The Delingpole brothers convene to consider electrity-driven, plucked string instruments, not using one’s smart phone and the pros and cons of registering chickens (that you may or not own) and lots of other stuff. ↓ ↓ ↓If you need silver and gold bullion - and who wouldn't in these dark times? - then the place to go is The Pure Gold Company. Either they can deliver worldwide to your door - or store it for you in vaults in London and Zurich. You even use it for your pension. Cash out of gold whenever you like: liquidate within 24 hours. https://bit.ly/James-Delingpole-Gold
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Welcome to the Deling Party with me, James Delingpole.
And I know I always say I'm excited about this week's special guest, but it's not a guest this week.
Before we meet him, a quick word from one of our wonderful sponsors, James here.
A quick word about gold and silver.
Now I've been talking about two companies on my podcast for quite some time.
The Pure Gold Company which delivers gold and silver bullion either to your doorstep or it will store it in a vault for you.
And Monetary Metals which is a way of owning gold while being paid interest on it.
Now, if you'd paid attention to these suggestions, let's call them, when I started talking about it, you would have made a mint, almost.
In the case of silver, the silver price has rocketed.
It's hovering around $30 an ounce now.
I think it was 18 dollars when I started talking about it roughly.
Anyway, you'd have made a packet.
I think, regardless of the fluctuations in the market, gold and silver are things you should be owning.
I'm not a financial expert, but I own gold myself, I own silver myself, because I think that it is a hedge against these crazy markets.
So, you'll find the details below the blurb on my podcast.
The Pure Gold Company delivers gold and silver bullion to your doorstep, or it will store it in a vault for you.
And also monetary metals, which is a way of owning physical gold again.
You've got to own physical gold, not paper gold.
Paper gold is a con in my view.
And you get paid interest on it in the form of more gold.
Check them out.
You said I'm not a guest.
I'm just not special.
That's all.
I'm still a guest.
No, I said, well, how are you anyway, Hooky?
Are you alluding to my new midlife crisis?
I might just be hinting at it.
I wonder if people can guess from your nickname, Hooky, what I might be alluding to.
It was a very good choice of reference.
I approve very strongly because of all the bass guitar heroes I could have mentioned, he's the one that springs to mind.
Who are the other ones?
What's your best Oh, exactly.
I mean, Lemmy, I suppose, was one, wasn't he?
I thought he was a dog.
No, he named himself after my dog.
Oh, OK.
But there's somebody who used to do this thing called slap bass.
I think he was in Level 42, was he?
Yeah, Mark, whatever he's called.
All the names are disappearing now, but I don't want to do wanky slap bass.
It's just a bit too wanky.
But I woke up one day deciding I had to have a bass guitar.
That is such a good thing.
I went with it.
I'm so happy for you, actually.
Well, you know what?
It's been a revelation because it turns out it's bloody easy.
Is it?
And the rock stars have been pulling the wool over our eyes all this time.
Actually, the bass player.
There's always jokes about how drummers aren't musicians and bass players are pretty much halfway to being musicians.
But it is really very easy.
And they get to be on stage, they get to be rock stars, they get all the chicks.
But all they're doing is going...
And it's a piece of piss!
So, in a week, I can play along with various Radiohead songs.
I can do Pixie's Monkey Gone to Heaven and Where is My Mind.
It's stunning, isn't it?
No, it's good!
It does help that the song was being played alongside.
I might have had trouble identifying Monkey Gone to Heaven from just the bass line.
Otherwise, yeah.
And now, when I hear a song now, all I hear is the bass.
It's very simple.
It's kind of like...
Two of the four strings and only about two frets.
But the thing is with bass, you've just got to keep in rhythm.
And there's no point forgetting what note it is.
It's better you play a bum note than not play a note because you've just got to keep in the rhythm because you're driving the rest of your imaginary band.
I seem to remember from the days when I believed in rock music and thought it was authentic and not just a kind of psy-op to brainwash us into drugs and deviant sex and stuff.
I seem to remember people saying, yeah, it's the bass section that really holds the band together.
You know, they're really important.
But probably it was a bass player who said that.
And a lot of the time I think it's because, and I'm going to cause such a lot of trouble by saying this, if you've got chicks in the band you need to give them something fairly simple and undemanding to do.
A chick with a bass is a deeply sexy thing and Turns out, yes, you can bring your girlfriend along and give her an instrument and she can learn it in a weekend.
Yes.
Do you remember the days when we used to fancy girly bass players who had short haircuts so they looked like boys?
Oh, actually, long-haired ones would have done as well.
But we were into that thing that girls looked like boys.
And I don't think either of us was aware at the time we were being programmed in this way.
It was part of the kind of programmed Androgyny, the programmed rejection of traditional sex.
Well, I ended up marrying a girl that looked like a boy and fortunately she remained female and does to this day.
You know, Lydia was quite boyish when I met her, wasn't she?
Well, it was the thing, wasn't it?
You think about Tank Girl.
I mean, I still hate Tank Girl with a vengeance.
I really do.
And that stupid fucking kangaroo.
Booger.
Yeah, a booger.
You know, I had a falling out.
Well, I said falling out.
That would imply that I was ever into him.
With Jamie Hewlett, the creator of Yeah, of Tank Girl and a member of Gorillaz, I suppose, by default.
This was when I was lined up to do an interview with Gorillaz.
And then I think they went through some of my articles and realised that I hated Tank Girl.
So it was like that meme of the baby running into the room.
Seeing what's going on and doing a U-turn.
That was guerrillas when they realised James Stellington was lined up to do... I have actually spent time with Damon Albarn and interviewed him.
And he is an insufferable wanker.
I mean, you know, you think that's just his public image, but no, he really is an insufferable wanker.
I think a lot of the... Look, now we know what we know about Rock music and pop music generally.
That, you know, it's all kind of, it's all about the satanic literature.
Daisy!
No!
