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Aug. 31, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
This week, the Republican Party had their national convention in Tampa, Florida.
At the time this is being written, Mitt Romney had not yet made his acceptance speech, although insiders predict he will be awkward and self-conscious.
Also, there was a strong feeling that Romney would try several jokes, none of which would work because he has no timing.
It's been said this is Romney's best chance to tell the voters more about himself, which might be the right strategy since if he told them what he'll do as president, he'd have no chance.
Earlier in the week, the Republicans overwhelmingly approved a platform that would ban abortion and gay marriage and Medicare, repeal Obama's health care law, and disregard all presidents after McKinley.
To help put across an agenda-only crackpot support, on Wednesday, Paul Ryan delivered an acceptance speech, most notable for how he avoided making any statements that were true.
Despite this, pundits were saying the speech was so effective it could sway the votes of millions of people, too stupid to be reasoned with anyway.
Speaking of right-wing figureheads, Clint Eastwood was expected to introduce Romney to the convention, so I'm definitely not seeing his baseball movie.
Eastwood's presence is certain to bring an electric excitement to the hall, which will only dissipate the moment Romney starts talking.
I guess if the only voters your party has left are rich old Caucasians, Clint Eastwood's your king.
Also, even though he's 82, he's obviously not worried about losing Medicare.
But as far as I'm concerned, now he's really unforgiven.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for up-minded, low-livered lefties, the kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T. And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dolo.
It's Jimmy Dolo.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined in Studio Across the Glass, former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you today?
I am doing horrible.
I had my phone just stolen here at KPFK because that's the kind of people we have around here at KPFK that steal your stuff when you leave it on the table.
So that's how I'm doing.
Over to Frank Connoff from Mystery Science Theater 3000 in Cinematic Titanic.
It's Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
Hey, Jimmy.
Frank, what were you thinking when you left the phone out on the table when you came into the studio?
I was.
Did you put you put your wallet and your important papers out there and then go into the studio?
I was thinking, I wasn't thinking about your phone because it's not my phone.
So I wasn't thinking about it.
Okay.
Frank Connoff is nominated for the world's shittiest apology.
I think he's got a lock.
Hey, you didn't build that, but you did let it explode and fall to the ground by not doing your job.
Condoleezza Rice doing a better job reading her speech last night than she did reading Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States memo.
If only history could be as kind to Condoleezza Rice as the RNC convention crowd was last night, huh?
Chris Christie gave a speech too two nights ago.
He touted a second American century.
It's not surprising to hear him ask for a second helping of something.
Chris Christie says respect is more important than love and cake is more important than salad.
Okay.
RNC convention delegates seem to have the same enthusiasm for Mitt Romney that Comic-Con attendees have for Battlefield Earth.
That's a good joke because it makes fun of Mitt Romney.
Clint Eastwood will be speaking at tonight's GOP.
We're taping the show before all the big speeches.
And Clint Eastwood's going to be speaking tonight at the convention.
And Chuck Norris is going to be asking somebody to get his autograph.
So did you hear Paul Ryan says his love he has his on first and last on his iPod is ACDC and Led Zeppelin.
Yeah, it turns out Paul Ryan's love of ACDC and Led Zeppelin is going to finally make Kenny G and Lionel Ritchie cool.
Coming up on today's show, we're going to talk about all the crazy stuff that has been happening.
And we're going to talk about a complete convention made up out of complete lies.
I haven't lived that long, but I haven't seen anything quite like this.
George Orwell could not have done any better.
Plus, we're going to hear from, so we're going to do that.
We're going to take you all through the convention, all through the speeches, mostly about the media's bad reaction to the lying.
Plus, we're going to hear from Governor Chris Christie calls in, and Ron Paul calls in because he gave a half-hearted endorsement of Mitt Romney.
Wouldn't fully endorse him.
We're going to ask him about it.
We asked him about it Monday, actually.
He called into the Young Church show.
Well, that's coming up today.
Plus a lot, lot more on the Jimmy Dore Show.
We'll be right back.
We all know that Mitt Romney's not willing to denounce the birthers.
And in fact, he's proud to lock arms on stage with the biggest birther of them all, Donald Trump.
And he's losing so bad to a bomber with every single minority group that he needs to win every shade of the white vote just to remain competitive.
I mean, every shade, from Jim Gaffigan translucent to John Boehner's safety alert cone.
So Mitt decided to appeal to Whitey himself with some bad comedy, and here it is.
I love being home in this place where Ann and I were raised, where both of us were born.
Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital.
I was born at Harper Hospital.
No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate.
They know that this is the place that we were born and raised.
Good one.
Oh, that's hilarious.
You notice people aren't laughing.
They're cheering.
Which, you know why nobody's ever asked you for your birth certificate, Mitt?
Because you're white.
That's why, because you're white.
What a knee slapper.
I got a tag for you, Mitt.
Try this one after you do that joke next time.
Say, hey, I hear that New York police stopped and frisked over 200,000 blacks and Hispanics in January of this year alone.
Well, I was in New York and nobody ever stopped and frisked me.
See, it's the same kind of joke.
It's because it's a joke that highlights that you're from privilege and you're white.
Okay.
The crowd wasn't laughing with him.
They were laughing at Obama.
Black people.
Right.
That's what they were laughing at.
And so you have to ask yourself, what is the joke there?
Is the joke that nobody would ever question you, Mitt Romney, in the ways that they have been questioning the black guy for the past three years?
Because that's the whole point, Mitt.
Nobody would ever think to question a rich white guy, but now even the top of the Republican ticket participates in the worst race baiting campaign since Willie Horton.
Yes, you are the majority and black guys with funny sounding names scare the hell out of a big swath of white America.
