It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say It's hard to talk on your TV So sit back or sit up or keep driving and now Here's a guy who sounds a lot like me It's Jimmy Door Welcome to the Jimmy Door show.
You know what?
Not much happening in the news last well.
Let's just see what CNN had to say what was happening.
180 miles north of Tokyo, the biggest earthquake ever on record.
A massive tsunami, a wall of water 33 feet high, sweeping away everything in its path.
Meanwhile, amid okay, so what that's a big deal.
What else is going on?
Unprecedented regime change elsewhere in the Middle East.
The biggest oil supplier in the world, Saudi Arabia, today, flooding its streets of its capital with uniformed police, helicopters buzzing over Riyadh, security forces clamping down on roads to and from Friday prayers, orders to stamp out protests from an 87-year-old king who's guaranteed the West energy supplies for decades.
Okay, big deal.
So come on, is there anything going on in the world?
And at their extraordinary summit, meanwhile, over in Brussels, the 17 leaders of the Eurozone have now 60 minutes left to hammer out a deal towards saving the currency union that don't forget binds together one-third of a billion Europeans.
Boring.
Come on.
I want to know what I'm supposed to be afraid of.
So Europe investors fear systemic risks through the banking system and the major economic zone that could falter.
In Saudi, the fear is that oil prices could spike to a level that would drive us all back into recession.
And in Japan, as things stand at the moment, the biggest fear is that radiation will leak from that major nuclear plant north of Tokyo.
Okay, that's all I needed to know.
Now I can do the show.
All right, what's coming up on today's show?
Well, we have 104 nuclear power plants already in the United States.
And let's hear what the smartest guy in the room had to say about them just a few years ago.
There's no reason why technologically we can't employ nuclear energy in a safe and effective way.
Japan does it.
Okay, well, I think there might be a reason.
Okay, we're going to talk about that.
And also, as horrible as all this is, you try to find a silver lining.
You try to make lemonade.
So living in an active earthquake zone, at least you're probably pretty sure that they all had insurance, right?
But only about 14 to 17 percent of Japanese residences have earthquake insurance.
Ooh, okay.
So I don't know what that really on the ball.
And also, we're going to talk about, is nuclear power, is it really worth it?
The fact that this is still a really rare event, right?
This is, you know, this is, we don't have a history here.
Unlike oil spills, for instance, which happen frequently, not often in the United States, but happen all over the world all the time.
This is something that is actually very rare.
And as you said, it only has happened because of a cascade of events, right?
Yes, it's very rare.
So, you know, it's only once in a while that we're going to have an apocalypse.
So don't make a big deal out of it.
Once every 30 or 40 years.
We're also going to take a look at both sides of this energy debate and even both sides of the meltdown debate.
Didn't know there was a meltdown debate?
Well, yes, there's another side to it.
And we're going to take a look at the fear monger in chief who cried sheep.
Talky boys believes that the worldwide media is hyping the nuke situation in Japan a bit too much.
Okay, well, come on, what's with all the hype?
The biggest earthquake in history, a tsunami that wiped out cities off the map, and now four nuclear plants are melting down.
But I would wait a little while longer before I started worrying, according to Bill O'Reilly.
I mean, nobody's glowing yet.
And Glenn Beck says that God was trying to send a message with the tsunami.
The message, we don't know what it was because God was using ATT.
We're going to give a listen to the religious crazy explain all the causes of this disaster.
And, well, is there any good news to talk about in this disaster at all?
The latest weather forecast, however, gives some reason for optimism.
It says the wind will turn, taking the radioactive cloud out to sea.
Oh, and that'll solve everything.
We'll just get some radioactivity into the food chain.
We really dodged a bullet there.
Okay.
Plus, later on, Jack Well sticks up for the voiceless, the multinational corporations outsourcing jobs to slave labor.
Plus, Jim Hydower and Tuesdays with Moron, and a lot lot more.
That's today on The Jimmy Dore Show.
*music*
All right, so I'm joined in studio this today from cinematictitanic.com and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff.
Next to him from Dinner in a Movie from TBS and from Askarepublican.com.
He's not a real Republican.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
And next to him from Team Yasamura, it's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, you're Asian.
I am.
All right.
You don't look wet.
We wiped that...
We might have an expert here to talk about.
I am so far from being an expert.
Oh, so you're a regular American?
Yeah.
Ask me how it was awkward growing up, and that's about the extent of it.
That's it.
My being Asian in America.
How was it awkward growing up?
Can you say it in 30 words or less?
There were like four Asians in my school, and we were all looked at like maybe we had magic, maybe not.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, well, before we get to the rest of today's show, it's time for...
Okay, now we're going to have a little bit, maybe we're going to have two Oh my Gods today.
The first one comes from Rush Limbaugh.
God bless him, huh?
Rush Limbaugh's got to be.
Rush Limbaugh, the nicest drug, deaf drug addict who ever made fun of nuclear holocaust victims.
Here we go.
Welcome to Paul and you just enjoy.
Because, you know, Japan has been kind of forward-thinking in a lot of ways, especially with the environment, in a sense, right?
Because they're into recycling and they gave us hybrid cars.
Anime.
The Kyoto.
What's that?
Anime.
Anime.
Cool animation.
Can we remove building nuclear plants at a good site?
Can we remove that from their technological?
We can remove that.
We're going to get into that.
Yes, definitely.
We're going to get into that.
But here's the oh my god today.
The Japanese have done so much to save the planet.
He's right.
They've given us the Prius.
Even now, refugees are still recycling their garbage.
And yet, Gaia levels them.
Just wipes them out.
Wipes out their nuclear plants.
All kinds of radiation.
What kind of payback is this?
So I don't really understand.
It's funny because it's tragic.
He's making fun of the Japanese people because they invented, they have the Prius and they recycle things, yet they still had nuclear power that's killing them.
I don't understand.
I don't get how those two things make it.