Go away!
I think I need some of your dog training skills.
LOL.
Well, mine are lying out in the garden at the moment, because it's a lovely sunny afternoon here in Worcester, so they don't need any disciplining.
They've been quite nice.
That's what the dog should be doing here as well.
It just heard me go upstairs, but it should be lying in the garden, like a... Yeah, it's got access to garden at the moment, hasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Going out killing rabbits or something.
Anyway, sorry, before we say something interesting, won't we, about About rock and the debauched sex and drugs, which I'm still pinning my hopes on for my fledgling bass playing career, but we'll see how that goes.
But, you know, if you're saying it's a non-starter, then I'll never swear.
No, I'm saying you won't get to... I won't fall for it.
...pole play levels of fame, because I don't think you're going to join the One Eye Club.
And I don't think you're going to make little homage to whatever your presiding demon is.
I mean, like Taylor Swift does.
All my songs are about having sympathy for the devil, that sort of thing.
Yeah.
I probably wouldn't be doing that.
But you read that.
Funnily enough.
What, the Taylor Swift?
But the concert goes with memory loss.
You just can't remember what happened at the Taylor Swift concert.
That kind of thing.
Really?
Yeah.
It's really sinister.
Oh God.
I get very upset.
When I go shopping in Waitrose, the magazine section has this Taylor Swift magazine and I look at the picture of him on the cover and it just makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Anyway, so you were going to say, The reason I actually did go ahead and get this bass, just to finish off this bit of the conversation, because you don't want to make the whole thing about this.
Apart from that...
Our good friend Andy was playing at Abbey Roberts' birthday party which we held at the barn in Ledbury recently.
It was a fantastic event.
It was very chilled and funny.
I was gutted I couldn't make it.
Lots of drink was drunk and lots of laughter was had.
But Andy got up and played A few songs.
Now, while I was comparing at the Stand in the Light Festival, we realised there was a maximum number of songs you can get away with playing to a cold audience without annoying them, and we decided that number was four.
But Andy absolutely... He played a blinder.
He had four songs.
One of them was a Prefab Sprout song.
The other one I hadn't heard before.
But he'd written two himself.
So it's just him on the guitar.
The two songs were... One was called Everything They Told You Is A Lie.
You can guess what that's about.
Fantastic song.
And the other one's called They Hate You And They Want To Kill You.
And the chorus goes something along the lines of, they hate you and they want to kill you.
Once you work this out, everything else makes sense.
It's absolutely brilliant.
So I thought, you know what?
He needs a strong bass section behind him when he takes this on the road.
Yeah.
So that's me.
That's good.
And then you should go on the tour of schools, like Rameez did.
Yes.
It's the next stage of the journey to enlightenment, isn't it?
So I'm just doing up my flyer.
We're going to hit all the major Awake festivals next year.
I've got until then to prepare.
Do you think we're going to be alive then?
Well, we keep on banking on not being, but we somehow still are.
Well, I wouldn't say banking on not being.
It's more... I'm always... I don't know whether pleasantly surprised is the right word, but I am always surprised each new year that I haven't been offed yet by the cabal.
Yeah.
Well, I still keep that in the back of my mind, that they might off you, and I'll have to be like a Hitchens or something.
Yes, you will.
I'll have to step up and be a replacement, but not quite as good, Delingpole.
And there will be some who say, you know what, I prefer him to his brother.
Yeah, but there'll be many more who say, yeah, but he's not a patch on the Del.
As they'll probably call me, the Del.
The Dell.
Or something, I don't know.
Except, except, I hate to say this in this relationship, but I am almost the Peter Hitchens one, because I can't do drinking, I can't do late nights, whereas you can, so you are more like the H. I'm not much better.
I mean, I can have maybe three pints to your two, but you know, you can't even do two.
I really can't.
I mean, it probably gives me thrush.
Sorry ladies and little boys who want to stay with me.
You're making me snort.
I wanted to tell you something.
Oh yes, my new thing.
Do you know what my new thing is?
I should do, but I don't.
Why don't I know what your new thing is?
My new thing is not going anywhere near, if I can possibly help it, my mobile phone.
I've always hated it.
One of the reasons I realise I'm so crap with correspondence is that I read the stuff on the phone, say, But then I so hate using the little keyboard.
And you tell yourself you'll get back to them on a computer and you never do.
That's it, yeah.
And then you lose the original contact.
Or you can't remember whether it was a Twitter DM, or whether it was on Telegram, or it was on WhatsApp, or whether it was on... Yeah, exactly.
All that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it sucks.
Okay.
So, I'd already been getting quite wary of this evil device.
And then I've done various podcasts with people who...
are anti-phone and they say you should get off your phone.
The most recent one was with Matt Landman, the Frankenskies guy, who also sells... Do you know Matt Landman?
You'll hear the podcast.
He also does a range of anti-EMF clothing.
Not as in anti the band that did Unbelievable, but... Unbelievable.
And he sort of Well, this is what I can't work out.
Did he just plant the idea in my head, which then made my body react?
Physically to I see what happens when I gave me the phone now when I turn it on I Find that I get a kind of horrible kind of sort of neural Discomfort is perhaps the best way of putting it.
I Feel like my body is saying get me away from this get me away from this horrible horrible evil device Which is fine, because what I'm doing now, I don't look at my Twitter and Telegram in the morning when I have my breakfast.
I read books.
And I'm currently reading Fathers and Sons by Turgenev, which is much more useful to read than, say, my My Telegram channel.
And I finished that book recently on vaccines, one of the books on vaccines, you know, pointing out like 200 years of evidence that vaccines just never worked, never did, always a con, always a massive con, just made everyone ill, just didn't work, just crap, just lies, lies, lies.
So that was good.
So I've stopped I've started reusing my time more usefully, but I don't know what to do about podcasts.
Because I listen to all my podcasts in the car, via my iPhone.
