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Aug. 20, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
58:35
20110820_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_Aug_18_2011
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Time Text
Yes, this is Christopher Hitchens.
I would be remiss for not to express a certain gratitude to Jimmy Dore for inviting me on his program, though I believe he does present an evil more pernicious than that of Mother Teresa.
Music.
It's the Jimmy Dore show.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say it's hard to talk to Key Doggy.
So sit back or sit up or keep driving.
Now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's show.
This week, I'm on vacation.
That's right.
It's August.
It's vacation time.
So what did we do?
We put together a special best of, and it's the best of all our favorite Oh My God segments.
So if you are into the ogma, it's everyone's favorite segment, I think.
So here we're going to put together from the last couple of months all our favorite Oh my God segments, and that's our show this week.
But we'll be back next week with a brand new show.
But enjoy this week's.
It's all funny.
It's all this is all the frosting.
Okay, here's our first Oh my God segment from a few months ago.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, so we have three clips to play in today's Oh My God segment.
Delicious.
We're going to start with the real reason Donald Trump didn't run.
Okay.
And let me just set this up by saying, did you ever know somebody with a personality disorder, you know, like someone with a borderline personality or even a full-blown sociopath?
Sure, you have.
You've probably dated one or worked for one or one was your mother during menopause.
One of my personal favorite things is what sociopaths do is manipulate a situation to make it seem like they are the victim.
And then a few weeks later, you're like, wait, she cheated on me.
Why do I feel sorry for her?
Well, keep that in mind as you listen to this next clip from Fox and Friends as they explain why Donald Trump really got out of the presidential race.
So mainstream.
Because you went after him with the long knife.
The press suddenly he represented a threat to perhaps Barack Obama and the mainstream media went right.
Correspondents did it where the president attacked him for about a half hour.
Seth Myers attacked him for about a half hour.
SNL attacked him.
The Daily Show attacked him on a regular basis.
Every late night show was attacking him.
Every other network was attacking him.
And then the capture of Bin Laden.
He didn't have a chance to really answer because he was on the news.
Oh my.
Truly, that is.
Wow.
Good times.
That's right.
Donald Trump is a victim.
And believe me, the Donald was a serious political candidate with a comb over.
He had a hit reality television show, an almost laughable sense of public policy.
You could feel it.
This was the guy.
Yeah, I get the feeling that Fox and Friends would characterize David Berkowitz as a mislabeled dog lover.
He's a person of gun owner.
He's not a dog whisperer.
He's whispered to by dogs.
I mean, according to Fox and Friends, Donald Trump was, you know, it was like he was Bobby Kennedy just taken from his two swords.
We expect a lot from the leaders of our nation, but no one would expect them to be able to sit and listen to a comedian tell jokes about them.
No.
Oh, no, not at all.
That kind of pressure is unfair.
Unbelievable.
And did you catch how he said the mainstream media went after him with long knives?
Which that's a reference to the night when Hitler assassinated all his political enemies in the Nazi party.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So it's pretty apt an apology.
I mean, it's a good analogy, you know, Hitler killing his enemies or, you know, criticizing and mocking your political enemies.
Those are pretty close to the same thing.
Sure.
Okay.
The mock is mightier than the sword, Jimmy.
It's like they're upset at the liberal media.
Oh, you've been.
Oh, that's it.
We've had it with you, liberal media.
Enough of you questioning public statements made by people who intentionally put themselves in the limelight.
And I love at the end how they say that, and then Donald Trump couldn't get in the news cycle because the U.S. military killed Osama bin Laden.
No, that was so insensitive of the military to Bill Bin Laden.
I mean, Barack Obama was just, he was just doing that to torment Donald Trump.
And he might have just, he might, it's like he raped him twice.
It really is.
First the jokes, then the killing of an enemy.
And don't forget, it preempted a celebrity apprentice, too.
So I was like, yeah.
It wasn't.
Oh, I didn't even know that.
Yes, it did.
Yes, it did.
I think the Hague has got a new case.
I like how they say, oh, maybe Obama started to get afraid of Donald Trump.
Yes, because Barack Obama is uncomfortable when he beats someone by 50 points.
That's what he was getting afraid of.
I do feel bad that the one thing about them getting mainland that I do feel bad, if it did make Trump not run, I do feel bad about that.
It would have been fun to have it run.
I so wish he was.
You know, we're still waiting to hear about those incredible results.
His investigators in Hawaii.
I still was waiting for people to interview him about that.
I was looking forward to him going to OPEC and saying, guys, you've had your fun.
Now it's over.
Yeah, I want him to swear.
I wanted him to swear at China.
I was waiting for him to say MF to China and to Saudi Arabia.
Hey, we want your effing oil.
Anyway, I think Fox and Friends, that's the type of show that thinks that maybe they should cover the Harlem Globetrotter Washington General game.
I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding.
You have people now down there searching.
I mean, in Hawaii.
Absolutely.
And they cannot believe what they're finding.
Yeah, they can't believe what they're finding.
They found his birth certificate and they can't believe that I won't shut my mouth.
That's what he's really saying.
They cannot believe.
It's there exactly how he said it.
They've certified it and they can't believe that I'm running around like a maniac.
Okay.
I think that's what he meant.
Okay, so here's the second part of the oh my God segment for today.
Now Arnold Schwarzenegger, so so he's a right-wing guy who fathered a child outside of marriage.
He had the mother of that child live in his house, worked there every day side by side with it.
He's pregnant at the same time his own wife was pregnant.
Wow.
