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Sept. 24, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
55:49
20110924_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_9-22-11
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Jimmy Dorf, Barack Obama.
Did you see my campaign speech about taxing the rich?
Pretty inspiring, huh?
Yep, I'm telling you, I've had it with these fat cat millionaires and billionaires, and I'm going to throw the bums out the minute I get elected to office.
That's right.
On my first day in the White House, I'm going to make some changes that are really going to.
Oh, wait a minute.
I'm sorry.
I was reading from a speech I gave three years ago.
Look at some of the stuff I said.
Millionaires and billionaires must pay their fair share.
Hey, Jimmy, check this one out.
I will not sign a health care bill that does not include a public option.
If someone is...
If someone is threatening the right of workers to collectively bargain, I'll put on a soft shoe and go figure with them.
I'll set up.
I didn't do any of that shit.
But I'm going to go ahead and say it all again because people are stupid.
You know what they say?
Fool me once.
Shame on you.
Fool me twice.
I get re-elected, bitches.
I know the country is in the depression, Jimmy.
But for my base, I've been doing everything I can to make it a bipolar depression.
That way, you cannot afford to get treated for it.
Jimmy, my entire presidency has been based on the idea of hope.
And that is still true.
Because I really hope my Republican opponent sucks so bad, you'll just have to vote for me.
In 2008, my campaign slogan was changed we can believe in.
I was thinking of making my 2012 slogan, cave-ins we can believe in.
But I finally settled on a new slogan.
Barack Obama.
You're going to vote for him anyway, so just shut up.
Well, Jimmy, it's been about almost five minutes since I last compromised on something.
So I better get it going.
Get back to work.
Wait a minute.
Why is there a private chest fueled up and waiting for me?
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
I'm the freaking president.
I should put a string on my finger or something to remind me.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Thanks, Jimmy.
See you later.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
So sit back or sit up or keep driving.
Now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Hi, welcome to the show.
I am joined in studio from Cinematic Titanic and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you?
Jimmy.
Frank, you're back from Minneapolis.
I'm back from Minneapolis.
Great.
We got a haircut.
You're looking good.
It makes you look younger.
Oh, good.
Good.
So I look at 23.
That's right.
All right.
And we're over from the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
It's Paul, Gil Martin, A. Paul.
James Doerr.
And we are waiting on Robert Yasamura, who got the bad directions today from me.
So, because we are in Studio B today in Pasadena.
But before we get to what's coming up on today's show, I just have to give my condolences to Frank.
Frank, I know it's a hard week for you because you got passed over again by the MacArthur Foundation for your genius grant.
Right, right.
My only hope is if they start using the word genius sarcastically, then I might have a shot at it.
Frank, that's Frank Connoff TV's Frank.
And REM.
They announced today that they were breaking up, which shocked most people who thought they died years ago.
I was shocked they were still together.
I didn't know.
I didn't even know they were still alive.
I can't even keep up with the REMs.
The REMs, I tell you what, they cannot stand in the place where it's something.
And so what's going to come up on today's show?
Well, Ann Coulter is going to come up.
She's going to skewer Sarah Palin.
Yeah, apparently they're skewering Sarah Palin now.
That's okay to do it.
And let me just say about Ann Coulter.
She's the kind of person who makes me embarrassed to call myself a bulimic.
And here she is, and she thinks there are even more workers who don't deserve to make a living wage or have a retirement.
This is Jimmy Hoffa, president of the Teamsters.
They used to be truck drivers and pipe fitters.
Now he's representing public school teachers, kindergarten teachers, cafeteria worker.
Yes, hearing Hoffa stand up for teachers instead of truck drivers and pipe fitters really kills Ann Coulter's boner.
We're going to talk about that coming up.
Plus, real wages for workers have been stagnant for the past 40 years while corporations in the upper 2% are reaping windfall profits, leading some to acknowledge that there's a war on workers in America.
So we check in with the former vice president of General Motors and he says this about it.
Well, war on workers.
I mean, this is so, this is so silly.
Yes, it is silly.
It's ridiculous.
They won the war on workers during the Reagan era, and now this is more of a cleanup operation.
So we're going to check in with him.
That's coming up.
Plus, we got phone calls from Rick Perry, Bill O'Reilly, and you already heard Barack Obama.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Jimmy Dore Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, so it's the time for the Oh My God segment for today.
Now, I just want to, you guys remember back towards the first of the year when all those birds fell out of the sky in Kentucky, right?
And nobody knew why, so he turned on the news and the news guy was, it's because the birds got frightened and they flew into stuff.
That's what they said.
And I'm like, what frightened the birds?
Which sounded like a week.
Like, what frightened the birds?
Like, oh, it was New Year's Eve, so it was the fireworks.
So that was that, that's the official line.
I didn't know.
And then the next day, 100,000 fish died right near where those birds died, and they said it was because of a disease.
Oh, sure.
100,000 fish die from a disease at once all the time.
Sure, how many times have you been to the hospital?
Hey, everybody in D-Wing's dead.
Oh, really?
What happened?
They had a disease.
They had instant cancer.
Just add water.
And so, so I didn't know.
So I knew those excuses weren't right.
But thank God for Cindy Jacobs.
Cindy Jacobs, one of my favorite southern pastors.
She knows what killed those birds.
She knows what killed those fish.
You ready?
The Blackbirds fell to the ground in Bibi, Arkansas.
Well, the governor of Arkansas's name is Bibi.
And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called Don't Ask, Don't Tell by a former governor.
This was proposed, Bill Clinton.
And so, could there be a connection between this passage where Sid, and now that we had the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
It could be because we have said it's okay for people who commit these kind of acts to be recognized.
You know, in our military, for the first time in our history, there is a potential That there is something that actually happened in the land where 100,000 drumfish died, and also where these birds fell out of the air.
