some people are calling it a mockumentary.
You've got to check out this film.
We'll have a link up at the website to it.
And right now, let's get to the main actress.
She's Jane Edith Wilson.
I've known her as an actress in Los Angeles.
You've seen her on lots of TV shows.
She always cracks me up.
And she's a great serious actress, too.
I caught her there traveling in the Midwest, going to the swing states, giving screenings of the film right now.
And we talked to her in between gigs.
We now is, I have her on the phone.
She's on tour promoting the new amazing film that I got a chance to see just a week ago, Janine from Des Moines.
It's actress and comedian Jane Edith Wilson.
You might have seen her on ER, Curb Your Enthusiasm, the Bernie Mac show, Seinfeld, and she's in a new great movie, Janine from Des Moines.
Hi, Jane.
How are you?
Hi, Jimmy.
Thanks for having me on.
Okay, so how do you explain this movie?
Some people say it's a documentary.
Some people say it's a mockumentary.
How do you describe it?
Well, you know, we're kind of avoiding the word mockumentary because that sort of lends itself to something farcical or just silly.
And I think you probably agree with me after seeing the film.
It's a little more on the serious side.
It's got a lot of elements to it that are, you know, that are very serious.
It's, as Grace likes to say, it's a work of political fiction.
Or she's also said it's part fiction, part reality, just like politics.
Yes.
So basically, you go to these right-wing, you go to like the conservative meetups in Iowa during the convention.
Not the convention.
I mean, what am I trying to say?
What is that called?
A straw poll, right?
Didn't you get it?
We kind of went to and from Iowa for about the nine months leading up to the caucuses.
We were there for a, in the spring of 2011 for a faith in freedom event.
Then we came back for the for the straw poll and the Iowa State Fair we captured in the summertime of 2011.
And then we came back for a very long stretch leading up to the caucus vote in early January.
And the beauty is the movie centered around this woman, Janine, from Des Moines, and she has a lot of regular problems that a lot of regular people have.
Your husband's out of work.
You get sick with cancer, and you don't know how you're going to manage things.
And so you go around and you get to actually interact with the candidate, the Republican candidates, and you kind of ask them questions.
And it was great because you actually got to ask them questions that nobody really asks.
And I think the big question nobody asks is exactly, hey, my husband's out of work.
I have cancer.
What am I supposed to do?
Yeah.
I mean, they're very simple, but they seem on the face of it.
Very simple questions.
She's a woman.
She's a conservative Tea Party patriot, you know, is the character I'm portraying.
And we wanted to see somebody in her shoes sort of face the contradictions in her own life as things start to fall away that she's always dependent upon.
And, you know, I have to turn to the candidates that she believes in so strongly and see if they have any concrete answers for her in her life.
You know, she's facing down some real dilemmas.
And we encountered along the way everybody from Mitt Romney to Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Gingrich, everybody.
Never got to get up too close and personal to Herman Cain.
He was kind of gone from things by the time we probably would have had an opportunity to do that.
And we've never had an encounter, personal encounter with Paul Lenty because he was gone after the straw poll and he sort of came and went that day.
So, you know, but we have some pretty significant encounters with, particularly King Rich Michelle Bachman, and then, of course, a couple of times with Mitt Romney, one that's particularly right.
One was actually made it on the ABC Nightly News, one of your interactions with Mitt Romney.
Yes.
By the time she encountered him on the day of the caucuses, she had really faced the fact that she was in a desperate, desperate situation.
So I sort of muffled my way through the crowd, which is what you have to do if you're a normal citizen.
It's not that easy to get close to these candidates sometimes.
And by the time I got to him, she's falling apart.
And she expresses to him, and she's crying and she's upset how much her life is falling apart.
And, you know, he gives her a hug and says he really wants jobs to come back to Iowa and, you know, has a moment with her.
And David Muir let off his newscast the night of the caucuses showing that moment on ABC News.
And Diane Sawyer, when they came back to her after showing the encounter, says, you know, it's so moving to listen to that woman.
And it's interesting because, you know, we've had some people take us to task and say, you know, CNN called us up and they wanted to interview us.
There was a very nice profile of the movie written in the New York Times.
So CNN said, well, why don't you come in, you know, tomorrow?
