Dick is James’s brother. ’Coventry Carol’ is performed by Fiori Musicala &lt; https://fiori-musicali.com &gt; in conjunction with Her Majestys Sagbutts & Cornetts < https://www.hmsc.co.uk >.
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I know I always say I'm excited about this week's special guest but as you can see I'm not because it's Dick.
Welcome to the Christmas Special DellingPod with me, James Christmas Special Dellingpole.
And I know I always say I'm excited about this week's special guest, but as you can see I'm not, because it's Dick.
Dick.
Dick.
Was that synchronised? - Yes.
No, we didn't rehearse this and no one will ever know.
No.
Because I could hardly hear your part.
Right.
Because you've got a very small part.
I've got a tiny part, legendarily.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm worried that that might have been like my bloody gym thing.
You know when you're on a running machine at the gym and you're trying to watch a Morrissey video?
Yeah.
And Morrissey isn't singing in time with himself.
Have you ever got that?
There's a lag.
And it got up to five seconds now.
It's getting worse every week.
And it is very, very annoying.
And I was wondering whether we were doing that.
When I said yes, like when you're in the gym on the running machine, I actually meant no.
No, right.
Because I, I don't approve of running machines because I think that it's like, it's like virtual running rather than real running.
And I think if you're going to run, you should be running on, you know, in the country, getting your feet muddy.
There is an argument for that but I do it for 15 minutes in which time I cover exactly 3km and I can alter the pitch and I can watch Morrissey videos and then have a swim afterwards.
So it's kind of a control thing for me.
It works for me anyway, and that's what I was doing this morning.
Yeah, yeah.
Boyd Ellingpole also speaks highly of these things where you can now program it to do a super fast sprinting thing, like intervals.
I kind of do intervals, but they're barely distinguishable from each other.
You've told him where to go.
I said, well I did almost, I said outside our house is this thing called a hill and what you do is you start at the bottom of the hill and you run up to the top and then you walk down and then you run up and it recreates, in fact it actually is better than a running machine.
Yeah, it recreates the pitch of a running machine when it's on an elevated pitch.
Yeah, exactly.
Quite clever.
I find them quite frightening.
What?
Running machines.
But running machines, you know, that like, like you always imagine, I mean, obviously, I don't fear I'm going to have a heart attack.
Well, not unless I get one of those CIA shellfish poison induced heart attacks like they used on Andrew Breitbart.
But, but I just worry that... People have accidents, don't they?
There's a thing on ours in the gym.
It's quite an old machine.
When you grip it, it tells you your heart rate.
Now, at my age, my heart rate apparently isn't supposed to go over 165.
Who says that?
A thing.
Yeah, but who?
The enemy?
I don't know.
Probably.
It's all the enemy, isn't it?
Everything's the enemy.
It's got no one with my best interests at heart.
Anyway, I'm constantly hovering around that level, so I'm on the edge of a heart attack throughout my 15 minutes of exercise.
Yeah.
But that's... I live on the edge, me.
Yeah.
By the way, can I just... and I want to talk to you in a moment about things that I've done which have brought me to the edge of a heart attack.
Right.
I... my day is hunting on Tuesday.
Right.
Before we go there... Look, you can tell you're in your happy place there.
Oh, I was so in my happy place.
So before we go there and lose about, well, a third probably, probably 33% of our audience.
Those we haven't lost on the singing.
We don't need that 33% anyway.
No, no.
We want the core.
We want the hardcore.
We'll deliver the goods to them.
Yeah, we do.
In due course.
So, um, I was just going to say, thanks Dick for making an effort for the Christmas special.
You still haven't spotted my Christmas decorations, have you?
Look hard at the background.
You're quite blurry.
That.
That.
They're helmets!
No, they're lights.
I've got fairy lights strung in amongst the helmets.
Have you?
Yes.
I can't see them.
They're there.
Maybe the sharp-eyed viewers, when this goes out, will be able to see this.
I thought I'd gone a bit over the top, but clearly not.
It just looks to me like a, like, you know, a trench which has just been cleared, the occupants have abandoned it in haste.
Is it looking like a trench because you've seen the Napoleonic hat and you now know, because you've seen the film Napoleon, that there were trenches at Waterloo?
Is that what you're hinting at?
Have you seen it?
No, I'm not going to go and see it.
From what I've seen, it's such a load of bollocks.
No, of course there weren't.
Well, there were trenches in the Ridley Scott thing.
That's what I wanted to know.
Were there trenches in the movie?
Yeah.
And telescopic sights on the Baker rifles.
Yeah.
Napoleon leading a cavalry charge, the notoriously bad horseman, unlike you of course, who could easily lead a cavalry charge at moments like this.
You know what, I think I could now.
Have you tried riding with a sword?
Drawn sword.
I've tried pretending.
I've got a sword.
Yeah, but I did once a few years ago.
I went out for a ride with somebody who was in I think the household Cavalry or something.
And he showed me the three different movements that you can do when you're in a cavalry charge.
I think it's you start with that with your, you know, pointing forwards and then you do a slash down and then you and then you basically you get three slashes which presume which is all I think you can physically do before you're through the ranks of whoever you're charging.
Yeah.
And you've got your eagle.
You've got your French eagle.
I think the hard part, I mean apart from obviously the weight of your sword, whatever it is, sabre is it?
Whatever they're called?
Yeah, cavalry sabre.
Is not chopping your horse's head off.
Right, or ears.
I mean, you know, not letting the momentum of the stroke do damage to your mount, which would be kind of counterproductive, wouldn't it?
Yeah, just a bit.
But they still teach them how to do proper cavalry stuff, do they?
I thought it was all in acts and stuff.
I think so.
I think so.
Yeah?
Good.
That's reassuring.
Well, I don't know if it's reassuring or not.
I mean, I can't imagine that there's ever going to be a call, sadly.
For cavalry in warfare.
They said that about trench warfare, didn't they?
In tanks.
So, just briefly, so that I don't have to see it.
It sounds like that... What was the medieval film where they all had kind of crossbows that were like guns, basically?
Oh, I don't know.
It's not science fiction, no.
Oh, well, they could just keep on reloading them.
Anyway, somebody will know.
But, I mean, Waterloo, given that they didn't know that the battle was going to take place there, how would they possibly have had time to dig trenches?