So I know it sounded convoluted.
She kind of talks around it a lot, but she's making the point that whenever something bad happens, it's the queers.
Yes, if you salute a queer, a bird will die.
And she really went round and round about it, too.
It's like, I'd hate to be her son and, you know, like her kid and ask her, hey, could you make me lunch, mommy?
Can you make me some spaghettios?
Well, the reason we don't have spaghettios is maybe there's a connection, right?
Because spaghettios are made by Chef Boy R.D. And your father, who once was a chef, and then he abandoned us for a 23-year-old methor.
So maybe that's why God is angry and you don't have lunch.
Well, there is some scientific roots in what she's saying because after Don't Ask, Don't Tell was passed, the birds started flying to Broadway for the winter.
Oh, Frank, nice.
You know, I think maybe those fish and those birds were killed by, you know, maybe Mercury.
You know, the same thing that's addling her gay-hating brain, what I would say.
But it never gets old, Paul.
It doesn't.
You knew half of the sentence into it.
Just the tone of her voice, you knew it wasn't going to be good.
You could just.
It's almost there.
There's like a half a brain functioning, almost like those kind of the polygamist wives where they've been so subjugated that there's just an airy quality to their speaking.
Yes.
You just know immediately there's no connection to reality or facts.
Well, I mean, the Stepford wife-ness.
Yes.
I think there's going to be some bad consequences for her because remember Falwell and Robertson said that gays and feminists caused 9-11.
Yes.
And you remember what happened to them?
Oh, wait, nothing happened to them.
There was no consequences whatsoever.
Zero.
Zero consequences.
Yeah.
So what God did, God was mad that we're letting gays serve in the military to go kill other people.
That's really upsetting God.
Yeah, like God isn't more concerned with the fact that we are killing each other.
He's more concerned with where the penis goes.
And why does he express it with birds dying?
Is that like a biblical thing that I'm missing out on?
So it's better actually for a bullet to enter a man's body than another penis.
So, you know, good points, Paul, by the way.
It's hilarious and poignant, but it just doesn't make any sense.
So God's interested in who serves in our military?
Yes.
Homosexuals serving in the military, Jimmy, takes the dignity out of killing.
Yes.
Yes, it does.
All right.
So I guess that's anything else to add to the.
What can you say?
I mean, it's.
I thought that God was mad at the gays, which is why he caused 9-11.
God was mad at the gays, which is why he caused the earthquakes.
God was mad at the gays, which is why he sent the hurricane to the East Coast.
Hold on.
He's not mad at the gays.
He's mad at the people who enable the gays.
Let's be clear about that.
Okay, so that's us.
It's us for being tolerant.
Yeah, it's the gay.
The gays are the demons.
It's the people who allow.
If there's one thing God hates, it's tolerance.
Yes.
Oh, it is.
He doesn't want gays running around our society.
He wants them where they belong in the Catholic Church.
Wow.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh, my God.
So Robert Yasimur is in studio, and he just brought us some news that they have not executed Troy Davis as of this time of recording.
We're recording Wednesday afternoon at 4.50 p.m. Pacific time.
So he has been delayed by 50 minutes.
They're waiting on the Supreme Court to make a decision, and it could be five minutes from now, and it could be seven days from now.
I thought waiting for my car to be done was aggravating.
I can't imagine the tension of waiting to find out.
Every time I'm in a Jiffy Lube, I'm waiting for a call from the governor.
I think you've got your politics mixed up, Frank.
No, they said your governor's broken.
And that your car went too fast and you blew a rod.
That's what happened.
You blew a rod, which will also get you in trouble with the conservative base.
Yeah, exactly.
Cannot blow a rod.
Okay, so now this is a clip I wanted to talk about last week, but we didn't get to it.
Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter, not Sarah Palin, Laura Ingram and Ann Coulter sat down to talk about.
Was that that new show, Two Broke Girls?
You know, the reason, here's why I don't like people like Laura Ingram and Sarah and all of them, right?
It's because anybody who has eyes and ears and an IQ of over 80 can tell that Sarah Palin is a limited lightweight with no skills or knowledge needed to be president, right?
She's just an empty slogan-airing vessel that turns off most Americans.
But say that out loud and the conservatives will brand you as an elitist socialist who wants to ruin the family and make people gay, right?
But get a load of what Laura Ingram and Ann Coulter said about Sarah Palin on Fox News just last week.
People, when I talked to them, they seemed to be desperate and hungry, more so than ever, for real substance beyond kind of the sloganeering and the bumper sticker stuff and Obama's driving the country down.
That's all good and that's all true.
She had to do more of that heavy lifting on the policy stuff, I think, to be taken seriously.
I just simply think she's not all that interested in it.
And I like Sarah Palin, but I don't think she seems all that interested in digging really, really deep on that stuff.
That's just my sense.
First of all, that's Laura.
That's completely fair.
Well, that's what we've been saying for four years.
And they've been calling us elitist socialist homosexuals.
She couldn't handle the job of being governor.
Why are we talking seriously about her running for presidency?
All of a sudden, so they've thought this stuff all along, but they just wouldn't get, you know, so evidently Sarah Palin fooled Laura Ingram all this time.
She just thought that Sarah was pretending to be the world's dumbest after-dinner speaker.
But in reality, it's just there's more.
Here's what Ann Coulter says about it.
Here's what Ann Coulter comes back with.
Oh, I agree, and I think she's terrific at what she does, but I tend to agree with you.
I got sick of it with Newt Gingrich, too.
You know, fisher cut bait here because you are ginning up this group of Americans who will not even consider anyone else.
You know, we used to all love Sarah Palin, conservatives like me, for her enemies.