It came out on a Monday and we went out very early on Tuesday morning and talk about it.
And it was weird because the pre-interview with us was all these questions about the making of the film and where we were coming from as artists and all this stuff.
And then we got on there and the entire panel of people just got very angry with us and said, you know, you contribute to the circus, you know, and you're keeping real citizens away from the candidates and you should be ashamed of yourself and all this stuff.
And as far as I can tell, the last time I looked in the mirror, I am a real person.
So how dare you try to make a movie that actually shines a light on the political process.
Yes.
How dare you?
Why aren't you out doing the Jersey Shore like a good American would?
And they would have nothing, no stern constant condemnation for those people.
But yeah, you try to get involved in the political process.
You have something to say, and somehow you're a jerk.
Yeah, the attitude was really like, hey, hey, little girl, we'll take it from you.
Yeah, so that's exactly what it is.
You're encroaching on their playing field.
This is our purview here.
We're going to tell people about politics.
We don't need some crazy filmmaker.
I don't know if you know, but you know, Michael Moore is also treated very hostily when he goes on CNN.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
It was a very strange thing.
And, you know, we were totally taken by surprise at the level of just blanket disdain.
The entire panel of them just didn't, you know.
I think at one point Roland Martin slipped in a boy, you really punked him.
But then that was the last we heard of him from him.
The rest of them just sort of piled on.
Well, the movie.
But the movie's getting great reviews all over the place.
The New York Times gave it a great review.
I heard David Feldman giving a great review.
I'm going to give it a great review.
I saw it.
I was blown away by the movie.
I thought it was really amazing what you did.
Of course, I don't have a vision.
I'm just good at telling jokes.
So when you were telling me about the movie, I really couldn't envision it coming together the way it did.
And that's why you guys do the movies and I do the radio.
Well, you know what?
I have to say the best reviews that we've gotten and the most meaningful to me are now we're doing the swing states tour where we're going all over the swing states.
We started in North Carolina.
We're in the middle of Ohio right now.
We're heading to Wisconsin in a couple of days and then we'll end up in Iowa again.
And the average citizens who are coming out to these small community screenings at campuses and community centers and stuff so far have been blowing our minds.
Like the other day in North Carolina, we were in Durham and this woman stood up after the screening and she was very tearful and she said, you know, I am the face of Janine.
She stood up in the crowd and she said, I never thought this would happen to me.
I had my own business.
I was doing really well.
And then she had a brain tumor that gave her seizures and she's on disability now.
And she said all of her relatives are extremely conservative.
And when she gets together with them at a reunion, she said she has to sit there and think to herself, I'm the bottom feeder that they're all complaining about.
That's who I am now.
And she was very tearful and quite amazing.
And today we were at, you know, in Chilcoffy, Ohio, you know, way out in Appalachian, Ohio.
And we got a nice little group and they all gathered in this library and they all watched it.
And afterwards, just, you know, this one woman said, in the last year alone, I've lost three friends who've died because they had no health care.
And she said, I know it doesn't seem like much.
And I said to her afterwards, I said, you've lost three friends in the last year because they had no health care.
That seems like a lot to me.
It seems like a lot.
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
That's a lot of, that's a good idea.
Why didn't her friends just go to the emergency room?
Like Mitt Romney said.
Oh, you know, you can just waltz in there.
Well, that's the story.
I mean, in Janine's story, we showed that you cannot just waltz into an emergency room because she goes to the hospital that's supposed to treat people living in poverty.
But Janine falls in that pocket where she's making just too much.
And, well, I don't want to give the whole movie away, but it's quite interesting where she ends up.
And we did our due diligence when people see this movie where she ends up getting care is absolute complete truth.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a really ironic twist to the movie.
It's really something.
Yeah.
You know, and that's the thing about, yeah.
So what exactly, what time of day do they give chemotherapy at the emergency room?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I know.
It's just, well, when you're dealing with people who probably haven't lived in the real world for a very long time, it's so interesting that CNN yells at me for not being a real person.
And I'd love to know when the last time most of the major media outlets in this country actually addressed the issues that involve real people.
It was absolutely an out-of-body experience, you know, to be sitting there and being yelled at.
And I thought, oh, my goodness.
