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May 5, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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How to talk recently about gay bullying and straight bullying and the movie Bully.
Most people claim to be against it.
Everybody also thinks they're not racist and they're a good driver.
People need to be more realistic about bullying.
I don't want to be a buzzkill and just saying it doesn't get that much better.
Bullying starts much earlier than the first day of school and it ends much later.
I'd say within moments of death.
My father's a great guy, but when I was growing up, he was the family bully.
He was bigger, older, and the only one who had any money, so he controlled the psychological agenda.
If dad was upset about something, none of us could be happy either.
What we didn't realize was dad was out every day getting bullied in the marketplace, and though he wasn't always rational, you couldn't argue with him.
He was like the Supreme Court, who, if they overturn Obamacare, will be the equivalent of a spoiled rich kid stealing an entire country's lunch money and laughing about it with their friends.
Of course, there are bullies at school, but they aren't just the other kids.
Teachers are bullies, too.
Then comes college, where the bullies are highly organized into an elaborate network of frat houses.
Then you get a job, and your colleagues bully you, and you can't complain to the boss because it was his idea.
But you can't have bullying without the indifferent crowd standing around refusing to get involved.
If bullies weren't so entertaining to watch, they wouldn't be the subtext for every show on television for eight years.
Charlie Sheen played a vicious bully on two and a half men.
Every week, Charlie's character bullied his brother Alan, and every week Charlie came out on top because Alan was a nice guy and thus worthy of contempt.
In real life, Charlie Sheen acted like such a jerk that he was fired from that show and people thought his career was over.
Then several minutes later, he got another show.
And now he's going to play a different jerk.
I just hope he doesn't get typecast.
Turns out we need bullying because it's the only way we can be sure who won.
That's the basic issue now between Obama and Romney.
Obama says wealthy people shouldn't bully everybody else.
And Romney replies, hey, who wants to help me stick this whim's head in the toilet and flush?
Awesome.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, Keith.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined in studio to my right, former writer for The Daily Show, hilarious comedian.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you today?
I'm doing great.
I like you in the blue.
You got a smile.
Your battery is connected with your cable.
Your cars were everything's good today.
I flossed.
You flossed.
I'm flossing more also.
Very important.
Personal notes.
It's fucking work.
His method and that were very simpatico.
My dinner told me to floss more, and I am Frank.
Next to him, it's from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the CinematicTitanic.com coming to a city near you.
It's Frank Coniff, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, Frank.
Hello there.
I don't know.
Folks, it makes us.
It gets us every time.
Gets us every time.
Don't know why.
Okay, next to him, the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, chosen one of the top 10 podcasts of 2011 by The Onion.
It's Paul Gilmartin, ladies and gentlemen.
Jimmy.
How are you doing, Paul?
I'm good.
I'm good.
He smelled like pine saw.
Okay.
That's a whole story there.
Okay, so what's happening?
Hey, you know, Newt Gingrich today, today, the day we're recording this, we record this on Wednesdays, is dropping out of the race.
And he's exiting the primary race, but at least he can take pride in knowing that he ran a sleazy, racist, bullshit campaign.
Yeah.
And Romney has made news when he hired an openly gay foreign policy advisor.
Did you know that?
Yes, he had hired.
Romney made news when he opened, hired an openly gay foreign policy advisor who believed the security of America needed much, a much stronger fashion police.
And his aide resigned, said Aiden.
After two weeks of being on the Romney campaign, the openly gay aide resigned, but will continue to work against the interests of openly gay people in the private sector.
A little too open, apparently.
A little too open.
And, hey, let's call the anniversary of Bush's mission accomplished event national strut around in a flight suit like a dip.
Should we call that?
Can we call it that?
And Sean Hannity makes it into the Oh My God segment very easily.
Mitch McConnell's out of touch with reality.
He doesn't say there's a war on women.
We look back at what was being talked about a year ago when Osama bin Laden was actually killed.
We look back at the news coverage and how we covered it.
Plus some more blatant denying of reality by the Romney campaign and the controversy surrounding Barack Obama celebrating too much about killing Osama bin Laden.
Plus, we got phone calls from Bill O'Reilly and Mitch McConnell today.
That's all on today's Jimmy Dore Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
And before we get to today's Oh my God, I want to take this time moment out and say thanks to everybody who made it out to Left, Right, and Ridiculous in Austin last weekend, last Friday and Saturday at the Moontower Comedy Festival at the 29th Street Ballroom.
God darn it, that was a fun time.
And people came out on purpose, which is the way I like them to come out.
It's always so nice.
On purpose, and they laughy, laughied.
And a couple people even mentioned David Feldman, which made me uncomfortable.
So today's end, and today's, oh my God, you know, it's tough on the poor, right?
Whenever there's an economic downturn, although Lou Dobbs will tell you that the poor have it really well because they have TVs and microwaves and washers and dryers.
But food also is a big thing, right?
food insecurity in America that they say?
That's nearly 50 million people in America who don't have enough food to eat.
So that's obviously a big problem in America.
I mean, people don't.
I'm guessing none of them are ever at casinos.
Because food's so cheap there.
Is that what you mean?
No, because a lot of overweight people at casinos.
Oh, did you just come back from a casino?
Is that why it's not?
No, but every time I'm there, I'm struck by the number of stretch pants.
Well, you know, they're just comfortable gambling clothes, Paul.
It's all that is, really.
So, yes, so one in six people are insecure.
That's almost 50 million Americans, insecure.
And we are, you know, we are being hurled towards a two-tiered society very quickly.
The middle class, which is what made America unique in the world and what made people want to come here, been being squashed in the last 30, 40 years, right?
Ever since the initial Milton Friedman and his trickle-down economics and then implemented by Ronald Reagan and the Democrats' inability to stand up to it and offer a counter-narrative.
By the way, I love that trickle-down Economics was invented by a person who works at a university with a 10-year job.
