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Jan. 6, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Yes, this is Christopher Hitchens.
I would be remiss we were not to express a certain gratitude to Jimmy Dore for inviting me on his program, though I believe he does present an evil more pernicious than that of Mother Teresa.
This is a song about making mistakes.
Sometimes we all make mistakes.
Sometimes we catch the real tough breaks.
Sometimes we catch the real tough breaks.
But here's a trick that I've been working on.
Just say oops and move on.
Ran out of gas.
Or maybe you stepped on broken glass.
Or tweeted your boner to a college girl.
Just say oops and move on.
Or maybe you're a movie star and you end up at a bar.
Next thing you know, you're getting blackout drunk and saying stuff about Jews.
Don't you even sweat it.
Have a gin and tonic and just try to forget it because it's all good.
You know the press can be a bitch sometimes.
Just say oops and move on.
Sometimes there's nothing else to do.
Besides, there might be people chasing you because you sold them a bunch of worthless stocks for 20 billion bucks.
Just say oops.
There's supposed to be something here.
Here we go.
Or spilled 100 million gallons of oil and fed up the world.
Don't you get morose.
Take a weekend yacht trip off the English coast because it's all good.
You know that life can be a bitch sometimes.
just say oops and move on It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's hard to talk on your T-Value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's show.
I am joined in studio from TBS's Dinner at a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
Hi, Paul.
How are you?
Jimmy, how are you?
Next to him, former writer for the Daily Show and hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you?
Oh, it's good to see you, Steve.
All right, good.
Good to see you.
You could skip Temple today.
Always comes up.
And next to him from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com is Frank Connoff.
TV's Frank.
Hey, Frank.
Hey, Jimmy.
How are you doing?
I'm doing good.
Thank you.
You're wearing black today.
Yes, I'm in mourning for my career.
Okay.
Well, what's coming up on today's show?
Well, last week, people seemed to enjoy the first half of the year, year in review.
So this year we're also going to do a year-in review.
But, you know, let's talk a little bit about the last night we hit Iowa.
And so it's clear right now.
Rick Santorum is our next president.
It is.
I'm looking forward to seeing President Huckabee turn it over to him.
Hand him over the keys.
Is it his theory in running for he lost re-election to become to keep his seat as a senator?
Yes.
Now he's running for president.
Is his theory that he's going to be more popular with people that don't know him?
I think that is his theory.
Yes.
As soon as you get to know him, you don't like him.
Right.
He's against contraception.
He is.
So that means he's not going to wear rubber when he screws our country.
Very nice joke, Frank.
That sounded like you had that pre-ready.
You're on the board.
Okay.
And last night, Newt Gingrich, he came in fourth and he snatched adultery from the jaws of defeat, which was nice.
And okay, so those are all jokes about the Iowa candidacy.
So, well, it was a crazy year.
We did the first half.
So starting in June, we got to know some of the Republican candidates for president, right?
And this was my favorite one.
Oh, shuck and duck is the man would say.
It was Herman Kane.
He was the top of the pack.
And Herman Kane, who said that, who also had some problems with Muslims.
So wait a minute.
Are you saying that it is that Muslims have to prove there has to be some loyalty proof?
Yes.
To the Constitution of the United States of America.
Well, would you do that to a Catholic or would you do that to a Mormon?
Nope, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
No, he wouldn't have.
So he wouldn't have loyalty tests for anybody but Muslims.
He likes to approach the podium saying...
That was Glenn Beck.
Wow, and he sounded like the reasonable one.
That's crazy.
Yes, Herman Kane.
And let's remember that four years ago, I mean, this was the guy who was leading the pack and they were all happy about it.
All the Republicans, nobody.
And let's remember four years ago that Howard Dean got run out of the race by the Democrats because he yelled a little too loud at a campaign rally.
And he was great.
But I think the big story from last year had to be the debt ceiling debate, which happened in the early summer.
And it all started out.
It was great because Barack Obama totally outwitted the Republicans again.
He lulled them into a false sense of security by giving them everything they wanted.
He's the master.
So here we're going to play.
Here's a little Barack Obama.
Here's his jumping off point from the negotiation over the debt ceiling.
To get there, I believe we need a balanced approach.
We need to take on spending in domestic programs, in defense programs, in entitlement programs, and we need to take on spending in the tax code.
Yeah, see, he says we need to take a balanced approach.
You know, we need to balance taking away medical care from the poor, the elderly, and the needy.
And that will be balanced by an imperceptible 2% tax on income over a million dollars.
Pretty balanced, right?
How did you, Paul?
Let me turn to you about the debt ceiling debate.
Did you feel that Barack Obama caved in?
No, I think he balanced it.
He balanced it perfectly on the backs of the poor.
You can put a crushing amount of weight on the backs of poor people if you find their center of gravity.
Because they're sturdy.
They're workers.
Yeah, their center of gravity is that they don't vote.
And that's where you balance it on that.
Did you remember?
I was worried noting that, excuse me, that the GOP didn't take the deal, which was good for Obama because his deal wasn't good for us.
So it actually worked out.
That was what he was thinking, that they wouldn't take it.
Well, what they ended up doing was appointing the super committee, right?
So they couldn't come to the deal.
They ended up appointing a super committee.
Superman, Aquaman, Batman.
Justice Lantern.
All teamed up.
And they took 12 members of the Congress, and then they were going to be the super committee, which is great.
And it worked out perfect because they couldn't come to a cook.
They didn't do anything.
They didn't do anything.
They just kicked the can down the road.
It was weird that Barack Obama, this is before Occupy Wall Street happened.
We all have to remember that, that when he was negotiating, it was all about the deficit.
Right.
And we got to cut spending.
And the one thing that almost every economist agrees about is that the last thing the federal government should be doing right now is cutting spending.
