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Oct. 11, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:50:59

S6E39 - THANKS FOR CLEANING, POLACK

In Gavin's last episode ever he bullies God into discussing Turkish dark wave, the Mets, the myth of imminent robots, his ACTUAL height, the anti-white origins of anti-Semitism, a brilliant golf hack, Jim Downey, feminist whore genocide, white guys for Kamala, violent trannies, Arynne Wexler, and finally the meanest letter ever sent to anyone, ever.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	In this episode of Get Off My Lawn, we're going to take a look at the new lawn mower.
	Let's get started.
	you Waiting for some vocals.
	I think mine were better than fucking Nosferatu over there.
	Well, I think they're going for that.
	They're going for Bauhaus, Turkish dark wave band called Inziva.
	And that was She Passed Away, spelled P-A-S-T. I don't know if that's a typo.
	If I was on Twitter, I would explain this better be a pun or something because it's P-A-S-S-E-D. Don't let me back on Twitter.
	I'm just gonna be a grammar Nazi.
	You're right that I'm a Nazi, but you got the wrong thing I'm a Nazi about.
	Spelling. I'm a phonics fascist.
	I'm a grammar Nazi. Yeah, I'm gonna correct six million errors.
	Today is the free episode of Get Off My Lawn.
	We usually have God conduct these episodes.
	We spin a wheel and God decides what subjects we'll cover.
	So in a sense, we're the only internet network that has God as a contributor.
	You know, some people have Joe Rogan, some people have Matt Walsh.
	We have God. Speaking of God, today's episode is brought to you by Purple Works Nutrition, a pre-workout that I take every day I work out.
	Unfortunately, I was heavily influenced by Big John last night, who got me wasted here at the studio after the show, and I was too drunk to go to the gym today.
	So I didn't take Purple Works.
	Purple Works makes you go to the gym when you don't want to, and I didn't want to.
	Plus, I'm sore from yesterday's workout, so I don't feel that bad.
	But, if you're not totally destroyed and hungover, then take Purple Works, especially their new What's it called?
	Invictus? The purple stuff?
	Invictus. That's the stuff I take.
	I've moved on from the normal brand to the Invictus.
	I don't have it here to show you because it's in my top drawer.
	Sorry, my top thing in the pantry, whatever.
	Invictus. And if you use promo code GAVIN, you get 15% off.
	My body is an attestment to how well this works.
	You go, but Gavin, you're not muscular.
	Dude, if you looked at my body when I was in my 20s, it looks like Grover.
	I'm a pregnant teen with spaghetti arms.
	Like the worst of all worlds, a skinny fat guy.
	And now I'm just a moderately chubby guy with some sort of definition.
	Nothing fancy, but light years from what I'm supposed to be.
	So purple works, nutrition works.
	Speaking of terrible bodies, this is a very exciting time for me as a Mets fan.
	We don't know who we're playing Sunday, but I'm very moneyball when it comes to baseball.
	I don't expect to win the World Series.
	I think that happened in 1986, so statistically it's looking pretty low.
	But we'll find out this Sunday.
	I'm very happy with where we are right now.
	If we lose every game from now on, I'm still fucking dancing.
	And it's all because of Grimace.
	Grimace threw the first pitch months ago now, I think.
	And it totally changed everything.
	And that's why on the 7 train, after, I think it was Wednesday's game, Tuesday's game, the real Grimace, not someone in a costume, actual Grimace, showed up.
	To a Mets game and got on the 7 train.
	The 7 train is the train everyone takes after a game.
	And look how fucking awesome this is.
	What a greeting he gets.
	Hehehehe.
	That's the real Grimace.
	He's a Mets fan.
	They're all hugging him and dancing.
	Grimace! Grimace!
	Grimace! Grimace!
	Oh man, I was at the Monday game.
	It was exciting. Everyone was screaming obscenities at Phillies fans, and I think that's why we won.
	We were so mean. Check out this cool Mets hat I just bought.
	It's a Proud Boys Mets hat made of black corduroy.
	You probably can't see the texture on your screen, but that's pretty cool.
	Proud of your boy. We can see it.
	Can you? Yeah, looks cool.
	We'll get to the God Wheel shortly, but there's some topical things I have to cover, like Fucking robots.
	It's my biggest pet peeve is people thinking that robots are a thing.
	They are not a thing.
	Furthermore, they will never be a thing.
	All right? There's never going to be a fucking robot in your house serving you a beer and answering questions.
	It might be able to do 32 times 36, but it will never say, that is an interesting question.
	As you know, I have problems with both humor and love, so this is not my area of expertise.
	But allow me to try.
	Why did the chicken fuck off?
	So people have been sending me this all fucking day.
	Elon Musk showcased his new robots.
	Soon every household will have these.
	And we've made a lot of progress.
	So you're going to install AI and chat GPT into it, and then I'm going to ask it questions, and it's also going to make me a strawberry margarita.
	You know who's going to do that a lot cheaper?
	A turd world illegal alien.
	Those will always exist.
	Humans will always be cheaper than this.
	And the more wealthy we get, the more fucking illegals we'll have mowing our lawns.
	I'm not happy about it, by the way.
	I'm not saying this is good. But the idea that there won't always be slaves available.
	Slavery wasn't abolished, by the way.
	We just moved the goalposts.
	And now we have Manuela in our home, the house N, and we pretend that she's part of our family, although we do discipline her and threaten to fire her all the time.
	Be your friend.
	Shut the fuck up.
	I hate when rich people have a live-in maid or nanny or au pair and they say, she's part of our family.
	You can't fire your sibling, you shitheads.
	I love diversity.
	So many different foods.
	You can have Somali food one night, a burrito the next night.
	You have a problem with illegal aliens, what, you hate tacos?
	Like, they're always talking about people who serve them.
	I would hate to have a servant.
	I'd hate to have a slave.
	Hello, master. Anything else I could do?
	I don't fucking know.
	The cotton season's only a couple months.
	I guess, like, clean up the garage?
	Okay, I'm done. What?
	That was like two hours.
	Yeah, it wasn't that dirty.
	You already had me clean it. Oh, for fuck's sake.
	I remember having interns at Vice.
	And it was more work to have them because you have to come up with stuff.
	I guess alphabetize all that shit.
	Here he is. Here's a robot fucking...
	Oh.
	Is that armor? No.
	It's robotics. Okay.
	Well, that's what's great about this show.
	I'll be very sure about something, and then I'll be corrected by a robot who works here.
	I produce the show. I can do all sorts of things with my hands, with my chest.
	A little bit of the uncanny valley with your face, though.
	It's not a human face.
	It's not a Puerto Rican face.
	It's not a Japanese face.
	Those are humans. It just looks like a weird retard.
	You're describing human races.
	Yeah, but this combination is uncanny.
	It's not. Uncannily handsome.
	Do one five.
	People are like, whoa, I'm scared.
	This is freaking me out. Are you freaked out?
	Yeah, I'm freaked out.
	I believe in science fiction movies.
	What a great job he's doing, by the way.
	Thick plastic cups that won't break.
	And I'm pouring you 60% of a beer.
	Listen to the robot.
	Oh, appreciate it.
	435.
	Alright, everybody do it.
	Bye!
	How's everybody doing?
	How are you doing?
	Obviously a remote mic.
	I love the change.
	Oh, yeah. It's just a guy.
	How's everybody doing?
	I was really impressed by their AI, how natural it sounded, but yeah.
	It's just a fucking guy. It's a guy.
	A watermelon? Yeah.
	Science fiction. Sure.
	That speech is more advanced than the actual robotics itself.
	I'm embarrassed for you if you think that robots are going to be a thing.
	That means you watch science fiction and go, one day, man, the Terminator is going to be real, fuck.
	That movie where Chris Pratt was on a ship and he's best friends with the bartender who has no legs.
	He's a robot. And he goes to the bar and talks to the fucking bartender.
	That's a fictional movie, you boob.
	What, do you believe in wrestling, too?
	Speaking of science fiction, this is not exactly breaking news, but I just found this out.
	Did you know the fifth element is stolen frame by frame from heavy metal?
	Heavy metal originated in France, where they are into comics now.
	They call it over there.
	It's a really cool regular magazine.
	They would have sci-fi comic books.
	Mobius and Milo Manara and Libertoir.
	Really cool comics.
	And then they became so big, they moved to the States, became heavy metal.
	I think Metal Hurlant is like burning metal or something.
	And then they eventually made a movie.
	This was, like, the late 70s, early 80s.
	When they were around. I had a subscription as a kid.
	And, uh...
	The Fifth Element is not inspired by the cartoon Heavy Metal.
	It's the exact same fucking movie!
	Like, think of, you know, they do those storyboards?
	They just use Heavy Metal as a storyboard.
	Is that legal?
	I saw a Razor Fist post on X that said that James Cameron's movies are all stolen ideas, too.
	Yeah, well, the Avatar was Fern Gully.
	Right. And then he goes on to say that Terminator was...
	I forgot what that one was, but all of them.
	Like, all the movies. I guess this is legal.
	Like, right down in the taxi cab, and then the mugger goes to rob him, and he zaps the guy and steals his gun and throws it into his big pile of guns.
	That seems wrong. Shouldn't someone be getting sued?
	Look at that. The only difference is Fifth Element had that, uh, what was it, Dior or, uh, Jean-Paul Gaultier, some famous fashion guy doing all the outfits?
	Okay. Anyway.
	Also, in important news, I keep getting these people insisting that I'm 5'9".
	That is so gay.
	It's like when girls go, yo, your little tiny dick, it's a liberal thing, a white liberal thing, where women, they talk about your tiny dick.
	Like, anyone gives a shit if you have a tiny dick.
	Like, that's what you do when you're courting.
	I've been married for a long time.
	Anyway, I'm going to measure myself and settle this once and for all.
	Ready? Let me get my boots off here.
	Get your boots off? Ryan, use your phone and then also use that main, the big camera, and we will settle this.
	Camera three. Yeah. All right.
	All right. You get the measuring tape?
	Yes. So, you know how to do this, right?
	You take a piece of cardboard.
	Well here, I got cardboard over here.
	Take a piece of cardboard and put it on top of my head and then you mark on the wall.
	Mark on the wall.
	You'll be doing this with your kids quite a bit.
	I've done it already, yeah.
	We have a height wall. One time I had this Polish maid come by in my apartment.
	She's like, oh, what a total mess.
	And she washed it off.
	Holy smokes.
	Like all three kids gone.
