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Sept. 7, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
This week, the Democratic Party held their national convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.
At the time this is being written, President Obama has yet to give his acceptance speech, but the consensus on Thursday afternoon was that Bill Clinton's speech helped Obama quite a bit.
The other feeling is that the Democrats have been more articulate than the Republicans, though generally speaking, the Democrats have always had better speakers than the Republicans ever since Lincoln got shot.
The only thing that marred Clinton's performance was playing Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow for the 7 millionth time as he left the podium.
But maybe that's just me.
Never did understand the appeal of that song or Fleetwood Mac, but I'll save that topic for a much slower newsweek.
I predict that Obama will give a powerful, effective speech, and the Republicans will say he totally blew it.
Still, the only really embarrassing moment of the Democratic Convention was that voice vote to put the word God back into the platform.
That just opened the Democrats up to the GOP charge that they needed to vote on whether or not there's a God.
Many of the delegates booed at the mention of God's name.
This could cost Obama thousands of votes among Midwesterners who know how much God hates getting booed, especially in an election year.
Of course, these are the same people who think Obama praised a mecca five times a day, so it's probably a wash.
The Democrats' best convention strategy may have been to let the Republicans go first, as many voters tend to believe whoever it was they heard from last.
Let me clarify that Fleetwood Mac did have a few good songs, but Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks were a little overrated.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
the show for the kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's our talking T-Wall.
And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined in studio across the glass from me, former writer for the Daily Show and hilarious comedian.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hi, Steve.
How are you?
Hello, James.
How are you doing today?
I'm doing very good.
Thanks for asking.
Next to you, host of Comedy and Everything Else, it's our resident Latina, Steph Zamarano.
Hello, Steph.
Hola, Jimmy.
And across the table from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.
Now on Hulu, it's Frank Connip.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Olay.
All right.
And on the phone with us on the phone, we have Mick Romney.
Hi, Governor.
Thanks for sitting in with us.
How are you?
Los Vedonia.
I don't know.
Is that French?
That's Spanish right now.
Is that Spanish?
Okay.
Okay, well, let me do a couple of jokes, and then we're going to get to the rest of the show, okay?
Bill Clinton's speech to the...
Yeah, I caught little bits and pieces of it.
I did watch the whole thing, but I saw highlights.
It did seem to go over a little bit better than George W. Bush's speech to the.
Oh, wait a minute.
He didn't give a speech.
Hey, the DNC.
Wait, no, I don't.
Oh.
Oh, you were giving me the business.
I sure was giving you the business.
Hey, the DN.
You don't want to wallow in the past like the Democrats do.
The Republicans are about moving forward into the future.
No, I think you're all about going back to the past, actually.
But let's get on to some more jokes.
The Democratic Convention salute to labor unions.
Did you see that?
Did you catch that, Governor?
Oh, no.
Was that tonight?
Yeah, it was pretty extravagant, but not nearly as extravagant as the RNC Convention's tribute to Scabs.
Well, you know what?
They don't get a lot of thanks.
So finally recognized Strikebusters.
And also, on the first night of the convention, we were going to do a retrospective tribute to Pinkerton detectives in the early 1900s because of the hurricane.
laughter laughter Bill Clinton gave a speech about health care, and Paul Ryan rebutted today saying he'll give you a voucher for a great speech about health care.
Hey, Nitz, remember, while James Taylor was singing at the DNC last night, Hank Williams Jr. was singing at a KK rally that's always playing in his head.
Hard to make racism funny.
Didn't do it there.
I think you said KK in that KK.
Oh, I didn't say three K's.
It was a different group.
Oh, I was K.K. So they have good bargains.
Yeah, KK in the Sunshine Band.
That's a racist stuff.
Did you see who was the, who was the name of that Texas politician?
Yeah, the guy with the twin brother from San Antonio was the Castle Castro, yeah.
The Castro brothers.
Oh, yeah.
Did you see the name, Julian?
Is that what you said, Mike?
Yes, he was very, very unfortunate last night.
Which, of course, is the only Republican rebuttal to his people.
Well, it was weird.
I was watching him.
He's like a compassionate Texas politician speaking on my live television.
And I was like, is this the Democratic Convention or Ripley's, Believe It or Not?
That's a slam.
It's hard to believe it.
Frank must have written this because he's sheepish about it.
Frank wrote all of these.
So what's coming up on today's show?
Coming up, we're going to talk about Kay Bailey Hutchinson's attempt to win women back to the GOP.
How's it going?
Here's a hint.
Not going well.
We're also going to talk about Ann Romney's try to win women back to the Republican Party.
How's it going for her?
Here's a hint.
Not too good.
Plus, guess who's back?
Guess who's back in the saddle taking them down?
It's Soledad O'Brien, return appearance.
Oh, really?
Yeah, she took out a teabagger the other night during the convention, and we're going to play it and talk about it.
The future, Mrs. Conniff.
Plus, George Will says some stupid stuff, and we've got some clips from the thing from the convention and some lot of other stuff.
That's all from the thing.
Plus, on the phone with us is Mitt Romney.
And we got a phone call coming up from Bill O'Reilly, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, well, this week's episode, this week's Oh My God segment of the Jimmy Door show is I'm going to play a couple of things.