Yet here is the Democratic president of the United States doing what the Tea Party is asking him to do instead of what economists and most of the Americans want him.
The Americans don't want him to balance the budget on the backs of the working people, the poor, the elderly, or students.
Yet that's what he's doing.
And he's saying it's a balanced approach because he's going to put another 2% tax on the richest people who won't even feel it.
Frank, what did you feel about the debt ceiling?
I think as far as the way Obama handled all that, it goes without saying, my God, what a socialist.
I mean, Victoria Jackson is right.
He's a communistic, socialistic, radical, forgotten Nazi, a radical pro-Muslim who killed Osama bin Laden.
Speaking of Victoria Jackson, you just always assumed when you watched her on Saturday Night Live that she was playing the dumb blonde.
No, not so much.
She's so method that she remained the dumb blonde for another 25 years.
She didn't.
You know, it's just like when you're a little kid and you make a face and your mom warns you, if you do that, it'll stay.
That's what happened with her.
You know, if you play a dumb blonde one too many times.
And as long as we're doing a year in review, I have to say that her show, Politichix, is my favorite internet show of 2011 by far.
It's appointment television.
Yes.
I definitely.
Because you have to make an appointment with a psychiatrist actually watching.
It is now.
I feel bad at having those clips from her show.
Oh, well, you could, you know, you should say that you should do a whole show of that because it's playing clips from political chicks because it's worth it.
It's worthy of its own.
Getting back to the debt ceiling debate, you know, when Barack Obama says that this will require both parties to get out of their comfort zones, you know, like the Democratic comfort zone of standing up for Medicare, Medicaid, poor, elderly, the disenfranchised, they have to stop doing that for a little while so they can appease a small group of maniacs on the right called this Tea Party who are out of step with the economists, 70% of Americans, and the majority of their own damn party.
But we got to get out of that comfort zone.
They don't want a comfort zone.
They want you to have a voucher for a comfort zone.
Well, Barack Obama actually called me to, he was upset.
He wanted to explain what was happening.
Jimmy, this is Barack Obama.
I would like to take this opportunity to address the criticisms of my handling of this impending government shutdown.
We need to arrive at a compromise here.
And like I said yesterday, we need to start acting like grown-ups, adults, grown-ass men.
We put away childish things like principles, ideals, and convictions.
A grown-up lets the opponent frame the debate.
Grown-ups do what corporations tell them to do.
That's a very adult thing.
Now, I've been criticized on the left by folks who just don't want to grow up.
I hear, you know, Dennis Kucinich sitting there sucking his thumb, telling us that the workers should come first, like a child.
Bernie Sanders, more like Bernie Sandbox.
Another big baby.
Now, just imagine.
If Martin Luther King had more of the spirit of compromise about civil rights, he might just be alive today.
Well, come on, Jimmy.
Nothing and nobody are perfect.
We need to meet the Republicans halfway.
You know, in the middle of the other side.
Everybody knows the best way to build a bridge is to start from both ends, and we're just building our end a little further, which means that we'll be able to keep the government open.
And that in the future, your grandma won't be able to see a doctor every time she wants.
That way, everyone wins.
Give me a buzz.
That was President Obama letting us know about why he caved into the Republicans over the debt ceiling debate.
And this is the Jimmy Door show.
I'm sitting in the studio with Paul Gilmartin, Steve Rosenfield, Frank Conniff.
And we're talking about the year that was 2011.
We're talking about the second half of the year and the debt ceiling debate.
And I'm going to play a clip from the Morning Joe show because I like to play clips from the Morning Joe show.
And they had one of my favorite guys.
Well, first of all, just to show you how bad that President Obama really did cave.
Here's David Frum.
David Frum is a former speechwriter for George Bush.
He coined the phrase the axis of evil.
So he's a bona fide Republican, okay?
Here's what he was saying about President Barack Obama and his caving in.
The president's own weakness has invited a lot of this problem.
What he has done, his weakness has constantly empowered the most radical people in the Republican Party and disempowered people like John Cornyn, who are dealmakers.
Now, John Cornyn has to worry about primary challenges.
And every time the president has retreated in the way that he has, he has proven John Cornyn's potentially primary challenger right.
So what he's doing is he's saying that when Barack Obama starts off his negotiations from the middle of the Republicans' position, he's screwing moderate Republicans.
He's only leaving room for the most radical of Republicans to have a voice.
Because now because you have to oppose Barack Obama and you can't oppose him by agreeing with his position.
And Barack Obama is trying to do that Bill Clinton triangulate thing where I'm going to take some of the Republicans' positions and neutralize them.
But what it's actually doing is backfiring on Barack Obama because it's just empowering the most fanatical people on the right.
And he has one here is one more thing to say about it.
And here we go.
Making no excuses for the people on the other side of the table.
They've behaved badly.
But the fact is...
They've behaved badly in this debt ceiling debate.
It's a Republican saying that.
He has agreed with the Republicans that the deficit is right now at a time when unemployment is 10% and interest rates are 1%.
He has agreed with them.
But do you think he's wrong about that?
He's talking.
And I even have a job.
But I think he's wrong about that.
He almost screamed.
He's totally wrong about that.
So stop.
Yeah, he stopped himself.
He's talking.
Okay, I can't.
I can't.
Truth alert.
Yeah.
So basically, what he's saying, here's a moderate Republican saying that Barack Obama is crazy to propose moderate Republican positions and that so are the far-right wing people.
They're also crazy.
But Jimmy, that was a whole different news cycle.
It doesn't count now.
Nobody's talking about this stuff anymore because it was a different news cycle.
Well, you know what?
I would love to sell Barack Obama a car just to negotiate.
He'd probably pay $100,000 for acidic.
Hey, listen, I'm going to get rid of the five-year warranty.
I don't need it.
And I'll get rid of the oil tree oil changes.