Well, I guess we've gotten under somebody's skin.
Some of these widow, you know, I have a really good friend in New York who watched it and was kind of outraged at that interview and said, you know, did the widow media get their family target?
You know, like, I know.
It's just.
Yes.
Well, it's now you're welcome.
Now you're the new Candy Crawley.
Oh, my God.
You know, how dare you actually fact check in the middle of a debate.
You're not supposed to, the facts aren't supposed to enter into these things.
But this, this movie, where can people see the movie?
Well, right now, there's several platforms in which one can see the movie.
If you go to our website, there's two different ways to get to it.
There's JanineMovie.com or Janine from Des Moines.com both lead to the same website.
And Janine is spelled J-A-N-E-A-N-E, in case anybody needs to know that.
And you can see on their website, first of all, one can just purchase it on iTunes right now.
We're up on iTunes.
So if you want to just watch it or order a copy To share it with friends, you can do that way.
We also have the list of all of our screenings coming up.
And one I really wanted to point out in particular, it fell on our lap at the last minute.
There's this thing called TUG, where you can order a screening to come to your local movie theater.
And if enough people buy tickets, it will show in, you know, in just the local theater in your town.
Oh, really?
So, so there's a tug screening up right now that takes place in Michelle Bachman's district.
Oh, that's great.
Now we have this very small window of time to sell the tickets or it's going to go away.
And we basically have, I don't know when your show is airing, but we basically have till tomorrow in the late evening to sell.
And I think we have like 69 more tickets to sell for it to be viable.
But we are also doing a real push right now with her people to get her to come to the screening and let me take her up for a cup of coffee.
And when you see the film, it will make sense.
Why I want to take her out for a cup of coffee.
Yes.
So that's like a very important screening.
But you can see they're all over Wisconsin, all over Iowa.
We have, we're this evening, we're at a tug screening.
No, no, it's just actually a local movie theater that's running it for a few days here in Columbus, Ohio.
So, and that's going to be at 7 o'clock tonight.
And so that's kind of gives you an idea of what we're doing.
So people can go to iTunes.
They can go to the, you know, I'll put a link up to your website on my website.
And then they'll get all the, the website is so well put together.
It's just, it's, it's pretty brilliant, and you can see everything.
But I was highlighting that one in Minnesota because I would really mean a lot to me to be in her district and show it to the folks in her district.
It's a super purple district.
It's a very close race there.
And I think it would be, it's a film that kind of highlights a lot of issues that I think people living in that district would really care about.
Yeah, it's highlighted.
It's really a great film.
The way it's, it's unique.
It isn't a mockum.
It's like it's a movie about this woman, Janine, and her life.
And then they show her interacting with real people, but you're in character.
So it's not a mockumentary.
It's really, but it's a drama that has a, but it's funny.
It's often funny, I would say.
Yeah, it is often funny.
I mean, you know, I think we're in such a place right now in politics in this country that the absurdities can't be avoided at a certain point, you know, where you're just, and sometimes when I watch it, it's sort of like I will look at Gray sometimes.
We were driving along this morning in the pouring rain to get to the screening in this little library in Chilcoff.
And I said, sometimes it just seems like a dream that we're doing this.
I can't believe we made the movie.
I can't believe we've got all these screenings set up so lickety split.
And, you know, it's so neat to be in these small towns in regular, you know, everyday America and have these people come out and share their stories and their love.
You know, even the most, one of the most moving things, too, besides people sharing their personal stories, is how many conservative people have come up to us that have come out to the screenings.
You know, nobody's been offended by the film.
Nobody's said, you know, I don't particularly care for your portrayal of this woman.
I think it's cartoony or mean-spirited.
It really means a lot to me that it's opening up a dialogue with people that I think would normally not be open to a dialogue.
That's interesting that you that's interesting.
I would think that they would hate you, but no, a lot of conservatives are telling me this.
In fact, one gentleman the other night was particularly, he was, he had little tears in his eyes, and he was an older gentleman.
He put my hand in both of his hands, and he said, I didn't want to speak out loud during the QA, but I want you to know I'm very conservative, and I love this movie.
Wow.
And then he walked out.
Wow.
So, you know, that sounds like a guy who's conservative because of abortion.