I'm starting to dislike her because of her fans.
And she does get things wrong.
She wouldn't have to.
I think she's bright, but she doesn't, her good points do not seem to be in the direction of running for president.
And Anne or wished that just like Newt Gingrich, she'd just go ahead and run so we can get this over with.
Okay, so let me just make this statement.
Apparently, American politics is kind of like quantum physics in that when phenomenon reaches extreme circumstances, all rules break down.
All right, so evidently we've reached that narrow band of circumstances under which if Ann Coulter is talking, she's saying something accurate.
Okay.
Now, As far as I can remember, Ann has never criticized another fellow Republican publicly for anything other than being too liberal, right?
So, and too liberal for Ann Coulter tends to be like if you don't let a multinational corporation come into your house and force-feed you dioxin, then you're a liberal.
Well, things have gotten so extreme in Republican politics that Ann Coulter is actually breaking one of Ronald Reagan's cardinal rules, which is to never criticize a fellow Republican.
Although I think she broke one of those, I think she broke one of his rules just by being a woman who does things.
That could be breaking one of her routes.
So, this is my point.
I think her interpretation is Reagan meant never criticize another Republican who's a mammal.
Oh, okay.
And you're saying that Sarah Palin more of a reptile?
Possibly.
Possibly a reptile.
Well, let's play a little bit more of what they're talking about.
I think she's terrific at what she does.
Really?
What does she do?
Exactly.
That's the thing that's confusing me about this whole discussion: they're putting her down, and yet they're like, but we love what we like.
Why do they love her?
Like, why if she has no substance, why can't they just say that?
Why do they have to I guess because it's Fox News?
They have to preface it.
She's over.
Go ahead.
Oh, no, no, just they have to preface it.
Well, oh, I mean, she's great and everything, but what she does is she gets overpaid to be photographed while misspeaking.
Right.
Well, you know, watching them go after Sarah Palin, it's kind of like watching the murder of Paul Castellano.
You know, someone high in the Republican apparatus finally okay to hit on a made guy, right?
And these are the two shooters brought in from out of town to take care of our little problem.
And actually, Fox News's coverage of Sarah Palin doesn't bother me as much as CNN and other mainstream media outlets who she gets on a bus and drives somewhere, and they treat it like it's big news.
You know, she's not a candidate.
She's made no indication that she's a candidate for anything.
But still, they'll do repeated news stories about is she running or isn't she running?
Just because I guess it gets ratings or something, but it's really the media is really as responsible for Sarah Palin.
Do we need to FCC needs to do its job and begin taking broadcast licenses away from people that don't serve the public interest, which is what the licenses were granted?
You have to do some public service.
Well, if that happens, then the only thing left on TV will be Turner Classic Movies, which is fine with me.
Yeah, I mean, and if that happens, then we can, then the cow will jump over the moon.
And the Cubs, it's about time the Cubs win the World Series, too, isn't it?
Yeah.
Sarah Palin is really the Paris Hilton of professional politics.
She just like makes headlines just for showing up.
I actually saw a photo of it.
Without the substance of Paris.
Yeah, I mean, even Paris Hilton has kind of like got more going on.
And by the way, if there's a Sarah Palin sex tape, I would love to see it.
Oh, I would love to see it.
Oh, I am fine.
Yeah, I mean, I would love to see it, not in a Chardonford kind of a way, but like a sexy, hot, I'd like to see it.
Because I think she's good, just something about her that is very attractive to me.
I think that's I think it might be that she's sexy.
I actually saw a photograph of her surrounded by like firemen and sheriffs.
And I was like, they could be shirtless wearing bow ties, and that photo would make just as much sense.
She had to add the Ann Coulter had some more time.
We used to all love Sarah Palin, conservatives like me, for her enemies.
I'm starting to dislike her because of her fans.
And she does get things wrong.
She wouldn't have to.
I think she's bright, but she doesn't.
Her good points do not seem to be in the direction of running for president.
And Ann already wished that just like Newt Ingrid, she'd just go ahead and run so we can get this over with.
So what Ann Coulter just copped to was the fact that she will support anyone, no matter how terrible they are, if liberals hate them.
So that's what she was saying.
Well, that's what our government has done for the last 40 years: is if we have a common enemy, we're your friend, which is how we're talking about our foreign policy.
Yeah, Afghanistan is a perfect example of that.
And now we're in this quagmire where we've trained the Taliban to be these mujahideen, who then became the Taliban to be these rocket-firing killers that, yeah, they got the Russians out, but now they're shooting our helicopters.
It's like the old joke of, you know, these Taliban, they have all these rocket launchers and missiles and grenades.
How do you know they have that stuff?
Well, we looked at the receipt.
So it's that joke.
Yeah.
And by the way, we're doing that with Pakistan.
Yes, exactly.
When are we going to have some foresight?
When are our corporations and when is our government going to have some foresight and stop putting band-aids on things?
Oh, no, they had foresight.
They knew there were minerals in Afghanistan.
I don't know what you're complaining about.
Yes.
But what I'm saying is, is that Sarah Palin?
What is Pakistan?
Yes.
Of professional politics.
Okay, I like it.
We're going to find out what else she is like.
There's some more stuff today.
And Chris Christie, I know you like him a lot.
Uh-oh.
People.
Hold on.
Is Chris Christie?
I know you like him.
Is she talking to Ravioli?
He's a large man.
He is big.
He's a big person.
He's for the defense.
What is it?
He's the Defense of Marinera Act.
His mic is cutting out.
Do you hear that?
No, that's, you know what?
You're.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So, okay, so let's play.
There's another clip from these ladies.
And they seem to be desperate and hungry, more so than ever, for real substance beyond kind of the sloganeering and the bumper sticker stuff and Obama's driving the country down.