And how about if I pay you a little bit more than you asked for?
That would be Barack Obama negotiating from that part.
That would be Barack Obama.
And, you know, after they passed that deal, millions of Americans without jobs, money, or any way to pay their bills were ecstatic that the economic catastrophe had been averted.
So here is Mike Barnacle talking about what's wrong with America.
But the problem, and you just articulated part of it, you know, the Democrats' focus was on this, the Republicans' focus was on that.
Something has happened within this country over the past 10 to 20 years or so, I think, especially with regards to employment and people working.
And it struck me yesterday, over the weekend, I came across the Sagamore Bridge, which connects Cape Cod to the mainland.
Finished, completed in 1935, 1936, WPA project.
Right.
Put people to work.
Yesterday, coming into Manhattan, you come across the Triborough, opened in 1935, 1936, completed with WPA workers, New Deal funds.
Something has happened in this country that the focus is no longer on the collective American good.
It's on individual party ideology, and it separates the good from what ought to be done from the reality of our politics.
Jobs is critical.
Listen, jobs are critical.
Yes, jobs are critical.
So, what he just described there was two WPA projects that were instituted under FDR and the New Deal that built bridges around New York City.
And he was saying some things happened where the parties just get stuck in their own ideology.
Yeah, well, I don't know if you understand, but what built those bridges was the ideology of the Democratic Party, built those bridges.
And the people who are against building those bridges are the Republican Party.
And what has happened since then is people like you, who are supposed to be informing people of the policies of the respective parties, pretend like they're both the same.
That's the problem, Mr. Barnacle.
But I thought the point of his story was that he vacations in Cape Cod.
I bet he has a nice house.
He's another out-of-touch media pundit who has a house in Cape Cod.
That's what it's.
I've never been to Cape Cod.
Pretty rich.
It's very nice.
I don't know if I've either, but I've heard that.
They make a nice potato chip.
I believe Chris Matthews owns a home there.
Oh, sure.
Okay.
As did Tim Russert.
And Jack Welch, the head of GE.
Oh, so I would say it's pretty uppercut.
Yeah, see there.
Sure.
So he's coming up.
I might be thinking of Nantucket, but I'm sure they're both very nice.
Yes.
Anything out in the UK?
God, I wish I was there right now.
But, Frank, isn't that the case, though?
I mean, that exactly what this pretty much is.
Right, it's this whole like, you know, false equivalency and let's go right down the center and not promote ideology that might accomplish the very things he's talking about.
It's just stunning to me that it happens over and over and over.
These people going, you know, why can't they?
They just want them to get along in Congress.
Nobody wants anybody to get, no one gives a crap if they get along, right?
It's always been my position.
No one cares how you get it done if you can ensure that I can go to college for a reasonable price.
I mean, Marnicle's point is that isn't it great that Roosevelt and Alf Landon came together on that and filtered.
I don't know who Alfredo did.
He ran against Roosevelt 36.
Oh, oh, okay.
Wow, Frank, why do you got to make me look dumb like that?
Did you know Alf Landon?
I thought he was that puppet.
That's what I love.
He was a puppet.
That's why he was defeated so resoundingly.
Yeah, he had a career comeback.
I loved Alf.
I don't know if you guys watched Alf, but he might have been from outer space, but he was near to my heart.
I'll tell you that.
I love that.
He had a vulnerability.
You couldn't get around.
It's like having my anyway.
And he was funny too.
He was funny.
Alf was funny.
Okay, that's what this show is about today, ladies and gentlemen.
Tangents?
Elf.
Can I do my Wendell Willkie chunk now?
He ran in 1940.
Again, Mike Barnacle says, the problem is Democrats focus on this, the Republicans focus on that.
And the focus is not on the common good, but the individual party aisle.
You know what the Democratic focus on this means?
Protecting Medicare, Social Security, and making sure that most vulnerable aren't among those asked to carry the financial burden of fixing our economy when the people who have made a killing off this rigged economy get a tax cut.
That's what this is for the Democrats.
But, you know, to portray the Democrats as not caving into special interests is not fair either.
It's not like they've stuck to their guns.
They completely caved in on the whole.
Well, Barack Obama is a big toady of Wall Street.
The biggest lobbyists of them all, one of the biggest is Tom Dashall, who Obama wanted in his administration, but I forget the reason why he couldn't do it, but he was.
Let me just say that you are correct, Paul, that the Democrats are just as big.
Well, there may not be just as big as sellouts, but they are right there.
They are guilty of being beholden to corporations.
And when I say, I'm talking about traditional Democratic values.
Gotcha.
And I'm, you know, but there aren't.
How long has it been since we saw those?
Probably about 30 years.
LBJ, when he instituted the Great Society.
I think that would be the last time, right?
When he stood up for civil rights and so did the Great Society.
And then, you know, he ramped, started a war on a false pretense.
I was right at heart.
He's perfect, Jimmy.
He started.
LBJ did start a war under false pretense, but luckily it never happened again.
We learned our lessons.
Yeah, we learned our lessons.
Kennedy got it.
Kennedy got it going.
Yeah, Kennedy started an LBJ escalated.
And, you know, Kennedy's supporters say that had he lived, he probably wouldn't have escalated.
But nobody knows that for sure.
That was a much smaller thing under Kennedy.
It was the Gulf of Tonkin where Johnson turned the corner on it and became a big thing.
So that was a Johnson thing.
Kennedy would have definitely escalated a hotter war, though.
One with much younger and bigger cans.
But so here is the president had to come out.
So after the debt ceiling, the whole deal went through.
They set up the super committee.
They sent out a guy to talk to the press.
His name is Sperling.
And he's the President Obama's economic advisor.
And he had this to say about the.
The president stood firm, never blinked, and this agreement represents that.