Now, we all remember, I think it's cute the way the people who claim to love the Constitution the most have obviously never read it and continuously misquote it publicly, right?
Like when John Boehner said this.
This is my copy of the Constitution.
And I'm going to stand here with our founding fathers Who wrote in the preamble, we hold these proofs to be self-evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Of course, that's not from the Constitution that he's holding in his hand.
That's from the Declaration of Independence.
Okay.
Give me those pictures of Spider-Man.
But either way, wherever it was from, it was really fun for slaves to hear that back then.
Oh, I never thought about that.
Oh, my God.
So here, and here's Herman Kane, of course.
We don't need to rewrite the Constitution of the United States, rewrite it.
We need to reread the Constitution and enforce the Constitution.
He's not a reader, though.
No.
We don't need to rewrite.
Let's reread.
And I know that there are some people that are not going to do that.
So for the benefit of those that are not going to read it, because they don't want us to go by the Constitution, there's a little section in there that talks about life living in the pursuit of happiness.
You know, those ideas that we live by, we believe in.
Your parents believe.
Okay, not again, not in the Constitution.
Keep reading.
Well, this is coming from a guy who has a Dred Scott pizza that he sells.
He actually had a little bit more of a say on that.
They instilled in you when you get to the part about life living in the pursuit of happiness.
Don't stop right there.
Keep reading.
Keep reading.
That's when it says, when any form of government becomes destructive of those ideals, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it.
We've got some altering and some abomacing to do.
Okay, also, that second part, also not in the Constitution.
Okay, that's very nice.
So then we saw Bill Eisenhower.
The next part talks about live long and prosper.
That's the part where Spock dies.
That's the part where Spock dies.
He saw that.
And he's a strict constitutionalist when it comes to episodes of Pokemon.
That would have been funny like two months ago.
And then I heard Bill O'Reilly say this at the email section.
And finally tonight the mail, plenty of letters from kids over the holiday.
Lots of questions about Kids Are Americans 2, which turned out to be a very hot Christmas gift this season.
Courtney Young, San Francisco, Mr. O'Reilly, I really enjoyed Kids Are Americans too, but in the first sentence of chapter three, you say the Constitution guarantees life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Isn't that from the Declaration of Independence?
Another excellent question, Courtney.
The reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way.
The Declaration was the statement, the Constitution, the instrument.
Okay, there you go.
But it still didn't say it in there.
But it didn't say it.
Yeah.
So that was going to be my oh my God.
So here's the real oh my God then for this week.
I was watching this week with George Snuffleupagus and they had on, so we all know what happened with Paul Ryan's speech.
It got debunked even by Fox News, right?
And I'm going to mention the lady who wrote that article, by the way, for Fox News, because we all know she's going to be fired pretty soon.
And she actually takes donations at her page.
So I'll give out her info.
But so I'm watching, so we all know how I'm watching this week with George, and they had on Matthew Dowd.
You know, Matthew Dow Brad used to work for the George Bush administration.
He's a huge partisan hack, and usually I hate him.
But listen to what he had to say.
There was a Romney surrogate on trying to defend Paul Ryan.
Remember, he said, oh, the Barack Obama and that truck plant, he said the car plant would stay open in Jamesville, but it closed.
It closed before he ever became president, right?
So she was defending that.
And here's what Matthew Dow had to say, Matthew Dowd had to say.
The biggest problem with this argument, and it's like if you can so find a little tiny little kernel way down deep, it's like partially true, and we're going to make this argument.
The truth has become a casualty in the course of this campaign on both sides of the aisle.
Okay, of course, he had to do false equivalency.
He had to immediately do false equivalency.
Okay, hang on.
The truth is a casualty in this.
It's as if we're going to make any argument possible that's going to advantage our side in order to overcome the other side.
The Republicans do it, the Democrats do it.
Side scale.
So there's snuffle up against same scale.
And then he says, I think that, not necessarily on the same scale, but we'll see at this convention What?
So you're saying that the Republicans are bigger liars?
Is that what Matthew Dowd is saying?
Okay, it keeps saying we didn't get to the oh my God part yet, but that is pretty oh my gody that Matthew Dowd is admitting that, don't you think?
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you.
I get one guy.
I agree.
I agree.
We concur.
Mitt?
No comment.
Okay.
Okay, he's got more to say.
I think, from my perspective, what happened at this convention is that nobody is calling on it, or maybe few people are calling on it.
Paul Ryan, what he did in his speech, I think so stretched the truth.
And I, like Paul Ryan, have a lot of great respect for Paul Ryan, but the elements that he said about closing the GM plant, which closed before Barack Obama took president, about the Simpson Bowles bill, which Simpson Bowles, which he opposed, and then all of a sudden he sees he faults Barack Obama for.
At some point, the truth should matter.
Wow.
I'm nuts about this guy.
Wow.
Steve and Matthew Dowd are having a bromance now.
And I hate Republicans, but this guy seems like he's all right.
Matthew, this is the guy from the Bush administration who is a big D-bag.
And he's saying, and now here comes George Will, ready?
Every particular and what he said about the GM plant was right.
Man.
Him I don't know.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
There you go.
That's a total, oh, my God.
So that's my old story.
