Hodgetwins mock a reporter's "false equivalence" comparing Covid and Vietnam deaths, utilizing explicit anatomical analogies to dismiss the logic. They criticize politicians like Maxine Waters and Ted Cruz for fostering "no snitching" cultures that hinder law enforcement, while falsely attributing a quote to Abraham Lincoln. The segment concludes with insults regarding the reporter's intelligence, references to the "Kung Flu," and a promotional plug for their website offering a discount code named "reparations." [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Comparing Two Totally Different Situations00:03:35
If an American president loses more Americans over the course of six weeks than died in the entirety of the Vietnam War, does he deserve to be re-elected?
I know you failed philosophy.
I don't think she took philosophy.
You know what's happening right now?
All these philosophy professors are making an example out of you in that classroom.
Yeah, see this?
Listening to this stupid question.
Can you name the illogical reasoning in this one?
Your question was based on a logical fallacy known as...
Yeah.
What's it called?
I forget.
A false equivalent.
Yeah.
Based on a false equivalence.
False equivalence is like when you're comparing something like when you're like comparing apples to oranges.
You're comparing them because they're both fruit.
But can you really compare them?
Look, it's like comparing penises to vaginas.
Yeah.
Yeah, one of them gets hard.
Yeah.
This one gets wet.
Yeah.
This one squirts.
And this one gets really wet and sometimes it squirts.
You compare them because they're sexual reproductive organs, but can you really compare the two?
See, that's what you did.
You're comparing deaths in two totally different situations.
You're comparing deaths in a war compared to a global pandemic, a novel virus.
How can you compare those two?
Whenever a novel virus hit in history, millions of people have died.
Yeah.
You can't compare the two.
I mean, I wish you was as smart as good looking you are.
Oh man, you'd be Albert Einstein.
Yeah, but unfortunately, you got the intelligence of Maxine Waters.
And she's not very bright.
I used to think these governors, these elected officials, congressmen, senators, I used to think these people are very smart, man.
No, these people represent their district.
Maxine Waters is an excellent representation of her district.
AOC, an excellent representation of her district.
Unfortunately.
Like you look at Ted Cruz now.
That's a fine.
That's a fine man.
That's a fine man.
He's an excellent representation of his district.
Lindsey Graham.
Lindsey Graham.
It's a fine representation of his district.
Matt Gates, fine representation.
That bad dude, sharp.
Totally, these men are running totally different civilizations.
Yeah.
I mean, you go to AOC or Maxine Waters district, they don't even call it cops because they don't believe in snitching.
Hey, your neighbor just got shot.
Nope.
I don't believe in this.
I don't believe in snitching.
I'm not a snitch.
Look, Ted Cruz could actually move to Maxine Waters' district and say, man, I need to help these people.
I need to get Maxine Waters out of here.
Yeah.
Right?
He would lose miserably because all Maxine Waters would have to do is this.
Yeah.
Hey, don't let the last name fool you, but he's white and he's a white supremacist.
Vote for me.
You know why?
Because she's an excellent representation of her damn district.
You know, Abraham Lincoln had this famous quote, man.
I always forget it, man.
It's a good quote, though, man.
I remember it.
I'd have to paraphrase it.
You know it by heart?
I know it by heart.
Abe Lincoln said this back in the 1800s.
Yep, smart man.
He said, it's better to keep your damn mouth shut.
He said like, I'll paraphrase it, of course.
No, I'm going to do it the way he did it.
Better To Keep Your Mouth Shut00:01:23
Yeah.
This is Abe Lincoln we talking.
I got to show some respect.
Yeah.
Abe Lincoln said this again back in the 1800s.
Yeah.
He said it's better to keep your...
It's better to...
It's better to keep your damn mouth shut and be thought of as a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
That's what you did late in this damn press conference.
Year 2020, you've done us a box of rocks.
Yeah, it's damn sure.
You need to go read a book there, Lefty.
You hate your president so much, you let me cloud your judgment.
Yeah, that question was beyond stupid.
Yeah, a third grader would ask that.
You know why?
Because you're stupid.
Go easy on him, man.
Man, I don't know how the president puts up with this.
Yeah, I know how.
He's a fine representation of all the conservatives here in America.
That's how Trump 2020.
Yeah.
Hey, to support the Hawks Twins, go to official HawksTwins.com.
Yeah, go pick you up a patriotic conservative t-shirt today.
Hell, we even giving you 10% off.
Yeah.
Use discount code reparations.
The reparations for us.
Because of this Kung Flu, we ain't got no new shows come.