He also secured protection for Pell Grant, scholarships for college for 8 million students over the next two years.
Secondly, all of the things that were in the House Republican.
First of all, I love he starts off by stating all the things the president didn't give away, right?
He's like, hey, he didn't give away Pell Grants for the next two years.
He didn't give away Medicare and Medicare.
Hey, he didn't let the Republicans send thugs out to the streets roaming around beating people up.
He didn't allow that either.
I love how he started off, too.
The president didn't blink on this.
Are you kidding me?
They gave him seizure medication.
They thought he was blinking.
Last time I saw a cave in like that, they had to pull 35 Chilean miners on that.
Are you kidding me?
One inch.
In terms of voucherizing Medicare, the president didn't give an inch.
And the president made very clear that while he was willing to compromise, he was not willing to allow anyone to hold our economy or government hostage by using the threat of default.
And he said we had to have.
I don't know if you noticed.
That's exactly what happened, that they held us hostage with the threat of default.
That is exactly what happened.
And I just want you to know this guy, Gene Sperling, he earned over a quarter million dollars in 2008 while working at Wait, are you ready?
You guessed it, Goldman Sachs.
That's right.
And how did he manage to make a quarter of a million dollars working for a bank in 2008 in the middle of the who knows?
Who knows?
And he was also part of that WizKid team that dreamed up getting rid of Glassdeagle.
Yes, Gene Spurs.
This guy talking, Gene Sperling was one of those guys.
So he's from Goldman Sachs.
He was part of the team that got instituted the Graham Leach-Biley Act.
Wow, he's got to be the captain of Team Up the Economy, is he not?
Yeah.
If you listen to more of what he said, eventually he really started spinning things.
Okay.
We only got a few minutes, so let's play something fun.
Chris Christie.
Oh.
Yeah, let's do Chris Christie.
Chris Christie had, you know, he endorsed Mitt Romney.
Right.
So he's been back there.
He's been busted.
So when he first made the announcement, he came, he called into the show to let us know why he was backing him.
And here we go.
Jimmy has covered a Chris Christie of no jersey.
Listen, I assume you heard about my endorsement of Mitt Romney for president.
He's a very lucky man.
I am confident that anyone I put my weight behind will make it all the way to the White House.
I'll think of it.
Anyone I put my weight behind will make it all the way to Alpha Centauri.
Establish.
I strongly feel that Mitt Romney is the strongest and most electable candidate.
And thus I forgot that he endorsed me for governor of New Jersey back in 2009.
So where I come from, that's called paying back a favor.
Paying back favors is very important.
Ha!
Also, owing Mitt Romney a favor, and therefore endorsing him are my associates, Tony Bonini, Antonio Gonzalez Gondolino, Adamo Adolfo Manetti, Augusto Alzazzo Azolino Ronaldo, Basilo Ennio Enzanini.
You know him, right?
And my good friend Gondo LaBata Gambolino Alfonso and Dr. Albert Keeley Johnson.
Plus, and this is a boring, I back Mitt Romney because he's the only one who can beat that cowgirl, Rick Perry, from Texas.
The only state that's shaped like something that the rednecks that live there would beat their wives with.
And Perry and that Baptist pastor called Governor Romney's religion a cult.
That's unacceptable.
That's not a line.
You don't mix religion and politics.
Like Marsalawine and Vitello.
I'm a Roman Catholic.
If anyone calls my faith a cult, forget about it.
I believe that when a man who is not allowed to have sexual intercourse uses a magic spell over a certain kind of cracker, said snack literally becomes a body part of a first century Hebrew folk leader, and you're supposed to eat him.
That is not a cult, my friend.
That is a religion, and you should respect it.
We're all on board the Romney trade, understood.
And by we, I, of course, mean you.
Don't disappoint us.
Or I'll slap a toffini down your glove on so fast.
It'll buckle the round.
Wow.
Right now, we're going to take a break.
This is the Jimmy Doer show on Pacifica.
Hello, podcast listeners, your gorgeous sons of bitches.
Happy new year.
Hope you're enjoying this week's episode, our look back at 2011.
First of all, thanks to everybody who took advantage of the Pro Flowers promotions.
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So happy new year and thanks for supporting the Jimmy Door show.
And now here comes the second half of this week's episode.
Okay, we're back on the Jimmy Door show.
We're taking a look back at the second half of 2011.
We already covered the debt ceiling debate.
And that is, let's be honest, that is thrilling when we talk about that for a half hour.
And they talked about it for months and months and months.
We did talk about it for months last year.
But I think it really set up what's wrong with the country right now and what Occupy Wall Street really brought to the debate.
Like it stopped Barack Obalba from talking about the problem with the deficit.
It stopped, and they shifted the debate now towards talking about jobs.
I love the Republican field this year because it showed all the craziness in all the different colors.
It was very vibrant.
Herman Kane came out.
The Republican field was almost like a promotional calendar for the Mayan culture.
Oh, Paul, that's such a sweet joke because you're saying that the Mayans have said that we're going to all end, right?
That the end of the world is coming.
This is the year.
That's a smart joke, Paul.
So Herman Kane was, he got stuck because Rick Perry, who was at the time the leader, he was staying at a lodge or a summer home that was called N-Word Head, right?
So I can't say it, but Herman Kane can say it.
And so he called in to talk about the racism problems that were happening in the because he started to call them out.
When he found out about Rick Perry's place being called that, he said it was offensive.
It's the most offensive thing.
And then he called in and said this.
Jimmy Dore, it's Herman Kane.
Now that I'm the frontrunner for the GOP nomination, that's right, frontrunner, son.
I'd like to address the folks who say that I am insensitive to racism in our society.
That is ridiculous.
I'm just insensitive, period.
Race doesn't have anything to do with it.
But I'm very cognizant of the existence of racism.
