Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S6E39 - THANKS FOR CLEANING, POLACK

Oct. 11, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:51:02

S6E39 - THANKS FOR CLEANING, POLACK

In Gavin's last episode ever he bullies God into discussing Turkish dark wave, the Mets, the myth of imminent robots, his ACTUAL height, the anti-white origins of anti-Semitism, a brilliant golf hack, Jim Downey, feminist whore genocide, white guys for Kamala, violent trannies, Arynne Wexler, and finally the meanest letter ever sent to anyone, ever.

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Time	Text
	Live from New York.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes
	Waiting for some vocals.
	You and me together forever.
	Blood bond in style to the rebel.
	I love you.
	Blood bond in style to the rebel.
	I think mine were better than fucking Nosferatu over there.
	Well, I think they're going for that.
	They're going for Bauhaus.
	Turkish dark wave band called Inziva.
	And that was She Passed Away, spelled P-A-S-T.
	I don't know if that's a typo.
	If I was on Twitter, I would explain this better be a pun or something because it's P-A-S-S-E-D.
	Don't let me back on Twitter.
	I'm just going to be a grammar Nazi.
	You're right that I'm a Nazi, but you got the wrong thing I'm a Nazi about.
	Spelling.
	I'm a phonics fascist.
	I'm a grammar Nazi.
	Yeah.
	I'm going to correct six million errors.
	Today is the free episode of Get Off My Lawn.
	We usually have God conduct these episodes.
	We spin a wheel and God decides what subjects we'll cover.
	So in a sense, we're the only internet network that has God as a contributor.
	You know, some people have Joe Rogan.
	Some people have Matt Walsh.
	We have God.
	Speaking of God, today's episode is brought to you by Purple Works Nutrition, a pre-workout that I take every day I work out.
	Unfortunately, I was heavily influenced by Big John last night, who got me wasted here at the studio after the show, and I was too drunk to go to the gym today.
	So I didn't take Purple Works.
	Purple Works makes you go to the gym when you don't want to, and I didn't want to.
	Plus, I'm sore from yesterday's workout.
	So I don't feel that bad.
	But if you're not totally destroyed and hung over, then take Purple Works, especially their new, what's it called?
	Invictus?
	The purple stuff?
	Invictus.
	That's the stuff I take.
	I've moved on from the normal brand to the Invictus.
	I don't have it here to show you because it's in my top drawer.
	I'm sorry, my top thing in the pantry, whatever.
	Invictus.
	And if you use promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.
	My body is an attestment to how well this works.
	And you go, but Gavin, you're not muscular.
	Dude, if you looked at my body when I was in my 20s, it looks like Grover.
	I'm a pregnant teen with spaghetti arms, like the worst of all worlds, a skinny fat guy.
	And now I'm just a moderately chubby guy with some sort of definition, nothing fancy, but light years from what I'm supposed to be.
	So Purple Works Nutrition works.
	Speaking of terrible bodies, this is a very exciting time for me as a Mets fan.
	We don't know who we're playing Sunday, but I'm very money ball when it comes to baseball.
	I don't expect to win the World Series.
	I think that happened in 1986.
	So statistically, it's looking pretty low.
	But we'll find out this Sunday.
	I'm very happy with where we are right now.
	If we lose every game from now on, I'm still fucking dancing.
	And it's all because of Grimace.
	Grimace threw the first pitch months ago now, I think.
	And it totally changed everything.
	And that's why on the 7th train, after, I think it was Wednesday's game, Tuesday's game, the real Grimace, not someone in a costume, actual Grimace, showed up to a Mets game and got on the 7 train.
	The 7 train is the train everyone takes after a game.
	And look how fucking awesome this is.
	What a greeting he gets.
	Oh, That's the real Grimace.
	He's a Mets fan.
	They're all hugging him and dancing.
	Oh, man.
	I was at the Monday game.
	It was exciting.
	Everyone was screaming obscenities at Philly's fans.
	And I think that's why we won.
	We were so mean.
	Check out this cool Mets hat I just bought.
	It's a Proud Boy's Mets hat made of black corduroy.
	You probably can't see the texture on your screen, but that's pretty cool.
	Proud of your boy.
	We can see it.
	Can you?
	Yeah, looks cool.
	We'll get to the God wheel shortly, but there's some topical things I have to cover, It's my biggest pet peeve is people thinking that robots are a thing.
	They are not a thing.
	Furthermore, they will never be a thing.
	Alright?
	There's never going to be a fucking robot in your house serving you a beer and answering questions.
	It might be able to do 32 times 36, but it will never say, that is an interesting question.
	As you know, I have problems with both humor and love.
	So this is not my area of expertise.
	But allow me to try.
	Why did the chicken Fuck off!
	So, people have been sending me this all fucking day.
	Elon Musk showcased his new robots.
	Soon, every household will have these.
	And we've made a lot of progress.
	So, you're going to install AI and Chat GPT into it, and then I'm going to ask it questions, and it's also going to make me a strawberry margarita.
	You know who's going to do that?
	A lot cheaper?
	A turd world illegal alien.
	Those will always exist.
	Humans will always be cheaper than this.
	And the more wealthy we get, the more fucking illegals we'll have mowing our lawns.
	I'm not happy about it, by the way.
	I'm not saying this is good.
	But the idea that there won't always be slaves available.
	Slavery wasn't abolished, by the way.
	We just moved the goalposts.
	And now we have Manuela in our home, the house and we pretend that she's part of our family.
	Although we do discipline her and threaten to fire her all the time.
	She's a string.
	Be your friend.
	Shut the fuck up.
	I hate when rich people have a live-in maid or nanny or au pair and they say, she's part of our family.
	You can't fire your sibling, you shitheads.
	I love diversity.
	So many different foods.
	You can have Somali food one night, a burrito the next night.
	You have a problem with illegal aliens?
	What?
	You hate tacos?
	Like, they're always talking about people who serve them.
	I would hate to have a servant.
	I'd hate to have a slave.
	Hello, Masta.
	Anything else I could do?
	I don't fucking know.
	The cotton season's only a couple months.
	I guess, like, clean up the garage.
	Okay, I'm done.
	That was like two hours.
	Yeah, it wasn't that dirty.
	You already had me clean it.
	Oh, for fuck's sakes.
	I remember having interns advice.
	And it was more work to have them because you have to come up with stuff.
	I guess alphabetize all that shit.
	Here he is.
	Here's a robot fucking.
	Oh.
	Is that armor?
	No.
	It's robotics.
	Okay.
	So that hurts.
	Well, that's what's great about this show.
	I'll be very sure about something, and then I'll be corrected by a robot that works here.
	I produce the show.
	I can do all sorts of things with my hands, with my chest.
	A little bit of the uncanny valley with your face, though.
	It's not a human face.
	It's not a Puerto Rican face.
	It's not a Japanese face.
	Those are humans.
	It just looks like a weird retard.
	You're describing human races.
	Yeah, but this combination is uncanny.
	It's not uncannily handsome.
	Show, do one, five.
	People are like, whoa, I'm scared.
	This is freaking me out.
	Are you freaked out?
	Yeah, I'm freaked out.
	I believe in science fiction movies.
	What a great job he's doing, by the way.
	Thick plastic cups that won't break.
	And I'm pouring you 60% of a beer.
	Listen to the robot.
	Sweet, thanks man.
	Bro.
	Of course, anytime.
	Alright.
	How's everybody doing?
	How's everybody doing?
	How are you doing?
	Obviously, a remote mic.
	I love the change.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just a guy.
	How's everybody doing?
	I was really impressed by their AI, how natural it sounded, but just a fucking guy.
	Just a guy.
	A watermelon?
	Yeah.
	Science fiction.
	Sure.
	That speech is more advanced than the actual robotic.
	I'm embarrassed for you if you think that robots are going to be a thing.
	That means you watch science fiction and go, one day, man, the Terminator is going to be real, fuck.
	That movie where Chris Pratt was on a ship and he's best friends with the bartender who has no legs.
	He's a robot.
	And he goes to the bar and talks to the fucking bartender.
	That's a fictional movie, you boob.
	What do you believe in wrestling, too?
	Speaking of science fiction, this is not exactly breaking news, but I just found this out.
	Did you know the fifth element is stolen frame by frame from heavy metal?
	Heavy metal was originated in France where they are into comics.
	Bon d'Ecine, they call it over there.
	And it's a really cool, regular magazine.
	They would have sci-fi comic books, Moeus and Milo Minara and Libertoire.
	Really cool comics.
	And then they became so big they moved to the States, became heavy metal.
	I think Metal Orlando is like burning metal or something.
	And then they eventually made a movie.
	This was like this late 70s, early 80s, when they were around.
	I had a subscription as a kid.
	And the fifth element is not inspired by the cartoon heavy metal.
	It's the exact same fucking movie.
	Like, think of, you know, they do those storyboards?
	They just use heavy metal as a storyboard.
	Is that legal?
	I saw a Razor Fist post on X that said that, it said that James Cameron's movies are all stolen ideas, too.
	Yeah, well, the avatar was Fern Gully.
	And then he goes on to say that Terminator was...
	Like, all the movies.
	I guess this is legal.
	Like, right down in the taxicab, and then the mugger goes to rob him, and he zaps the guy and steals his gun and throws it into his big pile of guns.
	What's wrong?
	Shouldn't someone be getting sued?
	Look at that.
	The only difference is Fifth Element had that, what was it, Dior or Jean-Paul Gaucher, some famous fashion guy doing all the outfits?
	Okay.
	Anyway.
	Also, an important news, I keep getting these people insisting that I'm 5'9.
	That is so gay.
	It's like when girls, girls, yo, your little tiny dick, it's a liberal thing, a white liberal thing, where women, they talk about your tiny dick.
	Like anyone gives a shit if you have a tiny dick.
	Like that's what you do when you're courting.
	I've been married for a long time.
	Anyway, I'm going to measure myself and settle this once and for all.
	Ready?
	Let me get my boots off here.
	Brian, use your phone and then also use that main, the big camera and we will settle this.
	Camera three.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	All right.
	You got the measuring tape?
	Yes.
	So you know how to do this, right?
	You take a piece of cardboard.
	Well, here, I got cardboard over here.
	Take a piece of cardboard and put it on top of my head.
	And then you mark on the wall.
	Mark on the wall.
	You'll be doing this with your kids quite a bit.
	I've done it already, yeah.
	We have a height wall.
	One time I had a Polish maid come by in my apartment.
	She's like, oh, what a total mess.
	And she washed it off.
	Holy smoke.
	Like all three kids gone.
	Wow.
	Thanks for cleaning, Polak.
	So grab that pen.
	That's totally episode.
	Thanks for cleaning, Polak.
	And then make sure people can see that my heel is here.
	Right.
	Okay, I'll do the widest.
	And then make sure this cardboard is exactly parallel to the ground.
	It is.
	I'm going to go under it, if that's okay.
	Yep, that's what you do.
	Of course that's what you do moron.
	Otherwise, we'd be sneaking in.