He finds it ironic.
It's ironic that they recycle and that they're being killed by nuclear power.
Maybe if you lived a lonely life in a big house, you would understand.
Wouldn't it be it would be funny if their recycling thing killed them, not if the nuclear plant that they're doing.
But they're foreigners, though.
Yeah, oh, is it kind of like, I think it's kind of, I think I'm starting to get it.
I think it's kind of like how Rush is a drug addict and he took Soxie Cotton to make himself feel better, but it actually ended up making him be deaf and he has to wear a wire on the outside of his head so he could hear.
Oh, it's like funny like that.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
That's what I thought.
And both tragedies affected a large geographical area.
Yes.
Bang.
That's a fat joke.
He's large, is my point.
Yes, I'm getting it.
Okay, now I like to watch CNBC because they give it to you straight.
And Larry Kudlow has a show over there.
It used to be Kudlow Kramer.
He's stellar.
Yes, I liked.
You know what?
If you like your financial news, given to somebody in French cuffs and the kerchief, that's where I go.
I like his pocket squares and his ascots.
Well, you need to know that he's successful when you look at him.
Yes.
How are you supposed to know that he's had success in the financial industry if he doesn't have French cuffs?
If my accountant doesn't look like a mob lawyer, I'm not going.
Yeah.
If I don't see a pinky ring and pleated khakis, I think this guy is going nowhere.
And, well, let's see how far he goes because we were all worried about the— Sure.
Does he unnecessarily hold his pen even when he's not writing?
He might do that.
I'm not sure.
He's a Sean Hannity.
Sean never accessed a fact in his life, yet always has a pen.
It's the one legacy of William F. Buckley that he carries on, is having the pen.
Having the pen.
Maybe he does it.
He has a list and he checks off voicing his unfounded fears.
What if he just says allergies is an EpiPen?
It's not.
Like, what if you're making fun of a guy who's kind of sick and you're an ad?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, we're not.
Okay, so he's a jerk.
Okay, here's our second, oh my God.
Ready?
So here's Larry Kudlow talking about the financial fallout from the positive territory.
It's up a little more than a tenth of a percent, but still in positive territory, three-tenths of a percent for the NASDAQ.
And look at the ST bouncing back.
It's up about four-tenths of a percent.
All in all, the market taking this in stride.
I mean, the human tall here looks to be much worse than the economic tall, and we can be grateful for that.
And the human tall is a tragedy.
We know that.
But these markets are all these markets, right?
Stocks, commodities, oil, gold.
There is no major breakout or breakdown.
Okay, I'm going to play that again because I think you guys might have missed what he said.
I'm going to play it one more time.
Please listen.
Don't make me yell at you.
This and strive.
I mean, the human tall here looks to be much worse than the economic tall, and we can be grateful for that.
And the human tall is a tragedy.
It looks to be.
I did miss that.
I did miss the choice of words.
The human set is obviously much worse.
Okay, optimistic.
The bank is always half full as far as words.
What he's basically saying is it could still turn around.
There could still be a financial devastation that is worse than 9,000 people being dragged out to sea.
I'm still thinking you might be missing a little something.
I'm going to play it one more time.
Taking this in stride.
I mean, the human tall here looks to be much worse than the economic tall, and we can be grateful for that.
Do you catch what he just said?
The human toll is worse than the economic toll.
And we can be grateful for that.
Oh, my God.
I missed the way we can be grateful for that.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I know.
It's kind of so outrageous.
It kind of can go right past you, which it almost did the first time I watched it.
And I went, did he just say what I think?
Grateful for that.
Here we go.
The human tall here looks to be much worse than the economic tall, and we can be grateful for that.
And the human tall is a tragedy.
We know that.
But these markets are all these markets, right?
Stocks.
He goes, yeah, the human tragedy, it's bad.
We know that.
But these markets.
But in his world, the human toll is always worse than the financial toll.
In other words, the policies that he promotes, you know, enrich a few people.
Right.
And there's always a horrible human toll to it.
But the financial toll is always better than the human toll.
And for that, we can be grateful.
Yes, we should be grateful.
See, I was pretty, I was so glad that, all right.
I was waiting for Paul to do a backflip over there.
And I knew that.
But that was a new, oh, my God.
That was a subtle, oh, my God.
Because it sounds like he's saying, well, at least.
This is okay.
And you listen closer and you're like, oh, no, that's not what he's saying at all.
Yeah.
He really said that.
I didn't edit that together in a funny way.
It's just like he's saying, you know, thousands of people died, but at least my stuff is okay.
Yes.
Right.
Yeah.
That's what he's saying.
I just imagine.
It looks to be much worse than the economy.
I'm sorry.
Is he wearing like a darkened hood while he's saying this?
It's like he said, it's good that Hitler killed himself because now we know he's the Messiah.
Tribe.
I mean, the human tall here looks to be much worse than the economic toll, and we can be grateful for that.
And who is this a-hole?
That's Larry Kudlow.
The human toll is worse than the economic.
What show is he on?
He's on the Kudlow and what?
Kudlow and Kudlow.
He's on the Darth Vader Financial Review.
Can we email him?
Yeah, email that guy.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
We got to get that guy as friend of the show.
Yeah, we got to talk.
I would like to talk.
Boy, if there is anybody who should be having to answer questions.
Grateful for that.
We could be grateful for that, that the financial toll isn't as bad as the human toll.
Okay, so now I have a new segment I'm introducing.
I don't have an introduction for it, like a pre-introduction thing, but it's going to be called God My O. Can I do jazz hands while you do that?
Yes, please do.
Please do.
So this is going to be God My O. And it's about, you know, I was wondering how long it would take for one of the religious people to blame the tragedy on the poor behavior of human beings and that this is God's retribution because we all remember what happened after 9-11 and what Jerry Falwell said.
Right.
And after Katrina.
I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU people for the American way, all of them who tried to secularize America, I point the thing in their face and say, you helped this happen.