For instance, when I said that the name of Rick Paris, Hunting Lodge, was racist, that was a very racist thing for me to say.
In this day and age, black folks have to be very careful not to fall into the traces trap of pointing out when white people are being racist.
When we call someone out for being racist, we are drawing attention to race.
And drawing attention to race can lead to racism.
Therefore, pointing out a person's racism is racist in and of itself.
And therefore, when a white man discriminates against a black man on the basis of the color of his skin, we should not let it degenerate into a question of race.
Unless it's Muslims we're talking about.
Then all bets are off because I hate those sneaky mothers.
And so he had a problem with the racism.
I can't believe how easily Rick Perry got past that, that he had a lodge that was called that word, how he moved on, but he did move on.
You know, they advertised for his lodge in Ron Paul's newsletter, too.
Full page.
You know what?
I'm going to take a moment here and just say that we did some jokes about Ron Paul at the top of the show last week because it was really coming to the fore about his newsletter.
And boy, oh boy, the Ron Paul followers really have a great sense of humor.
They really do.
You can't make fun of Ron Paul even a little bit.
You can't make fun.
It's funny how they.
I've gotten a ton of those people on my Facebook page and my Twitter feeds.
Yes.
Yeah.
Who just defend him?
They were like, how could you say that Herman Kane?
I mean, that Ron Paul said those things.
And I said, I never said he said those things.
Yes, he did.
And this guy on my Facebook put, you said it at 5.53 of your show or something like that.
And I was like, don't quote Jimmy.
Put the time.
So I went back and listened, and we were making a joke.
And the joke was, now you can't hold Herman Cain accountable for the stuff that was in the newsletters.
I mean, that was stuff he said back in the, that was stuff he said in his youth, you know, when he was in his 50s.
So that's a joke.
That's a joke.
He didn't even say it.
He wrote it, and he didn't even write it.
It was somebody else.
But my, so that was, I was just trying to make a joke, and I just, I just thought it was hilarious that this guy's going to hold my feet to the fire for a joke I told on the Jimmy Door show, but give a complete pass to the stuff that was written in the Ron Paul newsletter.
Ron Paul, not responsible for what's written in the Ron Paul newsletter, but a joke that I tell on the Jimmy Doer show, that's it.
It's all over with, right?
There could be no higher standard.
I can't be held accountable for what I put on my post-its.
I'd like to hold you accountable for that stuff because you do need milk.
The difference between, but it's funny because just the idea that there is passion for Ron Paul, because I've never had anyone, like if I made a Mitt Romney joke or a Newt Gingrich joke, no one has ever gone, how can you make fun of the one has any passion for those guys?
They don't care if you make jokes about it.
But Ron Paul, people do get upset over.
And the reason I think that is, is because a portion of Ron Paul's platform makes complete sense to a lot of people.
But a portion of it is really other people.
There's a portion, especially, well, I would say exclusively in his foreign policy that's the most sensible, rational anybody is saying, and is far to the left of Obama or any Democrat.
And so I think some people, Glenn Greenwald wrote a thing the other day that, you know, that Ron Paul deserved more respect for that than he's getting.
But the other stuff, though, is just too crazy.
The point I think Glenn Greenwald was making was that Barack Obama, people say that Ron Paul's ideas are crazy.
Right.
And that, well, Barack Obama has done things that are supposed to be crazy to liberals.
Right.
Yet they're not screaming.
Yeah.
The fact that he's now just signed this bill that will give us, the government can now put you in jail.
Hey, it's 2012 happy indefinite detention.
You know, you can go in for without a trial, which is he's using drones to kill innocent people, like in the bigger numbers than Bush ever dreamed of.
Well, they're not targeting innocent people.
It's collateral damage.
I'm not justifying it, but.
No, you're correct.
They are not technically targeting innocent people, but a lot of 100,000 people are dead in Iraq.
So you don't target them, but we all know what happens.
And then that's just crazy.
So, and then, of course, with Bradley Manning, Private Bradley Manning was what he's doing, and just what he's doing with the economy.
I mean, it's so Glenn Greenwald's point was.
The progressives won't criticize, a lot of progressives won't criticize Obama for that.
And also, Ron Paul, throughout the election, has really is looked on as a fringe candidate by the mainstream Republican, by Fox News.
They look at him as a crazy fringe guy, and meanwhile, giving great credit to all the other crazy fringe guys.
Yeah, they can't understand.
How are you not licking your chops to go to war with Iran?
How has that not got you excited?
Well, but despite his rationality on foreign policy, you can't not say stuff about what he put in those newsletters.
You can't say stuff about a lot of his domestic policies.
Well, he hasn't given a satisfactory explanation about those newsletters, and it's just such a glaring thing.
I mean, the stuff he said was extreme and it was racist, and you've really got to be, you really got to love him to find some rational explanation for why those things went out.
I would love to have him be our Secretary of State.
That would be.
Who, Ron Paul?
Yeah.
Or defense secretary.
I think he would be a great defense secretary.
I feel the pain of the Ron Paul supporter who feels like, oh, the only guy who's standing up to the military industrial complex is going to be now taken out of the race because of the.
Something in a newsletter.
Right.
Something in a newsletter.
And, you know, I feel that's a big loss, too.
I mean, that's what Glenn Gleenwald was saying, is that here's a guy who I say, I'll even go this far.
If it comes down to Barack Obama and Ron Paul, I'm voting for Ron Paul, even though obviously I'm not a racist.
I'm not a homophobe, but I'm not a sexist.
But I don't think he's going to be able to get any of those policies through.
You know what I mean?
He's not going to be able to.
Then why would he be able to get his foreign policies through?
Because there's enough people who agree with him on the left.
But not in the corridors of power.
I don't think he could get a Congress to go along with him to defund the wars, you know, in the same sense that he couldn't get his domestic agenda.