So can you advise me, as my technical advisor, on how I can... Well, does your car have a USB slot?
Could you do it off a memory stick?
Could you download your podcasts onto a memory stick and do them via that?
Do modern cars have ports of the kind you described?
Yes, they do.
But obviously, I mean, I'm in a ten-year-old car now, and that's how long I've had it for.
Because I'm an eco-freak, and I like to use things before they... Yeah, I know.
Me too.
But I don't know whether... It's an idea anyway, it might work.
Could you play a podcast with a memory stick into a... I will try, I will try now.
Because I'm going to get a new car soon.
You can definitely plug your phone into the dashboard, can't you?
Yeah.
Even on my ten-year-old Dacia Duster, I can plug my phone into a USB socket on the dashboard.
Oh, I can't.
Why not?
But the car I'm getting, I think we'll have it.
Because although it's obviously not new, I think it's newer.
So yeah.
So that's good.
Yeah, that could work.
There's ways around this thing.
You could have saved my life, Dick.
Yeah, well, I'm worried when I'll catch up with this thing because I've got this, like everyone has I suppose, a love-hate relationship with my phone and I do appreciate the fact that half of what is good about my life, like Third Wednesday and my social life and my Z-list celebrity fame has come about through that phone, through Twitter.
And I take it away and I've kind of lost contact with the world.
Yes, but do you know what you're saying?
You're saying...
I really love being a massively successful bass player, having groupies just sleeping with me all the time, and all the drugs.
But in a way, I feel that I ought to be grateful to the children I sacrificed and the pact I made with the devil, because it brought me all these things.
So can I really be against the devil for doing that?
That's a bit of a hard analogy, that one.
It's hard, but fair.
Right, okay, so give me six months and I'll probably be discarding my phone in the same way.
I think ultimately we'd all be better off without them, but we'd be far less connected.
We'd have to work a lot harder at meeting each other in pubs and things like that.
And if you're not even drinking, then what's the point in going to a pub?
You're doubly screwed.
I don't know how we are going to cope, because When it all kicks off, and you know, I mean, it's starting to kick off, isn't it?
Have you, I know we've been here before, but have you, I'm growing some tomatoes at the moment.
Okay.
And I have to, I'm actually feeling tomato guilt now.
I have to, I've been lent an old pineapple house, which is great because obviously tomatoes do better in a pineapple house than they would say in your garden.
What's a pineapple house?
In an enormous estate with a big walled garden, you quite often have pineapple houses just for growing pineapples in.
How are they different to greenhouses?
Just the configuration, I guess.
Or the original purpose is what it is.
They are like greenhouses.
I mean, they've got glass on top and just got stone or brick on the side.
Anyway, so I've got these tomato plants, which if you grew them in your garden, you wouldn't be getting tomatoes until September, probably, if you plant them as late as I do.
So I'll get tomatoes and I'll get that wonderful sort of smell you get when you go into a tomato area in a greenhouse and that'll be all exciting.
But you've got to go and water the bastards every single day and possibly twice a day if it gets really hot.
And you're thinking, OK, so I'm going to be getting tomatoes, lots of tomatoes, at the time when I can pick them up at Waitrose for nothing.
Pretty much, because obviously it's the tomato season.
So I'm spending loads of money in loads of manners growing this thing which is going to be worthless by the time it bears fruit, or next to worthless.
OK, so suppose the supermarket's all closed down and Keir Starmer gets his Third World War and there are no more tomatoes being shipped because they're all being torpedoed by Russians or whatever.
OK, so I'd have maybe a month's window of tomato salads before What you'd more likely get is you'd get some local ne'er-do-wells from the local town who would come in on motorbikes and take everything, probably rape you and kill the dog.
That's probably more likely, isn't it, in the doomsday scenario.
This is it.
This is exactly it.
We haven't got weapons.
And even if we had weapons, I mean... Would we really be that prepared to use them?
Yeah, it's... I think we all should be growing things as a matter of course.
I'm growing stuff.
I worked out I've got 13 different Food stuff's growing.
I thought I had two or three, you know, like the tomatoes and the potatoes, but when I started counting things like blueberry plants, raspberries... What?
Kohlrabi?
No, I grew those once.
No, I've got none of that.
Right.
I think it grows quite easily.
Not in our patch.
It's good for salads.
So I've got all these things going, and I just think we should be growing them anyway, no matter what the cost, because One day they will be needed and it might sustain you for a while but also you know what's gone into them.
You know they're genuinely organic or as organic as you want them to be and they're going to be the best they can possibly be.
And I've got the same problem with my potatoes.
I mean when I tot up how much I spent on soil Seed potatoes and the big tubs I've got them growing in.
That's way more than a one pound bag of supermarket potatoes each time.
So we're not doing it for the money saving.
Although freshly lifted potatoes taste so much better than any potato you can buy from the supermarket.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, they actually taste of potatoes.
We get, unfortunately, we get those organic vegetables delivered, what do they call, what's that company that does organic vegetables?
Not HelloFresh, that's something completely different.
It'll come back to me, but what I say, unfortunately, it's because these people, they give you a sort of weekly newsletter with your veg box, and they tell you how they're supporting that horrible man from the BBC who wants to ban shooting and stuff, you know, the kind of the eco-Nazi man.
It's a bit like when you go to church, and the sermon is about Ukraine, and you're thinking, no, I came in here to think about God, not some child laundering terrorist agent.
On that front, I have recently two things.
I've become friends with one of the clergymen from the cathedral.
That one you had the pint with?
Yeah, I had a really lovely pint with him.
And now I regularly attend Evensong, which he presides over, because he's the presenter.
He's the guy who leads the choral chants.
And the Evensong... I used to hate Evensong at school.
It was like, why do we have to go again?
We went in the morning.
Isn't that enough?
Wouldn't that keep God happy?
But Evensong, you sit in the choir stalls with the choir.
