Church Traditions and Dress Codes
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Yeah, got a new show for y'all.
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Had a damn good show.
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All right, so church is a holy place.
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Yeah.
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They got traditions that shouldn't be broken.
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Well, anybody should be able to go into church.
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Yeah, everybody.
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That's what that's what.
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Whether you're poor, rich, even if you ain't got the money to dress up to go to treacherous.
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Because when you go to church, you're supposed to be dressed up out of respect.
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Well, you know what it says in the Bible, man?
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What did it say?
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They let prostitutes and whores go into church.
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Yeah.
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That's all in Bible.
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If you're a real Christian, you let all people from all walks of life, all cultures walk in.
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It doesn't matter.
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We're all God's children.
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That's what it says in the Bible.
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Remember that.
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What did the Bible say?
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Love thy neighbor as thyself.
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Yeah.
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Which that could be problematic, especially if you're living because you hate yourself.
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You know?
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You know what else?
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That's a catch-22.
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Love thy neighbor as thyself.
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What if you hate yourself?
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You go out there and hurt everybody.
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See, God didn't think of that.
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I thought of it.
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What are you talking about?
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It says, love thy neighbor as thyself.
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What if you hate yourself?
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Then you're going to go out and hurt everybody.
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No, you're missing the meaning of what that means.
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Nobody loves yourself.
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Nobody loves you as much as you loves yourself.
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Okay?
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So you should love everybody as you love yourself.
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No shit.
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Yeah.
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Pastor Hartz, no shit.
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I'm saying, what if you don't like yourself?
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Hey, stop playing devil's advocate.
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Just stick it to the...
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This ain't God ain't perfect.
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Hey, you know what else they say in the Bible?
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What?
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If your woman's bleeding her time of the month, that bitch's supposed to sleep outside.
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You know that?
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Hey, you know what else is in the Bible?
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Well, slavery.
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It says the slave should honor the man.
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Yeah.
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It's in the Bible.
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Yeah, I'm Christian, man, man.
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But some of that stuff God said in that book, man, is suspect.
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Sounds like a dictator to me.
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Now, don't get mad at me because I'm thinking outside the box.
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God gave me a brain.
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I'm going to use it.
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Right?
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Well, you know, okay, I'm not even talking about this no more.
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Yeah, we're getting off top.
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We're pissing off our family.
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So I'm going to show you this video.
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Sorry to all the Christians.
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I was just thinking, you know.
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Just being honest, you know?
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You're not doing...
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You didn't do anything wrong.
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We said some beautiful things in the beginning of this video.
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They said, let everybody come in.
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Whores, prostitutes.
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If you got munchie pops, you let them in there.
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Yeah.
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And that does mean everybody.
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So does a...
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Yeah, they don't say that in the Muslim.
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No, no, the Muslims, that's totally different.
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Yeah, that's totally different.
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Allah, man, you don't want to piss off Allah.
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That's all about respect with them.
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Christian, you can commit all kinds of sins.
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You go in and confess your sins.
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God will forgive you.
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Yeah.
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Not Allah.
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I don't know.
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We're not Muslim.
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We might.
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Really?
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I don't know.
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I'm just speculating.
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I shouldn't have said it about.
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I'm sorry to all the Muslims.
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No, I don't know how that religion works.
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So don't speak on something you have absolutely nothing.
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Yeah, because I'm ignorant.
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I shouldn't be, because I'm not Muslim.
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Yeah.
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A lot of people say I'm a horrible Christian.
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Just because you got a damn beard, you think you're Muslim now.
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Just relax.
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All right, look here.
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Check out these transgenders and they preachers.
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I don't know if they're preaching.
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What in God's name is going on?
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Look at the dude sitting in the back.
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And smiling his face.
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You know why?
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Because he's Christian.
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This is beautiful, man.
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This is beautiful.
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This is God's house.
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Let everybody come out.
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Look, we got some diverse.
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Got a black chick down.
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That's America right there.
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Look at the way he bought that dress up.
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It's more than China.
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Hey, man.
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Yes, Lord.
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Cut this mother.
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Cut him off.
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Cut him off.
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Get your ass out of that church.
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Go home and put some damn decent clothes on.
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No, man, that's not what the...
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No, man.
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If you're going to go to church, you got to dress respectful.
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He's covered up.
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That dude.
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The Lord.
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That was ridiculous.
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Yeah, but that's what God wants, man.
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He wanted everybody in there.
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Yeah.
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All walks of life.
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Whores, prostitutes, murderers, rapists, killers, everybody.
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Let's go to the next video.
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But you know what?
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It's another video.
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There's a trend going on.
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You know what?
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It's great that whatever that was got a relationship with God.
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Yeah, hey.
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Before we go to the next video.
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Don't judge people.
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It says that in the Bible.
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You do not judge.