That's all good, and that's all true.
She had to do more of that heavy lifting on the policy stuff, I think, to be taken seriously.
I know who's hungry for more substance.
Chris Christie.
He's hungry for more substance.
So they're mad at her for being sloganeering with no actual depth of policy.
They're annoyed with her because she's offering nothing to the actual discussion and just angrying up a group of ignorant mouth breathers for no ultimate purpose other than winning power.
So what they're saying is they're angry at Sarah Palin because she's too Fox News for Fox News.
Can I say something that might indicate a little bit of a bad motive in what they're talking about is that they're not really just talking about a politician.
They're talking about one of their colleagues at Fox News.
They're talking about someone who is a commentator and who, by abandoning politics, as she's gradually doing, she's going to become more and more of a Fox News star.
So they're really dishing on a rival, kind of like when we talk about Whitney Cummings.
A similar situation.
It's just weird that Sarah Palin's too empty for the people who have, for the last 30 years, been emptying the American debate of actual content.
Oh, wait a minute.
We like it empty, but she's a little too empty for us.
Yeah, that's pretty bad when you are too empty for the American arena.
Yes.
Why is our media so curious about people that have no curiosity in them, who are so okay with the status quo and the way things are?
That's a great question.
Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, George W. Bush.
Well, the only reason Sarah Palin has been a story for the past two years is because the media has made her a story.
She hasn't done anything newsworthy, really, except kind of like when she made that blood libel speech.
That was kind of newsworthy, but that was her reacting to things.
She hasn't like proactively gone out and she hasn't hired anyone to start a campaign, and she hasn't dropped her Fox contract the way that Newt Gingrich did and Rick Santorum did.
So she's not running for president, and yet she's still treated as big news by the media.
And let me just remind people that you're listening to the Jimmy Door show on Pacifica, and you can get a podcast of this show.
If you missed any part of it, or if you'd like to hear some part of it again, you can get a podcast at iTunes for free.
That's right, of the Jimmy Door show.
And you can also go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You can listen to the shows there, download them for free, and you can comment on past episodes.
It's always fun to read your comments.
Okay.
And Door is spelled D-O-R-E.
That's right.
My last name is Door.
It's spelled D-O-R E. So when you Google me, you want to Google Jimmy D-O-Re, not D-Double O-R, because you know what happens.
Door for a GMC Jimmy.
That's right.
The passenger door for a GMC Jimmy comes up.
Now, we made fun of Bill O'Reilly last week, and he called back because his wife left him.
Has his wife officially left in the middle?
Well, she bought a house.
Oh, right.
I heard her.
Changed her voter.
Her voter registration, and she's sleeping with a policeman.
And so we make.
All decisions.
I applaud.
I applaud everything she's doing.
Excellent decision making on her.
And so here's Bill actually got mad.
So Bill drunk dialed me last week, and then he called back in this Jimmy Doors.
Bill Reilly.
Yeah, so my wife is sleeping around with a police officer.
Yeah, yeah.
I heard you making fun of my little situation on your show and asking why I'm having the police investigate one of their own instead of just divorcing her.
A little prolop.
Well, Bill O'Reilly doesn't get divorced.
Don't believe in it.
I don't believe in it.
I'm a Catholic.
When you want to dump your wife and you're Catholic, you get an annulment.
That's when your wife is such a huge whore that even Jesus agrees and he says it's okay to leave her and start banging other women half your age.
And that's it.
Just explain it all to Jesus and then make a cash donation to Father Flanagan's Retirement Fund.
And Presto, it's like your wife's dead.
Yeah, it's that good.
That's what an annulment is.
Did you know that?
No.
Because you don't know Jesus.
You, Jimmy, are a lapsed Catholic.
And I hope my wife gets a prolapsed vagina.
The annulment is just part of the beauty of being a Catholic.
It's like the last rites.
That's when you're dying, and a priest shows up, and you tell him you're sorry for all the stuff you did when you were alive.
And then he tells Jesus for you, and then they have to let you in heaven.
So it doesn't matter what you've done in your life as long as you have the last rights before you die.
No kidding.
You could do anything.
You could make millions spreading lies and misinformation for years and it doesn't matter.
You can raise, bait, obfuscate, and generally be an asshole 24-7, and it doesn't matter.
Last Rights takes care of all that in warm, heartfelt sorry.
And yes, it always works.
It's called a sacrament.
Look it up.
In fact, the only Catholics in hell are the ones who have, you know, Anvil suddenly fall on them or something before they confess to a podcast.
Unfortunately, my goddamn whorebag of a wife knows about these last rights, too.
Now, I want to make sure she burns to hell.
That's not going to happen if she can ask forgiveness on a deathbed for being a conscienceless slut basket.
Now, it's kind of hard in this day and age to find an anvil, let alone drop it on someone without getting caught.
But I got a better idea.
Just like I can strong on the Long Island Police Department, so I can also do with The Sieve New York.
I know all the priests around here.
I'll just make sure that when she dies, whoever is attending her purposely says one of the habricadabras wrong, so she technically isn't absolved of her sins.
And she dies, boom, straight to hell.
Sluts and holes department.
I got it all figured out, Jimmy.
Don't worry about me.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly.
He's really upset about his wife.
Really, it really, really hurt him, I think.
Okay, this is the Jimmy Dore show on Pacifica.
Hi, everybody.
This is the podcast listeners I'm talking to, our favorite listeners, the people who really know enough about this show to seek it out.
Well, first of all, you know that this show is made possible by the generous donations of our listeners and some not-so-generous donations.
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I know it sounds funny, but it really does help.
But right now, let's get back to the second half of today's show.
Hi, welcome back to the show.
Jimmy Door Show.
I am joined in studio by Robert Yasamura from Team Yasamura.
