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Dec. 12, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
47:07
COMPOUND CENSORED - EP174 / TACS 1849: CURIOUS JEWS (Free Part)

  Gavin and Anthony recap Atlantic City, animals having consciousness, and the apparent alien invasion.

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Time Text
Hi, everybody.
How are we doing?
Welcome back to our show.
And of course, it's Wednesday, which means myself, Anthony Cumia, and Mr. Gavin McInnes.
Hi, Gav.
What up, nigga?
How you doing?
I need to fix my screen real quick because I'm only getting...
I'm not getting the multiple screen thing.
It doesn't seem to be on the Compound app.
Hmm, interesting.
Interesting.
I don't even know what to do.
Let's see.
Multi-speaker.
I don't know.
I don't think I'm getting what we get, like what goes out.
Okay, there it is.
There it is.
Now, all I need to do is put speaker.
There it is.
Okay.
That's all I needed.
Boom.
The two shot, as they call it.
The two shot.
The two shot.
Thank you.
Me and Gavin, here we are hanging out Wednesday after our big Atlantic City weekend, which was so much fun.
That was a very good time.
You have interesting friends.
It was great seeing you.
You have pretty interesting friends.
Dude, Mikey Cuffs is a Batman villain called the Giggler.
Yes!
He's taking his hat off.
Does he have head trauma?
I love him, but he seems special.
It's when he's having some drinks, he tends to get very laughy, like he'll push you around a little bit.
Yeah, the hat comes on.
Yeah, yeah, the hat comes off.
Hey, how you doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I go, so you're just retired, huh?
You must really want to talk about blacks.
Yeah.
Then for the rest of the night, every time I saw him, he'd be like, what are we going to talk about the blacks, huh?
What are we going to talk about the blacks?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's Mikey Cubs.
He's a pisser.
So I didn't see...
Sunday, I just got up.
I was driving, right?
It's Atlantic City.
So I was just like, are you around?
You didn't respond.
So I just went home.
What did you do?
And that was pretty early for Atlantic City.
It was like noon.
What did you do Sunday?
Yeah, yeah.
I slept a lot Sunday.
I was fucking beat.
And it wasn't even like drinking beat or spending that many hours at the blackjack.
I just was not feeling the gambling on Sunday.
It just wasn't really happening.
On Saturday or Sunday?
Well, Saturday night, yeah.
Friday is the big night.
Saturday, I wasn't feeling the gambling.
It just wasn't clicking.
And, you know, we hung out, had a good time at that bar with the prostitute whore.
Asian whore lady.
I think you absolutely walked up to her and just called her a piece of trash.
No, I said you're abhorrent.
Everything about your life is disgusting.
You shouldn't have been born, and now you're like this satanic ghost that floats through the Western world, where you don't belong, by the way, because she had an accent, where you don't belong, and now you're putrefying our culture with your disgusting career.
Yes.
And then I called security on her.
There's whores in here.
It's disgusting.
Yeah.
And security actually came over, had a little chat with her, but didn't remove her from the establishment.
But I did notice after that chat, she stopped looking.
Because all she would do is look and smile with this dumb, fake, whore smile.
And the fucking thing is, she was behind you.
We're sitting at the bar.
Me and Gavin are facing each other, you know, sort of turn the bar stools, you know, so you can face each other.
You've drank at a bar with friends.
And she's right behind Gavin, like over his shoulder.
And yeah, she's like...
With this dumb smile.
And I'm trying to talk to Gavin.
And she's literally like one eye twitched to the side.
It was bugging the living fuck out of me, that hooah.
And it's like, this is what I look like, okay?
I know there's no...
Asian women that are above a four clamoring to hang with me.
There's no women at all, actually.
Not even ugly ones.
So this is all a fucking lie.
And I can't tell you how many small town proud boys have come to like a major meetup in Vegas or something.
And there's some hot black chick and they're like, well, well, well, look here.
A lady thinks I'm a cutie.
And they take her up to the room.
It'll usually be two.
One of them, they'll fuck.
I don't even know what they do.
But then the other one goes through everyone's pockets.
It's Vegas, right?
So you have like $2,000 in your fucking pants.
It's a criminal enterprise.
It's like, come on, guys.
Come on!
And how many guys did we see walk into that bar and start talking with that woman and then touching her?
One guy was running his fingers through her hair like, oh, get the fuck out of here.
You know what I don't think I ever told you?
