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Feb. 9, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:14:42
20120209_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_2-9-12
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Time Text
If there's a moment of silence, look at your phone.
And if you don't know what to say, you can look at your phone.
Don't go looking around.
Everyone's looking down.
Look at your phone, look at your phone, look at your phone.
What you gotta do when the grid goes down?
And will you have a plan for yourself for when the grid goes down?
Or will you be all alone just staring at your cold dead phone in an apartment in Wescovina?
you have to check it you You could have some messages from someone far away.
Someone with something to say.
If there's a moment of silence, look at your phone.
Thank you.
It's the Jimmy Door show.
The show for the mind of Lou and Love and Lucky.
The kind of people that are.
John Vance may be on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's our popular comedy.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's show.
I am joined in studio from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com.
It's Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Great, Jimmy.
How you doing?
I'm doing very good.
I like the blue t-shirt.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I was hoping you'd like it.
It brings out your makes your eyes dance.
I don't.
Oh, the day has been a success so far.
I don't want to sound too Rick Perry.
Next to him, next to him from Team Yasamura, it's the hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert, how are you?
I'm doing great.
What's not to like?
Now, what is not to like, Robert?
You got the glasses on.
You got a nice baseball hat, huh?
Nothing like a Japanese guy in a baseball hat.
Next to him, next to him, the host of Dream Tweet, hilarious comedian, Jonathan Corbett.
Hey, John, how are you?
Doing well, man.
I'm liking your goatee.
Looks good.
Thanks.
I'm working on it.
I like the choice to not color it.
I really do.
Okay.
So the big news was: guess what?
Rick Santorum goes three for three.
He wins Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota.
And pundits are explaining it, saying that Centorum won over GOP voters by convincing them that his hateful intolerance is the most sincere of all the Republican candidates.
Okay.
I believe it.
Also, big news out of California.
The court strikes down Proposition 8.
That's right, threatening traditional values of bigots, busybodies, and Republican closet cases across the country.
You know, I bet Newt Gingrich's ex-wives confronted him about his adultery, and he accused them of going negative.
And don't let, you know what?
The Komen Foundation reversed its course.
You know what happened with the Komen Foundation?
They're the breast cancer people.
And then they decided that their mission was to stop funding Planned Parenthood.
So it turned out they had a lump in their mission statement and they had to rectify it.
But what else is what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to talk about the East Haven, Connecticut mayor.
He's got a problem with Latinos.
After that, we're going to talk about the Catholics.
Have a problem with Barack Obama.
Huh?
Lord, did you think about that?
Of course, Pierce Morgan does an amazing job of interviewing Ron Paul.
Ron Paul gets a little contradicted on abortion.
We talk about that.
Plus, John Kayset, the governor of Ohio, talks about his secret to success.
It has to do with not reading.
Okay.
Coming up.
Plus, we have phone calls from Mitt Romney.
Clint Eastwood talks about his commercial.
He calls in.
Plus, Ron Paul calls in to explain his stance on abortion.
That's coming up today on the Jimmy Door Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, in this week's Oh My God segment, I don't know if you've heard of the town of East Haven, Connecticut, right?
But they've been having some problems.
I've heard of Sweet Haven, where Popeye lives.
Well, the Latinos of East Haven, Connecticut say they have lived in fear of local authorities for years.
However, a feeling of shock and relief came over them last Tuesday after the news broke of the arrests of four rogue East Haven, Connecticut police officers who the FBI accused of systematically targeting Latinos with unlawful searches, seizures, traffic stops, and even physical abuse.
So a Latino reporter from East Haven, Connecticut went to talk to the mayor to see what the mayor had to say about he immediately said, don't trust the report.
This is what he said.
And that's why we can't always believe what we hear from the press.
Never criticize without knowing the facts.
So he says you got to get the facts.
Okay, so I'm pretty sure the facts are that the FBI just arrested four East Haven, Connecticut police officers for systematically denying civil rights to Latinos.
I think those are the facts.
But then I report.
So what would you say to a Latino reporter in this kind of situation when he asks you, what are you going to do for Latinos in your community?
You ready?
Here we go.
Let me just, before I start this, let me just say that this may be the most amazing piece of public speaking that I've ever seen.
Wow.
It far outpaces Donald Rumsfeld's things known and things not known.
Remember that?
And it makes Rick Perry's oops moment look like the Gitty Burger address.
Okay, so here it comes.
All right.
And just and all Americans out there in the sound of my voice, just remember that when a reporter comes and asks you questions, you don't have to talk.
You can just choose to not share your thoughts.
And here's a good example of why.
Ready?
What are you doing for the Latino community today?
I might have tacos when I go home.
I'm not quite sure yet.
I have spent two years.
I might have tacos.
What a card.
I might have tacos when I might.
So, you know, what a better way to deal with the fact that it's just been revealed that your city has been institutionally discriminating against Latinos than to kind of mock them immediately when a Latino reporter asks you what you're going to do.
It gets better.
Okay.
So that's just how it starts.
As a comedian, I would have to advise him.
Chimichungas are much funnier.
It's a funny word.
It's a funny word.
I would have went chalupa.
Chalupa, also funny.
Chalupa beats tacos every time.
Although not Mexican.
Not a lot of chalupas sold south of the border.
No, no, no.
Or Mexi melts.
So here we go.
So now he realizes what he just said and he tries to get out of it immediately.
Here we go.
He's in Puerto Rico.
I will probably do the same thing for the Latino community.
That's not really the comment to say right now.
You might have tacos tonight.
I might have spaghetti tonight.
Being of Italian descent.
Check me.
I've had ethnic food.
And when you asked me what I was doing for Latinos tonight, I may go out and have a Latino dinner in the Latino community.
There's nothing wrong with this.
And you can twist it and turn it whichever way the press decides to do.
Yeah, you can twist.
You know, I'm not going to let you.
Nice try, but you're not going to twist my words with one continuous, unedited shot that shows me speaking my words verbatim.
Nice try.
You know, there's no, okay, there's a little bit more.
Let's keep because he brings this up again.
Again, being someone of Italian descent, I don't know what you are, and it doesn't matter what you are.
Being of Italian descent, I in this community have been at times thought to be of an ethnic background.
And you know what?
That doesn't make any sense what he just said.
I, being an Italian, have also often been thought to be of an ethnic background.
And that's his stump speech.
Okay.
It's not the brightest bulb.
Here he goes.
Our community is an open community.
We admire all religions, all faiths.
Sure.
Sounds like it.
It doesn't matter whether you're Italian, whether you're Irish, whether you're Polish.
That to me doesn't matter.
Yeah, as long as it doesn't matter if you're not Mexican or Latino.
As long as you're white.
That's pretty cool.
If you're an Italian white or an Irish white.
You could be Norwegian.
Or Polish, Swedish.
I'll even.
Some Russians are welcome.
Some were not the Jewish ones.
But yes, I. Some Mediterraneans, but not real dark.
The swarthy ones.
No.
That the Mexicans that I see working on roll road crews don't dig as big a hole as this guy's getting one little iola iota.
So if I was going to go out and have a Mexican dinner tonight, Italian dinner digging.
He keeps going.
This guy realizes he's screwed up.
That's the beauty of this.
Oh, no, he doesn't.
This guy is digging a hole.
Here we go.
It's immaterial.
It's an open community.
I'll ask you what you are having for dinner.
Doesn't matter.
I could eat Italian food.
That's not the question.