It's a bit like the Matins, but in the evening.
It's all choral.
You get to sing two hymns, but when there's a psalm that is sung to you by the choir, and they do it beautifully, they do it in all parts and the trebles and the basses and all of that, and it's stunning, there is A New Testament and an Old Testament reading.
There is no sermon.
There's no communion.
There's no opportunity except for the prayers in which they can go off piste.
So it's absolutely brilliant and I love it now.
It's less than an hour.
It is chorally beautiful.
You're sat in the cathedral.
But what this canon chap, JP, explain to me the purpose to some degree of a cathedral is to mop up people like me who aren't being served particularly well by their local church.
You find themselves odd with their local church and need somewhere to gravitate to.
So it's a few odds and sods who turn up but I am now one of them and whenever I get the opportunity to sneak out at four o'clock on a Sunday that's now my thing.
And if ever you're up here During a weekend, I really strongly recommend we try and get off to do one of these even songs.
That sounds really good.
I do like the way that even now, even with the horrible infiltration of the Church of England by the forces of darkness, that somehow The cathedrals even though some of what was it Salisbury Cathedral that used itself Designated itself a vaccine center.
I think during yeah But nevertheless they do still maintain these these choirs and these train the boys.
Yeah I've been wondering a lot about the choirs because during the last service they inaugurated, not inaugurated, inducted three new choristers.
They got given their gowns in the middle of the service, that sort of thing.
And I'm thinking, how do you commit to being in a choir?
When do you practice that you've got to constantly be there throughout the week at several services?
It's quite a commitment, isn't it?
Presumably they go straight to heaven when they die as a result of it, because, you know, that's quite a lot of hours you're putting in for God there.
Yeah.
I think there aren't many things that, as a child, require you such commitment.
I suppose if you were maybe an inventor in writing, or if you were training to be some kind of Gymnast or athlete of some kind.
Any kid that goes into sport, their poor parents are having to spend all their weekends carting them around judo contests or football or, you know, even if they don't get very far with it.
I thank my lucky stars that neither of my two were vaguely sporty.
Yeah, you know what?
Yeah, it can be a huge drain.
By weird coincidence, I too managed to breed children that weren't supremely sporty.
I can't think, because with our genes you'd think That we'd have trained the next Matt LaTissier.
But what were we good at?
We were good at the solitary sport of cross-country.
We were.
I thought we were going to say we were good at the solitary sport of something else, but no, it was probably cross-country.
Let's not lower it to those levels of filth.
Yeah, yeah.
We were, we were.
Back on to the gardening thing.
Yeah.
I'm probably going to get back into keeping chickens.
Am I thinking behind this?
Yeah I know I know but I've got a tiny garden and up until now I thought well let's keep it nice because they can demolish a garden they take up every blade of grass but you can keep them in pens and keep them to an area but I'm going to get back into that partly because obviously they're going to start slaughtering
All the chickens in the world very soon, which will not only deprive us of meat, but eggs are going to be at an absolute premium when they decide that bird flu, it's real, it's here, and the chickens are spreading it.
So, I'm going to beat the chicken cull, but also, I've come up with a cunning plan.
You know we're all meant to be registering our chickens now?
Yes.
The logic would say, well don't bloody register your chickens, don't be so stupid.
What I'm thinking is, everyone should register their chickens, whether they've got chickens or not.
What do you think about that?
Um, I think... Would you break the system by doing so?
Yes, if everyone did it.
I just don't think that your reach and my reach is reachy enough to get people doing it in sufficient numbers.
You see, what it would do, I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking if I registered chickens now, it would completely screw me when eventually I acquired the chickens that I want because they'd already known me.
There is that.
But if you're in the no chance of getting any chickens, maybe you live in an apartment block or something like that, and they come knocking at your door, and they want you to show them your chickens.
You could either show them a frozen chicken in the freezer, or you could say, oh, oh, where did...
Where did I leave them?
Or, you could say they died, you could say they flew away.
Yeah, you could.
Either way, it's like you can't prove a negative, can you?
You can't prove you haven't got chickens.
Yeah.
So, what can they do?
Are there chicken death certificates that they now issue when your chicken dies?
I don't know.
I just don't want these people coming anywhere near me, basically.
I was mentioning on another podcast about the bees.
The bees in New Zealand being just torched because apparently they had some deadly bee disease.
And a beekeeper... Bee AIDS!
Yeah, a beekeeper wrote to me and said this is absolutely right.
They can just come around the top of a hat and just torture bees.
Which is why anyone who knows what they're doing in the business does not register their bees.
Because it's the same thing, isn't it?
They're coming for our honey as well, the bastards.
Yeah, well they are.
One by one, they'll get all the good things in life that we know are good for us.
I'm sure I've said this before.
At the Hope Festival, brother.
Say your thing, I've got a Hope Festival story for you after that.
Yes, they found edible honey in one of the Egyptian tombs, didn't they?
They did.
In one of the offerings pots.
Although that could just be a factoid that we both picked up and actually turns out to be completely untrue.
Like everything in the world.
My Hope Festival, they were there actually, the Hope Sussex people at the Stand in the Light Festival up in Cumbria.
You've got the main tent where all the acts are on and where I had to be all day because I had to introduce everyone from Dave Bingley and his guitar to an audience of zero right the way through to some of the bands that you possibly could have heard of later on like Danny Rampling.
But next to this tent was the equivalent of a cafe.
And they were doing burgers and things like that.
They did tea and coffee.
But it was a farm shop cafe and they did raw milk.
All the milk on offer there was raw.
And it was just one of those things that the people there were lovely, the milk was raw, the cakes were just as good and wholesome and fresh as can be.
Further up the field there was a bloke doing raw honey with other medicines and things like that with it and I said oh this place is great it's got raw honey and raw milk and his wife suddenly went Raw milk?
Where?
I said, down there, down by the... She was out like a shot.