But maybe he could get a dialogue going that could bring the people who secretly agree with him but don't want to be labeled as crazy.
Well, this is because I believe there are people that feel that way, but don't want to be the lone person standing out there naked that don't have the balls of identity.
Well, it's the same thing that, I mean, we forget that no one in the mainstream media or in mainstream Democratic politics spoke out against the war in Iraq until John Murthy did.
Yes.
You know, before John Murthy came out against it, it was taboo.
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, nobody, Nobody criticized what we were doing.
And they gave Bush every cent that he asked for to fight the war.
So don't you think, Paul, that can't the president, like, no, the president kind of unilaterally ramps up the war in Afghanistan, and he seems to be unilaterally ending the Iraq war.
I mean, it seems like he can do these things.
I mean, I'm not, again, I'm not an expert on anything.
I'm a comedian with a show, but I'm pretty sure that if President Barack Obama wanted to end the Afghanistan war, he could.
Yeah, I think he could.
Well, you can start.
You can start the wars without the Congress.
You should be able to end them without them.
Exactly, right?
So this isn't even a war, right?
Just like Vietnam was a policing action, right?
So we haven't declared, when was the last time we declared war?
I don't even know.
Was it the war on Christmas, I think.
So just to clear this up, so we did not ever officially declare war on Iraq.
What we did was we had a joint resolution to authorize the use of United States Armed Forces against Iraq, passed in October 2002.
Okay, so no, we never even declared war on them.
So I think Ron Paul could, I think, and I don't think he's going to be able to repeal the Civil Rights Act.
I don't think people are going to go back and say, yeah, we could have separate but equal.
So that's what I'm, I mean, even.
He doesn't want that.
Well, he is against the civil rights legislation.
He actually was against that.
He's not for.
He's not for the idea of people being allowed to do with their private property what they want.
So if you want to only have whites, you can.
If it's your private property, that's Bron Paul's position.
And I think Ron Paul.
I'm not kidding about that, by the way.
Like, if it doesn't matter.
Do you really vote for Ron Paul?
I think I really would.
Really?
I will officially say no, I would vote for Obama over Ron Paul.
Well, I just got into another Facebook argument the other day with some more lefties, and it was that whole thing of that litany of, hey, Barack Obama, because he signed the bill, right, that authorized indefinite detention without a trial in the United States, which is great.
Shocking.
It's shocking for a right-wing crazy to sign a bill like that.
It's shocking.
Yet here is our liberal, progressive, Democratic president signing one of the most regressive bills I've ever so I got into.
Well, even if I made the argument, which I've made before, that Obama isn't a liberal progressive, he's always been what I've considered a moderate.
But even if I made that argument, that isn't a good argument against him signing, you know, like you said, even a right-winger or a moderate signing that law is crazy.
It's such a blatant disregard for the Constitution.
It's jaw-dropping.
It's like we were the one place where people could always point to as a great example of freedom and liberty and the rule of law.
It's like now if you go to the Playboy Mansion, you got to wear a burqa.
Also, disturbing is that he's talking about anyone who objects to this law, he's going to send to internment camps.
So it's really getting out of hand.
So Barack Obama, being a centrist Republican, neutralizes the left to organize for progressive policies.
Here's a post from Facebook from a lefty, and you'll see what I mean.
Sure, Barack Obama signed the bill that gave the government power to indefinitely detain U.S. citizens without a trial, but the mess that we're really in was caused by Bush, and no one can fix it in three years.
So no one holds him responsible for anything, especially implementing progressive policies.
So she's saying because of this, it's just crazy.
Well, then why did you click like for that?
Okay.
I do think we share in the responsibility.
Not necessarily the four of us at this table, but the portion of the American public that doesn't get involved in the portion of the American public, in other words, the American public.
Yeah.
Here is, so here's another guy.
So I'm not letting Obama off the hook for this.
He did sign it.
He is the president, even if he expressed some reservations.
Apparently he wrote an opinion.
The buck stops with him.
He had the weight of the option.
He had the weigh of the options and make his decisions.
Certainly he's already done plenty I don't agree with, but really, he's not the only person in government.
There is more going on than just him.
He isn't a king.
He doesn't have complete control.
Sometimes you need to see the whole picture, and then you need to lay the blame at the feet of the people who are actually responsible.
So the guy who sits at the tippy top of government, the most powerful man in the world, the guy who just signed the bill that authorizes indefinite, he's not responsible.
There's someone else with even more power than him that we don't know about.
This is the kind, this is what happens when Barack Obama's president.
That it splits the left, and that's the worst thing that we could do.
So I think if we had Ron Paul as the president, it would be easier to see these kind of arguments.
But you know what?
It's like your dissatisfaction with Obama is completely understandable, but Ron Paul is not the answer.
No.
Who is?
No, I don't think.
No one in the field right now.
But then realistically, what do you do come November?
But not Ron Paul either.
No.
Realistically, you vote for Obama.
No, I don't do it.
I can't believe that you guys can say that.
No, no.
I think you have to vote for Obama.
No.
You have to.
I'm not kidding about voting for Ron Paul.
I'll give you one more.
I'll give you one more example, right?
So here's this young late lefty, very strong lefty on Facebook, and she says this.
None of these jokers got into office without the voters' help.
And most of us voters are too damn lazy to find out what the agenda is before we put them into office.
I knew from reading about Obama what his policies were when I voted for him.
I realized I was voting for a centrist.
And in three years of conversations with other progressives, I now feel like the only American who votes with both eyes open.
So that's exactly she's so again, the reason why I don't like Barack Obama is not because I didn't read enough before he was president.
It wasn't because I didn't know he was a centrist.
It was like, oh, I knew he was a centrist, so I'm cool with him giving indefinite detention.
Because you knew that he was a centrist, you would be cool.