That's cool.
Wasn't that Mickey and Maude, the Dudley Moore movie?
Remember that?
Yes.
He had got two women pregnant at the same time.
Oh, really?
Is that what they think about?
Oh, that's right.
I did.
Okay.
Wow.
Good poll.
And that was like he didn't, you know, I think Schwarzenegger must have wanted that part or something.
Fine line between art and reality, right?
So here's what, so I've got a clip of him talking about the importance.
Well, you'll just, this is just listen.
This is all a lack of parenting.
If the parents would do, like in like I did, the homework with the kids and work with the kids and read with the kids and do those things with the kids, it would be a whole different bulk.
So, except for that one kid, except for that kid, except for my one kid, who I've denied for 14 years so I could become governor.
Can you imagine?
He really did.
He has a kid.
The kid's out there.
The kid doesn't know who his father is.
He doesn't let his own kid know he's his father so he can be governor.
Right.
And then he rants against single moms.
And then he rants against the problem with the they got to do what I and then he's got he had created a single and he vetoed gay marriage twice too.
Oh, did he really?
I can't believe he did.
Yes.
He eventually reversed himself.
And then I think when the political tide turned, he supported it for that.
But what parents really need to do is all a lack of parenting.
If the parents would do like in like I did, and then you know, father a kid outside of marriage and then deny him for 14 years so you could get some personal power and then end your marriage immediately after getting out in politics.
If they would just do like I did, things would be good.
And also, when I think he was mad too that when people have kids, they don't spend tons of money keeping the mothers quiet and buying them a house and keeping them out of the way.
Yes, that is true.
Yeah.
That shows parental responsibility.
And the dads today don't do that.
No.
That's what that's.
I mean, he's setting an example.
When you do, you bang your maid in your wife's bed and you impregnate her.
What you do is you set her up with a nice little house in Bakersfield, and that's what Jesus would do.
A lot of people are so irresponsible, they'll only have one child with one woman at a time.
They don't care about selfish.
That'd be the worst selfish.
Very selfish.
You know, speaking, Arnold actually called me.
Hello, Jimmy Duard.
This is Alice Warsive.
Yeah.
This is the way everyone talks about my history of growing women.
I've been very upfront about my history of grubbing women.
I've admitted.
But one time.
10 years ago.
I grow the lady so hard that it's made of baby.
It was a miracle.
I am discovering new ways of making human life.
That should be destroyed.
Nobody's talking about it.
Goodbye.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
laughter Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Very articulate.
Very articulate.
I have heard that message before, and it gets better.
It gets better every time you hear it.
Actually, I'm going to play that one more time for people.
I want them to hear it.
Okay, here we go.
Because, you know, Arnold doesn't call it.
Jimmy Duardis is Arishwaraga.
This is the way everyone talks about my history of grubbing women.
I've been very upfront about my history of grubbing women.
I've admitted.
But one time.
10 years ago.
I grew up the lady so hard that it's made of baby.
It was a miracle.
I am discovering new ways of making human life.
That should be destroyed.
No one is talking about it.
Goodbye.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
I didn't think I would be having this much fun ever with Arnold Schwarzenegger, but we are.
Okay, so we'd even get to our last Oh my God clip.
So here, here's, of course, and then we have the standard Glenn Beck stops in to scare the hell out of people.
What's happening and scare the hell out of me, Land?
Things in Israel are going to get bad.
They're going to spread across the Middle East.
The things that I've told you are coming will come.
It's only a matter of time.
And there are forces in this land and forces all over the globe that are trying to destroy us.
Okay, be careful.
They're coming for they're trying to destroy us.
There's force, and everything I said that is going to happen is going to happen.
You could put him in an Ed Wood movie, and people would go, That's a little much for the movie.
How is he not standing on a corner wearing like a gunny sack gown with a sign in his hand?
I'm with you.
He's that guy.
He is.
They don't have those guys on the corner anymore because there's Fox News.
There's Fox News.
They don't need a bullhorn.
Yeah.
Okay, Glenn, close it out with something extra crazy for me.
I want you to know the very gates of hell are going to open up.
Not to be an alarmist.
Wow.
Okay.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh my God!
You're listening to a special best of episode of the Jimmy Door show.
Jimmy's on vacation this week.
That's me.
I'm on vacation this week.
So we're playing some of the best of oh my god segments.
You know, the oh my god segments.
They're the stuff that people have said out loud.
They've been recorded.
I play it for you and it makes you go, oh my god.
And if you've missed any part of today's show, you can get a podcast of the Jimmy Door show for free at iTunes or go to jimmydoorcomedy.com and you can get a download there for free.
Or you can listen to it for free and you can comment on the episodes.
That's at iTunes or JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And my last name is spelled D-O-R-E.
Okay, now back to another best of Oh My God segment from a few weeks ago.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, now this is going to be an extended Oh my God this week.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
And there we go.
We got the reaction you're looking for.
On to the next.
You know what?
This could be called this segment of Oh My God could be subtitled the week in douchebaggery.
And this week we travel to the great state of Oklahoma, the state that recently voted to amend their constitution to ban Sharia law.
Yes, right.
And representing the 84th district of Oklahoma is douchebag Sally Kern.
Yes, this 64-year-old former teacher has represented the 84th in the Oklahoma State House since 2005.
But her breakout year was 2008.
Sally comes out at us with this old chestnut.
She, you ready here?
It's kind of hard.
You really can't hear the audio is a little muffled, but she's talking about gay people.
She said this in 2008.
They show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few days.