All these good things, like raw milk, like raw honey, they are trying to make various reasons.
Obviously, raw milk is almost impossible to get hold of because, oh, you'll get TB from it, or whatever it is they think it will do for you.
But we all know it's the proper stuff.
Talking of which, Louis Pasteur, A complete one.
Just like Darwin was a 33rd degree Freemason and Edward Jenner absolute con artist of the first order.
Edward Jenner, I think somebody, no, sorry, Louis Pasteur.
I think somebody posted this picture, a portrait of Pasteur.
Or maybe it was even a photograph where he's kind of fondling this little girl in a kind of Joe Biden style.
It's, it's, it's, it's.
It's really creepy.
And you think, okay, so this guy gave his name to pasteurisation.
Why were they really pasteurising milk?
I'm sure it's part of that thing to remove all the nutrients.
But I'll tell you what else.
We ran out of milk the other day and I...
I thought I couldn't be asked to go to, you know, a supermarket with a big selection of designer milk.
So I went into the garage and I bought a bottle of what looked like, you know, blue milk and it said, you know, sort of cuddly bunny caring farm milk special or something like that.
The branding said it was nice.
And I looked to see whether it was homogenized or not.
And it was homogenised.
Now, do you know about homogenisation?
Here's a rabbit hole for you to go down.
Yes.
Oh, you do?
No, no, it breaks down the fat molecule.
Yes.
To a point where it goes straight through your gut and you get no benefit from the fat.
So, apparently, we're going to have to look, somebody's going to have to look this up.
They found this with people during the Korean War.
American servicemen were being given homogenized milk and were coming back with these health problems created by the homogenized milk.
Now, who suddenly disobeyed that milk should be homogenized?
Probably the same person.
No one asked us.
I remember it started happening and it was kind of like, well, I think people thought it just meant it's the equivalent of shaking the bottle so that the cream is dispersed throughout but it's so much more than that and why would you need someone to do that when all you know that's all you needed to have done and of course those of us who remember the 70s and having milk delivered The cream on the top was the best part.
That over your Weetabix was just a huge treat.
Except... Do you remember what happened in those days?
Sparrows would often peck and get to the... They don't seem to do that anymore.
Well, they don't have the milk to do it with.
No, but we still get our milk delivered.
Do you?
Alright.
And it's got foil tops.
I don't, I can't remember when I last saw the tops being pecked by birds.
Pecked whole.
Maybe it's because the birds have been killed off by the absence of insects, which in turn have been killed off by the absence of, by 5G and stuff.
That's probably what it is.
Well, they're saying the countryside is now devoid of wild birds, but certainly our garden is heaving with them.
We had a nuthatch the other day on our feeder.
That's good.
I like their kind of... their curves.
Sleekness.
Yeah.
It's good.
We've got... It always makes me happy.
There's a family of swallows which nests below one of the bathrooms.
And you can watch their progress.
You watch, first of all, the frantic activity of the parents sort of coming in and out with twigs and stuff, making the nest.
And then you watch the even more frantic activity as they're trying to feed their brood, which are getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
And then you see the fledglings.
Going on to the anti-cat barrier that we've got, the wooden fence we've put, and making their first flights, or thinking about it, preening themselves before they make a flight, or coming back after their first tentative foray and preening themselves again.
It's great.
It's lovely being able to sit outside your house and just watch all this going on around you.
It's deeply relaxing.
We must spend a fortune on bird seed.
We've got these really good feeders that are big bird and squirrel proof and constantly draining us of them.
Of course, we've got the one with Niger seeds in for the... Is that how you pronounce it, James?
I hope it is.
I believe so.
Do you want to fact check on that?
How did you think it might?
Niger.
Niger.
Oh Niger.
Right.
OK.
Right.
After the West African country.
So.
Yeah.
Probably where they come from.
Yeah.
I did enjoy that fag that I had with you in your garden watching your bird feeder.
Yes, of course, yeah, yeah.
I've forgotten how recently that was.
Hasn't life got so much better since we discovered the backy that we smoke?
What is it?
Pueblo Blue?
Pueblo Blue.
Is it an organic one?
Or American Spirit?
Well, apparently I've got American Spirit and apparently it's not organic, but it's definitely not got all the crap they put in Golden Virginia.
I mean, it's like smoking something completely different.
It is drier, and it's not as smooth as smoke, but I'm quite happy to sacrifice those two for a smoke that isn't going to destroy my lungs.
You have to put it on your pill.
Do you do that?
Yeah, I do remember that, but you can't leave it in too long because that starts to go mouldy.
But it depends how quickly you get through a pack.
But yeah, it's a bit of a discovery.
But it makes me think that, because I think that this incoming regime of Keir Starmer, I mean, nothing is impossible with that man in charge.
And you just wonder whether they're not going to try something really insane like banning smoking.
Well, they've already done this thing for perpetually banning anyone under 14.
Yes.
And they're going to roll that a year further.
So, next year it's going to be 15 and then 16.
So, people who were born in a certain year will never legally be allowed to smoke.
So, they are doing it.
Yes, but they might decide to do it more... They're waiting for the rest of us to die first.
They might do it more precipitously.
More vigorously.
Because I don't know where you are on smoking.
I am increasingly convinced that the reason that they want to stop us smoking is not, well, we know it's not for health reasons, but it may even be that smoking is good for you, to a degree.
That it protects you from certain things.
Maybe it unlocks something in your mind.
It's one of the things that things like mobile phones are distorting our minds with.
It's sort of like keeping us thick, keeping us unquestioning.
And maybe cigarettes.
That's why you always bump into the cool kids round the back of the bike sheds or outside a pub.
It's always the most interesting people who are smoking.
I wonder why that is?
Totally, yeah.
So, if they ban it...
Imagine the effect that's going to have on the quality of the backy that we buy from the black market.
We're going to be buying real.
We're going to be grateful for Old Hoban, say, you know, suddenly.