No, I'm upset with my president because he is implementing horrible policies.
Especially when one of his promises was to close down Guantanamo Bay.
Yes.
So that it's not because I didn't read enough.
It's not because I didn't know he was king.
It's not because of any of that or because there's other people with power.
It's because my president is backing horrible policies.
That's why I don't like him.
So the reason he's doing it, and this is not to justify it at all, but I feel that it's pure political calculation.
Yes.
He feels that politically he's outflanking the Republicans.
He's afraid of being seen as weak on the street.
But you would think that, you know, but he shouldn't give into that kind of, because you would think that after killing bin Laden, you know, that he would have to have the street credit.
He'd be right to say, okay, I did this, so I'll be, you know, so I don't have to sign this, and I can, and I'm still, you know, what is the point of killing Osama bin Laden if you can't use that to strengthen American values?
I think he's totally concerned about being seen from the right as being soft on.
This is the big Republican talk.
It makes it all, it doesn't make it any better.
It may even make it a more egregious thing.
But it's political calculation.
It's a political move on his part.
I don't think that he feels it in his heart.
I don't think that he will feel.
You know, people always talk about what people feel.
Like last night at MSNBC, they were talking, you know, Rick Santorum really feels these things in his heart.
Mitt Romney's a phony.
He doesn't really believe it.
But that ultimately doesn't really matter because if you believe really horrible things in your heart sincerely, you know, that doesn't make them any worse.
He sincerely thinks that gay should be discriminated against.
Yes, exactly.
And it's probably true, and that Mitt Romney is just pretending that he, although Mitt Romney will go ahead and discriminate against gay people if he's elected president, and Rick Santorum will, too.
One might really believe in his heart.
One, it's a political calculation.
It's the same thing with Obama.
His signing that is a political calculation and Bush signing it, maybe he would have really believed it, but it's the same effect either way.
I think we're still struggling with 9-11, and we have to realize that we're still in the shadow of 9-11 and then the sort of fascist things that Bush did.
We're still, I think Obama is the car, is still going in the wrong direction.
He's trying to slam the brakes on and turn around, but he's forced politically because he's a Democrat, because he's seen as a progressive.
You know, the Republicans can always beat a Democrat with that hammer of your soft on whatever the red menace is or the terrorism is.
And I think he's still scared of that.
He enjoys how a Dusenberg handles.
God, we have to stop making jokes that I don't get.
That was that big staff car that Hitler wrote around it.
Wasn't it Dusenberg?
I didn't know that.
I knew in general what your reference was.
I just want to say, I was going to say before, I think Ron Paul is a crackpot, and I think he's not a legitimate candidate.
I mean, Bachman was too.
But I mean, I think that Ron Paul is not a serious candidate.
I don't think you can seriously say I would vote for him, though.
He's not a nomination anyway.
I'm not kidding.
I was thinking the same thing yesterday, but I was driving thinking, oh, my God, there's a chance I might vote for Ron Paul.
If you're so upset with what you're doing, he's not going to be the nominee, so you're not going to vote for him.
If it comes down to Ron Paul wouldn't sign a bill that had indefinite detention, would he?
No.
No way.
No way.
Neither would Ralph Nader, but it still wouldn't mean you should vote for him.
I voted for Ralph Nader.
I know, I know.
I was just my point.
One sort of overarching point here that I think is very important and very important for liberals and Democrats to realize is that if the next president is Republican, you won't have a liberal decision on the Supreme Court for another 40 years.
Okay.
It's very important that Obama is re-elected because some people are going to die in the next four years.
And if you have a Republican, they're going to have right, you're going to have like a 7-2 split.
You're not going to have a liberal decision for 40 years.
All right.
I'm voting for Obama.
Well, you know what?
There was another big story last year.
So Rupert Murdoch, they got the hacking scandal.
We all know about that.
And so I wanted an objective reporting on the Murdoch scandal.
So of course I turned to Fox News News.
Because you couldn't get the New York Post.
Bill O'Reilly, Steve Docey, and the Wall Street Journal are so far up Rupert Murdoch's ass, they were able to hack into his colon.
And so here's a guy.
Here's a guy who they were brought on Fox News to talk about the scandal.
We've got some serious problems in this country right now.
We are teetering on default.
And what do they do?
They talk about this.
Can you believe they're talking about the biggest news empire being doing illegal hacking into Dead Girls' Phone?
I can't believe that they would do that.
Why would they talk about it?
Why would a journalist think that an important story?
Now, let's get back to the covering the Black Panthers and Shirley Shiraz.
And maybe we can wipe Acorn off this year.
So here's what the guy had to say.
Yeah, Bob Dylan Schneider.
Bob Dylan Schneider.
That was Dylan's real name.
Of the New York-based Dylan Schneider Group.
And he used to run one of the biggest PR firms in the country.
Okay, so you know you're going to get some straight talk.
Yeah.
Right?
Here's a guy head of a PR firm.
Lay it on me.
Give me the hard check.
He spins things with a folk guitar.
And if I'm not mistaken, Murdoch, who owns it, has apologized.
But for some reason, the public, the media, keeps going over this.
He apologized.
Sorry.
He apologized, people.
Come on.
That's the problem.
It's the media piling on.
That's the real problem.
He says more.
The piling on.
It's a little bit too much.
But I think the bigger issue is really hacking and how are we as a public going to protect ourselves and protect our privacy and deal with it.
From the network, I'm a guest now.
He makes it sound like hacking is like some virus that you can catch.
And Rupert Murdoch's company just caught this virus.
How can we protect ourselves from this hacking virus?
No, no, no.
You didn't care.
You are implementing it.
You guys invented it.
You implemented it.
And it's nice though that they could bring on a PR guy to let us know.
I thought the real victim here was, you know, the innocent people whose phone messages were hacking.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Like that child murder victim.