So it's Todd.
This time you're gay and this stuff is really and it's spreading and it will destroy our young people.
It will destroy this nation.
She was asked if she would apologize for saying that about gay people, that if it's deadly and it's spreading and it's killing our young people.
And she said no.
She had studies to back it up.
Does it mean I'm shallower if I'm more offended by the audio quality of that?
Was it that bad?
Should I take it out?
No, leave it in.
Okay.
Leave it in, but it's bordering on almost makes me want to jab an ice pick into my ear.
Well, it sounds like it was a part of a tract on an old Pink Floyd album.
You know, I was looking for some type of reference to make about it.
It just, it's just refreshing to know that you don't have to live around hills to think like a hillbilly.
You know, when she said that, she didn't apologize because she was just starting.
Yeah, that's right.
She was because the same month that she introduced and authored a bill that would mandate students who cite young earth creationism in their work, they would still get passing grades in their science classes.
That was a bill that she forwarded.
And she's in later that same year, she co-authored a bill that students could not be penalized for religious content in their schoolwork.
Live the dream, Sally.
And by the dream, I mean the one in which the entire state public school system becomes as credible as Oral Roberts University.
Okay, but there's more.
In June 09, she then authored the Oklahoma Citizens Proclamation for Morality, which, among other things, would publicly blame homosexuality and President Obama's recognition of Gay Pride Month for the economic crisis.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Do you feel the First Amendment?
Your ass is grass when Sally comes to town.
And I know what you're thinking.
What could Sally possibly do to top that level of ignorance and full-blown crazy?
Well, she does not disappoint fellas because about a week ago, Oklahomans were debating a constitutional amendment to outlaw affirmative action.
That's right.
Affirmative action in Oklahoma.
Really?
Affirmative action is a big problem in Oklahoma.
I'm pretty sure you could solve that problem by just giving bus tickets to anybody who'd rather not be living in Oklahoma.
Anyway, Sally was debating the subject and she said this.
You know, I think, you know, God gave us two ears so we could hear both sides of the argument.
We have heard tonight already that, well, in prison, there's more black people.
Yes, there are.
And that's tragic.
It's tragic that our prisons here in Oklahoma, what are they?
99% occupancy.
But the other side of the story, perhaps we need to consider, is this just because they're black that they're in prison?
Or could it be because they didn't want to work hard in school?
That's what happens.
I taught school for 20 years and I saw a lot of people of color who didn't want to work as hard.
They wanted it given to them.
Matter of fact, I had one student that said, I don't need to study.
You know why?
The government's going to take care of me.
That's kind of revealing there.
So ignorant and really not a great speaker on top of it.
Yeah, you know, I think Katrina is a perfect example of the black people bringing it on themselves.
They had three full days.
They were warned to go ahead, get a college education, get a better paying job, and get an SUV.
And they chose not to.
How dare they not reverse 200 years of institutionalized racistness?
How dare they?
Now, I will say in her defense, yes, there are people of every race that feed off the system, and people of color are certainly no exception to that.
But, you know, when there's a teacher telling you that the colored kids don't work as hard, it just, I don't understand how someone could say they're still institutional racism.
Her mistake, her mistake in modern Republicanism is not speaking in coded racist language.
She's speaking in blatant, overt racist language.
You know, I never thought I'd say this, but can we get her pension back?
Ah, well, she went on.
She wasn't done.
She does because affirmative action not only handles the people of color, but it also handles women.
She had this to say about women.
Another thing we hear, and we heard about what women make.
Well, you know, they make 77 cents on a dollar less.
Well, did you know there's a study by Dr. Warren Farrell that when you take all variables in first of all, I think that I think it was Dr. Vinny Boombats that here we go.
Here's a study.
Into account, for example, actual hours worked, experience, work hazards, commute distance, and performance evaluations for the same work women make more than men.
Did you know that?
Well, come on.
I do now.
Warren Farrell.
And that's like an unimpeachable source.
Yeah.
I've just heard of him for the first time.
Yeah, and it's a study.
So, you know, it's official.
She has more.
You see, women usually don't want to work as hard as a man because, I mean, get me.
Wait a minute.
Now listen to me.
Women, hang on.
Women tend to think a little bit more about their family, wanting to be at home more time, wanting to have a little more leisure time.
That's all I mean.
I'm not saying women don't work hard.
I think women work very hard, so don't take that the wrong way.
You just said that they didn't work as hard.
She just said that.
She just said, women don't.
I'm not saying that they don't work hard.
They just don't work as hard.
I want to know who she ran against that lost.
Well, in her last campaign in 2010, she was running against a woman.
And in her campaign flyers that she sent around, she implied that her opponent was a lesbian.
Oh, my God.
That was part of like her.
She's great.
She's great.
That should get you more votes.
That's the thing.
More dudes would vote for it.
The first thing is that she has a glass ceiling in her trailer.
Okay, she had a little bit more to say.
That's factors you have to keep in mind.
Okay.
Women like to be willing to have a moderate work life with plenty of time for spouse and children and other things like that.
That's all I meant.
Okay.
They work very hard, but sometimes they aren't willing to commit their whole life to their job like a lot of men do.
That's all I meant by that.
So in your face, half the population of the earth, because Sally Kern just put you in your place.
And that place is not the workplace, baby.
And for this, she did apologize.
And then when she was formally reprimanded by the state assembly, she said in effect, I don't know why I'm being reprimanded.
I already apologized.
She was actually reprimanded.
They passed a bill to reprimand her for that.