	Wow. Thanks for cleaning, Polak.
	So grab that pen.
	That's the title of the episode.
	Thanks for cleaning, Polak.
	And then... Make sure people can see that my heel is here.
	Right. Okay, I'll do the widest.
	And then make sure this cardboard is exactly parallel to the ground.
	It is. I'm going to go under it, if that's okay.
	Yeah, that's what you do. Of course that's what you do, moron.
	Otherwise we'd be sneaking in.
	You'd be adding the cardboard.
	Yes. Okay, bam. Okay, so you got the line?
	I do. Okay, now where's the measuring tape?
	In my hoodie pocket.
	Okay. This is all...
	Okay, so I'm gonna go down to the bottom.
	You can see that, right? Yes.
	I'm not cheating. I'm putting the cap back on the pen.
	5'10 and a half.
	To the fucking decimal place.
	Oh yeah, that's pretty clean. And now, I'll hold it there.
	And that's actually under the smallest smidge.
	Go down, go down.
	So they see there's no, like, moving the measuring tape.
	Let's do a full this angle.
	So this is all in one shot here.
	Do you wanna go back? So that's the bottom.
	No funny business. You fucking adolescent Zoomer morons.
	And why do you care? Why would I lie?
	It's like penis size.
	I'm sure it's important when you're single and courting ladies.
	I've been married for fucking a quarter of a century.
	You think I'm gonna... Why would I lie?
	Faggots. And another thing.
	With penis size.
	Everyone's talking about 12 inches as a good cock.
	That's a big cock. That's a circus freak.
	I mean, where does that go?
	Next to your lungs? A woman's pussy is only about four inches deep.
	So after that, you're like getting into her organs.
	So a woman should be fine with this as an erection.
	And if you're this, Well, that's not terrible.
	It's three quarters of the way in a pussy.
	♪♪ Were you the Joker or something, or a robot?
	Robot. Robot. Also in the news, by the way, just to be perfectly clear, we pre-recorded that height measuring thing because I wanted to combine the two camera angles.
	So don't think that if you notice that the desk looks different that you've uncovered some sort of scam.
	And the penis size thing was a joke.
	You can see my penis in How to Be a Man.
	It's beautiful. It's one of my best features, actually.
	My worst feature being my asshole, especially when I have hemorrhoids and it's chafed.
	And if you send me some viral thing that everyone has fucking seen to death, then I'm going to send you a picture of my inflamed asshole as punishment.
	And it's been working quite well, actually.
	You know the guy who sent us the, fuck you, buddy?
	Yeah. I sent him a big long thing live on the show where I go, fuck you, you idiot.
	Why are you sending me this?
	It's from 10 years ago and it's the most viral video in the world.
	What are you, retarded, really mean email?
	And he just sent back, all right, I won't send anything again.
	Oh, I guess no one's ever been mean to you.
	Alright, let's spin the God wheel, shall we?
	We can, we shall, we do.
	Bumper first, right?
	Yes. The God wheel.
	So God is in control.
	Of this, we let him do the show.
	And sometimes we'll go, God, like why the war on kids three times in a row?
	And then that weekend, we'll see that there's child sex trafficking or something, and we'll realize, holy crap, he's playing 4D chess with us.
	So this is up to the Lord in heaven above, and we'll see what he decides.
	There's plenty of shit we wanna talk about, like racism, for example.
	but let's see if he deems that important Oh! He ended up on racism!
	I'm out.
	That's weird. What are the odds?
	That's the one I wanted it to be.
	Yeah. Kind of a trip, huh?
	What a coincidence. Yeah, seems kind of weird.
	We'll play the racism thing.
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference?
	What else could I have done to pencil off?
	A black woman? This is really inconvenient.
	It's gotta be one of the greatest fucking songs on earth.
	Holy shit. They looped the intro though.
	What? Yeah. Yeah?
	They literally just play it twice.
	You could like hear the cut.
	I'm gonna ask ChatGPT if that's true.
	I forgot to plug Nita Fashions.
	I usually wear a suit, a custom tailored suit on this show.
	I have more suits than I need now, thanks to Nita Fashions.
	I call it a, it's a tailor, have your own tailor.
	For cheap. I call it, it's for cheap rich guys.
	And to go to their fittings, pull up Nita Fashions, Ryan, to go to their fittings is like going to the spa.
	It's all men. There's very few places we have left.
	The barber shop, although women are infiltrating there, they bring their son and then they wait for him to get his hair cut so he can't do rude jokes or help him trash talk like in Gran Torino.
	Boxing gym, though women are there doing their silly boxing where they punch the heavy bag.
	It's not even hard enough to break an egg, but okay.
	The dive bar, again, women are all over these fucking things.
	I would say a tailor is one of the only places where it's all dudes and women don't come in.
	I've talked to them about females and he goes, sometimes some lesbian will come in and she wants a blazer and he goes, it's a nightmare.
	They always want it redone and retouched and blah, blah, blah.
	It takes way too much time.
	So you can contact Nita Fashions on their Instagram.
	Or through their site. There's a million ways.
	It's very easy to find. And you could do, you buy on Amazon, get one of those wobbly cloth tailor measuring things that tailors use.
	And you know, great first date thing with a chick.
	You can get measured via FaceTime.
	And then they can send you swatches and you can choose your outfit.
	You should have at least one suit.
	Even if you're a plumber, you're gonna go to a funeral, you're gonna go to a wedding.
	And when they're custom fit, they feel like PJs.
	So go to their schedule, Ryan, because the best thing to do, if you have to do the remote thing, that's fine.
	But if you check their schedule, now, I don't know, make me small and make it big.
	This is not really. So today is October 11th, Friday.
	So they are still in Palo Alto.
	California, October 11th.
	They're going to be there for two more days.
	Then if you're anywhere near San Francisco, they're going to be there for a couple days.
	If you're anywhere near Scottsdale, Arizona, they're there 17th and 19th.
	Then they're in Palm Beach, California, 21st and 22nd.
	And then the 24th to the 27th, they're in L.A., And the beauty of it too is once they have your measurements, you can just go like, hey, I saw this cool shirt.
	Like I sent them a picture of Jesse James and his brother.
	And I go, I love this suit, especially when it's all worn in.
	Can you make that?
	And it doesn't exist anywhere on their plans.
	And they go, yeah, yeah, we can pull that off.
	It's just a high collar on a blazer.
	I have a Jesse James suit now that I can wear with my cowboy boots.
	That picture. I sent them that picture and they made me that suit.
	And if you go back over all the issues of censored, I'm sorry, get off my lawn, you can see it.
	Okay, so, free episodes, we tend to avoid racism.
	Those are the two guys, Peter and Anil, father-son.
	He said to me once, he goes, I wouldn't sell this for $4 billion.
	This is a family business, and I'm going to have it, I want my grandsons to have this business.
	It's very admirable.
	Different generation. Okay, sorry, racism.
	Now, we try to avoid this subject because, you know, it's controversial and America has a big stick up their ass when it comes to race, but fuck it.
	This is one of my favorite things.
	A guy with a leaf blower.
	It's a black dude stealing this from that...
	He's some European guy.
	You know the dude? He's pretty good at viral videos.
	He invented this thing.
	He also busts pedophiles now with famous rappers as part of his entourage.
	Oh, I forgot his name, but yes.
	He's good. I mean, Europeans are starlings, right?
	They come here and take over.
	But... Here he is.
	No, here's a different guy stealing his bit.
	But I just love this bit because these wigs look so fucking dumb
	Why is your actual hair as embarrassing as exposing your genitals
	I told you to take mine off! No! No! No! No!
	Oh!
	Oh!
	you Like, he sends that one flying.
	And everyone's like this, oh my god.
	Your actual hair has been exposed.
	How horrible. Look, look at her running.
	She's exposed, naked.
	They literally care more about that than their tits.
	Like, in every fight that I see with black women, a tit flops out.
	Yeah, or their shirt is gone.
	And they don't care. And here's the thing, that dude with the chin beard, what the fuck's his name?
	The mulatto guy, he just did a book on Lies My Liberal Teacher Told Me.
	Like, back when I was on Twitter, he argued with me about this, and he's wrong.
	It's weird to be embarrassed of your natural hair.
	Imagine if you would.
	Wilford Riley. Yeah, Wilford Riley.
	Imagine if you will, if you would.
	Every single white woman you know or see on the street is wearing an Afro wig.
	A different race's hair.
	Wouldn't that bother you?
	That would be weird. When I was a kid in Canada, blacks didn't do this.
	Even up until when I moved here in the 90s, I was shocked when I moved to America and saw every single black woman wearing a wig.
	She don't wear no wig.
	She's got braids, which, by the way, were invented by the Dutch.
	Black people think they invented braiding hair.
	Sorry. That was in the Netherlands.
	I also... I get a lot of flack from Jews who think I'm a Nazi, and I get a lot of flack from Nazis who think I'm a Jew lover, which probably means you're in a good spot.
	You're doing the right thing.
	And I'm a Zionist.
	I support Israel. I don't want them getting all this money.
	$4 billion a year is plenty.
	I think we give them $17 billion this year.
	I don't want our boys going over there to fight that war.
	But you got beef with Palestine.
	They attacked you on October 7th.
	Have a war. Your civilian casualties are not that bad.
	They're better than we had in World War II. We had nine civilians for every enemy combatant.
	Israel's down to like two for one.
	And this is Palestine using civilians as cannon fodder, hiding behind them, quite literally.
	But to be totally honest, a big part of my support for Israel is...
	The anti-Israeli movement here in America is Marxists, college students, it's refugees, Muslims, and it is self-hating whites.
	So the real reason you're seeing these protests all over the country is anti-white hatred.
	That is what these college campuses are.
	Do you think these college students give a flying fuck about Palestine?
	Do you think they even know where it is?
	They've been asked, from the river to the sea, what river, what sea?
	They don't know. Because they don't care.
	They know a whitish person is attacking a brownish person, so I'm choosing the brownish side.
	If Greece invented Syria, you'd hear non-stop talk about the importance of the Syrian independence movement or something.
	Maybe wearing whatever Syrians wear.
	And I thought this was a great example of it.
	This fucking loser.
	There's two types of people in the world.
	Men, I should say.
	Men who have been punched in the face and men who haven't been punched in the face.
	This self-hating white is someone who hasn't been punched in the face and he's going to Jewish areas and antagonizing people who are eating dinner.
	Is this the right video? It was the next one on the list.
