Hodgetwins host mocks Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot's hyperbolic tweet warning the LGBTQ community of a Supreme Court crackdown, dismissing fears of criminalization or concentration camps as absurd. He critiques her conflation of abortion access with gay rights and launches into a theological debate questioning whether Jesus acts as a tyrant condemning consensual acts to hell. Ultimately, the segment concludes that Lightfoot's rhetoric lacks credibility and serves only to incite unnecessary panic rather than address genuine legal threats. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Defend Yourself in Biden's America00:10:08
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All right, so we're going to talk about Laurie Lightfoot.
She the, what is she, mayor?
She mayor of Chicago.
Man, they're mayor.
People actually went to the voting polls and voted for her.
I would like to see the pictures of these vegetables that voted for this woman.
It'd be a line of little yellow minions.
Right?
Little yellow short bastards lined up.
Right?
But she tweeted this.
What did that woman tweet, man?
To my friends in the LGBTQ ABCDFG community, the Supreme Court is coming for us next.
This moment has to be a call to bear arms.
Oh, man.
A call to arms.
A call to arms.
Y'all ain't got no guns.
Y'all don't believe in the second amendment.
You ain't got no guns.
No, but seriously, what they're going to do to gay people?
I mean, what is the Supreme Court going to do to gay people?
Lock them up, put y'all in concentration camps.
No, seriously, what has the Supreme Court got in line?
Yeah.
For the gay community.
They're going to start locking people up for gay sex.
Get a search warrant.
Busting a house.
That's a man sucking another man up.
Oh, you go to hell for that shit.
I'm the old you.
You're going straight to jail.
Yeah, six and nine, and it was made for men and women.
Nothing to do.
Yeah.
All that nut busting in the mouth.
Oh, y'all going.
Y'all getting 15 years for this.
The Supreme Court going to do that?
Oh, man.
All that damn muff diving, all that finger banging.
All that scissor action.
All that damn pegging, all that damn, all that strap on action.
They're going to start locking up people for this shit.
The Supreme Court ain't going to do nothing to gay people.
What do you think she's talking about, man?
She's talking, she, what I think she's doing, she's just trying to salvage her career, galvanize her base, because she knows they're a bunch of idiots.
She saw them stand in line, vote for her.
They look like minions.
That's why she's doing what she's doing.
Ain't nobody going to do nothing to gay people.
Y'all still can marry one another.
Y'all could still do all that muff diving, all that finger banging, all that strap on, all that pegging, all that 69 action.
They ain't gonna do nothing, man.
All that glory hole action, all that lube, all that swallow, all that spitting.
Y'all can still do all that because a lot of straight people do it too.
All that sodomy, all that damn sodomy, all that.
Don't worry, but if there's a hell, we're gonna be in hell right there with he'd be down in hell, lower life foot.
Like, what the hell are you doing down here?
You was conservative, well, ass is ass.
There's no ass for anybody, even for straight people.
Yes, uh, blowjobs aside of me, man.
Yeah, blowjobs aside of me, ass aside of me.
They just like the homosexuals.
Man, God, Jesus is strict, man.
Yeah, he's damn like he let the straight people give him a pass.
I mean, who don't like getting sucked off?
You know, the I know you, Christian women, you like to get, you know, licked.
Yeah, that's Jesus.
Said, we're going to hell for this shit.
You die, you go up to the brother gates.
Hold on.
What the hell is this?
He got a video.
Why are you sucking your husband's dick for?
Huh?
No, I can't let you in here.
No, no, no.
You should have thought of that before you sucked him off.
Take your ass straight to hell.
I don't think Jesus is that.
I don't think Jesus is a tyrant.
I mean, it ain't no such thing as a perfect Christian.
I mean, if you get sucked off and you have sex, anosex with your wife, and you did a bunch of good, I don't think that's going to be, I don't think that's a deal breaker.
If it is a deal breaker, then Jesus is a damn tyrant.
Hey, don't say that.
I could free up.
Take that back.
What?
Dog, man.
Jesus gave me a brain.
He made me a comedian.
Jesus made me who I am today.
I'm telling you right now, if he's that strict, heaven going to be empty as hell.