Isn't it nice, though, that Jerry Falwell, him and Jesus hate all the same people?
They do.
For a second, I thought, how did they record Jesus?
But, you know, for saying something as outrageous as that, he did suffer horrible cuts.
Oh, wait a minute.
Nothing happened.
Nothing at all.
He was still on TV all the time after that.
All the time after that.
And then, of course, Katrina hit, and then another preacher.
Did God have anything to do with Katrina, people ask?
My answer is he allowed it, and perhaps he allowed it to get our attention so that we don't delude ourselves into thinking that all we have to do is put things back the way they were and life will be normal again.
Yeah, because you certainly, that guy doesn't sound deluded at all.
You don't want to do it.
Jerry Robertson?
That was Pastor Jerky Jerky Man.
And of course, when the Haiti disaster struck, we had Pat Robertson.
Yes.
Christy, something happened a long time ago in Haiti.
I'm not alone right now.
People may not want to talk about it.
They were under the heel of the French.
Oh, yeah, Christy.
You know, Napoleon III and whatever.
And whatever.
They got together and swore a pact to the devil.
They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French.
It's a true story.
True story.
First of all, how do you get all the people together to meet with the devil?
How do you, how do you, that was before the internet.
Yeah.
That was before cell phones.
That was before the devil had a blackberry.
That was before.
So that so they would come to your house and go, hey, we're all getting together to meet with the devil.
Hey, while you were out, we all got together.
We're meeting with the devil.
If you could make it next weekend.
And it's urgent because we want people in Haiti to suffer in a thousand years.
Yes.
There is something so delicious about somebody saying something evil nonchalantly.
Yes.
Well, actually, my favorite part about that clip is her as Christy going, like, oh, that felt good.
Rub me with some more fear-mongering.
Oh, inaccurate history feels good.
Denial of causal reality just gets me going.
Okay, so now we have a new tragedy.
And, well, my favorite new religious nut, the guy who believes in magic underpants, had this to say about it.
We can't see the connections here.
Now, look, there's connections.
I'm not saying God is, you know, causing earthquakes.
Oh, I'm not saying that, but I'm going to say it right now.
I'm not saying that he.
I'm not saying that either.
God, what God does is God's business.
I have no idea.
But I'll tell you this.
Whether you call it Gaia.
First of all, I love that he says I have no idea.
But that's not going to stop me right now from going on and saying that I think I do know what God does.
Okay, so here we go.
Well, I'm not saying that he...
What God does is God's business.
I have no idea.
But if I had to say that.
And I'll tell you this.
Whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus, there's a message being sent.
And that is, hey, you know that stuff we're doing?
Not really working out real well.
Maybe we should stop doing some of it.
I'm just saying.
And yesterday I got home and I was singing about all the messages that I could bring in, all the things that I could tell you.
And oh, I've got stuff on Hezbollah.
Oh, I have stuff on radical Islam in America that'll make your eyes fall out.
Or I could just tell you the answer.
And the answer is buckle up.
Buckle up because it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Don't do anything stupid.
What do you say we follow the big top 10?
You can call them Moses' 10 Commandments or 10 rules of um.
What do you say we start doing those things?
Because the things we are doing really suck.
Yes, and God's upset.
It's funny.
It's weird that God didn't have an earthquake and a tsunami during the Holocaust.
I think it's odd that he said that what he's going to tell us about Hezbollah is going to make our eyes fall out.
Whereas I really think it's the radioactivity that's going to make our eyes fall out.
That's just funny.
It's like right now, somehow what we're doing right now is horror.
What is this idea that God smites people?
Well, the only thing I would agree with him on is what we're doing that is not good.
And I'm not saying that God is punishing us for it, but what we're doing that is not good is doing cost cutting when building nuclear plants.
That's the only thing that I believe has a causal reaction.
No, no, no, it's gay marriage.
I'm going to blame the feminists and the abortionists and the gays and the transgendered and the people in the ACLU.
I waved my finger in their face and I said, you decided to build a nuclear plant without a proper cooling backup system.
And that's where it's absurd that God would even be involved with that because I think God's attitude is, I'm not going to waste my time smiting humans.
You guys can do it yourselves.
Go ahead.
Build the plant on the San Andreas Flault.
He's outsourced.
God is now on the street.
Yeah, he doesn't.
He's removed from it all.
He's letting, you know, we do a really good job of messing ourselves up.
I really like the fact that Glenn Beck is currently positioning himself to be a false prophet with plausible deniability.
Yes.
He wants all his bases covered, but yet to also be, you know, yeah.
Okay.
We'll be right back after this.
Don't forget the Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free at iTunes.
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Well, it's pronounced Door, but it's spelled D-O-R-E.
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you Bye.
Okay, so we're back.
And you know, 35 years ago, a guy named Dale G. Bridenbaugh and two of his colleagues at General Electric resigned from their jobs after becoming increasingly convinced that the nuclear reactor design that they were reviewing, the Mark I, was so flawed that it could lead to a devastating accident.
Questions?
Well, that's the truth.
That warnings have been issued for decades about possible flaws in the nuclear reactor.
It's currently at the center of this crisis.
Yes, so and then decades of that, and this is all about the Mark I, but how many of them are marked?
Five out of the six reactors at the crippled Fukushima plant are Mark I designs.
Okay, so those people were called the GE3.
They resigned over the, they resigned over the design of this particular nuclear plant that we are now experiencing meltdown in five of six of those plants.
And the reason why it's because they have, well, first of all, and here's what GE has to say about it.
Still, a spokesman for GE defended the technology this week, calling it, quote, the industry's workhorse with a proven track record of safety and reliability.
Until last week.
Yes, why don't we update it?
It's like George Bush kept us safe from the terrorists.
Except for 9-11.
Except for the time he didn't.
Yeah.
Well, these things, this has great reliability, except for the meltdown that's happening right now.