And you know, yesterday I saw Paul Krugman say that Milton Freeman would seem like a left-wing socialist compared to the mainstream conservative ideology today.
Okay, all right.
Well, here's what Paul here's.
So, one in 50 million Americans, I'm sure a big percentage of those are children, probably more than half are children.
And so, here's what Sean Hannity is.
Here's his advice for those people.
I have friends of mine that eat rice and beans all the time.
Beans, protein, rice, inexpensive.
And you can make a big pot of this for a week for relatively negligible amounts of money for your whole family and feed your family.
Not the look, you should have vegetables and fruit in there as well.
But, you know, if you need to survive, you can survive off it.
It's not ideal.
You know, you can get some cheap meat too and throw in there as well for protein.
There are ways to live really, really cheaply.
And who better to know how easy it is to live cheaply than a guy who's been a millionaire for over a year?
He makes about $8 million a year at least, I think.
He'll tell you how to live cheaply.
But it's funny that he talks about eating beans.
I think he does, but he ends up farting out of his mouth.
Sure, he has.
That's all.
That comes right out of Sean Hannity's book, How to Live Cheaply.
He has other tips in there like, hey, you can sleep in your car and wash up at the Arco.
Those are some good tips, too, right?
I'm sure for poverty-stricken people, that once they get that week's worth of rice and beans cooked up, they can sigh a breath of relief and think, oh, everything's okay now.
We're not going to go home.
What are we worried about?
Plus, now I can go heat these up in my microwave, right?
Sell my hot pocket out of there and put in my rice and beans.
And who are his friends who eat nothing but rice and beans?
That's an outright lie right there.
That would be in what they call an outright lie.
That's a fabrication of that.
I don't think they're close friends.
That would be a fact.
Roger Ailes, you know, eats more than rice and beans, I'll tell you that.
While he's sleeping.
First of all, it's very easy to eat when you're poor, as Sean Hannity just pointed out.
You know, when it's tough, it's tough when you're wealthy and there's not enough time to eat everything.
That's when it's really getting crunch when you get the rich.
Coincidentally, that's the very, you know, the rice and beans.
That's the very same diet that provides our Mexican neighbors with the nutrition they need to steal jobs from real Americans.
That's a coincidence.
Isn't that coincidence?
That was Sean Hannity in the Oh My God segment today, ladies and gentlemen.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay, now we all heard a lot about the war on women, right?
The war on women.
When people say the war on women, what they're referring to is all the state legislatures across the country that have been passing these regressive laws that deal with women's sexuality.
For instance, in Virginia, they tried to make women have a transvaginal ultrasound, an unnecessary medical procedure and mandated by the state to humiliate women and degrade them, the women who wanted to get an abortion, right?
And so then there were other laws like in Wisconsin, they repealed the Fair Pay Act for women.
Nationally, you saw what happened when they tried to get rid of making institutions cover women's, with Sandra Fluke, cover women's reproductive rights.
So we've seen that's happening.
So when Republicans took over legislatures, they immediately started to implement these regressive legislative tactics dealing with, because they're afraid of sex, and women's sex is the worst of all.
I guess.
I thought it was, you know, can't have one without the other, but apparently you can.
And so here's Mitch McConnell was asked about the war on women and sounds like he's got his, here he's he has his thumb on the pulse.
Talking about a manufactured issue.
There is no issue.
Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and Kelly Yacht from New Hampshire and Susan Collins and Olympia Snow from Maine, I think would be the first to say Lisa Murkowski from Alaska.
We don't see any evidence of this.
Yes, so that was Mitch McConnell telling us to ask all those people and apparently they did ask those people.
Here's what Lisa Murkowski said that he said we should ask her.
It makes no sense to attack women.
And if you don't view this as an attack on women, then you need to go home and you need to talk to your wives.
You need to go talk to your daughters.
Yeah, so there you go.
So that was Lisa Murkowski, who he told us that all the other women, by the way, are against the war.
They're recognizing that there is a war on women being waged by Republican legislatures, and they're against it.
That's the Republican from Alaska, Lisa Murkowski.
Well, first of all, it's too late.
They've already got loafers on the ground.
You're going to lose that one.
But to be fair to Mitch McConnell, yes, he is in denial, but he doesn't know it because the denial is in that little pouch under his chin.
It's not so little.
I think there's a family.
There's a lot of denial.
Yeah, there's a family of squirrels in there right now.
So I actually called Mitch McConnell to hear what the hell he was talking about when he said that stuff.
I wanted to find out if Mitch McConnell is out of touch with reality.
And he was nice enough to come on the show and talk about it.
And here he is.
Hey, thanks for joining us today, Senator.
How are you doing?
This is Jimmy Dore.
I'm the host of the Jimmy Dore show.
He agreed to be interviewed by me.
I didn't know such thing.
He just called me at the appointed time we agreed on, and now we're talking on the phone.
I don't have a phone.
I never owned them.
I never owned one.
And I'm not sure that they even exist.
Okay, look, I don't want to argue about that.
I want to ask you about the war on women.
There is no more war on women, as you put it.
Just ask Senator Kelly Ayoti.
We did, and she says there is a war on women.
Well, who told you to ask her in the first place?
You did.
I disagree, and I disagree.
There's a war on women.
Just ask Senator Olympia Stowe of Maine.
We did.
Good.
And she also says there's a war on women.
Who said there's a war on women?
Who said so?
Who is she?
What?
I don't believe I've ever heard of her.
She's the senator from Maine.
You just said so yourself.
That is simply not possible.
As is the idea that there's a war on women.
Just ask Senator Murkowski.
We did ask her.
She said that if you don't think there's a war on women, go ask your daughters.
And did you ask your daughters?
I don't have any daughters.
See?
An old war on women.
It's all made up.
That doesn't prove anything.
Senator, I have to say, you are coming off as very disrespectful towards women.
Oh, really?
Can you name me one woman who thinks I disrespect their gender?
Yes.
Yes.
