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Feb. 23, 2023 - Hodgetwins
11:31
The Greatest Gospel Performance You Will Ever Hear!

Hodgetwins dissect church inclusivity, critiquing biblical passages on menstruation and slavery as dictatorial while debating transgender worshipers' spiritual worth despite vocal struggles. The hosts juxtapose Christian forgiveness with Muslim practices, jokingly suggesting condoms in collection plates to prevent disease, yet condemn this as unchristian for stigmatizing gay people. Ultimately, they navigate complex interpretations of sodomy prohibitions, highlighting the tension between rigid scriptural rules and modern calls for unity over division. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Church Traditions and Dress Codes 00:06:36
Yeah, got a new show for y'all.
Had a damn good show.
All right, so church is a holy place.
Yeah.
They got traditions that shouldn't be broken.
Well, anybody should be able to go into church.
Yeah, everybody.
That's what that's what.
Whether you're poor, rich, even if you ain't got the money to dress up to go to treacherous.
Because when you go to church, you're supposed to be dressed up out of respect.
Well, you know what it says in the Bible, man?
What did it say?
They let prostitutes and whores go into church.
Yeah.
That's all in Bible.
If you're a real Christian, you let all people from all walks of life, all cultures walk in.
It doesn't matter.
We're all God's children.
That's what it says in the Bible.
Remember that.
What did the Bible say?
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Yeah.
Which that could be problematic, especially if you're living because you hate yourself.
You know?
You know what else?
That's a catch-22.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
What if you hate yourself?
You go out there and hurt everybody.
See, God didn't think of that.
I thought of it.
What are you talking about?
It says, love thy neighbor as thyself.
What if you hate yourself?
Then you're going to go out and hurt everybody.
No, you're missing the meaning of what that means.
Nobody loves yourself.
Nobody loves you as much as you loves yourself.
Okay?
So you should love everybody as you love yourself.
No shit.
Yeah.
Pastor Hartz, no shit.
I'm saying, what if you don't like yourself?
Hey, stop playing devil's advocate.
Just stick it to the...
This ain't God ain't perfect.
Hey, you know what else they say in the Bible?
What?
If your woman's bleeding her time of the month, that bitch's supposed to sleep outside.
You know that?
Hey, you know what else is in the Bible?
Well, slavery.
It says the slave should honor the man.
Yeah.
It's in the Bible.
Yeah, I'm Christian, man, man.
But some of that stuff God said in that book, man, is suspect.
Sounds like a dictator to me.
Now, don't get mad at me because I'm thinking outside the box.
God gave me a brain.
I'm going to use it.
Right?
Well, you know, okay, I'm not even talking about this no more.
Yeah, we're getting off top.
We're pissing off our family.
So I'm going to show you this video.
Sorry to all the Christians.
I was just thinking, you know.
Just being honest, you know?
You're not doing...
You didn't do anything wrong.
We said some beautiful things in the beginning of this video.
They said, let everybody come in.
Whores, prostitutes.
If you got munchie pops, you let them in there.
Yeah.
And that does mean everybody.
So does a...
Yeah, they don't say that in the Muslim.
No, no, the Muslims, that's totally different.
Yeah, that's totally different.
Allah, man, you don't want to piss off Allah.
That's all about respect with them.
Christian, you can commit all kinds of sins.
You go in and confess your sins.
God will forgive you.
Yeah.
Not Allah.
I don't know.
We're not Muslim.
We might.
Really?
I don't know.
I'm just speculating.
I shouldn't have said it about.
I'm sorry to all the Muslims.
No, I don't know how that religion works.
So don't speak on something you have absolutely nothing.
Yeah, because I'm ignorant.
I shouldn't be, because I'm not Muslim.
Yeah.
A lot of people say I'm a horrible Christian.
Just because you got a damn beard, you think you're Muslim now.
Just relax.
All right, look here.
Check out these transgenders and they preachers.
I don't know if they're preaching.
What in God's name is going on?
Look at the dude sitting in the back.
And smiling his face.
You know why?
Because he's Christian.
This is beautiful, man.
This is beautiful.
This is God's house.
Let everybody come out.
Look, we got some diverse.
Got a black chick down.
That's America right there.
Look at the way he bought that dress up.
It's more than China.
Hey, man.
Yes, Lord.
Cut this mother.
Cut him off.
Cut him off.
Get your ass out of that church.
Go home and put some damn decent clothes on.
No, man, that's not what the...
No, man.
If you're going to go to church, you got to dress respectful.
He's covered up.
That dude.
The Lord.
That was ridiculous.
Yeah, but that's what God wants, man.
He wanted everybody in there.
Yeah.
All walks of life.
Whores, prostitutes, murderers, rapists, killers, everybody.