Exactly.
Here we go.
He keeps going.
You're having for dinner, sir.
I was asking, what are you doing for the community?
And you responded immediately, I'm going to have tacos probably tonight.
I could, again, if I was going to go out and have tacos, I'd go to the Italian community.
That's not the point here, Mayor.
There's 10% of your community here that has been, that is Latino.
There has been a segment of this community that's been impacted by the FBI arresting four officers over alleged discrimination.
And you tell me, and you tell me today that your priority tonight is I might go have tacos.
I didn't say it was a priority.
I asked you, what are you doing for the Latino community?
Maybe go out and have a Latino meal tonight.
Whether it be tacos, whether it be any other meal.
Gorditas.
I'm telling you, it gets better.
How many ways can I explain this to you?
Who wrote this sketch?
It's brilliant.
You know what?
If this is the mayor of East Haven, imagine the mayor of South Haven.
Well, my whole point, who did this guy beat out?
Was he running against the guy from Namblon?
He just lost the debate to like an intern with an iPhone.
And the reporter's really, the reporter is really doing his job.
I mean, he really should.
He has the good sense to call this Nitwin on his nonsense and all of good grace to allow him to rectify his comments.
And all the while, the reporter is resisting going, What the fuck are you talking about?
Okay, there's more to this clip.
Isn't it great that there's more to this clip?
Oh, God.
Welcome to all this, what's going on?
We are.
We are doing something.
And I think I explained to the people who will be watching on your TV station that we are doing something.
But nothing for those impacted directly, which is the Latino community in this case, correct?
We are making sure that the Latino community that we have here is safe.
We are making sure that the Latino community can move about town just like anyone else in our community.
Again, these are allegations.
As long as they're moving out of town.
Yes.
Keep moving away.
If they're going back.
I'm seeing the back of their heads.
I'm happy when they're moving.
Listen, I want the praise for allowing Latinos to have free access to movement.
Not everybody would do that.
Okay, ready?
Here we go.
There's more.
These officers are innocent until proven guilty.
So whether they're Latinos, and, you know, the name calling to me is only perpetuates a problem that we may not have in our community because I don't think this is a systemic problem within our police department nor within our community.
We are an open community.
You know, no matter how you twist and turn it, I'm not twisting or turning your words.
You just told me that tonight, when asked you, what are you doing for the Latino community?
Here we go.
Go ahead.
Make it sound whichever way reporters want it to sound.
Mayor, Mayor, go for it.
Take your best shot.
Mayor.
Take your best shot.
Go ahead.
I am not twisting words here.
Say it whatever way you want.
Did you tell me that great news?
Did you tell me that you were going to have tacos?
I said I might do that.
Yeah.
I asked you about what are you going to do for your Latino community tonight.
And I said, after that, I explained myself, and I'll say it again, whether I have tacos tonight with the Latino community or spaghetti with the Italian community.
The main thing we're doing is keeping our Latino community safe, our Italian community safe, our Irish community safe, and whatever else you want to toss in there.
Shepherd's piece.
Twist it and turn it whichever way.
Or make it sound whichever way you want to the press.
I'll go with that.
I make news.
I'll go with what you said originally, sir.
This kid's great.
Whoever it is.
Okay, so.
It sounds like the mayor is also very hungry.
He's got food on the brain.
He's hungry until proven guilty.
I think that after, I'm sure the immediate aftermath of this was the National Republican Committee calling this guy and saying, you know, you could succeed on a national scale.
We want you as a part of our.
Would you like to run for president?
Yes, exactly.
You know, and let me just say, this guy said this.
This is after one question.
This is not a gotcha question.
This is not this guy being cornered.
This was one question.
What are you going to do for Latino Cameroon?
Oh, damn it.
Okay.
And the fact that he didn't have the good sense to shut up, that he just kept rambling.
They didn't have the good sense of any hack politician and just give a bullshit answer, you know, to the question.
That only is, yes, exactly.
Like, what we're trying to protect.
That's what all politicians do.
What they really think is, yeah, I want to go have tacos tonight.
But they then they.
He couldn't wait to like almost insult them.
And it was a Latino reporter.
He's like, what are you going to do for Latino?
I'm going to go with tacos, jerk.
How do you think?
Oh, wait, is that a microphone?
Let me clarify.
And then plus, like, oh, well, I might have spaghetti with Italians.
Well, would you have pizza with Latinos?
Now you're talking crazy.
Yes, would you have goulash with some Egyptians?
No.
No, you don't have goulash with Egyptians.
Twist my word.
What are you people?
What are you, a gypsy?
You boy, born in a storefront?
It's like this guy not only lets out enough rope to hang himself, but he let out enough rope to hogtie three baskets on a rope bridge.
This guy says, This has been, oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh, god.
Let's drill, baby, drill, not star, baby, star.
That woman is an idiot.
Here it is.
Republican Healthcare Plan for America.
Don't get sick.
If you think that's a fair ad, okay, then you're a Republican and an asshole.
Have at it, Hawes.
Be in that part.
Despicable, man.
They're the bad guys.
Analysts try to pay our bailout.
Yeah, that's not true.
Who knew Mama won?
The reason why we worked so hard for him.
We didn't want to guard variety politicians.
Taking a stand, I just cut Neil.
Don't know what vision is.
That's what Vision is.
The best of the left podcast.
The best of the truly liberal media.
Edited, organized, and mixed.
Only at bestwiththelest.com.
I do.
You know, a lot of people refer to Ron Paul as that crazy right-wing crackpot.
And we at the Jimmy Dorr show always want to remind people that Ron, that's not true.
Ron Paul is a right-wing crackpot and a gynecologist.
And he's so against abortion.
He's one of the chosen few bunch of morons who's not only against abortion, but he believes that all human life is sacred because apparently he doesn't watch The Tonight Show or Jersey Shore.
So here he is talking with Pierce Morgan.
Pierce Morgan, you know, that deft interviewer, that muckraker over at CNN, that guy that brings out all the big stars, Gabfly.
Sure.
So he was, so here he was asking him about Ron Paul has a position where he's against abortion because he believes abortion starts.
I mean, life starts at conception.
Conception.
No, I can't even conceive of that.
But conception is when that's a human life to him.
So Pierce Morgan trips him up because, well, he asked him the obvious question: what if your daughters were raped?
What would you do?
This is here we go.
If one of them was raped, and I accept it's a very unlikely thing to happen.
But if they were, would you honestly look at them in the eye and say they had to have that child if they were impregnated?
If it's an honest rape, an honest rape.
An honest rape.
You know, where the guy is really earnest about it.
Like, hey, I'm enjoying this.
I'm really, what is an honest rape?
I think what he meant is that like, is that whenever a woman, this is seriously, I think what he meant is that when a woman comes and tells you she was raped, it might not necessarily have really happened.
You know, she might have just been promiscuous and was leading them on.
You know, that's what I interpreted, what he meant by that.
If it's an honest rape.
So if someone's raped, and now they have a conceived baby, what should they do?
That individual should go immediately to the emergency room.
I would give them a shot of estrogen.
You would allow them to abort the baby.
Well, it is absolutely in limbo because an hour after intercourse or a day afterwards, there is no legal or medical problem.
Okay, didn't answer.
I don't know what that even means.
Yeah, I don't.
He means that it's not really abortion in his mind.
He's saying there's because you can just take a morning after pill of conversion therein.
But it's too late.
Right.
Because he says, so Pierce Morgan, here we go.