So let's pander to those and enjoy the cheers of the scared and the ignorant.
I don't think Mitt Romney said that, and the thing that makes this even more nefarious or Rotten to the core is that Romney doesn't really think Obama isn't an American citizen.
He's just hoping white conservatives will think he thinks that.
That is really what's happening.
It's very clever.
How is he able to separate himself from the birtherism stuff?
Well, he's I think he has a lot of natural ability as a reprehensible person, but he needs to convince the Tea Party that he's even more reprehensible than he really is.
That is exactly what he's trying to do.
He's trying to act like he's a worse person than he is.
I mean, he's had a long productive life of not caring about poor people and being greedy and enriching himself.
But because of his lack of skills as a politician, he's had a hard time conveying that, and he needs to bring the birther stuff and all that.
Well, Chris Hardball actually, well, so we all know, so there's the, that was pretty jaw-dropping him participating in that.
Now, they've tried to play it off like it was just a joke, and he's bad at joking.
But there's also, you know, it comes on the heels of his welfare commercial, right?
The welfare commercial, which says that Barack Obama quietly lifted the work requirements for welfare.
So the meme is that the whole narrative is that Barack Obama's taking white people's money that you pay in taxes and handing it out to black poor people.
And the reason they're saying that is because he never did that.
He didn't even remotely do that.
Right.
And they're just saying it anyway.
They're just saying, they're exactly Frank.
They're just saying.
So it's black is white, up is down, in is out.
And it's not really getting debunked like it should.
Like that welfare ad didn't, it did get debunked.
Like newspapers and stuff said, hey, this isn't true.
And even other Republican governors have said it's true.
But if you repeat it and you run ads constantly, it doesn't matter if it's true or who debunks it because it sinks in.
So Chris Hardball was on Morning Joe, and he actually was on with Reince Priebus, who is our Republican National Committee chairman.
And a beloved Disney character.
And he talks like he's drunk.
I don't know if you've ever noticed that.
Yes, I have noticed that.
He's always a little bit drunk.
Brain damaged?
I think so.
Like he had a stroke and nobody told him.
And he's a young guy, Reince Priebus.
That's why the new Toyota Priebus car doesn't work that well because it feels like it's drunk.
Yes.
And so here he is.
So here's Chris Hardball.
He actually brings it up.
He actually brings it up.
And by the way, Tom Brokaw's on the panel.
So here we go.
I have to call you on this, Mr. Chairman.
You are suggesting that somehow Obama's been running a negative campaign, Obama, and your guy's been running a positive campaign.
That's not accurate.
The fact that they both stopped all the negative, I'm not sure who would win, but they're both the negative.
That cheap shot about, I don't have a problem with my birth certificate, was awful.
It is an embarrassment to your party to play that card.
This stuff about getting rid of the work requirement for welfare is dishonest.
Everyone's pointed out as dishonest.
And you are playing that little ethnic card there.
You can play your games and giggle about it.
The fact is your side is playing that card.
When you start talking about work requirements, you know what game you're playing.
Everybody knows what game you're playing.
It's a race caller.
So does that surprise anybody that Chris Hardball did that?
Yes.
Not completely because he's, you know, I think that he respects power.
He respects political power.
And Obama is the one who has political power now.
And so he's on his side.
So it doesn't surprise me when he does stuff on Obama's half in that way.
And from listening to it, you hear the audience applaud.
But by not watching you, you don't realize that he has just said something incredibly awkward to be around a bunch of other pundits and journalists.
Yes, he has.
In fact, he's made them all very uncomfortable.
They're all very uncomfortable.
They're on the nose.
Yeah.
So let's see how this plays out.
And this thing about a birth card.
Yeah, if your name's Romney.
Yeah, you were well-born.
You went to prep school.
Yeah, brag about it.
This guy has an African name and he's got to live with it.
Look who's going further in your life.
Just a man.
Who was born on third base?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, this is.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Making fun of the guy's birth certificate issue when it was never a real issue, except when the right wing.
You think Mitt Romney's playing the race card?
When he said, yeah, when he plays cold, there's no doubt he did with his birth certificate.
No doubt.
No doubt.
Why would he bring it up?
Why would he say I have no problem with my birth certificate?
What's that supposed to get?
That's an awkward joke.
Because he misfired badly on the show.
Why would he do it?
Well, I'm just asking you.
Do you think that Mitt Romney is playing the race card?
Well, no one, yeah.
Do you really?
Oh, yeah, and I think his work requirement fits right into it.
That's the race car, too.
Of course it is.
Welfare?
Who's standing?
I mean, I'm happy.
I'd love to see Joe Scarborough in 1955 Georgia.
So you're telling me Jim Crow is racism?
Is that what you're telling me?
You're telling me that's, you're telling me Bull Conner trying to keep order on a bridge is racism?
And a man who openly makes appearances and fundraisers with Donald Trump, the idea that he's not playing the race card is pretty ridiculous.
And Joe Scarborough is the host of a show.
He's stunning.
It's official.
Joe Scarborough, world's worst detective.
I think he's being coy.
I think the Emmy goes to Joe Scarborough because I don't think he's serious about that.
I mean, I think he's.
Oh, I think he's serious.
I think he's serious.
Yeah, because he does say absurd stuff like that all the time.
He's like, oh my, that's just, this is just, you're going to say that that's racism?
Yes, racism is racism.
Yeah, Joe, it's okay.
It actually exists still today, Joe.
Well, that's what they.
To think that welfare thing is not a racist thing.
It seems disingenuous for Scarborough to pretend that he doesn't see it.
He thought the Willie Horton ad was an effort to reach out to the ethnicity.
Yes.
So Joe Scarborough just can't follow it.
What could anything?
What could anything that connects Obama to welfare have to do with race?
