S6E57 - SPECIAL NEEDS
Kill The Bee Gees, The Rolling Stones were all right, New York Young Republicans got ripped off, Alex Stein is Charlie Kirt, white men in commercials, and here's "10 Things Matt Walsh Stole From Me."
Kill The Bee Gees, The Rolling Stones were all right, New York Young Republicans got ripped off, Alex Stein is Charlie Kirt, white men in commercials, and here's "10 Things Matt Walsh Stole From Me."
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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
Right now, still on me! | |
I'm coming! | |
That was the accident from late 70s Seattle and their smash hit, Kill the Bee Gees Right Now. | |
Please do. | |
When I was a little kid in the 70s, we fucking hated disco. | |
Death before disco. | |
We also didn't know what it was. | |
I remember my babysitter, Sue Hone, played me Heart of Glass by Blondie. | |
And she goes, what do you think? | |
I go, that's a great song. | |
She goes, that's disco, moron. | |
Oh, shit. | |
I know I hate it. | |
I don't know what it is. | |
But, uh, yeah, that was a really great drumming in that band and the chicks. | |
I can't see if she was hot or not. | |
Smash! | |
That's our old fucking background. | |
Go to 1-3. | |
They didn't take a lot of pictures back then. | |
You don't know how lucky you young people are to have photos. | |
I look at my pictures from the 70s and 80s. | |
You cannot make out any details. | |
Blow that up, Jamie. | |
They look like a lot of fun. | |
No threat, does it say? | |
That's Devo. | |
I can't read what she's saying. | |
No threak? | |
I'm dressed, I know it's Serious Tuesdays, and I should be dressed more seriously, but we'll be making fun of Matt Walsh today. | |
So I want to look like him, because he steals all my shit, including my plaid shirts. | |
Speaking of totally rockin' jams, I heard this Rolling Stones song about Rice Krispies, and it reminds me, their early stuff was so cool. | |
Like, Come On, a song about this guy who hates his car. | |
But this is a fucking jam, too. | |
It's that top pop of the morning, Rice Krispies! | |
Wake up in the morning, there's a snap around the face. | |
Wake up in the morning, there's a crackle in your face. | |
Wake up in the morning, there's a pop that really says Rice Krispies to you. | |
And you, and you. | |
For all the milk and listen to the snap that says it's nice. | |
For all the milk and listen to the crackle of that rice. | |
Get up in the morning to the pop that says it's rice. | |
Hear them talking, Chris. | |
Rice Krispies! | |
See if you can find come on they One of their oldest releases, if you're ever looking at their discography, they have this collection of singles. | |
They would just do covers back in the day. | |
And now everyone goes, oh, they're ripping off black music. | |
No black music was that good. | |
Sure, it was inspired by the blues and all that stuff, but... | |
They made it better, just like American Chinese food. | |
You know why the Beatles and the Rolling Stones started making their own songs? | |
Because they'd open for a band, and they do all covers, Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry, whatever, and then that next band would do it. | |
And people are like, you already played that. | |
So they go, we should come up with our own songs. | |
So for Thursday, we have a banked show where we expose the NYPD corruption and how it's just like South Africa. | |
Go to 1-5. | |
This is where we're headed when you let nepotism, is the actual word, dictate who goes where. | |
This is what Marxism can do to a country. | |
It's also racism. | |
I get that. | |
It's anti-white culture. | |
By the way, is this the Jews? | |
Are you blaming the Jews on South Africa? | |
Where the offices used to be. | |
There's the entrance. | |
This is by West Street near the court. | |
Check at this. | |
It's just stripped. | |
Check at this. | |
Yes, fuck. | |
Oh, my bro. | |
Look at this. | |
Check how filthy it is here. | |
Check here. | |
There's parts of East New York that look like that. | |
Now tell me something, guys. | |
I want to ask a question. | |
Where is the people that used to work here? | |
Are these people still getting salaries? | |
And for what are they getting salaries? | |
Because they're not at work. | |
They don't even have a workplace to work at. | |
It's scary. | |
They don't have a workplace to work at. | |
You know what? | |
One thing I regret not mentioning is my theory that Eric Adams is a queer. | |
I've heard cops tell me that, that he visits his girlfriend in New Jersey, but he's fucking the dude next door. | |
The girl next door is just a cover. | |
So when he goes there with his team, and it's also possible that these three Cosby kids, Fat Albert, who is Jeffrey Shepard, no, Jeffrey Madry, Kaz Daugherty, and Tariq Shepard, those three dudes control the NYPD, and they're all retarded. | |
Which I'm not allowed to say. | |
I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose this. | |
Remember that guy? | |
He said, I can't call him a retard because I'm not a doctor. | |
What? | |
It's a hyperbolic insult, my friend. | |
And your response is retarded. | |
But I think those three guys might have... | |
They say they must have something on Eric Adams because he won't touch them. | |
Yeah, I think it must be gay shit. | |
Hmm. | |
Probably got a video of him, maybe with an underage boy. | |
Something as simple as a blowjape. | |
I don't like the YMCA song, by the way. | |
Young man. | |
It's about fucking, if not... | |
17-year-old boys, maybe younger. | |
Come to the YMCA. We're fags. | |
And here's the different types of fags we are. | |
Policeman, leather guy, Indian, whatever. | |
Chef. | |
I forget what they all are. | |
And we'd like you to come to the YMCA because it's cheap. | |
You can work out and then we can go fuck in one of the rooms. | |
Okay. | |
I know you guys get up to some gross shit. | |
I don't really want it to be our national anthem. | |
What's this? | |
I would get some rockin'. | |
YMCA. YMCA is a track. | |
It's an underrated track. | |
Do you know, is it an underrated? | |
I think so. | |
Is it an underrated? | |
Well, it gets a lot of views, I can say. | |
Go to 39A. They talk about the gay thing here. | |
Oh, they do? | |
He hears it for the first time, I think. | |
The Gay National Anthem. | |
Oh, no. | |
Do you ever hear that? | |
They call it the Gay National Anthem. | |
But YMCA gets people up, and it gets them moving. | |
But we have a lot of good selections, and people love it when I do it. | |
What's... | |
You know what he did? | |
He played some song by like the J6 choir at Mar-a-Lago and everyone just stopped and was crying and stuff. | |
39A is another example of that song dominating our winning and me not liking it. | |
I don't understand how that shit works. | |
Yes. | |
So yeah, and then Friday, we're going to try a radio station. | |
I'm going to bore you with my musical evolution from Billy Idol to now. | |
And you can take it or leave it. | |
At least you're getting content on Thanksgiving week. | |
So let's breeze through some very important news. | |
New York Young Republicans got ripped off by some fancy haute couture house. | |
A luxury French clothing brand just steals the logo. | |
Isn't that crazy? | |
And that sweatshirt is $4,000. | |
I wonder if New York Young Republicans, which is, it's a great logo, it's on my computer. | |
I wonder if they have sweatshirts. | |
Are they worth that now? | |
Wait a minute, it says $4,000 and then it says $1,399. | |
Okay, so it's $1,400. | |
That's funny. | |
We're all stupid, by the way. | |
16A. There's going to be a bit of overlap with yesterday because I had so much to cover. | |
I stopped the show. | |
But that doesn't mean I got through all my sprinkles and all my gays. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
So, Ryan, you've got to put these together. | |
That's your next assignment. | |
Please write that down on your to-do list. | |
I want to assemble all of these examples of us no longer being racist, but now being stupid. | |
I wonder if I could even dig and see if they have called us racist in the past. | |
Not too hard. | |
You search their handle from... | |
And then just racist. | |
Yeah. | |
Bigot. | |
KKK. KK fucking K. I think I'm going to... | |
I want to do a new character where I'm in the Klan and I'm in the DNC and I have a DNC logo on my Klan hood and I just talk about all the great things we're doing to prevent the Negro from thriving. | |
Like welfare, shattering the black family, all the hard work we're doing with abortion rights so more blacks can abort their babies. | |
I mean, the DNC and the KKK, they align quite a bit. | |
So yeah, we are idiots and she's a genius. | |
Wouldn't you love to know what her degree is too? | |
I'm guessing it's not physics. | |
I'm guessing it's speech pathology. | |
With insane conservatives today is that they are genuinely stupid and you cannot have an actual intelligent conversation with stupid people. | |
Stop. | |
Stop. | |
You won't talk to us. | |
I spent $100,000 paying liberals to come on our show and debate. | |
Some charge five, some charge 15. It wasn't my money. | |
It was a guy who wanted to see left versus right. | |
And I go, it's not possible. | |
And he goes, well, what if I paid? | |
I go, I'm not paying a cent. | |
But if you want to pay, go nuts. | |
But they're going to demand a lot of money. | |
And you know the other thing about that, too? | |
If you go back and watch some of these debates with Cornel West and Candace, they're such sellouts that when they got the check, they didn't argue. | |
Right. | |
They're like a paid fucking performer. | |
They were happy to be there. | |
It was very cordial. | |
There was barely any debate. | |
Yeah, they didn't want a debate because they want the money. | |
In other words, they don't have the courage of their convictions. | |
I've noticed this with parents in my neighborhood where I go, so you didn't want my son going to this thing because of my politics? | |