	You'd be adding the cardboard.
	Yes.
	Okay, bam.
	Okay, so you got the line?
	I do.
	Okay, now where's the measurement tape?
	In my hoodie pocket.
	Oh my gosh.
	This is all.
	Okay, so I'm going to go down to the bottom.
	You can see that, right?
	Not cheating.
	I'm putting the cap back on the pen.
	510 and a half to the fucking decimal place.
	Oh yeah, that's pretty clean.
	And now I'll hold it there.
	And that's actually under the smallest smidge.
	Go down, go down.
	So they see there's no like moving the measuring tape.
	Let's do it full this angle.
	So this is all in one shot here.
	You want to go back?
	That's the bottom.
	No funny business.
	No funny business.
	You fucking adolescent zoomer morons.
	And why do you care?
	Why would I lie?
	It's like penis size.
	I'm sure it's important when you're single and courting ladies.
	I've been married for fucking a quarter of a century.
	Faggots.
	And another thing.
	With penis size.
	Everyone's talking about 12 inches as a good cock.
	That's a big cock.
	That's a circus freak.
	I mean, where does that go?
	Next to your lungs?
	A woman's pussy is only about four inches deep.
	So after that, you're like getting into her organs.
	So a woman should be fine with this as an erection.
	And if you're this, well, that's not terrible.
	it's three quarters of the way in a pussy.
	I can't see you there.
	Were you the joker or something or a robot?
	A robot?
	Robot.
	Robot.
	Also in the news.
	By the way, just to be perfectly clear, we pre-recorded that height measuring thing because I wanted to combine the two camera angles.
	So don't think that if you notice that the desk looks different, that you've uncovered some sort of scam.
	And the penis size thing was a joke.
	You can see my penis in How to Be a Man.
	It's beautiful.
	It's one of my best features, actually.
	My worst feature being my asshole, especially when I have hemorrhoids and it's chafed.
	And if you send me some viral thing that everyone has fucking seen to death, then I'm going to send you a picture of my inflamed asshole as punishment.
	And it's been working quite well, actually.
	You know the guy who send us the fuck you, buddy?
	Yeah.
	I sent him a big long thing live on the show where I go, fuck you, you idiot.
	Why are you sending me this?
	It's from 10 years ago and it's the most viral video in the world.
	What are you retarded, really mean email?
	And he just sent back, all right, I won't send anything again.
	Oh, I guess no one's ever been mean to you.
	All right, let's spin the God wheel, shall we?
	We can, we shall, we do.
	Well, bumper first, right?
	Yes.
	The God wheel.
	So God is in control of this.
	We let him do the show.
	And sometimes we'll go, God, like, why the war on kids three times in a row?
	And then that weekend we'll see that there's child sex trafficking or something and we'll realize, holy crap, he's playing 4D chess with us.
	So this is up to the Lord in heaven above and we'll see what he decides.
	There's plenty of shit we want to talk about, like racism, for example.
	But let's see if he deems that important.
	Whoa, ended up on racism.
	That's weird.
	What are the odds?
	That's the one I wanted it to be.
	Yeah.
	Kind of a trip, huh?
	What a coincidence.
	Yeah, seems kind of weird.
	We'll play the racism thing.
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	That was crazy!
	I have a dream.
	I have a dream.
	It's gotta be one of the greatest fucking songs on earth.
	Holy shit.
	They loop the intro, though.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Yeah?
	They literally just play it twice.
	You could like hear the cut.
	I'm gonna ask ChatGPT if that's true.
	I forgot to plug Nita Fashions.
	I usually wear a suit, a custom tailored suit on this show.
	I have more suits than I need now, thanks to Nita Fashions.
	I call it have your own tailor for cheap.
	I call it, it's for cheap rich guys.
	And to go to their fittings, pull up Nita Fashions, Ryan.
	To go to their fittings is like going to the spa.
	It's all men.
	There's very few places we have left.
	The barbershop, although women are infiltrating there, they bring their son and then they wait for him to get his hair cut so he can't do rude jokes or help him trash talk like in Gran Torino.
	The boxing gym, though women are there doing their silly boxing where they punch the heavy bag, not even hard enough to break an egg, but okay.
	The dive bar, again, women are all over these fucking things.
	I would say a tailor is one of the only places where it's all dudes and women don't come in.
	I've talked to them about females and he goes, sometimes some lesbian will come in, she wants a blazer, and he goes, it's a nightmare.
	They always want it redone and retouched and blah, blah, blah.
	It takes way too much time.
	So you can contact Nita Fashions on their Instagram or through their site.
	There's a million ways.
	They're very easy to find.
	And you could do, you buy on Amazon, get one of those wobbly cloth tailor measuring things that tailors use.
	And, you know, great first date thing with the chick.
	You can get measured via FaceTime.
	And then they can send you swatches and you can choose your outfit.
	You should have at least one suit.
	Even if you're a plumber, you're going to go to a funeral.
	You're going to go to a wedding.
	And when they're custom fit, they feel like PJs.
	So go to their schedule, Ryan, because the best thing to do, if you have to do the remote thing, that's fine.
	But if you check their schedule, now, I don't know, make me small and make it big.
	This is not really...
	So they are still in Palo Alto, California, October 11th.
	They're going to be there for two more days.
	Then if you're anywhere near San Francisco, they're going to be there for a couple days.
	If you're anywhere near Scottsdale, Arizona, they're there 17th and 19th.
	Then they're in Palm Beach, California, 21st and 22nd.
	And then the 24th to the 27th, they're in LA.
	And the beauty of it, too, is once they have your measurements, you can just go like, hey, I saw this cool shirt.
	Like I sent them a picture of Jesse James and his brother.
	And I go, I love this suit, especially when it's all worn in.
	Can you make that?
	And it doesn't exist anywhere in their plans.
	And they go, yeah, yeah, we can pull that off.
	It's just a high collar on a blazer.
	I have a Jesse James suit now that I can wear with my cowboy boots.
	That picture.
	I sent them that picture and they made me that suit.
	And if you go back over old issues of censored, I'm sorry, get off my lawn.
	You can see it.
	Okay, so free episodes.
	We tend to avoid racism.
	Those are the two guys, Peter and Anil, father-son.
	He said to me once, he goes, I wouldn't sell this for $4 billion.
	This is a family business, and I'm going to have it.
	I want my grandsons to have this business.
	That's very admirable.
	Different generation.
	Okay, sorry, racism.
	Now, we try to avoid this subject because, you know, it's controversial and America has a big stick up their ass when it comes to race.
	But fuck it.
	This is one of my favorite things.
	A guy with a leaf blower.
	It's a black dude stealing this from that.
	What's he some European guy?
	You know the dude?
	He's pretty good at viral videos.
	He invented this thing.
	He also busts pedophiles now with famous rappers as part of his entourage.
	Oh, I forgot his name, but yes.
	He's good.
	I mean, it's Europeans are starlings, right?
	They come here and take over.
	But here he is.
	No, here's a different guy stealing his bit.
	But I just love this bit because these wigs look so fucking dumb.
	Like, why is your actual hair as embarrassing as exposing your genitals?
	Royal Screams
	Like, he sends that one flying.
	And everyone's like, this.
	Oh, my God.
	Your actual hair has been exposed.
	Well, how horrible.
	Look, look at her running.
	She's exposed, naked.
	They literally care more about that than their tits.
	Like, in every fight that I see with black women, a tit flops out.
	Yeah.
	Or their shirt is gone.
	Yeah.
	And they don't care.
	And here's the thing.
	That dude with the chin beard, what the fuck's his name?
	The mulatto guy.
	He just did a book on lies my liberal teacher told me.
	Like back when I was on Twitter, he argued with me about this, and he's wrong.
	It's weird to be embarrassed of your natural hair.
	Imagine if you would.
	Wilfred Riley.
	Yeah, Wilfred Riley.
	Imagine if you will.
	If you would.
	Every single white woman you know or see on the street is wearing an Afro wig, a different race's hair.
	Wouldn't that bother you?
	That would be weird.
	When I was a kid in Canada, blacks didn't do this.
	Even up until when I moved here in the 90s, I was shocked when I moved to America and saw every single black woman wearing a wig.
	She don't wear no wig.
	She's got braids, which, by the way, were invented by the Dutch.
	Black people think they invented braiding hair.
	Sorry.
	That was in the Netherlands.
	I also get a lot of flack from Jews who think I'm a Nazi, and I get a lot of flack from Nazis who think I'm a Jew lover, which probably means you're in a good spot.
	You're doing the right thing.
	And I am a Zionist.
	I support Israel.
	I don't want them getting all this money.
	$4 billion a year is plenty.
	I think we give them $17 billion this year.
	I don't want our boys going over there to fight that war, but you got beef with Palestine.
	They attacked you on October 7th.
	Have a war.
	Your civilian casualties are not that bad.
	They're better than we had in World War II.
	We had nine civilians for every enemy combatant.
	Israel's down to like two for one.
	And this is Palestine using civilians as cannon fodder, hiding behind them, quite literally.
	But to be totally honest, a big part of my support for Israel is the anti-Israeli movement here in America is Marxists, college students, it's refugees, Muslims, and it is self-hating whites.
	So the real reason you're seeing these protests all over the country is anti-white hatred.
	That is what these college campuses are.
	Do you think these college students give a flying fuck about Palestine?
	Do they think they even know where it is?
	They've been asked, from the river to the sea, what river, what sea?
	They don't know because they don't care.
	They know a whitish person is attacking a brownish person, so I'm choosing the brownish side.
	If Greece invented Syria, you'd hear non-stop talk about the importance of the Syrian independence movement or something.
	They'd be wearing whatever Syrians wear.
	And I thought this was a great example of it.
	This fucking loser.
	There's two types of people in the world.
	Men, I should say.
	Men who've been punched in the face and men who haven't been punched in the face.
	This self-hating white is someone who hasn't been punched in the face, and he's going to Jewish areas and antagonizing people who are eating dinner.
	Is this the right video?
	It was the next one on the list.
	Oh, no, sorry.
	Okay, sorry.
	We'll get...
	It's supposed to be 20, right?
	Yeah, let's save 20.
	Okay.
	Let's jump to 21.
	Because I already introduced it as.
	Sir, what?
	What?
	Three?
	You say free Palestine?
	That's what you said?
	This is a white guy.
	As white as me.
	Sir, ma'am, can we ask your stance on Palestine?
	Sir, can we ask your stance?
	Do you get plastic surgery done, sir?
	Sir, no stance.
	Guys, don't worry.
	We're just with the press media.
	Free Palestine, free.
	You don't give a what?
	What'd you say, boy?
	What'd you say, Tough God?
	What'd you say?
	That guy is making fears.
	You guys out there who hate Israel.
	Look at your fellow activists.
	You chose the losing chip.
	You chose the Dort.
	Can we ask your stance on Palestine?
	Just punch him.
	Please, punch him.
	This shouldn't be as real as stop, stop.
	Oh, that's him.
	White people are always lame.
	He could be my brother.
	White people are always lame.