That's a real stretch.
Matthews, don't pull a hamstring.
Come on.
Let's remember that the joke is nobody would ever question me, a rich white guy, like they are doing to an unpedigreed black guy.
Even if he delivered it with Chris Rock level skill, it's still a horrible joke that only excites a scared bully.
That's not a real joke.
And the idea that it was off the cuff and that he just said it all, he's never said anything.
You know, when he says, may I have a cup of coffee, he plans it the night before.
So the idea that he didn't plan it already and then think about the implications of it and not know that by saying it, it would get a lot of attention.
But for him, it's the kind of attention that he wants, which is white voters.
Yes.
That's like his best bet is to appeal to them because it sounds like a joke, but he got 0% in a poll of black voters, and he's not going to get any Hispanics, and he's not going to get any women.
So he has to get a whole hell of a lot of racist, white guys, you know, or white people who are just afraid of black people.
So, do you think that Joe Scarborough well, we'll keep going and we'll come back to it and we'll talk about it.
But so, here's so here's Reince Priebus, and here's the usual party response when you're called on your birtherism and you're pandering to racists.
Here's the standard reply: Myself, starting in February of last year, as soon as I became chairman of the RNC, Mitt Romney continuously has said this president was born in this country.
It's a non-starter, it's a dumb issue, it's a distraction.
Forget about it.
It seems funny that the first joke he's ever told in his life is about Obama's Justice.
Chris Hardball coming out of nowhere.
Yeah, good joke.
Good line there.
Well, he had another great line to Joe Scarborough earlier that I just played when he goes, oh, really?
Then why did he make the joke?
Why did he say it?
And Joe Scarborough, he said it because it was a bad joke, really.
And also, you know, the things that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup just said in that clip you played is actually stuff that Mitt Romney never said.
Mitt Romney has never said that the birther thing is stupid.
No, he says that I accept the support from all different people.
Yeah, I take him at his word.
Yeah.
You know, that he's born.
He's lying.
I don't know about it.
But he's never said, you know, Donald Trump's birther thing is really dumb and stupid.
I mean, I still want his support, but geez, that's a really stupid job.
He said, I need the support.
I need the support of even, you know, 51%.
He has to get 51%.
Yeah.
So even that, even that example that Reese, that's not even true.
No, that's not even true.
No, that is not.
Even him saying that.
But it's as you, you know, it's like they try to play, they try to come out and go, oh, no, we take him at his word.
And then they, yeah, but he's really, you know, he's really black.
He's different.
He's a Muslim.
So guess what?
Tom Brokaw was sitting right next to Chris Hardball and Joe Scarborough and Reese's Pennsylvania.
He was a veteran reporter, so I'm sure he gave some good hard-hitting.
He comes from the Watergate area, so I'm assuming he had some hard-hitting things to say.
Okay, here we go.
Here's what he said.
But I do think.
Listen, I think I disagree with Chris on this.
I think it was a demonstration of his awkward sense of humor.
But I do think.
Oh, yeah, it's just a demonstration of his awkward sense of humor.
Romney was just making an innocent joke based on what millions of white bigots take deadly seriously.
That's all he was doing?
That's all it was.
Hey, look, it's the anti-Colombo.
It's Tom Brokall.
He reviews all the facts, but never draws a conclusion, especially one that states in plain English how horrible a powerful person is acting.
Right.
And as you just said, that even if it was Chris Rock delivering the line, it's still a hateful thing.
Yeah, the awkwardness of Mitt Romney is a moot point.
Yeah, the idea behind the joke is I'm white.
Yes.
That's gloating.
The whole idea.
He's really gloating that his birthplace is not under disposition.
And you know what?
Also, in the context of his campaign, in the context of the fact that Trump is a big supporter of him and that he's, if what Reese Priebus said was true, if Romney had been a very vocal opponent of people saying that Obama is a birther, if that had been a big thing where he had stood up for himself and said, nobody say this anymore, this is wrong, then it would have been more okay for him to make the joke.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, because I mean, it probably wouldn't have been okay for him to make that.
But I'm saying that if you take the context of his whole campaign.
That he was indifferent to the birth.
Yeah, you can't.
He was not supportive of Obama.
You can't dismiss it.
You can't just write it off.
And so now maybe we know why Chris Matthews doesn't do this kind of thing more often.
You know, that's why Chris Matthew doesn't state the obvious and uncontroversial truth in front of news people very often, because they're going to undercut him.
Right.
They're not going to back him up when he's stating something that is plain fact.
Right.
And it's obvious to everyone.
Right.
Except, get this, a room full of newsmen.
Right, exactly.
It's obvious to everyone except the newsroom full of news people.
Okay.
So here is Mr. Tits on a Bull.
He has more to say.
What would any cable show discussion about race baiting and political lying be without a huge false equivalency that everyone agrees with to wrap it up?
And who's going to give it to us?
Our good friend Tom Brokaw.
In fairness, that all I like how you start off a false equivalency with in fairness.
In fairness, that all during the Republican debates and the primaries, that there was a lot of stuff aimed at the president that was not refuted by leaders of the party.
He got refuted every single time.
I bet you 20 times on TV.
I'm not talking about the birthing thing.
As much as I am about he's a Muslim, he's a socialist, he's not American.
John Sununu had to apologize for saying he doesn't know what it's like to be an American.
That was a pretty tough attack.
Now, I think it comes the other way, by the way.
So there's Tom Brokaw going, that was a pretty tough attack.
That's not a tough attack.
That's a disgusting attack.
That's not pretty tough.
And by the way, when I made fun of John Sununu before, I wasn't trying to say that he was less of an American than anybody because he was born in Cuba to an Arab father and his mother was from, I think, Guatemala.