What? | |
No, that's crazy. | |
Meanwhile, I'll be 100% positive before I confront someone. | |
But 100% of the time they go, what? | |
That's crazy. | |
They don't have the courage of their convictions. | |
Dig up anything I've ever said. | |
I'm like, yeah, I said that. | |
You are fat. | |
That's a handy tip, by the way. | |
If you get caught talking shit about someone, which is, by the way, is very gay, I always make sure I talk shit to people's face. | |
Like Joe Rogan said, women are nice to each other face to face and then they talk shit about each other behind their back. | |
Men talk shit about you to your face and then say really great things about you behind your back. | |
But when you get caught doing something like that, oh, so I hear I'm a fat pig? | |
Don't go, well, I mean, not really. | |
I didn't really say it. | |
It's out of context. | |
No, no. | |
I was saying, like, I'm fat. | |
Don't do that. | |
Because then it makes it more mean. | |
Just go, yeah, I did. | |
You are fat. | |
Do you have a mirror at your house? | |
It just diffuses it instantly. | |
That's my little tip of the day. | |
Anyway, let's get back to what an absolute criminally stupid loser I am. | |
The problem we are facing is that conservatives, people who are voting conservative in Canada, in the US, are genuinely too stupid to function. | |
I think abortion is like a perfect example of this because I just saw a Swiss medical ethicist and she was talking about Switzerland's approach to abortion and all I could think was you could not have this conversation with the average Canadian or American conservative voter. | |
She was basically stepping through the different definitions of something being alive versus something being human versus something being a person and how those come with different ethical implications when it comes to the act of killing. | |
You can't have those conversations. | |
If you try to do that with a conservative, they literally lose their minds and they resort to just insults and mudslinging and saying that like, oh, you're just trying to like get away with stuff because their brains are so small and so undeveloped, they cannot wrap their minds around the fact that there are in fact distinctions from both a philosophical side of things, from a theoretical side of things, but also from a medical and scientific side of things. | |
The reason that they don't believe science is because they don't understand science. | |
I was a philosophy minor and I saw people who really struggled with the concepts of something being valid. | |
I was a philosophy minor. | |
Not her major. | |
Her minor. | |
She's educated because she went to a liberal arts school and took philosophy. | |
Of how we present logical arguments, of how we actually define different terms, but how philosophers look at things in different ways. | |
Would you like me to send you some screaming montages of college girls going absolutely insane when pro-lifers are on their campus? | |
Screaming, throwing yogurt, retching, destroying their signs. | |
You think you're the rational ones? | |
You have a balloon on your head. | |
Think about it. | |
Those are people who sat and did those classes. | |
The majority of people who are voting conservative have a high school education and nothing higher. | |
And there's not anything wrong with that. | |
It's not an elitist thing. | |
But high school education in North America typically doesn't even touch on subjects such as philosophy. | |
And it's a real loss because it means people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. | |
Wow. | |
That one was a doozy. | |
Don't hold back, sweetheart. | |
They've always hated us. | |
He is stupid, too stupid to function, that guy. | |
Say what you want. | |
He's too stupid to function. | |
He's so stupid. | |
Let's do a little bit of sprinkles. | |
Ryan? | |
I've got some funny stuff to discuss. | |
Okay. | |
It's kind of a fun week. | |
We're not taking it very seriously. | |
Hence the radio station on Friday. | |
I'll just be talking about myself and my terrible taste in music. | |
You should probably just skip it. | |
Would sprinkles be... | |
Sprinkles should be in your new good bumpers. | |
Huh. | |
Okay. | |
Okay. | |
Alright. | |
It's not. | |
They're in my city bumpers, so that was untouched. | |
Okay. | |
In your what? | |
City bumpers. | |
I don't know what that is. | |
The guy who does the bumpers for us. | |
Well, they should all be moved to one folder. | |
Right. | |
I've heard some people say, why don't you just kill all the shows and just make everyday compound censored? | |
Hour and a half a day. | |
You'd probably get more ratings. | |
You'd probably get more viewers and you'd save a fortune. | |
Okay, so I don't do this anymore? | |
There's no more sprinkles? | |
I mean, supply and demand. | |
I'll give the people what they want, but I got a lot of shit I got to get out of my chest. | |
Right? | |
A vote, but I disagree with that. | |
All right. | |
Dude, speaking of how much they hate us and how fun it is to mock them, Alex Stein, fish kiss, fucking, he keeps hitting it out of the park. | |
Like, he's very weird for the blaze. | |
And I was worried that he wouldn't last there. | |
But instead of sort of getting more normal and ensuring his job is safer, he just keeps getting crazier and crazier. | |
Now, I have quadruple verified that this is real. | |
He calls himself Charlie Kurt now. | |
And people go, you're not Charlie Kurt. | |
I think he says I'm Charlie Kirk from like Bending Point or something. | |
And they don't get that he didn't say Kirk. | |
This kid is real. | |
Comedy is appearing in some of the funnest spots. | |
And Alex Stein knows it's almost like me and Copper Cab. | |
Like it's such a perfect combination. | |
And this just gets better and better. | |
So we'll see how long we can bear. | |
It's pretty long. | |
But it's fucking gold. | |
This is why Alex Stein is talented. | |
Get that! | |
Get that! | |
Period! | |
Oh shit! | |
Please, please say your name for the camera sir. | |
My name? | |
Whatever you want to say, your nickname, your handle, I don't care. | |
Oh. | |
Bird person. | |
Great stuff. | |
You want to debate the world's greatest... | |
Just remember, this is a college that we didn't go to because we're not smart. | |
And we just get too emotional. | |
We can't talk. | |
We can't have a discussion about abortion or anything. | |
We're too dumb. | |
Okay. | |
So let's just check in with how dumb we are. | |
Let's check in with these genius college students that, you know, are trained in philosophy and they can discuss complex subjects. | |
I don't think that man is here. | |
You're looking at him. | |
Look at the sign. | |
Can you read, bud? | |
I can read, asshole. | |
Okay. | |
Well, let's debate. | |
I'm not lying. | |
I'm Charlie Kurt. | |
All right, let's debate. | |
Grab the mic. | |
What do you want to debate? | |
What do you want to debate about? | |
You pick the topic. | |
I'll wipe the floor with you. | |
I've been wiping the floor with people like you all damn day. | |
Okay, Lightning McQueen. | |
You eat winners. | |
You eat losers for breakfast. | |
Whatever. | |
Okay, this isn't Talladega Nights. | |
This is the Charlie Kurtz experience. | |
Oh, I'm sorry. | |
I thought this was a real show. | |
This is a real show, and you're on it. | |
Yeah? | |
How does it feel? | |
How does it feel? | |
I know you're nervous. | |
I know you're sitting there shaking. | |
You want to say something to me? | |
Say it. | |
Say it with all your cojones. | |
Say it with your chest, young man. | |
Don't be afraid. | |
You don't have balls. | |
I have huge testicles. | |
Where's your proof? | |
They're right in my pants. | |
What is happening here? | |
You want to see my genitals. | |
So, sir, you just came here and asked me to see my genitals. | |
Show me the proof, dumbass. | |
We have you on camera, sir. | |
You just came here on approach. | |
I mean, it's kind of low-hanging fruit, which Charlie Kirk, that's one of the more accurate criticisms of Charlie Kirk, is that, yes, you did destroy them all, but they're retards. | |
Unlike what that woman just told us about how smart college students are, they're actually the dumbest people in the country. | |
I saw someone go, why are you sending your kids to college then? | |
Because they want to go. | |
But I have no delusions about the value that it instills in them, which is, think of it as like an art camp. | |
That's what college is. | |
It might be fun, and I'll let you go if you want, but you can't brag that you went to art camp and you're better than me now. | |
Take a genitalia. | |
Do you realize? | |
Well, I guess you don't have balls. | |
Because I don't want to expose myself and show you. | |
Yeah, that's what you are, you Nazi. | |
You don't want to expose yourself and tell the truth. | |
Wait, why am I a Nazi? | |
Because I don't want to show you my testicles? | |
Now you're the dumb one. | |
How am I the dumb one? | |
Because you're not getting anything I'm saying. | |
Correct. | |
Because you just asked to see my testicles, correct? | |
Because you're a piece of shit. | |
So that's why you want to see my balls? | |
Yeah. | |
Because I'm a piece of shit, you want to see my testicles? | |
I want you to show the truth. | |
Do you have balls? | |
Yes, I do. | |
They're right here. | |
I don't see them. | |
You can kind of see how they're... | |
Oh, really? | |
Are you getting a zoom in on that? | |
Look at this retard out here. | |
Is he trying to get his YouTube band? | |
Alex, is that stupid to pull out his balls? | |
You're trying to get my goat? | |
I just got you to show everyone your bulge. | |
I show everybody my bulge every day. | |
They're very large. | |
What do you mean? | |
Good for you, dumbass. | |
How am I dumb? | |
Because you are. | |
And you think you're smart by sitting here begging a man to show him your genitals? | |
I think you're a piece of shit. | |
Why is that? | |
That's big with him. | |
Piece of shit. | |
Can we become friends? | |