That's the oh, my God.
Wow.
Hank, I gotta, George Will has a little bit more to say.
He did not say it closed before Obama became president.
Yes, he did say that.
That's what everybody's upset about.
No, he didn't.
The one who said that was the so-called fact-checker at the Washington Post.
It's the fact-checker that got it wrong.
That's what I, it's the fact.
See, the fact checker, it's Romney and Ryan who are saying it.
Governor, did you, you got, how did you get to George Will on this?
Oh, my God.
I'm going to have to agree with you guys on this one.
But why did you pick him, Mr. Russell Face?
He's such a liar.
Well, Frank, let's not pretend.
I really make you my own choice.
Good answer.
I believe you there.
Okay.
You know what?
Yes, I'm sure.
All right, there's a little bit more to this.
Hang on.
He said it was closed in December 2008.
In fact, it was making trucks in April 2000.
George, the way he, when anybody that's watching that that didn't know the facts, said that anybody watching that speech, whether they say, as I say, just like the welfare thing, anybody coming away from that believes one thing, and you're saying the fact may be right, but he was trying to convey that Barack Obama was responsible for the closing of the GM plant, and that isn't true.
Yeah, he said, especially in Jamesville, where we were about to lose a major factory.
Entirely true.
He just won't stop.
He just won't stop, George Will.
He just says, everything is entirely true.
I will say in George Will's defense that he is a smart guy because he does wear a bow tie.
It means he's uptight, though.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But I wouldn't give him any credence except for the knowledge that he wears a bow tie.
And that he.
I think he's built a career on the presumption that anyone who looks that nerdy must be smart.
And Tucker Carlson tried that, and it didn't work.
Yeah, exactly.
He had to switch to a regular tie.
He just comes across as a smug.
Ha ha ha ha.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh, my God.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
You know, after this Republican convention, it's tough for them to get women to vote for me.
And after they used government to compel women to submit to unnecessary forced transvaginal ultrasounds, and after Rush Limbaugh spent three days calling an activist for women's reproductive rights a slut, and after the entire Republican Party and the national, on the national and local level,
demonized and defunded Plant Parenthood and preventative health care for poor women, and after Todd Aiken revealed that he and Republican vice presidential candidate both want to criminalize abortion and punish victims of rape and incest, it appears that after all that, the Republicans have a woman problem, meaning most women aren't broken inside and they won't be voting for them.
So here is Kay Bailey Hutchinson, senior Republican senator from Texas and Stockholm syndrome sufferer, pathetically trying to put lipstick on a pig and convince Jews to vote for Hitler.
I think that we maybe have not had the message that has resonated as well as we could.
And I think that...
Wow.
Really, Kay, your message isn't resonating.
You mean the message of shut up and let the man from the government forcibly stick something up your that message isn't resonating with women?
That used to work in the madman era, you know.
As Republicans, we need to do a better job of selling 19th-century sexual oppression to the women out there.
They're not the whole Republican strategy of telling women, now, don't you worry your pretty little head over this.
It's not working.
That isn't working.
Okay, she goes on.
She has more to say, Kay Bailey.
That we are going to try to correct that in every possible way.
Yeah, and, you know, to correct that problem every possible way.
And if there is no way to correct it, we'll just keep saying Obama gutted Medicare.
Plan B. Yes.
And by every possible way, she means no possible way except to send out a Stockholm Syndrome sufferers like Kay to say family a lot and generally try to trick women into not believing that Republicans are doing the things that they're actually doing nationwide.
Yeah.
Mitt, you can jump in whenever you want.
I'll keep going, though.
Well, I was just going to say that, I mean, I think the reason that she does speak so well to Republican women and her message resonates with Republican women is that her name sounds like a jewelry store.
LAUGHTER That explains everything.
Yes.
Okay, she's got some more to say.
I certainly think that Mitt Romney has a great record as a family man, an upstanding family man that has helped his wife raise five boys.
Oh, shucks.
laughter laughter Yeah, you're a solid family man there, Governor.
And if we have to pick one man to be in control of women's uteruses, you're the one that they want for the job.
And Governor, did you use your Mormon religion to pray that your sperm would just produce boys?
Because that's quite an accomplishment, having five sons.
What are the chances of?
Well, there are more children in my life than has been as well as more wives.
I think you should read.
I mean, she looks pretty good for bearing five sons.
Let's not kid ourselves.
She didn't bear all those sons.
We have three.
I'll be honest with you.
We have three what are called draft horse wives.
And then another wife just for fun.
American public, just like they fell in love with my wife Ann, will fall in love with Barbara, Grace, Celesta, and Scooter.
Governor, you know what?
This is all really humanizing you.
This is great.
Oh, everything's coming up, Willard.
Okay.
Mitt Romney.
Okay, Governor, hang on.
She had some more.
Kay Bailey Miss Jewelry Store had a little bit more to say to defend you.
You want to hear it?
Oh, boss.
Are you kidding me?
It's like manna.
Okay, here we go.
I think he does relate to the problems that families face raising children in this country.
And so I think that he will make that case more and more as people are focused on the elections.
I think we get a bad rap in the polls.
Yeah, a bad rap in the polls.
Yeah, we get a bad rap in the polls, which is caused by women being asked who they want to vote for for president and them saying not Romney.