Talk about somebody coming in and they say, well, I was raped and I'm seven months pregnant and I don't want to have anything to do with it.
It's a little bit different story, but somebody arriving in an emergency room saying, I have just been raped and there's no chemical, there's no medical, and there's no legal.
First of all, thank God he addressed the rampant problem of women who are seven months pregnant claiming they were raped because they decided they can't handle the baby.
I mean, how many times do we have to hear that story before someone does something about it?
I know.
All right, so here we go.
So life doesn't begin at conception.
Life does begin at conception, but he'd be taking a life.
Well, you don't know if you're taking a life either because this is.
Okay, first of all, let me just say, Pierce Morgan just wrapped Ron Paul in a Boy Scout knot.
Okay.
Pierce Morgan.
Pierce Morgan just took him apart in two seconds.
Pierce Morgan.
Pierce Morgan took down Ron Paul.
He showed how crazy and dumb his positions are, how contradictory, hypocritical, and ignorant and moronic his position is.
Pierce Morgan.
Ron Paul is going to have to watch out from a hard-hitting interview from Ryan Seacrest.
Yeah, no kidding.
The equivalent of Ryan Seacrest.
There's more.
Because this is an area that is, but to decide everything about abortion and respect for life on this one very, very theoretical condition where there may have been a life or not a life.
No, but here's the thing.
Although it is a hypothetical, it does happen.
People do get raped and they do get impregnated.
And sometimes they're so ashamed by what's happened that weeks go by before they may even discover they're pregnant.
And they have to face this dilemma.
And they're going to have a president who has a very, very strong view about it.
Okay, so that's a pretty straightforward question.
Right.
Pretty much lays the issue right out on the table.
And let's watch Ron Paul, Mr. Integrity, Mr. I Don't Pander to Anyone.
Let's watch him not answer the question.
Now, this is like the proposal that the people who like abortion endorse abortion because it's a woman's right to her body.
You say, well, does that mean one minute before birth, you can kill the baby?
And I did this on one of the TV programs where some women were opposed to what I was saying.
I said, this nine-pine baby, it's in the woman.
She has it right.
She argues with her pays.
I said, you abort this baby because the woman has had some unfortunate circumstances.
So the doctor gets paid a handsome fee to kill this nine-pine baby.
Oh, that's not what we're talking about.
But that is what they're talking about.
They're talking about a human life.
Okay, Ron Paul, no, that's not what we're talking about.
That's the horror story you want to talk about.
We want to talk about what if someone's raped and then they find out they're pregnant.
That's what we want to talk about because you say it's okay to abort that baby if it's in a day or two and it's an honest rape.
But right now, Pierce Morgan just tied you in a knot.
And when he asked you a direct question, you immediately had the fear monger.
He demagogues the issue and he couldn't help himself.
It's like, no, here's the sticky issue for you, Ron.
The sticky issue for you is that what if someone's raped?
Now, would you let her get an abortion?
And he immediately goes, well, what about if the baby is just about one day away from birth?
That's not the question, Ron.
You just switched the question because you lack integrity, you lack character, you're ignorant, and you're backwards.
And your name is Ron Paul.
Okay.
All right.
I just wanted to get that out there.
Anybody, what do you feel about abortion, John?
I don't like it.
Some people like it.
I wouldn't put myself in the group of people who enjoy it.
They want their doctor to say on Facebook you're going to have an abortion and then they click the like button.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, hey, honey, let's tonight let's get together and create an abortion.
Two weeks from now, we'll be having a blast.
That's Ron Paul.
That is Ron Paul.
His supporters say he's the honest out of all.
So that's why his candidacy is an honest rape of the American public.
Well, there was a, I think he clarifies his position much better in one of his old newsletters.
The honest rape.
The honest rape.
Yeah.
He just gets a little bumbled here.
The honest rape.
You know, I actually called Ron Paul to see if he could clarify.
And yeah, so I'll see what he said.
Dr. Paul, what is an honest rape?
What do you when you say it's an honest rape?
What does that mean?
Well, I mean, as opposed to a dishonest rape where the woman's saying no, but she means yes.
That sounds that doesn't sound right.
Well, yeah, I know.
I mean, it's a horrible situation if you've ever been involved in it.
No, I've never been involved.
Have you been involved in it?
Well, I was in the service.
Yeah, I worked at an OBDYN for a year, so certainly.
Yes, I mean, you say it is okay sometimes to have an abortion, even though you say that life starts at conception, right?
Well, in certain instances, you know, saves him all his life, or they'll have been able to, you know, yes, but yeah, I mean, abortion can be a medical procedure.
Yeah, see, see, now it's like you're twisted in knots again, and I even try.
I'm not even trying.
And you sound ridiculous, like, because you say, well, no, no, yes, yes, because you say that life starts at conception.
Conception, you're saying that.
Well, it does, yeah.
But then you're saying that it would be okay to give a woman if it was an honest rape to give her an estrogen shot like a day after.
And then that, what wouldn't that be if it was an abortion?
Wouldn't that be killing her?
Well, it's interesting in Shocko's head.
I mean, it goes back in time before the fetus exists and prevents the rape from happening.
Yeah, see, you sound ridiculous.
Well, if you receive Superman, basically go to him.
Yeah, yeah, you sound like this is really silly.
See, this is, you don't sound principled.
There's nothing silly about Superman.
But you don't sound principled.
You don't sound like you have integrity.
You don't sound like any of those things that people like.
Look, I'm trying to win an election here.
I mean, I've got my work to do.
You sound like someone who has.
I do sound like someone.
You sound like someone who is trying to win an election because it's funny because you have this ideology, and then as soon as a real-life example bumps up against it, like a woman being raped, an honest rape, you immediately, you know, you're like, it's a very complicated issue, and people get upset no matter what you say.
So it doesn't matter what I say.
People are going to get upset anyway.
I might as well say something weird.
No, why don't you say something smart and consistent, but you're not.
You're being inconsistent and contradictory.
And some people would say hypocritical.
And I would be one of those people.
Well, I mean, I don't give a shit.
So Pierce Morgan was able to catch you up on this.
That's how easy it is.
That's how ridiculous you're being on this.
Well, I mean, that doesn't speak very well to me.
I must admit, because Piers Morgan is a horrible interview.
I mean, he buried interviewing, you know, or something.
You know, a presidential candidate.
You don't have a clear position on abortion.
You don't.
Just so you know.
Well, no, it's not true at all.
I mean, I've been very consistent as far as my views on abortion from day one.
No, no, you're not.
Because you're saying you try to scare us by saying, oh, what if she's seven months old, seven months pregnant?
And she said, oh, I was raped and I don't want to have this baby.
Well, it doesn't matter to you.
Either it's a life or it isn't a life and it's a life at conception.
So it doesn't matter seven months or one day.
A life is a life to you.
And you're saying sometimes it's okay to kill that life because it's convenient for you to say that.
Well, no, I mean, that's not what I'm saying.
That is what you're saying.
No, I'm just saying that life does begin at conception.
And sometimes you can abort fetuses.
I don't see how that would be either.
Okay.
That would be it right there.
That's because you're saying abortion is wrong, but then you're saying sometimes it's okay.
That's why.
That's the problem.
No, no, no.
That's it.
Life begins at conception, day one.
Yes.
Which I said from day.
I've said that from conception of my own self.
Conceiving.
I said, this is it, brother.
I'm a fucking life.