And it passed 74 to 16, meaning 16 people didn't have a problem with anything she just said.
She never saw the reprimand because the person who was supposed to bring it to was black.
He was too lazy.
All right.
And that.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay, we're listening to a special best of Jimmy Doerr show.
Jimmy's on vacation this week.
That's me.
I'm on vacation, but I put together some of my favorite Oh my God segments for this week's show and that was one of them.
Right now I'm going to play a phone call when Dominique Strauss Kahn, the head of the IMF, was accused of raping a maid in Manhattan.
He called into my show, and here it is.
Hello, Jimmy Dar.
Bonjour, this is Dominique Staff Can, president of the International Monetary Fund, calling from Jail.
They have given me my own sweet hero, the lovely I de Racer.
And they give me one fun, and I said, Jimmy Dar as they said, usually people call that lawyer.
And I said, I did enough.
It was consensual.
She came into my hotel room where I stood a naked bound and a fashion.
Behold, my thunder European mushroom cap and she fell to her knees, overcome with bashon, and cooked my cock of van slowly yet easily like Alice Waters.
At least that is how my cognac of the brain process the memory.
Who knows?
Maybe I did rape her after all.
Such are the mysteries of life, Jimmy Darrell.
And this lady was from the third world, too.
I would never rape anyone from the third world.
That is not what we as the International Monetary Fund do.
No, no, no.
We help these people.
Some say we leverage predatory loans against the governments of developing nations at exorbitant interest rates, consigning the unwilling populations of these countries to a crushing tax burden.
But it is consensual.
This is the engulfed genitalia of our IMF assets and cannot control themselves.
Jimmy?
And what better way to prepare these villagers to be a part of the developed world than getting used to predatory loans and exorbitant purposes?
They thank us for these kindnesses by allowing multinational corporations to strip them of the right of collective bargaining, enforced by the barrels of the guns of the brutal regime we loaned to in the first place.
Now, does that sound like a rap to you, Jimmy?
No.
It is but the gentle caress of an attentive lover.
Speaking of, I'm not sure I will pay these legal bills that seem to be amounting here in New York City.
Looks like I will have to find the last vestige of a basic human right that remains in Bolivia and privatize it.
Maybe next we can figure out how to bundle oxygen shares.
Failure.
Anyway, let me in your show sometime, Jimmy Dar.
We will talk about French politics, and maybe then I can rape you or one of your boys in this studio for your funny time show okay.
That was Dominique Strauss-Kahn calling in.
And also, we'll play one more phone call before the bottom of the hour.
Bill O'Reilly called in recently to let us know that he didn't appreciate our coverage of the News of the World scandal with Rupert Murdoch, the phone hacking scandal.
Yeah, Bill O'Reilly did not like the way we were talking about it, so he called in to let us know.
And here it is: Jimmy Dore, how's it going, Spill O'Reilly?
So, true to form, you and your pinhead friends are going after Fox News and News Corp over this whole flap about Rupert Murdoch and everything.
Hey, look, I got to defend my boss here.
Technically, my boss's boss.
This is nonsense, all this stuff about this voicemail crap.
Let me explain something to you, idiots.
Your voicemail is not your private property, okay?
You got no reasonable expectation of privacy there.
Time was back in the day, your telephone used to belong to the phone company.
Now, that may not be the case anymore, but your voicemails don't belong to you because they're not inside your phone, stored at the phone company.
So, they're not even yours to begin with, Pinhead.
So, think about that for a second.
Yeah, I don't care.
You know, I don't care.
You want to hear my voicemails?
I don't give a fuck.
I don't care.
Go ahead and listen to them.
You'd be very bored.
I'll give you the Gary Hart treatment on that.
I got a couple of men here.
What do you see?
There's one from my accountant.
I dare you to listen to that.
It's one from Rob.
My boss, Roger Ailes, invited me upstairs to his office to work on a plate of pork shoulders with him.
Couple of voicemails from Glenn Bax, just him calling and crying.
I get a couple of those every week.
And then just, you know, maybe a voicemail from the guy that I get my loofahs and falafels from.
I got a guy for that, Jimmy Dore.
So, whatever.
I mean, if these people have something to hide in their voicemails, maybe they shouldn't be hiding them in the first place.
We're allowed to listen to other people.
We're allowed to hack in.
That's how it goes.
Just because you're 13 and dead doesn't mean the news stops.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly calling in, and you're listening to a special best of episode of the Jimmy Door Show.
While the Jimmy Door show is on vacation this week, we're playing some of our favorite clips from the Oh My God segment and some of our favorite phone calls.
But right now, it's time for a break, and we'll be back in one minute.
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Okay, now back to the show.
Okay, welcome back to the special best of the Jimmy Dorrit show.
We're all on vacation this week.
It is summer still.
And so we're putting together some of our favorite clips from the Oh My God segments and some of our favorite calls.
All right.
So we're going to go back a few weeks ago for this Oh My God segment.
Enjoy.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, this is a first.
I'm going to actually read today's Oh My God segment.
I don't know if you heard about Marilyn Davenport.
She's an elected member of the Orange County Republican Central Committee.
Well, she sent out an email last Friday to a small group of Republican committee members in which it showed an image of Barack Obama posed like a family portrait.
And they were chimpanzee and children and with Obama's face superimposed on the young chimp.
Hysterical.
You got to give it to her.
Man, that is.
And the text beneath the picture read, Now you know why, no birth certificate.
I didn't think it could get funnier, but I was wrong.