Well, the thing was, is that it was built 40 years ago.
I mean, it's like defending a Pinto now.
Well, my point is, you know, first of all, the Japanese, they bought a bunch of nuclear reactors in 1965 from General Electric, really.
On the nuclear reactor thing, the one time you buy American, the one time, you guys don't, you don't get Sony to maybe weigh in on that thing.
And if you're going to buy American, you go General Electric?
Have you ever bought anything from General Electric?
You got to go Sunbeam or Hamilton B. Show.
Have you ever watched Lando?
Come on.
And General Electric, by the way, makes many of the parts in our nuclear warheads.
So I'm just saying maybe we should get those checked because if Japan is any indicator, General Electric may be only able to cause a nuclear explosion by accident.
So those nuclear bombs are the workhorse of here.
So I'm listening to a guy talk about, they have a new design for the nuclear plants now.
It's not the old design.
He'll say a little bit about it.
Three plant.
You're looking at about $3 billion to $5 billion per plant for a new power plant.
So $3 to $4 or $5 billion for a new power plant.
Okay.
Now, the good news is the new power plants are, again, the very modern designs are extremely, these are robust designs, but they're even more robust because they're walkaway safe.
They set up a convection cooling circuit automatically, and so therefore there's never an issue with the kind of issue we've had today that we're seeing.
We wouldn't have that in a brand new plant.
All right.
So that guy, correct me if I'm wrong, but what that guy said was we now have better technology that makes it impossible for nuclear plants to melt down because of however that he said convection.
I don't know what that means.
I have an oven that's convection.
It means the crust on the rods is much tastier.
Oh, okay.
You get like a brown browning around that.
And it cooks quicker.
Evenly.
Yeah, very easy.
But they don't want to get the old.
The thing about the old designs is that they're very elegant and stylish, you know, like Eames chairs or mid-century architectures.
Clean lines.
I like clean lines on my nuclear power plant.
You don't want to get rid of that, even though it's dangerous.
I mean, that's what they're literally.
So literally, the people of Japan are experiencing this catastrophic nuclear meltdown because they didn't want to spend $4 to $5 billion to replace nuclear plants on the oceans on the shore of the ocean in an earthquake zone.
$45 billion.
I still can't understand why they would build a plant that could be reached by a tsunami.
They had a lot of people.
Plus the name of the resort there is Tsunami Shores.
I mean, they really should have been...
So fortify.
They had no choice.
I mean, like, oh, really?
Well, Japan, look, first of all, you need, you want to, for this very reason, you want to build a nuclear plant near the water.
That's why we have one not far from here near the water.
You want access to large amounts of water for cooling.
And the other thing is, Japan has no natural resources.
So when they need power for a local grid, this is like their dominant choice.
Hey, you guys, we're up against a brick, but before we go get there, Bill O'Reilly called in and left me a voicemail.
Oh, really?
Door.
This is O'Reilly.
I know that you and your crunchy friends are going to try to use this nuclear mishap to push your agenda as if we can replace nuclear power with wind farms, hemp smoke, or gaze on rollerblades.
Well, I happen to know a thing or two about nuclear power because they frequently go nuclear on members of my staff, okay?
And all it takes for my rod to cool down is a maker's mark on the rocks and a back massage.
And throw loofah in there.
So far, we know that some radiation has leaked into the air.
But it should be noted that we're exposed to radiation all the time, whether you're lying on the beach, microwaving popcorn, or driving a hybrid car.
Yes, scientists and Kenny Loggins would agree that Japan is one step closer to the danger zone, but by no means is it time to get foot loose and panic.
I've got news for you.
If God didn't want people to have nuclear power, he wouldn't have split the original atom for me, paving the way for future nuclear scientists.
Is God punishing the Japanese people for worshiping at the altar of Hello Kitty and Scatcorn?
I don't know.
Now isn't the time for questions.
It's the time to pitch in and help build a better Japan with more Roman Catholics and toilets you can sit on.
The hysteria over the nuclear reactors is similar to the situation with Hurricane Katrina, when a handful of folks who couldn't swim decided to ruin the fun for folks who could.
And the mainstream media blamed the action of a handful of hooligans on President Bush, who remained calm under pressure.
So calm that he didn't even react for days.
So I agree with the Japanese prime minister when he said we should turn this nuclear frown upside down and focus on the positive, like massive weight loss and fewer people on the subway.
The Japanese culture emphasizes cooperation and obedience, something this country could use more of, instead of people like you who get bent out of shape when a polar bear drowns or cops shoot a black kid.
So give me a call back on the cell.
It's St. Patrick's Day, so let's go put on some plaid skirts, drink some green beer, and go beat up some fags.
Okay, and you're listening to The Jimmy Dore Show on Pacifica.
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Okay, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I am joined in studio from Mystery Science 3000 and cinematictitanic.com.
It's Frank Conneth.
Also next to him from Dinner and a Movie on TABT TBS.
Wow, that was one of those T's.
One of those T's, TTBS, and from AskRepublican.com.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
And from Team Yasamura, Twittering, my favorite Twitter, it's Robert Yasamura.
Right now, coming up on the rest of today's show, we're going to hear from Jim Hightower.
He's going to stop by and bum us out in a folksy voice.
And then we're going to get back and talk a little bit more about the news coverage of the nuclear event.
Moron calls in and maybe even a little surprise.
And right now, Jim Hightower's got something on his mind.
It's the unbalanced state of policies on aliens.
Every state legislature has its share of incompetent, insensitive, and often incomprehensible goobers sitting in seats of power.
Sometimes you have to wonder who helps them work the doorknobs to get out of their houses each morning.
For some reason, Texas seems to have more than its share of grade A goobers serving in our state capital.
One is Debbie Riddle, a right-wing Republican ideologue from the town of Tomball.
Representative Riddle is presently in a pout.
She is offended that so many people have been offended by An immigration bill she introduced.