Well, that is a tiny historical issue compared to some of the other ones that this film committed.
People who don't know anything about the period have quite enjoyed it as a film, but if you know even the tiniest bit about the period, then you are going to be disappointed.
So, yeah, probably the less said about it, the better.
I'll see it when it's free.
I'm not going to pay money to see it.
Did he also direct Gladiator?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, so basically that battle with Arminius or whatever it is, the battle with the Germans at the beginning.
The Teutoburg Forest one.
Yeah, we can presumably assume that that's all bollocks as well.
I think that's pretty good in comparison.
Yeah.
Do you know what?
I'm sure I've mentioned this to you before, but I may as well say it again.
Do you know what annoys me about that scene?
What?
At the time we would have been rooting for the Romans, when in fact now we're rooting for the barbarians?
That's certainly true.
That's certainly true.
I mean, I'm definitely rooting for... I don't like the fact the barbarians... In fact, the greatest moment in Roman history is probably the Teutoburg Forest, where they all get wiped out by Arminius.
Yeah, well, that's what I thought that battle was.
No, well, because don't they... don't the Romans... No, the Romans win in... And that's how he ends up as a prisoner, right?
Yes, but what annoys me about that scene is the cutting.
It's this thing where they cheat by doing these rapid cuts and you're not quite sure what's going on and it's a development in movies that I deplore.
I want to see what's happening.
I don't want to be tricked into thinking I've seen something that I haven't.
All part of the big lie.
Yeah, well it is, of course it's the huge big lie machine, we know this about... Oh, can we have a conversation about the... Can I ask you about your Christmas jumper, James?
Oh, thank you for asking me, unprompted Dick, but can I just say to you, it's not actually a Christmas jumper.
Oh really?
Some people... How come it looks so much like a Christmas jumper?
That's an amateur, that's a rookie error you're making there.
I agree that the red and the sort of pattern, the white pattern is deceptively... Do show us the snowflake as well.
If you just get up a little bit.
It does almost look like a... Oh!
Actually that... And the bit that says ho ho ho across the bottom.
It does not say ho ho ho.
It does not.
Do you know, even though I'm wearing it, I'd forgotten it has snowflake patterns on it.
But I would like to point out that this is actually part of Nigel Caborn's limited edition expedition wear from many years ago now, where he recreated the patterns and the materials used to outfit an expedition to the Antarctic, maybe?
In about the 1950s?
Right.
And thinking about it, we haven't heard about this Antarctic expedition since, have we?
Because they found an ice wall, behind which was an alien-stroke-demonic-flying-saucer base, and a hidden city.
What do you think goes on in Antarctica?
Everything that we're not allowed to talk about.
All the shit.
All the stuff.
What, like massive child trafficking?
Like Epstein Island, sort of times a hundred, and lots of bases.
It's where they can kind of be themselves and chill out because they haven't got to worry about being discovered because no one gets to go in there.
That sort of thing.
Yeah.
And the dumb to end all dumbs.
Dumb?
Deep underground military base.
Oh gosh, I didn't know that was a thing.
I think it was like, did you see the Google Maps thing?
No.
Ah, that was a thing last year.
You probably can't do it now.
If you went on Google Maps and you looked into a particular area of Antarctica, you found yourself in this underground city with corridors and stuff.
Right.
How can you go, what?
Well with, yeah.
That surely can't have been a thing.
I forget now, but it was something like that.
Right.
It was good.
I mean, it occupied me for a good half day, I'd say.
Do you ever do that sort of Google Earth thing of just sort of saying, I want to see if I could get away with living in Greenland?
And then you take yourself to Greenland and you drop the thing on a street map and have a wander around a town in Greenland and have a look at the architecture and see what the cafes would be like and that sort of thing.
That's a real good time waster.
Oh, I think I would already have decided not to go to Greenland because I presume there are giant mosquitoes there.
What?
Really?
Why?
Aren't there?
Isn't it a bit cold for mosquitoes?
Okay, so Sweden, Canada, anywhere in that latitude.
Yeah.
It probably has giant mosquitoes.
Why the probably?
Is it a known thing?
Big mosquitoes in Scandinavia?
I think so.
I think so.
I mean, it's a myth, isn't it?
This idea that... Do you remember the bollocks we used to read about?
How, yes, and thanks to global warming, mosquitoes are soon going to be coming to wherever.
And you're thinking, hang on a second, they're already here.
Mosquitoes already live in zones, in cold zones.
They're not as fussy as you think.
Not as fussy as they should be.
No.
No.
I mean, we had mosquitos in the house this year.
They bit, they ate Boydellinpong.
Oh, right.
Which is why you haven't seen him.
Sad.
I thought he was annoying you earlier.
I thought, no, is he that, was he the one letting the dog in, in our initial attempt at filming this just now?
No, it wasn't him.
That was the dog of its own accord.
All right.
Coming up the stairs and, um, uh... Ruining your podcast.
Do you know what's missing this Christmas?
Um, happiness, joy.
Yeah, obviously.
Yeah.
Yes.
Also me.
Yes, that's true.
Okay.
Also Shane McGowan.
They're both dead now.
Missing in action.
They're both dead.
Him and Kirstie.
Yeah.
Gone to join Harambee with the Angels.
With the angels.
Do you think that that is the, just briefly on the Christmas theme, which do you think is the best?
Is it Greg Lake's I Believe in Father Christmas, or is it Fairytale of New York?
It's very difficult to go for Fairytale because of its overplayed nature, and it's hard to like anything so loved and mainstream, but there's no getting away from its brilliance.
But then you've also got little outliers like Stelae Span Gaudete, which is 50 years old this year.
Is that about Christmas?
Yeah.
Gaudete Christus Est Natus, isn't it, or something like that?
Oh, okay, yeah, that sounds... The Christus Est Natus is definitely a clue.
Yeah.
Okay.
I put it on my Christmas compilations when I force it onto people in the office.
Do you?
That's good because some of the songs you hear, not that I listen to the wireless, but occasionally when you go to places where they still do such things, The dross that comes through at overwhelming the gems, like I believe in Father Christmas, is just... I mean, it makes you want to die, doesn't it?
It does, yeah.
It's kind of like you have to accept a certain amount of normie intrusion at this time of year.
You've got to be able to switch on to sort of Christmas mode where You kind of build up a Christmas carapace to fend it all off, don't you?