I'm not sure.
I just heard that an airport security detector just go off hearing you just saying that.
And he's a member of the Arab Americans League or whatever.
I think he might even be the president.
Of the American, Arab American Sea, he's the president of.
AAA.
Yes, exactly.
And so when I said that last time, I was saying that using his own standard, even his using his own standard, he's less of an American than Barack Obama.
That's what I was saying.
I'm not saying that he is.
I'm saying using John Sununu's stupid standard of an American, how gross it would be.
So again, he likes to throw in a nice little touch of hypocrisy, too.
But let's get back to this issue.
Let's hear Tom Brokaw one more time.
In fairness, that all during the Republican debates and the primaries, that there was a lot of stuff aimed at the president that was not refuted by leaders of the party.
Got refuted every single time.
I bet you 20 times on TV.
I'm not talking about the birthing thing.
As much as I am about he's a Muslim, he's a socialist, he's not American.
John Sununu had to apologize for saying he doesn't know what it's like to be an American.
So now here it comes.
That's the windup, and here comes your false equivalency.
That was a pretty tough attack.
Now, I think it comes the other way, by the way, from the Democrats toward the Republicans as well.
And I think that's what's made the country fed up with American politics, and it's a challenge for both parties.
And your examples of the Democrats doing it are?
I'm sure they've done it.
I just haven't seen it, and no one else is talking about it, but I'm sure they've done it.
Yeah, Tom Brokaw, that's right.
That's what makes voters cynical about politics.
That, and when somebody gets within 100 Yards of the truth on a news show, and everybody runs from it at full speed.
Yeah, maybe that's what does it, Tom Brokaw.
I guess the attacks really are equal.
The Republicans say Obama's a socialist who's not really an American, and the Democrats say Romney's a capitalist who hides his income and doesn't care about the poor.
Now, I didn't read any of Tom Broca's greatest generation books, but did he say, you know, the Allies were landing on Normandy.
But to be fair, on the other side, the Nazis had a point, too.
You know, they were defending their land, and, you know, they believed, you don't necessarily agree with them, but they believe that the world should be engulfed in fascism and that all Jews should be iterated.
France was really theirs at that point.
Yeah, so, you know, there's, you know, that was the Normandy landing.
That was kind of a tough attack.
Yeah, it was kind of a tough.
It was kind of a tough attack.
But, you know, soldiers on both sides are upset with their leaders.
Yeah, and that's why the fact that the Allies went to war with the Nazis is why you have this cynicism.
I mean, Frank, people will say that these kind of examples are over the top.
And they are not.
What is happening when you have blatant race baiting and you call it out on a news show, and then the rest of the journalists sit around you and tell you you're crazy.
You know, again, let's think back to 1933 Germany.
At some point, the news guy has to say, hey, these guys are bad.
They're not just another political party.
This isn't just another idea.
These guys are really trying to screw everybody over.
And, you know, and there wasn't a lot of that in the mainstream press in 1933.
Hitler was Time Magazine's man of the year.
Man of the year.
A lot of Henry Luce and a lot of people were saying, yeah, Lindbergh, but not just the anti-Semitism, which is Lindbergh was, but just the idea that, look, Hitler's done a great job in Germany.
He's really gotten the economy moving again.
And, you know, if he wants to take over a few countries.
Although the comedy scene in Germany is not what it was.
Yeah, the cabinet scene in the 20s was pretty great.
But so, yeah, that kind of thing has always gone on.
He was chosen man.
By the way, so it just shows you that the media, the mainstream media has always been the same.
In 1939, they chose him as the man of the year of 1938.
1939.
Wow.
So he was 1938's Times Man of the Year.
And then that and that cover.
For starting the best war?
Was that?
So in January 2nd of 1939 was when that cover came out.
That Time magazine, Hitler Man of the Year.
So that's kind of stunning, right?
So you see, so it's at what point did Time magazine stop doing that and start going, hey, he's evil.
By the way, that guy we said was man of the year two years ago turns out he's evil and we're going to try and kill him.
Yeah, it didn't happen then because they had like six years to figure that out too.
And there were a lot of businessmen in America too, like for instance, Prescott Bush, who were doing business with the Nazis and didn't want to.
And even the stuff that I know about the movie industry, a lot of them who were run by Jews, they didn't want to say anything because Germany was a big market for their movies.
So it wasn't until the war started that a lot of that.
Also, they wanted to make war movies.
Let's start off with a little Ann Romney.
Okay, so Ann Romney gave her spit.
So we'll go over a few of the speeches.
We're going to get to Chris Christie, Ann Romney, a little of Paul Ryan, and we're going to look at how some of the news media looked at that.
So right now, here's Ann Romney.
And, you know, Steve, you've made the point before.
They say that Ann Romney is going to come out and she's going to humanize.
She's going to make Mitt Romney look like less of a robot.
She's going to humanize him.
And Steve, you say the only thing, what do you say?
I say the only thing she's good for is to make Romney look like less of a and that's a pretty controversial joke around here at KPFK.
What is that?
The thieving APFK staff doesn't like stuff like that.
Apparently they can steal your stuff, but just don't use the B word.
So I'm just going to start playing some of Ann Romney's speech off the top.
We're not going to get through more than 25 seconds of it.
Okay, just let you know.
Here we go.
Just so you all know, the hurricane has hit landfall, and I think...
My first job.
The weather lady.
So here she is how she starts it off.
Here she goes.
She starts off her speech.
Just so you all know, the hurricane has hit landfall, and I think we should all take this moment to thank God that George Bush isn't running things anymore.
All right, there's more.
Here we go.
Just so you all know, the hurricane has hit landfall, and I think we should all take this moment and recognize that fellow Americans are in its path and just hope and pray.