When I first met Tucker Carlson was probably 2000 and he invites me to a steakhouse in Midtown.
And I was with him, and he had, like, his show.
There was the guy, Pete Begalia, and then the other guy with the wife who's a Republican who wears LSU shit everywhere, James Carville.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Because he had a show with them at the time.
Oh, God.
All right, so that's fine.
Great.
At least, like, even though there's, Paul Begali is probably pretty moderate, but the other guy's pretty liberal, but at least they're, like, smart.
Like, it's pretty rare you find a smart liberal.
I love smart liberals.
I find one maybe every year and a half.
So I was thrilled to, like, talk.
But the restaurant, the steakhouse, which you could probably dig up, had this hot black chick who was coming around and just sitting with us.
Now, no one was fucking her.
She wasn't a prostitute.
But her role at the restaurant was to make the high rollers seem comfortable.
And fucking, what's his name?
LSU, New Orleans, dude.
Carvel.
Carvel loved it.
And so he's got this, like, eight on his knee.
Not an eight to you, but an eight to Benny.
Maybe ape.
Sounds like eight.
That's why I don't like talking to you before the show starts.
This could have been on the cutting room floor.
Can't have that.
And he's enjoying her.
I'm all for romance.
I love it when people have a rapport.
But this fucking medieval concept of these fucking...
We might as well be salarymen in Japan with some girl coming by.
It's just fucking disgusting and sad.
And it makes me more angry at the men.
Yes.
They're like, a lady likes me!
Yay!
Such bullshit.
Fuck off, dude.
You see that everywhere.
The strip club.
You know, the guy that thinks the girl really likes him.
And, you know, we were talking about that, too.
Like, if you're going to try to pick up a stripper, you just need a lot of money.
And you got to have some talk.
You got to have the gift to gab with these girls.
You know, and it's pretty easy.
But you need a lot of money.
That way you weed out the wheat from the chaff.
You get the good-looking stripper over there.
And now you also have to have this talent, be able to get rid of the vultures.
Because if you're dumping a shitload of money out and you get one of the hot ones that come over to you, now they're all coming over for their cut.
You've got to be, no.
This is what I claim in the strip club tonight.
Well, you're forgetting the third talent called a giant bag of coke.
Oh, right, right, right.
Yes, the Coke.
Well, if you don't do Coke, and not that you have to do it to give it out.
It's probably better if you don't do Coke, but you have some for the girls.
That way, you know, you're not really going to run out.
So, yeah, yeah.
Coke wasn't my bag, Matt.
Well, speaking of bags.
Unfortunately, the time I was into doing coke, I was dirt poor.
So, you know, imagine how things could have been if I had all the money I've had and was into coke.
How much better it would have been.
That was back in the days where you're just doing Blotto's coke in the fucking backstage.
Stealing other bands coke in dressing rooms.
Yes.
Well, I don't know if you see the bulge here, but...
I brought a girl, a stripper, home once.
Not home, but to the place I was staying at in Montreal.
I'd moved to New York and I was coming back.
And we had coke.
And me and the girl I was with there, first of all, my girl seduced the stripper in the fucking, what do you call that?
The private dance room, whatever.
Yeah, yeah, the...
Champagne room?
Champagne room, whatever.
But in Montreal, it's booths.
So she was in a private booth.
Yeah, the lap dance room, whatever it is.
Yep.
Got her back.
I go, you two take your shirts off.
They take their shirts off.
I was down to my last pubes of blow.
And I laid out a pew beach.
It would disappear as you went towards it because you would breathe.
It was like the Pompeii statue of what a line used to be.
It's gone, right?
Gone.
So they pretty quickly got sick of their pubes, and the stripper was like, it's French Canada, right?
Is that all you got?
Are you done now?
And I go, yeah, but I have weed and vodka.
And she's like, yeah, I'm out.
And she puts on her, and she leaves.
So the threesome was just four tits, that's it.
So since then, I had a surgeon insert a bag of Coke into my forearm and stitch it up.
So if things ever get to that ever again, which they won't, but the odds still exist, I can just take a scalpel and just cut into my flesh.
Cut into it, and now you have...
Because you blew the opportunity for a real live threesome.
It would have been fucking a crazy night.
I want to just like send that guy a pillowcase of blow through a time machine.
Fuck killing Hitler.
Yes.
That's it.
You know, if you could fool someone into telling them you're gonna kill Hitler with a time machine, and then you just go back with a big bag of coke for this poor Gavin McInnes kid.