But so you can't abort it, you know, unless there's a certain mitigating circumstance.
Yeah.
I think most people understand that.
Yeah, most people couldn't see right through you right now, is what's happening, Dr. Paul.
And, you know, I like you.
There's certain things about you I really like.
I'm a fan, but this is not one of them.
This ridiculous stance you have on abortion.
It's invasive.
It's not progressive.
It doesn't respect women's rights.
It doesn't respect the way women can handle their own body.
And quite frankly, it explodes.
A woman can handle her own body when she's pregnant.
She goes, I'm an LBGYN.
The kind of doctor that exists because when women are pregnant, they can't handle all that shit.
They need to go to a doctor to help them.
Okay.
Okay, that was Ron Paul, Dr. Ron Paul.
Right-wing nutbag, but also a gynecologist, ladies and gentlemen.
Ron Paul.
Okay, we're up against a hard break.
This is the Jimmy Doer show on Pacifica.
How about that Mike McRae and that Ron Paul impression, huh?
Does it get you every time?
It gets me.
I just love it.
We got some Mitt Romney coming up.
We got Clint Eastwood coming up in the second half of the show.
And Jimmy, what is a fun way?
What is a great mutually beneficial way that I can help support the show?
Well, thanks for asking.
Don't forget, Valentine's Day is coming up Tuesday, and we've got two great promotions.
I'm not kidding.
Everyone loves our flower promotion.
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How do you get this deal, Jimmy?
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How do you do that?
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Nothing to it.
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That's it.
What is the deal again, Jimmy?
Here's the deal: a dozen red roses, free vase, free chocolates, free teddy bear for $29.99.
You make those roses long stem for an extra nine bucks.
This is a great deal.
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It gets there on.
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Right?
So this deal is good till the 13th.
So go get it.
And here's the other deal.
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If you have, and I'll tell you about them one more time.
Oh, I had to take a breath.
One more time.
These things are gigantic.
I used to send these.
I send these to my parents for their birthday every year.
I send them as business gifts.
I send them to myself because they're unbelievable.
So, and they covered them in chocolate, and they're covered in white chocolate and coconut and other things.
They're fantastic.
And how do you get the deal?
What's the deal, Jim?
You get a half a dozen of these for $19.99.
You can double the berries for an extra nine bucks.
What a deal.
So here's what you do.
You go to berries.com.
What?
How do you spell that?
Jim?
B-E-R-R-I-E-S.
Just that simple.
B-E-R-R-I-E-S dot com.
You click on the microphone in the upper right-hand corner.
You type in Jimmy D, and you get that deal.
But this deal is only good until Midnight Friday.
So 9th, 10th, the 11th.
So at midnight on the 12th, it's over.
So this is a great deal, though.
You like those strawberries?
Get them.
You will be happy.
You write me and say, Jimmy, thank you for telling me about the strawberries.
That's how great they are.
Okay, so those are really great ways to help support the show.
If you're looking for a great way to support the show, those are two great ways.
And if you can't remember the stuff I said, all this information is available at my website, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
I have links at the website.
I have pictures of the flowers, pictures of the berries, and I have instructions for how you don't need instructions.
You're smart.
You listen to this show.
You know how to do these things.
You go to proflowers.com, click on the microphone, you type in Jimmy D. You go to berries.com.
You click on the microphone in the upper right-hand corner.
You type in Jimmy D, and then you get the deal.
And more importantly, it helps support the show.
And this is what I like to call the win-win-win-win-win.
Okay, so thanks for supporting the show.
And back to here, let's get back to the second half of the show.
Hi, welcome back to the Jimmy Doer show.
I am joined in studio from cinematictitanic.com and Mystery Science the Year 3000.
It's TV's Frank Frank Connoff.
And next to him, from Team Yasamura, it's hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura.
Next to him, to my left, to Robert's right, it's the host of Dream Tweet, the game show to go.
It's Jonathan Corbin.
Hey, everybody's tweeting, faving, and deleting.
So follow Friday.
I support you do.
Is that a song?
And play Dream Tweet.
That's my theme song.
The Game Show to Go.
It's the Game Show Podcast.
So that's the Game Show podcast.
What's coming up on the second half of today's show?
Well, John Kasich is the Ohio governor.
He puts an new twist on the old saying, reading is fundamental.
We're going to find out what that twist is.
Plus, we're going to have phone calls.
Who calls in?
Mitt Romney calls in.
Plus, Clint Eastwood calls in to clear up his commercial gaffe.
So here is the new governor of Ohio, John Kasich.
Gone John Kasich.
Former Fox News.
Former Fox News.
Future Fox News.
Current Fox News guy.
That's what I think.
And the first of the big three governors to really destroy unions.
Really go after the unions heavy.
Right after working people because we can't afford to pay people a decent amount of money, and that's the problem.
And John Kasich, you know how he got so smart?
Here, he lets us know how he got so smart.
No, I don't read newspapers in the state of Ohio.
Nope.
Nope.
Doesn't.
Wow.
Really?
What was the question?
Exactly.
That's what I want to know.
What was the question where he answered?
I don't read newspapers.
The question was: did you finish this week's crossword puzzle?
I think the question was, why are you so bad at your job?
No, I think it was, did you see this week's Ziggy?
It's like, why do you seem completely tone deaf, Governor Kasich, and kind of ignorant of reality?
Oh, you don't read any papers?
Okay.
All right.
So here, there's more.
Very rarely do I read a newspaper because just like I think form the presidents have done in the past, reading newspapers.
Oh, yeah.
Presidents, it's true.
There have been several presidents who have chosen not to read the newspapers.
Several truly shitty presidents have chosen not to read.
I think Grant was not a big reader.
No.
So he's showing you that he's presidential.
Yeah.
This is attempted.
Yes, here we go.
Okay, here's more.
Just like I think form that presidents have done in the past, reading newspapers does not give you an uplifting experience.
No, it does not give you.
All that news is like so depressing.
You know what I say, Governor?
Try the jumble.
Try the jumble.
It's crazy uplifting.
And, you know, I never thought about it that way either.
I mean, I thought a newspaper was there to report useful information that someone like me or say the governor of a state might find useful, if not crucial.
No, it's a bummer.
No, the newspaper's there, it's there to uplift you, like a sermon or a Kate Hudson movie.
That's what the news is.
And it's also very in stark contrast to Sarah Palin, who reads every newspaper, every magazine, and every book that comes That they put in front of her.
Yeah.
Even Sarah Palin was embarrassed to say she never read any newspapers, right?
Even she made something of it.
So, John, so you know, the old motto was reading is fundamental.
John Kay said, reading is peripheral, really.
And I don't know if I pronounced that word correctly.
Nope.
Peripheral.
Peripheral?
Peripheral.
Peripheral.
Okay.
Well, just when you say peripheral, just say it on the outskirts of the show.
Okay, I will.
I'll say it on the parameters.
Yes.
A parameter of the perimeter.
No, all he needs is all the governor of Ohio needs is Fox News and the Weather Channel.
Because as governor, you should know if it's raining.
Okay.
That's all he needs.
He's got just a little bit more to say.
Here we go.
Time to time, people will send me articles and things I need to know about.
From time to time, people will send him.
Press recipes and stuff like that.
Like, what do you do every day?
Don't you have daily meetings with advisors?
Or are they also forbidden from delivering any crucial information that might not uplift you, Governor?
Are most of your staff meetings about gossip and planning off his birthday parties?