That most of them are black people.
Just hope and pray because praying is going to come in real handy after Mitt Romney's administration defunds FEMA to pay for three more tax cuts.
Right, right.
Yeah, let's just hope and pray.
Just hope and pray that all remain safe and no life is lost and no property is lost.
Yes, especially property.
Let's all thank God.
It's much more than life.
Let's all thank God that none of Mitt and my seven homes is in the path of the hurricane.
And let's hope no property is lost.
Or if it is, let's at least hope that they had adequate insurance because without the right kind of insurance, folks, you're going to get screwed.
Okay, where was I, right?
Mitt's not a weasel.
Here we go.
Blah, blah, blah.
Here we go.
Okay.
Back to my horse.
And now here's the awkward moment where she has to acknowledge and salute the firemen, cops, and EMTs and the Coast Guard without actually saying something positive about government workers.
This is going to be tough.
I think she's going to try and pull it off.
Here we go.
Lost and no property is lost.
So we should all be thankful for this great country and grateful for our first responders and all that keep us safe in this wonderful country.
Yeah, let's pray for our first responders.
They risked their lives to save some extremely ordinary people.
Why?
Why do they do it?
And let's also pray for the first responders, but not for their unions.
No.
No, not their unions at all.
Yes, let's thank God for the people who risked their lives to save ours.
And with your help, and as a thank you for their service, Mitt Romney will cut their paid pensions and health benefits, bust their unions, and really screw them good.
We'll see to it that they don't have property to be destroyed by a hurricane.
Yes, yes.
Here's she got one last thing to say.
As his partner on this amazing journey, I can tell you Mitt Romney was not handed success.
No, he was just given a bunch of money.
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Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio by former writer for the daily show, Steve Rosenfield, and from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff.
And we're talking about the RNC today.
We got a lot of stuff lined up to talk about.
But first, it was Ron Paul.
Ron Paul, he made news because he said he wasn't going to fully endorse Mitt Romney.
So that was news he made on Monday.
So we actually gave him a phone call from the Young Turks studio, Frank and I, and here it is.
Music Okay, joining me is former presidential candidate Ron Paul.
Congressman, I understand that your supporters are planning on causing a bit of a ruckus down in Tampa this week.
Is Tropical Storm Isaac going to affect this stuff at all?
Well, I don't know.
I just hope that the police and the fire department and the National Guard and FEBA are all down there to protect the safety of my supporters so they can spread our anti-government message.
Doesn't that seem like kind of a contradiction, Congressman?
I don't know what you're talking about.
All right, now, Congressman, you said you don't fully support Mitt Romney.
What did you mean by that?
Well, I mean, so far as I only support Governor Romney partially.
This is his torso, his ankles, and his left button.
Now, you seem to have some firm beliefs about his body parts.
As a doctor, have you ever examined him?
Well, those buttocks are firm, too.
That's a firm belief.
No, I've never examined them.
I haven't.
It's just, it's just as well.
Because if I told him to turn his head and cough, there'd be nothing for me to cup in my hand.
But, Congressman, he's the new GOP standard bearer.
He's the guy at the head of your party.
Shouldn't you be supporting him?
Well, yeah, I mean, that is a good point.
And he'd certainly be a better president than the colored fella.
He was an awful man.
You know, Congressman Paul, that kind of talk is offensive.
You shouldn't say such racism.
Well, you laughed at first.
Yeah, I'm laughing at you.
But, you know, you shouldn't be saying, you should watch your language, especially after all the controversy that you caused with your Ron Paul newsletters.
Oh, you mean, you don't understand.
I'd have to implied nothing to do with the Ron Paul newsletters.
It was all a misunderstanding.
At the time, RuPaul was editing them because she just took them for her own newsletters.
So that's where all those hateful screens came from.
No, it was RuPaul.
They came from not Ron Paul, but RuPaul.
Is that what you're saying?
Yes, yeah.
Yeah.
But why would RuPaul publish such hateful things like that?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I guess he's just a racist bitch.
What you're saying is, okay, what's the word I'm looking for?
What you're saying here is bullshit, I think.
Well, look, can we just stop talking about RuPaul, please?
If we're going to talk about a freaking nature, I'd rather be Mitt Romney.
I mean, I really want him to wing.
Honestly, I do.
And I'm hoping that my half-assed endorsement, well, you know, you know, put him over the top.
What about your son, Rand Paul?
You know, he's in full support of Mitt Romney.
Whoa, whoa.
He did.
Yeah, he's in full support of Mitt Romney, your son, Rand Paul.
I have no son.
What are you talking about?
He's dead to me.
Congressman, he's your flesh.
I should have named him Alinsky Paul.
He's your flesh and blood, Congressman.
I know.
I'm just kidding.
One day after the government has been completely torn down and America becomes a dystopian wasteland of warring motorcycle drives, he'll make someone a fine wife.
Congressman, you're a doctor and you're making no sense whatsoever.
Well, I guess that means I've still got it.
Okay, Congressman Paul, I thank you very much for taking time out.
And I hope to see you on TV this week.
I like pudding.
I like pudding.
Okay, that was Ron Paul.
Our thanks to the Congressman for taking time out to make us laugh with his ridiculousness.
What's coming up right now?
We were talking about Ann Romney before we left for the break.
And Ann Romney, let's finish up with her speech at the Republican Convention.
This is the part where she pretends to give two craps about regular people.
I love it.
Here it is.
The parents who lie awake at night side by side wondering how they'll be able to pay the mortgage or make the rent.
The single dad who's working extra hours tonight so that his kids can buy some new clothes to go back to school.
Can take a school trip or play a sport so his kids can feel, you know, just like other kids.