The Germans were like, I don't mean to, we're very happy that you're doing this and risking, you know, life in prison for killing a baby, but why are you bringing an eight ball to go kill a baby in Austria?
I may do some stops along the way.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Stop in Montreal.
Yeah.
Some intelligence.
I hear someone there really knows where they keep the Hitler baby.
I want to kill Hitler's great-grandson.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm doing stops.
And he's probably a coke head.
I gotta earn his confidence.
Yeah.
And then, like, young Gavin sees you walk, you know, knock on the hotel room door, and he's like, Dad?
No, you fucking idiot.
Shut the fuck up.
Here.
Don't blow it.
Just don't blow it.
And then I get a knock on my time machine at like 6 a.m.
Hey man, you got any more?
You got more?
I needed more.
I brought you an eight ball.
You finished an eight ball?
Or he ODs and you disappear.
Yeah, yeah, you pull the Marty McFly.
There's fentanyl in it.
My hands start disappearing.
Fuck!
Right, yeah.
Yeah, you gave him some fentanyl coke, you dummy.
Or my ego is so huge from that awesome threesome that I come back and I'm this washed up dude at the bar who's bald and has like, I was going to say tons of jewelry, which I do have.
And I'm like, I was a fucking legend.
Yeah.
In Montreal, I used to have threesomes all the fucking time.
And I'd have a time machine to bring me more coke.
Time machine to bring me coke?
How many threesomes you had?
Probably none, you fucking loser.
Oh, no.
It never works.
It's for the best.
The time machine never works.
It's for the best.
Yeah, it's always for the best to just leave that time machine alone.
Don't.
Even killing Hitler, that wouldn't do very good.
Well, what if you kill Hitler and there was fucking Jews in the world?
What did you say?
600 more Jews?
It'd be 600 more.
Based!
Just kidding, Jews.
Oh, that reminds me.
Can we make this a free episode?
Yeah.
Are you cool with that?
All right.
Can I briefly shout out a sponsor?
Yes, please.
I love it.
Purple Works Nutrition.
Fantastic pre-workout.
I'm on it today.
I was...
In fact, New York State champion Larry Barnes said to me, what are you going to do?
I'll fight you.
I'll fight you.
I said...
I handed him my phone.
Pull up Purple Works in the back there, right?
I said...
Wow.
That is the kind of confidence you have when you've had Purple Works Nutrition.
I also asked him if he likes Dr. Seuss because I want to read him a bedtime story before he goes to sleep.
Gavin, promo code Gavin, 15% off, purpleworksnutrition.com.
Fantastic pre-workout.
As I keep saying, you rape yourself.
You take a spoonful, put it in water, you drink that.
If you don't go to the gym and you go to work, you have ants crawling all over your body and your day sucks.
You have to go to the gym and start punching the heavy bag like it raped your sister or you'll be uncomfortable for the rest of the day.
PurpleWorksNutrition.com.
Promo code GAVIN. 15% off.
I don't just say this because I've been being paid.
I'm on this right now.
Technically, it's probably still in my bloodstream.
I do try the shit we talk about.
Like Nita Fashions.
NitaFashions.com.
When I wear suits on this show, I'm wearing NitaFashions.com.
And a promo.
And we can, you know what we do on these free ones?
We cut them off before the end of the show.
So we'll just get a taste of how fantastic this show is and then we'll cut them off.
Wow.
Yeah.
I love it.
That sounds like a good incentive to go to the gym if you take it and then you're like, I'm not going to go.
And then you're just itching.
Yeah, what is it called, Ryan?
Beta-calanine or something?
Beta-alanine.
Beta-alanine.
And it's, I don't know what it is, but it's these prickles in your body.
And then if you're driving to the gym and you know someone almost hits you, you go, Jesus Christ!
You get this surge of it and now it's like pinholes all over your body.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
And you've got to work out to a certain level just to get it out of your fucking...
Sounds awesome.
Yeah, it's great.
Sounds fun.
But you also, you have a second wind at the gym.
Our buddy Tony that we were with in Atlantic City, he was saying to me, I can bench press 250 pounds.
And I go, you absolutely cannot.
There's no fucking way you can do that.
And he goes, okay.
First of all, I go prove it.
He goes, I did it at your house last time I was in town.
And I go, okay, do you have evidence of this?
He shows me a picture of him on my son's bench press thing, weight set, with 125 pounds on his barbell.
I go, that's 125 approximately.