It's going to be about eight damn.
It's going to be, it's going to be like, man.
It's going to be like eight televangelists up out there.
You see them on Sunday every week.
I don't even think Jimmy Swagger is going to make it to heaven.
He picked up a prostitute.
Jim Baker, he slept with all kinds of prostitutes on that damn sinner.
Hey, Lord.
Ain't nobody making it to heaven.
Ain't nobody.
Nobody making heaven, man.
I don't care who you are.
You ain't making it to heaven.
Hey, love you.
Hey, that's like having a 900 credit score.
You ain't ever going to get a 900 credit score.
Hey, but anyway.
You ain't going to make it to heaven.
She tweeted this other tweet.
What'd she tweet?
The synic just failed to protect our rights to an abortion.
This is exactly why I declared Chicago as a safe haven for abortion.
I will always make sure you have access to the essential health care you deserve.
First off, why do you even care about abortion?
You're gay.
You shouldn't even have that problem.
Health care.
I don't know what doctor will call that health care.
The only doctor would call that health care is Dr. Kvorkin.
You know what they did to him?
They locked his ass up.
Exiled.
I think he was actually doing a noble thing.
I do too, actually.
I mean, I don't want to piss people off, you know, killing yourself.
That's a sin.
You go straight to hell.
But Dr. Kvorkin was like assisted suicide for people who was like dying and sick and suffering and they dying.
They got no hope.
Yeah.
Right?
And he was like just assisting them.
Yeah, you burned in hell for that.
You're going to burn in hell right there with Kuvorkin.
I'm going to be down there with the homosexuals.
You're going to be there with a bunch of homosexuals and a bunch of straight people having anal sex.
Hey, but all sisters, it's like Dr. Kvorkin.
They threw him into jail.
And I think, I think, I think it was.
Let me do some talking.
You got to do some talking.
You got to do some talking.
Let me finish.
You got two consenting adults.
And you got two consenting adults.
That's what I was going to say.
Okay.
And you suffered.
There's no hope for you.
You're going to die.
And the doctors are keeping you alive so you can suffer longer.
Yeah.
Hey, but that's how you get in heaven.
That's what they say.
That's what my mama told me.
You got to suffer, especially if you've been doing all that side of me.
All that suck action.
You're going to have to earn your way to heaven.
That's how you earn it.
I remember I asked my mama because we'd have Bible study every Sunday.
Mama's Christie.
Mama's a good woman.
And I was talking to somebody.
She was violent, though.
Yeah, she was violent as hell.
You make a joke, she take that Bible.
Smack you, smack you, smack you in the face with that black sink bow.
Hey, but my man, my mama asked her, said, Mama, you know, people that's like suffering, and I can't do anything for them.
Why don't they just like help them die?
Mama said, oh, that's a sin, boy.
You're going to go to hell for that.
You're supposed to suffer.
Like Jesus did.
That's how you earn your way in the hell.
That's how you weren't asked.
I remember my mama told me that.
Wash you up your sins.
Yeah, washes you of your sins the more you suffer.
So if you die in your sleep, you go straight.
Straight though.
But anyway, you stupid.
I'm just saying.
Lori Lightfoot, ain't nobody coming after the homosexuals.
I mean, what can the Supreme Court do to homosexuals?
They're not going to outlaw sex.
I mean, you can still do your finger banging.
You can still do your muff diving.
I mean, what are they going to do to the gay community?
What could they possibly do?
She just hyperbole, man.
And you're inciting violence.
You said a call to arms?
Yeah.
That sounds like insurrection words.
What if Trump said, hey, call to arms?
We're going to the Capitol.
Yeah.
But everybody knows you're full of shit, Lori.
Because y'all ain't got no guns.
Y'all don't even know how to load a gun.
Yeah, how the hell did you become male?
Oh, that's right.
You're a male of a shithole.
You couldn't get elected nowhere else but another shithole.
Yeah.
That place is a shithole for a reason.
Y'all elect stupid liberal leaders.
There's some good areas, though, man.
But yeah, Republican areas.
But some of those areas, man, it's like, you better off living in Iraq.