That's bad.
Yeah.
Do you have anything to say about that, Governor?
Should I move on?
Well, I, you know, I mean, we love women in the Republican Party.
We love them.
And women are just the tops.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, maybe you should move on.
Okay, she's got a little bit more to say.
Yes, but I don't think it's true.
You know, the issues that I want to talk about are the ones that will make life better.
I mean, we've done things for the women's health issues.
Oh, yeah, they've done things for women's health.
You know, we've done plenty of things like pass laws to win equal rights for the fetuses living inside them.
That seems fair.
Well, abortion is very unhealthy, so we ask them a lot for women's health.
Governor, how is making it harder for poor women to receive breast cancer screenings and demanding a further traumatizing woman seeking an abortion?
How has that helped women?
Well, it shows them that life isn't everything.
There's more to life than actually being alive.
Which I think is a great perspective.
There's a great gift to give another giant of perspective.
I think, too, that, you know, they're giving women who they forcing them to have transvaginal ultrasounds, and it's giving them the thrill of seeing their kids on TV.
Well, that's true.
Well, here we go.
So now.
Imaginal ultrasound, by the way, is my favorite early 70s yes album.
Very progressive.
I love that album, too.
That was their great period.
The early 70s.
The double album, right?
Yeah, totally.
So, Governor, now your wife is up there.
That's the one that had the 30-minute track called Tales from Topographic Misogyny.
Folks, if you love 70s progressive rock humor, you've come to the right place.
Stick around for our Emerson, Lake, and Palmer chunk.
Oh, we're going to do 30 minutes on Tarkas.
I don't know what any of this.
I have no idea.
I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
If only I had brought my Mellotron, go ahead.
Well, you know me, I've got my Moog synthesizer.
Always rared up and ready to go.
Dude, I'm just going to go down in my next-door neighbor's basement and watch his color organ.
All right, there's a color.
I got a laugh in there, huh?
Mike didn't like it, though.
Mike, you didn't have color of mine.
I'm sorry, Governor, you didn't have color organs when you're listening to Pinky.
Mello.
Okay, well, listening.
Guess what?
Next, we're moving on to your wife, Governor, Ann Romney.
Here she is.
Oh, delicious.
You know, you guys are doing badly.
You guys are doing badly with all the minorities.
And here she is trying to speak from the heart to reassure women that you're not a Neanderthal.
And it turns out all she can really manage are empty platitudes.
There she goes, ready.
Women, you need to wake up.
Yes, you need to wake up from your dreams of equality, dignity, and self-determination.
Rise and shine.
She seems, it really humanizes and makes her so warm when she says stuff like that.
Women, come on now.
It's like she's giving an order to her servants.
Women, you need to wake up.
I can't believe a majority.
Say to the pile of kids that we found in our bedroom in the morning.
Women, you need to wake up.
I can't believe a majority of you are going to vote like a bunch of Mexicans.
You disgust me.
Okay, here we go.
Hey, my father was Mexican.
Oh, that's right.
Women, you need to wake up.
Women have to ask themselves: who's going to have and be there for you?
I can promise you, I know that Mitt will be there for you.
Yeah, I promise you he'll be there for you.
He'll stand up for you and he will hear your voices, unless you want universal health care and reproductive rights.
You know, seeing his tax returns is one thing, but hearing her say, you can trust me, Mitt is going to be great.
That's all anybody needs.
If his wife would just come out and say, trust me, it's a verbal agreement.
He's a great guy.
I promise you, Mitt is going to be great.
Well, didn't Kay Bailey just get done telling us that the Republicans like women, and now all they have to worry about is just Mitt Romney will take care of me.
It's so nice.
They're so comforting.
Exactly.
He will stand up for you.
He will hear your voices.
He knows how to fix an economy.
He's a can-do kind of guy.
Yeah, I can tell you, Mitt will be there for women.
He's hired dozens of them, knowing full well they weren't men.
He just, Mitt just gave a really moving feminist speech when he said, wives should always be lovers, too.
Run into his arms whenever he comes home to you.
Jack Jones.
Yeah, a little Al David tribute there.
Rest in peace.
Okay, again, I'm in the dark with what I'm afraid of saying.
The references are flying over his head as we speak.
There's nothing going to say that 100%.
Yes, Mitt knows how to fix an economy.
And since he's a Republican, he knows how to fix an election, too.
Perfect.
Well, he has his experience with abortions is that at Bain Capital, they reorganized a coat hanger company once.
Okay.
And we made a pretty penny out, huh?
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Music.
Well, hello to the podcast listeners.
How are you?
As you know, I had my computer stolen out of the trunk of my car.
Maybe you don't know.
Earlier this year, a couple of weeks ago, maybe a month and a half ago, and I just had my iPhone lifted.
Wow, what is that?
What kind of karma is that?
I'm getting things stolen from me.
Anyway, so it was kind of a tough week.
That's all I'm saying.
Have you ever been?
I still haven't gotten my phone.
So, I mean, it's really easy to replace an iPhone.
It's only $700.
So anyway, so I had to get a refurb one.
I'm waiting for it to come in the mail.
I just thought I'd share that personal anecdote with you.