I also go, I'm not sure we have 250 pounds of weights.
Well, the bar is 100. Right, right, right.
We're going to have to add iron skillets and ski boots and have, like, a kid sit on either side to get up there.
So he came to my house before we went to Atlantic City.
He flew to New York, and then we drove in together.
And I gave him 150 pounds, and it's coming down on his chest, and then it's not coming up, and he just goes...
Oh, no.
He just goes, help!
But I'm not Lou Ferrigno.
I now have to pick it up off his chest like this.
I can't pick up 150 pounds like this.
Who am I? No.
So I'm like, well, we both got to work on this together because I'm not sure I can help you, buddy.
Jeez.
I've seen some videos of people dying.
Like watching snuff films.
You watch some guy on a bench.
Or rolls the neck or whatever?
And he decided to video himself working out alone.
And they just clang.
And you see the twitching and everything.
And he's just dying.
It's pretty sick.
Yeah.
What do you watch that on?
Crazyshit.com brutal content?
It's literally called X. I just watch it on fucking X. It comes up in my feed.
I don't want to see it, but if it's put there, then I have to watch.
I'm like, oh, God.
I've watched.
I've seen more people die than Vietnam fucking deaths that have done three tours.
I've seen a lot of death on the Internet.
I hate it.
You know, crazyshit.com has that thing, 25 people having a worse day than you.
And it's often very funny, like falling down stairs and stuff.
Yeah.
But then it'll be some nip, some gook in Korea.
Sorry, free podcast.
Some racial epithet for a third world person.
And they're on their little scooters going...
And you're like, slow down.
You're in the third world.
Oh, God, yes.
And there's the trucks, these fucking third-world trucks with their big, harsh back, not even bumpers, back I-beams.
No safety.
Nothing.
There's no plastic.
It's just a big steel thing at exactly face level.
And you'll see the guy just go...
I assume rip his head off.
Yeah, I would assume.
And then he gets run over by the car behind him.
You've got to filter.
I do not want to see that.
I don't want to see it either.
And I never wanted to see these things.
And I still have things I will not watch.
Beheadings.
No.
I've seen photos of after a beheading where they're holding their head up and their head's got that dumb look.
Oh, yeah.
You never look good after your head's been cut off.
You're never sitting there smiling.
It's always like...
It's never the school photo of just...
Right, right.
Oh, that's that guy's head.
No, you get a dumb look on your fucking face.
That's it.
It should fix it a bit.
And then the rigor mortis seals it like that.
Oh, I've seen some of those pictures, but it's the video and the sound and everything.
I will not do that.
That would be a little too much for me.
And animals.
I don't like watching...
I like watching, like, nature take its course.
Yeah, that's not bad.
Someone's getting a full belly.
Yeah, it's what it is, you know.
But I don't like people hurting animals or those goddamn Chinese with the dogs and they throw them in boiling water and shit.
I can't watch that.
But, you know, the accidents, a lot of foreign stuff.
For some reason...
Humans don't give a fuck about things that are far away or with different people.
Yeah, I'm the same way.
I'm the same way.
If there was a horrific crash on the road near my house and there was video of it, I wouldn't want to watch that.
But if it's some Indian guy, I'd be like, yeah, let me watch that.
Oh, fuck, that had to hurt.
Well, they don't care.
They don't care about their own lives.
That's why.
Like, if there's a kid who crosses the road, like the Boston bombing kid, Martin Richard, he was the eight-year-old who killed in the Boston bombing.
We're mortified by that.
If that was in Beijing, it would just be like, oh, he died.
They had a big bomb go off.
He's not around no more.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, they don't give a fuck.
In China, if you hurt someone, you have to pay their medical bills, but you don't if they die.
So when they hit someone, they reverse over the body back and forth and roll it like dough.
What a terrible policy.
That's an awful policy to incentivize people to kill.
Well, it takes the Chinese government like a generation to realize a policy isn't working out like the one child policy.
So they're rolling back and forth on some kid like a donut.
Pretzel.
I don't have time to be concerned about that.
I don't understand your culture.
I can only focus on the West, where if someone did that in fucking London, England, or Germany, that'd be known as the pretzel guy, and he'd be beaten to death in prison.
Right, right.
I like watching videos from India because it seems like they don't quite have a grasp on electricity and trains.
Sometimes trains and electricity at the same time because they got those cables and the fucking thing and they got people piled on top of the train.
That's going.