If it's not uplifting.
Okay, I think he has a little bit more to say.
Let's see.
But I have found that my life's a lot better if I don't get aggravated by what I read in the newspaper.
So he doesn't want to get, doesn't want, do you understand what this guy just said?
He's one of the most powerful governors in the United States.
Said he receives his news in the same manner and frequency with which he gets links to puppy videos on YouTube.
That's the same reason he doesn't study unemployment numbers.
Dragging, yeah.
Huge drag.
don't want to hear about.
Maybe if you read a newspaper, maybe you'd read a poll that said that the majority of Ohioans are against your legislative agenda and are going to ruin you coming in the next election.
Maybe you He's the governor of the state, but he's not like into political things and topical stuff and stuff that's going on in the world.
It doesn't really interest him.
That's what makes him fascinating.
And by the way, Rising Star.
Rising Star doesn't read.
My life's a lot better if I don't get aggravated, but what I read in the newspaper.
You know, and I'm sure the people of Ohio are grateful that your life is a lot better too, Governor Kasids.
I'm sure they're sitting around going, you know, I'm out of work.
The schools are screwed.
I can't afford health care.
And organized labor just took its worst body blow in a thousand years.
But the governor sure seems relaxed and easygoing.
He doesn't want to be rattled or upset.
Come on.
Yeah.
You got to admit, though, he does make being a Republican very tempting.
I mean, where else can you proclaim things that should be shameful and then get rewarded for them?
He might have just talked his way onto the VP ticket.
This is presidential material, clearly.
I mean, he just proclaimed that he doesn't read the news and his base is probably cheering him, right?
Our last president thought the world is 6,000 years old and he got elected twice.
Don't you wish you could do that?
Don't you wish you could just be, hey, I'm a chronic masturbator.
I'm afraid a monster might live in my closet.
Hey, here's a major position of power for you.
Why don't you go run a state or something?
I just wanted to mention, you know, maybe it's not a bad idea for the Republican politicians to not read because one guy did read U.S. Representative John Fleming, Republican.
What he did, he's getting some headlines because, well, he's from Louisiana, and so you know he's bright.
And on Monday, his public Facebook profile published a link to an article from The Onion that was titled Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Dollar Abortion Plex.
And he posted up the status more on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale, Fleming said on his Facebook profile, where he linked to The Onions article.
So maybe they shouldn't read, maybe because they can't tell the difference between satire and they can't tell the difference between real news.
So it would just confuse them.
What's this guy's name, Fleming?
Fleming.
His campaign slogan was Fleming.
I don't get it.
Okay, I'm going to shift gears right now a little bit.
And I want to let you know something.
This is a great story.
Okay, now, if you don't know about this, I owe a Honda Hybrid, Honda Hybrid Civic.
We bought it in 2007, and we were going to get a Prius, but the Honda Civic hybrid was a couple thousand dollars less than the Prius, but it was a bunch of dollars more than a regular Civic.
It was like five grand, maybe six grand more than a regular Civic.
But we're getting the hybrid technology.
Well, there's a big problem with the Honda hybrids.
Okay, what happened was they didn't perform like they said.
They said we're going to get 50 miles to the gallon.
We barely get 40.
I get in the mid-30s.
Other people get even less.
Well, there's a lot of, so they decided there was a class action suit against them, and they're just trying to decide right now how much money to give us for being screwed over by thousands and thousands of dollars.
And they've decided to give us $200.
Well, that didn't sit right with one lady named Heather Peters.
Heather had the brilliant idea of taking Honda to small claims court where you can sue for $10,000 and Honda doesn't get to bring in lawyers.
Well, we sat down and talked with Heather Peters to get her story.
It's an inspiring story of a consumer standing up to a corporate behemoth.
And let's find out what the outcome is.
And I'm talking with Heather Peters, who bought a 2006 Honda Civic hybrid and wasn't really happy with it.
Heather, what was your problem with the Honda?
Well, you know, they advertised 50 miles per gallon and it never really got 40 even, but I wasn't going to sue over that.
I just put up with it.
And then the battery started dying.
And Honda came up with this great idea that instead of paying three grand a pop to replace the battery, they'd program the software to use the battery left.
Now I get 29.
And even that didn't get me off the couch, but there was this big class action, actually five of them.
And they sent me a thing in the mail and said, oh, we'd like you to be 200 bucks and a coupon towards your next Honda.
So you buy a Honda Civic hybrid thinking it's going to get 50 miles to the gallon.
You pay extra money for that hybrid technology, correct?
Like, what is the difference?
Do you remember what the price difference was between a regular Civic and a hybrid Civic?
You know, the regular Civic was about $17,000, and I paid $24,500.
So it's not insignificant.
So it's a big, so you probably paid a little bit more than an accord would cost a next level up car, and it didn't deliver what they promised to deliver.
They offered you $200?
Yeah, well, it's not just me.
There are 500,000 people in this class, and they offered us each, you know, well, $0, $100, a $200,000, depending on how bad your car was.
I would have gotten $200, but, you know, the judge said $9,800 and change.
So I think I made the right choice.
So then you took them, so you opted out of the class action suit and you sued them in small claims court.
And the maximum you can sue for is $10,000.
Now, they said it was a long court case.
Can you tell me how long it took?
Well, it was long in small claims terms.
Usually a small claims case is done in half an hour or An hour.
Mine took probably three hours over two days.
But the judge was obviously spending a lot of time on it because, you know, it had implications far beyond his courtroom.
And it got media attention.
I mean, there was the little tiny courtroom was packed with TV cameras.
Okay.
So now, who showed up for Honda?
Because you're not allowed to have lawyers in small claims court in California, correct?
Yeah, in California, and that's why I chose it.
I thought this is great.
I don't have, you know, it's very informal.
It's just like Judge Judy.
And so Honda sent a technical specialist who's a guy that worked his way up.
He was a mechanic at one point, and now he works in their litigation department.
And I guess this is his job is to go tell people that the EPA made them put that number on there and you can't sue them for it.
But that's not true.
And I quoted chapter and verse of EPA esoteric regulations that said, no, that's just the maximum.
If you know your car is never going to be able to do that, you don't advertise it.
And so the judge agreed with you that they were, that was false advertising.
Absolutely.
To the tune of $9,867.19, to be precise.
Now, can I, you know, what I just don't understand what could possibly be Honda's argument that a car that that was advertised to get 50 miles to the gallon actually is now getting less mileage than the regular Civic.
So how did they, what was their argument?
Well, their argument is, you know, we test these things according to EPA and the sticker is what the EPA tells us.
And, you know, the EPA made us do it.
That was their whole defense because the EPA made us do it.
And the judge did not buy that at all.
The judge said, yes, that's the EPA number, but you have an independent duty to make your own determination of what the car can actually do.
And if it can't actually do that, don't tell people it can.
Okay, and so now are they still telling people that the Honda Civic hybrids get 50 miles to the gallon?
Well, you know, coincidentally, in 2008, the EPA just revamped all its testing procedures because they knew it was ridiculous.
And so in 2008, they changed it.
And I think now they advertise something like 41 or 42, which is what the car was actually getting in the beginning.
So that's not out of the realm of possibility.
But what they don't tell you, and it's big for us in Los Angeles, is, you know, at the trial, they're going, well, you know, it says right here in this tiny little type that, you know, driving conditions can affect mileage.
And I'm like, yeah, I know that.