And the working moms who love their jobs but would like to work just a little less to spend more time with the kids.
But that's just out of the question with this economy.
Wow, she really can connect with regular people's problems.
Like, it's like, yeah, I know what it's like to face disaster.
Like that time Mitt and I came back from our July house and our August home wasn't ready yet.
Remember, that's horrible.
So I know exactly what people are going through.
And she's saying she wants to make it easier for working mothers to take time off.
It's a lot harder to do stuff like that when you don't have a union.
Yes, exactly.
And when you're against the Lily Ledbetter Act, and you're against child care, and you're against the maternity leave.
Yeah.
These are all things that you and your party and your husband are against.
And also notice how she talks about single dads, but doesn't mention single, those words, the single moms.
No, she did.
She mentioned single moms, but not single dads.
She did it the other way.
Oh, no.
I thought I heard him say single dads.
Who love their jobs.
So his kids can feel, you know, just like other kids.
And the working moms.
The working moms.
I work said singles before that, single dads.
Single dads and working moms.
Sure, she's going to spread it around.
Let's get right into Paul Ryan's speech.
And well, this is what I saw.
Andrea Mitchell summed it up this morning.
The Obama campaign took some major blows last night.
Some true, others not so true.
Not so true.
That's what she said.
Not so true is not that bad.
You know, frigging lies might be one way to put it.
Okay, before we go into Paul Ryan gave a speech last night that was so over the top, so out of bounds with falsehoods, outright lies, blatant lies, bold lies, bald face lies, lies in which he was part of them, lies about his, it was so unbelievable that I don't know if you guys heard about this, but it got debunked by Fox News.
Oh, I did not hear about that, yes.
Okay, so I'm over at foxnews.com and the top and the title of the headline of this article is called Paul Ryan's speech in three words.
And the three words they used was dazzling, deceiving, and distracting.
And let's go right to the deceiving part.
This is straight from FoxNews.com.
To anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to facts, Ryan's speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech.
On this measure, while it was Romney who ran the Olympics, Ryan earned the gold.
Wow.
The good news is that Romney-Ryan campaign has likely created dozens of new jobs among the legions of additional fact checkers that media outlets are rushing to hire to sift through the mountain of cow dung that flowed from Ryan's mouth.
Said fact checkers have already condemned certain arguments that Ryan still irresponsibly repeated.
Fact.
While Ryan tried to pin the downgrade of the United States credit rating on spending under President Obama, the credit rating was actually downgraded because the Republicans threatened not to raise the debt ceiling.
Fact.
While Ryan blamed President Obama for the shutdown of the GM plant in Janesville, Wisconsin, the plant was actually closed under President George W. Bush.
Ryan actually asked for federal spending to save the plant.
While Romney has criticized the auto industry bailout that President Obama ultimately enacted to prevent other plants from closing.
Fact.
Though Ryan insisted that President Obama wants to give all the credit for private sector success to government, that isn't what the president said, period.
This is from FoxNews.com.
Wow.
Their whole convention, it says we built that.
That's the theme of their convention.
It's based on misquoting and taking out of context what the president said.
Their whole ideology is based on a lie.
Like that from start to finish.
Well, what Paul Ryan was saying was so fantastical that he claimed that the factory that Obama closed was run by Willie Wonka.
That's a fantasy.
Let me just, here's the final fact check from FoxNews.com.
Though Paul Ryan accused President Obama of taking $716 billion out of Medicare, the fact is that the amount was savings in Medicare reimbursement rates, which incidentally saves Medicare recipients out-of-pocket costs.
Fox said that?
Fox.com says that.
Wow.
And Ryan himself embraced these savings in his own budget plan.
Here's how they sum up at FoxNews.com.
Elections should be about competing based on your record in the past and your vision for the future, not competing to see who can get away with the most lies and distortions without voters noticing or bothering to care.
Both parties should hold themselves to that standard.
Republicans should be ashamed that there was even one misrepresentation in Ryan's speech.
But sadly, there were many.
Wow.
And you know the guy who wrote that on the Fox News website?
I'm really going to enjoy his podcast.
That's right.
His name is Fired.
That's fine.
But I think I heard Chris Wallace said similar things.
Chris Wallace said similar things.
I heard that also.
The writer is Sally Cohn, K-O-H-N.
So it's, yeah, it's a dirty Jew over at FoxNews.com.
Right?
Isn't that what's happening there, Steve?
You got to poke me about that?
Well, you're the Jewish lady.
The two Irish guys sitting, I got to go to the Jew.
You're the Jew.
So let's play a little bit of Ryan's speech.
Would you like to hear a little bit of it?
Here he is.
No, no, but play it anyway.
Eric is talking about the GM plant.
Right there at that plant, candidate Obama said, I believe that if our government is there to support you, this plan will be here for another 100 years.
That's what he said in 2008.
Well, as it turned out, that plant didn't last another year.
Okay.
Because Obama didn't take into account in that speech that Bush was president.
The plant closed in Paul Ryan's own district a month before Obama took office, and he asked the president for federal money to say.
So he knows what he's saying is a lie.
He knows that.
Okay, so here's what he says about the debt commission.
Here's what Paul Ryan says about the debt commission.
He created a new bipartisan debt commission.
They came back with an urgent report.
He thanked them, sent them on their way, and then did exactly nothing.
Okay, now what makes that so horribly false, lieful, is that a word?
It is now.
It is now.
So what makes that is because he was actually on that debt commission.
Paul Ryan was.
And he was actually considered the swing vote who killed that in committee.
So it never even went to President Barack Obama's desk because Paul Ryan voted against it.
And then here he is.
So it's just like You know, this isn't like regular politicking.
This isn't regular, like, we're going to be better at this than they are.