As a matter of fact, my wife thinks you don't treat women with proper respect.
Well, what the hell would she know?
she's a woman after all.
Come on, Jimmy.
If you're going to try and find out if women are not treated with respect, the last thing you want to do is ask some female floozy.
Am I right?
Okay, this is kind of pointless.
Mitch McConnell, thank you for coming on the Jimmy Door show.
I have never been on the Jimmy Door show.
Yes, you have.
You're on it right now.
Why don't you ask Jimmy Dore about that?
Goodbye, Senator.
Are you accusing me of saying goodbye?
That's trying to paint me as some kind of barbarous trision.
Goodbye, girl.
I'm just not that kind of a person.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm hanging up.
Bye.
Okay, that was Senator Mitch McConnell stopping by.
We appreciate it.
And he seems to be not in touch with reality.
He seems like he just denies everything.
That's his knee-jerk thing, is just to deny something.
I thought he made a lot of sense.
Well, we're going to talk about that in the after show.
Okay.
Well, let's move on.
Let's talk about what was happening.
So last year at this time, of course, there was the White House correspondence dinner just this week, by the way, I forgot.
And then the White House correspondence dinner.
It was really nice to see the media get a chance to suck up to power and formal wear.
It really is nice.
It really is.
It was really nice.
This time last year, Barack Obama successfully put out a hit on Osama bin Laden.
And he, I got to tell you, Barack Obama, he's got to be the nicest Nobel Prize winner to ever preside over three wars simultaneously.
I got to tell you.
And he got his first contract killing done this time last year.
And that might hurt his peace prize credentials.
Who knows?
Who knows?
Nobody ever tries to win a second one of those.
Well, they gave Henry Kissinger a Nobel Peace Prize, so all bets are off when it comes to that.
So are you opposed to him having killed bin Laden?
You know, Paul, that's a real tricky question.
I'm opposed to the way they did it.
How are they supposed to do it?
They should have captured him.
And I know that would have caused a lot of problems.
They should have captured him.
You know, you can't kill someone who's unarmed and not fighting.
They should have captured him, though, only if they went by the standards of our country that we built our nation upon.
Yeah, so only if you— Right.
You can't really use democratic principles to enforce law.
Right.
So what do you think?
I don't have a problem with what they did because what he did was already an assault.
So I don't have a problem with that.
I think he forfeited his Geneva Convention rights with what he's been doing over the last 20 years.
I think his was an exceptional case.
And it's certainly a slippery slope when you start to say, yeah, you can do it for that person.
Where does that line end?
Right.
I have no idea.
So maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my opinion.
Because now we see, that's my whole thing.
Like, either you have the value of someone who gets to, you know, the trial by jury and due process.
Either you live that value or you don't live that value.
And then, as Jon Stewart said, that if you don't live your values, they're just hobbies.
You know, either you believe in that, and I kind of do, and I think they could have taken him into, you know, because.
I think I would have preferred that if they had taken him in, and then we'd have a trial.
That's the last thing they wanted, Paul, was a trial.
Why?
Because why do you think it took him a year to appoint a 9-11 commission?
And also, there's also a possibility that Osama could have gotten off with the Stan Your Ground law.
I think politically it's almost impossible for any American president to have prosecuted him, you know, Bin Laden, just because it'd be like capturing Hitler.
You know what I mean?
He's too hated.
It's too difficult.
Everybody wants to kill him.
Where do you keep him?
Who represents him?
It's just this country is not.
Do you think our military can't accomplish that?
They could accomplish that.
They tried the Nazis after World War II.
Absolutely.
So I guess they didn't try to.
I'm just using it as an example of extremes of emotion that, you know, I'm just saying politically, I'm not saying, although I personally don't have a problem with him getting shot.
I kind of personally, you know, like, obviously, but the thing is, I think it would have been great to have a trial and to get out what really happened on 9-11 and to hear how he was probably being paid by the Americans a couple of years previous.
All that stuff.
Yeah, that's probably another reason why they shot him.
Yeah, I think that has a lot to do.
I just wanted to see an artist rendering of him in court.
Me too.
And I love, too, how the Republicans are saying that Obama is grandstanding about it.
If the Republicans had been the one that killed him on their watch, you would have seen his severed head being kicked through the uprights at halftime of a cowboys game by an American idol finalist.
Karl Rove would have been treated for exhaustion for excessive celebrating.
Well, the Republicans, though, don't approve of saying mission accomplished when a mission is actually accomplished.
Well, let's remember how it's important how the news media frames things.
So let's remember how this is from Nightline from last year.
Right now, somewhere on planet Earth, a U.S. Navy SEAL is walking around thinking, I just shot Osama bin Laden in the face.
That's what Atlanta corresponds.
And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
And right now there's a TV executive walking around.
I can't believe I gave that Jag off a job.
I like to shoot him in the face.
But then we look at the college students, the people who were kids during 9-11.
How did they react to the death of Osama bin Laden?
They struck a somber tone by our college students pondering the real meaning of his death.
How are you feeling about what happened to him?
I feel great right now.
She's drunk.
It's America.
It's time to win your hangout.
He's dead.
We won't work.
Who is he?
Yeah, so for the kids, it seemed that finally killing Osama bin Laden has only brought into sharp focus the pensive need for reflection of the years of waste of time.
It wasn't until the death of bin Laden inspired Applebee's to charge half price in their happy hour that the nation could begin to heal.
It was the Osama assassination blooming onion.
That's what I had.
Right?
Look, it's like a bullet went right out here.
It's like the back of his head opened up, and there's your onion.
That's what it's like.
Is that nice?
So you remember when he was killed, it then again ignited the controversy over torture.
Now, you remember that we used torture on people in Guantanamo Bay that was against the Geneva Convention, against the military handbook code of conduct.
It was against our Constitution.
It was against a lot of things.
But yet they still did it anyway, and they justified it by saying, well, here's Peter King saying that we, here's what he says.
Congressman, right off the bat, tell me something I don't know.