It calls for fining and jailing people who, quote, intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly hire undocumented immigrants.
Okay, that's a pretty popular position in our state.
But then she stumbled and tumbled by adding a little exemption.
People who hire unauthorized laborers to work in their homes will not be fined or jailed.
Yes, it's a nanny loophole for the privileged class.
They rail about people they callously brand as illegal aliens.
Yet, they want a steady supply of these low-wage, powerless workers to care for their children, clean their houses, and tend their yards.
They don't want to mess with checking documents, so Debbie blithely gives them a pass, allowing them to hate illegals and have them too.
How happy?
She then demonstrated her deep grasp of the immigration issue by explaining that Latinos are coming into our state illegally because we put, quote, a big old bowl of candy out for them.
Yeah, Madam Lawmaker, those housekeeping and yard jobs, as well as chicken plucking and roofing jobs, are plenty cushy and well-paying, which is why so many of your neighbors are scrambling to grab such work for themselves.
This is Jim Highter saying, Pious politicos should try walking in the shoes of people they denigrate before they legislate.
Reality can be a useful teacher if you're willing to listen to reality.
Okay, thanks, Jim.
Jim Hydower can be heard almost every week on the Jimmy Door show.
Right now, I want to talk about, I was watching, you know, I'm trying to wrap my head around exactly how big this earthquake was.
And I just, I turned on CNN and they had, they perfectly explained it perfectly.
This is, ugh.
Happens.
You know, you have the first big pop that happens.
And then, you know, things don't just stay into place and not hold.
It kind of takes a little while for things to settle and move a little bit.
You know, if you think of a pile of oranges maybe at the grocery store, you know how you take one orange out of there and everything kind of falls down.
You start walking away and like five seconds later, another orange drops down.
You're like, oh, I thought it was done.
It's sort of like that.
See, that's what the earthquake was like.
So earthquakes have vitamin C?
I think so.
And then they're stacked on a shelf at a store.
That's what Earth.
I don't disagree with that lady.
I don't think that's a bad analogy.
You don't think it's a bad analogy?
I think there's a thousand better than that, but I don't think that's a horrible analogy.
I don't think I'm just upset that she walks away when the oranges fall down and she doesn't try to do anything to pick them up or anything.
Well, my whole thing is, I've never had that experience, by the way, where I pulled an orange out and walked away five feet and went, oh, I thought I had it.
Well, what?
Who has this experience?
Actually, you know what, you guys?
I'm going to listen to it again.
A pile of oranges maybe at the grocery store.
And you know how you take one orange out of there and everything kind of falls down?
You start walking away and like five seconds later, another orange drops down.
You're like, oh, I thought it was done.
But you're not really paying attention because you're jamming your pockets with free food.
There have been repercussions of that statement.
She's already had her Ralph's Club card taken away.
I don't understand why she was saying.
Then you walk away and go, oh, I thought it was done.
Who has that reaction?
Yeah.
Over oranges.
It's stacked up.
That was my point.
By the way, it's not like this is complicated fluid dynamics.
It's not like you can't just have a geologist come in and explain like, oh, here's how the wave energy moves.
It's not like.
Just do that.
Don't give me some crappy analogy that doesn't make sense.
Thank you, Robert.
Thank you.
Right in your face, Paul.
Thank you.
Okay, let's get to some.
So now I'm watching the news, and it's just some of the stuff they were saying, like here.
Communities around the power plant have been evacuated.
Tens of thousands of residents have been taken to emergency shelters, and some 140,000 more people have been told to remain indoors.
Yeah, so they tell them to stay inside because that protects you from the radiation because the radiation is carried in the air and air couldn't possibly get into your house.
In fact, we all know when you go in your house, you start breathing different air in your house than it's outside.
And then once you breathe up all that air inside your house, then you just press the oxygen button in your house and then you get fresh oxygen, right?
Isn't that what happens?
what they're talking about is the house will protect people from alpha particles and beta particles.
It won't protect them from...
So like cesium, I don't know a lot.
My father knows a lot and I sat there.
No, you know a lot.
You know a lot.
Continue.
I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to interrupt.
I just had to.
Like it will protect them from certain low levels of radiation.
It won't protect them from anything that gets into them through breathing, which probably alpha particles and beta in this circumstance won't.
It won't protect them from the groundwater being hurt.
But more to the point, the reason why they're saying stay in your house is they're worried that there would be a lot of casualties from panic, from people panicking and trying to all get out of town all at once.
So suck on that, Jimmy Dore!
The more layman's terms would be about don't leave your house is pretend you're Frank Coniff on any given day.
So just a caveat, put a shotgun across your lap and stare at a naked light bulb at the end of the day.
Are they also the constant depressive state will keep you safe?
Are they supposed to also imagine that someone or something will come rescue them?
Oh, I don't know.
Probably Godot, I'm guessing.
That's what I do when I get into a depressed state.
I stare at the wall and think, well, maybe somebody from show business will call and say, here's something we want to pay you a million dollars for.
Really?
That's what you do.
When I get depressed, I stand in the corner and cry, and then I look at my dog and say, why won't you lay down with me?
That's what I do.
And he's like, because I wanted to be in the chair.
Guys, you know, there's internet.
It's a boom for people with depression.
It has been for me.
It helps me distract myself from my own thoughts.
That's what I need to do first thing in the morning.
Yeah.
While we're on the subject, can I go ahead and plug a podcast that I'm putting together?
It's going to be just about that.
It's going to be called the Mental Illness Happy Hour.
And it's going to be a podcast for and about creative people who will live with depression.
You might as well do that because every podcast I've ever been on immediately descends into a discussion of coping skills.
Yeah.
Like immediately, like we're all like, so you can mention it, but I'm going to cut it out.
Okay, okay.
Because that's not what it's going to be.
That sounds great.
This is not for the weak, weak-minded.
This is for people who can handle their problems.