	You're stuttering now.
	Stop.
	Do you see what I'm saying?
	Like, there's an argument against Israel and how Palestine doesn't have these rights and blah, blah, blah.
	I understand that, and I've argued with said people.
	I've been there.
	I've argued.
	There's a lot of anti-Israelis in Israel, by the way.
	You should read their fucking media.
	It sounds like it's written by David Duke.
	I'm pro those Israelis.
	But that's not the impetus for the anger here in America.
	It's not logical.
	It is racist and it's anti-white.
	I'm not saying if you hate Jews or something, you hate whites by definition.
	I'm saying that is the pattern that I've noticed.
	This guy is the perfect example of the pro-Palestinian movement here in America.
	It's anti-white.
	They see Jews as the ultimate whites.
	Ma'am, can we ask your stance on Palestine?
	And I think Jews are shocked too because they thought that they weren't white.
	And they thought that it would be all MAGA guys out to get them after October 7th.
	Sorry.
	It's the Marxists you created, and it's the refugees you let in.
	Please, one comment.
	We need a comment.
	Kalestin?
	Frif?
	Only you.
	Frif, because he's a baby killer.
	War criminal.
	Baby killer.
	Put a red triangle on top of his head.
	Bucko!
	Buko!
	Buko!
	He's not happy!
	What happened to the happy guy?
	Now he's mad.
	He's not happy anymore.
	Now he's angry.
	Sir, who are you looking for?
	Where are you looking?
	Who's going to help you?
	Does this guy give a shit?
	The TikToker about the, what is it, 95 hostages there?
	They say a third of them are probably dead.
	Who's going to help you, bro?
	This guy needs a punch in the face so badly.
	Please hit him.
	The free, free, free thing is really making me mess.
	Do you support the rape of non-cutting chicken, brother?
	Do you support the rape of non-cut?
	Someone should hit his phone.
	That will entail.
	Look at the fucking pussy with his dog.
	Why did you bring your dog to a restaurant?
	Get out of here.
	Now I think I'm going to stay right now.
	You look like Benny White.
	You're about to die.
	Shut up.
	Shut up.
	What are you going to do?
	What are you going to do?
	See?
	What are you going to do?
	He's never been punched.
	What are you going to do?
	What are you going to do?
	What the hell?
	Fuck you.
	Fuck you.
	Why are you tolerating this?
	Are you wearing a diaper now?
	You're wearing a diaper.
	We're just using our voice to say free Palestine.
	That tends to make people say fuck Palestine.
	And next thing you know, people are yelling and telling us that they're mad.
	Control yourself, sir.
	Free Palestine, buddy.
	Okay.
	I understand.
	Does he cry?
	Wait, did he just cry at the end?
	You know, people are yelling and telling us that they're mad.
	And we just say, hey, free Palestine, buddy.
	Okay.
	I understand.
	So he's got a video call to come.
	Rich people don't like hearing things they don't like to hear.
	Captain, once you're in the middle of the street.
	Yeah, I don't like hearing yo free, free, free when I'm trying to eat.
	I understand.
	But unfortunately, this sidewalk is public.
	Yes, of course.
	I'm allowed to no expectation of privacy in public.
	Yes.
	As long as we're not starting fights or whatever.
	I just want to.
	Oh, you're starting fights, though.
	I'll figure out if there was some kind of argument going on if it's not.
	The restaurant, if he's, he was in the restaurant, like on there.
	He wasn't on the sidewalk.
	They own that area, so he could just be trespassed.
	Like, he's got an argument if he stays outside the little fence there.
	Anyway.
	We're just saying free Palestine.
	Yeah, we're free Palestine.
	So obviously you guys are not.
	Where is Palestine?
	No, they're touching us.
	We've been touched by several people so far.
	Okay.
	So we're just here to keep the peace, make sure.
	Obviously, we just got a few balls from the restaurant, so we got so little.
	Why are we such cluses?
	Can we ask your stance on Palestine?
	Sir, please.
	Please, sir.
	No, they actually started fighting, if anybody.
	But yeah, no, we're not fighting.
	We're peaceful.
	Yeah, you're real peaceful.
	We respect everybody, you know, sir.
	Come on.
	Free Palestine, sir.
	Just you, you are giving us a lecture.
	Man, Free Palestine?
	He just changes his tone a little bit.
	Doesn't this guy need a pounding?
	Imagine a world.
	Go to the next one, 2-2.
	Imagine a world.
	We're asking Israel or Palestine.
	Is this relevant to the United States as Manchester or Manchester United?
	I guess it would be Man City.
	Well done.
	That was great.
	Rod Sterling.
	Thanks.
	I wondered who.
	Get ready to Twilight Zone.
	Should it be the 20, right?
	We're going back to 20?
	Nope.
	22.
	20.
	Now.
	Oh.
	Same guy?
	Yep.
	Same place.
	So he threw a punch first.
	Yep.
	Wow, that was great.
	Oh my God, that guy's got to feel so cool.
	I have a boner right now.
	That guy's got to feel so cool.
	There's another angle 2-3.
	Just a great, great block.
	And then he uses, and this is the best thing in boxing is when you use the momentum from your block to add to your fucking left hook.
	And this dummy, and you know what he does too?
	The guy's disoriented.
	Look, what's he got there?
	A candle or something?
	Look at these dumbasses.
	They're all hiding their faces with a mask.
	It's a great, great outfit.
	Great look.
	The only thing that would make it better is if he had a cigarette in his mouth.
	Yeah.
	Go to 2-3.
	Go to 3-3.
	I can't wait to see this.
	The Albanian mob back.
	Albanian mob.
	So you can, of course.
	Just letting you know our picture Zepp Tyler.
	So we can talk to him at 930, but you do have to.
	Look at him talking a big game with his mask on.
	This is the worst part of social media.
	He hits his phone away.
	And the push.
	Oh, he did the Rufio.
	Yeah, he did the Rufio where you're unconscious, so you push it over like a dead tree.
	Block.
	Cross block.
	And then boom.
	And then the push.
	And so he hits his head on that outdoor heating lamp, too.
	Why does this video stop right when it does?
	I don't know, but we have the aftermath there.
	All right, I'll end it on the thing we skipped earlier that just shows you what this is all about, really.
	And it's a mentally ill black tranny who just wants to yell at white people.
	You fucking joke!
	Fucking Jew.
	That's not what this is all about.
	Don't tell me what's not all about.
	I'm a black-faced woman, so don't tell me nothing about...
	I'm a black trans woman.
	I can say whatever the fuck I want.
	Shut up.
	Stop for a second.
	Is that not a family guy or a South Park?
	I think it's a family guy.
	Where the bartender says something you can't do that.
	And she goes, I'm a trans woman.
	They go, okay, do whatever you want.
	Sorry.
	I forget what it is, but it's a meme.
	But let him go.
	Let him go.
	I don't know what this movement's about.
	It's not about All right, all right, for y'all to say anything to me, y'all wrong, y'all can mind y'all business and keep it pushing.
	The fuck?
	We don't want that representation.
	Okay, well, that's right.
	For the most part, trans are mentally ill gays.
	And they're violent.
	So keep on going.
	Move.
	You're mad because I'm a Jew?
	Or a Jew?
	Are you fucking serious?
	It's in my speech.
	What's on your head?
	A scarf?
	Why do you have a scarf on a baseball?
	Bye.
	Bye, bitch.
	Jump to 4-7.
	We're going off at a bit of a trans tangent here.
	They aren't just men.
	They're mentally ill men.
	And mentally ill men have zero generally control of zero impulse control.
	Trans student had a history of sexual harassment prior to assault.
	Biting attack that left Maine girl concussed with impaired vision.
	So whatever this girl did to disrespect, maybe she misgendered her, maybe she used this man's dead name, and this man is a mentally ill man.
	And what does he do when you Don't pretend he's a girl.
	He beats you up.
	There we go.
	Teachers are just sort of watching.
	Pulled out a big chunk of her hair, too.
	Fucking fuck off that!
	Fucking psycho.
	Keep going down.
	I think they have pictures of her hair pole.
	Biting her.
	Wait, go biting her eye?
	Did that say?
	Where is that?
	Just do a search on biting.
	Straddling her, biting her, and attempting to rip out her hair.
	Successfully ripping out her hair.
	Oh, biting her eye.
	Biting her eye.
	Imagine a world where you could bite somebody's eye.
	Biting?
	Like, that's...
	What are you going to do?
	Bite my eye, bitch?
	I'll fucking bite your eye right now.
	Oh, I'll box your eyes.
	I will.
	Bite them.
	Ow, he bit my eye.
	I've never heard that expression before.
	Biting her eyes.
	I'll bite your eyes.
	That's like chimp behavior.
	That's chimp love.
	Possible.
	Just keep going down.
	Just see that.
	Or maybe that's a different article where they show the chunk of her hair.
	And then this person will get zero charges.
	There they are hanging.
	Keep going down.
	That's the dude who likes to beat the shit out of people.
	There he is.
	There he is.
	Let's misgender him.
	And there's the woman with the bitten eye.
	What the fuck?
	You bit my fucking eye.
	Go to 4-6.
	I was talking to Ryan McGinley recently, and he goes, yeah, I was checking on your podcast once in a while.
	It's funny to see you haven't changed.
	You still hate trans.
	I never thought about trans back when I knew him 20 years ago.
	Is he trans?
	No, he's gay, but like I only bring up trans now because of all this shit.
	Back when they were transivestites, like we had a guy that used to come into our bar lit, and he was just, he was a dude like me, but had gigantic fucking tits.
	But he dressed like a Ramones guy.
	Jean jacket and boots.
	Okay, so they're mentally ill gays, and they have no adrenaline control, and they get violent.
	Mentally ill men get violent.
	That's why you never fuck with a bum.
	I don't care how weak he looks.
	Never tell a bum to fuck off.
	Moby had this tea place in the Lower East Side, and I forget what it was called, Tea Time or Teeny, T E A at New York, teeny.
	And some dude was like, hey man, we got a cafe here.
	You gotta fucking move your shit.
	And the bum was like, I'll sit right here when I want you.
	And he goes, I said, get the fuck out.
	And the bum just went, stuck a fork in his eye.
	They love the eyes, these chimps.
	And it went into the guy's brain, killed him.
	Bums fight every day.
	They have techniques.
	There's something about nothing to lose that really gives you an extra boost.
	And fighting every day.
	Like, these guys are literally fighting for their dinner.
	And they're around at four in the morning when everyone's drunk and looking for a fight.
	Oh, here's that video, sir.
	The same page.
	If you don't look like a girl, get the f ⁇ out of the girl's bathroom.
	I don't think you belong in the girl's bathroom.
	But you wouldn't, my love, you wouldn't know.
	A lot of the issues that we're having is the divide where it's competition, my love.
	Where like we're dating the same men rather than not dating the same men.
	We are, baby.
	Trust me.
	No, we are not.
	We are.
	I don't know about this.
	Yes, we are.
	We are on the same page.
	Okay, so she's a nine and he's a negative one.