Well, they're better at lying.
Well, they're not better at it, but they're more ambitious when it comes to their lies.
They just say the opposite of what they're doing.
It's like if you, it's obvious that you guys don't believe in your programs and your policies because you present yourself to be the opposite.
Right.
Right?
Okay, so here's what he has to say about Medicare.
The hidden taxes to pay for the health care takeover.
Even with the new law and new taxes on nearly a million small businesses, the planners in Washington still didn't have enough money.
They needed more.
They needed hundreds of billions more.
So they just took it all away from Medicare.
$716 billion funneled out of Medicare by President Obama.
Okay, now that's been debunked for several weeks now.
And we just did a whole thing on it last week about how Soledad O'Brien confronted all the Republicans coming on CNN on her show and correcting them, reading directly from the Congressional Budget Office's report to directly stating the opposite of what they're saying.
Right.
So here is Andrea Mitchell.
This is this morning talking to Chris Saliza from the Washington Post, right?
Chris Saliza, big shot, big talking head in Washington.
And he is in the middle.
Listen to him.
He's going to be in the middle of describing one of Paul Ryan's lies, and then he pivots and makes an excuse for him.
So, no, here's Andrea.
Here's Andrea.
I'm sorry.
Here's Andrea Mitchell describing what the Paul Ryan defense of his bogus GM plant closing lie was.
And listen to Chris Alizza kind of grunt.
Listen.
Ryan, people are pointing out he didn't say shut down.
Right.
He said locked up, which means it has not been fully relevant.
So did you hear him go, oh, yeah, what a lie.
He's like, oh, can you believe it?
And so here he is a second later describing another lie and then watch him pivot.
The Simpson Bowles that President Obama should have supported the debt commission when Paul Ryan voted, was on the debt commission, voted against the team vote to sabotage it, according to critics.
What's hard, Andrea, is that.
Here comes what's hard.
Here comes what's hard for Mr. Washington.
In fairness, in fairness.
I feel like we're now at this point where we're slicing the onion so thinly.
Well, it's not false, but it's not true either.
I don't think Paul Ryan lied last night, though.
Wow.
Wow.
Holy.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That was today's Oh, my God segment.
Yeah, we can put that in there.
That's Chris Saliza.
This is the guy you turned to to decipher the news for you.
I almost want to encourage him to go back to doing that comedy show he did with Dana Mildeck.
That was much better than it's just like, how can you look yourself?
He's to the right of Fox News with that because Fox News said.
Fox News just called him out.
Chris Wallace called him out.
And here's Chris Saliza.
He did it.
I don't think he lied last night.
Here's what he said he did.
Ready?
Plenty of people on my Twitter kind of told me that I'm not addressing the reality.
I think he didn't provide context.
He didn't use words that were lies.
That's the context.
He didn't provide context.
Like when he said that President Obama didn't respect the Simpson Bowles Commission and he wasn't serious about deficit reduction, the context he needed to put that in was that he was lying about it.
That was the context.
That was the proper context.
Like the context when he said that Barack Obama is gutting Medicare and taking money away from seniors in the future.
The context he forgot to put that in was that he was lying, that he told, that was totally false.
I think the context is that Chris Salizza runs into Paul Ryan at cocktail parties and doesn't want it to be awkward.
Yes, that's exactly what it is.
He knows he's going to see Paul Ryan for the rest of his life, and he wants to get a scoop.
He wants to get a story from him.
He wants him to talk to him at parties.
It's a convention bill.
And here's what Chris, you think that it's bad what we just did?
We just went over all the lies and the lies that Fox News found.
So here's what Chris Matthews says.
Well, believe it or not, we've only scratched the surface right now of the distortion, dishonesty, and pure fiction Ryan's speech.
People are going to be digging into this speech for a while now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's.
That's good.
Look at Chris Matthews has no problem calling us from.
Yeah, and even, you know, last night I was surprised because we just showed, you just played Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw, when they interviewed him on MSNBC, he talked about how it was all lies.
You know, when Tom Brokaw is on board, yeah, that it was all distorted.
And then David Gregory, who was hanging out with him, he even, you know, because he saw which way the wind was blowing, so he even said it was creative amnesia or use some phrase like that.
I did see David Gregory speaking of David Gregory.
I did see him.
So because I'm watching a lot of news that are all on it right now.
And I did see him sitting next to Tom Brokaw.
And I remember thinking, wow, he's really not as dumb as I thought he was.
And he's saying something smart and honest and kind of insightful and going against the corporate line.
And then I realized, oh, he is actually smart.
He is actually just doing this on purpose.
He has the ability to be good at his job.
But he doesn't want to lose his job, so he's not being good at it.
Yeah, so he's good at it in a superficial way.
He's good at it.
He's good at it in a way that makes his bosses happy.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
He's not good at it in a way that's going to really win him a journalism award.
No, he'll win a journalist.
Well, from the military, the war college, like Tom Brokaw did.
Everyone plays dumb.
It's really amazing that nobody works up to their top of their capacity.
And when Wolf Blitzer and Aaron Burnett last night refused to say that he was, they said everything but that he was lying.
Oh, the fact-checkers are going to have a field day with that.
You know, they just danced around saying outright that it was all falsehood.
It's the emperor's clothes kind of a thing.
I think that it's so bad.
I think it's scandalous.
I mean, you know, I think it is practically.
Well, I think it's understandable that Paul Ryan would think I can just come out and lie and the media isn't going to hold me accountable.
But that's the truth most of the time.
That's the case most of the time.
I think it's happening.
And this time, it just seems like it was so blazing.
I think, you know, mentioning that plant and blaming Obama for it was just so over the top.
Because it's a specific point in time.
It's not like an opinion.