And they said, well, you know, if you drive with your air conditioning on or if you drive and stop and go traffic, you're never going to be able to get that mileage.
And I'm like, really?
Then you should tell people in Los Angeles that before they buy the car.
Right.
Since that's where you're selling the car and that's where they'll be driving it.
Exactly.
So, okay, so that is just hilarious because I've heard other people try to defend Honda by saying that, well, that's, they say it could get up to 50 miles per gallon.
So they weren't lying.
I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure that's lying.
Yeah, I was pretty sure lying.
If you know that in traffic and air conditioning, it could never do that.
That's a lie.
The other thing that they said is in the brochure, they said, drive it just like you would a regular Civic.
And that's totally not true.
The EPA did testing on these cars in particular.
And Honda, you know, made comments on it that hybrids are particularly sensitive to driving conditions.
And so you don't advertise, drive it like a regular Civic.
If you know, you have to drive it.
Like one automotive reporter said, you step on the accelerator as if it were a Faberge egg.
So now you, so you win the case.
And so that they, so then the guy from Honda immediately wrote you a check.
How does that work?
Not exactly.
No.
The guy from Honda immediately issued a press release and said, this case is a radical departure, and we will appeal.
And I said, yeah, it is a radical departure.
It's radical that someone's standing up for themselves for a change.
Yeah, someone's holding corporate America accountable.
That is really radical.
Yeah, radical.
I'm a radical baby.
I think I'll have a t-shirt made up.
So now you should.
So now what happened?
So you didn't get the money yet.
What does happen?
No, they get to appeal, and it's not as scary as it sounds because, again, California has these really friendly rules for small claims court.
So it's not like they can drag it out forever and go up to the Supreme Court.
They get one shot to appeal it.
It's essentially a do-over, and they can have their lawyers with them, but it's still the same informal judge duty, no discovery, no, you know, it doesn't go on forever.
When they file their appeal, I could get a hearing data in as soon as two weeks, and then you're done.
That's it.
No more.
If they lose again, they're done.
So you go to one more kind of now.
What is that court called?
Do you know that?
It's called Superior Court, which is the regular court, but it doesn't operate under normal superior court rules.
It operates under these, you know, quick and easy, simple rules.
And there's no like hearsay objections or any of that legal mumbo jumbo.
You just you just go there and tell the judge's story in plain English.
It's very, very easy.
But, you know, I don't mean to dismiss it.
They are going to bring to bear the best and the brightest that money can buy, I'm sure, and try and launch me like a bug.
So now are they allowed to bring lawyers into it?
Yeah, for the appeal, they're allowed to bring lawyers in.
Oh, really?
Okay.
And, you know, I've got a little bit of an advantage there because I was a lawyer for 10 years and I used to defend big corporations.
Okay, okay.
I know how they think.
But actually, this week I've reactivated my law license because of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Honda people that contacted me through don'tsettlewithhonda.org, which is the website I put up to just help other people do it.
Okay, I think that's how we got a hold of you too.
You know, I'm also a Honda Civic hybrid owner.
Of course, they are.
Sorry to hear that.
Condolences.
You know what gets me is that they're going to give us $200 for a completely screwed up car, which didn't perform the way they said it would perform.
And now the reason why we spent the extra $5,000, $6,000, $7,000 for the hybrid technology is because I thought I was going to make up that money in gas savings, which we're not making up.
So now they overcharge us for the car.
And now, how am I going to resell this car?
Exactly.
And the judge took that into account in my case, and he gave me over $5,000 for reduced value, assuming that people weren't going to want to buy the car.
Of course, because now you can get the same mileage as just buying a regular Civic.
So there's no increased value in it being a hybrid car.
Yeah, I actually went on eBay Motors and printed out a couple of sales to show the judge that a regular Civic of the same year was selling for more than a hybrid.
Oh, you're kidding me.
And you know, the other thing about this case, it's really important.
It's not just the brochure.
It's not just the advertising.
Honda reprogrammed our cars.
This is an affirmative act.
This is an intentional act.
And I say it's like breaking into the garage and siphoning my gas out.
You know, This wasn't just false advertising.
This was intentional reprogramming of the car.
And I'm lucky I'm not in danger.
Some people are in danger in these cars.
No, I didn't actually ever go in for that.
I never took my car in for that battery uptake just because I'm lazy.
And now I'm glad I didn't because it will actually reduce my mileage even further if I do that, correct?
Exactly.
Exactly.
No, but they're going to make you do it.
If you want to have any warranty repairs done, they're going to make you do it.
Now, you being a former corporate lawyer, now, what would make them think, now, to me, it seems like that's pretty blatant fraud.
It's obvious fraud.
It doesn't take much digging to discover it or uncover it and expose it.
So what made them think that it wouldn't get exposed?
What made them think that they could pull this off, do you think?
Well, you know, I have long stopped trying to figure out why they do what they do because none of it makes any sense.
I offered before I sued them, I wrote them a letter.
I said, look, you know, you can pay me some money for my gas.
You could buy the car back for Kelly Blue Book.
And I said, I'll even take a trade on another 2006.
Just trade me for a non-hybrid 2006.
I don't even want a new car.
Never even called me.
To this day, they never even called me.
Really?
Well, that just seems to be the culture now in America that corporations get to do whatever they want.
And if you find yourself on the wrong side of corporations' rules, that you're a bad person.
Yeah, and you know what they do.
And now that we're all talking at don'settlewithhonda.org, they can't get away with it.
But they make you feel like you're crazy.
You call and you complain and they say, oh, it's your driving habits.
Oh, it's the way you maintained your car.
Oh, it's your tires.
Oh, it's your fault.
And people like really believe that, oh, gee, it was just me.
But not anymore.
We called, you know, on my first oil change, I told the guy I mentioned, I go, you know, it's not getting the gas mileage.
It's not getting 50 miles to the gallon.
He goes, oh, it just needs time to go.
Break in, yeah.
That's another great myth.
Yeah.
I actually, I'm lucky.
My dealership that services my car is outstanding and very, very honest.
And I subpoenaed the shop foreman to come testify.
And he's told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
And the judge really was swept by that.
So the shop foreman from the Honda dealership that you bought your car from actually went to court on your behalf?
Yep.
So now here's my problem is now when I go back to my Honda dealership that I bought the car from, I know that they're lying to me when they sold me the car, and then they lied to me when I called them and told them it wasn't getting the mileage.
So how do you maintain good feelings towards your dealer?
Well, you know, my dealer, you know, I actually bought it at a different deal.
I've never had it service where I bought it.
I had moved after that.
So, you know, I haven't got a real beef after on them.
But, you know, the other thing is, Honda is the one that does all the national advertising.
You know, your local dealer has to use the Honda brochure.
They're not allowed to go out and make up their own ads.
So, you know, I didn't really hold them to it that much.
And, you know, the software reflash, too.
The Honda technical service bulletins makes them do what they do.
But, you know, whether, I don't know, if they're just making stuff up, then maybe they're not as good as my dealer was.
So when you got that shop foreman to come in and testify, did he testify?
What did he testify to?
No, he testified that, yeah, that these cars never got what they said they would, and that the software, the software update was a huge problem, and that it drastically reduced people's mileage.
And he talked about the air conditioning and stop-and-go traffic and all that kind of stuff, too.
I mean, he wasn't happy about being there.
I had to serve a subpoena to make him come, but he was a stand-up guy, and he stood there in front of all the television cameras in all the world and, you know, all of Honda's King Sources and all the King's Men.