	We're dating the same man.
	Like she fucks some gangster dude, and she thinks that, because he's on the DL, that all guys want to fuck it.
	By the way, that's the new hottie that just dropped.
	Arian Wexler.
	Arian.
	4-5.
	They're calling her the hottest Benjamin Buttons, babe.
	Benjamin Buttons, babe, are women who get prettier as they get older.
	Oh.
	Backroom meetings.
	He's been taking them for 20 years as the number one recipient of lobbyist cash.
	The number one recipient of lobbyist cash in the whole country.
	Of all candidates, number one.
	So if you want to talk about backroom meetings...
	Whoever's dating her, just marry her.
	Just put a ring on it.
	Savage takedown was by Tim Sheehee.
	He is challenging the Democrat incumbent senator of Montana, John Tester.
	John Tester is one of those guys who's been in Washington forever.
	He has done everything for the American people.
	I'm seeing an Italian there.
	Like they grew up with three brothers.
	Same area.
	Only girl.
	She has three brothers.
	Have we got everything with the trans there?
	Wasn't there four, seven?
	No.
	Four, six you just did.
	I thought there was one.
	Hold on a sec.
	Sprinkles.
	Muslim sprinkles.
	Gee, I had a tranny that had raped a kid, I think.
	It's not exactly a needle in a haystack.
	I know.
	Well, we used to keep a running list, and I just stopped because it just kept going and going and going.
	Okay, maybe we'll stumble across it eventually.
	But I think we're good for racism, right?
	We drifted into the trans world.
	Let's see what's coming up next.
	Feminism?
	Again?
	Okay.
	I don't know why we're doing feminism.
	I don't know why God wants us to do feminism, Really?
	That's just you.
	I don't have a snub nose like this.
	Well, I can't see the snug nose because the camera's in the way.
	Well, allow me to scoot myself.
	My name is.
	Oh.
	You look like you're very good at Crave Magras, or obviously a more Asian thing, but like one of those martial arts that's not bullshit.
	Yeah.
	Well, thanks.
	I look like if Mark Wahlberg slept with a slant.
	Wow, the more I try to smile, the more weird.
	That's a really interesting thing.
	I just saw an action movie with that guy in it.
	Mark Wahlberg?
	No, the guy that you are there.
	He's a Chinese cop.
	It's in Chinese.
	And this hacker kidnaps...
	Is it called Cyberheist?
	Maybe.
	Or the Takeover.
	Maybe the Takeover?
	Show it.
	It's pretty good.
	No.
	Chinese movie, at least.
	The picture is him fighting this Thai guy in a first-class cabin because the guy was about to escape.
	He's a big fat dude.
	Where'd you watch a Chinese movie at?
	On a plane.
	It's new.
	What did you look up?
	Chinese movie cop.
	Chinese cop action movie and not hacker.
	Online casino.
	Scam.
	Oh.
	That's it.
	Rogue Heroes?
	No.
	Rogue Heroes?
	No.
	No.
	This makes for great TV, doesn't it?
	It doesn't.
	That's right.
	Well, it was good?
	Yeah, it was awesome.
	Doesn't have the non-stop fighting.
	This guy's a big, burly Chinese cop who doesn't know anything about technology, but he has to solve the case because he promised one of the victims' mothers he would.
	And he just beats the shit out of everyone.
	Lots of body shots.
	Geeks it out and then does a body shot.
	But Jim, the other day, this guy, I won't say his name, African-American gentleman.
	We do not get along at all.
	I don't spar with him anymore.
	He gave me a bloody nose, which I know that sounds like I'm a pussy, but you don't punch someone that hard in sparring.
	You're not trying to win.
	And then there's this dude there, this DA, Fred, and a great guy, DEA.
	And I look over and he's taking a knee, which means he got a body shot, which means he broke his ribs, which is like, now I can't sneeze for five weeks.
	Dude, we're practicing here.
	I don't know.
	There's different camps.
	Some people think you gotta practice hardcore if you're ever gonna fight hardcore, but I think sparring is just, Padunk, badunk, badunk, badunk.
	You're not like fucking wham.
	Sounds like something a woman would say.
	Who here identifies as a feminist.
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	He said I was too pretty to fight.
	But I don't know what to do.
	That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
	So Jebediah Beela of Fox News fame seems to have come around.
	When I first met her when I was at Fox, she was pretty slutty.
	She's into sex toys.
	I think she was like fucking some other girls with a strap on and stuff.
	But she seems, I love her, by the way.
	Great gal.
	Great gal.
	But she seems to have come around.
	And here she is schooling a young slut who's a fucking knockout.
	I love that kind of nose and mouth.
	That's Destiny's ex.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I didn't know.
	That's the one that would fuck black dudes and he would sit in a chair crying.
	Yep.
	I don't know if that's a good thing.
	Starling.
	That's a European who comes here and destroys people.
	No natural predators in North America.
	Wow.
	I'm immune to Swedish women.
	Like they look perfect, like if their features are perfect.
	But I see that there's like this weird evil behind it.
	I just hate the European accent and to hear that.
	Wow, what are you doing?
	Are you going to be going to the disco later on for your whole life?
	I wouldn't be able to take it.
	French isn't so bad.
	I could do with the French accent, but like Northern European, Western European, maybe Spain is okay.
	I don't know if I could do Glaswegian.
	You want a fucking blowjob to knu?
	I did.
	Till you opened your mouth.
	Anyway, check this out.
	Do you understand why guys would have a problem with a woman with a high body count, though?
	Do you understand the logic behind it?
	I think it's insecurity.
	That's where it comes from.
	I think it's insecurity.
	That's where it comes from.
	It's like, do they really want to have a woman that is just a virgin?
	Yes.
	Because she's not going to be good and she's going to have no experience.
	There's nothing worse than a very good blowjob.
	Like, you're just like, oh, shit, you know tons of tricks that I've never even experienced before.
	So you know more about sex than me.
	And that's gay.
	That's a gay lifestyle.
	Fucking a different person every night is a homosexual lifestyle and it's a turnoff.
	Ideally, you're both learning about sex together.
	No one watching this is ever going to experience something that pure, but that is the design is the high school sweetheart at 18.
	And you both like figure out anal and oral sex together.
	No matter what the Catholic Church says.
	You'd be good, though.
	That's so boring.
	Isn't that boring?
	That's so boring.
	Women are a canvas.
	We don't want them to be good at shit.
	We'll handle the moves.
	That just sounds transactional to me.
	It just sounds so boring.
	I don't know.
	You're the transactional one, fucking everything that moves.
	You know, destroying your marriage.
	Want to be, you know, head of household and consider themselves leaders and want to provide for their women.
	And they don't find it unattractive that a woman would have inexperience because they feel like what's going to make that experience in the bedroom so powerful is not that she can bounce off the walls or knows all these tricks or Knows all these sexual things, and oh, she looks, oh, look, she's doing something like out of a, you know, that's not what's appealing to them.
	What's appealing is that she's really excited to be there for him.
	She's present, she's loyal, she's committed, and he doesn't need her to be an acrobat, he just needs her to be loyal.
	They knew Jebediah's background.
	If we could see some of the freaky sex she used to get up to, but uh, that's good to see.
	These are Glaswegian girls.
	I actually don't mind them.
	I think they're quite nice sometimes.
	If it's like in Scotland, I'm like, oh, that sounds a bit weird.
	I don't mind it.
	I don't mind it at all.
	That sounds a bit weird.
	Don't worry about him.
	I'm much more of a look at a sideways way of life.
	Like, what if we didn't have walls?
	We'd all be in one big room.
	Spooky.
	Where am I spooky?
	Here's a moron who knocked a bitch up.
	This is a very Canadian thing.
	This guy's not Canadian, but in Canada, my hometown, they're always reinventing the wheel, like polyamory or non-monogamy, or I'm just going to be a random dad.
	Okay.
	The thing that we've been doing predates Christianity, predates agriculture, predates everything, this marriage plan with monogamous, with monogamy.
	But yeah, let's reinvent the wheel.
	Let's see how it goes.
	This is the story of me agreeing to get an older woman pregnant and then her trying to ruin my life.
	When I was 23, I had a one-night stand with a girl from my hometown named Maria.
	We both knew it was nothing more than that, and we didn't speak after her.
	Several months later, I received a text from her saying that she hadn't been lucky in love and she wanted a baby before it was too late.
	Oh, well, she asked if I shouldn't have to bear any responsibility like a sperm donor.
	Well, I considered it and I first thought no, but after some time to think about it, I thought it'd be the right thing to do for someone struggling.
	So we filled out an ironclad agreement and basically I wouldn't be responsible at all.
	A while later, she told me she was ovulating, and then a few weeks after that, she told me she was pregnant and that it worked.
	I went back to California for work, and we didn't speak after that.
	Unbeknownst to me, she contacted my family behind my back, invited them to the baby shower.
	They then began eating dinner immediately.
	As she got to know my parents, my parents started encouraging me to be in the baby's life.
	And once I found out it was a little girl, I thought it was the right thing to do.
	Stop.
	I flew home to be there for the birth.
	Like, can you not see where this is going?
	Speaking of Nazis, what the fuck do you think?
	Why are there 8 billion of us?
	We have instincts.
	Even my cousin, my cousin Glenn, who lives in London, he's Scottish.
	I hadn't seen him for 20 years.
	We go to Keene Steakhouse and we're just like, it's just this bond.
	That's a cousin.
	This is my dad's sister's son.
	Is that your sister's win?
	And we both said, like, this is uncanny.
	We both love the Maud Father store in Camden Town in London.
	We both have been there tons of times.
	Like, it was weird.
	Like, what do the insane clown possesses say?
	His little kid looks just like him.
	It's a mystery.
	Go ahead, you moron, you fucking idiot.
	And I got a tattoo of our daughter's middle name before she was born.
	After our daughter arrived, Maria wanted us to be together and be a family.
	And when I said I didn't want to do that, she wouldn't let me see my daughter.
	My main source of income at the time was the Airbnb that I owned.
	And she said this a few months after she was born.
	I felt bad, so I let her move in for several months, rent-free.
	Once she was in the business.
	What could possibly go wrong?
	I've never done anything to warrant supervised visits, but I agreed to keep the peace.
	I would come home as often as I could to see our daughter.
	And things were usually okay when I was there.
	These are all from her Facebook.
	One Halloween, I didn't want to wear matching costumes with Maria, so she wouldn't let me see my daughter for a while.
	And when our daughter was being baptized, I drove a 14-hour round trip from Nashville to attend.
	Stop.
	Did he make this TikTok for sympathy?
	Because I'm just watching a dodo bird go extinct.
	Like, what the fuck?
	How did you survive this long, you boob?
	He's all like, I just want to make it work.
	So I went over there and we talked all the time.
	I decided they could stay at my house.
	And then my parents told me to be more in the baby's life.
	So I did.
	And then I totally ignored the fact that she's a crazy bitch and I've just fucked up my life.
	Because I didn't want to see Maria the night before.
	She didn't allow me to come to the baptism at all.