We're going to be going, oh, I'll have some Pueblo, please.
It'll be like, yeah, what have you got, mate?
Yeah, but never underestimate the resourcefulness of the black marketeers.
If they see a market for growing their own organic tobacco in sheds in places, it will probably appear.
Yeah.
And there's amazing things that appear when things get banned.
So, you know, I always hold out hope that every time that they move the goalposts we manage to change the rules.
That's a mixed metaphor.
It doesn't work.
I was going to tell you something really interesting but I can't remember what it is.
Can I tell you something?
I got this kind of annoying letter today from somebody.
It was from a Christian.
So I'm currently learning Psalm 133, which which begins, behold, how good and joyful a thing it is, brethren, to dwell together in unity.
So I'm thinking well, okay, so so I can't be but this person was saying I support you, but I couldn't help noticing that your company that I pay my money to is called Wolfish.
Are you aware that Jesus was not very keen on wolves?
And then he went on to quote lots of scripture where Jesus is against wolves.
And here's another thing I found on the internet.
I found somebody Say you were saying in one of the podcasts you made a reference to Gawain or to the Green Knight and I and the Green Knight is a kind of Anyway, I just thinking what?
Hang on a second.
Do you actually listen to these podcasts that you that you you pay for?
because if you listen to my Sam's podcast say?
Wouldn't you kind of think that maybe I'm not faking it?
Yeah, it's an implication that you don't understand that you're getting it slightly wrong or that you therefore must be a fake because it's kind of like, you know, 101 reasons why you might have a company called Woolfish.
They'd never guess the real reason, that it's a silly family nickname.
Because we've all got animal names.
So I wrote to him and said this.
I kind of wanted to make him feel a bit guilty actually, because I think when you write to somebody insinuating that basically they're a fake, And asking them whether they're a fake.
Well one, it's stupid anyway, because if they were a fake, they would just lie to you anyway.
So why would you ask?
But yeah, it was from the time when I had hair.
And my sort of longer hair made me look like a kind of wolf-like creature.
And when I do things like forget my glasses, forget my phone, lose my keys, that's described By the wife certainly is wolfish behaviour, hence the name of the company.
But I kind of think... Because wolves are notorious for forgetting their car keys.
Yeah, exactly.
But I'm thinking, you know, so people read... I know that part of our job as conspiracy theorists is to read much into tiny signs.
But at the same time, if you're a Christian, shouldn't you have this thing called discernment?
Shouldn't you be able to decide for yourself, look, I'm going to give this guy money and... Because I think he's for real.
Or if I don't think it's for real then don't do it but don't kind of write letters asking me if I'm for real or not.
You should be able to work it out.
There's another one I recently saw that was railing against yoga and it was saying When Christians do yoga, it was pointing out that this church in America that was offering yoga classes was completely misled.
And I agree with that.
They shouldn't be mixing church and yoga.
Now, I don't do yoga, but I do certain stretches.
Which, no doubt, yoga includes some of these positions.
Now, as a Christian, what are you supposed to do?
Not partake in any particular stretch that could be construed as yoga, because what?
It will mean you're no longer a Christian?
It will mean you are now possessed?
Where do you draw the line?
I'm not even going to stretch, because that's unchristian.
Well, I'll tell you where you sort of draw the line.
So, when I went on that trip, to Moldova one of the people on the trip was this um orthodox chap who was very serious about his his faith and stuff and he had previously been heavily into um qigong
and so you know Chinese sort of tai chi meditation and also he'd done yoga including kundalini yoga which i think is the most dangerous it's about awakening the innocent snake and you know stuff like that And he said that he had pushed his qigong to a level where he could actually feel that his body was acting independently of his mind and that there were these forces that were taking control of him, which were not his.
And, of course, I used to do tai chi a lot.
One of the desiderata in Tai Chi is to empty your mind, to clear your mind of monkey thoughts.
You concentrate on the upper Dan Chien and the lower Dan Chien, which is the point below your belly button, I think.
And you focus on those and you sort of focus on the sort of you see sort of infinities spreading, stretching out ahead of you.
And.
I've heard it said that when you empty your mind, you then allow the entrance of of dark forces.
So I can see, on the one hand, oh how silly, how ridiculous that the church should be funny about yoga.
On the other hand, This stuff is real.
There aren't demonic dark forces out there ready to possess you, and practicing these sort of Eastern religions is not necessarily going to improve your...
Your spiritual integrity.
I find that line, therefore, is way away from what I'm doing every morning after I've been in the gym when I'm doing lunges and maybe the odd downward dog and that sort of thing.
I mean, these are very useful things.
They feel good when I do them because I'm stretching muscles that are all tense.
I think there's things that I've got much worse about me than ...than the yoga positions I occasionally adopt.
I'll work on other levels of perfection first.
Do you know how I deal with it?
So I spend about an hour...
Doing stretches and things every morning.
And the cat camel exercise, which I do first, is the Lord's Prayer.
The sort of Superman, what's it called, when you stretch out alternate arms and legs, that is Psalm 139.
The next stretch I do where I look up is the Te Deum.
The Magnificat is my next stretching exercise.
And the one, my hamstring stretch on the door is Psalm 1.
And so it goes on.
Because part of the problem, I've now got I reckon 30 Psalms up my sleeve.
And I try and say them all every day to stop them going out of my head.
But do you know how long it takes to do 30 psalms a day?
It's like... I do.
I've got four and I managed to get two in with my stretches.
91 is when I'm on my back with my feet slightly raised and it's a good way of timing how long I do that for.
And I've not got to cheat.
I can't just talk really quickly through it.
I have to pace it.
No, is that because God would see through it?
God would see through it.
And 23, I'm in a sort of squat position, which I feel slightly wrong about.
Yeah, I feel I've certainly detoxified the un-Christian elements of it by doing that.
But should I need to?
I don't know.