So he was really great.
And, you know, my dealer was always honest with me.
I took it in.
I said, it's not getting the mileage.
And they went, yeah, Honda knows about it.
They refuse to do anything about it.
Honda refuses to replace these batteries under warranty.
If you call them, this is what they're going to tell you.
They're going to say if your light isn't on, you know, your car is nearly dead light.
If that light's not on, they won't even consider replacing the battery.
They know that the reflash has caused these problems.
And it's not just mileage, it's acceleration.
You know, my car has trouble speeding up on the freeway when you're trying to get on, but I haven't felt like, you know, I'm going to get crashed.
We started a petition, and we got over 1,200 signatures on the petition.
Over 300 people left their personal stories.
And people were saying, oh, my God, I got rid of the car because I was afraid I was going to die.
I mean, people were saying that it completely died, like completely left them in the middle of freeway traffic, turned off and just stopped.
Really?
So, you know, there's a bigger aspect to it than that.
And Honda's got this settlement coming up by Saturday.
It's really, really important.
Anybody with a 2003 to 2009 Honda Civic Hybrid, you are in this class whether you like it or not, unless you affirmatively write them a letter and say, get me out.
And you only have until Saturday to post-market.
So go to don'tsettlewithHonda.org.
Find out what your options are.
You can print a little letter there.
There's a form letter.
Print what you need to send them to tell them you want to get out.
And if you stay in, you can still, if you, you know, small claims isn't for everyone.
If you still want to stay in, but you want to say this settlement's not very good, contact me through don'tsettlewithhonda.org.
And for 50 bucks, I'll be your lawyer and file a big fancy brief with all my evidence and go in and argue it on your behalf and try and get the judge to say no to this settlement.
Okay, so you're recommending people like me, people who are Honda hybrid owners, that they write a letter.
First of all, they can go to your website.
What is it called?
Don't settlewithhonda.org.
Okay, and then you'll have instructions there for them what to do.
And the most important thing is send the letter into Honda and opt out of this class action suit.
Or, I mean, you could do either or.
If you want to opt out and sue on your own, you send the letter and opt out.
If you don't have the inclination to sue on your own, but you're really mad about this settlement, then you write a letter saying I object, which is same deadline.
By Saturday, you have to say, I either want out or I object.
And if enough people object, even if they don't get out and sue on their own, enough people object, then the judge will look at this and go, oh, wait a minute.
They're offering 200 bucks.
This lady got 9,800.
This is unreasonable.
I'm not going to let Honda settle this case.
And so where do you think this will end up?
Do you have any Idea, you know, if you had asked me three months ago, did I imagine that Honda wouldn't settle?
I never would have imagined it.
So I don't know where it's going next.
I think that I know that this deadline is big.
I know that hundreds of people are opting out because they've told me so on my website.
I know that hundreds of people are going to object.
And I think that judge in the class action is going to have to think long and hard.
I don't know how he could possibly stand up in front of the world and say this is $200 is fair, given everything that we know now.
I just don't understand how a $5,000 add-on to a car, which actually did nothing, could you, they think they don't have to compensate you for that.
Like that, it's just like what judge would see.
My whole thought was I thought they were going to get to the judge in your case.
I thought that, you know, I mean, we all know how things work.
I mean, we all saw Occupy Wall Street.
We all see that the forces that be in our government don't work for the people, that the government, you know, unless they're forced to by a law, which thank God we have friendly consumer laws in California.
So, but it just didn't.
I just thought that for sure they were going to get to that guy and that they were going to pressure him like, hey, you can't do this.
This will cause a catastrophic economic calamity inside Honda and inside.
So I just thought they would stop this.
Well, you know, I took a calculated risk because I could have filed it anywhere in Los Angeles County.
I could have taken them to Lancaster if I wanted.
I filed right in their backyard in Torrance.
And I was taking a risk that this judge, like, you know, all of Honda's local economy, maybe he would go for them.
But I had an opportunity to sit in his courtroom for an afternoon before I decided to file, just to get a feel for him.
And I watched him work on probably 10 cases over the afternoon.
And I thought, you know, my mom always said, go with your gut.
And I think my gut was right.
He really, I just watched him and I thought he gave people who deserve money money.
And I thought he told people who didn't deserve it to get out.
And I couldn't ask for more in a judge.
And he really, I mean, he wrote a 26-page opinion.
I've seen Supreme Court cases that were shorter than that.
It was a 26-page opinion on your case?
Yeah, that's on the website, too.
Don't settlewithhonda.org.
Right on the front page at the top, you can read the opinion, click on it.
26 pages.
Very, very serious stuff.
Well, let us know.
So, what's the next date when you'll find out how this all turns out?
Well, I don't know.
They went to the press and said, we're going to appeal.
We're going to appeal, but they haven't filed their appeal yet.
So I don't know what the date is in my case, but the date in the class action is this Saturday.
Everybody needs to make a decision.
Because a lot of people think that the papers that come in the mail are asking them to join the suit.
So they think if they don't send in the papers, then they're not joining the suit.
And it's exactly the opposite.
You're in it unless you file the papers to get out.
Okay.
All right.
And so, well, we'll keep in touch.
And now they, so they don't have to pay you.
Did the judge not put a deadline on when they have to pay you?
No, they have 30 days to file their appeal.
So they don't have to pay me for 30 days.
If they don't appeal, they have to pay it the 30th day.
But they said they're going to, and I take them at their word because if I were their lawyer, I'd say you better appeal this because the judge in the class action is going to say, hey, she won.
Everybody else should get a lot of money.
Well, I'm definitely going to sue them too.
So there's no doubt.
I mean, it's just horrible what they did.
And I just really, I can't, you know, it's just at some point we have to step up to corporations.
And I almost said corporate America, but it's really, you know, that one-world globalism now.
So there is no American companies.
There are no Japanese.
They're all just companies that run the world.
And so I'm really proud of you for doing that.
It's inspiring.
I want to thank you for doing that on behalf of all our listeners.
And hey, for other people that want to sue on a website too, you can buy for $15 a CD with all my evidence on it.
Oh, fantastic.
That is great.
All right.
So don't settle with Honda.org.
Yep.
And everybody should go there.
I'm going there right now.
Heather Peters, thanks for taking time to talk with me.
Thank you so much.
Keep getting the word out.
Great show.
Okay, so now we're going to switch gears.
And so Mitt Romney has been trying to explain away that gaffe that he's been in trouble with for a long time.
Could you be more specific?
We could be talking about dozens.
Mitt Romney's got a gaffe about when he's talking about very poor people that being okay.
They're doing the safety net.
And so, well, I had a conversation with him, and this is what he had to say.
Jimmy Doerr, it's Mitt Romney.
You've probably seen that new poll that says, the more people know about me, the less they like me.
I'm sorry, but I just don't get it.
Why don't people like me?
If I were capable of human emotion, that really hurt my feelings.
Actually, there is a lot about me that is quite lovable.
For instance, did you know that I watched the puppy ball on the animal planet this past Sunday?
Man, those puppies were so cute.
I would just love to see them all strapped to the roof of a car, howling in vain to terror as an 80-mile-an-hour wind slaps them across the face like a rolled up newspaper from a vengeful and angry god.
I wish it was so.
Oops, I did it again.
Concern it.
I let people get to know me in a way that will make them not like me.
But I'm telling you, Jimmy, people have the wrong idea.