You've just got to filter everything.
What's the one you hate most?
I'll tell you mine in a moment.
What's the worst?
I really, really dislike Elton John's Step Into Christmas.
Oh!
No, if you don't know it, I'm not going to sing it to you, because it's... Just a bit.
I've never heard this song.
I swear I haven't.
Well, you won't identify it from... Wait, wait, wait.
Stop.
Wait.
Is it like the ring?
If you sing this song, I will die.
Yes, let's go with that.
And all our listeners.
Just try a bit.
Let's kill everyone with this song.
step into christmas step into christmas step into christmas everyone Something like that.
It's... I don't... I... Dick, if this song existed, because I have to say that's... You think they made it up?
I do.
If this song existed, I mean, okay, you know, you had me for a moment, because obviously I think Elton John is, is like, he's evil.
Yeah.
So you've got me there.
And, but, come on.
Yeah, you'd have thought, wouldn't you?
But you've managed to avoid it.
You're pretty much out so far off grid that you're not going to be exposed to it.
When are you going to come across Elton, so to speak?
It's very true.
It's very true.
In a shopping centre or something like that?
Can you imagine you in a shopping centre?
No.
If you're at Blue Water one day, you know, as you do, do you know what Blue Water is?
Yes.
It's a shopping centre.
It's one of the evil companies that runs the world.
It's like Black Rock.
That's Black Rock, right.
Blue Water, Black Rock.
Blue Water is probably there.
It's sort of slightly dodgy cousin, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
With kids in the basement.
That sounds like a line from a Christmas song.
With gifts on the tree and kids in the basement.
Kids in the basement.
We should have got the harmony worked out.
Kids in the basement.
Kids in the basement.
Gifts on the tree.
There you go.
I think a charity Christmas song next year would be probably in order.
Do you know that, okay, I will tell you the song I hate most and I don't know where it came from.
Like a lot of the things that seem to be spawned, do you not think that these things emerge and they come from nowhere and then suddenly they're part of your consciousness and it's as if they've always been there but you know they haven't?
A trick is being played on you.
Go on, hit me with what it is, and I'll tell you if I agree with it.
It's coming from nowhere.
The song about Santa Baby?
Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
Hurry Down the Chimney.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, okay, so the things I hate about this song... Why would a young woman want to be fantasising about this man in a sort of red outfit with white fur trimming?
With a white beard.
I mean, it's not even a daddy complex.
It's a granddaddy thing going on here, which is really odd, don't you think?
Really kind of sick.
It could be like that I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus, which I don't know about you, but for years I thought it was to be taken literally.
I didn't realise the obvious message was that Santa Claus is daddy dressed up.
And mummy was kissing him, so it's actually quite... I hadn't worked that out until you talked about that.
Until now, right, okay.
No.
It could be one of those things.
But I'm letting them out too lightly, aren't I?
No, it's not, Dick.
I think you and I are now far enough down the rabbit hole to realise that there's a reason why Santa is an anagram of Satan.
And that the whole thing is the sort of paganization stroke commercialization of, I mean, you know, there are arguments that Christians shouldn't be celebrating Christmas at all anyway.
But then then I think that even before even before Satan, Satan Claus got his claws into it, even before that, you know, you look at sort of I think in medieval times they had some kind of celebration, didn't they?
And okay, there's a sort of amalgamation of sort of syncretic nature of Christianity, it sort of absorbs other traditions, so you've got The Yule, which is presumably a Norse pagan festival.
But nevertheless, I think there was an argument that we shouldn't discount Christmas altogether.
But that said, I mean, what's going on now?
It is thoroughly unchristian, the whole thing.
I mean, it's sort of like hauling a tree into your front room and all that.
It's kind of like...
It's a bit off-piste, isn't it?
Now, with my Bible reading, I've got more and more curious as to who wrote the various books.
I talked to you briefly about this before.
And so I've been promising myself, after I've finished King James Version, I'm going to read a book about how Christianity developed based on and around the Bible.
So I'd welcome any recommendations for the good book that covers that.
No pun intended with good book there, by the way.
But I want to know how Easter was invented, how Christmas was invented, how all these things that we think of, or we've been brought up to think of, as being quintessentially part of the Christian faith.
Who decided they were a thing and how they were celebrated and what?
Because I think you're definitely onto something.
There's a satanic element that's crept into it that's thoroughly unchristian and nothing to do with being a follower of Christ.
It's sort of to the point where Most people who celebrate it don't give a damn about the religious element of it.
It's really quite odd.
So, I promised myself I'm going to learn a little bit more, you know, give myself a sort of crash degree in theology.
That'll be good.
I think Easter was Aastro, wasn't it?
That was another pagan festival.
I mean, look, there are those who say, I keep saying that Christianity is the ultimate rabbit hole, because there's so much stuff to learn and investigate.
Constantine, the Emperor Constantine, never really His conversion to Christianity was fake.
Essentially, it was a way of using Christianity to gain power for Rome.
And that it was a chance to incorporate all the Babylonian mystery religions, to amalgamate them.
Which is why, for example, you've got this Asherah Pole, stroke, obelisk in St.
Peter's Square in Rome.
It's virtually like having a pentacle outside.
I mean, they couldn't be more obvious about what they're doing.
And there are arguments that the sort of the Marian element in Catholicism is also quite dodgy, that this is just a kind of rebadged worship of, you know, various female gods from the, you know, from the other side.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think Christians get very worked up about this depending on what their denomination is.
Yeah, the whole denominational thing bores me as well.
I mean, I'm not prepared to go into that with people because I don't want to refight the Protestant-Catholic wars all over again.
It's just very tiresome and people are very entrenched on it.
But I'll take all comers on most other issues to do with it.
But having said all that, I will quite happily be going along with Our dear father to the carol service at Malvern Priory on Sunday.
Happily belt out as many carols as I recognize with him.
But I think taking part in it, believing what we believe in, is completely legit.
We're celebrating the birth of Christ, probably at the wrong time of year, probably surrounded by people who don't give a damn.
But you still do it, and it's still a valid holiday in that respect.
I've already been to ours.
Which one did you go to?
We had ours last Sunday, and it was jolly.
Was it a local church?
Actually what I don't like, in the church, yeah.
Local one?