Let's go to the next video.
But you know what?
It's another video.
There's a trend going on.
You know what?
It's great that whatever that was got a relationship with God.
Yeah, hey.
Before we go to the next video.
Don't judge people.
It says that in the Bible.
You do not judge.
And he's got a relationship.
Well, I don't know if it's his pronouns is.
I'm thinking he's a child.
Obviously, it's she.
Now you know.
You don't know.
I don't know.
That's a she, man.
I want to be she.
That ain't no she.
That's a she, man.
All that damn neck action, that ain't no she.
That's she, man.
I can tell, man.
I can tell by all them damn curls.
She's got some beautiful hair.
Look like she's a descendant of Samson.
All she needed was some damn sandals on to fit that green dress she got on.
Hey, but at least she has a relationship with God.
Yeah, it takes a lot of balls for a transgender to go into a house of worship.
Shut up, man.
Let's go to the next video.
Yes.
Amen.
I can leave my supervising change again.
Sodom Jokes and Singing Coaches 00:04:54
Cause I can see it better I say it's enough.
Well at least he can sing.
She can sing better.
The other one's kind of.
Really?
Both of them was horrible.
They're trying too hard.
They need to calm it down.
Take it down a couple notches.
They need some singing coaches.
Speechless, man.
You know, I love to see stuff like this, man.
People come together.
Hey, I want to tread lightly on this.
What do you mean tread lightly?
I don't want to offend the Christians.
Well, I'm not.
I think we already offended Christians.
You heard all that shit I was talking about, God.
Well, no, you didn't say anything that wasn't true.
Yeah, I know.
I was just joking, man.
God gave me a sense of humor, you know.
I love God and Jesus.
But wait a second.
But I'm going to say something.
What is it they say about bring your tire?
What is it?
Come as you are.
Yeah, come as you are?
Yeah.
Yeah, come as you are.
I think what I want to say, sometimes people use religion to divide when I think the whole purpose of religion was to bring everybody together.
Yeah, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah, come as you are.
Only God can come down here and just like flood the earth and kill everybody.
We can't, we don't have the power to do that.
We don't have that's not, we don't have that at our discretion.
God told us to turn the other cheek to love thy neighbor as thyself.
Yeah, come as you are.
That's what God wanted.
That's what God's getting.
I mean, actually, I would have loved to see this live.
Really?
I would have laughed hysterically at both these two.
No, man, that's not ungodly, man.
No, no Christian would ever do it.
If you would have been there in person, you don't think you would have started laughing?
I had to excuse myself.
You'd have heard me laughing going out the church.
And when they started passing around the collection plate, you know what I put in it?
Condoms and lube.
Y'all gonna need this when nobody catching diseases.
Yeah, you know how that shit kind of spreads.
No, that's that was horrible, but that was unchristian.
You see it, you see what I did?
That was unchristian-like, and I recognize that.
You know why?
Because I'm a damn good Christian.
I put gay people in the LGBT in a bad light, and Christianity is not about that.
You know, you're supposed to love thy neighbor as thyself, and I didn't do that.
I'm sorry.
But in the Bible, I'm sorry.
Hey, hey, come on, man.
Sorry.
But in the Bible, it says that man should not lay as a woman or something like that.
What it says, something like, I'm just paraphrasing.
Man should not lay down with another woman.
Lay down.
It says something to these effects.
It said, thou shalt not lay as a woman in the bed of another mushroom tip.
That's what it says.
Something like that.
I just know he looks down on sodomy.
Yeah.
Solomon Gomorrah.
Gomorrah like that.
But you know what that goes both ways, though?
See, that joke went right over your head.
What?
You hear what I said?
What'd you say?
You said Solomon Gomorrah.
You said Gomorrah like it in the ass.
And that joke just went right over your head.
You're not even paying attention to me.
That wasn't it.
I didn't think it was funny.
That's why I didn't laugh.
No, you didn't hear me.
I heard you.
I didn't think it was funny.
You say something funny, I laugh next time.
But before I was so rudely interrupted, sodomy goes both ways.
You know that, right?
Just not gay people.
Straight people, if you get sucked off, you're going to burn in hell.
Yeah, a lot of people don't know.
Sodom is in your mouth and your ass.
I think sodomy is hand jobs, too, ain't it?
Yeah, sodomy is hand jobs, foot jobs, the breast, all that.
If you use it to bust, sodomy is like a facial.
Yeah.
That's a sin.
Boob job, sodomy.
Yeah.
Just taking her arm and wrapping around, and you just.
No, you're getting stupid.
Sodomy.
What kind of job is that?
You got foot job, hand job, damn elbow job.
Get some elbow action.
Hey, baby, go some of that damn elbow action you gave me last night.
That's a damn good show.
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