Tell us something we don't know.
Well, I don't know if everyone knows this or not, but you mentioned the fact that we obtained information several years ago, vital information about the courier for Obama.
We obtained that information for waterboarding.
And so, for those who say that waterboarding doesn't work, to say that it should be stopped and never used again, we got vital information which directly led us to bin Laden.
Wow.
Also, wait, wait, let me stop you there.
I did not know that, and I'm sure most of my audience did not at all.
Key information we got on a very, very vital.
That is absolutely fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating.
Even if it's not true.
I've got that on the other networks, I guarantee you.
No, no, you're not going to hear that on the other networks because it's not true.
That's why they were.
What great reporting by Bill O'Reilly?
Oh, you just said that?
Yeah.
Wow.
I never knew that, and I'm not going to question it at all.
Not going to question it at all.
So there you go.
You torture a guy, and bam, eight years later, you got to.
Where did Peter King get that information?
He's the head of the congressional, whatever he is.
His Congress Congressional Committee deals with.
Can he shirt up because it sounds good?
Yes.
So he's the one who had his committee.
He was bringing in Muslims to ask them if they were real Americans and stuff like that.
So he's one of those guys.
And he's like a terrorism guy.
But some people disagree.
But he's been known to support the IRA.
He's very big with the IRA with the IRA.
Oh, that's right.
I remember that now.
Yeah, yeah, he's okay with that.
So there's good terrorism.
Yeah.
Yeah, the bad terrorism comes from brown skin bro.
So here's Donald Rumsfeld.
Here's what he had to say about it.
It is true, as I understand it, that some information that came from normal interrogation approaches in Guantanamo did lead to information that was beneficial in this instance, but it was not harsh treatments and it was not waterboarding.
So here is Donald Rumsfeld, King Torturer himself, saying that no, we got this information through regular interrogation techniques.
But, you know, a couple people disagreed with him.
Like, here's a guy who disagreed with Donald Rumsfeld.
Anyone who suggests that the enhanced techniques, let's be blunt, waterboarding, did not produce an enormous amount of valuable intelligence just isn't facing the truth.
So I don't say, I don't believe him.
I believe Donald Rumsfeld.
I don't listen to that guy.
I listened to the previous Donald Rumsfeld.
And here they are equating waterboarding with torture.
People are equating waterboarding with torture.
And I think that's a mistake.
Okay.
They're just refusing to look at the positive parts of thinking that you're drowning.
It really brings a clarity.
Have you ever almost drowned?
And you know, to be fair, the Bush administration made it very clear back in 2003 and 2004 that the things that they were doing were absolutely going to result in Islam getting captured eight years later when they're not in office anymore.
That was their goal.
That was what they were shooting for.
Now, I don't know much about intelligence, but I believe that the most important information you can gather can be done through instant messaging.
Most of it can be.
So let's see.
Is what you mean?
He says you can't.
Waterboarding is not torture, said Donald Rumsfeld.
Well, here, let's ask a former CIA guy and the author of The Interrogator.
Does waterboarding break any laws or regulations or treaties or any executive orders?
Let's see.
But the fact is that it transgresses the Uniform Code of Military Justice, the Convention Against Torture.
There's Neva Convention's Executive Order 12333 for the CIA.
It's quite clear.
Oh, so apparently there's a couple of things that I've done.
What does this guy know about it, Jim?
What does he know about it?
And then look, is there anything else he has to say?
That the information that eventually broke the case and let us find Osama bin Laden was obtained a year after any enhanced interrogation techniques were stopped with him and had nothing directly to do with them.
So I think the answer for that narrow fact is that the current rewriting of history is wrong.
Okay, so there it is right from the guy.
Did you get that from the website will never be on foxnews.com?
And well, here's Joe Scarborough.
Now, Joe Scarborough's a moderate.
You know, he doesn't listen to the hacks on the left or the hacks on the right.
He's too busy talking all the time to listen to anybody.
He's his own kind of hack.
So here's what he has to say because he's a moderate, right?
And then you've got the ideologues on both sides saying waterboarding led to this.
And the other side saying, no, it had nothing to do with it.
Either it did or it didn't, Joe.
So that's actually a clear-cut case.
That's actually the people saying that.
So what he's saying is you've got to come in the middle.
It had something to do with it.
A little bit of torture is good for everybody.
That's what Joe's saying.
Torture never hurt anybody, Jimmy.
He's moderate when it comes to torture.
He believes in a moderate form of torture, which is why that kind of stuff is BS.
Well, let's go to the horse's mouth.
John McCain, crazy right-winger.
Do you get the right end of the horse?
I don't know.
By the way, Mika Brzezinski, Joe Sarbo's co-host, insists after every episode that she fell down a flight of stairs.
Emotional flight of stairs.
Yeah, she is.
It's a sad thing to watch an abused woman being abused by her spouse on a daily basis.
You know what, Frank?
You're not really exaggerating.
He really has that temperament of a.
And they all gang up on her, too.
The whole panel.
Yes.
Because they're all a bunch of hacks.
But did you see what she's wearing?
Oh, my God.
That sleeveless thing she had the other day and those Jimmy Choo shoes that Donny Deutsch gave her.
Okay, so here's what John McCain has to say about it.
So far, I know of no information that was obtained which could have been useful by, quote, enhanced interrogation.
Okay, so.
What does he know about torture?
What does he know?
It's funny how when you've been tortured, you're against using it as a that's weird.
That's why it should be discounted because you're too close to it.
Yeah, exactly.
That's why the victim shouldn't be.
Although, you know, I agree, though, that torture is a great way to get false information.
Well, that's exactly the perfect way to get someone to say something.
To say anything.
Anything that'll get you to stop torturing them.
So the reason why Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and George Bush ordered torture was not to get information to catch Osama bin Laden because they had chances to catch him just like Barack Obama did, and they didn't take it.
And so now I'm left to only speculate about why they didn't take it.