	Oh no, sorry. Okay, sorry.
	We'll get... Uh-oh.
	It's supposed to be 20, right?
	Yeah, let's save 20.
	Okay. Let's jump to 21.
	Because I already introduced you to this.
	Free? You say free Palestine?
	That's what you say? Why is he saying it like that?
	This is a white guy.
	As white as me.
	You guys out there who hate Israel, look at your fellow activists.
	You chose the losing side.
	You chose the dorks.
	Just punch him.
	Please, just punch him.
	Stop! That's him.
	White people are always lame.
	He could be my brother. Stop!
	Do you see what I'm saying? Like, there's an argument against Israel and how Palestine doesn't have these rights and blah blah blah.
	I understand that and I've argued with said people.
	I've been there. I've argued that there's a lot of anti-Israelis in Israel, by the way.
	You should read their fucking media.
	It sounds like it's written by David Duke.
	I'm pro those Israelis.
	But that's not the impetus for the anger here in America.
	It's not logical.
	It is racist and it's anti-white.
	I'm not saying If you hate Jews or something, you hate whites by definition.
	I'm saying that is the pattern that I've noticed.
	This guy is the perfect example of the pro-Palestinian movement here in America.
	It's anti-white.
	They see Jews as the ultimate whites.
	Ma'am, can we ask your stance on Palestine?
	And I think Jews are shocked too.
	Because they thought that they weren't white.
	And they thought that, you know, it would be all MAGA guys out to get them after October 7th.
	Sorry, it's the Marxists you created and it's the refugees you let in
	He's a baby killer He's not happy anymore now he's angry sir, who are you
	looking for? Where are you looking?
	Who's gonna help like does this guy give a shit?
	the TikToker, about the, what is it, 95 hostages there?
	They say a third of them are probably dead.
	Who's gonna help you, bro?
	This guy needs a punch in the face so badly.
	Please hit him. The free, free, free thing is really making me mad.
	Someone should hit his phone.
	Look at the fucking pussy with his dog.
	Why did you bring your dog to a restaurant?
	He's never been punched. Why are they all tolerating this?
	Are you wearing a diaper now?
	We're just using our voice to say, free Palestine.
	That tends to make people say, fuck Palestine.
	And next thing you know, people are yelling and telling us that they're mad.
	Control yourself, sir.
	Is he crying? Wait, did he just cry at the end?
	You know, people are yelling and telling us That they're mad and we just say, hey, free Palestine, buddy.
	I understand. So I just got a radio call to come to this.
	Rich people don't like hearing things they don't like to hear.
	Yeah, I don't like hearing your free, free, free when I'm trying to eat.
	But unfortunately, this sidewalk is public.
	Yes, of course. I'm allowed to, no expectation of privacy in public, as long as we're not starting fights or whatever it is.
	Oh, you're starting fights, though.
	Figure out if there was some kind of argument going on.
	The restaurant, if he was in the restaurant, like on theirs, he wasn't on the sidewalk.
	They own that area, so he could just be trespassed.
	Like, he's got an argument if he stays outside the little fence there.
	Anyway. We're just saying free Palestine.
	Yeah, we're free Palestine people.
	Where is Palestine?
	No, they're touching us. We've been touched by several people so far.
	Okay, so we're just here to keep the peace.
	Make sure, obviously, we just got a few bowls from the restaurant.
	Why are we such pussies about being filmed?
	Sir, can we ask your stance on Palestine? Sir, please.
	People at the restaurant don't know what's happening.
	They just hear people, you know, talking, speaking loudly, so they think there might be a fight.
	No, they actually started fighting, if anybody.
	But, you know, we're not fighting. We're peaceful.
	Yeah, you're real peaceful.
	He just changes his tone a little bit.
	Doesn't this guy need a pounding?
	Go to the next one, 2-2.
	I guess it would be Man City.
	Well done. That was great.
	Rod Sterling. Thanks.
	I wondered who narrated the Twilight Zone.
	Should it be the 20, right? We're going back to 20?
	Nope. 22. 22.
	Oh! Same guy?
	Yep. Same place.
	So he threw a punch first.
	Yep. Oh my god, that guy's gotta feel so cool.
	I have a boner right now.
	That guy's gotta feel so cool.
	There's another angle 2-3.
	Just a great, great block and then he uses, and this is the best thing in boxing is when you use the momentum from your block to add to your fucking left hook.
	Oh my god. And this dummy.
	And you know what he does too?
	The guy's disoriented.
	Look, what has he got there?
	A candle or something? Look at these dumbasses.
	They're all hiding their faces with a mask.
	It's a great outfit.
	Great look. The only thing that would make it better is if he had a cigarette in his mouth.
	Yeah.
	Go to 2-3.
	I can't wait to see this.
	So, the only thing is, you can of course, just letting you know our pitching practice is at 10.
	So you can of course come at 9.30, but you do have to come at 8.00.
	Look at him talking a big game with his mask on.
	This is the worst part of social media.
	He hits his phone away.
	Oh, he did the Rufio.
	Yeah, he did the Rufio where you're unconscious so you push it over like a dead tree.
	Block. Cross block.
	And then...
	Boom! And then the push.
	And so he hits his head on that outdoor heating lamp, too.
	Why does this video stop right when it does?
	I don't know, but we have the aftermath there.
	Alright, I'll end it on the thing we skipped earlier that just shows you what this is all about, really.
	And it's a mentally ill black tranny who just wants to yell at white people.
	AIDAN! AIDAN! AIDAN! AIDAN!
	YOU FUCKING JEW!
	You fucking Jew!
	That's not what this is all about.
	I'm a black trans woman.
	I can say whatever the fuck I want.
	Stop for a second. Is that not a Family Guy or a South Park?
	I think it's a Family Guy, where the bartender says something, you can't do that, and she goes, I'm a trans woman.
	They go, okay, do whatever you want, sorry.
	I forget what it is, but it's a meme.
	But let him go, let him go.
	I don't know gay people.
	I don't know what these movements about.
	It's not about trans people.
	Alright, alright, but if y'all don't say anything to me, y'all wrong.
	Y'all can mind y'all business and keep it pushing.
	We don't want that representation.
	Okay, well guess what?
	For the most part, trans are mentally ill gays.
	They don't even know what to say.
	And they're violent. What's on your head?
	A scarf? Why do you have a scarf on a baseball hat?
	Bye! Bye, bitch!
	Jump to 4-7.
	We're going off on a bit of a trans tangent here.
	Uh...
	They aren't just men, they're mentally ill men and- And mentally ill men have zero adrenaline control, zero...
	Impulse control?
	Impulse control. Trans student had a history of sexual harassment prior to assault.
	Biting attack that left main girl concussed with impaired vision.
	So whatever this girl did to disrespect, maybe she misgendered her.
	Maybe she used this man's dead name.
	And this man is a mentally ill man.
	And what does he do when you don't pretend he's a girl?
	He beats you up.
	There we go. Teachers are just sort of watching.
	Pulled out a big chunk of her hair too.
	Fucking psycho.
	Hey!
	Bye.
	Keep going down.
	I think they have pictures of her hair pole.
	Biting her? Wait, go...
	Biting her eye?
	Did that say?
	Where is that?
	Just do a search on biting.
	Straddling her, biting her, and attempting to rip out her hair.
	Successfully ripping out her hair. Oh, biting her eye.
	Biting her eye!
	Imagine a world where you could bite somebody's eye.
	Biting, like, that's...
	How big's your eye? What are you gonna do, bite my eye, bitch?
	I'll fucking bite your eye right now.
	Oh, I'll box your eyes, I will.
	I'll bite them. Ow!
	He bit my eye! I've never heard that expression before.
	Biting her eyes.
	I'll bite your eyes.
	That's like chimp behavior.
	That's chimp love.
	Keep going down.
	Or maybe that's a different article where they show the chunk of her hair.
	And then this person will get zero charges.
	There they are hanging.
	Keep going down. That's the dude who likes to beat the shit out of people.
	There he is. There he is.
	Let's misgender him. And there's the woman with the bitten eye.
	What the fuck? You bit my fucking eye.
	Oof. Go to 4-6.
	I was talking to Ryan McGinley recently, and he goes, Yeah, I was checking on your podcast once in a while.
	It's funny to see you haven't changed.
	You still hate trans. I never thought about trans back when I knew him 20 years ago.
	Is he trans? No, he's gay, but...
	Like, I only bring up trans now because of all this shit.
	Back when they were transvestites, like we had a guy that used to come into our bar lit, and he was just, he was a dude like me, but had gigantic fucking tits.
	But he dressed like a Ramones guy.
	Jean jacket and boots.
	Okay, so... They're mentally ill gays and they have no adrenaline control and they get violent.
	Mentally ill men get violent.
	That's why you never fuck with a bum.
	I don't care how weak he looks.
	Never tell a bum to fuck off.
	Moby had this tea place in the Lower East Side and I forget what it was called.
	Tea Time or Teeny?
	T-E-A at New York.
	Teeny. And some dude was like, hey man, we got a cafe here.
	You gotta fucking move your shit.
	And the bum was like, I'll sit right here when I want you.
	And he goes, I said, get the fuck out!
	And the bum just went, stuck a fork in his eye.
	They love the eyes, these chimps.
	And it went into the guy's brain, killed him.
	Bums fight every day.
	They have techniques.
	There's something about nothing to lose that really gives you an extra boost.
	And fighting every day.
	Like, these guys are literally fighting for their dinner.
	And they're around at four in the morning when everyone's drunk and looking for a fight.
	Oh, here's that video, sorry.
	The same page. If you don't look like a girl, get the f*** out of the girls bathroom.
	I don't think you belong in the girls bathroom.
	But you wouldn't, my love, you wouldn't know.
	A lot of the issues that we're having is the divide where it's competition, my love.
	We're like, we're dating the same men.
	We're definitely not dating the same men.
	We are, baby, trust me.
	No, we are not. I don't know about dating the same men.
	We are on the same page.
	Okay, so she's a nine, and he's a negative one.
	We're dating the same man.
	Like, she fucks some gangster dude, and she thinks that, because he's on the DL, that all guys want to fuck it.
	By the way, that's the new hottie that just dropped.
	Arian Wexler.
	Arian. 4-5.
	They're calling her the hottest Benjamin Buttons, babe.
	Benjamin Buttons, babe, are women who get prettier as they get older.
	Oh. Backroom meetings.
	He's been taking them for 20 years as the number one recipient of lobbyist cash.