Hey, Robert.
How are you?
And from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com coming to a city near you.
Coming to New York City this Saturday.
This Saturday.
Stand by Theater on Broadway.
Oh, my God.
Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to grow up to play the best bike.
Frank will be at the Best Buy Theater this Saturday with Cinematic Titan on Broadway.
God bless.
And Paul Gilmartin from the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
His TV show got canceled last week, and we're all sad about it.
Yeah.
Okay, so it was dinner in a movie.
It was great.
17 years, a long run, Paul.
Most people don't get that.
They didn't give it a chance, Jimmy.
What's coming up on the rest of today's show?
We're going to talk more about Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram's takedown of Sarah Palin.
Then we're going to talk about Ann Coulter's hatred of the working teacher.
And then we're going to talk even more about the vice president of GM and his hatred of the workers.
Okay.
And then, plus, who's going to call in?
I think Rick Perry's.
That's right.
Rick Perry's going to call in this second.
That's right.
And right now, we were talking about Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram finally coming out and speaking the truth about Sarah Palin.
And it continued.
But she's become sort of the Obama of the Tea Party.
She's just the one to a certain segment of right-wingers.
And the tiniest criticism of her, I think many of your viewers may not know this.
No conservative on TV will criticize Palin because they don't want to deal with the hate mail.
You know, you say her voice is a few octaves too high, or perhaps Michelle Bachman's speaking voice is more modulated, and you will be inundated with enraged AILs and letters.
So, I mean, this is all just stunning to me to hear these.
This is an oh my God segment.
This could be an oh my god.
It is, absolutely.
They're saying things on Fox News about Sarah Palin that you would only hear on MSNBC before.
They would never say that stuff, and Brian Williams would never say that stuff.
And Joh Pelly on CBS or any, they would never say this in the mainstream media.
This is great.
This is, I applaud, let's get this on record.
I applaud Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram.
Yeah.
Yes, I will applaud them too.
I will not join in on another approach.
And they're upset.
I will just put one hand.
I will upset with her because if you disagree with Sarah Palin, her fans, no matter how correct you might be, they will attack you with letters.
Oh, how I weep for you guys.
Right, but this is the same network that has Michelle Malkin on who encourages people to send hate mail to people.
Well, that's yes, that's the whole thing.
This is Ann Coulter who writes books filled with hatred with them.
Filled with hatred and lies.
Right.
And like I said, there's something about it that just seems like it's personal with them, with Sarah Payload.
That they can't stand it.
They could say the same thing about so many other people who are running who are prominent Republicans.
That is true.
They could say it about.
Eight of them.
Yeah.
Eight out of the seven.
Vermin Kane.
If he criticizes pizza, suddenly you get all these hate mail.
So here's Ann Coulter.
We're going to move on.
The next day she was on Fox and Friends and Friends this morning and friends.
And here's what she had to say about.
So we're going to, the second half of the show, we're going to talk about this attack on workers, that people are angry at people who actually want to.
There used to be in America that there was a kind of a compact between the government and the people.
And the agreement was that if you were willing to work 40 hours a week, that you would be able to have a decent life and a retirement.
So the American dream, basically.
That was basically if you're willing to work 40 hours a week, you'll be able to have a family, have a house, raise a kid, and be able to retire.
And if you had a catastrophic illness, you wouldn't fall through the cracks.
Right.
That was the used to be the.
Any Western civilized country had that pact.
I don't know about other ones.
Then the American dream went back to you will become a billionaire overnight and everybody else can go screw the school.
Yes, that's what the American dream is now.
Win the lottery.
Yeah.
Or you sell some stock that quadruples overnight.
And that's the American.
You're right.
And the rest of everybody else, if you don't have yours, haha, I got mine.
Yeah, it's like the upper.001% have dangled this unreachable dream and everybody is stampeding, crushing each other to try to get to it.
Yeah, it's like the Walmart Midnight sale before right after Christmas.
Yeah, it's like.
So here's it.
Well, this is a good discussion, you guys.
So Ann Coulter, I just thought I'd point it out because usually it sucks.
All right.
So Ann Coulter.
So Ann Coulter had this to say about she's upset about teachers getting union representation.
Finishing is, this is Jimmy Hoffa, president of the Teamsters.
They used to be truck drivers and pipe fitters.
They're going to history.
Now he's representing public school teachers, kindergarten teachers, cafeteria worker, fighting for every last bit of their government pension.
What a pathetic downfall.
And moreover, how about a little of this talk back when the Teamsters supported drilling in Anwar?
You know, real jobs for real men as opposed to kindergarten teachers.
And they're not all fired up.
How about, you know, fighting for nuclear power plants being installed?
This just shows that is evidence of the decline of the nation that he's not even representing men who have actual jobs.
He's representing a bunch of useless public sector workers who doesn't want trade agreements passed.
What?
It gets better.
Are you kidding me?
It gets better.
I'm not thrilled about a potential amnesty for illegal immigrants.
Who wanted Anwar?
We all want Anwar.
We want gas pricing.
They want hundreds of thousands of jobs, or at least they used to.
That's the oldest.
I don't know if we can call kindergarten teachers useless, though.
I mean, I don't want to.
I don't want to say that.
I don't think they need to be government workers.
Okay, but I don't want to say the teachers are useless.
No, I will.
They are government workers.
Let's turn it over to private, to vouchers, to charter schools.
No, they fight for every last time.
They get summers off.
They're off at two, and they make more money than most of those pipe fitters who no longer have jobs.
Okay, so I can understand.
Can I take back my applaud?
Yes, that's from applauding.
So I can understand why Ann Coulter is against educating people because when you get educated, they end up voting Democrat.
That's usually what that's not.
That's not me being snarky.