It was a full house, 120 people came, which was a lot more than come to the Christmas service.
Do you know why we got a full house?
Free booze?
No.
The hotel up the road happened to be staging a Christmas craft fair.
Right.
And all the people who'd come to the Christmas craft fair suddenly discovered that there was this thing on, and they thought, well, why not?
In for a penny.
Right.
How lovely.
Whatever it takes.
I'll tell you what annoys me about Christmas carol services.
Okay, two things.
One, most Christmas carols are really hard to sing because the vocal range is such.
Oh, that's an old game, that one, yeah.
You can either choose to be bass or a falsetto at certain points if you decide to go alto on it.
Yeah, constant game.
You've got to know your carol.
You've got to know how to enter.
And so you're pretty much by the end of the first carol your voice is shot.
I find you know, you start out full of confidence.
You think well, this is great.
I'm I'm it's carols and it's Christmas and Dullala and About the second verse, you suddenly think, the second chorus maybe or whatever, you think, hang on a second, I could hit those notes the first verse, but it's getting harder and harder.
And you know that if you're not careful, you're going to get a honk moment.
Nothing worse than honking in the middle of the carol service.
Oh, it's just awful.
And, but the second, second terrible thing about Christmas carol services, is that you never, they never let you sing the Coventry Carol.
Remind me which one that is.
I'm sure I know it, but I'm not getting it from that.
That's almost as good as my step into Christmas.
It's medieval.
It's from the Coventry mystery play.
So it would probably be late medieval.
So it's probably about 15...
Century, maybe.
And actually, it's not about Xanaduology, it's about the massacre of children.
You're right.
You know, the slaughter of the innocents.
Yeah.
I wonder if I can find the lyrics.
Coventry Carroll, Carroll, lyrics.
I bet our listeners are frantically searching for it, apart from those who are wise enough to know.
Okay, so it's Lulli Lullah, thou little tiny child, so that's alright.
This poor youngling for whom we do sing, bye bye Lulli Lulli.
Herod the king in his raging, charged he hath this day, his men of might in his own sight, all young children to slay.
It's basically about kids being... it's quite a theme of this podcast isn't it?
Kids being slaughtered.
Yeah, kids in basements, kids being slaughtered.
Happy Christmas everyone!
Yeah.
But it is, it is that there's something really special about it.
It's, it's, it's plangent.
Um, and it's, it's medieval.
So it's got that, it's got that gaudete.
Yeah.
Authenticity to it.
It's, there's something about the later carols, which just strikes me as a bit kind of ersatz.
Yeah.
I think generally speaking with hymns and carols, it's kind of the older, the better, isn't it?
I mean the last thing you want is a modern Carol or even worse.
I think of the more modern ones.
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen is probably the best, and you never get to... they never put that in the Christmas service.
You know, if you don't go to the... we didn't have it in our carol service, and that's it, you're buggered.
Well, the other service I'll be going to this year, a repeat visit to the Howe Capel carol service, which is Quentin Letts' church, yeah?
Out in White Alley.
When's that?
I think it's the 22nd or 23rd of December, so really close, really close to Christmas because I think it's on the Sunday.
That's what you want!
But it is absolutely rammed and it's the best service around because his wife is the choir master, mistress, whatever.
Oh, right.
So she is the director of music for this church.
He's very, very involved in this particular church.
In fact, I bumped into him At Hereford Cathedral the other day because he came to a Bach recital and I had a quick word with him there because of course he knows and loves you.
But he's a brilliant character and he's very proud... Does he still love me?
He passed on his regards to you.
I don't think there's any ill will towards you from... Yeah, I'm always curious about people who I used to work, you know, from my incarnation as a mainstream media journalist, and I just wonder how many of them just think I'm just like...
Beyond the pale.
A complete fruit loop.
Well, I'm sure you can still think of you as a fruit loop and hold no ill will towards you, but I'm sure that's where he is, especially as a good Christian that he no doubt is.
But anyway, the service itself is perfection as far as carols go.
It's the best carols.
It's carol reading, carol reading, carol reading throughout the service.
No nonsense.
And it's just an absolute blinder.
Very good Goodwill feeling across the whole church and the beautiful church as well.
So I'll be doing that again this year.
It sounds great.
If I weren't already coming up to stay with you for your Wednesday drinks.
I haven't told anyone about that.
You are going to be a surprise guest.
Don't tell anybody.
Don't tell them.
No.
No, don't.
Don't.
No one will know.
No one will know.
When's this going out?
I don't know.
I could have made an error here.
Probably not before next Wednesday.
I don't know.
The way I saw it was that those who will be surprised by seeing you there can be rewarded by not being such tarts and only turning up because you're going to be there.
So you'll get the quality people who go there regularly.
I wonder whether... Do you think I'm still a draw?
Do you think I'm still a draw?
What?
Sorry?
Do you think I'm still a draw?
Yes, hell yes.
Yeah.
Oh good.
Phew.
Especially among the mad crowd.
No, Dick, in the previous abortive recording of this, where I just had a go at you for having a crap microphone and stuff, you mentioned that you'd taken the leaf out of my book and hadn't prepared at all apart from decorating your set.
Yeah, apart from decorating my helmet.
Because it's a shame, because otherwise we could have played what I now call The nyet-da game.
What is it with you and your Russian?
Are you prepping for the invasion?
Okay, so what happened was, Boy Dellingpole said to me, Dad, you just waste so much time on your Telegram channel and it's completely pointless.
What are you gaining?
And I thought, you've got a point there, son.
And he had started, yeah obviously one wants things, despite knowing that they are just a control mechanism, it's very hard not to do stuff on your phone.
So as kind of a way of weaning myself off doing too much telegram, which is basically loose harvesting, it's just kind of like people People annoying you and then you rising and then and then and you think what have I gained here?
I've just given them my energy.
I mean you do it's quite useful for learning stuff as well.
You know, you get links to new conspiracies and stuff, which is all which is always welcome and some people are really sound but but yeah, nevertheless, I wonder whether it's a good use of time.
So I've started doing.
The Duolingo... Have you come across Duolingo?
I know of people who have used it, yeah.
And swear by it.
OK.
So, Duolingo is how you can learn a language on your phone.
And I then had to decide which language to learn.
And Boyd Ellingpole was already learning Russian.