No. | |
Why not? | |
Because I don't make friends with transphobes, homophobes, Nazis, and the like of you. | |
I apologize for whoever hurt you. | |
I can tell that you're a good young man. | |
I can tell you have a good heart. | |
You sound like my grandparents. | |
You know what my grandparents do? | |
They sit at home and watch Fox News all day, sucking their thumbs like goddamn idiots. | |
I bet your grandparents love you very much. | |
No, they don't. | |
What do they give you for Christmas? | |
What does your grandmother give you for Christmas over here? | |
She gives you $200, and you love it. | |
She gave me a slap on the face. | |
No, she gives you $200 in that envelope, and you love it. | |
Yeah, you know what? | |
And you love that $200. | |
He's right. | |
He guessed right. | |
That's my favorite part. | |
So what? | |
She gives you that $200. | |
Well, they're stealing our goddamn future, you piece of shit. | |
How? | |
How is Donald Trump stealing it? | |
With the tariffs? | |
With the tax cuts for the wealthy? | |
But your grandmother's going to give you $200? | |
I don't want $200. | |
That goes on and on and on. | |
Alex fucking guessed his entire life, and he was correct. | |
He just got in on Fishtank, too, and he's checking the black man's teeth. | |
Burt, who is a content machine, by the way. | |
Burt's very funny. | |
And then watch how he started. | |
The black guy or the white guy? | |
Who's Burt? | |
The black guy is Burt. | |
He's a gay or bisexual... | |
He's a content machine? | |
Yes. | |
He's hilarious and schizophrenic. | |
So he's checking his teeth and he startles him. | |
Today he gave us a crying scene. | |
He was crying and he dumped peanut butter on his head. | |
He's afraid of him. | |
Jump to 40 for a second here while we're talking about tariffs because that was the only thing of any kind of sort of substance that little Chinaman had. | |
Probably Mexican raised by his grandparents, clearly abandoned by his parents and bullied in high school, which Alex gets to. | |
Let's check in on the tariffs police. | |
A conspiracy theorist uncle says Trump's tariffs are good for the economy. | |
Respond with... | |
Tariffs cause inflation. | |
No, that's not true. | |
Here's why. | |
Trump imposed tariffs in 2018 and the inflation rate went down for the next two years. | |
Next. | |
They can also start trade wars, which decrease our domestic exports, which can harm US businesses. | |
No. | |
The U.S. exports were at the time that Trump imposed the tariffs, and look what happened for the next few years afterward. | |
Of course, you have a significant dip because of COVID affecting supply chains around the world, but we see the tariffs had a net positive effect on U.S. exports. | |
Your boy Biden agrees because he kept most of Trump's administration tariffs in place, and in May of 2024 added $18 billion worth of more tariffs. | |
Next. | |
You're going to be paying more at the grocery store. | |
For the grocery store prices, I'll give you that. | |
They slightly increased from 2018 to 2019. 2020, we know COVID increased the price of everything. | |
But look what happened under the Biden administration. | |
Grocery store prices increased tenfold. | |
And guess what? | |
I'll take the tariffs, which in the long term are going to make grocery store prices cheaper, since we're going to bring manufacturing back to this country, versus having another Biden or Democrat administration. | |
Yeah, stop. | |
That's a great point. | |
They say the cost of groceries might go up if we use tariffs. | |
So you care about grocery prices. | |
Okay, why didn't you care about them four months ago when we were all shitting our pants at what Biden's done to our supply chain? | |
Go ahead. | |
I hope you can enjoy your soy latte. | |
Maybe do your research next time. | |
I just had to throw that in. | |
Also in Alex Stein news, here he is with Antifa being awesome. | |
And again, Our adversaries are not worthy of our hatred. | |
These guys are all on the spectrum. | |
The guy we just saw, that little, whatever he was, Mexican-Asian, he's clearly like a suffering, weak, frantic person with no adrenaline control who just isn't really made for the real world. | |
And these dummies are some of, just like that snob at the beginning, these are some of the stupidest, not even like losers, they're autistic. | |
So there are special needs. | |
We're up against special needs people. | |
Are you all transgender? | |
Are you guys biological females? | |
it's hard to tell. | |
So they show up with a banner to stop people from hearing Alex's talk. | |
Boom! | |
And fascism on campus. | |
Check out their leader. | |
It's the one in the mask, in the hood, in the left. | |
He's the boss. | |
He claps like this. | |
Alex Stein's problem is he got me on campus. | |
That's why you hate him. | |
That's why he's a fascist. | |
The organization on our campus runs a doc's list of university professors. | |
Shame! | |
Shame! | |
Look at this. | |
Oh, hi. | |
It's the man of the armor. | |
Go fuck yourself. | |
See that? | |
Oh, I'm sorry. | |
Go fuck yourself. | |
Like, he's... | |
And so is she. | |
These are all, like, sub-nerds. | |
They can't look at them. | |
Yeah. | |
What's up with that? | |
Yeah, what's with the mask? | |
And she's smiling because she's like, it's him, the guy we've been talking about. | |
It's a fight face. | |
She has a fight face on. | |
So we just really didn't want to get doxxed. | |
We usually don't wear masks to protest, but it's because of y'all. | |
We usually don't wear masks to protest because we don't exactly, we're not the most gigantic fans of being doxxed. | |
We sort of like don't like to endanger ourselves and risk being murdered by fascists like you Are they scared? | |
You guys are welcome to come to the event. | |
I mean, I don't know why you guys hate me. | |
Why do you not like me? | |
You're a fucking douchebag. | |
Nobody likes you. | |
And what are you, dude? | |
What do you mean? | |
What am I? You don't think you're a douche coming here with a mask on, yelling and screaming like a little girl? | |
Look at his safety face. | |
Get these passes off of our campus! | |
Get these passes off of our campus! | |
It is right to rebel! | |
Get these passes off of our campus! | |
She can't look either. | |
You guys can't even shut it down, but at least y'all believe in heaven and hell, so you guys believe in God? | |
No! | |
They want him to go to hell, but they don't believe in hell. | |
even think it exists. | |
They're not music majors. | |
I know, so think about that. | |
You guys want me to go to hell, but you don't even think it exists? | |
Excuse me. | |
You just admitted it. | |
Of course, of course. | |
Um, hello everybody. | |
You all are welcome to see here. | |
She's so helpful. | |
What safety? | |
These guys dox us. | |
Nobody dox you guys. | |
They dox immigrants. | |
What? | |
They dox immigrants? | |
I wish. | |
Look at the little red beret. | |
Was that a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt? | |
Wait, is that gray hair? | |
You're like a 55-year-old member of Antifa hanging out with little kids. | |
What is that thing? | |
Yeah, it's a professor. | |
With tits. | |
Pervert. | |
That's a pervert who wants to fuck 20-year-olds. | |
He's there to prey on those weirdos. | |
What is communism? | |
I know it's not good. | |
Look at this guy with his little earrings and his... | |
Anyway, you get the idea. | |
Speaking of fantastic comedy in the wild, I meant to show this yesterday when we were laughing at trannies, but the delivery here, this entire bit, is... | |
Very good comedy. | |
This guy's not trying to be funny, but it is, as the meme says, it's the same picture. | |
This is as good as the best comedian you've ever seen. | |
And he's trying to make you cry, not laugh. | |
A woman just told me she loves my costume. | |
I'm not wearing one. | |
She has bad taste. | |
It's okay, though. | |
She followed it up with, and this is like your everyday thing. | |
Look at her face at the end. | |
So this is like your everyday thing? | |
Can I meet that woman that said that to you? | |
She sounds fucking hilarious. | |
She sounds like Tina Forty, the woman who ran against AOC in the Bronx. | |
Hey, I like your costume. | |
It's not a costume. | |
Oh, this is like your everyday thing. | |
Look at his face. | |
I think we have to see that again. | |
His name's Flawless Skin? | |
Thank you. | |
It's aria.ready. | |
Oh. | |
And this is like your everyday thing. | |
Dude, your facial delivery is like above Louis C.K. Like you're Eddie Murphy. | |
You're in the Lenny Bruce. | |
Because it's so subtle. | |
It's like a watercolor. | |
Yes. | |
And it's almost like he knows that he looks like a big balloon at the Macy's Day Parade. | |
The Thanksgiving Day Parade. | |
So he's floating over New York looking down at us, cracking us up. | |
Okay, one more time. | |
It helps when every feature is dialed to 11. We're like, eyes, crank it up. | |
Nose, crank it the fuck up. | |
Mouth, all the way. | |
Balloon cheeks. | |
Fucking dudeness. | |
And you know he's like 6'2", too. | |
And this is like your everyday thing. | |
We tried not to laugh. | |
Okay. | |
It's okay, though. | |
So she followed it up with, and this is like your everyday thing. | |
The head tilt is underrated. | |
They are so clueless. | |
The notion that I would watch that, anyone would watch that, even lefty losers, and go, holy shit, that's fucked up. | |
Are you okay? | |
How could anyone not laugh at that? | |
I'm saving that. | |
That now has a home on the board. | |
You know what that would be good for? | |
So you don't have any of the text, whatever, the vocals, her talking, him talking, but just have that ending for when someone does something crazy. | |
Like, you know that black guy who goes... | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah, the non-verbal. | |
You can throw those anywhere. | |
Yeah. | |
I also thought this was fucking hilarious. | |
This is all comedy in the wild. | |
It's out there, free. | |