That's verifiable.
Or they make enough money, they wind up being Republican.
Right.
It's one of the right.
You would think that maybe it's a 50-50 chance, right?
And, you know, you've got to get rid of those teachers, those free riders, those freeloaders.
They quit by 2 o'clock.
They're off by 2.
First of all, I don't know of any school that gets off at 2 o'clock.
Second of all, yeah, they get off at 2 o'clock, and then they can go home and do anything they want after they grade 300 term papers.
Anything they want.
As soon as you're done grading 300 term papers, you can go do anything you want every day.
Okay.
And forget the fact that they've spent seven hours around eight-year-olds.
Right.
Right.
Yes.
The human body probably couldn't take much longer than that.
And we're not talking 28-year-olds.
Now we're talking 35 to 40 eight-year-olds because they're firing teachers, which means higher class sizes, right?
So now your kid's getting a worse education, and that's exactly what they want.
Right.
And by the way, and unlike a parent, there's a fresh crop coming in tomorrow.
Right.
It's not like your kids eventually grow up.
Like, you get a reprieve in a couple of years.
Like, when they become self-entertaining, she just gets more children, you know, that teachers.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, it's.
And plus, she said, oh, they're government workers.
Like, the fact that they're government workers makes them useless in society.
I mean, that's just unbelievable.
Yes, if you are a government worker, so that's a fire man.
So she's saying.
Aren't military people government workers?
She's saying there should be no public school.
Yes.
That government should not, that you should pay to go to school.
And if you're poor, then, you know, then don't go to school.
And that's going to be great for the crime rate, too.
If kids can't go to school because they're poor.
I don't understand.
If poor kids don't go to school, what, they end up in prison?
What are you crazy?
Don't they all just get jobs?
What I really like is that she almost overtly states the Republican ethos of like men are men.
Right.
And everybody else blows.
Like, you know, who are real men?
Pipe fitters.
And look, those guys are manly men, but that doesn't mean you get to dismiss everybody else.
Right.
You know, like, there's, it's that whole ethos of like, like, Obama, he's a college professor.
Like, you know, that whole like.
That makes him less than a man.
That's a very ann Coulter.
Also, it's a very Maureen Dowd view of the world.
You know, that certain workers don't.
Certain people are not manly enough.
But I think it's not, I think it flows throughout the Republican ethos that, you know, really going back to the Nixon administration, they painted the Democrats as weak, as effeminate, as not like because they weren't happy pulling the trigger on going to war.
And then the Democrats lived up to that expectation.
Fair enough.
But she's saying that a guy who goes in and teaches at school all day long and then goes home afterwards and grades papers and does all that, puts all that effort in to maybe help people along, maybe help younger people in their path in life, that there's something unmanly about that and it shouldn't be respectful.
And it's so funny.
If you think about whenever they interview somebody who's been really successful or really contributed to society, they almost always thank some teacher in their life that gave them the confidence to pursue their dreams.
Well, this whole idea that there's something bad about teachers, this is like from the last year or so, right?
This is from like when the Wisconsin used to be such an overt used to be the, and people, what Ann Colja said about they get to go home at three, people were saying that on Fox News, like as all that Wisconsin stuff was happening.
So this is a brand new thing of their introducing into our culture.
We all have to hate teachers.
Here's why.
Here's why I think because everybody finally copped the fact that there's a serious education problem in this country.
And then all of a sudden the waiting for Superman type people who say vouchers and charter schools are the secret gave them carte blanche.
They give them permission to say this stuff, even though it's nonsense.
I mean, it's complete nonsense, but they now feel like they have permission.
Private school teachers go home at 3-2 and goof off all the time, but she's saying that's okay.
But she's basically saying all teachers, if you want to live a lazy, free-loading, carefree life, become a teacher.
That's what she's saying.
Maybe she doesn't understand that you don't have to work an 18-hour day if you don't have to compile lies into a novel.
That is Paul Gilmartin, ladies and gentlemen.
And I want to remind everybody: if you love to hear hilarious stuff like that or some of the phone calls again, you can always listen to this show as a podcast for free at iTunes or at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You can listen to the show for free there.
You can download it there and you can comment on old episodes.
There's also a link.
There's also a link to the show to the left, right, and ridiculous comedy show we're doing as a KPFK fundraiser this Friday, September 23rd, 8 p.m. at Meltdown Comics, the Nerd Melt Theater inside Meltdown Comics.
Where is that?
It's at 7522 Sunset Boulevard.
That's like Sunset and Gardner.
So go in there Friday night.
It's a fundraiser for KPFK.
It's the funniest show ever in Los Angeles, is what it's been called by me.
And it's also been the LA Weekly's pick of the week called Completely Offensive and Very Funny.
So that's this Friday and right now.
At what time?
It's 8 p.m.
This Friday, left, right, and ridiculous, 7522 Sunset Boulevard.
There's a link at kpfk.org.
If you go to kpfk.org, right on the front on the front page there, they have a little where they have all the big happenings happening that the left, right, and ridiculous show is one of them.
You click on it, it takes you right to the tickets are very affordable.
And right now, I want to let you know, just for being a listener to this show and enjoying news given to you in a humorous way, I'm going to give you away five free pairs of tickets to see that show.
You call in right now at 818-985-KPFK, 818-985-5735.
We're going to give away five pairs of tickets to see left, right, and ridiculous.
Okay, now how about a funny phone call?
How about that?
Hey, Jimmy, this is Rick Perry.
Now, apparently, I've been offending your listeners by my off-color and insensitive comments recently on your show.
Now, frankly, I don't see why it should be my problem.
These are your voicemails.
I'm calling you on the phone, and then you play them on your show.
That's on you, coachies.
But whatever.
I'll play ball.