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And he's got a relationship.
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Well, I don't know if it's his pronouns is.
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I'm thinking he's a child.
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Obviously, it's she.
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Now you know.
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You don't know.
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I don't know.
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That's a she, man.
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I want to be she.
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That ain't no she.
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That's a she, man.
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All that damn neck action, that ain't no she.
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That's she, man.
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I can tell, man.
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I can tell by all them damn curls.
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She's got some beautiful hair.
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Look like she's a descendant of Samson.
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All she needed was some damn sandals on to fit that green dress she got on.
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Hey, but at least she has a relationship with God.
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Yeah, it takes a lot of balls for a transgender to go into a house of worship.
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Shut up, man.
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Let's go to the next video.
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Yes.
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Amen.
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I can leave my supervising change again.
Sodom Jokes and Singing Coaches
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Cause I can see it better I say it's enough.
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Well at least he can sing.
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She can sing better.
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The other one's kind of.
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Really?
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Both of them was horrible.
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They're trying too hard.
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They need to calm it down.
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Take it down a couple notches.
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They need some singing coaches.
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Speechless, man.
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You know, I love to see stuff like this, man.
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People come together.
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Hey, I want to tread lightly on this.
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What do you mean tread lightly?
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I don't want to offend the Christians.
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Well, I'm not.
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I think we already offended Christians.
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You heard all that shit I was talking about, God.
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Well, no, you didn't say anything that wasn't true.
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Yeah, I know.
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I was just joking, man.
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God gave me a sense of humor, you know.
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I love God and Jesus.
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But wait a second.
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But I'm going to say something.
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What is it they say about bring your tire?
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What is it?
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Come as you are.
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Yeah, come as you are?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, come as you are.
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I think what I want to say, sometimes people use religion to divide when I think the whole purpose of religion was to bring everybody together.
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Yeah, you see what I'm saying?
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Yeah, come as you are.
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Only God can come down here and just like flood the earth and kill everybody.
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We can't, we don't have the power to do that.
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We don't have that's not, we don't have that at our discretion.
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God told us to turn the other cheek to love thy neighbor as thyself.
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Yeah, come as you are.
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That's what God wanted.
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That's what God's getting.
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I mean, actually, I would have loved to see this live.
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Really?
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I would have laughed hysterically at both these two.
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No, man, that's not ungodly, man.
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No, no Christian would ever do it.
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If you would have been there in person, you don't think you would have started laughing?
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I had to excuse myself.
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You'd have heard me laughing going out the church.
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And when they started passing around the collection plate, you know what I put in it?
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Condoms and lube.
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Y'all gonna need this when nobody catching diseases.
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Yeah, you know how that shit kind of spreads.
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No, that's that was horrible, but that was unchristian.
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You see it, you see what I did?
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That was unchristian-like, and I recognize that.
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You know why?
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Because I'm a damn good Christian.
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I put gay people in the LGBT in a bad light, and Christianity is not about that.
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You know, you're supposed to love thy neighbor as thyself, and I didn't do that.
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I'm sorry.
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But in the Bible, I'm sorry.
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Hey, hey, come on, man.
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Sorry.
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But in the Bible, it says that man should not lay as a woman or something like that.
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What it says, something like, I'm just paraphrasing.
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Man should not lay down with another woman.
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Lay down.
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It says something to these effects.
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It said, thou shalt not lay as a woman in the bed of another mushroom tip.
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That's what it says.
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Something like that.
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I just know he looks down on sodomy.
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Yeah.
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Solomon Gomorrah.
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Gomorrah like that.
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But you know what that goes both ways, though?
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See, that joke went right over your head.
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What?
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You hear what I said?
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What'd you say?
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You said Solomon Gomorrah.
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You said Gomorrah like it in the ass.
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And that joke just went right over your head.
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You're not even paying attention to me.
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That wasn't it.
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I didn't think it was funny.
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That's why I didn't laugh.
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No, you didn't hear me.
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I heard you.
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I didn't think it was funny.
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You say something funny, I laugh next time.
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But before I was so rudely interrupted, sodomy goes both ways.
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You know that, right?
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Just not gay people.
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Straight people, if you get sucked off, you're going to burn in hell.
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Yeah, a lot of people don't know.
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Sodom is in your mouth and your ass.
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I think sodomy is hand jobs, too, ain't it?
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Yeah, sodomy is hand jobs, foot jobs, the breast, all that.
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If you use it to bust, sodomy is like a facial.
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Yeah.
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That's a sin.
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Boob job, sodomy.
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Yeah.
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Just taking her arm and wrapping around, and you just.
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No, you're getting stupid.
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Sodomy.
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What kind of job is that?
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You got foot job, hand job, damn elbow job.
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Get some elbow action.
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Hey, baby, go some of that damn elbow action you gave me last night.
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That's a damn good show.