And then he hates everything else about being conservative.
Right.
Yeah.
Or it could be a million things.
Yeah.
I mean, the thing is, is like, I think sometimes when I watch this film, I think it's just as much a tale, you know, a cautionary tale to the people on the left as well.
Why can't we open up a lot of these dialogues?
Why do we have to be so polarized?
Why can't we come to the middle with facts at hand and put down our weapons and try and speak to one another?
Because I think the fact that she's shown it in a compassionate light, that it's not a hateful, I didn't go into this with a hateful spirit.
Right.
No, she's not.
No, Janine is portrayed as a real person.
And I think that's maybe conservatives are, you know, they can identify with her.
She's one of them.
And she's not like one of them in a cartoon way.
She's actually one of them.
And maybe then maybe that guy had maybe he had an illness or he lost a job or he knows people like that.
It probably does.
My biggest wish is that somebody who's super conservative that feels very comfortable in their life right now might come to see this and might have enough empathy and sympathy to watch it and say, not even if, you know, that could happen to me.
That could happen to somebody I love.
And maybe open their eyes a little.
Because, you know, Janine doesn't see it coming.
She does not see it coming down the track, you know?
No, she does not see it coming.
But I got to tell you, one of the best political movies I've ever seen.
It really is groundbreaking.
I don't think that's overstating it.
And your performance is a true tour to forest, Jane.
It was really amazing to watch.
That means a lot to me.
Thank you so much.
I've always known how talented you were.
You're a home run hitter, as I like to call it.
And it's really, people should, if you get a chance to see this on iTunes or if you can do the TUG thing, give out the website one more time.
www.janinemovie.com and it's j-a-n-e-a-n-e.
JanineMovie.com.
Okay.
Jane, thanks for taking time out and talking with us.
And please give our congratulations to the director, Grace Lee, as well.
I will.
That's a real triumph for you guys and much success.
Hey, we'll see you the Saturday before the election, November 3rd, the Saturday before the election.
It's the big pre-election stand-up show we're doing at the Hollywood Improv on Melrose and Crescent Heights in Hollywood.
Links for that show, you can get a links for tickets for that show are at my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com.
That's November 3rd, the Saturday before.
I'll be headlining that show.
And on that show will be a lot of hilarious people.
Laura Keitlinger, Rick Overton, David Feldman, will be on that show.
That's the Saturday before the election.
See you in Hollywood at the improv.
Are you looking for a fun way to help support the show?
Well, you're already using our Amazon.com box, which is a great way to help.
But in other ways, we run promotions every once in a while.
So we're running one right now.
So if you want to send somebody a nice gift, how about some strawberries from Sherry Berry's?
Have you ever sent them?
Have you ever seen them?
If you've never seen them, they're huge.
They're the biggest strawberries I've ever seen.
They cover them in chocolate.
And right now, for the month of October, they're dressing them up like little footballs, too, if you'd like.
They're really adorable little shows.
The point is, you want to send somebody these great strawberries.
They have a deal starting at $19.95 at Sherry's Berrys.
And how do you get that deal?
You go to berrys.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S.
You type in my code, Jimmy D, and it'll get you the deal, $19.95 deal plus when you do buy something and order it they send us a little something to help support our show over here it's a really great way if you've never had those strawberries you should get some for yourself we always get a box steph and i we love them i send them out as gifts i've sent them out as gifts before i even did this show and they started advertising on the show so that's a great way to help support the show it's berry's.com b-e-r-r-i-e-s you click click go there you click on the microphone in the upper right hand corner you type in jimmy
that's the code and then you get the good deal and then when you do that they also send us a little bit money to help support our show all right thanks for your support we could not do it without you today's show was made possible by you guys and was written by mike mccray steve zamorano robert yasimura jim earl steve rosenfield and mark hentonman vandalant it's a hard name to say but i said it and of course tv's frank frank conniff okay that was quite a show if
myself i hope you enjoyed it and i want to thank my special guest too david feldman nice of him to sit in it with steph zamurano also want to thank jane edith wilson for doing such a great job in that movie janine from des Moines you should check it out on iTunes when you can.
It's a great movie.
You like politics.
You like movies.
Then you go.
Okay, that's our show.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying.
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