Lord knows we wouldn't want to upset any of the crunchy hippies who listen to your show.
Oh, I'm sorry, Vermont Americans.
I'll try to make this one nice and gentle.
Jimmy, have you seen the polls?
It really looks as if I might actually lock up this nomination.
That's why I'm actually not trying to make this an accurate impression.
Let's be honest.
Past couple weeks, it's been kind of slab-ash.
Either way, it's still better than whatever it's going to do it on Saturday Night Live.
Anyway, I've been trying to do more presidential type stuff lately.
A few days ago, I came out as a strong supporter of Israel.
That's right.
I pronounced the Christmas carolway because I'm a Christian.
And as a devout Christian, I am, as I said recently, directed to support Israel at all costs, including the stability and integrity of our foreign policy.
During the flotilla raid last year, where aid workers were trying to bring humanitarian supplies to the West Bank, Israeli defense forces shot and killed an unarmed American citizen, and we did nothing.
Our vice president called it, quote, no big deal.
Now, that's when you know one country truly loves another one.
You can kill us, and that's cool.
You just keep being you, baby, and keep that donor money coming in.
I wish Obama shared that love for Israel, but he doesn't.
He's an enemy of the Jewish state.
Granted, Obama will be vetoing Palestine's upcoming bid for nationhood at the UN, a position that places the United States squarely alone on the planet.
But that's not enough.
It's Obama's fault that there are even any Palestinians left alive to make that bid.
You see, God wants Israel where it is and have its full borders.
The Palestinians are resisting this, which makes them the enemy of God by virtue of the fact that they were living there in 1948.
In a way, they should be honored that they have been so chosen.
And how do we deal with the enemies of God?
Perhaps we can learn from the first time the Hebrews took the Holy Land.
Book of Joshua, chapter 10, verse 31.
And Joshua passed on from Libna and all Israel with him to Lakish and laid siege to it and assaulted it.
And the Lord gave Lakish into the hand of Israel.
And he took it on the second day and smote it with the edge of the sword and every person in it as he had done to Libna.
I think you understand how religious people feel about the Palestinians now.
All right.
Now, see, Jamie, no one could be offended by today's message.
Even ended with a nice piece of scripture.
Okay.
Wow, Rick Perry getting heavy.
Rick Perry getting down, reading some Bible.
I didn't know that was in the Bible.
I didn't even know the.
Can I ask a question?
Why is Israel's taking of land never talked about as a kind of violence?
Because they have a lot of sway in the American political theater, right?
That's why.
Because there aren't any Palestinians that vote in America.
And there's a lot of Jewish people who vote in America.
Well, it's only 2% of the population.
But they vote.
Yes.
They're sway and their funding of people's campaigns.
Right.
So that's why.
AIPAC has leveraged their position really substantially, where they've taken a small well, what they've done is also they've leveraged it to the point where they don't even want a robust conversation like you would have in Israel.
In Israel, you would have a robust conversation about these very things, and people would be allowed to say things without being criticized as being an anti-Semite.
But it's considered the third rail, I think, in our political system.
Boy, we're getting more and more third rails in this system.
There are more and more things you cannot talk about without getting thrown out of this by somebody.
I've been a third rail many times.
No, that's third wheel.
Sorry.
Well, it used to be, yeah, it used to be that, well, now it's used to be stuff like cutting Medicare and Social Security were the third rail.
Now it's speaking about science and evolution is the third rail.
Or taxes.
Or taxing millionaires.
I mean, there are people who are targeting Boehner right now because he even hinted he would be open to a discussion about taxes.
I mean, that's how crazy things have gotten.
Things have gotten crazy.
Although, you know, 20 years ago, Rick Perry was a Democrat.
Those must have been crazy times.
What were those like?
He was working with Al Gore.
Yeah, I bet.
Come on, watch yourself.
You know what?
There is a great organization called J Street that is pushing for a two-state peaceful solution to what's happening in Israel and the Palestinian territories, and they make a lot of sense.
And they believe that you should not have to check your Democratic values at the door when it comes to Israel.
Because unfortunately, I think that's what happened.
The majority of Jewish Americans are Democratic voters, but for some reason, when it comes to Israel, they're willing to sacrifice their values and allow human rights violations to happen.
Now, that's not to say that the Palestinians aren't their own worst enemies and haven't been their own worst enemies for 40 years.
They've screwed it up as much as anybody else.
And they're other people's worst enemies, too.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, to be fair, though, in both Israel and the Palestinian region, it's the minority.
The vast majority of people, both Israeli and Palestinian.
Want peace.
They want to go to work and hang out with their family.
They don't want any of this nonsense.
They're not the people blowing stuff.
Now, J Street, is that near Fairfax and Beverly?
Where is J Street?
That's where you live all the time.
Let me tell you.
And I'm telling you, it is a great.
Ripa J Street.
Hello.
It's a great organization.
It really is.
I can understand some people's attitude towards Israel only in the sense that I refuse to recognize Carlos Mancina's right to exist.
You didn't even pronounce his name right.
Mancina?
Sure.
We have to shift gears, fellas.
Only a few minutes left in the show.
And listen, you know, we're going to talk about the interview With the vice president from GM.
And, you know, I'm no car guy.
For all I know, my car might be powered by a tiny magical reindeer or a dinosaur who every time I open the hood says, it's a living.
Okay.
That being said, I've always wondered why General Motors have never managed in 30 years to build a good, reliable, fuel-efficient car.
Well, meet Bob Lutz, ladies and gentlemen, former vice president, vice chairman of General Motors and an international nitwit.
Okay, if this guy's an example of leadership at GM, it's a miracle they make cars at all.
Because I wouldn't trust Bob Lutz with my lunch order, and here's why.
You ready?