It gets better because then she gave her apology, is what I really wanted to read to you guys.
So Davenport told the Orange County Weekly that she was, quote, sorry if my email offended anyone, but that she simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth.
And in no way did I even consider the fact that he is half black.
The thought never entered my mind until two other people tried to make this about race.
Yes.
Watermelon happens to be my favorite fruit.
And her favorite doctor is Dr. Zayas.
Yeah.
By the way, the two other people who made it about race are other people on the Orange County Republican Committee.
Yes.
Like, these are not, these are extremely conservative people.
And even they were like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
It wasn't like some crazy lefty liberal upset.
No, this is like, this wasn't Bob Scheer pulling the trigger.
This was like.
Yeah, because it's so, oh, what?
I made, I made our black president out to be a chimpanzee.
What?
Come on.
You know, I mean, she's either stupid or.
I think the most offensive thing is just how comedically hackneyed that is.
Yes, that's what I was going to say, too.
When you say hackneyed, I say classic.
It offended me as a comedian.
I was offended on many different levels.
Well, the one comedian was upset was Leno because he didn't get to do it as a bit.
Well, there's actually, there was more to her apology.
So once she realized that that first apology wasn't really an apology and she caught a lot of hell for it, she came out with a new one on Monday afternoon asking for forgiveness for her, quote, unwise behavior just before the local Republican committee met for the monthly summit at a hotel in Irvine.
Quote, to my fellow Americans and to everyone else who has seen this email I forwarded and was offended by my action, I humbly apologize and ask for your forgiveness of my unwise behavior.
I say unwise because at the time I received and forwarded the email, I didn't stop to think about the historic implications and other examples of how this could be offensive.
Yeah, you have to, I ought to cut her some slack there because I mean, that's a nice apology.
It doesn't, it takes a long time to think about how offensive a monkey picture with his face.
I mean, it's who's got a millisecond before you have a lot of people.
There's such incredible nuance and subtlety in the bit that it's hard to realize that it might offend some people.
It's really, it takes time to think that over.
This is a think piece.
Yes.
You see a cartoon like that.
You're like, you know what?
I better go away for a weekend and decide whether this is offensive or not.
I mean, you really have to.
When I saw the orangutan being lynched, I didn't realize what it was saying.
I just thought it was cute.
She ended.
Yes.
Who doesn't like a chimpanzee?
I'm sorry.
Speaking of unfunny people, the guy who does the Dilbert cartoon, he came out.
He's gotten in trouble before for sexist statements.
And he came out defending this.
This is true.
He was defending this woman saying that what about, you know, if you look on the internet, you can find photos of George W. Bush as a chimpanzee, too.
So what's the difference?
Okay.
You know, as if like a black guy and a white guy, like there's no difference between them.
What is that?
Is there 400 years of racism history in America?
I don't know.
Against people from Kenny Bunkport.
Yes, I think so.
As if, right?
Yeah, it's a big, it's a big difference.
Real quick, Scott Adams.
Also, that's the guy's name, right?
Yeah, Scott Adams, also a huge libertarian.
And just got caught out.
Turns out that on message sites, he was his number one favorite.
Oh, that's right.
I saw that.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
He's a really awful human being.
The rest of her apology is, I would never do anything to intentionally harm or berate others regardless of ethnicity, she said in her apology, quote, except for this one time.
Except for this time, I guess.
Quote, everyone who knows me knows that to be true.
Okay, that's not true.
No, she hangs around with a bunch of white people who accept each other's form of racism because it's not, they'll hire a black person.
They'll go to a black person's house, but they still hold on to this thing that makes them feel good about themselves.
Yes.
That's my take on it.
Well, you know what?
The thing that really kind of undercuts her case is that I don't know if you guys remember in 2009, there was a former mayor of a small town in California who sent out a similarly racist email with the watermelons on the front of the White House.
That's equally hysterical.
And she defended him in 2009.
So she's aware of this stuff.
It's not like she doesn't know.
Oh, really?
So watermelons and chimpanzees are right?
What else is going to be?
What else are you going to tell?
I can't do an ape either.
She also is doing commentary on the Amos and Andy DVD set.
Who dad?
So everybody, you know, everybody in this world has a defender.
So I was watching CNN and she had a pal from the Orange County Republicans come on.
Who of a Soladad hasn't at any given time either said something, sent something, or forwarded something we regretted doing.
Okay, that's true.
We've all forwarded and done something we've read.
Not that that.
Those aren't the same thing.
Right.
That's like, hey, you know, who has, like, you're defending Manson, who hasn't given an order that they wish they hadn't given, right?
I'm sure Sherman would.
Yeah, okay.
So, okay, here's more.
There's more.
She didn't sit there and go, ha ha ha.
Yes, she did.
That's exactly what she did.
She thought it was funny and she admitted it.
And type all sorts of stuff with it.
No, she didn't type all sorts of stuff.
Oh, so that's like that gets you off the hook that you didn't write LOL.
It's like, hey, hey, I heard you sent the email that made Obama look like a monkey.
Did you type a bunch of stuff with it?
No?
Well, then that's okay.
Well, I did.
Okay.
I wrote LOL, but not R-O-T-L-L.
So, which is so I wasn't.
By the way, she didn't send this to everybody.
She sent this to the people within the Republican Party Central Committee who she thought would think it was funny.
Yes.
Okay.
So she knew this was like, okay, we're all white people here.
She didn't send this out to like family and friends.
Right.
And the reason, the only reason why she got mad afterwards is because somebody leaked it.