And there's high voltage cables right over them.
So sometimes you get both.
But for the most part, they're outside on a patio of their shithole house.
There's 80,000 wires going everywhere.
And someone's trying to find something or fix something.
And then you get that...
And then they just fall straight down.
Or they get stuck on it.
Oh, that's the worst.
And their head sets on fire.
Like the Green Mile.
It's just fucking without the sponge being moist.
They just start burning.
And then trains.
Like they get too close to the train and it smacks right into them and their head comes apart.
And trains and electricity, they really got to...
Figure that shit out.
They don't seem concerned about it.
It doesn't seem to be a problem.
That's so many people.
They just swept it up.
You know, Mercedes Carrera, falsely accused, still in jail.
Her whole thing is like, the worst thing we ever did was colonizing India.
I mean, as far as India goes.
The worst thing we did was helping them and a lot of other countries because we paved the way for roads and we gave them medicine and all this stuff.
And it's like giving an eight year old a Ferrari.
So now they have all this roads and technology and they should have, you know, it's like sex.
Like when you're 13, you meet a girl, you kiss her on the lips.
You might touch a boob.
You don't start with double dongs and fucking orgies, but we gave them all double dongs, and we're like, start fucking really giving it to each other.
And then we took away the double dongs, and now they're just like these depraved perverts with technology, like South Africa.
Look at South Africa today.
What should it be?
It should be like Detroit post cars.
Sorry.
It should be what Detroit should be, which is just like...
Nine little houses and, like, a little soda pop factory.
That's what Detroit should be today.
That's what India should be.
They should be making little Djiboutis and selling them with no cars.
Like, they're not ready for modern Western infrastructure.
Yes, you have to earn it.
You have to earn the technology and you have to...
You can't just jump ahead because then you don't know what the fuck.
So, yeah, electricity and trains kind of...
Well, the other problem with jumping ahead, too, is you have eight kids because you can.
And then there's all this technology to save them.
So then they make more.
And then they have too many people.
And they're all starving to death with their distended bellies.
So then the NGOs come in and they go, here's a bunch more rice to make more kids.
And we just keep making it worse and worse and worse.
It's like the Tower of Babel.
Yeah.
live maybe two right yeah and and you're like you're keeping the population where it's supposed to be when they get the medicine and technology that they need to keep them all alive now it's like you can't have eight kids now all he is you're fucking everything up yeah like we'll look at Africa The nations that aren't, you know, like South Africa, kinda, they kinda blew it by getting rid of apartheid.
But Africans, they have a shitload of kids, and a lot of them die.
So any help we've given them has just made the situation worse with overpopulation and famine and disease and...
It's like when a crazy person came into my dad's pub and I was visiting him and he was like, man, we got all kinds of people.
How do you know who's an alien, who isn't?
I might be an alien.
And I was like, well, first of all, if you're an alien, what's your motive to come in here?
Wouldn't you be in the Pentagon or something?
And then he wouldn't shut up and I look at my dad and I'm like, what the fuck have I done?
And he just goes, don't engage, my boy.
Don't engage.
And we shouldn't have engaged...
The third world.
We shouldn't have engaged the world.
No.
No, it was a big fucking mistake.
Even here in New York, we have this modern technology Where you get shot in the leg, we can fix it.
So killings in New York is down, I don't know, 500%.
I mean, it was 2,500 in the early 90s.
Now it's down to one a day, 300 a year, whatever.
But I think the same number of people are getting shot.
We're just better at fixing it.
Right, the shootings themselves are up.
I saw something over the weekend in Chicago, I think, which is a really low weekend.
They had 14 shootings with four deaths.
Yeah, that should have been 50-50.
It should have been like seven deaths in 14 shootings, but they only had four deaths.
And again, that's just the miracle of modern medicine and trauma centers in some of these horrible cities.
Dude, during the Civil War, your friend would get shot.
You would cry.
Then you'd get a tear duct infection from crying.
And then you would die next to his body with pus coming out of your eyes.
Because you were near someone who grazed their knee or had diarrhea.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, more people died of disease than died of actual wounds from weapons in the Civil War, which is amazing.
Every battle back then, even you look at old castle days in Europe, it's all fucking diarrhea.
They would stop the water supply to the castle and everyone would shit themselves to death.
So it's possible that war and crime and death is up, but we just keep fixing them.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's what we're doing.
Like, they talk about how automobile deaths have been dropping year after year for decades.