Just take it. | |
This guy is polyamorous. | |
He has a wife and some girlfriends. | |
He's talking to a black doctor who is really cool. | |
Oh my god, I have another clip from this guy that you gotta see. | |
But, um, yeah, play it. | |
I want those three beautiful beings out there. | |
That's his three bitches. | |
And I want Maggie. | |
That's his wife. | |
I can't apologize for that, but I also can't find a label for it. | |
And you feel like you need a label to explain what you want. | |
It's terrifying to ask for something when you can't put a name to it. | |
Polyamory. | |
But there you go. | |
I'm a greedy bastard. | |
I want them all. | |
Sister wives. | |
I love them all. | |
I just don't know what to tell them. | |
Wouldn't it be funny to put this audio on Motley Crue backstage? | |
Have Vince Neil going, I want them all. | |
Every groupie here. | |
Is that greedy? | |
Is it greedy to want what the heart wants? | |
So guess what the solution is when you want to fuck your wife and a bunch of other chicks? | |
Own it. | |
That's cool. | |
Harvey Weinstein. | |
Yeah. | |
Polyamorous. | |
Take them to your island. | |
I think you'd tell them that. | |
How do these people get off with kink-shaming rape? | |
Hi. | |
Hi, girlfriend and wife and other girlfriend and boyfriend. | |
Look at that. | |
He's got a wife and two girlfriends and a boyfriend. | |
As one does. | |
That's going to last, by the way. | |
When I was doing my research for my Christmas card, which is done, it's great. | |
Thank you very much, ladies, baby monsters, for coming down. | |
I watched a bunch of sister wives. | |
It's very depressing. | |
The poor fucking kids. | |
So you tell them that polyamory is normal, and they're like, okay, I got a lot of siblings, so that's cool. | |
I get it. | |
And then they go, we're all getting divorced. | |
Now, it's rough for a kid to deal with divorce when he has two parents. | |
But when all your moms aren't your moms anymore and you don't talk and what happened? | |
You sold me this insane version of events and then you went, nah, it's not a thing. | |
We're changing it. | |
Sorry. | |
So, sister-wise, he had, I think, four at one point. | |
All divorced. | |
It all moved on. | |
Remarried. | |
They hate his fucking guts. | |
He's a liar. | |
And he's married to, like, I think the last sister-wife became his only wife. | |
And I don't believe he talks to his kids. | |
So, that's... | |
Check out the one I sent you, though, Ryan. | |
Oh, text. | |
Yeah, Darman is now an intellectual. | |
I know idiocracy is a kind of hack to bitch about, but we really have surpassed it when this is the entertainment that's on television. | |
Turn this up if I can go full screen on this shit. | |
Go back to the beginning. | |
Instead of paraplegic, Allison's paralysis is hemispheric. | |
In her case, the right side of her body. | |
Could it be temporary? | |
Months, years. | |
It all depends on how long it takes her to heal. | |
Either way, it won't be easy. | |
Oh, my baby. | |
I think they'd like to speak with you. | |
For being racist. | |
What? | |
Why? | |
Mr. Mulvane, you panic bought a firearm and left it loaded and unlocked in the proximity of your daughter. | |
And when she got hurt, you tried to cover it up by filing a false police report based on race. | |
Wait, stop. | |
Wait. | |
How many fucking times have blacks filed false police reports? | |
I just read about one this morning. | |
It's in for the next cop show, which will be in a week and a half. | |
A black female cop says she was robbed to the tune of $5,000. | |
I don't think there's been a hate crime in the past 10 years that wasn't faked by black people. | |
The number of whites who, like, I think, you know what this is? | |
This show is for white women to feel better about the fact that black crime is a serious issue. | |
So what do they fantasize about? | |
They fantasize about a world where it's fake. | |
And it's actually guys who look like my ex-boyfriend who dumped me. | |
And he's blaming black people. | |
They're not really doing all these horrific crimes I see everywhere. | |
Okay. | |
What a weird fantasy to have, but okay. | |
I'm not done because then y'all had the audacity to claim that all lives matter while the police were combing the streets profiling black and brown faces faces like mine which apparently don't matter enough to you and here's what I don't get what I will never get is if it's intentional on your part or you're simply conditioned because you definitely aren't the first to falsely accuse a brother and I doubt you'll be the last I... This is the part where you thank me for saving your daughter's | |
life. | |
Thank you, black surgeon. | |
We... | |
We're not racists. | |
Yeah, right. | |
You know what the we're not racist thing is? | |
Because when people call us racist and we go, we're not racist, they go, that's what racists say. | |
So now you're just like, fucked. | |
Actually, maybe we should do some... | |
No, no, there's too much other funny stuff to talk about. | |
I'm just going to do a little bit of racism. | |
I got a racist tweet. | |
What's your racist tweet? | |
It's funny. | |
It is... | |
Okay. | |
Oh, wait, there's racist and there's anti-Semitic. | |
Okay. | |
Kind of slowing the show down here. | |
Sorry. | |
This is from my things yesterday. | |
You know what? | |
You're fired. | |
I'm gonna go do a green screen. | |
Start up the green screen. | |
Okay, and let's talk about Matt Walsh. | |
You read that right. | |
Ten things Matt Wall stole from me. | |
I don't know, man. | |
Am I crazy? | |
I just keep seeing these things come up again and again and again. | |
Maybe we're just incredibly like-minded individuals and we think the same thoughts. | |
That's a possibility. | |
Maybe he's secretly a baby monster. | |
Maybe he is low on ideas and he has to steal mine. | |
Or maybe I'm just a fucking megalomaniac who thinks the world revolves around me. | |
I don't know. | |
We'll find out together when we go through this list. | |
I should make it clear that I fucking love Matt Walsh. | |
Am I Racist is probably one of my... | |
I think it's my favorite documentary, and I haven't even seen it yet. | |
Every time I see a clip on him online, I'm very happy with it. | |
I love the stuff he does. | |
He single-handedly took down about 10 careers with that movie, Am I Racist? | |
So he's doing the Lord's work. | |
Great guy. | |
Great guy! | |
But let's just go through a couple things here. | |
Ten, to be precise. | |
Number one, Matt Walsh, he's right behind me there, loves Karens. | |
That's my bag. | |
And I don't think I've seen other people praise Karens. | |
Like, we have a t-shirt. | |
We've had forever that says, I love Karens. | |
I thought I was pretty outside the box when I first brought it up. | |
And then Matt Walsh comes along this month. | |
Actually, we don't appreciate Karens enough. | |
Some people think they can just do whatever the hell they want and break any rule they want. | |
Dog owners in particular... | |
See, I feel like I've brought up dog owners. | |
There's our t-shirt. | |
I definitely have brought up the whole, do you belong here? | |
Do you live here? | |
Do you go to this? | |
Why do you get to swim in our pool? | |
And I've said, you know, white men, they don't want to get their career ruined. | |
But I guess women have less to lose. | |
Dog owners in particular seem to think they are imbued with the mystical right to bring their dogs anywhere and everywhere all of the time. | |
Yeah, the airport's particularly annoying. | |
They aren't. | |
Even if you call your dog a service animal, that still doesn't entitle you to bring your dog to any and all locations on God's green earth. | |
Karens are the only ones with the guts to call these assholes out to their faces. | |
I think it's great. | |
Thank God for Karens. | |
A.K.A. middle-aged white woman who don't have time for your bullshit. | |
Yeah. | |
I mean, obviously they step on some toes. | |
You could argue that the people who have tormented my family and my neighborhood with the signs and canceling my son's playdates, they're kind of Karens. | |
So they can overreach. | |
But at least they're out there trying to instill some sort of values in society. | |
Turn it up. | |
I haven't seen this video before. | |
This belongs to the city of Fort Collins. | |
So the way the federal law works? | |
You're saying that the Americans with Disabilities Act doesn't apply to... | |
Federal law trumps state law. | |
When you have a protected wildlife area, dogs are not allowed. | |
That is a hard and fast rule. | |
Did you see the disturbance of the animals around you as you walked? | |
So service dogs are legally permitted anywhere in the country that visitors can know. | |
So even if dogs are excluded, this is a service animal. | |
So you can call the authorities. | |
No, shut up with your service animal. | |
Fuck you. | |
The fucking planes. | |
I go, you can't get a fucking dog sitter. | |
Why do you got to bring your fucking dog everywhere? | |
It makes you look so weak. | |
Anyway, so that's... | |
Come on. | |
That one is brutal. | |
That one's... | |
We're starting out with a bang. | |
I'm going to say... | |
I'm going to score that one one for me. | |
Number two. | |
If you recall, I went to Penn State... | |
And I roasted Kamala Harris. | |
That was a big thing. | |
Remember they would go, it's not a roast. | |
You're just getting out there to insult her. | |
And it was, I don't think I'm doing them ever again. | |
It's just the students are all screaming and yelling and you can't get a word in edgewise. | |
So it's just very unpleasant. | |
That was it. | |
So that was the Kamala Harris, Kamala, we spelt it wrong, right? | |
Roast. | |
And I remember the protesters going, it's not a roast. | |
You have to be there for a roast. | |
And Kamala's clearly not going to be there. | |
Okay, so the word roast was brought up quite a bit. | |
And then, about a week later, Matt Walsh is here to roast. | |
Kamala. | |