	The number one recipient of lobbyist cash in the whole country.
	Of all candidates, number one.
	So if you want to talk about backroom meetings...
	Whoever's dating her, just marry her.
	Just put a ring on it.
	Savage, savage takedown was by Tim Sheehy.
	He is challenging the Democrat incumbent senator of Montana, John Tester.
	John Tester is one of those guys who's been in Washington forever and has done nothing for the American people.
	I'm seeing an Italian there.
	Like they grew up with three brothers.
	Same area. Only girl, she has three brothers.
	Have we got everything with the trans there?
	Wasn't there 4-7?
	No. 4-6 you just did.
	I thought there was one.
	Hold on a sec. Sprinkles.
	Muslim sprinkles.
	Gee, I had a tranny that had raped a kid, I think.
	It's not exactly a needle in a haystack.
	I know. Well, we used to keep a running list and I just stopped.
	Because it just kept going and going and going.
	Okay, maybe we'll stumble across it eventually.
	But I think we're good for racism, right?
	We drifted into the trans world.
	Let's see what's coming up next.
	Feminism?
	Again?
	Okay.
	Feminism?
	Again?
	Okay.
	Feminism?
	Again?
	Okay.
	I don't know why we're doing feminism.
	I don't know why God wants us to do feminism.
	But let's do it.
	Well, does he? Really? That's just you.
	I don't have a snub notes like this.
	Well, I can't see the snub notes because the camera's in the way.
	Well, allow me to scoot myself.
	My name is Ove. You look like you're very good at Krav Magra, or obviously a more Asian thing, but like one of those martial arts that's not bullshit.
	Yeah. Well, thanks.
	I look like if Mark Wahlberg slept with a slant...
	Wow, the more I try to smile, the more weird...
	That's a really interesting...
	I just saw an action movie with that guy in it.
	Mark Wahlberg? No, the guy that you are there.
	He's a Chinese cop.
	It's in Chinese. And this hacker kidnaps...
	No, this guy with online gambling kidnaps hackers and programmers.
	Is it called Cyber Heist?
	Maybe. Or The Takeover?
	Maybe The Takeover?
	Show it. It's pretty good.
	No. Chinese movies.
	The picture is him fighting this Thai guy in a first-class cabin because the guy was about to escape.
	He's a big fat dude.
	Where'd you watch a Chinese movie at?
	On a plane. It's new.
	What did you look up? Chinese movie, cop.
	Chinese cop action movie and not hacker, online casino.
	Scam. Oh.
	Rogue Heroes? No.
	Rogue Heroes? No.
	This makes for great TV, doesn't it?
	It doesn't. You're right.
	Well, it was good? Yeah, it was awesome.
	Non-stop fighting.
	This guy's a big burly Chinese cop who doesn't know anything about technology, but he has to solve the case because he promised one of the victim's mothers he would, and he just beats the shit out of everyone.
	Lots of body shots.
	Deeks it out and then does a body shot.
	But Jim, the other day, this guy, I won't say his name, African-American gentleman, we do not get along at all.
	I don't spar with him anymore.
	He gave me a bloody nose, which I know that sounds like I'm a pussy, but you don't punch someone that hard in sparring.
	You're not trying to win. And then there's this dude there, this DA, Fred, and a great guy, DEA, And I look over and he's taking a knee, which means he got a body shot, which means he broke his ribs, which is like, now I can't sneeze for five weeks?
	Dude, we're practicing here.
	I don't know. There's different camps.
	Some people think you've got to practice hardcore if you're ever going to fight hardcore, but I think sparring is just...
	It's sort of like if you're playing ping pong and you just want to keep the volleys going.
	You're not like fucking wham!
	Sounds like something a woman would say.
	Who here identifies as a feminist?
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's toxic masculinity.
	You don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
	So Jebediah Bila of Fox News fame seems to have come around.
	When I first met her when I was at Fox, she was pretty slutty.
	She's into sex toys. I think she was like fucking some other girls with a strap on and stuff.
	But she seems...
	I love her, by the way. Great gal.
	Great gal! But she seems to have come around.
	And here she is schooling a young slut who's a fucking knockout.
	I love that kind of nose and mouth.
	That's Destiny's ex.
	Oh, really? Yeah. Wow, I didn't know.
	That's the one that would fuck black dudes and he would sit in a chair crying.
	That's a starling.
	That's a European who comes here and destroys people.
	No natural predators in North America.
	Wow! I'm immune to Swedish women.
	Like, they look perfect, like their features are perfect, but I see that there's like this weird evil behind it.
	I just hate the European accent and to hear that, wow, what are you doing?
	Are you going to be going to the disco later on for your whole life?
	I wouldn't be able to take it.
	French isn't so bad.
	I could do with the French accent, but like Northern European, Western European, maybe Spain is okay.
	I don't know if I could do Glaswegian.
	You want a fucking blowjob than you?
	I did. Till you opened your mouth.
	Anyway, check this out.
	Do you understand why guys would have a problem with a woman with a high body count, though?
	Do you understand the logic behind it?
	I think it's insecurity.
	That's where it comes from.
	Do they really want to have a woman that is just a virgin?
	Yes. Because she's not going to be good, and she's going to have no experience.
	There's nothing worse than a very good blowjob.
	You're just like, oh shit, you know tons of tricks that I've never even experienced before.
	So you know more about sex than me, and that's gay.
	That's a gay lifestyle.
	Fucking a different person every night is a homosexual lifestyle, and it's a turnoff.
	Ideally, you're both learning about sex together.
	No one watching this is ever going to experience something that pure.
	But that is the design.
	It's the high school sweetheart at 18 and you both like figure out anal and oral sex together.
	No matter what the Catholic Church says.
	That's so boring.
	Isn't that boring? That's so boring.
	Women are a canvas. We don't want them to be good at shit.
	We'll handle the moves. That just sounds transactional to me.
	It just sounds so boring. I don't know.
	You're the transactional one.
	Fucking everything that moves.
	You know, want to be, you know, head of household and consider themselves leaders and want to, you know, provide for their women.
	And they don't. They don't find it unattractive that a woman would have inexperience because they feel like, you know, what's going to make that experience in the bedroom so powerful is not that she can bounce off the walls or knows all these tricks or knows all these sexual things and, oh, she looks, oh, look, she's doing something like out of a, you know, that's not what's appealing to them.
	What's appealing is that she's really excited to be there for him.
	She's present. She's loyal.
	She's committed. And he doesn't need her to be an acrobat.
	He just needs her to be loyal. They knew Jebediah's background.
	If we could see some of the freaky sex she used to get up to.
	But that's good to see.
	These are Glaswegian girls.
	I actually don't mind them.
	I think they're quite nice sometimes.
	Sometimes. In Scotland, I'm like, oh, that sounds a bit weird.
	I don't mind it.
	I don't mind it at all. That sounds a bit weird.
	Don't worry about him.
	I'm much more of a look at a sideways way of life.
	Like, what if we didn't have walls?
	We'd all be in one big room.
	Spooky. Where's my spooky?
	Here's a moron who knocked a bitch up.
	This is a very Canadian thing.
	This guy's not Canadian, but in Canada, my hometown, they're always reinventing the wheel, like polyamory or non-monogamy or I'm just going to be a random dad.
	Okay. The thing that we've been doing like predates Christianity, predates agriculture, predates everything, this marriage plan with monogamous, with monogamy.
	But yeah, let's reinvent the wheel.
	Let's see how it goes. This is the story of me agreeing to get an older woman pregnant and then her trying to ruin my life.
	When I was 23, I had a one night stand with a girl from my hometown named Maria.
	We both knew it was nothing more than that and we didn't speak after.
	Several months later, I received a text from her saying that she hadn't been lucky in love and she wanted a baby before it was too late.
	Oh well, wish you nothing but the best. So she asked if I would get her pregnant and I wouldn't have to bear any responsibility, like a sperm donor.
	I considered it and I first thought no, but after some time to think about it, I thought it would be the right thing to do for someone struggling.
	So we filled out an ironclad agreement and basically I wouldn't be responsible at all.
	A while later she told me she was ovulating and then a few weeks after that she told me she was pregnant and that it worked.
	Went back to California for work and we didn't speak after that.
	Unbeknownst to me, she contacted my family behind my back and invited them to the baby shower.
	Then began... Red flag!
	Immediately red flag!
	As she got to know my parents, my parents started encouraging me to be in the baby's life and once I found out it was the little girl, I thought it was the right thing to do.
	Stop! I flew home to be there for the birth.
	Like, can you not see where this is going?
	Speaking of Nazis, what the fuck do you think?
	Why are there 8 billion of us?
	We have instincts.
	Even my cousin, my cousin Glenn, who lives in London, he's Scottish.
	I hadn't seen him for 20 years.
	We go to Keane Steakhouse and we're just like, it's just this bond.
	That's a cousin. This is my dad's sister's son.
	Is that your sister's ween?
	And we both said, like, this is uncanny.
	We both love the Modfather store in Camden Town in London.
	We both have been there tons of times.
	Like, it was weird.
	Like, what do the insane clown posse say?
	His little kid looks just like him.
	It's a mystery. Go ahead, you moron.
	You fucking idiot. And I got a tattoo of our daughter's middle name before she was born.
	After our daughter was born, Maria wanted us to be together and be a family.
	And when I said I didn't want to do that, she wouldn't let me see my daughter.
	My main source of income at the time was the Airbnb that I owned.
	And she said this a few months after she was born.
	I felt bad, so I let her move in for several months, rent free.
	What could possibly go wrong?
	I've never done anything to warrant supervised visits, but I agreed to keep the peace.
	I would come home as often as I could to see our daughter, and things were usually okay when I was there.
	These are all from her Facebook.
	One Halloween, I didn't want to wear matching costumes with Maria, so she wouldn't let me see my daughter for a while.
	And when our daughter was being baptized, I drove a 14-hour round trip from Nashville to attend.
	Like, stop. Did he make this TikTok for sympathy?
	Because I'm just watching a dodo bird go extinct.
	Like, what the fuck?
	How did you survive this long?
	You boob. He's like, I just want to make it work.
	So I went over there and we talked all the time.
	I decided they could stay at my house.
	And then my parents told me to be more in the baby's life.
	So I did. And then I totally ignored the fact that she's a crazy bitch and I've just fucked up my life.
	Because I didn't want to see Maria the night before.
	She didn't allow me to come to the baptism at all.
	You know what he's leaving out, by the way?