So that was a kind of incentive, you know, I didn't want him to be suddenly starting knowing Russian and me not.
But also I thought, I mean, why would you not want to learn Russian?
It's a sort of annoying language.
It's a language to annoy people, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very good.
I think that's an excellent reason to learn Russian.
It would have been better... I suppose now I should be learning Arabic, really.
But... You learned Arabic pretty soon.
It would have been better to start, didn't you?
Way back in your early London days, you were learning Arabic.
I was, yeah, but that was short-lived.
But I mean, I can still say Sabal Khe or Masal Khe and Mish Khois.
And I'm sure Arab speakers will be able to correct me on my pronunciation.
Um, But the Russian, there's got a whole new level of... You see, Russian, it's got lots of things going for it.
It's got the complicated alphabet, which is a real barrier.
And yet it's got words that make sense, you know, Ingenieur.
Do you know what ingenieur is?
Is it an engineer?
Or psycholo... No, what's that?
Um, psychologist.
Oh, right, OK.
Or... Pourvoir!
No, that's not an obvious one.
That's cook.
Right.
So... Can you imagine getting to the stage where you could read Dostoyevsky in, um... in the original?
Well, so one of the books I've got that's not connected with Duolingo, and the guy says, if you want to read Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Chekhov, it goes through the list.
He said the only way to read them is in Russian.
I mean, it's not strictly true, obviously, because there are available English translations, but nevertheless.
It would be good to be able... Wouldn't it be wonderful to say one day to people, yes, well, of course, the English translation is all very well, but it really doesn't capture Tolstoy's idiosyncratic use of the language.
You might have to work on not sounding like a wanker, though.
It would be... But Dick, by the time I get to that stage, I will probably be... Well, I'll be dead, for one thing.
I will have been bumped off by by the cabal by then so I'm not going to get to that stage it's just it's just a It would be nice.
I mean, it's far more valid to learn Ancient Greek so you can read original Bible scripts.
I mean, that would be pretty cool.
So you could then engage in arguments about the original translations.
Well, I've learned Russian.
When I've learned Russian, I'm then going to move on to Ancient Greek and Hebrew, obviously.
So I can do the Psalms in their original.
That would be quite good.
I think doing a bit of Chaucer in Middle English was always quite impressive.
That sounds very poetic and beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.
I suppose eventually you get to a point where you can see the crossover between like Nordic languages and like you were talking to that Norwegian guest the other day, you were touching briefly on Norwegian words that have made it into Middle English and what have you say, you know how you understood a little bit of when you watch when you watch a Swedish or a Norwegian drama on Netflix.
There are moments where you can understand the dialogue without the subtitles because some of the words are are so similar.
Yeah, and I think Frisian, for example.
When you hear people speaking Frisian, it really is quite similar to English.
But there are certain languages where it's nothing like ours.
I mean, Hungarian.
That's the obvious one, isn't it?
Hungarian is meant to be absolutely impossible to learn.
It's got no hook in it.
No starting point.
Nothing to make it easy for you.
I was hunting the other day with the Hungarian defense minister.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
He's a good man and guess who he was riding?
I would expect him to be.
Guess who he was riding?
Not Barnaby?
No.
What's your favourite one?
Is Barnaby still with us?
Spartacus.
I rode Barnaby today.
Spartacus.
He was on Spartacus.
I was on my new horse.
he the different Spartacus I was on I was on my new horse that the horse that um uh because I'm really too small for for Spartacus but so Spartacus doesn't even know I'm on him.
And it's great.
You're like a tick.
Yeah, I'm like a tick.
He's so huge.
This won't make sense to you, but it will to people who ride.
I was out with him one day and there was a post and rails.
I tried to kind of kick him on towards the post and rails and he just said no, I'm not going to do that.
And he just basically hopped over the post and rails from a walk, which is how big he is.
So now I'm on the thoroughbred.
Which is the exact opposite of an Irish draft.
I mean, the Irish draft is a kind of like more like a war horse, almost.
Whereas a thoroughbred is a racehorse.
They're all descended from the same bloodline.
We're talking about good bloodlines here, rather than bad bloodlines.
The same bloodlines of horses that came over from Arabia.
And I think the 18th century and all all racehorses can can trace their all thoroughbreds can trace their origins back to this particular.
Bloodline, right?
And they're designed for for racing.
So it's like it's like swapping your keys for the Range Rover for the keys of a Ferrari except a Ferrari that's got that's got ramps in front of it that can jump over hedges.
It's um, it's very exciting.
Yeah, well, I'm way too old now to start getting into horses, and also it's just... Well, me too!
Yeah, I know, but you managed to start it at least 10, 20 years ago.
I did my first proper big hedge the other day.
And there were these, it was a really, really wet, boggy day.
And I started off thinking, oh, I don't want to do this.
It's horrible.
I mean, you always start every day's hunting.
You start like that.
Why am I doing this?
I'm frightened.
It's horrible.
Glug, glug, glug, glug.
And we were hanging around in this field, waiting to sort of set off.
And I could see this, I could see this hedge.
uh which had been prepared in in in front of us and i was thinking we're gonna have to do that hedge aren't we i said well i i was saying to myself it doesn't look too bad it looks quite you know do you i can i can get over that for my first jump and then somebody else said have you seen what's happening in that directional And I looked beyond and I realized there was another field and another hedge, and a field and another hedge, and a field and another hedge.
And somebody pointed out, if we go that way, we're going to have a very exciting run.
And I was thinking, yeah, I'm not sure an exciting run is what I want, but anyway.
We did go that way and I thought well it's going to be doable because the first hedge is easy and they're all going to be like this.
So we go round the houses and I stick near to the Fieldmaster because you want to be near the front, particularly on a boggy day because otherwise what happens is that the horses in front churn up the ground so that by the time you get there it's so sticky you can't get over so well.
So I stuck near the front and suddenly I saw this this hedge which was much much bigger than this bijou hedge that and I just went fuck!
And I did what you have to do in these situations.
I kicked on, I sat deep in the saddle, I looked straight ahead and I prayed because that's all you can do and you've just got to let the horse get on with it.
And make sure you slip the reins.
You've got to slip the reins.
If you don't slip the reins, you die.
Because what happens is either that... Slipping the reins means letting go of the reins.
Letting them slip through your fingers.
Because the horse needs its head to go forward.