Whatever mystique there was that they built around her, it just evaporates immediately. | |
She doesn't have a lot of skill, but she definitely is extremely strong at one thing. | |
Now, Ryan helped me compile this, so I can't vouch for everything. | |
Where's the roast here, Ryan? | |
...of trying to fill up the word count on a term. | |
I believe it even says roast. | |
Roasting Kamala Harris with Matt Walsh. | |
And that came out the day after, if I'm not mistaken. | |
September 19th. | |
That's the day after we did the talk. | |
We've obviously announced the talk for weeks before. | |
So that's weird. | |
Number three! | |
Who likes to call it DEI? Everyone else. | |
What one person calls it D-I-E? Gavin McInnes. | |
In fact, I don't think I included this in the notes, but we also have a t-shirt, just like the Karens, of DEI being D-I-E. I can't remember if I invented this or not. | |
I feel like I did, because I remember being shocked when I saw Elon Musk or someone else use it, or maybe it was Gad said. | |
So I felt like that one was mine. | |
Hard to prove. | |
But can you pull up the t-shirts? | |
Go to shop. | |
T-shirts. | |
It's one of our more popular ones. | |
There we go. | |
D-I-E. Made to look like a kid's book. | |
So what's Matt Walsh doing with D-I-E? I don't think I've seen this clip. | |
And this is... | |
I made the shirts before October 2023. I came out with D.I.E. a long time ago. | |
Comedy to D.E.I. for... | |
Is that a screenshot? | |
I'd like to start with a land acknowledgement. | |
And do you think you could lead us in that? | |
I don't make a joke out of land acknowledgments. | |
They're very serious things. | |
So I'd have to do hours of research to find out which Indian burial site this theater is built on. | |
And whoever it is, I apologize. | |
How are you actively de-centering your witness? | |
That's a cute idea for an interview. | |
But the only relevant part is the very beginning there where you see where he's crossed out Di and replaced it with DEI. Alright, so that one's right on the border. | |
Number four. | |
If you recall, I was talking to Ant, Anthony Cumia, and we were listening to Kamala's black voice. | |
And I go, wait a minute. | |
I forget the exact clip. | |
We should probably have that ready. | |
But when she was doing it, she was like, I don't walk you a million miles before. | |
And we're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | |
That's not an old black lady from the South. | |
That's an old white lady from the South who runs the plantation. | |
And then we played some more of it. | |
Really should have that clip. | |
Or maybe Matt Walsh will have it. | |
And we laughed our tits off at how much she sounded like an old rich slave owner when she was trying to sound black. | |
And then Matt Walsh steals my bit Guys Enjoy my jokes. | |
We don't have me saying that, do we? | |
Well, I don't think we do, but you'll have to trust me on a lot of these. | |
It's from episode 158 of Compound Censored, or tax 1790. It's, can we be mad, please? | |
Okay, that doesn't really help show the truth. | |
It's one thing to have the episode. | |
You don't have the time code? | |
I don't. | |
Let me see. | |
I feel like I could drop the need. | |
Because, yeah, why have the fucking... | |
You all helped us win in 2020, and we're going to do it again in 2024. 2024! | |
I do declare. | |
Yeah, she kind of got off. | |
She kind of left the black plantation and went to the plantation owner there for a second. | |
Yeah, she went to the house. | |
Yeah. | |
She went from the field to the house. | |
She's the house nigga now. | |
My oh my, I do believe I'm getting a case of the vapors. | |
There we go. | |
That was fun. | |
Funnier than Walsh was. | |
So that was four. | |
Number five. | |
What's Gav's number one obsession? | |
The competence crisis. | |
Now, if you look it up, you'll see I didn't invent it. | |
But there's only one article out there called Complex Systems Will Not Survive the Competence Crisis. | |
It woke me up and ever since then I feel like the fucking meme with the glasses where I look at something and I realize, oh my god, that's another example of the competence crisis. | |
I gotta show you this fucking... | |
I was reading an article on my phone in the New York Post and the amount of ads and repetition, the photo captions repeat the content and then there's the same paragraph twice. | |
It's an absolute fucking unreadable mess. | |
And that's one of the most stalwart and oldest newspapers in the fucking world. | |
I think it goes back to like 1776 or some shit. | |
But anyway, so that was disappointing. | |
So we all know... | |
So I apparently started saying this in June 28th, 2023. And a year later, we got Matt talking about the... | |
Wait, you got to change it to five, bro. | |
We got Matt talking about the competence crisis. | |
That she didn't do this. | |
That this is her team. | |
Her team came up with this. | |
Which just shows you how incompetent... | |
Like the crisis of incompetence is... | |
Nationwide at this point, and especially in politics, right? | |
And yeah, Nikki Haley's presidential campaign is fake, it's not going anywhere, but still, like... | |
Okay, that's enough. | |
Crisis of incompetence, too. | |
Now you go, Gavin, you talk about Trump, he talks about Trump. | |
All cats are mammals, all dogs are mammals. | |
Yes, yes, I understand. | |
But a pattern is a pattern. | |
And we're at five now, so... | |
I don't own competence crisis. | |
I'm not saying that. | |
Number six, taking your dog to dinner. | |
This is my dad, his pet peeve. | |
Every time he visits me in New York, we're almost getting into a fistfight because he'll go up to people and go, see that? | |
You know that's illegal to have your dog there. | |
And I'm sure I've told you the hilarious story where my dad is livid, that this woman has her little puppy, her little chihuahua with a bow in its hair, at the table in a baby seat. | |
So he runs over to the manager and goes, this is fucking unacceptable. | |
You got a fucking dog in a baby seat? | |
And the manager goes, my God, no, I wouldn't allow that. | |
Where is this, sir? | |
And then my dad walks over, and he goes like this, and he stands over a little kid, not a dog, with a bow in its hair. | |
I don't know, he hallucinated or something? | |
And the manager looks at him, and then my dad looks down and realizes it's a human. | |
Maybe he saw the kid from behind and saw the bow and just assumed it was a dog. | |
And the second my dad saw it was a human, he just... | |
Walks out of the restaurant. | |
So we've told that story. | |
That story goes back fucking years. | |
I can call my brother. | |
And now Matt is mad about people who take their dogs to restaurants. | |
Your dog into a restaurant. | |
I hate dogs in bars, too. | |
Insane behavior. | |
It is disgusting. | |
It's uncivilized. | |
What the hell are you doing? | |
What are you thinking? | |
I took my kids out just this past Monday, actually, and I saw this. | |
Somebody walked past our table with a dog on a leash. | |
Not just... | |
I don't know, but plaid shirts, two plaid shirts, it's funny to see that during a... | |
Yeah, the tattoo, plaid shirt, the glasses, I mean, I didn't even include that. | |
The wedding ring, I mean, that's copying. | |
Wedding ring, I'm not gonna clean. | |
You swoop your hair the same direction. | |
Not a service dog. | |
Okay, this was not a blind person or someone like that. | |
It was just a dog. | |
It was a dog dog. | |
What the dog doing in the restaurant where we are eating. | |
I mean, it's out of control. | |
It's beyond reasons, beyond any notion of common sense. | |
I have a dog too. | |
It might surprise you to learn. | |
I actually like my dog most of the time. | |
She's a good dog, but you know what I'm not going to do? | |
I'm not going to inflict my dog on anyone else. | |
I'm always very aware of the fact that this dog is our dog. | |
It's our family's dog. | |
You know what else, by the way, people do with dogs? | |
They bring them to your house. | |
And he takes a shit and pisses in the house. | |
And they go, oh, he never does that. | |
Yeah, he never does that at home because he's already made that his territory. | |
This is a new place. | |
So he has to mark his territory by pissing on my fucking carpet. | |
Don't bring your dog to people's houses. | |
Don't bring it to bars. | |
And don't bring it to restaurants. | |
And if you bring your kid to your restaurant, make sure it doesn't look anything like a dog because Scottish people will think it is a dog and they'll complain. | |
Anyway, so that's, I mean, that's, it's hard to own that thing. | |
And what does Owen Benjamin always say? | |
He goes, once you just liberate yourself and stop worrying about who stole what joke and you're just glad the joke is out there or the message is out there, it's very freeing. | |
So I agree. | |
I'm just glad these messages are out there. | |
I'm banned. | |
I'm censored. | |
I probably couldn't even get an appearance on Daily Wire. | |
I probably couldn't be on Matt's show. | |
I bet they go, no, no, no. | |
Too risky. | |
We'll lose our YouTube. | |
We already have you on our network anyway. | |
What? | |
We already have you on our network anyway via Walsh. | |
Yeah. | |
We don't need an extra one. | |
We can't have you on the show, but we can have all your ideas. | |
Okay, this one is the weakest one so far. | |
I always say, all dogs, like when they go, oh yeah, you're like Hitler because you're a failed painter or whatever. | |
And you go, yeah, stop with the guilt by association. | |
It's very shitty logic. | |
All cats are mammals. | |
All dogs are mammals. | |
All cats are not dogs. | |
And every journalist, modern journalist, is incapable of understanding that. | |
I have not met one who can wrap his head around it. | |
So they'll say, well, there was a guy with a Confederate flag at January 6th. | |
Therefore, it was a racist event. | |
Hitler used toilet paper. | |
I use toilet paper. | |
I'm not Hitler. | |