And I can't imagine there are a lot more cars on the road than there used to be.
You would think it would go up.
I definitely don't think drivers have gotten better at driving.
But you look at the technology that goes into cars now for accident avoidance and airbags were a big thing and crumple zones and all kinds of things that just make accidents less fatal.
And that's absolutely the reason.
It has nothing to do with people getting better at driving.
Even the hospitals, again, the technology and that kind of trauma care, people that would have been dead in a car accident, they pull them through.
So, yeah, that's...
I think you're right there.
Some of these guys that come back from Afghanistan, and you can see the indent where their skull is gone, and they're in a chair, and their daughter's like, he's still my dad!
And he's like...
Oh, it's terrible.
Yeah.
I don't want to sound like I'm mocking him, but, you know.
No, it's what it is.
You would have been dead as a fucking doornail in Vietnam.
But we got you back, we fixed you up.
Yeah.
And I don't know if you're fixed up, buddy.
It's the Lieutenant Dan thing.
It's like, no, leave me.
I'm supposed to die here.
This is how I'm supposed...
This is my legacy, you know?
My father and grandfather and great-grandfather all died in wars.
And then they fix him up and he's got no legs and he's all pissed off, you know, till the end.
He'd still be...
Then he gets some fat Asian wife and titanium legs, Forrest.
I got my titanium legs.
As long as my dick works, I still want to keep rocking.
Yeah?
You think?
I'll tell you what, even the dick, if I could eat pussy, I think I could take, I think you could go below the belly button and I'm still in.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a bold statement.
Fingering.
Yeah.
Blowjobs are great.
Wouldn't it be frustrating, though?
I'm a married man.
I think it'd be frustrating.
It's not exactly raining blowjobs here.
So, you know, I lose 10 minutes a year.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it would be a little frustrating.
Like you'd be kind of worked up mentally and there'd be no physical release.
I'm such a romantic that eating a pussy, I think, would do me.
That's all I need.
I'm a feminist.
I'm a feminist.
Disgusting pleasure of an orgasm.
Well, I did hear that these paralyzed guys, a lot of war vets too, obviously, but these paralyzed guys are saying to the medical community, hey, I appreciate the work you're doing on the spine, and that is great.
I would love to walk again, but pretty much everywhere has wheelchair access.
I can dig the New York City subways on a wheelchair, so I wouldn't mind a little more time on the dick.
Maybe just adjust some of your day to more penile things, because I wouldn't mind fucking at some point or having a bitch ride me.
Please.
I'll sacrifice the walking.
Yeah, walking schmocking.
Who gives a shit?
Yeah, for the dick.
I don't need either.
You know what I would kill myself if I couldn't hug...
I just love hugging.
And that, to me...
That's my cocaine.
You know how people need...
The hugs are how I live.
And not just my family, but people...
Strangers.
I'll be on the street.
Oh, I'm sure they'll love that.
Get over here.
I wear a shirt.
Free hugs.
Yeah.
And I just...
I love hugging.
We don't hug.
That's one thing I don't like about our friendship, is that we almost never hug.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Good thing.
I'll go on the record as saying, not hugging is good.
I don't know.
My wife's going through menopause, and if I put my arm around her in bed at night when we're sleeping, I basically put my arm around Anthony Cumia.
She's just like...
What are we doing?
What is this?
Yeah.
Oh, there's no...
Yeah, you don't really spoon after 21 years of marriage.
It's not a big spoon festival.
Isn't that...
You see some of these couples, they're together 60 years.
It's gay.
They're like, what is happening there?
What is that about?
The guys who bring their wives around, I guess I'm happy you're in love, dude.
But I want to tell the kind of jokes I've just been telling for the past four minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
And we're at the bar.
It's guy stuff.
And it's not like they're super raunchy, like, yeah, I bet that slut liked it, dude.
They're chicks.
So they don't appreciate the raunch, and they want to talk about pesticides in food and hockey and stuff in their kids' lives.
And I'm like, why are you here?
I think after a very short period of time being married, maybe a couple of years, It's just a habit.
It just becomes a habit, like smoking.
It's very rare, though.
I would say out of like a hundred guys I know, there's only like two or three that are just two peas in a pod with their wife or their girlfriend, and I hate it.
I hate it.
What is that, CGI? I asked Grok to produce an image of you and Anthony hugging.
Whoa, Anthony loves his fried chicken, doesn't he?
He looks a lot like you.
Gavin looks kind of like retarded Gavin.