	He's been fucking her on a regular basis.
	I guarantee. When he goes back, they fuck.
	He doesn't, oh, no, oh, no, I don't want to.
	And then she blows him. He's like, well, all right.
	Soon after this, she served me with child support, saying that our original contract wasn't valid because our daughter didn't have a social security number yet.
	I hear about this with prenups, too.
	When it finally makes it to court, they just go, nah, you were together for 20 years, you have money, pay the bitch.
	She took everything I own.
	Everything. So, I'm not saying don't get married, but I'm saying be careful.
	Because you could get tricked.
	They trick you. That's what they do.
	They trick you. That's good advice.
	My car. Well, at least you still got those testicles in your face.
	Yeah, very funny. My car, I had a Jetta, 1996 Jetta.
	It was beautiful. Barely put any money into it.
	Rant like a damn dream. She took it away.
	Okay? Meanwhile, I had already been paid up.
	The alimony was already settled.
	Child support never missed the payment.
	She needs to take my fucking car.
	Okay? So that's just to show you there's no limit.
	You look like a Klingon, or sort of a Klingon mated with a pair of balls.
	How about I meet your fucking balls?
	I didn't have the time.
	I was living the way. I ended up paying her $10,000 up front and $750 a month.
	I was able to move home soon after that, and I began seeing...
	We're at a retardville?
	Or a regular. He said, dope.
	Everything was going really well until I got...
	Until our faces turned into the guy from Rorschach test.
	We joined the Watchmen, and...
	We were fighting crime, and things were going really well.
	Why did he blurt his own face?
	Because maybe he's full of shit.
	That doesn't look like him.
	Look at the tattoos. He doesn't have those tattoos.
	Oh, that's her boyfriend or something.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Even though she had a boyfriend who was regularly around our daughter, she said that my girlfriend couldn't be around our daughter.
	I was able to get our daughter for an afternoon and Maria asked what I was doing.
	I told her that I was with my girlfriend and we were at Lowe's together.
	She freaked out. I said I'd bring her daughter back to her as soon as we were done.
	They're at Lowe's for lunch.
	That's what he used to eat. Buckets of paint.
	He's all surprised that she freaked out when he got a girlfriend.
	This is you reinventing the wheel.
	We had a setup. It's called fall in love, have a baby, be married, be monogamous.
	You decided, no, I can flip the script and it'll work out great.
	But instead, Maria drove to Lowe's and apparently called my dad and was running up and down the aisle screaming.
	I don't know what actually happened, but she was freaking out, just blowing up my phone, thinking she was in danger.
	And keep in mind, my girlfriend is a mom as well as a nurse.
	Our daughter was never in any danger.
	When I offered Maria and my girlfriend to get to know each other so they'd be comfortable, You know, with my daughter being around, she immediately said no and, you know, called my girlfriend a word that rhymes with chore and refused to get to know her.
	Maria then- Called my girlfriend a word that rhymes with chore.
	...post saying that I was a deadbeat dad and that hadn't seen her daughter in weeks.
	Alright, this is getting tedious.
	Here I am. I went to my doctor and he said, I never took a breath out of my nose.
	You get what you pay for, you fucking moron.
	What's going on with Sticks and Hammer?
	We've had him on the show before.
	Smart guy. Cool look.
	He's kind of got a nerdy metal kind of a vibe.
	But he's got some domestic abuse thing.
	Now, I got in a lot of trouble for saying this, and I think people misinterpret it, but every domestic abuse case that I've been intimately familiar with, the guy was innocent.
	Now, that doesn't... It's not a joke.
	People think that I'm trying to say domestic abuse is always bullshit.
	I'm telling you the truth.
	Terry Richardson, Anthony Cumia, Anthony Cumia's brother, I know of about seven dudes that have faced it, and all of them were innocent.
	Maybe I just have a weird sample.
	Maybe that's not... In the sense that...
	I'm just telling you my own personal anecdotal evidence is that it's always been fucking horse shit.
	So I'm dubious when I read about someone I know like Sticks and Hammer slapping the shit out of someone like what was dinner was late.
	I've never seen that and if it happened I would fight the guy.
	I saw it in Raging Bull with De Niro.
	Oh, did I tell you I had a feeling the other day?
	Scorsese was gay. Yeah, did I say that on the show?
	You did, yeah. His wife was on the show.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember now.
	Fuck, I was kind of drunk last night.
	Yeah, that was a while ago. It was last night.
	It was 12 hours ago.
	24 hours ago. So, I wonder if we could get him on the show.
	Right now? These guys can never say what their side is.
	I wonder...
	Text him.
	I don't have his text.
	I'll DM him.
	I have some random junk news in here I was gonna get to.
	Like birds knew that the hurricane was coming and they get disoriented by the different air pressure and they get exhausted trying to escape and then they die.
	So you know a hurricane's coming when weak birds are falling from the sky.
	How fucking biblical is that?
	Go to 3-7?
	And this is what happened right before the storm.
	Spooky. Winds in the east.
	Mist coming in.
	Like something is brewing.
	About to begin.
	How fucking scary would that be?
	You're on a boat, by the way.
	I feel what's to happen.
	Perfect choice of music, too.
	Last night was weird. So we saw a little bit of the northern light glow from a distance.
	Yeah. And then on my drive home, I saw like the airspace for JFK, I guess, was completely backed up or something, but it was just like tons of lights in the sky.
	Like planes circling around?
	Yeah, but then I saw a plane to the left of those and it was blinking.
	So that's a plane. The other ones were like this amber sort of color and they didn't move and they didn't blink.
	And there were like five or six of them just standing still in the sky.
	Like drones? What the fuck is that?
	Yeah. No, because they would be huge.
	They were like plane size, the same size of the plane that I saw.
	And I even passed my exit just so that way I could just keep looking at them.
	And then they like completely disappeared when I went...
	Speaking of your exit, I heard a guy in your neighborhood hanged himself.
	And as I was reading, I was like, please be Ryan, please be Ryan, please be Ryan, please be Ryan.
	It wasn't me. It wasn't you.
	And this is a good example of why journalism is dead.
	In the old days, you'd know a cop.
	And you'd get the real story.
	These days, the journalist, he shows up to some ambulance call and he says, what happened here?
	And the guy, the cops go, I'm not going to tell you.
	Why would I give the criminal an upper hand?
	And I have to finish the investigation.
	I don't want anyone spooked.
	So you don't get the story.
	I know cops. I got the story.
	So here's the story as the New York Post says it.
	3A, a man hanged himself.
	They cut him down.
	By the way, huge fuck up.
	You're not supposed to cut him down.
	It's a crime scene.
	He had a cut on his neck that was opened more by hanging.
	And he wasn't dangling.
	Apparently when most people hang, their feet are touching the ground for some reason.
	I guess in case they want to stand up, they give themselves an out.
	But keep going down.
	So he had slits on his wrist and stuff.
	And his neck. I think he tried to kill himself.
	He left a suicide note with his roommate.
	And then he tried to slit his wrist and he tried to cut his throat and it didn't work.
	So he hanged himself and then that opened up the neck gash.
	And that's all we know.
	Well. It must be something completely irreversible that you're like, whoa, my life is ruined.
	Correct. Much like the video we just saw.
	So NSFW, if you are eating, look away.
	This is fucking gross and you're not going to like it.
	I would just recommend closing your eyes and skipping forward.
	We have pictures of that guy you just saw who hanged himself.
	He wasn't hung. That's a thing is hung.
	A person is hanged. He hanged himself.
	And the rumor is he got his 14-year-old niece pregnant.
	Does he have a Hispanic name?
	It sounds like a Hispanic thing to do.
	No offense. Should I show the picture?
	No, no. Look at his name back in the New York Post.
	Okay. I bet he's not a Mick.
	He's not an Irishman.
	No. He's not Scottish.
	He's not a Slovak.
	Well, just glancing at the picture...
	Well, tell me the name.
	Go back to the New York Post.
	I don't see a name.
	The man. A dead man.
	The man. Yeah, that's not a good sign.
	I think... I remember seeing his name somewhere, though.
	I think it's Hispanic. But anyway, here he is.
	Folks, this is the guy who allegedly got his 14-year-old niece pregnant and realized that the dad's gonna kill him.
	His brother, I guess?
	Yeah. That's here for work. NSFW. So there he is.
	A lot of blood in the groin area, which is weird.
	And I didn't know this, but when you die, flies cannot wait to get up your nose.
	And just start feasting on that mucus.
	There's probably tons in his mouth too.
	Oh yeah, there are tons in his mouth.
	So that's gross and depressing.
	Should we cleanse our palate with some sprinkles?
	Sprinkles. Let's cleanse the palate here.
	That feminism brought us to girls getting raped.
	That brought us to dead bodies with flies in the nose.
	I know this is not... It's not on the god wheel, by the way.
	way we don't have sprinkles here. We don't.
	You know what I'm changing stop sending me this to sprinkles.
	Hmm. Because stop sending me this is a boring category.
	Oh, look, it ended up on Sprinkles.
	What are the odds?
	We're having a lucky Friday here, aren't we?
	Aren't we, Ryan? Yeah, yeah.
	Sure are. Why are you hesitant?
	Oh, I don't know. Alright, this guy has the sprinkles.
	He has a great golf hack.
	This is like the Black Flag song TV party where they're being sarcastic, but you listen to it and you're like, yeah, that would be fun.
	I think I am going to have a TV party.
	So this guy is making a joke.
	And after I watched it and had a good laugh, I was like, I think I'm actually doing that.
	I'm just going to do that, especially if I'm by myself.
	If you're a high handicapper like me, then your driver's probably never found a fairway before.
	But what if I told you guys, it's not because you're bad at golf, you can't hit the driver.
	It's because you're not bad enough.
	Allow me to demonstrate, guys. That's me in a nutshell.
	See guys, what I've done there is used my complete lack of ability and consistently bad ball striking to my advantage.
	And this time, I've found a fairway.
	Now I know what you're thinking. James, that's all well and good, but you're on the wrong fairway.
	Not only that, but you're going to have to hit an absolutely enormous arcing draw over those trees, and you're absolutely miles away from the green.
	But am I? Or am I in fact 30 yards away from the green on the adjacent par 5 ready to get up and down?
	There you have it guys.
	Sometimes shooting your lowest score just means going off-piste a little bit.
	Guys, if you're high-hanging...
	That was awesome.
	Some more sprinkles.
	And by the way, for those of you not familiar with the show, sprinkles is what I talk about when there's funny and there's hardworking funny guys like Bert Kreischer.