	You know what he's leaving up, by the way?
	He's been fucking her on a regular basis.
	I guarantee.
	When he goes back, they fuck.
	He doesn't.
	Oh, no, no, I don't want to.
	And then she blows him.
	He's like, no, all right.
	Soon after this, she served me with child support, saying that our original contract wasn't valid because our daughter didn't have a social security number yet.
	I hear about this with prenups, too.
	When it finally makes it to court, they just go, nah, you were together for 20 years.
	You have money.
	Pay the bitch.
	She took everything I own.
	Everything.
	So I'm not saying don't get married, but I'm saying be careful.
	Because you could get tricked.
	They trick you.
	That's what they do.
	They trick you.
	That's good advice.
	My car.
	Well, at least you still got those testicles in your face.
	Very funny.
	My car.
	I had a Jeddah.
	A 1996 Jeddah.
	It was beautiful.
	Barely put any money into it.
	Ran like a damn drink.
	She took it away.
	Okay?
	Meanwhile, I had already been paid up.
	The alimony was already settled.
	Child support never missed the payment.
	She needs to take my fucking car.
	Okay?
	So that's just to show you.
	There's no limit.
	You look like a Klingon with, or a sort of a Klingon mated with a pair of balls.
	How about I mate your fucking balls?
	I didn't have the time.
	I was living away.
	I ended up paying her $10,000 up front and $7.50 a month.
	I was able to move home soon after that and I began seeing.
	Where to retardville?
	Or regularly.
	He's a dope.
	Everything was going really well until I got We joined the Watchmen and we were fighting crime and things are going really well.
	Why did he blurt his own face?
	Because maybe he's full of shit.
	That doesn't look like him.
	Look at the tattoos.
	He doesn't have the boyfriend or something.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's what it is.
	Even though she had a boyfriend who was regularly around our daughter, she said that my girlfriend couldn't be around our daughter.
	I was able to get our daughter for an afternoon.
	And Maria asked what I was doing.
	I told her that I was with my girlfriend and we were at Lowe's together.
	She freaked out.
	I'd said I'd bring her daughter back to her as soon as we were done.
	They're at Lowe's for lunch.
	That's what he used to eat, buckets of paint.
	Honey, use this.
	Like, he's all surprised that she freaked out when he got a girlfriend.
	This is you reinventing the wheel.
	We had a setup.
	It's called Fall in Love, Have a Baby, Be Married, Be Monogamous.
	You decided, no, I can flip the script and it'll work out great.
	But instead, Maria drove to Lowe's, apparently called my dad, was running up and down the aisle, screaming.
	I don't know what actually happened, but she was freaking out, just blowing up my phone, thinking she was in danger.
	And keep in mind, my girlfriend is a mom as well as a nurse.
	Our daughter was never in any danger.
	When I offered Maria and my girlfriend to get to know each other so they'd be comfortable, you know, my daughter being around, she immediately said no and called my girlfriend a word that rhymes with chore and refused to get to know her.
	Maria then called my girlfriend a word that rhymes with store.
	Post saying that I was a dicky chat and I hadn't seen her daughter in weeks.
	All right, this is getting tedious.
	Here I am.
	I went to my doctor and he said, I never took a breath out of my nose.
	You get what you pay for, you fucking moron.
	What's going on with Sticks and Hammer?
	We've had him on the show before.
	Smart guy, cool look.
	He's kind of got a nerdy group, not a nerdy, nerdy metal kind of a vibe.
	But he's got some domestic abuse thing.
	Now, I got in a lot of trouble for saying this, and I think people misinterpret it.
	every domestic abuse case that I've been intimately familiar with, the guy was innocent.
	People think that I'm trying to say domestic abuse is always bullshit.
	I'm telling you the truth.
	Terry Richardson, Anthony Kumia, Anthony Cumia's brother, I know of about seven dudes that have faced it, and all of them were innocent.
	Maybe I just have a weird sample.
	Maybe that's not.
	I'm just telling you my own personal anecdotal evidence is that it's always been fucking horseshit.
	So I'm dubious when I read about someone I know like Sticks and Hammer slapping the shit out of someone like what was dinner was late.
	I've never seen that.
	And if it happened, I would fight the guy.
	I saw it in Raging Bull with De Niro.
	Oh, did I tell you I had a feeling the other day?
	Yeah, did I say that on the show?
	You did.
	Yeah, his wife was on the show.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I remember now.
	Fuck, I was kind of drunk last night.
	Yeah, it was a while ago.
	It was last night.
	It was 12 hours ago.
	24 hours ago.
	20, 20, 20.
	So, I wonder if we could get him on the show.
	Right now.
	These guys can never say what their side is.
	I wonder.
	Text him.
	I don't have his text.
	I'll DM him.
	I have some random junk news in here I was going to get to.
	Like, birds knew that the hurricane was coming, and they get disoriented by the different air pressure, and they get exhausted trying to escape, and then they die.
	So you know a hurricane's coming when weak birds are falling from the sky.
	How fucking biblical is that?
	Go to 3-7.
	And this is what happened right before the storm.
	Spooky.
	Winds in the east.
	Mist coming in.
	Like something is brewing.
	About to begin.
	How fucking scary would that be?
	You're on a boat, by the way.
	I feel what's to happen.
	All happened.
	Perfect choice of music, too.
	Last night was weird.
	So we saw a little bit of the northern light glow from a distance.
	Yep.
	And then on my drive home, I saw like the airspace for JFK, I guess, was completely backed up or something.
	But there was just like tons of lights in the sky.
	Like airplanes.
	Planes circling around?
	Yeah, but then I saw a plane to the left of those and it was blinking.
	So that's a plane.
	The other ones were like this amber sort of color and they didn't move and they didn't blink.
	And there were like five or six of them just standing still in the sky.
	Like drones?
	What the fuck is that?
	Yeah.
	No, because they would be huge.
	They were like plane size, the same size of the plane that I saw.
	And I even passed my exit just so that way I could just keep looking at them.
	And then they like completely disappeared when I went lower.
	Speaking of your exit, I heard a guy in your neighborhood hanged himself.
	And as I was reading, I was like, please be Ryan, please be Ryan, please be Ryan, please be Ryan.
	It wasn't me.
	It wasn't you.
	And this is a good example of why journalism is dead.
	In the old days, you'd know a cop and you'd get the real story.
	These days, the journalist, he shows up to some ambulance call and he says, what happened here?
	And the guy, the cops go, I'm not going to tell you.
	Why would I give the criminal an upper hand?
	And I have to finish the investigation.
	I don't want anyone spooked.
	So you don't get the story.
	I know cops.
	I got the story.
	So here's the story, as the New York Post says it.
	3.8, a man hanged himself.
	They cut him down.
	By the way, huge fuck up.
	You're not supposed to cut him down.
	It's a crime scene.
	He had a cut on his neck that was opened more by hanging.
	And he wasn't dangling.
	Apparently, when most people hang, their feet are touching the ground for some reason.
	I guess in case they want to stand up, they give themselves an out.
	But Keep going down.
	So he had slits on his wrist and stuff and his neck.
	I think he tried to kill himself.
	He left a suicide note with his roommate.
	And then he tried to slit his wrist and he tried to cut his throat and it didn't work.
	So he hanged himself and then that opened up the neck gash.
	And that's all we know.
	Well.
	It must be something completely irreversible that you're like, whoa, my life is ruined.
	Correct.
	It's much like the video we just saw.
	So NSFW, if you are eating, look away.
	This is fucking gross and you're not going to like it.
	I would just recommend closing your eyes and skipping forward.
	We have pictures of that guy you just saw who hanged himself.
	He wasn't hung.
	That's a thing is hung.
	A person is hanged.
	He hanged himself.
	And the rumor is he got his 14-year-old niece pregnant.
	Does he have an Hispanic name?
	It sounds like a Hispanic thing to do, no offense.
	Should I show the picture?
	No, no.
	Look at his name back in the New York Post.
	Okay.
	I bet he's not a Mick.
	He's not an Irishman.
	No.
	He's not Scottish.
	He's not a Slovak.
	Well, just glancing at the picture.
	Well, tell me the name.
	Carlos Messenger.
	Go back to the New York Post.
	I don't see a name.
	The man.
	Dead man.
	The man.
	Yeah, that's not a good sign.
	I remember seeing his name somewhere, though.
	I think it's Hispanic.
	But anyway, here he is, folks.
	This is the guy who allegedly got his 14-year-old niece pregnant and realized that the dad's going to kill him.
	His brother, I guess?
	NSFW.
	So there he is.
	A lot of blood in the groin area, which is weird.
	And I didn't know this, but when you die, flies cannot wait to get up your nose.
	And it just started feasting on that mucus.
	There's probably tons in his mouth, too.
	Oh, yeah, there are tons in his mouth.
	So that's gross and depressing.
	Should we cleanse our palate with some sprinkles?
	Sprinkles?
	Let's cleanse the palate here.
	That feminism brought us to girls getting raped.
	That brought us to dead bodies with flies in the nose.
	I know this is not...
	We don't have sprinkles here.
	don't You know what?
	I'm changing stop sending me this to sprinkles because stop sending me this is a boring category.
	Oh, look, it ended up on sprinkles.
	What are the odds?
	We're having a lucky Friday here, aren't we?
	Aren't we, Ryan?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Sure are.
	Why are you hesitant?
	Oh, I don't know.
	All right, this guy has the sprinkles.
	He has a great golf hack.
	This is like the Black Flagsong TV party where they're being sarcastic, but you listen to it and you're like, yeah, that would be fun.
	I think I am going to have a TV party.
	So this guy is making a joke.
	And after I watched it and had a good laugh, I was like, I think I'm actually doing that.
	I'm just going to do that.
	Especially if I'm by myself.
	You're a high handicapper like me.
	Then your drivers probably never found a fairway before.
	But what if I told you guys?
	It's not because you're bad.
	Oh, golf.
	You can't hit the driver.
	It's because you're not bad enough.
	Allow me to demonstrate, guys.
	That's me in a second.
	See, guys, what I've done there is used my complete lack of ability, consistently bad ball striking, to my advantage.
	This time, I've found the fairway.
	No, I know what you're thinking.
	James, that's all well and good.
	But you're on the wrong fairway.
	Not only that, but you're going to have to hit an absolutely enormous arcing draw over those trees and you're absolutely miles away from the green.
	But am I?
	Or am I, in fact, 30 yards away from the green on the adjacent path five, ready to get up and down?
	There you have it, guys.
	Sometimes shooting your lowest score just means going off-pieced a little bit.
	Guys, if you're hierarchy.
	That was awesome.
	Some more sprinkles.
	And by the way, for those of you not familiar with the show, sprinkles is what I talk about when there's funny and there's hardworking, funny guys like Burt Kreischer.
	But then there's the magic sprinkles that the Lord, the guy running the show today, allegedly, sprinkles on you, like Louis C.K., Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce.
	They're just magical.
	Jim Downey.
	Go ahead.
	Go ahead.
	And you can keep it.