Somebody said exactly.
She actually even in her first apology made mention of the fact that she was upset that at the person, the coward she called the coward who leaked the email.
Let me make this about me for a second.
Sure.
It's been way too long.
Sure.
I do this Republican character who sometimes says awful things.
And it's occurring to me.
Am I just okay for me to do that?
Because I'm making fun of those people.
But am I hiding behind satire by having them say awful things?
No, because she's just saying this picture of Obama as a monkey is funny.
Whereas you would, if you did that as your character, it would be, well, we're laughing because we know he's being a jerk because he thinks it's funny.
It's like Archie Bunker.
Yeah.
So, so, I mean, that's that.
But, Paul, you're right to ask that question because we get a lot of people who listen to this show and who are regular listeners of KPFK don't understand satire.
Yeah.
And they don't understand that the way sometimes the best way to make fun of the bigot or the idiot or the moron or portray them as accurately as possible.
Or the fascist is to shine the light, the light on them so you can expose them.
By the way, in the comedy community in general, I am finding, even at the most professional level, a lot of people who don't understand the difference between ironic racism and full-blown racism.
And that's how there are some people who will not get named, but who get television shows.
Carlos Mancia.
Oh, Carlos Mancia.
And the puppet guy.
Jeff Dunham.
Oh, Jeff Dunno.
Well, it's well known that those guys, I mean, it's no secret that Jeff Dunham's, a lot of his characters are at least mildly racist, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Am I talking about that?
And he thinks he can get away with it because it's hysterically funny.
Yeah, but he's not saying it.
The puppet is.
But seriously, though, is it better that my character is doing it?
But why is it better?
I don't know why I'm not taking the side for me.
I'll tell you why.
Why?
Because when people are laughing, why is a puppet better than a satirical puppet?
Because he's not saying the puppet's an idiot.
They're all laughing with the puppet.
They're not laughing at the puppet.
All right.
I'm off.
When people laugh at you, they're laughing at you.
They're not laughing with you.
Okay.
And that's a big difference.
Thank you.
Okay.
So he's got more than.
By the way, Jeff Dunham makes more money than just about any people.
Yeah, he makes so much more money.
So he couldn't care about it.
You tune in for the politics.
You stay for the comedy theory.
Yeah.
I don't think Jeff Dunham cares about that.
Okay.
So here is.
Sorry to throw that wrench in there.
No, no, no works there, but that was good.
It's good because we do get a lot of people misunderstanding the comedy sometimes on this show.
A lot of Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy was really racist.
No, I just made that.
But we point a lot of fingers on the show, and I just think sometimes we need to make sure that we're not being hypocrites.
So I like to pipe up where possible.
I like to be hypocritical and then ignore it.
Okay.
All right.
So here's some more of this guy defending her.
And type all sorts of stuff with it.
She simply forwarded something on it that was relating to wonder why there's no birth certificate.
Now you know well.
And I don't.
That was all it was.
It wasn't a picture of a monkey.
It wasn't chimpanzee and quitting a black president with a well, he's relating it to the birth certificate, which just ramps the racism up even more.
Yeah, he's different.
He's not one of us.
Because for those people, the birther issue is they're thrilled about it.
It's because it's the most socially acceptable form of racism that's come along in a long time.
That and Obama is a Muslim, which Donald Trump puts them both together now.
And it's just instead of, you know, if you go on TV and say the N-word, you'll get in big trouble.
But if you go on TV and say Obama wasn't born in America, he's a Muslim.
You'll get nominated.
You'll get suffering no consequences.
And it's just as racist to say that.
By the way, what wouldn't I give to find out that it turns out Trump has sickle cell?
Oh, my God.
All right, there's more to this apology.
Forward to email.
I would never forward it out.
And I guarantee you, she'll never do that ever again.
Oh, she'll never do that ever again.
She just defend someone for doing it and then do it herself, but then she'll stop.
She is greatly apologetic for what she's done.
She's greatly apologetic.
Marilyn is a fine Christian.
Oh, there it is.
Of course.
She would never do anything to hurt anybody in any way, shape, or form.
She did not send anything out with premeditated intent to denigrate or offend anybody.
It was something that came in.
Knowing what she knows now, as some things have been explained to her, she greatly regrets the email being forwarded.
Yeah.
Mr. Whitaker also told our Yeah, I'm sure that she greatly regrets it now, not after it's been explained to her, after she's been exposed.
That's why.
You know, this reminds me of the Bill Clinton getting the BJ thing.
It just shows what kind of judgment the person has.
You know, Bill Clinton was free to get that done, but it shows poor judgment.
Yeah.
Well, you know, most people on their wives use poor judgment.
She's claiming that she's really apologetic.
She's not.
Listen to her formal apologies.
He's way more apologetic than she was.
Oh, yeah.
And one of my favorite apologies she released this week was, I humbly accept your rebuke.
I'll take it.
I'm not admitting wrongdoing, but I'll take it.
Okay.
And if she sends out two or three more racist emails, the major consequence of that is she can become the Democratic candidate for governor in New York.
I know that's an old story, but that was Paladino.
Oh, Paladino.
Oh, he was Republican, though.
Oh, Republican, yes.
Okay, yeah, Carl Palmer.
By the way, three racist emails gets you a free subway saying.
Okay.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You're listening to a special best of the Jimmy Doer show.
We're on vacation this week.
We're playing some of our favorite clips from the Oh My God segment and some of our favorite phone calls.
And I wanted to let everybody know, remind you that the Jimmy Doer show is also available as a podcast for free.