Why is Anthony so fat in all of these?
Why do I look like you?
You look like fat me, and I look like handsome me.
I don't think he could handle that.
Yeah.
You know, you just reminded me of that thing you mentioned on Atlantic City about the Honeymooners, where they said, we're going out camping, boys, and no wives.
Right, yeah.
Can you look that up, Brian?
Honeymooners episode where they brought their wives, and it was Norton and Ralph.
They got browbeaten to bring in their wives.
That's the funniest concept I've ever heard.
They had talked about, at the lodge, they were talking, and Ralph gave this rousing speech to the guys at the lodge, of how, you know, this is men, and we gotta go home, and you tell these women that this year they're not coming, only the men.
And then he's home, and you know, it's so funny, because Norton's just like, so did you tell her she ain't going?
I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it.
And he goes, you're not going.
She goes, I am going.
Oh, yeah, here you go.
This is the same episode.
Oh, really?
Yeah, this is the Lost Episodes version of something, which weren't as good, the Lost Episodes.
No?
Why are they wearing overalls?
The original...
Yeah, that was kind of weird.
No, it's Ralph telling Alice she's not going fishing.
I think that's like...
Oh yeah, your wife's dying to come fishing with you.
Yeah.
They love that.
Well, it's a whole thing.
They go in a tent and it's like camping.
It's not just like guys fishing.
Back then, I guess it was, you know, like camping and they would enjoy...
Doing things, camping.
It was a different time, Gavin.
Different time.
I don't know how it worked back then.
I liked it, though, even though I didn't live it.
Just reading about it, watching films about it.
Yeah, those times seem awesome.
Were you a latchkey?
You were a latchkey child, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm much more Gen X than I am boomer.
So we would come home, and the thing about 4 p.m.
on a TV network is it's not a very appealing time.
Oh, it was terrible.
You're not going to have The Price is Right, or you're not going to have the Academy Awards.
So it was just old garbage shows.
So we both grew up watching The Honeymooners and Andy and Mayberry and all these garbage free shows.
They were probably free.
Yeah, they just would plan...
Oh.
- Why I didn't tell her?
Why should I tell you why I didn't tell her? - I'll tell you why you didn't tell her.
You're scared of Alice.
- Ha, ha, ha!
Hardie, har, har!
It'll be the day when I'm scared to tell Alice anything.
I'll eat your hat.
- Well then, why didn't you tell her? - I didn't tell her because, well, I don't even know.
She wants to go on a fishing trip.
Why should I start a fight over nothing?
She's giving me no indication that she thinks she wants to go on a fishing trip.
How do you like it?
I got a hunch she's thinking of going fishing.
It was a great bargain, Ralph.
I got it all on sale.
Nice boots.
Nice and light.
Good for summer wear in the sewer.
Summer wear in the sewer?
Ralph, you haven't said anything yet.
Good.
Say something, Ralph.
Did they spend any money and do a new set?
Because the 50s, the TV was just plays.
So everything was like a play.
They only had one set.
No, they didn't.
The weird thing is, I think the Lost Episodes were done on video, and these were done on film, and then they kinescoped them so they could distribute them across the country.
So it just looked...
It didn't look as good, the Lost Episodes.
And they just weren't as funny.
I don't know what it is.
There are some funny moments in the Lost Episodes, but these original, I think, 36 episodes...
They called them the Lost Episodes because for so many years, it was only these original ones that were out there for syndication.
And they found the Lost Episodes in a vault somewhere.
Oh, so these aired once and they never...
Yeah.
And then in the 80s, I think, is when they found the Lost Episodes and put them out.
And people were like, oh, this is so cool.
We could watch New Honeymooners.
And they were kind of like, eh.
Not quite as good.
I guess we're done with this.
Funny stuff.
Yeah, it's just fucking classic.
You can watch those a thousand fuck times.
I don't know of any shows that are out right now that you could watch a thousand times.
Dude, that was the 50s.
The 50s.
And people still will go, oh, the Honeymooners.
How the hell do you put a program out like that that has that kind of longevity and passion and generations like it?
I think it was successful because it represents all of us.
I think there's Batman and Robin, right, to everyone.
But I'm a Batman to some guys, but then other guys are a Batman to me.
So we all have that Norton-Ralph thing.
And then we also have this bluff...
Where we pretend to be tougher and cooler than we are, and we're not.
So when we see Ralph bluffing and pretending that he's got it under control, it reminds us of us, where we're like bluffing and lying and trying to be cooler than we are.