And if it's a strong horse like Spartacus, if you don't slip the reins, you'll get pulled forward and you'll go over the front of the horse.
And if it's a sort of smaller horse, then you'll pull the horse down or he'll stop jumping for you because you're pulling his mouth.
Anyway, I was at the other side and I said, that is the biggest hedge I've ever done!
and everyone was going it was alright, it was a perfectly decent size but it was good No one's quite as demonstrative as you, I take it.
Well, yeah, I probably sound a bit of a dick.
Because I'm basically like... Funnily enough, I went out the other day and there was a 12-year-old boy out with us.
And he became my little mate for the day.
Because unlike some of these hardcore hunters, I could say to him, I rather liked that fence, didn't you?
And he'd say, yes, I did.
It was rather good.
You found your level.
I found my level.
Yeah.
That's so sweet.
Well, I have to say that kids are just generally do better chat, you know, around 12 before they get spoilt by by sort of teenage cynicism and stuff.
When they're, give me a 12 year old child to chat to, they're open to things.
You can talk to them about conspiracy stuff and you can talk to them about God and you can talk about, you know, they're They haven't yet had their natural instinct towards Christianity taken out of them by the anti-Christian culture.
So they're open to the idea that maybe God did make the world, and they're open to the idea that maybe we haven't been on the moon, and it's kind of cool.
And they're open to the idea that no, dinosaurs didn't exist.
You were asking about dinosaurs.
I wanted to know whether I'd missed a special guest who was able to cover the whole dinosaur issue in convincing detail.
I mean, I've got the Christian perspective on it, which is, yes, they existed, but not millions of years ago, and they were wiped out in the flood.
They were dragons.
I didn't know.
No, no, no.
They weren't wiped out in the flood.
That's not the Christian perspective.
They were much more recent than that.
They were saying that on one of the podcasts I saw.
Were they?
No.
This is why I'm looking for answers.
I want to know at least what the arguments are.
Every culture has dragons in it.
They can't all have just invented this stuff.
No, dragons existed.
St.
George killed a dragon.
And St.
George was not anti-Diluvian, was he?
When was he around?
About 6th century or something?
Yeah.
And Turkish, apparently.
Well, OK.
We'll just look at the date of St.
George.
Obviously, Google's going to lie, but George.
St.
George.
Also George of Lidya.
Oh, okay.
It's 3rd century.
3rd century, not 5th century.
Late Roman.
But I'm sure that the word dragon's all about.
By the way... Oh, dick.
Have you been down the Joseph of Arimathea rabbit hole?
You mentioned this one to me, that a lost tribe of Israel in Wales or something like that.
That's the other one, that's the British Israel one.
So I've got this really good book which Sandy Adams got for me.
Really, really kindly.
And she gave it to me at the event I did in Stroud.
I love those Stroud people.
You've got to come along to a Stroud one, one time.
They're brilliant.
Yeah, well, they point me in the right direction and I'm there.
Apart from anything else, the venue's great.
Yeah.
But you also get really good food.
They had this food done by this, I think he was French, French chef.
And even though it was vegan, Um, it was really, really good.
Really delicious.
Um, anyway, Sandy gave me this book and yeah, it does cover the British Israel thing as well, which is that the, where did the 12 tribes of Israel go?
Well, after, after they came back from Egypt and stuff and, um, uh, an element of them crossed over Europe.
And ended up in Wales.
Well, in Britain, basically, which is why Welsh speakers can read Hebrew, ancient Hebrew.
And also, I think there are links with Hebrew and Etruscan.
Because when they moved, when the diaspora moved through Italy, you know, they became the Etruscans and then they gradually moved on to, which is why the Welsh name Isaac, for example, that indicates the connection with the Hebrews.
So that's a really good rabbit hole as well.
Alex Thompson doesn't believe it, but I I worry about Alex sometimes.
I don't think he's far enough down the rabbit hole.
I think he tries to keep at least a little toe in normie world.
Or he likes being measured.
No, he is a very measured individual.
I would not hold that against him because also, to be on UK Column, it's got to have a Respectability and not a sensationalist aspect.
Oh, it wasn't a criticism.
Just an observation.
No, I love my podcast with Alex because he kind of reigns me in.
No, he doesn't.
He doesn't reign me in at all.
But he provides a counter to my complete out there... I find it really assuring that someone of his intellect is a Christian.
I really love the fact that we've got people like him on We've got the right people, certainly.
We've got some good people on the team.
Anyway, so to continue the story about... Do you know who Joseph of Arimathea was?
He was the man who requested Pilate to retrieve Christ's body after the crucifixion.
And he was the one who placed them in the tomb, yeah.
So he was... Joseph of Arimathea was Jesus's great uncle.
Oh, right.
And he was the equivalent of one of those shipping magnets.
He had this enormous fleet, probably the biggest fleet.
He lived in Ramallah, what is now Ramallah in Palestine, in whatever it is.
Is it in Gaza?
Maybe?
He had his palace in Ramallah.
He was very, very rich.
And he was the main trader in tin.
So his fleet would go to Cornwall, which was the world's biggest tin producer at the time, and it is said that on some of these expeditions his great-nephew, Jesus, came along for the ride, because we don't know much about what Jesus got up to in his early life.
Right up until just the last few months, if not years, before his death.
It's odd that, isn't it?
You get the birth and then it's like The build up to the crucifixion.
It's really, you know, the lost years and all that.
Exactly.
Which is why I really, if I could be asked, and I haven't got the time, but I really did want to do a TV kids series called And Did Those Feet.
And it would be about the early days of Jesus In the West Country, before he went back to Palestine to do his other stuff.
In this story, obviously, you'd have dragons, and you'd have devils trying to get him, and you'd have Romans, and you'd have all the stuff.
Whether Netflix would make it or not, I don't know.
I did suggest it to Mark Miller, but obviously he doesn't want my ideas.
He'd be happy to do his own ideas, but I think it'd be... It is kind of a little American Jesus-y type thing, isn't it?
Anyway, so, after, um, you're right, Arimathea used his sway with the Romans, because he was quite, he was quite high-powered, I mean, he was quite socially respected.
Yeah, and up until that point, he'd been kind of playing a careful game, not sticking his head above the parapet too much, and this was the first time he emerges as a character, so you can see he would have kind of been one of those who had too much to lose by speaking out.
and becoming an early adopter but he was a disciple along sort of thing.