And no, of course, I didn't have Find My High.
They have a great service that you can have set up for your phone.
If you lose it, it'll track it like a Lojack.
And it was available to me.
I had failed to set it up.
Okay, that's enough of that.
You know what I want to tell you about is that this show is made possible by the generous donations of you guys, the people who listen and like this show.
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Okay, so that's it for now.
Let's get back to the show.
Let's get back to the show.
Hey, welcome back to the Jimmy Door show.
I'm joining studio across the glass from me.
Oh, on the phone.
Let's just talk with the phone.
We have Governor Mitt Romney's on the phone.
Hi, Governor.
Hey, everybody.
How's it going?
Okay.
Across the glass from me, former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield.
Next to him from Comedy and Everything Else, the host of the popular comedy podcast.
It's Steph Samurano across the table.
It's from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff.
And what's coming up on the second half of the show?
We're going to talk about Soledad's O'Brien take a takedown of a tea bagger on her own show during convention night, convention coverage.
Plus, we're going to hear from Bill O'Reilly calls in.
He's got something to say.
I think Governor Chris Christie might stop by and say something.
And let's see what else.
Well, right now, we're going to talk about Soledad O'Brien.
But before we get to her, here's something real.
Here's the lineup.
Last week for Meet the Press.
Here was a lineup.
With us, former Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich.
Okay, Newt Gingrich.
We got a nice white conservative, huh?
NBC's Tom Brokaw.
Okay, we got another nice white conservative, huh?
Not super rich, couple of super rich millionaire, white conservatives.
New York Times columnist Tom Friedman.
Okay, we got a nice white, rich, conservative douchebag.
All right, Tom Freeman.
Presidential historian, Doris Kearns Goodwin.
Okay, we got a cheerleader for the Iraq war, another white cheerleader for the Iraq war and a plagiarist, Doris Kearns Goodwin.
And a former CEO of Hewlett Packard, now working to get more Republicans elected to the Senate this fall.
Okay, at least one progressive person.
So we got a nice balanced panel there.
Did you see that segment, by the way?
No, I did not watch it.
Oh, I saw it.
It was pretty, if you want to talk about that segment, it was pretty unbelievable.
And Tom Brokaw, they were talking about the Paul Ryan speech, and he said, well, you know, Paul Ryan really overreached in that speech.
Overreached.
Yes.
And I was yelling at my TV.
He lied, is what you mean.
And then a couple nights later, Tom Brokaw was on the daily show, and he used that same expression.
He overreached, and Jon Stewart, to his credit, said, Isn't that the nicest possible way to say that he lied?
And that's a new.
Why would a newsman tiptoe around telling the truth?
How does that help?
Well, also, Newt Gingrich went on this rant that was all lies, and nobody stood up to him on the panel.
Nobody challenged him.
Everybody sat there.
You could see it in their faces.
Thomas Friedman stumbled saying, Oh, I'm a Planned Parenthood Democrat, and Doris Kearns-Gridwin and Tom Broker, they're all just staring there.
You could see their thought process was like, Don't say anything.
I don't want to blow this job.
What did he say?
He was saying about how Democrat about the Democratic platform involved killing babies.
Wow, really?
Yeah, you know, in the whatever trimester.
It was some kind of crazy, crazy thing.
I don't understand why Newt Gingrich has any platform.
Yeah, why are they letting him come out?
And they sit there in complete shame?
Yeah, he left Congress in shame.
I'm just simply glad they let you hang around the studio.
Oh, Mr. Brokaw, is that you?
Oh, Mr. Broca, are you feeling better?
Yes.
Sorry, Ari.
Is this another news program?
You don't want me to be a parent.
Well, thank God for you.
Mr. Brokaw, could you do me a favor?
Could you talk about the Centennial Olympics or the Achille Laurel?
Well, both were stirring examples of America.
Wait, what are we?
Wait, what?
Centennial Olympics.
Can you say the Achille Laurel?
What is that?
That was a shit.
You don't remember that?
That was the ship that terrorists attacked.
Terrorists attacked the Achille Laurel.
In the 80s.
Yeah, it was a big, big thing back then.
And I like it because whenever you would report about it, you'd go, Today, from the Achille Laurel.
Sorry.
I don't remember news stories from when I was six years old.
And then you would switch and pivot, and you would talk about the Centennial Olympics.
And those were your good times.
That's my impression of you, Mr. Broca.
Okay, so it's great that he's, we have Broca on the line.
We've got Mitt Romney on the line.
That is quite a panel.
You know what, Frank?
I'm going to go.
I will go back and get those clips and drop them in.
And I'm sorry I don't.
I couldn't watch it.
I couldn't believe this.
Yeah, you'll scream at the TV.
I couldn't believe that was the panel.
I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.
Yeah, and it was worse than you could have even imagined.
You know, I just want to know: why does Newt get invited ever to any of these shows?
And on the campaign this year, he said all these horrible hate racists, a lot of them towards journalists, like hateful things about the press, untrue, hateful things.
And here they are having him welcoming him back and sitting before him in total fear when he's spewing out these lies and they don't challenge him.
He did everything except call Juan Williams a spring.
Yes, yes.
He did everything except use that.
It was unbelievable.