Now, ready for a week? | |
Ryan's wife thinks she heard Matt say that. | |
That's all we got. | |
She said she heard it verbatim, and it was... | |
I forget the time period, but then somebody also sent me this because I put out an APB on the internet. | |
This is not it. | |
Maybe that's what she saw. | |
No, she's not on Twitter. | |
I remember her telling me, too. | |
She heard him say it. | |
And this was like, maybe while we're doing appointments for Daphne's birth. | |
So this was a while ago. | |
But you definitely beat that. | |
You've said it before that. | |
Some of the complaints won't be as strong as the other complaints. | |
This one, not exactly stultifying evidence. | |
I concede that. | |
But that's just number seven. | |
Let's go to number eight. | |
Oh, this one's even worse. | |
Deep thoughts versus deep tweets. | |
Now, we all know my deep thoughts, right? | |
That's a show I invented September 17th of this year. | |
Right? | |
We only have a couple episodes up. | |
It's a good way to bank stuff for when I go away. | |
Okay. | |
Matt Walsh has deep tweets. | |
Now, I think the strongest case Matt has here in this particular example, only example out of all ten, is that he was doing deep tweets two years ago. | |
But besides that... | |
Besides that, I got a pretty good case that he's a time-traveling thief. | |
And also, he doesn't want these to be... | |
I mean... | |
They're both green. | |
Look at the green amount. | |
When you're talking about someone doing an idea first, it doesn't help your case to be second. | |
So I'm going to let that float away, number eight. | |
Number nine... | |
Okay, we're getting flimsy here. | |
Lists have to be ten. | |
So, number nine, Disney adults. | |
Now, you've heard me. | |
Part of the reason the Proud Boys exist is because Rat, my old producer at Compound, went to fucking Disneyland with chicks at the age of like 25. No one got wasted and no one fucked. | |
And I go, what the fuck are you doing? | |
Then I would mock Ryan for going there, taking his baby there. | |
It's been a pretty strong, proud of your boy much? | |
So Disney has been a pretty strong theme for my past 10 years. | |
And Matt also is annoyed by Disney adults. | |
Adults who enjoy Disney World are mentally ill. | |
There's obviously some sort of mental illness going on here. | |
I think more research needs to be done. | |
There are adults who do this without kids. | |
For themselves. | |
Come on. | |
That's a strong one. | |
I mean, imagine that for a second. | |
You're an adult. | |
You have some time off of work. | |
You don't have any kids. | |
You obviously have the fact that you go to Disney World means you have a lot of expendable income. | |
You could go anywhere in the world, right? | |
And you decide to go to Disney World. | |
Like, I've said that so many times, it's hard to find an example. | |
I probably should have. | |
We should have had a clip, because I believe I've said all of those points verbatim. | |
That one was the most egregious out of the ten, I'd say. | |
With the Karens, of course, being close second. | |
Alright, last one. | |
He calls this guy Sweet Baby Gang. | |
Now, just to extrapolate on baby monsters, why do we do that? | |
I've always thought it was annoying and funny that pop stars have names for their fans. | |
Like Katy Perry's fans are called Katie Cats. | |
And Lady Gaga's fans are called Little Monsters. | |
And I remember some chick going, I like Lady Gaga, but I'm not a fucking little monster. | |
What the fuck is that? | |
Shut up. | |
And I thought that was funny. | |
Then when I found out that Maddie's nickname in prison was Baby Monster because he's a little guy, but he would lose his fucking shit and trash the prison. | |
And I thought, let's mock Lady Gaga and all that shit. | |
What are the Taylor Swift called Swifties? | |
Let's mock that phenomenon and also give an homage to our buddy Baby Monster, which he has tattooed on his hand. | |
It's like his name. | |
And then Matt Walsh calls his guys Sweet Baby Gang? | |
So the actress Monique recently got herself into hot water because of comments she made about the way, according to her, some black women dress and present themselves in public. | |
What's this got to do with Sweet Baby Gang? | |
This is the origin of Sweet Baby Gang. | |
Okay. | |
Then they later made it like a thing. | |
Matt calling all of us sweet babies gave me PTSD. But another comment says, okay, so Matt's fan base is officially known as the Sweet Baby Gang. | |
So two years ago. | |
Two years ago. | |
I guess I can't really tell. | |
He definitely came out with Baby Monster more than two years ago. | |
I'm seeing things here. | |
I'm looking through our emails. | |
I don't have an exact... | |
Well, how long have I known Matty for? | |
This was in the old studio, too. | |
We were baby monsters at the old studio, right? | |
That's correct. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah, I've known Matty for at least five years. | |
So, the moral of the story, folks, is don't be a bitch like this and get up and talk about how everyone is stealing your shit and you came up with all this and you're getting ripped off. | |
Enjoy that the message is getting out there. | |
But... | |
They say trust but verify. | |
Also, don't be a bitch and say that's mine, but it's worth acknowledging when the number gets up to 10. I think you're allowed to notice the pattern. | |
What year is that? | |
2021. And this video here was 2020. That's four, three years ago? | |
Yeah. | |
All right, there you have it. | |
We gotta document it, but I'm not mad. | |
So some of those were weak. | |
But some of those were pretty serious. | |
Yeah, we were going to talk about racism there for a second. | |
Let's fucking do it. | |
Racism. | |
Racism. | |
I'm a black female. | |
What else could I do to piss you off? | |
What else could I have done to piss you off? | |
A black woman? | |
Yeah. | |
This is really inconvenient. | |
That was crazy! | |
Oh, shit. | |
Dude, I fucked up. | |
What? | |
I forgot this is a free app. | |
Oh, poop. | |
Let's just jump into Purple Works Nutrition. | |
Jump Medic 2, we'll mention them. | |
They sponsored our fighter, Harley Heavy Hands Burke, the fight. | |
Pull up those shorts if you can. | |
Jump Medic. | |
I'd rather pull down those shorts. | |
You see the penis and the balls in the butt. | |
Did I print out the ad stuff? | |
Yeah, for Jump Medic, we'll get to them in a sec. | |
Triple H. Show is short. | |
There we go. | |
So Compound Censored, Purple Works on One Leg, Jump Medic, Red on Green is not that easy to see, but they also sponsored it. | |
So all three of those sponsors. | |
One. | |
Fellow Zionist, that's good. | |
That's not really what's happening there. | |
HHH is stolen by... | |
It's already a wrestler, so we've got to work on that. | |
I think just HH. Triple H has been done. | |
But yeah, that's the shorts that won. | |
Jump Medic, if you just want to jump to jumpmedic.com, you use the promo code RyanSucks, all one word, and you get 10% off your order. | |
I have a Jump Medic kit in my bar, Gav's Tav, and I have it in my wife's car for trips because that's the big, big giant family vehicle and I want there to be... | |
The amount of shit that is in these things is insane. | |
Like, when you start taking them apart, it would fill up this entire area where my desk is, packed into a little thing like that, like a blanket. | |
You know those silver blankets you use when you're cold? | |
That's in there. | |
Scissors, sutures, gauze. | |
It goes on and on and on. | |
You can make your own kits there. | |
And then we also have Purple Works Nutrition. | |
I didn't go to the gym today because my neck's fucked up. | |
It's actually feeling a bit better now. | |
But just sitting at my desk yesterday, I pulled a muscle in my neck and I couldn't turn to the right. | |
So I didn't rape myself with Purple Works Nutrition because once you do a scoop of this, you have to get to the gym. | |
Promo code GAVIN, 15% off. | |
What's the new shit? | |
Invictus? | |
Yes. | |
That's the new shit that I've been using. | |
And once again, when I talk about products, I've used them. | |
So when I promote a pre-workout, it's the pre-workout that I use. | |
Purpleworks Invictus, that's the shit. | |
And I've previously used to do this stuff. | |
I like this a lot better. | |
I don't know why. | |
I guess it tastes better. | |
I wonder if he's going to send us those delicious Pantone cakes again. | |
Do you remember that? | |
Yeah. | |
Oh, that was for Christmas. | |
Did you love it? | |
What? | |
It was the most tasty thing I've ever thought. | |
I'm a savory nigga. | |
I'm not a sweet nigga. | |
But it was both savory and sweet. | |
Yuck. | |
That's why I'm kind of confused. | |
Why you didn't like it. | |
No, it was delicious. | |
Every day, I would think about going home to eat it. | |
So, that's a little hint there, purple boy. | |
Give me some free cake, baby. | |
I really only have one story for racism. | |
I mean, we have immigration, right? | |
You know what? | |
Let me find that meme then. | |
Well, yeah, Jews are a race. | |
Let's just do this one. | |
Four or five, though. | |
Why has the white man vanished from commercials? | |
Why is that? | |
Now, I know you fucking boring Nazis out there go, it's the Jews. | |
The Jews don't want white people to be happy because they're scared of World War III. Okay. | |
Accept that, file that somewhere, and now move on. | |
If it rains on your birthday, it's not the Jews. | |
So, sure, we'll acknowledge there might be a disproportionate number of Jews in media who would like to promote these dumb things, but there's a supply and demand. | |
You can't really control the market, right? | |
And the reason that these thrive is because white women like them. | |
White women do probably 80% of all the buying in America. | |
They buy the family car. | |
They choose the family trips. | |
They shop for all the kids. | |
They usually buy their dad to buy her husband the jeans from Costco. | |