So because they've proven themselves to be the most nefarious cynical in the history of our country, I'm going to espouse, I'm going to say that they used torture to make them say Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda had a connection.
They wanted the people being tortured to admit that there was a connection between Saddam Hussein and the Bin Laden or al-Qaeda, and they wouldn't say that.
And that's why they kept torturing them.
And they tortured the one guy 180 times.
And so that's what it's great for.
And they didn't want to catch Osama bin Laden because they needed a boogeyman out there to keep all their wars going.
As soon as you capture Osama bin Laden, people are like, why are we in Afghanistan?
Let's get out of there.
And that is exactly what happened.
But aren't you relieved, though, that the war in Afghanistan is going to end 12 years from now?
Isn't that nice?
It is really nice.
You know what?
The only thing it could have been worse could have been 13 years.
Is it possible they found bin Laden because they just tracked down a CIA payroll stub?
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And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
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Okay, rep against the break.
When we return, Bill O'Reilly calls into the Jimmy Door show to let us know what he thinks about Osama bin Laden, killing him and torturing to get information to catch him.
That's coming up in just a minute, but this is the Jimmy Door show on Pacifica.
Okay, hi, everybody.
You all know that this show is made possible by the generous donations of our listeners.
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We're running our poll.
Don't forget, May 13th is Mother's Day.
May 13th is Mother's Day.
And guess what we're doing?
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So you don't have to do that every time, though, by the way.
Go, Jimmy, that's kind of a pain in the ass to have to go to your website every time I want to buy something from Amazon.
Well, here's what you do: you just do it one time.
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We're going to start kick off the second half of the show with a call from Bill O'Reilly.
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Music Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio with former writer from The Daily Show, Steve Rosenfield, from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff and the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
And guess what?
We've got a lot of stuff coming up on the second half of the show, but Bill O'Reilly just called in.
Jimmy Door, this is Bill O'Reilly.
I've been hearing that you and your little liberal pinhead friends on your little radio show over there in Cobbywood, California, have been disputing my claim that the intelligence that led us to the Abatabad four seasons over there where that coward Bin Laden was hiding was a pain through waterboarding.
Now, Jimmy, if you were a real American and watched the O'Reilly Factor, you would have seen that Representative Peter King from New York said so on my show, and I agreed.
And that means it's true.
There's your veracity right there, pal.
QED.
And just because King looks like the bad guy from Tommy Boy doesn't mean that he doesn't know his stuff.
He's been an ardent supporter of the IRA in the past.
So he knows about terrorism because he is personal friends with terrorists himself.
But the white kind, the kind we like.
Not those dirty bearded sandblasters over there.
Now, the British tried waterboarding a top IRA guy in the 90s who got no information, granted.
But then they replaced the water with Jamesons and on a whiskey boarding.
I know how these people pick.
Thank you, lucky stars, for waterboarding, you goddamn comedy queer.
What's coming up on the second half of today's show?
We're going to look into the controversy surrounding Barack Obama's football spiking and excessive celebration in killing Osama bin Laden and the Republicans' reaction to it and the media's constant repeating of the criticism.
We're going to look at that because we all know Dick Cheney.
Anyway, we're going to talk about it.
And then, oh, guess who calls in?
We're going to have Bill O'Reilly calls in a couple of times.
And we're going to check in with Mitt Romney and see how he commemorated the killing of Osama bin Laden, plus Mitt Romney's campaign manager, bit of a flip-flopper.
I think we know where he gets it from.
That's coming up today, but right now, let's play Jim Talent.
Senator Jim Talent was on with Andrea Mitchell, who got, I don't know, I'd hate to be caught in that lion's den.
She's really tough.
So here he is talking about what he considers to be excessive celebration.
What Mitt Romney said yesterday and again today was that, of course, he would have gone after Osama bin Laden with the intelligence that he was there.
But in fact, the intelligence only indicated that he might be there.
It was not that easy a decision, is what those who were there would argue.
Yeah, and these are not partisans.
These are military and intelligence officials who are yeah, Andrea was a it was a significant victory.
The president's entitled to his share of the credit for making the call.
But guess what?
I'm going to try and take away the rest of that credit right now.
But again, the problem is when they beat on this so much and put it in a political context, there's a danger they're going to turn a national victory that everybody should celebrate into a kind of partisan political ad or partisan gambit.
And it also looks like they're just trying to distract from the economy and from some setbacks we've had in foreign policy, like what happened in North Korea recently.
So again, nobody's saying the president doesn't deserve credit.
What we're saying is the war on terror is bigger than just getting Osama bin Laden and don't turn it into a political thing.
Let us all enjoy it.
A couple of points I'd like to make.
First of all, I like how he says, let's let us all enjoy killing another human being.
Can't we all enjoy the killing of someone else, another guy who's unarmed?
We should all be able to enjoy that.
That's a weird way to put it.
Secondly, the next thing you know, Barack Obama's going to put on a flight suit and go out to an aircraft carrier like a jackbag.
He did accomplish this mission.
Put a cod piece on.
Well, naturally, Mitt Romney is going to think that Obama is being overly emotional.
A shrug is overly emotional to Mitt Romney.
And can I just say this about to the Republicans?
Hey, douchebags.
You don't get to keep saying Democrats are weak on defense and then ignore the instances when they're not.
Okay.
And does anybody doubt if President Bush would have gotten bin Laden?
He'd still be doing victory laps around the White House.
We know that.
We all know this.
And Jim Talent, not even actually responding to Andrea Mitchell's point.
President Obama made a very tough decision, which Mitt Romney can't say that he would have made.
Yeah, I think it's a very legitimate point to say that Mitt Romney, there's a good chance Mitt Romney wouldn't make that decision because of Mitt Romney's behavior on the campaign trail in the past.
He's so cautious.
He's so afraid to do anything that's going to upset the people that he's going to want to upset.
That the idea that he would make a bold move that if it went wrong would have been like Jimmy Carter in the desert in...