And also his whole thing about Obama, you know, he believes in an anti-colonial Kenyan.
Oh, yeah.
It's all like dog whistle stuff.
And yet he's, like I said, he's welcome back to the pundit world.
Well, this is a perfect transition.
Well, in all fairness, it is a very anti-American sentiment to be anti-colonial.
Because our founding fathers would not have stood for any kind of anti-colonial.
Never mind.
So that leads us right into.
Okay, so Soledad O'Brien's panelist on Tuesday's starting point, she got into kind of a testy exchange with a Tea Party activist named Amy Creamers.
Now, she's not just an activist.
She's the chairperson of Tea Party Express.
So she's not just a regular ignorant person.
She's the head nutjunct.
She's an important, ignorant person.
And she tweeted, she tweeted that we need a president that the President Obama doesn't love America the way we do, and that we need a president who loves America.
So Soledad O'Brien, like, didn't, she called her out on that, I guess, right?
So because apparently the Tea Party people are getting smart and they're not saying crazy stuff when they go on CNN, and they leave that for like Twitter and their blogs and redstate.com and stuff like that.
And the CNN correspondents most of the time.
All right, so here, so here's she, here she asks her about that.
Reported to me.
Do you think that President Obama doesn't love this country?
Doesn't think that he is more about a global being a global black.
I don't know the word.
Black bastard.
Kind of black bastard, porch monkey.
There's a global blackness about him.
Yeah.
I think he's the other.
The other, yes.
Muslim, not like us, Kenyan.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Hang on, I was like, here we go.
President Obama doesn't love this country.
Doesn't mean that he is more about a global being a global.
Oh, what's the word?
It's A bad word being more one world, global with other countries.
What is she on passwords?
One word.
Global.
No, no, next one.
Next one.
And even her saying that he's global, it sounds like that sounds good.
Yeah.
That a world leader would actually think of them.
It's good.
He's the leader of the free world.
He thinks he's thinking on the world.
Yeah.
He's thinking on a global scale.
And we don't, you know, when he says God bless, he means everybody.
And we don't like that.
We don't want any of the God blessings going over to Canada.
And God forbid, God bless America.
Isn't it across the ocean?
That's right.
I don't want any of that going to Mexico.
Not even to Canada.
I'm with you, socialists.
Okay, so here she goes.
About the shining city on the hill, the greatness that has always been America that our founding fathers were about.
Yeah, yeah.
Not only does Obama not believe in the shining city on the hill, but he'd let just about anybody move in there, if you know what I'm talking about.
I do believe that.
I mean, I absolutely believe it.
I'm not going to run from that.
Look, I mean, President Obama, and I know I'm going to take a lot of heat from this, but he's never run anything.
Mitt Romney, you asked me what is the case for Mitt Romney.
Mitt Romney, time and time again, has taken companies that are failing and turned them around.
Yeah, he's not the kind of leader we've always had in America.
He's never been a governor.
He's never run anything, and he's never been white.
Not once.
So Mitt Romney is able to run a company into the ground.
And that's what she thinks is good.
You know, sell it off.
And then Obama's been president for a couple of years, but he hasn't ever run anything.
She's pivoting away from that he's not an American.
She goes into, oh, he's never run anything, you know.
Right.
But she's not excited.
Like most Americans have.
Most Americans have run large corporations.
Just corporations or people.
With the vast majority of the American public.
You know, because our best presidents are guys who have run things, right?
Like Hoover.
Yeah, Hoover was a very revered corporate guy.
And as I think Secretary of Commerce before he was president, he was.
Ronald Reagan ran a union.
I mean, he ran something.
He had to take over the direction of bedtime for Bonzo one day when Fred DeCordova had to go to lunch for something.
A lot of names.
That was a movie that Reagan was in.
President Lincoln used to be.
That's what I did know.
President Lincoln was a general manager of Sambos for a lot of time.
Not a lot of people know that.
Okay, here.
She's got more to say, this tea party or with Soledad.
I'm not very good with numbers, but it's going to cost.
More facts.
No good.
Or anything.
Cost 7.3 million jobs by 2020.
But now remember, this is why she doesn't think that Barack Obama loves America.
She just starts talking about things she doesn't like about him.
I'm not very good with numbers, but it's going to cost 7.3 million jobs by 2020.
And $1 trillion in compliance costs between 2020 and 2030.
She's talking with numbers.
She's talking about Obamacare.
But it's going to cost 7.3 million jobs by 2020.
And $1 trillion in compliance costs between 2020 and 2030.
I just never understand what any of that has to do with loving the nation.
I mean, I honestly, I always feel like that's a code word for something else.
I never, like, I just, I mean, I don't.
I mean, it's a code.
No, it's not.
It's not.
It's not a code.
Solidad.
I'm just not good with numbers.
Yeah.
Here she goes.
I don't feel like he is.
I'm not sure for questioning the president's love for this country.
Well, I just, I don't believe that he loves America the way that we do.
We do.
You know, the way we do.
And we love it in a white way.
Right?
What does she mean by that, Governor?
You think?
Oh, well, I wouldn't want to speak for her.
I'm sure she had the best of intentions when she said that.
But yeah, okay, that was pretty racist.
Ridiculously coded language.
So I appreciate you.