No matter what they are, you just keep going.
You shove it down and keep going.
Like a hot coal and you let it heat you through the winter.
Yeah, and you let it just like turn like a tourniquet on your chest, like there's a thousand-pound piece of metal on your chest.
And then, oh, and then you go out and do a comedy show.
By the way, there are like hundreds of Japanese nuclear scientists who are going to die because they're trying to save the population.
Yeah.
Well, that's the workers at the plant.
It is the most noble thing I've probably seen in my life.
Yeah, the most heroic thing I've ever seen.
Yeah, but those workers.
But they're so inspiring that Scott Walker has offered to strip away their rights.
Wow!
Nice!
Frank Carniff, ladies and gentlemen.
Those workers are enjoying their rich health and pension benefits right now.
That's what they – oh, the rich health and pension.
You know, I look at like those nuclear plant workers and the firemen that raced up the stairs at 9-11, and I just – Even so, you're.
Oh, wow.
Well, when you think of them, it's, you know, it's the GOP way to think of them.
It's just too bad they have unions.
Yes.
They were overpaid.
Those heroic people over to get benefits and suck money away from billionaires.
Yes.
And that hurts everybody.
That hurts everybody.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Kudlow says you have to worry about the economy first and then people later, because if you don't have an economy, how's that going to help people?
Kudlow sits at home with piles of money and puts his arm around and goes, there, there.
There, there.
It's all going to be okay.
He's very comforting to money.
You know what?
Now, I'm going to play.
I played this at the top of the show, but I'll play it again.
The latest weather forecast, however, gives some reason for optimism.
It says the wind will turn, taking the radioactive cloud out to sea.
Is that really a solution?
Is that really?
Yeah, so now there's going to be radiation in the sea.
Well, it's going to contaminate all the fish.
But if it's got to go somewhere, it's better that it goes out to sea than over a town or something.
I just felt like they should have said it still horrible.
Well, they're saying that the radioactive cloud might come to California, but that's just because it's shopping a screenplay.
So, Frank, you got pulled over on the way.
I was because I was so excited to get here, I rushed over.
Pull me.
But he let me off with a warning, though.
He said, don't see Battle Los Angeles.
I think I've been in this town too long because I have to get a colonoscopy, and I'm thinking of directing it myself.
I used actually the only time in L.A. that I ever hear the phrase recurring is when I get an MRI.
These are great jokes.
I think we've exhausted all our L.A. jokes.
Okay, now I want to, we're going to shift topics.
We're going to get off the nuclear stuff and we're going to talk about, we're going to go back to Wisconsin.
And now a couple of guys have let their guard down recently.
Scott Fitzgerald, state senator from Wisconsin, one of the nicest corporate mouthpieces to ever sell out his own people.
Scott Fitzgerald, the great gas bag.
Dear Lord, Frank, God damn it.
Is your chair on fire?
Because you are hot today.
So Scott Fitzgerald went on.
And, you know, this is all the reason why they have to strip unions of their power, it's so they can balance the budget for the people, right?
That's well, Scott Fitzgerald kind of really let the cat out of the bag.
If we win this battle and the money is not there under the auspices of the unions, certainly what you're going to find is President Obama is going to have a much difficult, a much more difficult time getting elected and winning the state of Wisconsin.
Ah.
That's what it was always all about.
Oh, so that's what it's about.
And he's like Homer.
Don't say donut.
Don't say donut.
Donut.
And here was Karl Rove kind of say.
Every one of those 602,000 people had literally perhaps several hundred dollars worth of union dues going into the political coffers of their union to spend on politics.
So yeah, you keep having a couple hundred thousand people each year.
Half a million people leave the labor union movement every year.
And pretty soon you start having crimp in the political budgets of these unions.
It has a direct effect on the presidential widget.
Wow.
I find it so hard to believe Carl Rove, though, manipulating things like that.
So, I mean, that's, it couldn't be any clearer that that's what this is about.
And yet, still, Brian Williams will not say that.
He won't talk.
Well, the unions say that this isn't about, but well, what do you say, Brian?
What do you think?
Do you really expect him to speak the truth on a show produced by General Electric?
Isn't that fair?
Do you really?
When you think about that, do you really?
Yeah, I know.
First of all, you know, like ruining collective bargaining does nothing for them in the short term.
They're still on the hook for the pensions.
That's the big thing.
Yes.
And then the other thing is, is that, you know, there's there, I think it's like eight people on each side of the aisle in Wisconsin are going to get recalled this year and probably many more next year.
And a recall election is very expensive.
So anything that they're going to save, I think is going to get spent on those recalls.
Oh, yeah, they're not, like you said, they're not going to save anything anyway.
No, that's not what it's about.
It's not about.
It's all about long-term Republican strategizing.
So they come.
So they're coming after the work.
So what happened was, just put it in a nutshell, was that the criminal class, which would be the Wall Street class and the people and their lobbyists and the people that are in government, the criminal class, what they did was they changed all these rules and they found a way over the last 15, 20, 30 years to funnel money from working people upward to the super wealthy rich, the criminal class.
So they've done that.
Then they crashed the economy.
After they took all your money, they crashed your economy, kicked people out of their houses, took their houses, still kept all the money.
And then the people who were getting kicked out of their houses, their tax money went to fund the bad bets that those people made.
And they still create a bubble and bet against them.
They're keeping all the money, by the way.
They never give back any of the money.
The money, when the bet goes sour, the people, the taxpayers, give them the money.
So now they've done this.
They've taken all of our money, all the working people.
Now they're coming after the unions.
They're coming after the unions' pensions.
They're coming after the unions' medical benefits.
And then after they get rid of that, they're coming after your Social Security.
And they're coming after your Medicare.
This is really happening right now.
And the guy in charge of the Deficit Commission, Alan Cranston, who was – you know, there's Oh, I'm sorry, Simpson.
I said Cranston.
That's right, Cranston.