Yeah, it would have been a disaster for the Obama presidency, and he took that risk anyway.
And it's legitimate to say that based on what we've seen already, Mitt Romney would not take a risk like that.
I couldn't agree with you more.
In fact, if I had another had a producer on my show, he would have gotten me the clips of Mitt Romney actually saying he thought it was a mistake for Barack Obama.
It's a mistake for Barack Obama to say he's going to go into Pakistan if that's where Osama bin Laden is, because they're our ally, and you don't go in there and bomb in our allies' country.
So he was wrong there.
And he would have done it, though.
I believe he would have done it if he were president.
You know what?
I don't think so.
I don't know about that.
I don't think so.
If you go by his words, he wouldn't have.
The way it's being portrayed is a very risky thing.
No president would have passed up the opportunity to do that because then they would have had to lived with the idea that al-Qaeda would strike again, more Americans would be killed, and the news would get out that that person had a chance to kill him and did it.
No president would deliver it.
If that news got out about the Bush administration, they didn't care that much about the people.
But it wasn't hard evidence like this was.
The question is whether you did that on that night, but he was living there.
So theoretically, a president would have weeks or months or years to make that decision again.
So not necessarily that he was, you know, do or die.
Yeah, and the evidence is that when they did have a chance to corner Osama bin Laden and capture him, they called off the dogs.
So Cheney and Bush called off the dogs on him.
They didn't want to go after him.
They needed him because they needed to have a boogeyman out there to keep those wars going.
I don't believe that.
Why don't you believe that?
I can't stand Bush and Cheney, but I can't believe that any president, no matter how cynical or manipulative, would have passed up the opportunity to kill him.
But the facts are that they did actually pass up that opportunity.
But how good was the opportunity?
How solid was the information?
Oh, okay.
I guess.
I guess, yes.
I guess because you have to weigh how credible the information is.
But I wouldn't put you're putting other people's two guys whatsoever.
I wouldn't either, but I would push torture.
They'd use torture for cynical reasons.
They didn't use them for the reasons they said they did.
They tortured, literally tortured people, committed war crimes.
So I think all bets are off.
They have no integrity.
Well, I think it's, you know, I mean, I can believe what you're saying, Jimmy, but I also think it's very plausible that they didn't capture him through sheer incompetence.
Okay, maybe.
Okay.
All right.
Either way.
Also, you know, Biden said no when they went around the room.
Biden said, I don't think we should because we're not sure.
So another president, Democrat or Republican, might have said, you know, it's 50-50.
I say no.
So we don't know what Romney would have done.
And there was a case of...
But we know from his behavior that he's politically cautious to a point where he's incapable of expressing a single opinion about anything.
That's true.
I like how Jim Talent in this clip turned it from, hey, Mitt Romney said he wouldn't do that even before, to, hey, can't we all enjoy killing another guy?
It's like, don't turn this into a political thing.
Let's all enjoy it.
He didn't say let's honor it or let's respect it or let's all feel closure or maybe even satisfaction or maybe even appreciate it.
No, what he said was enjoy it, like it's a Pixar film or something.
I don't think we should all be enjoying shooting a guy in the head.
And also, don't forget the Bush administration.
I mean, you could, we don't have time to list all the times that they exploited the war in 9-11.
It was constant.
It was a lot of political gain.
I'll just sell Miller standing on stage.
I'll just take one point is their terrorist, their terror alert.
Alerts were proven to be politically motivated.
Politically motivated things to put fear into the hearts of Americans so that they would vote for George Bush.
Absolutely.
I love how Jim Talent says that this has now become a political.
He's going to make it a political distraction.
Really?
You guys invaded a whole nother country that had nothing to do with 9-11, and you were going to talk about distractions?
Really?
That's this.
Jim Talent, by the way, his big issue as a senator was stopping flag burning.
Thank God somebody did that.
Somebody knows something about political distractions.
That's all I'm going to say.
I actually, every 4th of July, I'm so patriotic.
I go and visit a flag burn ward.
Nice.
So, I mean, and you know, the Bush administration would never politicize something that or make an accusation like Obama is making that Mitt Romney wouldn't have made that call, would they?
Eight weeks from today, on November 2nd, we made the right choice because we made the wrong choice.
And the danger is that we'll get hit again, that we'll be hit in a way that'll be devastating from the standpoint of the United States.
So, that was that was Dick Cheney at a town hall meeting.
Yeah, we could almost hear his erection, almost.
He said, if you don't make the right choice on November 2nd, we could be hit again, and we could be hit in a way that's devastating to the American people.
So, that was what he was saying to get re-elected.
And he was doing that thing that hypnotists do while he was saying, which was really creepy.
See, that's not fear-mongering or bragging or saying your opponent would do it.
They bragged about stuff that never happened.
I mean, you can just imagine how they would brag about.
And also, I remember, too, when Saddam Hussein was captured, Howard Dean, who was running for president at the time, said that ultimately it wasn't going to make a big difference that he was captured.
And he was roundly criticized by everyone, Republicans and the media, for being so irresponsible as to say that.
And what he said actually turned out to be true.
Dean was running for president when Hussein was killing.
That sounds familiar.
Sounds familiar.
No, no, he was.
What are you talking about?
When was Saddam Hussein?
Oh, Saddam Hussein.
He's talking about Saddam Hussein.
No, I know.
But wasn't that around 2003?
You know what?
Turns out they did capture Saddam Hussein in 2003.
Just did a double fact check.
And so here, at the same time that talent was castigating the president for using Osama bin Laden killing for a political purpose, Mr. Noun Verb and 9-11 ruler Udi Rudolph Giuliani and Mitt Romney were serving pizzas at a firehouse near ground zero and yet another attempt to politicize firefighters.
So Andrea Mitchell tries to bring this up, tries to mention it in a very forceful way, but she loses her mojo right in the middle.
Is it just a coincidence?