	Name's Liam.
	I'm guard.
	Can I get a sip of that?
	Nice belt.
	Real leather?
	Respect.
	I'd shake your hand, but I need both for this.
	You gonna eat that?
	No, no.
	You're doing it all wrong.
	You're supposed to hold it like this.
	Jesus Christ, you got a name for that thing?
	I mean, golly, what are you feeding it?
	I'll race you.
	This is the best part about being gay.
	By far.
	Here's two jokes.
	I'm just messing with you.
	Name's Liam.
	Hey, buddy, my doctor says I'm not supposed to lift more than five pounds.
	Can you give me a hand over here?
	I'm kidding.
	Clearly.
	Looks just like my uncle's.
	Don't stop.
	I'm about to finish.
	Jesus Christ.
	You need a spot, big man?
	I'm back here.
	My God, congrats.
	Hey, man, just let you know you got a little splash back on your pants.
	No, I got you, dog.
	Bro code.
	Hey, could you pass me the soap?
	Mine's stuck under this little plastic thing.
	Has it hanging?
	No small unto the left, I see.
	We're twins.
	If you can guess what's in my hand, you can keep it.
	Name's Liam.
	I'm guard.
	This guy's great.
	It's not funny.
	This man is homosexual.
	Oh, sorry.
	Gay's jokes are my favorite type of jokes.
	You know what I do with gay joke?
	I kill the gay jokes.
	I don't know what race this guy is.
	I haven't decided.
	Mongolian.
	Ah.
	Almost Friday, I know I have promoted them way too much.
	It's just interesting watching Almost Friday because you're like, the comedy has left the television.
	It's no longer on TV.
	It's on YouTube.
	This is better than any SNL sketch.
	And the quality of the film is like Hollywood levels.
	Zoom out so people can watch this later.
	It's Almost Friday.
	Please don't send me Almost Friday sketches.
	They have half a million subs.
	I'm familiar with them.
	But this is Secret Shopper.
	It's just a brilliant parody of like dramatic films.
	And this woman works at a yogurt place, a smoothie place, and she finds out there's going to be a secret shopper, like someone from corporate pretending to be a customer.
	And they turn it into this incredibly dramatic, almost action movie.
	It's fucking hilarious.
	Drop the needle anywhere.
	That was crazy.
	Sorry.
	That was crazy.
	Are we good?
	I'm good.
	You're okay?
	Yes.
	Good to go.
	Sorry about that.
	Thank you.
	Sorry.
	Wait, go back a little bit before that?
	Hey, can I order a sw- Can I go through the photos on your phone?
	Just banana?
	Yeah.
	That's do you want?
	She's trying to find out who the secret shopper is.
	She's about to get fired.
	Oh, so they're like secret.
	Is somebody in there?
	Yeah, they've been in there for a while.
	If you're not the secret shopper, open the door.
	Okay.
	Hey!
	Sorry, that's actually what are you doing?
	Ceiling?
	I don't know how to do it.
	Anyway, that's high quality.
	I just, I plugged in there on the off chance you're not familiar with Almost Friday.
	Their shit is just relentless fucking gold.
	Just so much.
	They did one recently where this woman had a great ass, a gat, and they did the, what's his name, the 1950s cartoon with the eyes going boom, we're going and the heart going boom, boom, boom, boom.
	That wolf jaw going, yang.
	Who's that guy again?
	Let me see.
	Horny.
	Not Basil Wolverton.
	Cartoon Wolver.
	Tex Avery.
	They do the Tex Avery cartoons, but then they make it literal and the guy's eyes do shoot out of his head.
	It's fucking awesome.
	Kind of made me miss doing sketches, but Ryan is going to be finding all the sketches I've ever done that have been banned from the internet, and he's going to put them on the site for free.
	That's correct.
	Have you made any progress on that?
	Yeah, there's a bunch uploaded.
	I just wanted that hide from the timeline button because I'm about to dump a bunch of them.
	Well, don't dump them all at once.
	Let's spread them out.
	Okay.
	How many do you have?
	I think like seven.
	And are they high quality?
	All of them except for like baby discipline and stuff.
	That one's small.
	It's like 180.
	Okay, don't put it up if it's totally blurry.
	We can still keep finding it.
	I tried to get the original guys, but they won't speak to me now that I'm a fascist.
	What the fuck?
	This chick is pretty good.
	2-8.
	We've had her before.
	And she does this same character every time.
	But, you know, the Ramones had one song that they just kept repeating, so she's good.
	Never has.
	That whole, like, I need my coffee in the morning.
	Like, I think that whole thing's kind of a myth.
	Never experienced jet lag.
	No, I think it's just like, wake up, be where you are.
	We're in Paris.
	Jet lag's a myth.
	Only need three hours of sleep.
	Yeah.
	Always been like that.
	I always feel like that seven, eight hours thing.
	It's like kind of a myth.
	Never get sick.
	Uh-uh.
	No, been this far without getting COVID.
	You know, I do think the pandemic was sort of a myth.
	My caffeine just doesn't help me.
	Never has.
	I know people like that.
	The not drinking coffee thing is annoying as fuck.
	I got a sprinkles thing that I wanted to show you for a while.
	Okay.
	It's quick.
	Mr. President, Mr. President, what is it?
	Green Goblin is attacking New York City.
	What?
	He's causing mass destruction right now.
	Should we alert Spider-Man?
	No.
	Send $50 billion to Israel right now.
	So I did find a couple of funny SNL sketches, which is very rare.
	It's never live because no one talks like this.
	Hey, Ryan, I think that you should go over to the store at some point and take those pants back because they don't fit you.
	Right.
	Well, I would do that, except sometimes they read the other guy's cue card so they know where their lines are.
	So you can see them going.
	Yeah.
	And that's why it's said this eight million times, but it's so infuriating.
	They get the best improv people in a country of 331 million people.
	They get the most the masters of improv improv is kind of gay.
	It's not my cup of tea, but it is a skill.
	And then they make them read motherfucking cue cards.
	What?
	Well, it's like in baseball.
	You said to the guy, you're going to swing at the first two and then let the next two go, no matter what the pitches are.
	OK, that's going to make for some shitty baseball.
	But anyway, this one I watch and it's kind of good.
	Jonah Hill is dating Adam.
	What's his name?
	Goldberg's Greenberg's dad.
	Adam Rick.
	Hey, dude.
	Hey, man.
	Are you busy right now?
	Can you grab a coffee?
	Zoom out so people can watch this.
	We're not going to watch the whole thing.
	But Jonah Hill starts dating Andy's dad.
	Andy Samberg.
	Andy Samberg.
	That's it.
	And I'm watching and I'm like, wait a minute.
	This is fucking hilarious.
	It's a great concept, too.
	Your buddy starts dating your dad.
	He's that guy.
	And then I see who the dad is.
	It's Jim Downey, who's a conservative, by the way.
	And guess who he is?
	Remember Black Like Me, where Eddie Murphy's a white guy?
	He wrote that.
	He wrote Change Bank.
	He wrote Caveman Lawyer.
	He's the, I award you no points and we're all dumber for having heard that.
	Yeah, we're all dumber for having this dude.
	That's him, too.
	Great fucking guy.
	May God have mercy on your soul.
	We were like, hey, why don't we just go down and do something?
	That really is one of the funniest things.
	I texted him about this.
	I go, I knew something was up when I saw an SNL sketch that's actually funny.
	And he goes, you must believe me.
	Making it funny was never my intention.
	Truth be told, he is one of the most fascinating people I've ever easier extraordinarily physical.
	I mean, take the human.
	Oh my goodness.
	He's using his tongue.
	Like, Lauren Hill contacts Jim Downey once in a while and goes, can you give us some funny?
	And Jim will just write a masterpiece like that.
	And then check at the very end, he throws it back in dude's face.
	How do you guys know Ben?
	Ah, he's my dad.
	No, no.
	You had it.
	He's my dad.
	Andy, I've been meaning to tell you.
	Jonah and I are dating.
	I'm sorry.
	I told him already.
	Blabbermouth?
	I know I'm the worst.
	Hey, Ben.
	Ready to go.
	Andy, Jonah.
	How do you guys know Ben?
	He's my dad.
	Small world.
	We've been f ⁇ ing.
	It was created by Lorne Michaels just as a fuck you to him.
	Him with the Conan Epstein thing is...
	Oh, that was great.
	Yeah.
	Where he pretends he doesn't know who Jeffrey Epstein is.
	Jeffrey Epstein's his friend and he hasn't checked the news lately.
	But what's been happening?
	I forgot what he nicknamed him.
	Jeff.
	Yeah, he killed himself in prison.
	What, Jeff?
	And yeah, they seem exempt from criticism.
	You know, Jeffrey Epstein.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	No, no, let me finish.
	He's talking about all the flawless friends he has that have never done anything wrong.
	Epstein, the New York financier.
	Yes!
	We're talking about the same Jeff Epstein.
	No.
	Yes.
	No.
	Yes.
	What?
	I never heard.
	Oh, it was a big story in the news.
	Huge.
	No.
	Yes.
	For you to say no one ever seen.
	Jeff Epstein.
	Yes.
	Jeff Epstein.
	Jeff Epstein is here.
	Yes.
	He had an island that I've never been to.
	Yeah.
	I'm pretty sure, with respect, if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, I would have heard.
	No, I don't know.
	This is like that Nate Progatzi thing where he convinced his midget friend that he had never heard of Tanya Harding and the whole kneecapping thing with whatever the other victim's name was, Kathleen Sheridan or something.
	And he's like, I'm pretty sure if that happened, there'd be a documentary about it or a made-for-TV movie.
	And he's like, there was!
	But this one was interesting.
	Horny Little Dork.
	When comedy, this is why art is so important, because it reveals so much about society.
	Society.
	So, you and Dylan are coming up on five years, right?
	Yeah.
	Oh, he's such a sweet guy.
	Shannon?
	Yeah.
	Dylan's great.
	It's just that sometimes he's not himself.
	What do you mean?
	Well, everything will be normal, and then he'll, like, catch a glimpse of me getting out of the shower, and he becomes.
	He becomes what?
	A horny little dork.
	I saw your blue bees.
	I have to go to work.
	Stop.
	No, no time for sissy.
	Ty.
	Horny little dork.
	From the masters of horror at Blumhouse Studios comes a terrifying look at what a darkness is.
	You promise you don't do this, Ryan?
	I irritate my wife all sorts of ways.
	I promise you.
	No, but that sex is off the books.
	Are you a horny little dork?
	I haven't.
	Okay, well, I've never done that meaning to actually have it go to a serious thing, but like in public, I'll be like, yeah, I'll do a horny dork for her.
	After 25 years of marriage or whatever I'm at now, I just sort of stare and she'll be like, what?
	And then I'll keep staring.
	And she's like, I have a headache.
	I got to go to the gym.
	And I'll be like, and then walk away mad.
	I like to kiss the neck of my lover.
	Let her know that I'm not in it for me.
	It's about her.
	It's about sharing pleasure.