Alan Cranston was even older than he's around anymore.
Alan Simpson, who's one of the, you know, that guy doesn't need any Viagra to be a hard on.
And so here, and this is the guy now, he was in charge of the deficit commission.
These are the people who are lowering the standards of standard of living for working people in America.
This is the guy whose big idea to balance the budget is you have to rein in.
He's the one who said Social Security is a pig with 300 million tits, is what he said.
And then he had to walk that back, and he said I meant teats.
And so here's what he had to say about, well, he was talking about we're going to have to lower benefits for working people in the future.
And he's saying, in order to, if we care about our grandkids, this is what he's saying, if we care about our grandkids.
And here's what the rest of it.
By doing nothing, if they care at all about their children or grandchildren, sometimes I doubt that.
I think, you know, grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents.
They're walking on their pants with their cap on Bikers, listening to the enemy man, the Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog, and they don't like them.
Okay.
The crazy kids today.
God.
I'll play it again.
Here we go.
For the Christmas presents, they're walking on their pants with their cap on Bikers, listening to the Enema Man, the Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog, and they don't like them.
The Enema Man and the Snoopy Snow.
Crazy kids with their hula hoops and the crazy view.
Who is he, Jack Carter?
Who are these kids with the spinning doctors and the new math?
Oh, this guy is really a powerhouse thinker where economics and social phenomena.
He is his finger on the pulse.
That's the guy who's in charge of the smell mothballs coming off of him.
His own grandson obviously gave him the finger and returned to his texting and pissed him away.
Let me just say, like, I agree with his grandson.
I, jewel for the Christmas presents.
They're walking on their pants with their cap on backfirst listening to the enema man, the snoopy, snoopy, poop dog, and they don't like him.
The enema man.
The enema man.
You know what?
I think that he's doing that on purpose.
Oh, yeah, obviously.
I think he's saying, I think he knows it's Eminem and not the Anima Man.
And I think he's, he, he, you know, I, I, he, but in the 50s, he disparaged Rosemary Clooney, so it's just never happened.
I think the fact that he's doing it on purpose says something that, like, his sense of humor is that old.
Like, it, yes, I mean, like, he had that kind of like, this is pretty funny.
I said boopy.
I said snoopy poopy doopy boop.
The only really result of that little monologue was he got hired to write for Leno.
But other than that.
Oh, hang on, you guys.
I got to take this.
I think Moron's calling me.
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy.
How you doing?
It's moron.
Hey, moron.
What's going on, buddy?
Jim, you know me.
I'm easily manipulated to vote against my own economic interests.
You are.
And to blame those lower on the economic ladder for my problems.
What brings you comfort?
But the one thing that does bring me comfort, Jim, is that my Lord Jesus the Christ hates exactly the same people that I hate.
Really?
Isn't that nice?
So, Moron, what do you think about Japan, huh?
Yeah, I just wish all you pansy liberals wouldn't freak out about it.
Freaking out about a nuclear.
Yeah, I mean, freaking a big deal.
So once every three million years, we have a little problem.
Moron, we've had major nuclear incidents three times in the last 40 years.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly what?
Very safe.
Very safe?
Come on, Jim.
Come on, what?
Come on, Jim.
Just because a plane crashes, you don't stop flying, right?
No, well, if it almost wiped out half a country, we wouldn't.
Just because an oil rig explodes, we don't stop drilling for oil.
We do for a little while until we figure out how to fix it.
And just because the Challenger space shuttle blew up, we didn't stop shuttle flights, right?
No, we actually did for 32 months, and we formed a commission to investigate the causes.
Yeah, we did.
This just exposes the unholy alliance between the environmentalists, not jobs, and the Democratic Party.
I don't know.
What do you mean, the unholy?
Just like the Wisconsin thing exposed the unholy alliance between the unions and the Democratic Party.
Why do you keep saying unholy?
What is that?
What is that?
Unholy.
Yeah, I know.
What does that mean, unholy?
It's not good.
Yeah, I know, but what's unholy?
I don't understand what you're meaning by unholy.
That's what Sean Hannity calls it.
Oh, I get what you're saying now.
So when workers, like teachers, cops, firemen, nurses, when they get together and they actually get a voice in government, then they get a political party to listen to them and respond to them.
That's called unholy.
Now you got it, pal.
Yo, I think you donate it.
That's why we're bankrupt.
Okay, buddy.
If you're bankrupt, why did you donate?
Shut up, Teres.
Moron, what did you donate it to what?
For the Japan, we sent money to the Blue Cross.
For the what?
Yeah, we send money to the Blue Cross.
Moron, you're supposed to send it to the Red Cross.
No, no, we don't got Red Cross.
We got Blue Cross through my job, so that's what we did.
How?
Trace, what's wrong?
My neck hurts.
I slept wrong.
Oh, check it out.
What I got you.
What is it?
It's the Side Sleeper Pro.
The Side Sleeper Pro.
It's the secret to sleeping on your side.
It looks like a big pillow.
What does it do?
Well, sleeping on a standard pillow causes your head to tilt forward, placing pressure on your neck and shoulder as the vertebrate curves.
Set a side sleeper pro guides your head, neck, and vertebra into natural alignment, Terese.
It relieves all the pressure on the neck while unrestricting the airways, and the tail cradles your back to ensure correct posture.
The tail.
Yeah, it's just the bottom pot.
Well, don't call it the tail.
It makes it sound close.
It's my favorite pillow.
Why do you like this one so much?
Well, it's the only pillow out there with an air well.
A what?
An air well for your ear to go in.
That's nice.
I think I'm going to like this pillow.
And it'll help with your snoring too, Trees.
I don't snore, moron.
You snore, Terese, like a bear.
Come on.
What are you doing?
Trees, I'm on it.
Just snore, okay?
You swear in your sleep.
What?
Yes, you do.
You sound like a skip a minute with Tarant.