Hard to believe it's just a coincidence that Mitt Romney right now is at Ladder 5 with Rudy Giuliani and is near ground zero at a firehouse and about to speak with Rudy Giuliani.
That is certainly his political attempt to at least commemorate this anniversary.
Do you see how she just trailed off totally?
I mean, that was one of the worst.
She started going really good, and then she's like, that's like it's like she was afraid to use the word politicize.
Yes.
Right.
And in the middle of it, it seems like she was thinking, oh my God, are you not going to like me because I'm making it uncomfortable for you right now?
Yes, yes.
And so, and so here.
What happens at Alan Greenspan's cocktail party next week when I run into you?
And so here is Mitt Romney giving his speech down at the Ladder Five, right?
And he's part of the Latter-day Saints.
And it's hilarious to watch him, like whenever he has to do something normal, like, I don't know, carry pizzas, it just looks so weird for him to do it.
Meanwhile, Barack Obama's over in Afghanistan giving a talk to the troops.
He's delivering pizzas to a firehouse.
Couldn't be looking less presidential.
So here he is, what he had to say there.
So it's an honor to be here with the mayor to acknowledge these men and women who serve as our first responders.
Again, didn't try to wring out every bit of political advantage I can out of this opportunity.
That's exactly what he's doing there.
He goes on to say, then he goes on to say this.
The mayor indicated that some 11 men lost their lives on 9-11 from this station.
And 11 has always been a lucky number for me, and I'm hoping it helps me get elected.
That's why I picked this firehouse.
I had 11 dead guys.
My lucky number is 11.
Let's see if it works.
It says somebody needs a pair of shoes.
Okay, here we go.
So it's an honor to be here with the mayor to acknowledge these men and women who serve as our first responders, who rush to danger as opposed to rushing from it.
And then go on to bankrupt our country with their rich health and pension benefits.
Now back to demonizing the unionized workers, right?
And how did those firemen let him do that?
Right?
How does firemen let two Republicans who are known union busters to come into their union firehouse and use them as a political backdrop to get elected and then come in and bust their unions?
I don't know.
It's amazing.
I mean, it's the same.
It's like firemen and cops can't stay away from politicians.
It's like, why don't you stick it up their ass once in a while?
Why don't you do that?
I would love to hear.
Where was the reporter who went and interviewed the firemen and asked them, those firemen, hey, how do you feel about those guys, the guys who want to bust your union?
Didn't Giuliani try to screw everybody over after 9-11?
Yes, he did.
Another phone call.
Hey, Jamie, this is O'Reilly again.
And another thing, don't give me this clap trap about torture being immoral, Doorbell.
Your potato brain can't even grasp the concept of morality.
Morals come from Jesus.
Not from the State Department, not from Joan Walsh over at Slate.com.
Jesus.
An eye for an eye.
That's what Jesus said at the sermon at the fountain or whatever.
You think it's a coincidence that Bin Laden got shot in the eye?
No.
Jesus aimed at assault rifle from heaven.
And that Navy SEAL who pulled the trigger was but an earthly instrument of divine justice.
And by that reasoning, anything that led up to it was also part of God's plan, including torture, Jimbo.
That's right.
Jesus loves torture.
And there's no debate about that.
The Vatican has decided all their things about this.
They've come out with their, you know, their papal bulls and excommunicados and, you know, Ronnie James Dios and all that good stuff.
Look, Jimmy, I got to get out of here.
Glenn Beck just wandered into my dressing room again.
He always starts crying all over my suits.
Hey, that's Brook Brothers, you fat...
LAUGHTER Ha, ha, ha.
-Aha-ha.
-Aha.
Let's get into a little of revisionist history with Mitt Romney's campaign manager, who was on a panel somewhere.
And I saw this video clip and I couldn't believe it.
And so we all know that Mitt Romney's position when it came to General Motors, right, was let them go bankrupt, let Tiproy fail.
That's the way that has to happen because he's all about letting business to free markets and all that stuff, even though the markets aren't free.
They're all rigged in someone's favor.
So here's what he had to say about Mitt Romney's position on General Motors.
Mitt Romney wrote an op-ed for the New York Times in November of 2008 when George Bush was still president.
He said, look, if you want to save the auto industry, don't just write them checks.
That will seal their doom.
What they need to do is go through a managed bankruptcy process.
They went through that managed bankruptcy process.
It's exactly what Mitt Romney told them to do.
So consider that the crown jewel, the only economic success that President Obama has had is because he followed Mitt Romney's advice.
Okay, for those of you who don't remember the events, here's what actually happened.
In late 2008, as the recession was really hitting, during the W. Bush administration, it became clear that the big three automakers were in a huge heap of trouble.
And in December of 2008, the Bush Treasury announced a federal bailout for the auto industry to help them avoid bankruptcy, the kind Mitt Romney has prescribed.
Let's say that again.
The Bush administration tried to stop bankruptcy restructuring in the spring of 2009 for GM and Chrysler, who were both still in desperate straits and they begged for more money.
In return for the loans, the Obama administration ultimately demanded that General Motors and Chrysler file bankruptcy and follow the administration's guidelines for restructuring.
Let's note, at that moment in the global economy, there wasn't a bank in the world that could have or would have made those loans available to General Motors and Chrysler.
A straight Chapter 11 filing without guaranteed federal credit would have meant the end of General Motors and Chrysler.
And that's what Romney was urging.
Those loans, which have largely been paid back at a profit, may have saved as many as a million United States jobs and the auto industry.