	But then there's the magic sprinkles that the Lord, the guy running the show today, allegedly, sprinkles on you like Louis C.K., Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce.
	They're just magical.
	Jim Downey. Uh, go ahead.
	Go ahead. And you can keep it.
	Name's Liam. En garde!
	Can I get a sip of that? Nice belt.
	Real leather? Respect.
	I'd check your hand, but I need both for this.
	You gonna eat that? No, no, you're doing it all wrong.
	You're supposed to hold it like this.
	Jesus Christ, you got a name for that thing?
	I mean, golly, what are you feeding it?
	I'll race you. This is the best part about being gay.
	By far. Here, scooch over.
	I'm just messing with you.
	Name's Liam. Hey buddy, my doctor says I'm not supposed to lift more than five pounds.
	Can you give me a hand over here?
	I'm kidding. Clearly.
	Looks just like my uncle's.
	Don't stop, I'm about to finish.
	Jesus Christ! Do you need a spot, big man?
	I'm back here! My God, congrats!
	Hey man, just to let you know you got a little splash back on your pants.
	No, I got you, dog. Bro code.
	Hey, could you pass me the soap?
	Mine's stuck under this little plastic thing.
	How's it hanging? No small one to the left, I see.
	We're twins! If you can guess what's in my hand, you can keep it.
	Name's Liam. En garde!
	This guy's great!
	This is not funny. This man is homosexual!
	Oh, sorry. Gays jokes are my favorite type of jokes.
	You know what I do with gay jokes?
	I kill the gay jokes.
	I don't know what race this guy is.
	I haven't decided yet.
	Mongolian. Almost Friday.
	I know I've promoted them way too much.
	It's just interesting watching Almost Friday because you're like, the comedy has left the television.
	It's no longer on TV. It's on YouTube.
	This is better than any SNL sketch.
	And the quality of the film...
	It's like Hollywood levels.
	Zoom out so people can watch this later.
	It's almost Friday. Please don't send me almost Friday sketches.
	They have half a million subs. I'm familiar with them.
	But this is Secret Shopper.
	It's just a brilliant parody of dramatic films.
	And this woman works at a yogurt place, a smoothie place, and she finds out there's gonna be a secret shopper, like someone from corporate pretending to be a customer.
	And they turn it into this incredibly dramatic, almost action movie.
	It's fucking hilarious.
	Drop the needle anywhere. That was crazy.
	Sorry, that was crazy.
	Are we good? I'm good. You're okay?
	Yes. Good to go. Sorry about that.
	Thank you. Sorry. Wait, go back a little bit before that.
	She's trying to find out who the secret shopper is.
	She's about to get fired.
	Is somebody in there?
	Yeah, they've been in there for a while.
	If you're not the secret shopper, open the door!
	Anyway, that's high quality.
	I plugged it in there on the off chance you're not familiar with Almost Friday.
	Their shit is just relentless fucking gold.
	Just so much. They did one recently where this woman had a great ass, a gat.
	And they did the, what's his name, the 1950s cartoon with the eyes going boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.
	And the heart going boom, boom, boom, boom.
	That wolf. And the jaw going yaw.
	Who's that guy again? Let me see.
	Horny. Not Basil Wolverton.
	Cartoon Wolf. Tex Avery.
	Yeah. They do the Tex Avery cartoons, but then they make it literal and the guy's eyes do shoot out of his head.
	It's fucking awesome. Kind of made me miss doing sketches, but Ryan is going to be finding all the sketches I've ever done that have been banned from the internet and he's going to put them on the site for free.
	That's correct. Have you made any progress on that?
	Yeah, there's a bunch uploaded. I just wanted that hide from the timeline button because I'm about to dump a bunch of them.
	Well, don't dump them all at once.
	Let's spread them out. Okay.
	How many do you have? I think like seven.
	And are they high quality?
	All of them except for like baby discipline and stuff.
	That one's small. It's like 180.
	Okay, don't put it up if it's totally blurry.
	We can still keep finding it.
	I tried to get the original guys, but they won't speak to me now that I'm a fascist.
	This chick is pretty good, 2.8.
	We've had her before, and she does this same character every time, but you know, the Ramones had one song that they just kept repeating, so she's good.
	Never has. That whole, like, I need my coffee in the morning.
	Like, I think that whole thing's kind of a myth.
	Never experienced jet lag. No, I think it's just like, wake up, be where you are.
	We're in Paris. Jet lag's a myth.
	Only need three hours of sleep. Yeah, always been like that.
	I always feel like that seven, eight hours thing is like, kind of a myth.
	Never get sick. Uh-uh.
	No, been this far without getting COVID. You know, I do think the pandemic was sort of a myth.
	Caffeine just doesn't have a thing.
	Never has. I know people like that.
	The not drinking coffee thing is annoying as fuck.
	I got a sprinkles thing that I wanted to show you for a while.
	Okay. It's quick.
	Mr. President, Mr. President. What is it?
	Green Goblin is attacking New York City.
	What? He's causing mass destruction right now.
	Should we alert Spider-Man? No!
	Send $50 billion to Israel right now!
	So I did find a couple of funny SNL sketches, which is very rare.
	It's never live because no one talks like this.
	Hey Ryan, I think that you should go over to the stores at some point and take those pants back because they don't fit you.
	Right. Well, I would do that, except...
	Sometimes they read the other guy's cue card so they know where their lines are, so you can see them going...
	And that's why it's...
	I've said this 8 million times, but it's so infuriating.
	They get the best improv people in a country of 331 million people.
	They get the masters at improv.
	Improv's kind of gay, it's not my cup of tea, but it is a skill.
	And then they make them read motherfucking cue cards.
	What? It's like in baseball, you said to the guy, you're going to swing at the first two and then let the next two go, no matter what the pitches are.
	Okay, that's going to make for some shitty baseball.
	But anyway, this one I watch, and it's kind of good.
	Jonah Hill is dating Adam, what's his name, Goldberg's, Greenberg's dad?
	Adam Frick.
	Hey dude.
	Hey man. Are you busy right now?
	Can you grab a coffee or something? Zoom out so people can watch this.
	We're not going to watch the whole thing. But Jonah Hill starts dating Andy's dad.
	Andy Samberg, that's it.
	And I'm watching and I'm like, wait a minute, this is fucking hilarious.
	It's a great concept too.
	Your buddy starts dating your dad.
	He's not gay. And then I see who the dad is.
	It's Jim Downey, who's a conservative, by the way.
	And guess who he is?
	Remember Black Like Me, where Eddie Murphy's a white guy?
	He wrote that.
	He wrote Change Bank.
	He wrote Caveman Lawyer.
	He's the, I award you no points and we're all dumber for having heard that.
	Yeah, we're all dumber for having listened to it.
	That's him too. Great fucking guy.
	May God have mercy on your soul.
	That really is one of the funniest things.
	I texted him about this. I go, I knew something was up when I saw an SNL sketch that's actually funny.
	And he goes, you must believe me, making it funny was never my intention.
	But keep going. They have a scene where they make out.
	Truth be told, he is one of the most fascinating people I've had.
	There it is.
	Extraordinarily physical. I mean, take that.
	Oh my goodness.
	He's using his tongue.
	Like, Lauryn Hill contacts Jim Downey once in a while and goes,
	Can you give us some funny?
	And Jim will just write a masterpiece like that.
	And then check it out at the very end.
	He throws it back in dude's face.
	How do you guys know Ben?
	He's my dad.
	No, no. You had it.
	He's my dad. Andy, I've been meaning to tell you.
	Jonah and I are dating.
	I'm sorry, I told him already.
	Blabbermouth? I know, I'm the worst.
	Hey Ben, ready to go.
	Andy, Jonah. How do you guys know Ben?
	He's my dad.
	Small world!
	We've been f***ing! It was created by Lorne Michaels just as a fuck you to him.
	Him with the Conan Epstein thing is...
	I watch that every now and then.
	Oh, that was great.
	Yeah, where he pretends he doesn't know who Jeffrey Epstein is.
	Jeffrey Epstein's his friend and he hasn't checked the news lately, but what's been happening?
	What is it? I forgot what he nicknamed him.
	Jeff. They're like, yeah, he killed himself in prison.
	What, Jeff? And yet they seemed exempt from criticism.
	You know, Jeffrey Epstein.
	Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
	No, no, let me finish. He's talking about all the flawless friends he has that have never done anything wrong.
	Epstein, the New York financier.
	Yes! We're talking about the same Jeff Epstein.
	No. Yes. No. Yes.
	I, what? I never, I never heard.
	Oh, it was a big story in the news.
	Huge. No. Yes, for you to say, no one ever said- Jeff Epstein.
	Yes. Jeff Epstein.
	Yes, financier. The island. Yes, he had an island that I've never been to.
	Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure, with respect, if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, I would have heard.
	No, I don't know where you rocked.
	This is like that Nate Bragazzi thing where he convinced his midget friend that he had never heard of Tonya Harding and the whole kneecapping thing with whatever the other victim's name was, Kathleen Sheridan or something.
	And he's like, I'm pretty sure if that happened, there'd be a documentary about it or a made-for-TV movie.
	And he's like, there was! There was!
	But this one was interesting.
	Horny Little Dork.
	When comedy...
	This is why art is so important because it reveals so much about society.
	Society. So, you and Dylan are coming up on five years, right?
	Yeah. Aw, he's such a sweet guy.
	Shannon? Yeah.
	Dylan's great. It's just that sometimes he's...
	Not himself. What do you mean?
	Well, everything will be normal and then he'll, like, catch a glimpse of me getting out of the shower and...
	he becomes...
	He becomes what?
	A horny little dork.
	I saw your bluebies.
	I have to go to work. Stop.
	No time for sissy time.
	Horny little dork.
	From the masters of horror at Blumhouse Studios comes a terrifying look at what awaits...
	Do you promise you don't do this, Ryan?
	I irritate my wife all sorts of ways.
	I've probably done this. No, but that sex is off the books.
	Are you a horny little dork?
	I haven't... Okay, well, I've never done that, meaning to actually have it go to a serious thing, but in public, I'll be like, yeah, I'll do a horny dork for her.
	After 25 years of marriage or whatever I'm at now, I just sort of stare, and she'll be like, what?
	And then I'll keep staring.
	I have a headache.
	I gotta go to the gym and I'll be like and then walk away mad.
	I like to kiss the neck of my lover.