So this, all ads you see are for middle class white women. | |
New moms is probably ideally for this kind of stuff, right? | |
Young girls are good too, but new moms will buy a fucking car. | |
So they like this, and they enjoy this. | |
Now, they don't behave like that. | |
Maybe 1.5% of people, that includes women obviously, marry outside of their race. | |
So although mixed couples are everywhere on the news, TV, it's not really a thing in real life. | |
And it's becoming less and less common. | |
Asians used to be famous for marrying anyone, but they're getting back to their own. | |
And the Asian-on-Asian marriage is up drastically. | |
So, this is your fantasy, but you don't want to do it. | |
You like to see a world with a white guy and a white woman and a black guy. | |
And by the way, it's never a white guy with a black woman. | |
Those have been popping up a little bit more. | |
So, why do they like this? | |
And I think it's because of what I said before we started this segment, which is they feel bad about black crime, about racism. | |
They feel bad that there's not a lot of black surgeons. | |
So, we stick it in a show. | |
And then they go, there he is. | |
And he saved a racist girl, the daughter of a racist guy. | |
That's what goes on in the world. | |
I know deep down that's not what's going on, but this is my fantasy time. | |
And my fantasy is a world without racism, where other white women, not me, marry black guys. | |
And they get along great. | |
The white men are always stupid. | |
That one's a little less easy to figure out. | |
I think that's like, they're frustrated, you know, with their husband, and so they like taking him down a peg? | |
I don't know. | |
I venerate my wife, so I don't... | |
If you showed me a picture of my wife being a dumb bitch and bumping into stuff, I'd be like, hey, careful. | |
She just hit her head. | |
So I don't quite understand the whole making us into complete fucking idiots in commercials, but... | |
I think that, and this is why white women too, they put black women on a pedestal and say things like, black women are done trying to save this country. | |
Stop asking them for help to fight racism. | |
This is our problem. | |
They glorify them for the same reason, where they go, they're doing badly because of some sort of isms. | |
So I'm going to put them on a pedestal to erase that ism because you have to see it to be it. | |
And then they'll be fine. | |
Women shouldn't lead, basically. | |
What do you think of this? | |
They don't even know how many... | |
What's that smell? | |
Something smells like shit. | |
It's mean. | |
But also, here's why it's true. | |
These are flies buzzing on an Indian feller's butt. | |
Probably because of poop. | |
This is kind of drifting into feminism now. | |
Hmm. | |
Two-one. | |
This is more commercials. | |
And I'm just like... | |
You wrecked it. | |
I don't like your car. | |
Women are responsible for the death of cars, by the way. | |
Because they were told that if they're more aerodynamic, then they'll use less gas. | |
And it's probably true to the tune of $4 a year. | |
Thanks for making them all into fucking bubbles. | |
But Scout, beautiful truck. | |
What a fantastic car. | |
Look at that masterpiece. | |
White guy being venerated by the way, I didn't notice that. | |
Of course it's at the behest of a strong, empowered female. | |
With shit on her face. | |
She gets it? | |
Yeah, I am. | |
What'd you do to my favorite car? | |
You work at an auto dealership? | |
What? | |
You turn it into a lipstick tube? | |
Thanks for wrecking the scout. | |
It's got no more hard edges. | |
Hey, Dad, I softened your car and made it chick-like. | |
Thanks, bitch. | |
I really regret giving you that fucking thing. | |
All right, Ryan, here on Thanksgiving week, we've got to move out of here. | |
We didn't get to my things. | |
We're not doing your things. | |
I spend hundreds of hours accumulating important news items. | |
You don't just scroll through Twitter and then bookmark them? | |
You've got to go into categories. | |
I've got categories. | |
I've got one sprinkle. | |
I've got one kind of cool thing. | |
I've got updates on Tommy Robinson. | |
I've got an update on the theory about Jay Leno's bruised face. | |
Alright, let's do the Ryan show. | |
They're quick. | |
So Elon Musk has acknowledged Tommy Robinson, I think for the first time. | |
So that's, he's on his radar. | |
He's in prison for 18 months for showing a movie called Silenced, which we have on the site. | |
Right. | |
Pittsburgh Reddit solved the Jay Leno mystery. | |
Everybody was thinking that he has gambling debt and he was beat up because it looked pretty bad. | |
Yeah, it was blue. | |
Half his face is blue. | |
And his fingernail was missing, which is odd. | |
But he was staying at this Hampton Inn. | |
It's the only one in that area. | |
Otherwise, you'd have to go quite a while's away. | |
Quite a while's away? | |
Yeah. | |
He went to go eat at this place. | |
They specialize in buffalo chicken wings prior to the show. | |
You have to walk 750 feet on the road, not a mile as Jay mentioned. | |
And you can shave off 350 feet if you walk down the grassy hillside. | |
So he did fall down the hill, like he said. | |
Yes. | |
And it's super steep, apparently. | |
This is the most boring and useless piece of news we've ever had on the show. | |
So Jay Leno says he fell down, and that's why his face is bruised. | |
We did some research. | |
Turns out he fell down. | |
But nobody believes that. | |
Until that came out, which is true. | |
This is just cool. | |
Yes. | |
Suppressed. | |
This is all viral videos that everyone's seen, but okay. | |
Full auto. | |
You've seen it? | |
Everyone's seen this. | |
Oh my god. | |
So there's that. | |
DA Alvin Braggs. | |
Ryan, this is from like last week. | |
But we didn't, did you cover it? | |
No, but when something is that old, it's time to move past. | |
Here's Sprinkles. | |
No, I saw this and I decided it's not Sprinkles. | |
You don't think it's... | |
Okay. | |
No. | |
So then there's this pencil thing that you were looking for, but we never were able to find it. | |
We've discussed that a million times. | |
Yes, but this is the actual video. | |
Okay. | |
You couldn't find it before. | |
Now you're going back like 15 years. | |
That's true. | |
Putting a bow on it. | |
And then also this clip of Frank Castle getting beat up. | |
People thought it was real. | |
No, thank you. | |
And that's it for now. | |
Okay, well I'm glad we did that. | |
If you don't have anything else to add, I would like to get to the mailbag. | |
I do have one more thing. | |
It's a quick thing, but it's a thing nonetheless. | |
Okay. | |
It is, if you ponder the nature of... | |
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. | |
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbox. | |
Let me touch it. | |
Here's something kind of fun I got in the mail. | |
It's from The Blaze. | |
They're putting out a magazine now. | |
That seems to be the thing. | |
Sargon of Akkad, the Lotus Eaters, they have a magazine out. | |
It's very hard to find. | |
I think it's out of stock now. | |
Dear Gavin, we are proud to provide you with a copy of the inaugural issue of our new premium magazine, Frontier. | |
It's more than just a magazine. | |
It's a tribute to the enduring spirit of the American frontier. | |
Cool. | |
So it's got a hat in there. | |
That's a fun little chapeau. | |
A lot of... | |
So this is the magazine. | |
Very cool, matte finish. | |
Feels like sandpaper. | |
And he's got text on the front, which I always said is important. | |
It's a really good magazine. | |
Great writing. | |
Very interesting. | |
Here's my one note I would give on this. | |
And I used to do this with Vice. | |
I sort of stole it from the New York Post. | |
Make your first articles super short. | |
Like, the first thing it starts with is a 3,000-word article. | |
Let's have little blips and blops. | |
Like this show today, we start out with a bunch of silly videos. | |
And then when people, you know, like appetizers, you want to sort of lead a horse to water. | |
You don't want to bombard them. | |
Yeah, because you read it and then you're kind of like... | |
And this is like your everyday thing. | |
I have just the face too. | |
It comes with candles. | |
It comes with... | |
I assume this is some sort of day planner. | |
Oh, just like a book to write notes in. | |
That's fun. | |
I think that's it. | |
Yes, that's it. | |
And it's a fun box! | |
It's a really fun box. | |
So that's cool. | |
But yeah, my philosophy is start out light, even with conversation. | |
Don't go so dark so fast. | |
That's a guy thing. | |
We tend to come out of the fucking, come out of the corner swinging with really deep, spooky stuff about murder. | |
Especially if there's girls there. | |
What's the scent of the candle? | |
Like, don't start a conversation with a heart-wrenching symbol of Biden's illegal migrant scandal, a two-year-old crossing the border alone. | |
That's about as dark as it gets. | |
Don't do that. | |
Okay, first letter, Jeremy Isaacs wants us to know that Blue Bloods is a show that's not woke, and the Irish chick that plays a sister is hot. | |
I think about her when I jerk off almost as much as I think about your Irish mug. | |
Oh. | |
Guy has gay fantasies. | |
I don't know. | |
Blue Bloods just seems like a... | |
Wait, it's a New York cop show? | |
Isn't that the one with Magnum P.I.? Blue Bloods. | |
I thought it was the... | |
Yeah, Mark Wahlberg. | |
Oh, it's... | |
I thought it was a Chicago show. | |
Shall I try Blue Bloods? | |
Seems kind of soap opera-y. | |
The equalizer's still going on? | |
Wow. | |
With fucking Queen Latifah? | |
Yeah. | |
Wow. | |
I just saw a clip of her entering a place with a flashlight, with a smile on her face for some reason. | |
Okay, I did not know that a show that bad was capable of lasting more than an hour and a half. | |
Queen Latifah. | |
Remember when she endorsed Kamala? | |