	A reminder that our union is one body, one flesh.
	It's beautiful.
	Yes.
	It's about much more than this bedtime rowdiness.
	It's about love.
	That was beautiful.
	Anyway, scroll through that.
	They all have the horny little dork problems.
	I'm in the middle of a workout.
	It will only be about 10 minutes, Millie.
	Stop talking like a phone.
	Mitch does a robot.
	Bleep blah.
	No bra detected.
	Wiener status.
	Half job.
	Bleed bleh.
	What?
	So this is what's going on.
	It's a joke.
	It's funny.
	It's a good sketch, by the way.
	We talked about this before.
	Women are on birth control.
	Birth control makes you think that you're pregnant.
	When you're pregnant, you want a man around to protect you that's not going to fuck you like a brother.
	So you end up with a beta male.
	Like I believe this happened with the Huffington Pots Andy Campbell and his British dead ovaries wife.
	She went off birth control after they got married and then she realized that she married her brother.
	And these women talk, they then become repulsed by the guy they hired.
	They got.
	And this is a real phenomenon.
	And it's women getting off birth control.
	And they talk about how he smells different.
	And the reason they're making this a comedy sketch is they assume it's across the board.
	No, this is a phenomenon where women are marrying guys they're not attracted to.
	And when they go off their drugs, it hits them.
	Maybe that's why the divorce rate is still so bad.
	It's not as bad as boomers, but it's still pretty bad.
	So that's a fascinating foray into this bizarre chemical weapon that we are using inadvertently or maybe purposefully to destroy marriage and wreck love.
	Speaking of sprinkles, the Muslims are often great at making us laugh.
	Here is Muslim medicine.
	And they're not trying to be funny, but they are.
	You have to urinate, and after you finish urinating, without squeezing or contracting your muscles or touching your private part, if nothing comes out, overwhelm it with water, sprinkle water inside your underwear, lift up your trousers and move on.
	Whatever feeling you get that, oh, I must have dropped something, something must have come out, ignore it.
	And inshallah, in four to five days, this feeling would go away.
	And all of your prayers are valid.
	And these are all negligible, inshallah.
	You have to...
	That's the worst of being an old drunk is having, no matter how you shake your peg, the last weed drop runs down your leg.
	This guy is advocating for making it feel like you just pissed your pants.
	You sprinkle water on your dick after you're done pissing.
	Pretty smart.
	So he doesn't drink, obviously, if he's a devout Muslim.
	So it's the worst of both worlds.
	Being a drunk without the buzz.
	And then I thought this was funny.
	It was how to deal with a knife-toting Muslim if you're in Germany.
	You obviously do what everyone should do, which is obviously this.
	Look, she can't stab him.
	Best of luck with that, Klaus.
	All right, very long episode here.
	And we're supposed to make the free episodes.
	We only do it free for the first half hour.
	But for fun, I thought let's just do a big long one.
	And let's see what God chooses for the next subject.
	You ready, Rye Guy?
	Yeah.
	you you you you Thank you.
	Kamala Harris.
	We used to call this my pet Biden, but Biden was told to leave by Barack Obama, so he left.
	Probably was threatened with some child molestation footage that was going to destroy him anyway.
	So let's do Hoctua Harris.
	It's time for...
	Hot to the heavens...
	Thank you.
	This is going around.
	Anthony had this on his show.
	By the way, if you are not subscribed to Compound Censored, go to censored.tv now and sign up using promo code Gavin.
	You get Anthony Kumia.
	He merged with us.
	So we are both co-owners of this new site.
	That's why it has such a weird name, Compound Censored.
	It's Compound Media and Censored.tv merging.
	He does a show every day.
	Well, Monday to Thursday.
	It's my cup of joe.
	While I'm getting ready, styling my hair and brushing my teeth, I put on Ant in the morning.
	And it's fucking hilarious.
	So he already featured this, but we have to show it.
	As I keep explaining, this show is for your entertainment.
	It's to make you feel sane in a world gone mad.
	It's also to try to help Trump get re-elected.
	I'm not going to lie about that.
	I think that this is the last real election.
	And if Kamala wins, this country and the Western world subsequently are doomed.
	So that's why it exists.
	But it's also a time capsule.
	And, you know, I want my kids to have these terabytes after I'm gone.
	And I want them to see what life was like in 2024.
	And that includes this stupid bitch trying to use a shovel.
	Yep.
	Look at her go.
	Look how close her hands are.
	It's a lever, my dear.
	He's pretty bad too, but at least he gets the concept.
	But she doesn't understand how a shovel works.
	Imagine having never used a shovel ever.
	You know what they're really comfortable at doing?
	What?
	Handing off their shit to the help without acknowledging them at all.
	That was done with dexterity.
	Look at this ease.
	Please get this out of here, please.
	That was pro.
	By the way, you know how my tattoo got infected?
	I had to take antibiotics?
	I just put this Aquaphor itch relief on it, and it's burning.
	Oof.
	This is the shit that gave me my infection.
	That means you know that's how it works.
	Yeah, don't.
	I don't want to get sued, but that's been my experience.
	I feel it hot now.
	You know what's funny?
	I sent you a video.
	I was watching.
	You fuckers, you baby monsters told me to watch Bad Monkey with Vince Vaughn.
	I watched the first episode.
	It's okay.
	Very acty.
	I hate when I'm watching a show and I can see the script.
	Vince Vaughn is really good at not making you think of the script, but everyone else overacts.
	There's a lot of blackting in it.
	But there was a scene where they're at this dead guy's funeral, and I'm looking at the extras in the background shoveling dirt, and I finally saw who taught Kamala Harris how to use a shovel.
	Now, I texted this to you separately, Ryan, and you can tell the editors tried to cut it out as much as possible, but it's there.
	Just go full screen and take me out of this because I narrate it.
	So some baby monster told me to watch this show, Bad Monkey.
	It's very active, but look at this guy shoveling.
	Well, there is no case unless it's a case of a case.
	It's Kamala.
	That's good shoveling.
	That's the one who shoveled before.
	My dad.
	But what is happening here?
	100%?
	He murdered my father.
	What is happening there?
	What the fuck?
	You're Mexican.
	You never touched a shovel before?
	I haven't talked to that asshole over here.
	Are you from Barcelona?
	Look at that.
	Thanks.
	They got the wrong kind of Spanish guy.
	fucking hilarious.
	What am I doing here?
	What am I doing?
	Sorry, folks.
	Camilla.
	Oh, yeah.
	So she did Call Her Daddy, which is just, it's Jebediah when she was a porn star.
	No, she wasn't a porn star.
	When she was a horny broad.
	It's just disgusting.
	They talk about blowjobs and she's childless.
	She's really, Call Her Daddy is not benign.
	I think it's really bad for society.
	I'm not a prude, but just like Sex in the City, when you constantly promote being a dumb whore who doesn't, who is more interested in threesomes than marriage, you end up drying out ovaries.
	And that's genocide.
	Sex in the city prevented the birth of millions of babies.
	Sex in the city killed more babies than abortion.
	And Call Her Daddy is doing the same shit.
	But luckily, there's some sane, funny broads out there who have the sprinkles.
	And this was really well done.
	I'm kind of ruining it with that setup.
	But anyway, here she is on Call Herb.
	I wanted to have you here today to talk about your positions, not only in politics, but also in the bedroom.
	Oh my God.
	Thank you, Alex.
	I'm so happy to be here.
	I love Colorado.
	Do you know what the strongest weapon a woman has in this world?
	The Gluckluck 9000.
	Their voice.
	But I do carry a Glock.
	I want to talk f ⁇ ing.
	To let the daddy gang know, I relate to you.
	You know, I deal with the same problems you deal with.
	You know, we're all horny girl bosses, just trying to get to the top, you know.
	And being middle class, are you in to bondage?
	Oh my God, Alex.
	You know, when I was a prosecutor, I had a lot of people.
	So perfect in the hands of the business.
	Let's talk Donald Trump.
	Let me be clear.
	You know, Donald Trump is neither mindful nor demure nor brat.
	Okay, when I'm elected.
	That's a real line.
	They talk about demure like it's a good thing.
	Who uses the word demure?
	When I think of demure, I don't know.
	I think of lingerie or something.
	It's such a gay word.
	Demure.
	Yeah, I know what I saw it in.
	It was in a, I think it's in our cop emails.
	It would be tough to find, but it's this super gay cop propaganda video from some, I don't know, Arizona sheriff.
	And they talk about how when I approach a situation, I am calm, cool, and collected, always demure.
	And they have like seven different cops doing it.
	We don't have to find it.
	just explained it.
	But what a weird...
	It means like coy and reserved, modest, and shy, typically used of a woman.
	Yeah.
	It's like a sexy girl going, hee-hee hee.
	Do you do any female imitations?
	No, not really.
	You should work on a Kamala Harris.
	It looks attainable.
	Okay.
	Let me see Uh Uh Well, we have to do.
	Okay.
	That sounds Jewish.
	This one's going around.
	I've been sent this a thousand times, but we've got to put it in the time capsule.
	Men being man enough.
	And you can tell they're all beta males, too, especially the fat Hispanic.
	But these are all tough guys.
	I got it.
	Resizing, showing.
	I'm a man.
	No, you're not.
	I'm a man.
	Yes, you are.
	Yes, you are.
	I'm a man enough.
	No, you're not.
	No, you're not.
	Barrelproof bourbon.
	Meat.
	Cook my steak rare.
	Why are you sitting like that?
	Yeah, why are you sitting like a hot chick?
	And why are you wearing an like that looks like a Ken doll's shirt?
	That is literally a third grader school photo stance.
	What is with your hat, too?
	You look like a penis.
	You're a dickhead.
	Is he sitting on his barbecue?
	It's a tailgate.
	Oh, oh, I see.
	Yeah, with some hay on it.
	Yeah, farmers don't wear those kind of fucking gross Costco shirts that are all flimsy.
	The only thing worse than that shirt is when a sweatshirt is that material and the hood is all thin and soft.
	Yuck.
	What's with the straw behind your ass, homeboy?
	You looking like the scarecrow sharded and shit.
	Yeah.
	Man enough to deadlift 500, then braid the out of my daughter's hair.
	You think I'm afraid to rebuild a carburetor?
	I eat carburetors for breakfast.
	Yeah, that's not a good thing.
	You're not supposed to do that.
	Ain't afraid of bears?
	That's what bear hugs are for.
	You should be scared of brown bears, but yeah, black bears are just pests.
	You can kick them in the head.
	I'm not afraid of.
	Oh, you spore.
	I'm not afraid of women.
	I'm not afraid of women.
	They want to control their bodies.
	I say, go for it.
	They want to use IV.
	How many times have you heard a biker say that?
	Hey, man, you want to control your body?
	I say, yeah, of course you're pro-choice.
	You fuck sluts all day.
	We have to start a family?
	I'm not afraid of families.
	They want to be childless cat lady.
	I'm not afraid of families.
	Are we afraid of families?
	You are afraid of families, by the way, DNC, radical left.