	Let her know that I'm not in it for me.
	It's about her. It's about sharing pleasure.
	A reminder that our union is one body, one flesh.
	That's beautiful. Yes, it's about much more than this bedtime rowdiness.
	It's about love. That was beautiful.
	Anyway, scroll through that.
	They all have the horny little dork problems.
	I'll have a workout. It will only be about ten minutes, Millie.
	Stop talking like a bottle.
	Mitch does...
	It's a robot.
	It's a joke.
	It's funny. It's a good sketch, by the way.
	We talked about this before.
	Women are on birth control.
	Birth control makes you think that you're pregnant.
	When you're pregnant, you want a man around to protect you that's not going to fuck you.
	Like a brother. So, you end up with a beta male.
	Like, I believe this happened with the Huffington Post's Andy Campbell and his British dead ovaries wife.
	She went off birth control after they got married and then she realized that she married her brother.
	And these women then become repulsed By the guy they hired.
	They got. And this is a real phenomenon.
	And it's a woman getting off birth control.
	And they talk about how he smells different.
	And the reason they're making this a comedy sketch is they assume it's across the board.
	No. This is a phenomenon.
	Where women are marrying guys they're not attracted to.
	And when they go off their drugs, it hits them.
	Maybe that's why the divorce rate is still so bad.
	It's not as bad as boomers, but it's still pretty bad.
	So that's a fascinating foray into this bizarre chemical weapon that we are using inadvertently or maybe purposefully to destroy marriage and wreck love.
	Speaking of sprinkles, the Muslims are often great at making us laugh.
	Here is Muslim medicine.
	And they're not trying to be funny, but they are.
	You have to urinate and after you finish urinating without squeezing or contracting your muscles or touching your private part, if nothing comes out, overwhelm it with water, sprinkle water inside your underwear, lift up your trousers and move on.
	Whatever feeling you get that, oh, I must have dropped something, something might have come out, ignore it.
	Inshallah, in four to five days, this feeling would go away and all of your prayers are valid and these are all negligible, inshallah.
	You have to Pretty handy, huh?
	That's the worst of being an old drunk is having, no matter how you shake your peg, the last weed drop runs down your leg.
	This guy is advocating for making it feel like you just pissed your pants.
	You sprinkle water on your dick after you're done pissing.
	Pretty smart. So he doesn't drink, obviously, if he's a devout Muslim.
	So it's the worst of both worlds, being a drunk without the buzz.
	And then I thought this was funny.
	It was how to deal with a knife-toting Muslim if you're in Germany.
	You obviously do what everyone should do, which is obviously this.
	Und ich schlage zum Kopf.
	Look, she can't stab him.
	Best of luck with that, Klaus.
	All right, very long episode here.
	And we're supposed to make the free episodes.
	We only do it free for the first half hour.
	But for fun, I thought, let's just do a big, long one.
	And let's see what God chooses for the next subject.
	You ready, Rye guy?
	Oh yeah!
	Kamala Harris!
	We used to call this my pet Biden, but Biden was told to leave by Barack Obama, so he left.
	Probably was threatened with some child molestation footage that was going to destroy him anyway.
	So let's do Hawk to a Harris.
	It's time for Hawk to a Harris.
	Hawk to a Harris.
	This is Going Around.
	Anthony had this on his show.
	By the way, if you are not subscribed to Compound Censored, go to censored.tv now and sign up using promo code GAVIN. You get Anthony Cumia.
	He merged with us.
	So we are both co-owners of this new site.
	That's why it has such a weird name, Compound Censored.
	It's Compound Media and Censored.tv merging.
	He does a show every day.
	Well, Monday to Thursday. It's my cup of joe.
	While I'm getting ready, styling my hair and brushing my teeth, I put on Ant in the morning.
	And it's fucking hilarious.
	So he already featured this, but we have to show it.
	As I keep explaining, this show is for your entertainment.
	It's to make you feel sane in a world gone mad.
	It's also to try to help Trump get re-elected.
	I'm not going to lie about that.
	I think that this is the last real election.
	And if Kamala wins, this country and the Western world subsequently are doomed.
	So that's why it exists, but it's also a time capsule.
	And, you know, I want my kids to have these terabytes after I'm gone, and I want them to see what life was like in 2024, and that includes this stupid bitch trying to use a shovel.
	Look at her go. Look how close her hands are.
	It's a lever, my dear.
	He's pretty bad too, but at least he gets the concept.
	But she doesn't understand how a shovel works.
	Imagine having never used a shovel ever.
	You know what they're really comfortable at doing?
	What? Handing off their shit to the help without acknowledging them at all.
	That was done with dexterity.
	Look at this ease. Get this out of here, please.
	That was pro.
	By the way, you know how my tattoo got infected?
	I had to take antibiotics?
	I just put this aquaphor itch relief on it and it's burning.
	Oof. This is the shit that gave me my infection.
	That means you know that's how it works.
	Yeah, don't...
	I don't want to get sued, but that's been my experience.
	I feel it hot now.
	You know what's funny? I sent you a video.
	I was watching. You fuckers, you baby monsters told me to watch Bad Monkey with Vince Vaughn.
	I watched the first episode.
	It's okay. Very acty.
	I hate when I'm watching a show and I can see the script.
	Vince Vaughn is really good at not making you think of the script, but everyone else overacts.
	There's a lot of blackting in it.
	But there was a scene where they're at this dead guy's funeral, and I'm looking at the extras in the background shoveling dirt, and I finally saw who taught Kamala Harris how to use a shovel.
	Now, I texted this to you separately, Ryan, and you can tell the editors tried to cut it out as much as possible, but it's there.
	Just go full screen and take me out of this, because I narrate it.
	So some baby monster told me to watch this show, Bad Monkey.
	It's very acty, but look at this guy shoveling.
	It's Kamala. That's good shoveling.
	That's when he shoveled before.
	But what is happening here?
	What is happening there?
	What the fuck? You're Mexican.
	You never touched a shovel before?
	Are you from Barcelona?
	Look at that. I got the wrong kind of Spanish guy.
	Fucking hilarious.
	What am I doing here? What am I doing?
	Sorry folks. Camila.
	Oh yeah, so she did Call Her Daddy, which is just, it's Jebediah when she was a porn star.
	No, she wasn't a porn star, when she was a horny broad.
	It's just disgusting. They talk about blowjobs and she's childless.
	She's really, Call Her Daddy is not benign.
	I think it's really bad for society.
	I'm not a prude, but just like Sex and the City, when you constantly promote being a dumb whore who doesn't, who is more interested in threesomes than marriage, You end up drying out ovaries.
	And that's genocide.
	Sex in the city prevented the birth of millions of babies.
	Sex in the city killed more babies than abortion.
	And Call Her Daddy's doing the same shit.
	But luckily, there's some sane, funny broads out there who have the sprinkles.
	And this was really well done.
	I'm kind of ruining it with that setup.
	But anyway, here she is on Call Her.
	I wanted to have you here today to talk about your positions, not only in politics, but also in the bedroom.
	Oh my god, thank you, Alex.
	I'm so happy to be here. I love Collar Danny.
	Do you know what the strongest weapon a woman has in this world?
	The Gluck Gluck 9000.
	Their voice. But I do carry a Glock.
	It's... People want to talk fracking.
	I want to talk f***ing.
	Just to let the daddy gang know.
	I relate to you. You know, I deal with the same problems you deal with.
	You know, we're all horny girl bosses just trying to get to the top, you know?
	And being middle class...
	Are you into bondage?
	Oh my god, Alex, you know.
	When I was a prosecutor, I put a lot of...
	It's so perfect! The hands, yeah.
	Let's talk Donald Trump.
	Let me be clear, you know.
	Donald Trump is neither mindful, nor demure, nor brat.
	Okay, when I'm elected...
	That's a real line. They talk about demure.
	Like it's a good thing.
	Who uses the word demure?
	When I think of demure, I don't know.
	I think of lingerie or something.
	It's such a gay word.
	Demure. Yeah, I know what I saw it in.
	It was in a, I think it's in our cop emails.
	It'd be tough to find, but it's this super gay cop propaganda video from some, I don't know, Arizona sheriff.
	And they talk about how when I approach a situation, I am calm, cool, and collected.
	Always demure.
	And they have like seven different cops doing it.
	We don't have to find it.
	I just explained it. But what a weird...
	What does demure mean?
	It means like coy and reserved, modest, and shy.
	Typically used of a woman. Yeah.
	It's like a sexy girl going...
	Do you do any female imitations?
	No, not really.
	You should work on a Kamala Harris.
	It looks attainable.
	Okay. Okay. What we have to do.
	Okay. That sounds Jewish.
	This one's going around.
	I've been sent this a thousand times, but we got to put it in the time capsule.
	Men being men. And you can tell they're all beta males too, especially the fat Hispanic.
	But these are all tough guys.
	Resizing, showing.
	I'm a man. No, you're not.
	I'm a man. Yes, you are. I'm a man, man.
	Yes, you are. I'm man enough.
	No, you're not. I'm man enough to enjoy a barrel-proof bourbon.
	Neat. Ooh! I'm going to cook my steak rare.
	Why are you sitting like that?
	Yeah, why are you sitting like a hot chick?
	And why are you wearing...
	That looks like a Ken Dolls shirt.
	That is literally a third-grader school photo stance.
	What is with your hat, too?
	You look like a penis. You're a dickhead.
	Is he sitting on his barbecue?
	It's a tailgate. Oh, I see.
	Yeah, with some hay on it.
	Yeah, farmers don't wear those kind of fucking gross Costco shirts that are all flimsy.
	The only thing worse than that shirt is when a sweatshirt is that material and the hood is all thin and soft.
	Yuck. What's with the straw behind your ass, homeboy?
	You looking like the scarecrow shotted and shit.
	Yeah. Yeah, that's not a good thing.
	You're not supposed to do that. Well, you should be scared of brown bears, but yeah, black bears are just pests.
	You can kick them in the head. Ooh, you spore.
	I'm not afraid of women.
	I'm not afraid of women.
	They want to control their bodies?
	I say, go for it.
	Stop. How many times have you heard a biker say that?
	Hey, man, you want to control your body?
	I say, yeah, of course you're pro-choice.
	You fuck sluts all day.
	We have to start a family? I'm not afraid of families.
	I'm not afraid of families.
	Are we afraid of families?
	You are afraid of families, by the way, DNC, radical left.
	How many articles can we pull up saying that kids are a burden and they're bad for society, they're bad for the environment?