Ooh, you got that Latifah vote. | |
Ahoy! | |
Have you listened to Archbishop Harold Holmes and What's the Trick by Jack White? | |
Was wondering if you had any recommendations for shit similar to this. | |
What's that? | |
Am I dumb? | |
No. | |
I've never heard of either of those things. | |
Oh, it's a song by Jack White of the fucking Red Stripes. | |
The White Stripes. | |
Let's hear What's the Trick. | |
Who's Archbishop Harold Holmes? | |
That's what I was looking up first. | |
Play What's the Trick. | |
Let's hear that. | |
Oh, they're both Jack White songs. | |
What a stupid fucking email. | |
You know, I'm kind of out of the Jack White business. | |
Yeah, like, I don't know why I shouldn't have... | |
I'm not here to find you other incredibly popular mainstream rock artists. | |
Before you send me your asshole, which I'm not proud of this, but I get so annoyed by people sending me those kind of things that Ryan showed, viral stuff that everyone's seen, that I will send them a picture of my anus as a fuck you. | |
And so people, I've noticed people are very wary. | |
They're like, hey man, look, please don't send me your asshole. | |
I think this is, it's only got 500 views and it's a day old. | |
You're like the Don, you're like, go ahead, what do you got for me? | |
Sounds like, please don't show me your asshole. | |
Sounds like you're going to have to see someone say ho. | |
I like the idea that you have, like, if your asshole gets better, you know, God willing, then you take a picture of that. | |
And if they send you something that's not so bad, like it's kind of more of a deep cut. | |
Oh, no. | |
My asshole's perfect now. | |
This was in Berlin, hungover, chronic diarrhea, and then insane chafing. | |
So it was a perfect storm of anal beatings. | |
Well, I think there should be a range, like a three gets that picture. | |
Something not so agreed, just like something that... | |
I actually did take pictures of the entire treatment as I used baby powder and other stuff, so maybe we could do... | |
Before you send me your asshole, I just had some content requests. | |
Can you repost an old Anthony Cumia show on Friday, similar to the old GOML repost on Saturdays? | |
There's a probable... | |
There is probable a ton of content you've got that us baby monsters haven't listened to. | |
That's a good idea. | |
They're all up there already, so I don't know. | |
I'd have to ask if we could... | |
I just sort of put them on the front page because they're already released. | |
How do you get to the very first Anthony Cumia show? | |
Go to Anthony Cumia's show and then go to his 222nd page and then those will be the first episodes ever. | |
Oh, so there you go, sir. | |
Just do some clicking. | |
I know what you mean. | |
Like, well, we're thinking about that. | |
We've thought about this for a while, too. | |
Curating a channel. | |
So it's constantly streaming, like, random live content. | |
Like a TV show. | |
TV channel. | |
That'd be kind of cool. | |
But we haven't figured out if that's worth doing. | |
Is this just on? | |
Yeah. | |
Like showing repeats, showing old stuff that, you know, because that's the whole thing is like without a curation, it's like you get the same Netflix problem where you're arrested by the options. | |
I was like, what do I start clicking on first? | |
You've now amassed a super group of content producers. | |
I'd love to see a censored academy with proper courses from some of these guys. | |
You on business and branding and culture. | |
Jim Gould on white history and factual writing. | |
Kumeya on speaking and creating a podcast, etc. | |
Owen on piano and comedy writing. | |
The Peterson Academy is really something to emulate. | |
I tried that. | |
That was my brother's idea. | |
And no one bit. | |
That sucks. | |
Number three, last one. | |
Affiliate marketing. | |
It'd be decent if Baby Monsters could generate their own codes to get people into Censored so that we'd get subscription discounts. | |
You obviously don't know much about business. | |
That would bring us in maybe three subs and be a headache of paperwork. | |
Really loving Compound Censored guys. | |
Aside from Leo Kearse's Patreon, Censored is the only thing I pay to view. | |
Thanks. | |
P.S. Bank of Scotland has been calling me every month since Kearse Starmer came into power to ask about my payment to your service. | |
Really odd shit is going on over here. | |
Wow. | |
I'm not following anymore. | |
The first three I was following. | |
What are we talking about? | |
Have you stepped off the flags? | |
Leo Kearse? | |
Yeah. | |
I don't know who that is. | |
No, I mean, are you still going on the flags for the mail? | |
Because I was following you before and now I don't see that one that you mentioned. | |
Oh, I should turn it to orange too fast, maybe. | |
Oh, I see. | |
White women, am I right? | |
He says, and then he sends an Instagram reel of white women being horrible. | |
You're just a white girl who got overwhelmed by the power of the Polynesian culture while watching Moana 2. Isn't Moana 2 like a Disney cartoon? | |
That's correct. | |
What? | |
So she's watching it on screen or they're reenacting it? | |
I don't know. | |
It might be a meme. | |
Wow. | |
Like, that's a lady. | |
That's fucking horrific. | |
Candace breaks big news in the Matt Gaetz story. | |
I was mad at Candace because I feel like I discovered her. | |
And remember I was telling you earlier that I had to pay money to get liberals to debate? | |
Well, she's one of the people that asked for money, so that pissed me off. | |
But I'm not so dumb that I let personal things affect the quality of the content. | |
Candace is hitting it out of the park these days. | |
She's like Megyn Kelly. | |
And even Tucker. | |
Unleashed. | |
Someone set them free. | |
And she's dropping neutron bombs. | |
You know what? | |
I don't care if she's wrong about some things. | |
I'm not dumb enough to take everyone's word, everyone at their word. | |
I go research it. | |
But yeah, Kamala's mom was involved in MKUltra. | |
And yeah, Matt Gaetz was framed. | |
Turn it up. | |
Zoom out so people can see how to see this. | |
Plus, speaking of nominations, I'm apparently in the running for Anti-Semite of the Year. | |
I'm not kidding. | |
The account Stop Anti-Semitism has selected me, Greta Thunberg, Bassem Youssef, Dan Bilzeri, and many others. | |
Who should win? | |
And this puts me in a weird bind because I am naturally competitive and I like to win. | |
We're going to talk about all of that. | |
Coming up now, welcome back to Candace. | |
Anyway, you can look that up. | |
But she breaks down the Matt Gaetz story. | |
Black male FBI getting involved. | |
This is why I think he was so qualified to work with the DOJ because he saw what the DOJ can do when it's corrupted. | |
And it's corrupted. | |
Okay, last one. | |
Gaztav needs one of these BAS punching apparatuses. | |
As the fat trucker who cornered you at West Vesta, I obviously have full authority to give you life advice. | |
The Bass Ruten Body Action System Punching Apparatus, Bass Ruten is a legendary UFC champion Dutch kickboxer from the old days, is a boxing apparatus with spring, steel torso, and head segments so you can practice your famous jab to the body, no look over hand to the head. | |
In the comfort of your own Tav. | |
Since getting it, I've lost 15 pounds in two weeks after saving up money to take time out of the truck to get back in shape. | |
Huh. | |
Oh, it looks much bigger than I initially thought. | |
I thought it was a little thing, but then you see the sandbags on the base. | |
Hello! | |
Huh. | |
By the way, that reminds me of a video from the notes I meant to get to. | |
This man cave, it's pretty viral. | |
Where did I put it here? | |
Uh... | |
Tyrus? | |
Yes. | |
Yeah, go to 2-2. | |
It's kind of a final video, in a sense. | |
In the sense that... | |
I hated this. | |
You like this? | |
Oh, I'll tell you. | |
And in the naked Awesome. | |
What a great thing to have in your basement. | |
I want that. | |
Pinball game. | |
I got a pinball game. | |
They're fun. | |
Cool. | |
I'm on board with your man cave. | |
Whoa! | |
Modern gun room. | |
That's fucking awesome. | |
Really cool. | |
Okay, yeah. | |
Another entire room. | |
Okay. | |
John Wick thing. | |
Okay. | |
What's this? | |
Our fourth room now? | |
Okay. | |
Pool table. | |
Awesome. | |
I got one of those. | |
That's great. | |
I mean, I know they say you can never have too many guns, but now there's a fifth room? | |
The gun and fine wine room? | |
What the fuck is that? | |
That's awesome, indoor range, obviously. | |
That's fucking cool. | |
And then the workbench, well, yeah, you need one. | |
That's great. | |
I don't know, man. | |
I'm not really jealous of five gun rooms. | |
No. | |
I think one big cool one is great, but... | |
I'm glad your kid's friends could tell his other friends that my dad is the coolest room in the world, but when they get older, they're going to be like, what's... | |
How many gun rooms you got? | |
Seven. | |
What? | |
Okay. | |
Hope you enjoy winning World War III single-handedly. | |
All right, let's get to the final vid. | |
Final vid. | |
Vidalis. | |
Okay. | |
Uh, Um... | |
I'm not brave enough to jump off 75-foot cliffs anymore. | |
I think I was at one point. | |
But you get older, you get gayer. | |
And I love seeing young men still have some balls and do crazy shit like this. | |
This is inspiring. | |
Even though he's wearing those toe shoes. | |
This is fucking brave. | |
One... | |
Two. | |
Holy shit. | |
What a fucking badass. | |
Alright folks, I'm off to Chi-Town. | |
My town, Chi-Town. | |
I'll see you back here Monday. | |
And I hope you enjoy our COP exposé Big John and I did on Thursday. | |
Compound Censored, Anthony will be doing alone. | |
I'm off tomorrow. | |
Then Friday we have Compound Censored Radio, which a few people will love and a lot of people will hate. | |
And then we're back to business on Monday. | |
So until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. |