Yeah, well, at least I don't snore like a moose.
You sign a bitch.
Oh, look now who's swearing.
Oh, the earwells.
Nice.
I told you you would like it.
That was right.
I gotta go, Jim.
Bye.
Okay, that was another Tuesdays with Moron.
Moron, check it in.
They have a beautiful relationship.
A side sleeper pro.
That's a nice pillow.
Yeah.
It's got a little place for your ear.
Sticks fits right in there.
As somebody who constantly wakes up a heat, I gotta say it's kind of sounds like maybe, maybe I need that.
I love the fact that you never run out of products to make fun of.
That is, if there's a...
America is still making things.
They're all starts making the Side Sleeper Pro and the Gluggle Jug.
I loved it.
The fact that it's the Side Sleeper Pro.
Like, there's an amateur edition of this.
You don't want the Side Sleeper Basic.
No.
No.
What if you decide that you want to turn pro?
Besides Sleeper Pro, you can edit movies on it, too.
The Side Sleeper Pro, the Gluggle Jug, the Kangaroo Purse.
They're all great.
You know, America makes great things.
Have we looked at the Fushini yet?
Yes.
What is that?
It's just a glass ball.
I've tried to get Moron to buy that for Terese, but he thinks it's too new agey.
He's not into it.
He doesn't see the practical side of it.
You can dazzle your friends with just a little bit of practice.
Do you have one?
No, but man, do I'm saving up.
And when I say that America makes great things, I mean, of course, China.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
We all know that.
Yeah.
When you say America makes stuff, that's like the woman took care of her child.
You know, her nanny did it.
Yeah, right.
She told the nanny to do it.
What I mean is that China, we send our money to China and then they take that, build factories, employ people, make stuff, and then sell it back to us.
We very productively make paper that rich people pass around to each other.
Yes.
That's what fuels our economy.
And then we take some of that paper and instead of making things like China, we'll make like a war in Afghanistan and we'll ship in gasoline at $200 a gallon.
That's what we do.
That's what we make.
And we don't have, but when we actually borrow money from the Chinese to do that, that's right.
As I've said before on the show, we're a bunch of capitalists borrowing money from a bunch of communists so we can bring democracy to a bunch of Muslims who don't even want it.
By the way, speaking of China and India, that is the big fear with this nuclear issue is that their energy needs are about to go through the roof.
China and India.
China and India.
Well, they have the safe reactors now.
I build them.
I'm all for that guy.
According to Mr. Scientist on CNN that I was listening to, he said they got the new reactions, reactors that uses convection.
It's the easy baked convection nuclear thing.
And you don't have to.
So I'm saying, but they're not going to go, like, there's 104 nuclear plants in the United States.
Now, if, so, what's up?
So that'd be 40 years old.
That would be 400 billion.
If to replace all of them, that would be $400 billion.
Right.
Right?
To replace all of them, which we don't need to replace all of them because some of them are, right, would be the new one or no?
Are they all old?
They could probably be retrofit, but the problem is that the Mark I was retrofit and it didn't handle this.
But it also, I think it also depends where they are.
Like, if it is on a fault line, yeah, we need to get in there and do this.
And they're not going to do it, but you know they're not going to do it.
No, because it's not the real problem, the real problem with nuclear power in this country, the reason why nobody wants it is it's not cost-efficient on the front end.
And does anyone ever question, why are you building it on a fault line?
No, no one.
No one ever says, hey, it's on a fault line.
Why?
Because it's cheap.
We got it cheaper that way.
All right.
You know what?
Bill O'Reilly called me again.
I got you,
dope, Ed.
Why do you think they're called dope, by the way?
Because you end up dopey.
Now, it's St. Patrick's Day.
If you were a real American, you'd put the bomb down and go get hammered like everyone else.
Special contest on billo riley.com.
How much green beard does it take to turn a six-foot-five-inch bully into a raging asshole?
Great question.
None.
Later, Pinheads.
Okay, that's Bill O'Reilly.
He's got my number.
I keep trying to call him back, but we always miss each other.
And we just have a few minutes left on today's show.
Remember, last week I played some stuff by Bill O'Reilly from Pap Buchanan that kind of surprised everybody.
It's a simple fact that the interests of corporate America and the interests of the country have diverged.
If General Electric is building plants in the United States, that's good for America.
But if they're going to make themselves more efficient by shutting down a plant here and opening it up in China or in Mexico or somewhere else, that may be good for GE and its shareholders and stockholders like me, but it is not good for America and is not good for the workers of America.
And that's what's killing these unions.
It's Republicans as well as Democrats who are in the back pocket of the business roundtable, authorizing them to go abroad and produce there and then export free to the United States of America.
Okay, I'm going to tease it because we don't have enough time.
But next week, I'm going to give you what Jack Welch said back to Pap Buchanan on that topic.
We're up against the clock.
And I just wanted to let everybody know that coming up, the Jimmy Doer show has got some shows going on.
What do you think about that?
That's right.
April 2nd is the big show over at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, the new hotspot to see comedy.
It's Pop and the Politics Show.
That's right.
Paul, you're going to be at that show.
That's on April 2nd.
April 2nd at Meltdown Comics.
It's popping politics with everybody.
Plus, Chris Hardwick is our special guest.
That's at 7522 West Sunset Boulevard.
You can go to JimmyDoorComedy.com and click on the link there to get tickets.
And if you enjoyed today's show, please remember, stop by JimmyDoorComedy.com, click on donate, because it's your donations that really do make this show possible.
We want to keep bringing you this show for free every week.
And we can only do that with your support.
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Okay, I want to say thanks to everybody who makes the show possible.
Today's show was written by Jonathan Corbett, Robert Yasimura, Mike McRae did the voice of Bill O'Reilly.
And today's guests were Frank Connor from CinematicTitanic.com, Paul Gilmartin from AskerRepublican.com, and Robert Yasamura, Twittering at Team Yasamura.