Yeah, it's easily provable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a day on the calendar.
We can't do our Republican National Convention roundup without talking about a little Chris Christie, huh?
So let's go on.
A little of him goes a long way.
There is no such thing as a little of him.
So here he is talking about, again, here is the nice, I'm going to make a Republican point, and in the middle, I'm going to reveal that I actually support some liberalism.
Here we go.
Here he is talking about his father, how tough his father had him.
Dad grew up in poverty.
And after returning from Army service, he worked at the Breyers ice cream plant in the 1950s.
Ice cream.
Now, with that job and the GI bill, he put himself through Rutgers University at night to become the first in his family to earn a college degree.
Yeah, he went.
His Chris Christie's father got to go to college on the GI bill.
Which was called socialism.
Which is called socialism.
Unfortunately, there's no more tax money to waste on college tuition anymore.
I'm just trying to say dad was special.
Slam the door shut on that opportunity.
My dad worked at an ice cream factory and it never got that good again.
My dad was the first member of his family to go to college and I'm doing my part by firing teachers.
Yes.
Paying it forward.
It's a great sense.
There was a lot of teachers' union bashing in that speaker.
Oh, my God.
It was.
Yes, yes.
We need people who aren't afraid of being considered douchebags.
The kind of people who are, you know, total douchebags.
They just don't care.
And he said something like, we need to support teachers, but not teachers.
Not teachers' unions.
And so is it just being supportive to not give people benefits and to not give them checks?
Give them a job.
That's being supportive of them.
Well, what they would say, we don't fire them.
What they would say is that teachers' unions protect bad teachers, and good teachers don't need protections of unions.
That's what they would.
I'm growing up in the wrong era because when I was a teenager, I was a horrible student, and I was a douchebag and I hated teachers, and I would tell anyone that I hated teachers.
And the establishment back then, a Republican, would have told me, Frank, you're wrong.
Teachers are awesome.
And now it's the establishment Republicans who are saying the teachers are awful.
They're just weird stoners like I was.
You know, a lot of people say that that was Chris Christie because he didn't mention Mitt Romney except maybe twice in the whole speech.
And he was talking about himself a lot.
That was like his acceptance speech for 2016.
And, you know, I can see Chris Christie walking into the Oval Office someday, but only if they widen the door.
Well, you know, you can't just say he's going to run for president in 2016.
There's a lot of hurdles he has to overcome.
Like, for instance, bypass surgery.
Climbing up a flight of stairs.
It's not going to be easy.
I mean, being a big guy has its advantages, but not going to the bathrooms.
He's, you know, I mean, God bless him, and I hope he gets healthier.
But you look at him, you don't predict a big future for him.
Okay, joining us today is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who made a big splash at the GOP convention the other night.
Hi, Governor.
Hey, enough with the fat chokes already.
But I wasn't.
I wasn't even doing anything.
I know what you're saying.
You're saying I did a cannonball up at the Atlantic Ocean that the splash is what caused Hurricane Hey.
No, I wasn't saying that at all, Governor.
I meant that your keynote speech had a huge impact.
There you go with the fat chunks.
You're saying that my waiting back in the stage had almost caused the biggest cave-in since the Mononga, West Virginia coal mining disaster of 1907.
Governor, you're putting words in my mouth.
And I could never put words in my mouth because I'm always talking about a request and rolls, right?
When you're saying, why must you be so hurtful?
I was trying to praise your speech.
You were on fire.
Oh, let me guess.
It was like watching the Hindenburg blow up on me.
Tragedy.
Governor Christie, you're being very defensive.
I want to have a serious discussion with you about your speech.
Well, okay.
All right.
We can do that.
But first, you got to take your mean-spirited fat jokes off the table.
So you can cover the table with a deep just pizza?
That's exactly what I thought.
I say.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, you're sorry.
You're sorry.
Never mind.
Just ask me a question and shit.
Okay, I wanted to ask you how you and other Republicans can criticize Obama for his fiscal policies when it was the Republicans who blew up the debt during the Bush administration.
What a load of baloney.
Don't say it.
You want to do a joke about me eating up an old bologna sandwich, but don't even go there.
You probably want to point out to everyone that my wife played hide the salami with me, and I sued her for metro cruelty.
I want to discuss the issues.
Well, me too.
So please answer me.
Why do Republicans hold Obama accountable for budget deficits that they voted for when Bush was president?
Well, that's simple.
The Obama deficit of socialism.
The Bush deficit, on the other hand, was a glandular condition.
Okay.
Well, okay, Governor.
Okay.
Well, thanks for joining us.
I know you got to go.
You're very busy.
Well, yeah, I got to go.
Yeah, that's for sure.
To the hometown buffet to vacuum their entire inventory into my gullet and then shit out into the New Jersey Meadowlands.
Is that what you're trying to imply?
No, not at all, Governor.
Well, you should be because that's exactly what I'm about to do.
I'm starving.
Riva danci.
Riva danci.
Okay, the voice, the voice of Ron Paul and Chris Christie done by the Inimitable.
Mike McRae and Mike McRae can be found at mikemcrae.com.
Don't forget, September 29th is our next left, right, and ridiculous.
That's a Saturday night at the Improv Lab in Hollywood on Melrose and Crescent Heights.
It's left, right, and ridiculous, the funniest show ever.
We'll see you.
That's Saturday, September 29th, 8 p.m.
Okay, and this today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Steph Samorano, Mike McRae, Steve Rosenfields, and Frank Connett.
And Mark Vandalund.
Oh, that guy's helping out quite a bit.
Okay, that's it for this week.
And until next week, you beat the best.
Oh, by the way, hey, thanks for the Amazon.com box.
We appreciate it.
Makes a big difference.
Thanks for using it.
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