They think I have gold-plated bathrooms or something like that.
Not true.
In fact, my preferred method of evacuating my bladder is to pee on poor people.
I like to go under bridges and write my name in here and haul over the carcasses of sickly homeless folks.
And sometimes I like to go to Skid Row and eat club sandwiches in front of starving indigent children.
Does that make me a bad person?
Okay, I admit, sometimes I eat a Monte Cristo.
According to some left-wing socialists, that would make me a bad person.
But I'll bet you $10,000 I can make people think I'm not some aloof out-of-touch rich guy.
Come on, $10,000.
Put up or shut up.
Hell, I've got more than $10,000 in my change drawer.
Holy crap, I am wealthy.
I am so friggin' loaded.
You must be really jealous.
Well, I want everyone to know that I'm having a really cool birthday party at my mansion with a pony and a chocolate fountain.
But most Americans are not invited because you're poor and you're ugly and I hate you.
I hate you.
Okay.
I guess I did it again there, too.
I guess some citizens won't like knowing this about me.
Jimmy, this is really messed up.
Because I believe everyone will love me once I'm president.
I will appeal to conservatives, liberals, moderates, libertarians, and independents, depending on whom I'm giving a speech to at any given moment.
So, Jimmy, please help me out.
Stop talking about me.
Stop mentioning my name.
If I'm going to win this race, I need everyone to forget about me by election day.
All right, buddy.
Well, I've got to go have a banana split.
I'll talk to you later.
Okay, that was Mitt Romney calling in, letting me know.
Clint Eastwood did a commercial for Chrysler, which is now owned by Fiat.
Remember that?
Chrysler is now owned by Fiat.
Right?
While I was on the Super Bowl.
He was on during the Super Bowl, and he came out and he's talking really softly.
And he said, it's halftime in America.
And we all pulled together.
And we're all going to make that Detroit is back and all that stuff, right?
So it's all about Detroit and Detroit is coming back and how we all pulled together.
And first of all, almost zero laughs.
I didn't think it was very funny.
Without an orangutan, he has a hard time getting laughs.
He does have a hard time.
He needs some kind of a monkey.
And then they showed, except the only funny part they showed when he was talking about we all we pulled together, they did show an image of the fireman after 9-11.
I'm like, hey, that is funny because we're back to demonizing public employees and we're trying to bust their union.
So we don't really care about firemen.
We don't care at all about firemen in America, those worthless Government employees.
Okay.
So what is so?
What did you think of it, John?
What did you think?
Did you see the commercial?
I liked it.
You thought it was.
Did you think it was a pro-Obama commercial?
Because that's what people are saying.
I didn't get that.
Although there was a, if you, it was kind of funny if you had noticed how high his pants were jacked up.
He's an old man, you know.
He's not a young man.
He was.
Do you think it was a pro-OP?
I mean, it's, it's, see, my whole thing is it actually was, well, reality kind of has a liberal bent because Barack Obama bailed out the car companies and now they're doing better than that.
The fact that it had something to do with the reality made it less leaning.
And even if I hadn't thought it was like that, the fact that Karl Rove was offended by it.
Karl Rove was offended by it.
That means it must have been.
But what I've heard is that, you know, Clint Eastwood did this commercial that's left-leaning.
And so in response, Chuck Norris is going to do a commercial for anyone who'll hire him.
That's funny.
Well, here, you know what?
Clint Eastwood actually called in to the show.
Well, I had a conversation with him about it.
And here's what we talked about.
Did it look like a political ad to you, son?
Yes, it did, actually.
Looks very.
I was talking about cars and Detroit in getting America back on track.
Can someone explain to me how doing a commercial for an Italian car company is pro-Obama?
Well, because he gave federal.
The first time I checked Barack Obama is the president of the goddamn United States, not Italy.
So who are you supporting for president, Mr. Eastwood?
I told you, I'm not political.
I'm supporting a goddamn cheap grand Cherokee with a petty power interior for president.
Can you do that?
Can you support a car?
Why not?
Well, because it's not a person.
I mean, it doesn't do as good of a job as any of these other jokers.
Okay.
Don't get America out of halftime.
I think halftime was just.
Well, maybe I'll vote for a Grand Torino.
You can't.
I like cars.
We get that you like cars.
I'm an old man.
You get it, punk.
You like cars.
I like cars with grand or grand in the front of it.
Something big's going on.
You can get in and drive them around.
You do.
People know you're in charge.
Yeah, that's how people will know.
Now, that's a real car.
Okay.
That's some damn rice burner made by fish heads.
Okay, that's all.
I'm talking to you, Yasamura.
Okay, good talking to you, Clint.
Bye-bye.
Oh, what a bankerous old man.
I was surprised he singled me out.
I didn't know I was on his radar.
I didn't know I was on his radar.
Of course, that's the inimitable Mike McRae doing the voice of Clint Eastwood and Mitt Romney and Ron Paul on today's show.
MikeMcRae at MikeMcRae.com.
And I want to let you know this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, February 9, 10, 11, I'll be at Flappers in Burbank telling jokes.
Hi headlining that week.
Saturday, first show, Billy Gardell from Mike and Molly will be on that show.
So I'll see you this weekend in Flappers and Burbank.
And don't forget, take advantage of our special promotions.
It's a great way to help support the show.
Our Pro Flowers promotion and our Sherry's Berry's promotion, two great promotions that really help support the show.
And you know, another great way that I have been forgetting, I've been remiss in mentioning, another great way to help support the show is we have the Amazon, when you go shopping at Amazon.com.
Well, does that help benefit anybody?
Well, a good way to help benefit our show is if you go to our website, there's an Amazon.com box there.
You go, well, Jimmy, I'm not going to remember that every time I go to shop at Amazon.com, what you do is you click through the Amazon.com box.
That's all you use.
Click through and you go to, it takes you right to Amazon and you shop like you normally do.
But when you do, once you click through, you just set that as a bookmark.
That's your Amazon.com bookmark.
And you know who told me to tell you to do this?
Jay from Best of the Left.
He tells all his listeners to do that, and it really works.
So it really helps support the show.
And it doesn't cost you anything.
It doesn't change the way you shop at Amazon.com one bit.
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That's when you bookmark it.
You bookmark it right then.
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It really is.
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They send it to our show to help support our show.
It doesn't cost you anything.
It doesn't change the way you shop there, but it is a big, big help to our show.
It really is.
So thank you again for your support.
Thanks for listening.
Today's show.
Guess what?
Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Frank Honiff, Steve Rosenfield, Jonathan Corbett, and Robert Yasamura.
Today's show was produced by me.
And I want to give a shout out to the two gentlemen who donate their time and talent to our show.
Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films does a great job.
He takes the phone calls and other comedy bits we do on our show and he puts video to them.
And they are amazing.
I just ran into James Adomian, who does Jesse Ventura on our show.
And he couldn't stop talking about how cool the video looks that Frank Pulaski put together for his Jesse Ventura impression he did a few weeks ago.
So big thanks to Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films.
And also, you know, our show, we do our show on a Macintosh computers.
That's what we use over here.
And we couldn't do it without the help from our good friend Sean James at MacHelp.com.
So if you want to get a hold of Sean James, go to MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
That's how you email him, and he'll fix anything you have.
I'm telling you, the guy, well, what they call him is a genius.
So it's Sean James.
So you can get a hold of him at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
And you spell Sean, S-H-A-U-N.
Okay.
That's our show for this week.
Thanks for listening.
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