You know what?
I embrace that.
You know, my campaign will take it.
I appreciate.
You know, Governor, I appreciate you saying that, admitting that.
Is Tom Brokaw there?
I'd like to see if we can get a newsman to confirm that what she's saying is pretty racist.
Okay, hold on a second.
Hang on.
He's turning around right now.
I think it'd go something like this.
Tom?
Where'd he go?
I'm just waiting for the sarcastic comments, Savior.
Go ahead, Mr. Broca.
Do we have you?
Hi, Dom Sire.
Do you have a question?
Jimmy.
I was wondering what your take on this teabagger with Soledad O'Brien is.
Do you think she's being racist?
Well, it's not very clear of what she was saying or whether or not she was explicitly revealing a racist point of view, but it's perhaps questionable.
And I'll just leave it there because I want to be hired back.
You think she might just...
There's really no such thing.
You think she says you don't think she's just overreaching?
Oh, let me check the handbook.
Is that code for lying still?
Yes.
Yes.
She is overreaching.
Okay, here we go.
He's more about one world.
I mean, more about.
I just explained it to you.
Oh, did you?
Well, clearly I'm not understanding.
Well, I mean, I don't know how else to explain it.
Policy is foreign policy.
Yeah, I don't know how else to explain it.
Listen, I hate Obama.
All right.
Would you please quit asking me why?
It only distracts me from hating Obama.
I love how she started off by saying, you know, I'm not good with numbers, and I'm probably going to take some flack for this.
Yes, I'm going to take some flack for this.
Do you mean for this racist thing you're going to say right now?
Yeah.
I mean, we are not leading.
We're waiting on others to tell us what to do.
That's never been the American way.
That's never.
I believe it was Syria.
Was it Syria that told us what to do?
That's never.
I believe it was Syria.
Was it Syria or one of the conflicts where the French told us we could go and do what we needed to do?
She has no idea what she's talking about.
No, she's a guest on the show.
She really should just...
She doesn't even know anything about tea.
Yeah, she doesn't know anything.
And this is all her explanation of why she thinks Barack Obama doesn't love America.
It's because he didn't lead in, where was it, Syria or was it Libya?
Or was it France told us?
You know, I never let facts interfere with my breathtaking ignorance.
Hey, I led in France when I led a mission there in the late 1960s when I was a Mormon missionary.
So when you were supposed to be in Vietnam as fighting.
Hey, going to France is no small beans, Mike.
I actually think it is small beans.
Okay, this woman, she actually has more to say.
I'm not kidding.
So she, by the way, she was upset that Barack Obama worked with other world leaders in Libya.
I guess she misses the arrogant, aggressive swagger that works so well for President Bush.
Okay, here.
Clearly, he's never seen Back to the Future.
The foreign policy, it's not about foreign policy.
We're never all going to agree on foreign policy.
Okay, so now she's totally just changed her mind.
It's not about force.
She said it was all the one world thing.
Yeah, but now it's not.
It's totally something else now.
But why the Tea Party movement has been so successful?
This is the leading from behind, right?
Yes.
So I was the journalist that actually reported that quote.
So the leading from behind was something that was told to me.
And actually, what it refers to is the strategy in the UN.
The U.S. led a coalition in the UN to get military authorization to topple Qaddafi.
So the quote actually is the opposite of what you're saying.
It actually refers to the strategy that Obama used in the UN to get all of the nations to support the U.S.'s use of force resolution because after the Bush years, it was really hard for the U.S. to go to the UN and get support for the use of force because Bush was really, really unpopular.
Okay, so now she's mean of him to say, hey, what you're saying is the opposite truth.
I'm the reporter.
And for him to have all those.
All the facts ready.
I was actually the reporter who did that.
You're reporting it, but you're saying it.
It's like, don't you, that's almost like that thing from that Woody Allen.
Was it the Woody Allen movie where they're in line for the movie?
Oh, and they bring Marshall McLuhan out from the Unloin.
That's like that.
I'm actually the reporter who reported it.
Right, right, right.
And slammed Dunk.
And guess what?
Do you think it shut her up?
Do you think it's general?
She's not going to accept any of that as facts.
Let's change her mind.
Let's see if it shuts her up.
She's been proven wrong on everybody about foreign policy.
I guess my question is: when I hear someone say that somebody doesn't love the country, and you know, I'm very susceptible to the dog whistle thing, but I always like the dog whistle.
To what?
Did you hear her?
To what?
To what?
Yeah.
There's some message in that.
When someone says that somebody doesn't love the country, and you're talking about the president, I just find that to be a very odd comment.
I don't believe.
I mean, look, we're sitting.
I mean, we're sitting here.
It's our goal, really, of this administration to be the leader that we always have been, to be that shining city on the hill.
What does that mean?
Because he loved his country.
He doesn't think he loves this country and he's not this country and you want to, I mean, to restore our heritage and that sort of thing.
Heritage.
Restore our heritage.
Liberty.
That's true.
And that sort of thing, you know, which is dog whistle talk for putting the Suntan lotion back in the White House medicine cabinet.
She's doing it right there.
She's doing it right there.
What?
Dog whistle?
What?
What is it?
She pretends to not know what it is, and then she does it immediately.