But it is difficult to find times in the day when you can do a daily psalm recital.
It's a tricky one.
I quite often do them on car journeys now.
So what it means is that you get even less time listening to podcasts, because you can't listen to a podcast while doing the psalms.
And I find that I can go on a two-hour journey and not run out of psalms that I know.
That's how much.
So I am becoming a kind of a sort of peripatetic monk, whatever they're called.
What are they called?
Friar?
I don't know, but I know that the monks would learn a lot, wouldn't they?
They would, they would.
I don't know where this leaves us, whether we do get what God thinks about All this, whether he thinks, yeah, I'm really pleased with James.
Now, I don't mind him having the odd fag, even though his body's his temple, because actually, you know, he says loads of psalms.
Or whether it's just like, yeah, James, this is what you should be doing as the base level stuff.
You know, then I want you going out and healing lepers, you know, looking after lepers and stuff and washing their sores and stuff.
I don't know.
I think as long as you are constantly improving and not slipping back.
That's the rule I make for myself.
Are you better than you were last year?
Are you a better person?
You know what you should be doing.
You know your bad habits and the bad things that you will one day shake off, but one thing at a time.
You can't just become Perfect overnight.
Not like you ever will, but what's up?
I'll tell you what I have done, which I think is pleasing to God, recently.
A little success.
I've pretty much knocked on the head my stupid little superstitions, which were taking a lot of time.
Oh, things like dialing the phone with a different finger for each number?
I used to do that.
Yes.
No, I don't do that.
I'm talking about you.
Yes, I used to do that.
I found it amusing and infuriating.
That was in my really extreme stage.
Dialing the phone with a different finger for each number.
And who made up that rule?
Demons, obviously.
I do think the demons were having a laugh.
What stupid shit can we make James do next in the belief that he will be protecting himself from us, really?
It's like that Ant and Dec thing where they're speaking to you through a microphone and it's in a hidden thing in your ear and they're telling you to do stupid things.
I've never seen it but I've seen it frequently referred to on memes and things like that.
It's a thing.
Just going back to that point that we were mentioning about 30 seconds ago.
There's a really good line in Psalm 51.
And I was talking to Alex Thompson about this.
And I said, Alex, I think this line is one of the most important lines in the Psalms.
It's like the key to everything.
And it's it's a really good song it's it's the the one that goes Thou shalt purge me with hyssop and I shall be be clean thou shalt wash me and I shall be whiter than snow but anyway Later on it goes The Sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit, a broken and contrite heart, shalt thou not despise.
And the bit leading up to it is talking about how thou delightest not in burnt offerings.
Now God's kind of over the burnt offering stage of early
Mm-hmm the New Testament Old Testament, and he's gone on he's moved on from there Yeah, the sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit a broken and contrite heart shall not despise and I think That in a way is is the essence of being I mean, you know vicar's and Priests are welcome to pile in here I think it's kind of one of the essences of Christianity that you need to be in a state where you're constantly thinking Well, like you said, how can I do better?
Am I doing it right?
Because you're never going to get it perfectly, but it should be on your mind.
I think the first thing, without sounding too corny, the first thing you recognise as a Christian is that we're all completely flawed and, you know, we'll never attain perfection.
Actually, no, you made me.
That's my big problem, I find.
Yeah.
But, you know, the decent priests who I count among my friends all talk in those terms and see themselves in that way.
I don't think you should revel in your imperfection, but...
Acknowledging it is the first stage to trying to be better.
Except... That involves things like forgiving people and not being an arsehole all the time.
All that.
Which doesn't come naturally.
It's certainly not to me.
No.
I find it very... I think God is constantly thinking...
Why are you being so foul to the people in your telegram group?
And I said, but, but, but God, they're complete dicks.
They just said some really stupid, annoying things.
Yes, but they're not as clever as you.
Yeah, I know.
Stop being intellectually arrogant.
Yeah.
And, and, and so get this, get this dialogue.
Um, but I still, I'm still, I'm still cannot, you know, maybe this is, this is one of my vices and I think it might be one of your vices too.
That I cannot stop asking questions about it all.
That I can't just...
Except from this particular denomination or that.
These are the rules.
You've got to stick to them and stop thinking about it because God doesn't want you to think about stuff.
That thinking is what the serpent wants you to do.
Thinking is what gets you into trouble.
You should just have your faith and follow these rules and accept it.
You're thinking, well, which rules?
You know, the Council of Nicaea and then you're looking for guides like Michael S. Heiser.
Who, unfortunately, is no longer with us, so I can't do a podcast with Michael S. Heiser and ask him all the questions.
That would have been epic.
It would have been epic.
It would have been amazing.
He has left us a lot of videos.
I've noticed there's a lot of stuff of his on YouTube.
Nice, short, five-minute question and answer type things, which is great, but none of them are as good or as comprehensive as his book, which I'm still really enjoying.
Almost on the same sort of subject.
I'm coming towards the end of Jeremiah at the moment in my Bible reading.
Kind of chapter 50 or thereabouts.
And it's talking a lot about Babylon being smited and taken to the sword, leave no man alive.
One of those things when God is showing his wrath.
The daughter of Babylon wasted with misery.
It's that sort of stuff, yeah, and killing all the bullocks and everything.
No, don't leave a stone standing because I'm now showing my judgment on Babylon, which previously he'd given Israel and Judea over to Babylon to be in captivity.
Didn't he like Nebuchadnezzar?
Because they'd misbehave.
I think he did.
He worked through Nebuchadnezzar, didn't he?
But then he's changed his mind, or he's turned against them because they've done evil in his sight.
And I'm thinking, if you're a little Babylonian kid playing in the garden, and then the children of Israel come over the hill and smite you verily with a sword, It's like, is that fair?
Is that right?
I mean, would God do that sort of thing?
So these are the sort of questions that I still have.
Yes!
You know, it's not that kid's fault that he was born into a Babylonian family.