And then he's awkward as hell and can't figure a way out of his problem.
He has no idea.
And when he's on TV and he's like...
Ed Norton.
He also has that thing.
I don't know.
It's the eyebrows that John Belushi took advantage of in Animal House.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where they don't even need to talk.
There's just something about their faces.
Obviously, him being Ralph Cramden added to why that show became what it is even today.
Definitely.
You can't just take any fat fuck and put him in there.
Some of his face is...
Oh my god.
Just kill me.
Yeah, it's quite amazing.
It's definitely a loss to art because there's nothing I want to watch from network television that's on right now.
I don't even know.
I don't care.
Well, Jerry Lewis talks about how Jim Carrey is the new representative of that.
I'm just like, Jim Carrey, really?
I don't know.
He's kind of talented, but overrated.
Yeah.
I saw a show on Netflix last night called The Madness I don't know You don't seem like the kind of guy who loves unbelievably bad shit I love a good hate watch.
Okay, well then this is a hate watch for you, dude.
So he's a genius black CNN guy who's the greatest guy in the world.
I have to hand it to the show.
They did show that he wasn't around for his kids and he's a useless father, so that was kind of cool.
Okay.
But he's innocently going to an Airbnb cabin up in Pennsylvania or something, and he accidentally witnesses Antifa murder the head, like Richard Spencer or something.
They chop him up into bits.
Right.
Antifa's super badass in this show, but they're also big fat losers.
So it's some fat ugly chick going, okay, you can talk to him, but if you pull any shit, this gun's real and you're dead.
And it's the same frumpy Antifa girls at the rally.
That is screaming when the pepper spray hits their face.
So it makes me think, the left respects Antifa and thinks they're badasses.
It's terrible.
But it's the same old plot line.
Actually, we're watching Wicked to bank shows for the Christmas break.
And it's the same old plot of...
Yeah, I know you've heard bad things about black people.
But like George Floyd and Jordan Neely or whatever, they went crazy from all the abuse.
They're actually geniuses who hated it.
It's a CNN guy who happened to live next to or rented a cabin next to a guy who was killed by Antifa.
Then he got framed, and now the media makes him look like this psycho asshole who beats the shit out of people.
But A, when it's true, they were driven nuts by racism.
That's a common one.
And then B, most of it's not even true.
It's just framed.
Yeah.
And you're like, is that the pattern?
Really?
Boy, that would be a good one to hate watch.
I might have to do that.
The one thing that almost broke me, where he talks to the white supremacist ex-wife, and he goes, he's giving her shit, which is weird, because she didn't even know her husband was the head of the Nazi movement or whatever.
And he goes, yeah, you think I give a shit about some Derek Chauvin fanboy who wants to...
I was like, wait, wait, what?
Whoa, stop.
What'd you just say?
Yeah.
So white supremacists are Derek Chauvin fanboys.
Fanboys.
Because it's just a given that Derek Chauvin was out there kneeling on necks because he just hated Negroes.
Right, right.
Okay.
Did you notice if they try to put any of you into the guy, the white supremacist guy?
Because I would think they'd be like, who can we model this after?
Alex Jones or Gavin McInnes or something?
Well, maybe.
Not very explicitly.
It's been pretty explicit in the past.
But there's his following, this guy who he's called like Rage 14 or something.
And his following is 5 million people.
And he doesn't even represent, like, the Proud Boys' representation in the media at their worst.
So he's super-duper Nazi, like, blacks go back to Africa, Holocaust didn't happen, Ku Klux Klan, bad, bad man.
A lot of subscribers.
He has 5 million people following him in America?
Really?
Really?
I think you mean 500 people.
Yeah, yeah.
It's never five million.
And 200 are curious Jews.
And feds.
That's a good name for today's episode.
Curious Jews.
There's a couple of things I wanted to ask you about.
If you're...
Did you see the UFO thing?
Or whatever it is, drone thing.
I don't know.
It's not even that I don't know what these things are, and that's the weird part.
The weird part is, why the fuck doesn't the government know what they are?
Or, I think they do, but they're not telling us.
But then that's only one theory.
There's so many things.
It goes from...
This is the United States military doing their little things that they've done over the course of the years.
All the way down to, you know, there's Iran, China, it's some guy doing a publicity stunt, and then aliens.
At the very bottom, it's, you know, aliens, because let's be real.
People have brought up a great point.
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