No, no.
The real victim, just as I suspected, were the poor people over at News Corp.
Right.
Okay, so he says some more.
And deal with it.
And I would also say, by the way, Citigroup, Great Bank, Bank of America, Great Bank.
Are they getting the same kind of attention for hacking that took place less than a year ago that News Corp is getting today?
Right.
And one of the other things.
Why don't they get the same amount of attention for something completely different?
Because it was done to them, right?
Yes.
People hacked into City Corp.
Citigroup wasn't hacking in other people.
Yes, this guy, as a true PR professional, he's confusing the issues.
You know, Bill O'Reilly got upset with us.
He called in about that.
Jimmy Dore, Joe Riley.
I hear you want me to talk about this Murdoch so-called scandal on my program.
You ask me, this whole situation is much ado about nothing.
That's a Shakespeare play.
I've read all of them.
Quite frankly, there are much more important and bigger media stories to cover.
Have you heard the real big news in broadcasting today?
Buckle up.
Time Warner added KBVO to its lineup in Austin, Texas.
That is an above-the-fold story, my friend.
Did you know about that?
Of course not.
You're only concerned with the politics of personal destruction.
And did you hear the other big media news today?
I have to apologize because the story's a little bigger than it was at first.
I guess I buried the lead.
But Charlie Sheen just signed a deal for a new situation.
Comedy.
His turbulent departure from two and a half men was the most widely covered news story of the year, as well as it should have been.
And now he's back at work?
Just another example of Hollywood secular progressives rewarding bad behavior.
And that is the type of story that Americans care about.
Not cell phone glitches half a world away.
But if you absolutely need to blame Rupert Murdoch for this news of the world mess, and I can't see how you would, how about having a little sympathy, Jimmy Dore, will you?
England populated Australia with nothing but convicts for 100 years.
Should it surprise anyone that they would eventually all breed towards one supercriminal mastermind who would make the world shudder with this massive, all-powerful syndicate of evil?
It's simple genetics, Jimmy Dore.
It was about to happen.
It's going to happen.
But either way, this is not a big news story.
Trust me, I'm a journalist.
Get your head straight to war.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly letting us know about the Rupert Murdoch hacking scandal.
And before we run out of time, you know, Rick Perry, it's been really a gift.
The Republican Party has been a gift to the comedians.
I mean, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Michelle Bachman, Herman Kane, 999.
I mean, it's you couldn't think up these characters.
But Rick Perry, when he finally announced that he was running, he called into the show with a particularly hilarious thing.
People like Michelle Bachman go around saying that God told them to run for president and do all this other stuff.
And Christians eat it up.
We just got to take her word on it.
We didn't hear that prayer in her bedroom next to that tickler of a husband or hers.
What if God told somebody to run for president and there were 70,000 witnesses to it?
I think you see where we're going, buddy.
It's going to be great, man.
Our people are talking to James Earl Jones to be the voice of God.
And if he can't do it, maybe David Paymer.
We're not sure yet.
Amy.
Great reference.
Center stage, praying.
Dear Jesus.
Yes, Richard.
Jesus, should I run for president?
Yes, Richard, you should.
And Jesus?
Yes, Richard.
If I run, should everybody vote for me?
Of course they should, Richard.
Because if you don't win, America will turn so far from the right path that me and my dad will be forced to come down there and destroy it.
And then I'll turn to the crowd and said, You heard him.
The scoreboard lights up Rick Perry 2012 with my new logo and everything.
Everybody cheers and screams, hallelujah.
My friends kiss my wife, grab some other ladies at the same time.
Boom!
President Perry, bitches, watch yourself.
Man, I wish you guys could be there and pray with us.
But I know you're all busy comedians writing jokes and talking about depression.
You know what?
I got an idea.
We could pray right now together.
A private prayer circle, like we do at my government offices.
Come on, boys.
Join hands.
All of you.
Jimmy, Frank, Paul, Robert, or if he's not there, that Jew guy.
Let's all bow our heads.
Dear Lord, forgive these four for their sins, namely the sin of being a bunch of liberal kids.
Prayer psyche are you in the Baltimore or Washington, D.C. area?
Guess what?
I'm coming to your town January 26, 27, and 28.
I'm going to be in Baltimore at Magoobi's Comedy Club.
That's right, Magoobi's Comedy Club in Baltimore this January 26, 27th and 8th.
So see you there.
Okay, that's our show.
And don't forget, if you missed any part of today's Jimmy Door show, it's always available as a podcast for free at iTunes, or you can listen to it at my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And you spell my last name, D-O-R-E.
And when you go to the website, you can do a lot of things.
You can listen to the program for free.
You can download the show for free.
You can comment on past episodes.
You can watch the videos of me from the Young Turk, some of my stand-up videos from Comedy Central.
There's lots of stuff to do at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And I want to take a moment to think at the top of the show, you heard the hilarious impression of Christopher Hitchens.
That was performed by the one and only James Adomian from jamesadomian.com.
The rest of the voices on today's show were performed by Mike McRae, the hilarious Mike McRae at mikemcray.com.
And that funny song at the top of the show, remember?
Remember the one about making mistakes?
That was done by the hilarious HenryPhillips at HenryPhillips.com.
And today's show was written by Frank Conniff, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasimura, Steph Samurano, and me.
And a big thank you to the two gentlemen who donate their time and talents to the Jimmy Door show.
Frank Pulaski over at Dreamtime Films takes the bits that we do on the show, puts video to them, and they are amazing.
He does a great job.
And whenever we have a problem with our Macintosh, who do we go to?
Sean James.
And you can go to him too.
How do you reach him?
You just email him at machelp at seanjames.com and you spell Sean S-H-A-U-N.
Okay, that's it for this week.
Thanks for listening.
We'll be back here next week.
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