You know, if we want to get our heritage back and all that, you know, all that stuff that white people say why we don't like our black presidents.
I didn't see the visual of this interview, but I'm guessing, did she have one of those beer hats on her head?
I just picture her.
By the way, I'll give my left nut if that woman knew who gave the original City on a Hill speech that they always mention.
Was it it wasn't.
Well, Reagan, he stole it from John Winthrop.
Oh, that's it.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
They just think that's a Reagan original.
I couldn't remember how to pray.
I thought to Tocqueville said it.
I couldn't remember.
You like to Tocqueville because you get medical marijuana.
Yeah.
Oh, that would be a great name for that.
That's a heady reference.
You know, it's like he killed Osama bin Laden.
Yeah, but maybe it was a lover's quarrel.
We don't trust him.
The one who's really at fault here is CNN for letting idiots like that on their shows.
Yes.
This is how they've decided to go.
You know what, though?
The fact that Soledad O'Brien's on with her is kind of okay.
Right.
But if Soledad hadn't been there, if it had been Wolf Blitzer or she would have just been allowed to say what she said.
She would have treated it as an equal thing to everyone else.
So joining us now is Bill O'Reilly.
Bill on the phone.
Bill, what did you think of the DNC convention?
Oh, it was a disaster.
I don't see how the Democrats can possibly recover.
I just don't see it.
Obama is close.
He is certainly going to lose.
The folks are going to send him packing back home to Kenya.
Really, come on.
Bill, most people are saying the convention was a big success for the Democrats.
Well, yeah, well, most people are idiots.
Most people are just imbeciles.
Most people are knuckle-dragging retards who can't chew gum and chew gum at the same time.
That's a fact.
So why do you think Obama's going to lose?
Because of the wisdom of the American people.
I'm talking about the folks, the regular Joe's who put in an honest day's work and the regular James who spend all of the regular Joe's money on contraception because they're a bunch of dirty whores.
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay, well, what did you think of Bill Clinton's speech?
Ah, he disgusts me.
Gross.
Now, the lame stream media, the American public, may have forgiven him for his sexual transgressions, but I haven't.
I'm telling you, when Clinton hit that convention stage, I was so angry, almost made my love, lovely segment producer's skin bleed with the loofah I was rubbing my anger out on him.
Wow.
You sound pretty upset, Bill.
Well, my buddy Dick Morris was so offended by the immoral presence of Bill Clinton, he had to stop licking the toes of the hooker he was with.
He wanted to pay full price.
And in this economy, that is not a good thing.
So, Bill, tell me, Michelle Obama, what did you think of her speech?
Okay.
Let me tell you something, Jimmy Dore.
When I watch Michelle Obama, I fear for the children of our country.
She's trying to get them to stuff to face it with vegetables, tofurky, and brown rice.
Yeah, you heard me.
Not white rice, brown rice.
That's reverse racism.
I think we could see what the White House is aiming for there.
That's reverse racism.
Okay.
Bill, I think she's just trying to fight childhood obesity.
Well, why?
What's wrong with obesity?
Did obesity stop Chris Christie?
Sure, he could never fit his ass through a toll booth on the New Jersey turnpike, but he was one of our great governors.
Well, what do you mean was one of our great governors?
Well, he's still alive?
I believe so, Bill.
Are you serious?
Christie won another day without Keeling Oral from a massive foreigner?
That is amazing.
Only in America, Jimmy.
Only in America.
Oh, I'm not sure that I. Hey, but let's get back to Michelle Obama and the kids, Jimmy.
Kids should not be wasting their time eating Food that's good for them.
They should be spending time reading my new children's book, Killing Lincoln.
The worst Republican ever got what he deserved.
Hey, Bill, Bill, that sounds horrible.
Yes.
And it's available at a discount for our premium subscribers at billorilly.com.
Hey, Bill, that's enough.
Thanks for joining us, buddy.
Okay, why don't you go fuck yourself?
I'll talk to you later.
Wow.
Another great job by the inimitable Mike McRae at mikemcrae.com, the best impressionist in the country.
I want to remind everybody in a few weeks, September 21, 22, that's a Friday, Saturday.
We're going to be telling jokes at the Burbank Comedy Club called Flappers in downtown Burbank.
That's Friday and Saturday, September 21, 22.
There's a link over at the website, jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And the next weekend is September 29th is left, right, and ridiculous at the Improv Lab in Hollywood at the Improv Lab in Hollywood.
So that's two weekends in a row.
September 21, 22, come see us out at Burbank at the Flappers Comedy Club.
Two shows each night.
Links at the website.
And then the next weekend, September 29th, it's left, right, and ridiculous at the improv lab.
Oh, tickets are only 10 bucks, huh?
And you know, it's the funniest show in forever.
Okay, today's show was written.
I want to say, tell you, today's show was written by Mike McRae, Steph Samurano, Steve Rosenfield, Frank Conniff.
That's right.
Okay.
And me.
Today's show was also produced by me, but who cares?
All right, that's it for this week.
And thanks for all your support.
Thanks for giving us a nice review over at iTunes.
Thanks for checking out the show on the Young Turks Network.
If you do one or any of those, all, all or any, whatever you do, we appreciate it.
I'm glad you like the show.
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