They were talking about the war on workers and how workers are being left behind in this economy while corporate profits are surging and Wall Street's been made whole again.
And so they're talking about why is there this war on workers?
And here's his response.
Well, war on workers.
I mean, this is so silly.
And any enterprise that wants to make money in a private enterprise system has to have workers.
It has to take good care of them.
Yeah, yeah, it has to take good care.
Anybody who wants to have a free, sure, you have to take care of your workers.
Until you get somebody else retrained so you can fire that first person, which has been the bike drone.
In another country, give them 10 cents an hour.
That's taking care of them.
Yeah, yes.
So when he says by take care of them, he means outsource their jobs, leave them penniless, and then cut their unemployment.
Is that what he means by that?
I think so.
I think that's what he says take care.
If you want to, I mean, look at Walmart.
They couldn't have Walmarts unless they really took care of their employees.
How do you get to be the number one retailer in America by taking care of your employees?
And Americans contribute to it by continuing to buy products that were made overseas.
It's difficult to buy products that are made here, but you can do it.
You know, Paul, when you're talking about someone who works at Walmart and asking them not to shop there, I mean, most of the, you know, like the people who in a rural area, yes, it would probably be impossible.
They've screwed people until that's the only place they can afford to, you know, if you have kids, we don't have kids, right?
So if they have, if you have kids, I understand they're expensive.
Right.
And you have to buy stuff for them all the time.
So I agree with your point that if Americans stop buying foreign stuff, but I'm thinking that it's impractical to think that that's going to happen.
So let's listen a little bit more what he has to say.
Like this guy was the vice chairman of GM.
He comes on with a straight face and says, you can't have a company unless you take care of your workers.
Oh, by the way, he's a superstar.
He was also at Ford and Chrysler.
He's considered like one of the great automotive executives of all time.
Okay, so we got to get to more what he has to say then.
Okay.
It has to give them enough money to win.
But they don't have any American workers.
I mean, they can import these jobs out of this country.
I mean, they have to have workers to get their products out, but they don't have to be American workers.
Well, one of the things that caused so many jobs to wander outside the United States is that wages and benefits in the United States were prohibitively high compared to other countries.
That has been somewhat reduced by major bankruptcies or Chapter 11 cleansings like General Motors and Chrysler.
Yeah, see, we got rid of the high wage of the American worker by a bankruptcy cleansing, which also had the benefit of cleansing my conscience.
Yeah, whenever we go into a bankruptcy, I have no conscience about what happens to our workers, our country, their pensions, their families, their kids.
Go ahead.
Do you know what he was going with that first part of his thing?
He was going to the Henry Fordism, which is you have to pay your workers enough to buy the products they're making.
Right.
And then he immediately contradicts it.
He says, until it stops being efficient.
Until it's not useful.
Right.
Until we can get people to do their job cheaper overseas, and then we call it a bankruptcy cleansing.
And then he says, the high wage of American worker is what made those jobs wander.
The job was wandering.
He wasn't an executive.
I wasn't going to get over there.
Well, yes, I have to agree.
A small part of that, I think, is true is the unions did become bloated and they did become entitled.
And they did make it difficult for GM to compete on a national stage.
But GM was also, had no foresight as to the fact that gas was going to be $4 a gallon.
Everybody could see that gas was going to eventually be $4 a gallon.
I know a lot of when I would go through the Midwest as a comedian, I would meet a lot of auto workers and none of them seemed like they were being overpaid.
So someone makes the point.
He just said that we got rid of the high wage of the American worker.
What she's really saying, we have to lower everyone's standard of living.
Right, right.
Which contradicts what he said originally.
We have to take care of our workers by lowering their standard of living.
So this woman says to him, what about the workers are going to get paid too much money?
What about the CEOs?
And what are the CEOs making?
Why don't we do that comparison?
I think...
I don't know exactly what he makes, but I will tell you it's very modest.
I know it's under $2 million.
Wow.
He just said, I know it's very modest.
It's under $2 million.
It's under $2 million.
So, Governor Christie, I appreciate you taking time out to talk with us today.
How are things?
Yeah, whatever.
Good.
Okay, now, I was wondering how I'm trying to get some Republicans' reaction.
How are you coming down on the president's proposal to actually let the Bush tax cuts expire and just go back to the rates that they were in the 90s?
Well, you just, you mean taxing the millionaires?
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Well, no, we don't want to do that, Jimmy, at all.
Why?
You see, the millionaires are job creators.
Don't tax them because then they won't create jobs.
You got to have money to create jobs.
Yeah, but they already have.
Well, see, my point is that when the tax rates were higher under Clinton, the job creators didn't seem to mind then.
They created millions and millions of jobs.
Nah, nah.
Nah.
I don't need you busting my fucking stagats with this class warfare crap.
I don't know.
Why do you keep saying class warfare?
Well, this is a big deal, but here we go.
Well, you ask the people with all the money to give some of it out for the country.
That's class welfare.
I don't understand what it's so hard to understand about that.
Well, what do you call it when at the same time you're cutting taxes for the wealthy that you're cutting money for women, children, and the elderly?
What do you call that?
I call it responsible deficit reduction.
Okay, we're up against the clock.
We've got to cut Governor Chris Christie up.
We'll get to him next week.
And before we say goodbyes, I want to let you remind you tomorrow night, Friday night, 8 p.m., the Nerd Melt Theater.
It's the left, right, and ridiculous show, the funniest show in Los Angeles.
Link at the front page of the KPFK.org.
Go there for a link for tickets.
Very affordable.
Okay, today's show produced by Ali Lexa.
It was written by Robert Yasimura, Steve Rosenfield, Mike McRae, Steph Samorano, and TV's Frank Conniff.
Today's show is available as a podcast for free at iTunes or at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
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