Just go to iTunes, type in the Jimmy Door show.
That's spelled D-O-R-E, the Jimmy Door Show, or you can go to my website, JimmyDoorComedy.com, and you can listen to a podcast there for free.
You can download it.
You can also comment on a lot of the episodes right there.
Okay, now back to another Oh My God segment from a few weeks ago.
Oh My God.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, now on today's Oh My God episode, I told you about it.
Rick Perry, our main man, Rick Perry, governor, friend of the show, governor of Texas.
He is having a prayer revival thing with all the, and it's at this place called the Reliance Center, and it seats like 80,000 people.
He sold 8,000 tickets so far.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's not really going well.
Although he's delusional about it.
They're still going to have it.
They're still going forward.
And I just wanted to play what I thought was going to be this week's Oh My God segment was I was going to play some clips from some of the preachers that are going to be preaching there.
Like for instance, Mike, this is Mike Bickel from the International House of Prayer.
Really?
Yes, it is.
Yes, it really is.
I could have you tried their razzle racism.
It's delicious.
A couple runneth over with coffee.
I get the little silver dollar hypocrisies.
They're literally on with this.
Let's not.
So here's Mike Bickel from the International House of Prayer IHAP.
The homosexual agenda will become so intense that before the Lord returns, marriage will be outlawed in various parts of the earth.
Now there's a little bit of a switcheroo because gays have been fighting to get married for years, right?
And that's the big fight right now, but we keep denying it to them.
So it turns out when the gays find a way to reproduce without somehow they're going to take over the world and then they're going to stick it to us and not let us get to get married anymore.
It's a really razzle-dazzle route.
They are going to hog marriage the way they've hogged the adoption of AIDS babies.
Yes, they are.
Okay, so that was Mike Bickel.
And then there was another guy.
Who was this other guy?
Oh, this is David Barton from Wall Builders.
That's what they're called.
Wow.
Wall Builders.
Here's what he had to say.
Ready?
I know.
One of the good examples, minimum wage.
Party's been fighting about that for about 60 years.
Is Jesus for or against the minimum wage?
What do you think he's going to say?
Is Jesus for or against the minimum wage?
Give me a hint, can you?
Just as a hint, Jesus did not like the minimum wage.
That was in the Bible.
Come on.
But Jesus was a strong supporter of supply-side economics.
We all know that.
He's on record that's saying that you have to free up the capital markets and you have to deregulate.
I think he said that.
When you pray to him, his blessings trickle down.
That's right.
I think he turned to Barabbas and said, after tonight, I recommend you invest in junk bonds, and I will see you in heaven.
The decision to crucify him was reached through collective bargaining.
So that's what I thought was going to be the Oh My God segment.
That's a that would be fun.
What could top that?
That would be fun already, right?
Well, introducing Enter Representative Doug Lamborn of Colorado when he was talking about how he didn't want to be associated with Barack Obama's debt ceiling bill.
And here's what you ready?
Okay, we're all sitting down.
Okay, here's represent.
This is an elected representative from Colorado, Doug Lamborn.
Okay, here we go.
Ready?
Even if some people say, well, the Republicans should have done this or they should have done that, they will hold the president responsible.
Now, I don't want to even have to be associated with him.
It's like touching a tar baby, and you get it, you know, you're stuck, and you're part of the problem now.
Oh, my God.
Tar baby.
He said tar baby.
How quickly after he said that did he think that was a bad choice of words?
No, I think he's well, he did send a letter.
He said, Congressman Doug Lamborn sent a personal letter to the president, Barack Obama, apologizing for the use of a term that some find insensitive.
Yeah, you know who doesn't?
Racists.
That's who doesn't find it insensitive.
The congressman is confident that the president will accept his apology.
That was from the congressman's office.
Wow.
Call him a tar baby.
That was so racist.
Pat Buchanan was taken aback.
Pat Buchanan, who earlier this was, just I think, was it yesterday, the day before yesterday, he used the term boy.
Your boy.
Your boy when we were talking to Al Sharpton about Barack Obama.
And let's hear how he said it, too.
Did he say your boy, or did he say it in that racist way that they said, your boy?
Did he say it like that?
Well, let's see how he said it.
And let me tell you, your boy.
Okay, he did.
Wow.
Oh, by the way, to our audience, Robbie Yasimar just did a spit tape.
Very spontaneous, not free flash.
Yeah, let's hear it one more time because a lot of people are saying, I just want to hear how he says it.
And let me tell you, your boy, Barack Obama.
Okay, he said it in that racist way that you would say.
But he has a good excuse, Frank.
Frankie has a good excuse because he was using a certain kind of terminology.
What kind of terminology was he using?
Using boxing terminology.
He was using boxing terminology.
Oh, my God.
This is the most dense Oh my God segment ever.
From the way he said your boy, the next thing I expected him to do was put cool hand Luke in the box.
What we have here is a failure to communicate, boy.
Ready?
And let me tell you, your boy, Barack Obama, caved in on it.
Okay, so then, but he has a great excuse.
Let's hear it again.
Using boxing terminology was your boy.
He was using boxing terminology, your boy.
Okay, we all know the boxing terminology.
Of course, Pat Buchanan, famous boxer.
I think he's more famous for his boxing game than his racism.
Sure.
Sure.
Okay, so that was a fun.
And mind you, this is Pat Buchanan, who is now viewed as a moderate.
Republican.
Yes, Pat Buchanan is a moderate Republican.