	How many articles can we pull up saying that kids are a burden and they're bad for society?
	They're bad for the environment.
	It's neglectful.
	It's harmful.
	It's negligent to breed because our population is so high.
	How many times have you heard that retarded argument?
	That's a war on family.
	What is welfare?
	Shattered the black family.
	It's a war on family.
	If you have a picture, say the front cover of Time was an all-white family by a fireplace during Christmas, you know mad people would get would be considered racist.
	Can't you want?
	Woman wants to be president?
	Well, I hope she has the guts to look me right in the eye and accept my post and endorse me.
	Because I'm man enough to support women.
	Man enough to know what kind of donuts I like.
	Man enough to admit I'm lost even when I refuse to ask for directions.
	Man enough to not ban young women from reading little ones or one of those pants books that the sisters like.
	Wait, I'm enough to read.
	Did you know that?
	That we want to ban the sisterhood of the traveling pants.
	I don't recall that being an issue.
	We want to ban Genderqueer, which is a graphic novel that depicts various oral sex techniques, and we don't want prepubescent children to read those.
	I apologize.
	I guess I'm a scaredy cat.
	The raw dog of flight.
	It sucked.
	Not worth it.
	I'm man enough to be emotional in front of my wife.
	In front of my kids.
	In front of my horse.
	I'm man enough to tell you that I cry at love actually.
	Goodwill hunting.
	Stop, stop.
	You blew it.
	You were trying to appeal to regular guys because you know you already have the female vote.
	And then you say you cried at love actually.
	Well, if I was on the fence, I'm out now to tell you that I cry at love actually.
	Goodwill hunting.
	Westside story.
	And Predator.
	And I'm sick of so-called and Predator.
	You cried at a musical?
	And Predator's a happy action movie.
	They get the guy at the end.
	Called men domineering, belittling, and controlling women just so they can feel more powerful.
	That's not how my mama raised me.
	I love women.
	I love women who support their families.
	Women who decide not to have families.
	Women who take charge.
	And I'm men who are.
	If you find some actual farmers who are Democrats, I guess they wouldn't be good actors.
	So that's unbelievably embarrassing.
	I can't believe how bad they are at their job.
	But they are retarded.
	I know a lot of you think it's all a big plan.
	It's run by Klaus Schwab.
	And I tend to not give them that much credit.
	I think they're fucking retarded.
	Look at the level of retardation they are capable of in one day.
	This is a feat.
	Click on those picture by picture here.
	So, picture by picture.
	Biden tells Trump to get a life, man.
	Help these people.
	President Trump visited North Carolina and Georgia and raised millions of dollars for the victims, even though he is not the one currently in charge of the government.
	You have Trump did all this.
	And Biden tells him to get a life and help these people.
	Then we have the Jewish Greek man, Maorkis, who says hate speech and deplorable speech is ruining hurricane recovery efforts.
	We're unable to get you food because you're a MAGA guy.
	Hate speech.
	Tim Wall's wife is spending her time on the campaign trail reading gay books to kids about gay dads taking care of their cats, in case you were wondering.
	And finally, Corine Jean-Pierre is asked, she refuses to comment on this, but she's asked, zoom out, I can't read it.
	Does the administration believe there was adequate vetting considering the Afghan national they imported into the country was plotting a terrorist attack and was a security guard for the CIA?
	Corine does what she does best, and that's avoid the question.
	That's a day.
	Here's another raging example of their retardation.
	And it's the end of the show.
	Oh, no, almost the end of the show.
	One more after this.
	what the living fuck is this By the way, they're both smoke shows.
	So we were making fun of Kamala because she talked about eating a bag of Doritos.
	And so I guess they're owning that by loving Doritos.
	Okay, I get that.
	If it was just Whitmer eating Doritos, right?
	Then I'd get it.
	And she was like, these are delicious.
	I'd get that bit.
	But I don't get the S ⁇ M subservient les.
	I think it's like a fake communion.
	Oh, right.
	They're mocking communion.
	But you don't get down on your knees.
	I do, yeah.
	We don't.
	The kneeler.
	It depends on what...
	Yeah.
	Some people receive in the hand, and some people receive with Eucharistic ministers.
	Ours is not that.
	We have a kneeler, like a rail?
	What is it called?
	Oh, right.
	What do you say?
	Do you say, God bless?
	We don't say anything for the Latin Rite.
	In the Novus Order, you say, Amen.
	Amen.
	I'm a real man.
	I like sacrilege and seed oils in my administration.
	So is she saying, fuck you, Catholics?
	I think they're just like, I don't know, maybe the symbolism of receiving the...
	It's a fuck you to Catholics.
	I don't know if they...
	So they're saying we have a new religion now, and it's Kamala.
	But outside of being a Catholic and being offended, that just seems like a terrible strategy to mock one of the most popular religions in the country.
	Like, don't you want Catholics?
	Irish Catholics fucking love the Dems.
	So you have a card there you're just taking a crap on.
	It seems like you might be referring to a conspiracy theory or misinformation regarding Whitmare.
	There have been various unfounded claims and controversies around her, particularly during the pandemic, if you have an aspect.
	Okay, thanks for helping, Robots.
	You did a good job, Robots.
	Last thing, speaking of this administration, if you sign up to the Tucker Network, it's $6 a month.
	I'm giving it free promo here.
	You could try it and then quit.
	But one of the things you get when you sign up is this cool new movie that James O'Keefe just put out yesterday about the border.
	And he's a real journalist, which means he doesn't just Google shit.
	He actually goes down there and examines it.
	And he went to the border with a Mexican-looking dude.
	The guy got, not only did he get free American citizenship right away, but he was able to sign up just random people like Gavin McInnes, Ryan Rivera.
	We get citizenship.
	Boom.
	We're not even there.
	And he signs us up on a form.
	Are you going to be clicking on this?
	Yeah.
	I bet I can give him my name.
	At St. Paul's Episcopal Church, affiliated with an NGO called La Hornada.
	An immigrant can claim they were homeless.
	And if they could get proof they had resided somewhere, like a homeless shelter for 15 days, they could receive New York residency documents.
	If I pay for my friends, can I get how far could we push the envelope?
	The workers at La Hornada were asked if we could procure residency for people who weren't even there.
	Okay.
	So they're going to be the letter for them.
	Okay.
	Period.
	We wrote down four names, including yours truly.
	Okay, what's we think piece?
	Okay, thank you.
	For how much?
	40.
	40 bucks.
	Four fingers.
	Here's a cleaver.
	Cool way to get a fake ID.
	You know?
	That's why this is the last election.
	If we don't have borders, we don't have a country.
	If we don't have elections, we don't have a democracy.
	The DNC is attacking both of those things.
	And then you just cease to be.
	A man without a job is not a man.
	A country without a border is not a country.
	A democracy without elections is no longer a democracy.
	It is a bizarre globalist cesspool dictatorship run by retards.
	And that's going to do irrevocable damage that we cannot come back from.
	So it's all in or nothing.
	You go the Elon Musk route and jump in with both feet or you lose this country.
	And we are the spearhead of the West.
	Without us at the helm, the entire Western world begins to collapse.
	We are the place that people want to get to.
	And if there's nowhere to go, then you're stuck in China.
	You're stuck in Russia.
	You're stuck in hell.
	We're supposed to be the goal to legally immigrate to or just legally do business with.
	I mean, 80% of Canada's economy is contingent on American business.
	If America's down the hole, then Canada has no one to sell lumber to and then Canada's toast.
	And so it goes until we're all fucking Cuba.
	I don't want to be Cuban.
	It sucks there.
	All right, Ryan, I was going to get to the mailbag unless you want to add any sort of last-minute things.
	Look, they say that Kamala's over.
	Dems Panic as Cam falters and Trump pulls ahead.
	I think we got this, boys.
	I'm ahead.
	Okay.
	Ryan, shut up.
	You don't have a damn.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Seriously, Ryan, fuck you.
	It says.
	I was watching Tuesday's episode today and got to the state trooper part while I was watching it.
	I was eating my spaghetti due to you being a complete and actual retard.
	I laughed the hardest I've laughed since the Marty spit take about salt.
	Does he mean Matty?
	Salt.
	It started choking on my own spaghetti.
	I coughed it up all over my keyboard, so now I have spaghetti in my sinus and a buttery keyboard.
	That legitimately was one of the funniest bits I've seen on the show in a long ass time, he says.
	Spaghetti in my sinus.
	For those of you not familiar with the show, this gentleman is referring to Ryan.
	We were mocking the black women who were suing the state troopers for the test being too hard, and they won $2.7 million.
	We looked up the test.
	It was incredibly easy.
	But Ryan took about 30 minutes to get one of the multiple choice questions correct.
	Now, I showed on, or Eric Adams showed on his show, Celebrity Mailbag, that Anthony had a little bit of trouble with the same thing, more of the reading comprehension than the math.
	Well, it is, in your defense, it is fucking weird doing math when a camera's pointing at you.
	That's true.
	And remembering names is also really weird.
	You'll forget like Robert De Niro.
	You'll be like, Italian guy, gay dad, theater kid.
	You're going to show Anthony fucking it up?
	Did you see this?
	I think I fucked it up too.
	Problem.
	Go back.
	Let's see.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	We don't have to show that.
	We get it.
	He got it wrong.
	Hi, Gavin.
	I'm Justin.
	I don't know about white boy Tom.
	I just blah, blah, blah.
	First off, I don't respect you enough to properly capitalize or punctuate my sentences.
	Your beard is terrible.
	You look like you truly believe 1912 was the best year in human history.
	Sorry.
	Something else happened there, laughed.
	You are a complete faggot, and the crazy thing is, I'm not a liberal.
	I'm on your side.
	You give a terrible reputation to conservatives everywhere, and I wish you and Ben Shapiro would just enter a homosexual relationship already.
	I hope, and I'm sure, that you're living a good life, but I can't spare any sympathy for you, you hipster-bearded little man, fucking faggot.
	What the frick?
	I would be extremely delighted if I found out you killed yourself, and I'm completely unbothered by any litigation that may come from me suggesting you kill yourself, therefore I suggest you kill yourself.
	The world would be a little less gay without you, Gavin.
	Why'd you name the proud boys that anyway?
	I bet you're full of pride, huh?
	Faggot.
	Best wishes.
	Please kill yourself.
	That wasn't nice at all.
	What are you doing?
	need the computer for the mailbag yes We need the computer for the mailbag.
	Or I could read the...
	I'll read them.
	Let's see.
	Josh writes in.
	Loved the cops episode.
	I had a question on the legality of traveling through different states with illegal substances.
	Do they charge you based on the origin of the drug, or do they charge you with the state that you're in?
	Good question.
	We don't have the cops here today, but Gavin.
	Shows over here.
	Show us over here again.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Were you like erecting yourself?
	Like, were you getting the vertebras erect?
	Yeah, I was getting the vertebras erect.
	You are five foot five and a half.
	Okay, good.
	That is short as it can be.
	Shortest and.
	It's the shortest thing in the world.
	Barely alive.

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