He then got the tomb for Jesus and after After Christ's death, people involved with Jesus were hunted down by the authorities, mainly of course by Saul.
Saul was the leading persecutor of Christians at the time, which is of course why he was chosen by God to then have his dramatic conversion on the road to Tarsus.
And To flee this persecution, Joseph of Arimathea took a bunch of disciples, including Mary, the mother of Jesus, Cleopas, a number of them, and they went
through Europe to France initially, to Gaul I suppose as it then was, and then they crossed to England where they settled around Glastonbury.
And they were given this.
They were each given these 12 disciples.
They were each given a decent amount of land by the reigning chief, the British chief of the time.
And it seems, well at least according to this book I'm reading, that because of that British-Israel connection already, because of the, that's right, the Druids, their religion was actually a version of the monotheistic religion, that was basically the children of Israel's religion.
So the Druids were already on board with this.
And they, yeah, the disciples settled in England and were given this special space where they built the first church, where Joseph of Arimathea planted his stick, his staff, do you remember?
And it became this, it grew into this thorn bush.
Remember from what?
It's a good story.
Right.
No, well, I've got to read this.
It sounds very similar to a book I recommended to you, I think, Lost Kingdom, about the possible end, the true cross ending up in Wales.
Equally, obviously, Normies will be rolling their eyes so far back into their heads that their eyeballs will disappear.
I don't think Normies watch this programme, do they?
No, no, but when word gets out that this is the sort of shit that Delingpole Brothers believe, it's fantastic stuff.
Is it a secret?
I kind of think it sometimes is because I was with some some of my normie reenactor friends last night so they had friends over from Australia and I met them in the pub for just a quick one and I was chatting away with them
And this is a completely changing subject here, but one of them starts talking about, oh and of course my friend so-and-so, she was going to be doing the diet you're talking about, you know, low carb, but of course she's got long Covid and it's affected her heart and her lungs and she's in a terrible way.
And I was like, I can't say that because they don't want to hear it from me.
They already know that I'm kind of a nutcase and that it would do no good to tell them this.
But I think they forget sometimes that I've got these out there views that are not out there views for our circle of friends, but for our normie friends.
And there's so many of them.
They genuinely believe that the things they're suffering, the heart disorders they've now got that they never had before, are because of long COVID.
And so, yes, I do think there's people out there who don't realize that we're quite as mad as we clearly are.
Especially among our family, I suppose.
You know, the wider elements of our family, not the ones that are nearest and dearest to us.
They all know we're mad.
But, yeah.
They don't watch our podcast, for instance, do they?
Most of the family don't watch it.
They don't.
No, no.
I think they'd kind of rather not know.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what I mean.
It's a bit like what it must be like being married to a satanic paedophile.
You just kind of think like...
Oh, I don't need to know what he gets up to in that cellar of his.
I don't need to know what he gets up to at those meetings.
I hear a bit of screaming coming from the basement, but you know what?
You can ignore it.
You learn to ignore it.
Yeah.
This is, you know, this is another reason why, to go back to my favourite theme, why hunting is my happy place.
Because, basically, I just don't care.
Whenever you're stopped and you're sharing a drink with somebody, I just tell them all the stuff I believe.
I do this podcast and I talk about God and conspiracy theories.
Except they're not theories at all, they're actually fact, and this is how the world is.
And they just take it, because they're stuck next to me on a horse, they can't exactly gallop away, well they can, but not unless hounds are running.
But you know also, the thing they have in common with you, they're taking part in an activity that the vast The majority of the public would be completely against anyway, so you're already doing something virtually forbidden.
Yeah, this is why I'm exploiting their weakness.
You can bloody talk, you're a fox hunting!
You're a fine one to be judging!
We don't hunt foxes, we hunt trails.
We follow trails.
Idiots.
Yeah, you'll get me in trouble with that talk.
No, but that's how the public see it, isn't it?
The public call it fox hunting.
Yeah.
When they see you lot on your horses, they say that lot are fox hunting.
I know.
They do, because they've been trained to do it, to hate us.
I like foxes, anyway.
I think foxes are great.
Of course you do.
And you've never caught a fox in your life.
I know that.
We had this discussion where I've killed more foxes than you.
That while I hit in the car that time, unfortunately.
You certainly have killed more foxes than me.
Although, the only thing I don't like about foxes is their smell.
Their poo is the smelliest poo.
Their poo, and when your dog rolls in it, it's not great.
Do you think it smells like araldite?
No, araldite's nice.
There's an element of fox poo that is araldite-y.
There's some sort of glue in it anyway.
Think about it next time you smell fox poo.
Yes.
You just reminded me, I need to order some more running shoes.
Right, how did I remind you of that?
Well, because there are certain points of the year when I'm running through the Dingle, where my feet smell so much with the absorbed fox scent that I have to wash my feet in the bath.
You see, if you ran on a treadmill, you wouldn't get this.
I like the way it's come full circle.
I like the way it's come full circle.
I thought we could do that.
I'll tell you one thing I hadn't noticed about getting older.
I never used to get chill blains and now I do get chill blains.
I went through a period of getting chill blains.
Running through the mud is what we do, we cross-country runners and now I'm like, oh I don't want to get so wet today.
I'm trying to think of what I did to stop getting chillblains but I suppose it's running on a treadmill that does it.
There you go.
That's my solution.
DMSO I think works.
What's that?
Did you know about DMSO?
Is it a health supplement?
In the new year, one of my resolutions has to be, I've got to do a podcast with Amanda Vollmer.
Anyway, she's the expert on DMSO.
It's kind of like this liniment which is used to treat horses, but it's also a kind of miracle substance that cures everything.
You should definitely have some in your house.
I'm going to write it out.
Things that you should... OK.
Get some DMSO.
Write it down now.
Right.
Also... Draw some piece of paper that isn't important.
Right.
Yeah?
Get some... Have you got colloidal silver?
No.
But I... Why do I know about colloidal silver?
Clive DeCarle does a colloidal silver spray, which is good.
Colloidal silver is one of those things you put... Okay, so, earlier this year, I got this sty-like thing on my eye, and I think it was on my lower lid, and it was getting bigger, you know, this sort of lump, and it was freaking me out.