Now he is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
This has been Oh my God.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Okay, another high-powered Oh my God segment.
Well, guess what?
How could we top that?
Could you even top that segment?
As Paul Goodmartin said, it was pretty dense, oh my God, segment.
I think we're going to top it.
If you're not sure what you're listening to, this is the Jimmy Door show, and this is a special best of the Jimmy Door show where we're playing our favorite clips from our Oh My God segment and some of our favorite phone calls.
Why?
Because we're on vacation this week.
That's right.
It's August.
Well, I'm not actually on vacation all the way.
I'm putting this together, so I'm working a little.
But this is the best of, and I hope you're enjoying it.
I'm enjoying listening to these clips Again.
Okay, so can we top that last clip?
Well, let's see if we can do it with a little bit from Pat Robertson.
Time for another installment of Oh my God.
Okay, so it's this week's Oh my God.
And, you know, most of us have at least one older relative who's a horrible bigot.
And every Thanksgiving, they make everyone really uncomfortable by casually saying something like, you know, if the Jews and the Mexicans ever start interbreeding, then we got real trouble.
And for those of you who don't have such a relative, there's Pat Robertson.
He's like that guy for all of America.
And yes, he too makes things very uncomfortable in front of the other industrialized nations.
So here's a little Pat Robertson for you talking about because New York voted to allow gay marriage.
And Pat Robertson had a response.
I think we need to remember the term sodomy came from a town that was known as Sodom.
And Sodom was destroyed by God Almighty.
And the thing that they practiced was homosexual activity.
And even they tried to rape angels who came down there.
So I'm saying, that's the kind of people they were.
Angel rapers.
First of all, oh, God, I'm going to give birth to outrage.
I just want to just, and everybody, can I just ask everybody in San Francisco, please stop raping the angels.
What would they ever do to you?
What'd they ever do to you?
What were they wearing now?
That's what I want to know.
I want to know what those angels were wearing.
But that's different.
They were wearing from the long-running show, A Rape by an Angel.
Well, they're wearing the fuck me wings.
Okay, there's more.
There's more.
Jesus didn't, when he spoke of Sodom, he didn't say anything about the homosexuality.
He talked about just the fact that business was as usual until God decided to destroy it.
And he sent an angel down there and he said to Lot and his family, get out now because I'm going to destroy this whole area.
So that's where sodomy came from.
We use the term sodomy and it means sodom.
Okay, let me just say, Pat, the people who know where the word sodomy comes from don't watch your show.
And the people who didn't know it don't need any scholarly reason to be homophobes.
And Jesus did not preach homosexuality.
He was just hanging around with his 12 male friends all the time.
It was implied.
It was implied.
No women anywhere to be seen.
Was this on his TV show that you were saying?
On the 700 Club.
But let me just say that, you know, we all, did anyone ever think that Sodom wasn't destroyed by God?
Is there people out there going, I think so?
What happened to Sodom was that it wasn't able to sustain an entirely anal sex-based economy.
Is that what people are?
There's more.
He's got more.
What's it like?
Well, we're heading that way as a nation.
And in history, there's never been a civilization ever in history that has embraced homosexuality and turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, traditional child rearing, and has survived.
You know, but on the bright side, they all had the best musical theater.
It works out.
And, you know, that's the thing, too.
God can only take so much gayness.
Yeah.
And then he's going to smite you.
Okay.
If our civilization has to be destroyed just so we can have Stephen Sonhei musicals, I'm willing to make that trade.
So is he saying that all great societies were destroyed by gay bashers?
Is that what he's saying?
No, by gays.
Okay, but the gay, okay.
They were too gay, so the gay bashers came in and finished them off.
Right.
He's got a little bit more to say.
Here we go.
There isn't one single civilization that has survived that openly embraced homosexuality.
So you say, what's going to happen to America?
Well, if history's any guide, the same thing's going to happen to us.
It's not a pretty world we live in right now, and we need all of God's help we can get.
And I don't think we're exactly setting ourselves up for his favor.
Can I just say, he said, look how he says, no society has ever embraced homosexuality and survived.
Can I news flash to Pat Robertson?
No society has ever survived at all.
They all die eventually and change into something else.
That's the way civilization works.
That's the way history works.
And he'd know that if he ever read anything else besides a 2,000-year-old magic book and Reader's Digest.
And he said in there, it's not a pretty world.
Has he ever gone to a gay neighborhood?
It's beautiful.
They make it so charming and beautiful.
And they have nice shops and everything, and it's really pleasant to walk around.
And mind you, this is the guy who months ago or a year or so ago was calling for the assassination of Ugo Chavez.
Yes.
So that is his way to a more perfect world is to continue the carpet bombing and the assassination.
Yeah.
That's like what Jesus do.
And I just want to say I appreciate you dropping the H in Hugo Chavez like that.
That was nice.
You're like introspective.
It lets the Chicanos and the Hispanics know that I'm not just another person.
It proves you're not an homosexual.
LAUGHTER *music* This has been, oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay, that's our special best of the Jimmy Doors show.
Did you enjoy it?
I certainly enjoyed listening to it again and putting this together.
I hope you're having a summer.
If you can have a nice summer, we're doing our best out here, huh?
Okay, so until next time, I want to thank everybody who helps put this show together.
Our producer, Ali Alexa, everybody who helps write the show, Mike McCrae, Frank Conniff, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasimura, Steph Zamorano.
I'm sure there's a few more, John Corbett.
And I want to also thank you for listening.
I hope you enjoy this show as much as we enjoy putting it together.
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