Yes.
But thank God we go New Testament, because Old Testament is hardcore, isn't it?
Can I show you briefly who I've got down here?
Look.
That's a dog!
Look at him, this lovely Lemmy who's just come in to say hello.
Yes, Lemmy, after whom a famous bass player was named.
Well, not quite so famous.
Yes, that's right.
Hello Lemmy, I hope...
I do hope my dog is not still outside.
No, it's a cat.
Listen, we're coming to an end soon.
Yeah, the cat's outside.
We don't want to go Joe Rogan.
Hang on, I was going to tell you a thing.
I was going to tell you a thing.
Go on.
What was that thing before Lemmy came in?
Alexander Waugh, who's got cancer and of whom I'm very, very fond.
I think he's a really, really special person.
Alexander vouchsafed on our telegram group, I mean he's been quite ill so he hasn't been able to communicate as much as I might have hoped because you know he's always interesting, and he says that he has had a six-hour vision.
And all he would vouchsafe in the in the in the commentary within the comments was that this might put him at odds with some of the Orthodox as in a smaller Orthodox Christians in in the group, but he'd had this this moment of enlightenment whatever and
I'm dying to find out what it is, you know, I mean, because, maybe, maybe Alexander's right.
And, you know, the others are wrong.
I think if we didn't have the inquiring minds we did, we'd be doctors or something like that.
Or lawyers.
So, you know, I suppose we've got God to thank for that.
Or her father.
Her earthly father.
Well, that's the thing, Dick.
I was thinking about this on the way back from riding today.
And I was thinking... Okay.
Have you heard... Sorry.
The Sheep Farm podcast.
They did a Sheep Farm thing on... Among the characters they investigated was Dom Jolly.
Right.
And I think man is it's a bit like one of those questions, you know, where the where the where the flies go in winter and stuff and and why is the sky blue?
How did Dom Jolly get a get a career in comedy?
I mean, it's just it made no sense.
It's never made any sense.
But When the Sheep Farm Boys look into his background, they find that he comes from exactly the sort of background you would have if you were going to become part of the big club that we're not in.
And I was thinking, you know, that phase I went through at Oxford where I was, I wanted to be part of the in crowd, but I was never quite accepted.
Well, duh, if your father is a West Midlands nut and bolt manufacturer, you're never going to be, you're never going to be one of them, are you?
It's, it's, so I realized how blessed we were to come from the Midlands.
It is nice to come round to that realisation early enough in life to actually enjoy and appreciate it.
Imagine if you still felt slightly hard done by for never having been a part of that set.
And it hasn't stopped me going fox hunting and being accepted as a fox hunting man.
You can still have the good bits.
Listen, we've got Yadin next week.
We have!
How are plans going for that?
It's weird, Dick.
I don't know how many people will see this before it goes out.
Well, this is it.
I thought this might be a last chance.
It's sold out.
Are you kidding?
No.
That's amazing.
No, I know.
I was thinking, because Ben did it all.
I thought you'd be having to do a panic last minute ticket push and you told me you could seat a thousand.
A couple of weeks ago I think Ben said, Somebody said, maybe we should do a last call for this podcast, for your event.
And I said, well, what should I say?
He said, well, don't concentrate on selling tickets, because we've already done that.
Just sort of say nice things for the people who are coming and how much you're looking forward to seeing them.
And I thought, well, he's being a bit complacent, isn't he?
Shouldn't I be pushing the sales?
But no!
I mean, the last time I looked, which won't be current by the time this podcast goes out, there were 35 seats left.
I mean, I actually feel genuinely embarrassed by... because, like, why me?
OK, so they're coming to see my Eden, mainly, but, you know... It bears out the fact that you can take on this size of venue and fill them.
I thought you were being a bit blasé when you said, yeah, yeah, it shouldn't be any problem filling it.
Yeah, typical James.
He's jumping in with both feet and... No, you're completely right to do so, but... Well, it's got to be a stadium next time.
It's good to have someone like Ben being your organisational arm.
Well, yeah.
Hopefully, like, sponsored by a big bank or something like that.
Or Pfizer.
Something like that.
Well, both.
Why not?
Why not both?
Well, I'll be there with whatever merch I have left out of my dinosaur t-shirts and some stuff.
You might bring a lot, Dick.
Well, I'll bring what I've got.
If you've got all those tickets sold out, then there'll be people wanting to spend their money on t-shirts, won't there?
I would hope so, Dick, for your sake.
Well it better justify my coming down to that London because I do try to avoid it.
It's not my favourite place anymore.
We're going to be sharing a room aren't we I think?
Yeah, yeah.
I've decided to bring... We can do our holy yoga together.
We can.
We can.
It's going to be... That could be a podcast in its own right.
Dick and James' Christian Yoga.
We should do... Dick!
We should make a video of our exercise routines with the relevant psalms.
Very niche.
Very niche indeed.
Good.
Well, thank you Dick.
Is there anything you want to say before we go?
Before we depart in peace?
No, look forward to seeing everyone down in London for Delingpole Yeadon.
I can't wait to see the gang.
And or look forward to having seen them by the time this podcast goes out, which I think is more likely.
Oh right, depending on when you're doing the show.
We really enjoyed seeing you.
It was great.
It was great, especially you.
It was particularly sad that I had to be killed afterwards by the cabal, but, for knowing too much, but, whatever.
Oh, live on stage would be quite something, wouldn't it?
I'm in heaven now, probably, I hope.
I mean, otherwise those songs were a waste of time, weren't they?
It was the yoga, what did it?
Oh yeah, that's it!
You made one rookie error, James!
See if you can work out what it was.
Yes, the yoga.
Right, okay.
Well, thank you everyone for watching and if you... Remember, if you want early access to my stuff, and it's in your interest to get early access because then my podcasts are more topical and also you get that warm glow of helping me, Do support me on Substack.
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