And obviously I didn't want to go to the doctor because he'd just give me rat poison or something.
Or, you know, rat poison mixed with oil.
Or remove your eye.
Yeah, exactly.
And probably it would inject some sort of mRNA altering substance as well, because that's what they're trying to do, isn't it?
And I looked up on the internet and I saw that one of the cures was colloidal silver.
So, I happened to have an eye bath and I sprayed the colloidal silver into the eye bath and I did this for about a week and it went.
Colloidal silver is the miracle thing that cures loads of stuff.
DMSO does other things.
It's... I mean, what's not to like about these natural remedies?
Probably that they're expensive.
Colloidal silver is just little silver particles suspended in liquid.
Right.
Okay, well I'll be investigating.
I think if you have too much though it turns you blue and you never go unblue again.
I think the Na'vi in that film probably overdosed on... Avatar.
What's it called?
Avatar.
Avatar.
Have we done an hour?
Yes, we have.
Yeah, we've done an hour.
I might be able to get to the pub at this rate.
I'm going to see you next week, aren't I?
Have you got any Christmas messages for our listeners and viewers?
Get thee to a carol service and shamelessly enjoy the glory of it all.
And don't be put off by the crass parts of it.
Well, when we next chat, Dick, we must talk about this divide between Christianity and the kind of the New Age woo, because it's kind of... It's coming to a head, isn't it?
Sorry?
It's coming to a head, isn't it?
It is coming to a head.
It's unfortunate because I want us all to get along, but I think people need to understand that if you are awakening the snake using Kundalini Yoga, you're not doing stuff that is compatible with Christianity.
Because even though yoga is great on many levels, and I've done it myself, that actually you are Invoking forces which are not necessarily good ones.
I've come to the point in my Christianity where I've kind of like realised there's got to come a point where you don't pretend that you're not for an easy life.
You've got to kind of be a bit more out and proud.
And don't be so bloody polite about it all the time and apologetic, I think is probably the word I'm looking for, apologetic about being Christian, which is what I've been with most people up until now.
So I don't know whether it's part of becoming more radicalized or whether it's a natural thing that happens to relatively new Christians, but that's where I'm coming to.
And I suppose part of that is becoming less tolerant of the more obviously other side practices that we encounter.
So it's a minefield.
I'm of the view that, look, I'm not going to judge.
People want to do this stuff, well fine, I still think you're a great person or whatever, but I think people need to know the origins of this stuff.
They need to know what they're actually Engaged with and if look if people I haven't mentioned the person's name because because for various reasons, but If you are going to subscribe to a certain view of the world The sort of the non-christian that the New Age one basically you need at the very least to understand the origins of
of your adopted religious philosophy, that you need to know who it was who was promoting these ideas, where they've come from.
If you don't know about Madame Blavatsky, for example, and you don't know about the woman who founded the Lucifer Trust, etc., then you're not really engaging with your beliefs, you're not being honest about your belief system.
And and there is there a certain we will cover this in another podcast, but it's not about It's not about being a Christian and saying, I'm a Christian and thou shalt not believe this because my God is right and yours not.
It's more a question of, okay, I believe what I believe because X, Y, and Z. There are fairly well-established traditions.
These are my source books starting with the Bible.
This is why I believe that it stands up.
I think that people on the other side of the argument need to be able to stand by their sources.
And if their sources are unreliable, then you think, well, you're on pretty shaky ground here.
Yeah, quite.
Yeah, that's a very good point.
But yeah, it's worth a podcast in itself.
My Christmas, I'm wishing everyone a very happy Christmas, whether you're a pagan, or a cultural Christian, or a proper Christian, whether you're Orthodox, or whether you're Catholic, or whether you're Protestant, or whether you can't be doing with any of these particular Football teams.
And yes, I wish my love and peace and goodwill to everyone.
And will you sign up to my sub-stack?
My sub-stack's really good.
I think sub-stack is where I want to go.
And also have a look at my website, my new website, JamesDellingpole.co.uk.
Yeah?
I think it is?
No.
JamesDellingpole.co.uk.
You're slick.
Oh no.
I'm sure you'll put a link to it underneath the... People can be clicking on it right now.
You'll put a link on it, won't you?
Have a look now, Dick.
I'm going to look now.
James Delingpole... Well, they can also get... Oh!
OK, that was at the moment.
It's jamesdelingpole.co.uk And it's really good.
Andrew Warwick designed it.
He's done a really good job.
And please, will you put your, um, what's it called, when the people give their address?
Like and subscribe.
Like and subscribe.
Yeah, exactly.
That sort of thing.
And you can go to dellingpolestudio.com and buy my Psalm t-shirts and mugs.
And I've got a new stock in, a Zelensky Green Resist t-shirt.
Although, strangely, the XLs have already sold out.
So we've got a lot of, let's call them, big fans.
And there's lots of other good stuff there.
Lots of Deling Pod merch as well.
Are you saying that Zelensky ordered up a job lot in Extra Large?
I think he would be more on the small front, wouldn't he?
I don't know how big he is in real life.
Tiny isn't he?
He's a tiny little dwarf of a man.
But are you saying that he probably has one of your t-shirts?
I think it's highly unlikely.
But the colour is Zielinski Green.
That's what I call it on the website.
Yes, no, I know you call it that, because I was thinking, I was going to say, if he had bought one of your t-shirts, that means that he's probably a man who's played the piano with his penis wearing one of your t-shirts.
That's what he does.
That's fantastic, yeah.
That is his party piece.
Well, on that festive note... On that bombshell!
Well, happy Christmas to all lovely Dilling Pod viewers slash listeners and we'll be back on in the new year.
Should we just do, should we do as our outro, the last, a bit more of Red Lake?
We'll take turns.
Okay.
Do you want to get first or should I?
Do you want to get first or should I?
Happy Christmas everyone.
O.
For to preserve this day, this joy and dream, of whom we do sing, by thy holy Lord,
I am, I am, a little tiny child.
I know you'll be my friend, a little tiny child.
I know you'll be my friend.
Herbert the King, in his regime, Charged he hath this day, His men of might, in his own sight.
All young children to slay.
When we are young, and we are young, by my glory, my name, the name to the child, by my glory, my name. by my glory, my name.
And love is near, O child, for thee, And evermore and day, O night, O night divine!