	It's neglectful, it's harmful, it's negligent to breed because our population is so high.
	How many times have you heard that? Retarded argument.
	That's a war on family.
	What is welfare? Shattered the black family.
	It's a war on family. If you have a picture, say the front cover of Time was an all-white family by a fireplace during Christmas, you know how mad people would get?
	It would be considered racist.
	Wait, stop.
	Did you know that, that we want to ban the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
	I don't recall that being an issue.
	We want to ban genderqueer, which is a graphic novel that depicts various oral sex techniques, and we don't want prepubescent children to read those.
	I apologize. I guess I'm a scaredy cat.
	The raw dog of flight.
	It sucked. Not worth it.
	I'm man enough to be emotional in front of my wife.
	In front of my kids. In front of my horse.
	I'm man enough to tell you that I cry at Love Actually.
	Goodwill hunting. West Side Story.
	Stop, stop. You blew it.
	You were trying to appeal to regular guys, because you know you already have the female vote, and then you say you cried at Love Actually.
	Well, if I was on the fence, I'm out now.
	To tell you that I cry at Love Actually.
	Good Will Hunting. West Side Story.
	And Predator. And I'm sick of so-called...
	And Predator? You cried at a musical?
	And Predator's a happy action movie that get the guy at the end.
	We called men domineering, belittling, and controlling women just so they can feel more powerful.
	That's not how my mama raised me.
	I love women. I love women who support their families.
	Women who decide not to have families.
	Women who take charge. Can you find some actual farmers who are Democrats?
	I guess they wouldn't be good actors.
	So that's unbelievably embarrassing.
	I can't believe how bad they are at their job.
	But they are retarded.
	I know a lot of you think it's all a big plan.
	It's run by Klaus Schwab.
	And I tend to not give them that much credit.
	I think they're fucking retarded.
	Look at the level of retardation they are capable of in one day.
	This is a feat.
	Click on those picture by picture here.
	So, picture by picture.
	Biden tells Trump to get a life, man.
	Help these people. President Trump visited North Carolina and Georgia and raised millions of dollars for the victims, even though he is not the one currently in charge of the government.
	Yeah, Trump did all this.
	And Biden tells him to get a life and help these people.
	Then we have the Jewish Greek man, Mayorkas, who says hate speech and deplorable speech is ruining hurricane recovery efforts.
	We're unable to get you food because you're a MAGA guy.
	Hate speech.
	Tim Wall's wife is spending her time on the campaign trail reading gay books to kids about gay dads taking care of their cats, in case you were wondering.
	And finally, Karine Jean-Pierre is asked, she refused to comment on this, but she's asked, zoom out, I can't read it.
	Does the administration believe there was adequate vetting considering the Afghan national they imported into the country was plotting a terrorist attack and it was a security guard for the CIA? Karine does what she does best and that's avoid the question.
	That's a day. Here's another raging example of their retardation.
	And it's the end of the show.
	Oh no, almost the end of the show.
	One more after this. What the living fuck is this?
	By the way, they're both smoke shows.
	So, we were making fun of Kamala because she talked about eating a bag of Doritos.
	And so I guess they're owning that by loving Doritos?
	Okay, I get that. If it was just Whitmer eating Doritos, right?
	Then I'd get it. And she was like, these are delicious.
	I'd get that bit. But I don't get the S&M subservient les.
	I think it's like a fake communion.
	Oh, right. They're mocking communion.
	But you don't get down on your knees.
	I do, yeah. The kneeler.
	It depends on what...
	At my church, you just get in a line, you walk up to the guy and he throws some food in your face.
	Yeah. Some people receive in the hand, and some people receive with Eucharistic ministers.
	Ours is not that.
	We have a kneeler, like a rail?
	What is it called? Oh, right. What do you say?
	Do you say, God bless?
	We don't say anything for the Latin right.
	In the Novus Ordo, you say, Amen.
	Amen. I'm a real man.
	I like sacrilegious seed oils in my administration.
	So is she saying fuck you Catholics?
	I think they're just like, I don't know, maybe the symbolism of receiving the, that is their Eucharist.
	But it's a fuck you to Catholics. I don't know if they, well she's a witch apparently.
	So they're saying we have a new religion now and it's Kamala.
	Governor Whitmer. But outside of being a Catholic and being offended, that just seems like a terrible strategy to mock one of the most popular religions in the country.
	Like, don't you want Catholics? Irish Catholics fucking love the Dems.
	So you have a card there you're just taking a crap on.
	It seems like you might be referring to conspiracy theory or misinformation regarding Whitmer.
	There have been various unfounded claims and controversies around her, particularly during the pandemic, if she has an aspect of Okay, thanks for helping, robots.
	You did a good job. All right, last thing, speaking of this administration, if you sign up to the Tucker Network, it's $6 a month.
	I'm giving it free promo here.
	You could try it and then quit.
	But one of the things you get when you sign up is this cool new movie that James O'Keefe just put out yesterday.
	About the border.
	And he's a real journalist, which means he doesn't just Google shit.
	He actually goes down there and examines it.
	And he went to the border.
	He, with a Mexican looking dude, the guy got, not only did he get free American citizenship right away, but he was able to sign up just random people like Gavin McInnes, Ryan Rivera.
	We get citizenship, boom.
	We're not even there. And he signs us up on a form.
	You're gonna be clicking on this?
	Yeah. But I can give him my name.
	At St. Paul's Episcopal Church, affiliated with an NGO called La Hornada, an immigrant can claim they were homeless and if they could get proof they had resided somewhere, like a homeless shelter for 15 days, they could receive New York residency documents.
	If I pay for my friends, can I get...
	Okay, so not citizenship, New York residence.
	How far could we push the envelope?
	The workers at La Jornada were asked if we could procure residency for people who weren't even there.
	Is there names? Okay.
	we wrote down four names, including yours truly.
	What do you think?
	Four. How much?
	Forty.
	Forty bucks.
	Four fingers.
	Here's a cleaver. Cool way to get a fake fake ID. You know?
	That's why this is the last election.
	If we don't have borders, we don't have a country.
	If we don't have elections, we don't have a democracy.
	The DNC is attacking both of those things and then you just cease to be.
	A man without a job is not a man.
	A country without a border is not a country.
	A democracy without elections is no longer a democracy.
	It is a bizarre globalist cesspool dictatorship run by retards.
	And that's going to do irrevocable damage that we cannot come back from.
	So it's all in or nothing.
	You go the Elon Musk route and jump in with both feet or you lose this country.
	And we are the spearhead of the West.
	Without us at the helm, the entire Western world begins to collapse.
	We are the place that people want to get to.
	And if there's nowhere to go, then you're stuck in China, you're stuck in Russia, you're stuck in hell.
	We're supposed to be the goal to legally immigrate to.
	Or just legally do business with.
	I mean, 80% of Canada's economy is contingent on American business.
	If America's down the hole, then Canada has no one to sell lumber to and then Canada's toast.
	And so it goes until we're all fucking Cuba.
	I don't want to be Cuban.
	It sucks there. All right, Ryan, I was going to get to the mailbag unless you wanted to add any sort of last minute things.
	Look, they say that Kamala's over.
	Dem's panic is Cam falters and Trump pulls ahead.
	I think we got this, boys.
	I'm ahead. Okay.
	Oh. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it. Seriously, Ryan, fuck you, it says.
	I was watching Tuesday's episode today and got to the State Trooper part while I was watching it.
	I was eating my spaghetti.
	Due to you being a complete and actual retard, I laughed the hardest I've laughed since the Marty spit take about salt.
	Does he mean Matty? I started choking on my own spaghetti.
	I coughed it up all over my keyboard, so now I have spaghetti in my sinus and a buttery keyboard.
	That legitimately was one of the funniest bits I've seen on the show in a long-ass time, he says.
	Spaghetti in my sinus.
	For those of you not familiar with the show, this gentleman is referring to Ryan.
	We were mocking the black woman who were suing the state troopers for the test being too hard, and they won $2.7 million.
	We looked up the test. It was incredibly easy, but Ryan took about 30 minutes to get one of the multiple choice questions correct.
	Now I showed on, or Eric Adams showed on his show, Celebrity Mailbag, that Anthony had a little bit of trouble with the same thing.
	More the reading comprehension than the math.
	Well it is, in your defense, it is fucking weird doing math when a camera's pointing at you.
	It's true. And remembering names is also really weird.
	You'll forget like Robert De Niro.
	You'd be an Italian guy, gay dad, theater kid.
	You're going to show Anthony fucking it up?
	I think I fucked it up too.
	Problem. Go back.
	Let's see. Alright, we don't have time to watch all that.
	We get it. He got it wrong.
	Hi Gavin, I'm Justin.
	I don't know about white boy Tom.
	I just blah blah blah. First off, I don't respect you enough to properly capitalize or punctuate my sentences.
	Your beard is terrible.
	You look like you truly believe 1912 was the best year in human history.
	Sorry. Something else happened there.
	You are a complete faggot and the crazy thing is I'm not a liberal.
	I'm on your side. You give a terrible reputation to conservatives everywhere and I wish you and Ben Shapiro would just enter a homosexual relationship already.
	I hope, and I'm sure, that you're living a good life, but I can't spare any sympathy for you, you hipster bearded little man fucking faggot.
	What the frick?
	I would be extremely delighted if I found out you killed yourself and am completely unbothered by any litigation that may come from me suggesting you kill yourself.
	Therefore, I suggest you kill yourself.
	The world would be a little less gay without you, Gavin.
	Why'd you name the Proud Boys that anyway?
	I bet you're full of pride, huh, faggot?
	Best wishes, please kill yourself That wasn't nice at all
	Thanks for watching!
	What are you doing?
	Putting the computer away?
	Sure we need the computer for the mailbag.
	Gav.
	We need the computer for the mailbag.
	Bye.
	Thank you.
	Or I could read the...
	I could read them.
	I'll read them. Let's see.
	Josh writes in.
	Loved the cops episode.
	I had a question on the legality of traveling through different states with illegal substances.
	Do they charge you based on the origin of the drug, or do they charge you with the state that you're in?
	Good question! We don't have the cops here today, but...
	Gavin. Show's over here.
	Show's over here, Gavin.
	Thank you. Were you like erecting yourself?
	Like, were you getting the vertebrae erect?
	Yeah, I was getting the vertebrae erect.
	You are five foot five and a half.
	That is shortest can be.
	It's the shortest thing in the world.

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