And now, all things being equal, GM and Chrysler deserve to go bankrupt.
did because those were some pretty bad cars and the arrogance of those companies would make a drug lord uncomfortable but that being said it is impossible to calculate the cascading effect through the economy that would have happened if those companies would have folded i'm just saying romney's idea of letting the market sorted out would have definitely destroyed the american auto industry as we know it and might have made the recession totally unrecoverable from i know these are subtle points but the general thrust is you mitt romney's campaign manager
with your lying mouth that would be the thrust there that being said people should read mitt romney's op-ed because if you read it it's surprisingly reasonable and maybe even progressive a little if you read it you'll find out that it calls for more national funding for alternative fuels it suggests a different profit-centered relationship with labor not the end of collective bargaining it even points out the problems of companies living and dying based on quarterly earning profits what i'm saying is if
republicans actually read mitt romney's op-ed they'd be calling him a communist well i think they were calling him a com you know for a long time until he became the presumptive nominee they he was always considered uh too moderate although i i don't think his health his health plan in uh massachusetts sunk any true conservative cred that he had right uh for him
actually providing a solution to people's problems with health care yeah it definitely sunk way too commie for yes it's right even though it was a free market proposal that was proposed by the heritage foundation and guess what nobody was against him on that when he did that the republicans weren't upset about him doing that they were only upset that mitt romney did that in retrospect after barack obama also embraced that same republican idea on how to fix health care instead of embracing a democratic idea a progressive idea he embraced their idea if
obama does it it's socialist yes that's all there is to it as soon as he did that that's when they turned on mitt romney and i'm glad to hear his campaign manager admit that that that was an economic success yeah yeah yeah but i don't think people are going to buy the part that it was because of mitt romney's op-ed that this that this economic success happened okay welcome back to the jimmy door show and you know we've been talking about uh osama bin laden's capture and
what bill o'reilly says that torture really helped out and well we've been disagreeing with that bill calls in for a final time to let us know what he thinks door hey and let's give president bush a little credit for this bin laden thing huh can you loony lefty stomach that it's nuts to say that obama did this on his own he couldn't have killed bin laden last week unless george w bush hadn't during his
administration right so thank you president bush and president andrew johnson too that's right if he hadn't been so weak on reconstruction policies in the 1860s and extended the systematic oppression of african americans decades into the future it wouldn't have been so exciting to have a black presidential candidate as late as 2008 an excitement that chewed obama into office in the first place so a special thanks to president
andrew johnson who helped us kill bin laden so to sum up the people who killed bin laden in order of importance bush jesus president andrew johnson the holy spirit peter king jameson's whiskey ronnie james deal tommy boy and brugga ball give me a call jimmy quit hiding
or we'll find you a lot of talk recently about gay bullying and straight bullying and the movie bully most people claim to be against it everybody also thinks they're not racist and they're a good driver people need to be more realistic about bullying i don't want to be a buzzkill and just saying it doesn't get that much better bullying starts much earlier than the first day of school and
it ends much later i'd say within moments of death my father's a great guy but when i was growing up he was the family bully he was bigger older and the only one who had any money so he controlled the psychological agenda if dad was upset about something none of us could be happy either what we didn't realize was dad was out every day getting bullied in the marketplace and though he wasn't always rational you couldn't argue with him he was like the supreme court who if they overturn obamacare will be the equivalent of a
spoiled rich kid stealing an entire country's lunch money and laughing about it with their friends of course there are bullies at school but they aren't just the other kids teachers are bullies too then comes college where the bullies are highly organized into an elaborate network of frat houses then you get a job and your colleagues bully you and you can't complain to the boss because it was his idea but you can't have bullying without the indifferent crowd standing around refusing to get involved if bullies weren't so
entertaining to watch they wouldn't be the subtext for every show on television for eight years charlie sheen played a vicious bully on two and a half men every week charlie's character bullied his brother alan and every week charlie came out on top because alan was a nice guy and thus worthy of contempt in real life charlie sheen acted like such a jerk that he was fired from that show and people thought his career was over then several minutes later he got another show and now he's going to play a
different jerk i just hope he doesn't get typecast turns out we need bullying because it's the only way we can be sure who won that's the basic issue now between obama and romney obama says wealthy people shouldn't bully everybody else and romney replies hey who wants to help me stick this wimp's head in the toilet
and flush awesome very nice okay great job by steve rosenfield and right now i want to let everybody know don't forget may 10th it's the stand-up subversive comedy show at flappers that's right stand-up subversive comedy show at flappers you mentioned the jimmy doors show.
You get a two-for-one at the box office.
And here's the other big show, May 20th.
May 20th, it's a Sunday.
Have you seen the Left, Right, and Ridiculous Show?
If you haven't, it's the funniest show around.
If you have, you know, it's the funniest show in Los Angeles.
That's the left, right, and ridiculous stand-up sketch and video, a raucous bunch of all things, plus a hilarious celebrity panel sits there and makes fun of the talking jackasses in America.
That's right.
American Videots.
It's this, it's Sunday, May 20th.
That's May 20th at the Improv Lab.
That's on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood.
The Improv Lab in Hollywood, Melrose and Crescent Heights.
We'll see you Sunday, May 20th, 8 p.m. show.
There's a link at jimmydorecomedy.com.
Get your tickets, and we'll see you there.
That's May 20th for Left, Right, and Ridiculous.
And also, this Thursday is the Subversive Comedy Show at Flappers.
Okay, so those are the two big shows happening in the next two weeks.
Happy Mother's Day.
Don't forget about the Pro Flowers.
You go to ProFlowers.com and you can help out the show.
There's lots of different deals, by the way.
There's more than just 100 Blooms thing.
There's lots of other things.
So if you go to proflowers.com and you type in Jimmy D, you're going to get the deals that help the show, okay?
So do that.
Support the show.
Make sure it keeps coming to you every week.
And I want to, right now, thank everybody who makes this show possible.
The voices today, well, Mitch McConnell was voiced by Jimmy Doar.
I don't know.
That kid gets it done somehow.
But all the rest of the voices of Bill O'Reilly were done by Mike McRae, none other than MikeMcRae at MikeMcRae.com.
And today's show was written by Robert Yasimura, Steve Rosenfield, Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, and Steph Zamorano.
And today's show was produced by me, but who cares?
And so thank you for listening.
Thank you for your support.
Have a happy Mother's Day.
We'll see you back here next week.
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